It is common for someone to confuse their various roles within a hierarchal structure and their coequality with everyone within those structures. For example, a wife can be a sister, mother, employer, employee, church member, and citizen. She fits within all those structures and she's equal to every person within those contexts. This perspective does not negate each other but expand the possibilities for how she can love God and others most effectively. One of the misguided roles that some women...
Jun 20, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of Science, Saving Leonardo, Finding Truth, and Total Truth. She is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has been quoted in The New Yorker and Newsweek, highlighted as one of the five top women apologists by Christianity Today, and hailed in The Economist as “America’s pre-eminent evangelical Protestant femal...
Jun 17, 2023•1 hr 3 min
Every wife is equal to her husband, even though there is a call on her life to submit to him. These are not opposing truths but a biblically common sense perspective on marriage. Hierarchy and equality do not compete but expand the possibilities for how a couple can meet their extraordinary potential, releasing the wife to practically come alongside her husband in a disciple-making capacity so he can be the best possible leader in their union. Read More: https://lifeovercoffee.com/practical-thou...
Jun 15, 2023•34 min
A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or a complicating liability. Most of us know this about our complementary roles in our marriages, but I wonder how many wives have thought through how to be an asset to their husbands by humbly leading them while submitting to them. Though a wife’s calling is to a particular role of submission in the marriage, it does not mean she can’t step into a Christlike leadership example to her husband, as a coequal image-bearer. Read Here: https://lifeover...
Jun 13, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – Did you know a wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity? Suppose she does not understand the dynamics of his heart, shaping influences, and habituated ways of responding to social challenges. In that case, she may be unable to cooperate with the Lord to restore him to the leadership role God has called him to. Though she is not responsible for his sin, a wife can complicate what is happening to him, motivating him to continue in his passivity. Disc...
Jun 10, 2023•34 min
Harshness is one of the most typical forms of anger, and the most common context for it is within a family construct, especially between a husband and wife. When you put two or more sinners in a box for an extended period, their rawest Adamic tendencies will be impossible to hide. Dating is great, but living together forever increases the possibilities of sin exponentially. I trust these seven considerations will help if you’re married to a harsh person. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/sev...
Jun 08, 2023•33 min
Sometimes you can forgive someone for their sin against you and reconcile with them. It’s a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel. Other times you can forgive them, but you won’t be able to reconcile with them, another picture, albeit incomplete, of the gospel. The first forgiveness opportunity is transactional, while the second is attitudinal—in your heart. Either way, you can experience freedom from the sin of others if you will forgive. The best case is transactional, where both partie...
Jun 06, 2023•33 min
Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to live a gospel-centered life? It’s a label and worldview that most Christians have heard. The gospel-centered life is practical, but many Christians do not know how to connect the gospel to everyday life. What does it mean? The gospel is an excellent idea for them but does not transform their lives or relationships. In this podcast, I will provide you with three essential ingredients to live an authentic, practical, gospel-centered life. Show Notes: https://...
Jun 03, 2023•34 min
Sometimes in some relationships, a person will utilize unforgiveness as a tool for self-protection. They weaponize unforgiveness, even if they do so unwittingly. They might hold on to unforgiveness because they have been hurt so many times by the same person, usually a spouse. They are frustrated and disappointed and believe there is no other recourse but a self-reliant means of self-protection. Suppose you sense this is happening with a friend. In that case, you must tread courageously and care...
Jun 01, 2023•34 min
A lady asked, “Would you be willing to write about living with an immature husband and how to respond to him biblically? I need help; I would much appreciate it if you could give me some advice.” Her question is not new to me. We are no longer a Christian society, a time when the Christian ethos was the zeitgeist, and it did not matter as much if you were a Christian because even the unregenerate culture had a clue what it meant to be a man. That day has passed. We have reared several generation...
May 30, 2023•34 min
Imperfect people are a universal problem. Most of the time, we do not struggle with the quirks of our fallenness—until we start living with one of those imperfect people. When you put two sinners in a box for an extended period, there will be problems, making it essential to have a game plan for living with an imperfect person. I have seven tips for your consideration as I weave the life and times of three quirky people I know into this all-important discussion about those people and things that...
May 30, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – PTSD is the DSM’s way of describing a tragic event in someone’s life. Something awful happens, and you carry the weight of that thing for years or decades, often resulting in triggers as those horrific moments flood and manage the mind. Did you know there is a biblical process for overcoming these devastating things that happen to us? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-464-a-better-response-to-ptsd-and-other-triggering-events/ Will you help us to continue providi...
May 27, 2023•36 min
A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or his greatest liability. Most of us know this because people who live with each other affect those in the home—for good or evil. However, I wonder how many wives have thought through how much of an asset she is to their husbands by coming alongside them to complement, advise, share her wisdom, and disciple him, even while being submitted to them. The dual role of participating in the husband and wife hierarchy while living as a coequal is of ine...
May 25, 2023•34 min
How honest can you be with your spouse? Is your marriage vulnerable, safe, and robust enough to communicate honestly? Are you free from critique and condemnation, releasing you to talk transparently with your mate? How much have things changed since dating, when communication was not as cumbersome, constricted, or convoluted? Perhaps speaking freely in your marriage has become more challenging as the years go by, and if that is the case, I trust what I have to say will be the beginning of a new ...
May 23, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – Maybe somebody has hurt you. Perhaps you can make as strong a case against that person who hurt you as I did against my mean father. According to my godless calculating, my dad was a worse sinner than me. At some level of my awareness, I knew I was sinful, but it was easy to compare tit for tat, and when I did that, I could hold on to my anger while playing the victim card. It’s a victim mindset that fuels ongoing, unabated anger. The truth is I am no different from my dad. The...
May 21, 2023•29 min
What makes Life Over Coffee different from other training organizations? Before moving on, will you “pause the tape” to answer my question? See how well you understand our purpose—what we are about, or if we need to improve how we communicate our purpose to you and the general public. Of all the acronyms (e.g., ABC, AACC, ACBC, CCEF, etc.), what makes us different from them? Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/why-our-ministry-is-different-from-other-counseling-ministries/ Will you help us to ...
May 18, 2023•34 min
No book can help your unique husband to become a better husband like you can. Sure, there are a zillion books, and we have the Bible, too. But when it comes to a wife’s role in helping her husband mature in Christ, she is his most effective means of grace to transformation. A man’s wife has a unique position to help a unique man grow into a unique representation of Jesus Christ. Of course, these ideas apply to a husband, too. He should be cooperating with God while exegeting the Bible to bring c...
May 16, 2023•33 min
Welcome to our Introduction to Biblical Counseling training, a ten-part series. The goal is to teach you the practical aspects of being a biblical counselor. I prefer the word discipleship, being a disciple-maker is a calling for all Christians. These two labels are interchangeable, though biblical counseling is a sub-discipline that fits into the grander purposes of discipleship. Our culture and most Christians are familiar with counseling, but it does not fully explain all the possibilities of...
May 13, 2023•59 min
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The wisdom of Proverbs teaches how we will eat the fruit of our words, whether our words are good or bad. This truth can be particularly biting for the wife with a husband who does not fulfill God’s mandate to lead her well. Her temptation is to be critical. She needs God’s grace to help her live a submitted life that overcomes his deficiencies while not disparaging him with her words. It’s a tall order, ...
May 11, 2023•33 min
What is the consistent spiritual direction of your home? Who is leading the family in that direction? Who is following the leader of your home? There is only one correct answer to these questions: the Lord must lead the family, and everyone else should follow Him according to the Bible’s hierarchy. If the home is set up in any other order, there will be dysfunction. No exceptions. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/the-necessity-of-the-double-dependent-wife/ Will you help us to continue provi...
May 09, 2023•33 min
Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to learn from them to understand and help them. If we do not know them well, we cannot help them. How can we listen to people who believe differently from us but not allow them to convince us of their views or follow their ideology? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-43-listen-others-without-swayed/ Will you help us to continue pro...
May 07, 2023•33 min
Because of the clarity of God’s Word, the path to life change is not mysterious or elusive. If it were complex, we’d all be in a mess. Did you know that Paul gave his protege, Timothy, a practical plan for change that we can replicate in our lives, too? Though Paul’s process is not the final or plenary word for transformation, it’s one of the most excellent thumbnail sketches you’ll find in Scripture. It’s concise, understandable, and, best of all, attainable. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.c...
May 04, 2023•34 min
If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly, but there is a process for transformation that every Christian should know. I will break down those dynamics of change for you—the essential elements to lead someone into Christlike transformation. I hope the Lord will use these thoughts as you serve those you love so well. Read Here: https://lifeovercoffee.com/if-your-friend-is-not-chang...
May 02, 2023•35 min
Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken world that is full of evil. Every future parent knows that when they bring a baby into the world, the child struggles with brokenness and fallenness while tempted and affected by our corrupted culture. Where is the balance? How are we to think about these things? Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-42-bring-baby-evil-world/ Wil...
Apr 30, 2023•37 min
Will you test yourself before you read this chapter? What are your thoughts toward those you would like to see change, especially those not responding the way you hoped they would? My aim is for you to consider the motives and methods you employ when motivating someone to change. If we do not have a proper motive, it will affect our methods, even tempting us to demand or manipulate someone to change while never considering how out of tune we are with God and the narrative He is writing for the u...
Apr 27, 2023•33 min
Sometimes, when people hear the term biblical counseling, they think about a two-tier system within Christianity: those who can counsel and those who cannot. When I talk to some Christians about biblical counseling, they step back mentally while disqualifying themselves by saying, “I can’t do that.” For them, biblical counseling connotes a two-tier structure of competency or something for professionals. This problem, among a few other liabilities with the biblical counseling movement makes it wi...
Apr 25, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – How are we to think about parental discipline? Should we spank our children? What if we had a bad experience with our parents; how are we to respond to our children? What does the Bible say about correction, obedience, and the purposes of child discipline? This episode answers all those questions plus many more, giving you a solid foundation and direction on this vital topic. Show Notes: https://lifeovercoffee.com/podcast/ep-40-twelve-things-know-spanking-parental-discipline/ W...
Apr 23, 2023•36 min
In any discipleship situation, the discipler’s theology must inform their discipleship process. Theology and application act as guardrails to keep the counseling process moving in the right direction while avoiding the inevitable hazards that inferior theology and deficient applications cause. Maintaining this type of counseling equilibrium has several benefits, such as keeping the discipler from losing hope or even sinning while caring for others. The Bible provides us with an case study to mak...
Apr 20, 2023•34 min
Every person who comes to you does not always fully invest themselves in being free from their problems. I’m not suggesting they are insincere. I’m speaking to the complexity of some issues and the accompanying heart entanglements that have become part of a person’s life for so long that the habituation’s strength is more powerful than the motivation to change. Just because they share their trouble with you does not mean they will put in the effort to change. The unchanging person is a common oc...
Apr 18, 2023•34 min
Shows Main Idea – I sat down with Mark Grant to discuss his experience as he went through our Mastermind training program. Mark was our first student and graduate of our training. He later became one of our supervisors, teaching our students. Mark finished the coursework in fifteen months, which was the quickest anyone had completed the course. Most of our students finish within 24 and 36 months. I hope you benefit as he shares his training experience, what God did in him, and what life has been...
Apr 16, 2023•33 min
