How to Stop Over Apologizing — Say This Instead

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Over-apologizing is when you have the habit of saying "I'm sorry" when you don't need to. Here are some examples:  You approach the receptionists at your doctor's office by saying, "I'm sorry to bother you. I have a question." Your partner makes an inappropriate joke at a dinner party. "I'm sorry. They're not usually like this," you say to people. Your friend came to visit you, and it's raining. "I'm so sorry for the bad weather!" you tell your friend.  In each of these cases, it's clear that you haven't done anything wrong, and if you tend to apologize in these situations, it's time to check the habit. Over apologizing does not make you a more courteous person; it makes you sound like someone who lacks clear boundaries and is too willing to please, not good signals to send if you are working towards having a balanced relationship where your needs and feelings matter.  In this episode, I cover why people over apologize, what you do not need to apologize for, and most importantly if you're ready to kick this habit, how to go about it.