220. Growing A Coaching Business As An Introvert

You're listening to the Life Coaching Secrets Podcast, episode 220. Did you know that life coaches are needed now more than ever? I'm Frank Macri, founder of Thriving Coach Academy. I've trained over a thousand coaches and helped them launch their own successful coaching businesses. If you want to make an incredible income and impact as a coach,

and have a lot of fun doing it, I'll show you exactly how to get it done. This is Life Coaching Secrets. What's up coaches? In this episode, I'm going to answer the question, can an introvert Become a successful coach. Can an introvert run a thriving business? I'm going to debunk all of the myths that people often have because a lot of people assume. that in order to grow a thriving business,

You need to be constantly socializing, have endless energy and a big, loud personality. But this is not true. We are going to flip the script in this episode. You don't have to be constantly on. You don't need to be overly charismatic and you don't. to love being the center of attention and feel like you need to constantly post on social media and always talk to people none of this is true so I'm going to share in this episode why being an introvert can be

a secret advantage that you have in being a great coach and also having a thriving business. Introverts have extraordinary strengths that make them very powerful, intuitive, and effective. coaches. So if you've ever felt like you have this quiet nature about you and you question if that's going to hold you back in the coaching industry, then this episode is here to show you that

You're not flawed. You're not behind. You're just built for a different path. And it might just be the most powerful one of all. Now, I want to give a quick disclaimer as well. This is not an episode where... I'm going to convince you to believe that introverts are better than extroverts. And I'm not here to shame someone who is more extroverted. I'm not here to start any personality war. Extroverts?

that are listening, you can make amazing coaches too. You bring energy, you bring boldness, you bring your magnetic presence to the table. But it's often the introverts that seem to get a bad rap. Whereas introverts bring this calmness and depth and also really powerful listening skills to coaching. and also to marketing themselves as a coach. So it's not about one being better than another. It's just about knowing your lane and owning the heck out of it. So if you've ever thought that...

You're too quiet to be a coach. This is for you. And if you're an extrovert listening, I'm also going to share with you some common myths that your introverted clients might. believe about themselves so you can have some supportive ways to challenge the rules that they have about their introverted tendencies. Now, I also want to give a quick update. We just had a really amazing advanced coaching module. It's a part of our curriculum in Thriving Coach Academy. We had a great group join.

Me, as I facilitated the module where we did a deep dive into more higher level skills to help our coaches show up and coach more efficiently in their sessions. and really get to the root of what's holding their clients back. It was so much fun. And just a few days later, I led an orientation call where our newest cohort of coaches are beginning their coach training. So lots of exciting things happening.

And if you're interested in making this the summer that you double down on your goals to make a bigger impact and also create a life of more freedom and fulfillment. then join us in Thriving Coach Academy because we have another cohort that is starting very soon. All right, I'm going to start by defining what is an introvert and some of the signs that you might be introverted.

An introvert is someone who tends to feel more energized and more recharged by spending time alone or in calm, low stimulation environments. rather than through socializing or being in a high energy setting. So this is not about being shy or antisocial. It's just about where you're drawing your energy from and how you process the world around you.

Introverts are often deep thinkers. They're often observant people. So let me go over some more of the science that might mean that you are introverted. One sign is that you need alone time to recharge after being around people, even if... you enjoyed your time around others. Another sign is if you prefer a one-on-one conversation over a group setting.

Another sign would be if you think deeply before speaking and you really value more meaningful discussion with others over small talk. Like I know for myself, I do not like engaging in small talk. I don't like talking about the weather. I don't really. you know, like talking about just the really basic things just to fill time. I'd rather really get to know someone, what they're thinking, what they're up to, what their passions are.

Another sign you're an introvert is if you often feel drained by too much social interaction or stimulation, whereas an extroverted person is going to feel more energized by being around people. Another sign is if you have some hobbies or time enjoyed with the company of yourself. So maybe you enjoy cuddling up on the couch, having a cup of tea and reading a book, or you enjoy journaling or just doing some independent.

work or independent hobbies. You might also notice that you listen more than you speak. You might notice that you are more listening and observing. I think it's also a sign you're an introvert if maybe you appreciate people watching, right? You just like separate yourself a little bit, but you just like observing and noticing others. You know you're an introvert as well.

If your love language is getting a phone call from a friend and saying that the plans are canceled to meet up and then you go, oh, yes, I really didn't want to go out of the house anyway. I just wanted to relax and chill and be in the company of yourself. So a lot of people do not believe me when I tell them that I am an introvert. And some people have said, I just don't.

understand because you host a podcast and you've led retreats and you coach groups and you've spoken on stage a lot. How could you possibly be an introvert? I've had people tell me flat out that they think I am lying when I tell them I'm absolutely an introvert. And the reason why I am able to still show up and share my voice and engage with others and really command a presence in a room and confidently network and be in social settings is because of...

the coaching I've done on myself. It's because of the rules that I've rewritten about what it means to be an introvert and how I choose to show up. So I don't let my introversion be an excuse to hold myself back, I actually let it be fuel that propels me forward. And I'm going to share with you some of the ways that I've reframed introversion for myself to support you. A lot of my life I thought...

that because I was more introverted, that this was a limitation. I thought it was just automatically my destiny to be someone who was less charismatic or less bold or maybe even less meant for coaching. But then I just decided one day, what if this is not a flaw? What if this could actually be a strength? What if it's true that introverts could actually lead powerfully, just in a different way?

from extroverts. So I made a decision one day that I'm not going to let my introverted tendencies ever become an excuse to hold me back from the work that I know I'm here to do and the impact I know that I'm here to make. And that this doesn't mean that I needed to force myself to be loud and extroverted. It was really knowing exactly how I was going to honor my energy.

while still showing up boldly and knowing how to stretch myself without draining myself. And I'm going to give you examples, especially when I talk about putting yourself out there and marketing yourself as a coach. And once I started to do this. I saw so many opportunities open up. I realized that introverts have a huge advantage as coaches. A huge advantage.

Okay, introverts are deep listeners. They create very safe, calm spaces for others to just be themselves, to feel comfortable to express who they are without fear of judgment.

And introverts are not trying to impress or dominate the room. Introverts are usually there to more witness and guide and invite transformation. And that is such a superpower. Now, I also want to say that I know that there's so many labels that we have in our society, even in the self-help and the coaching space. There are lots of personality tests out there that you can take, and I want you to be mindful.

When you take these tests and they tell you you're an introvert or you're an extrovert or you're this or you're that. Because so many people want to label themselves. So many people just want to do that. They want to say, I am this, I'm A, I'm B, I'm C.

And sometimes what that can do, if you don't understand that you still have power and agency over the rules you play by, the rules you have for yourself, if you don't realize that, what that can do, if you take on all these labels, is it could box you in. So I want you to be mindful if you take personality tests and you have these different labels that you identify with. Because while it might give you some insight, a lot of people use those labels.

To say things like, oh, I'm an INFJ or I'm a five on the Enneagram. So I'm just not the kind of person to. be like this. Or they might even use their astrological sign against them. They might say, oh, I'm a Pisces or I'm an Aquarius. So that means I'm supposed to show up this way.

Labels will box you in. And when you box yourself in, it makes it difficult to change because you've now defined your personality. And when you really pursue entrepreneurship, and I think stretch yourself to become... the person you're meant to be, your identity needs to be fluid, right? It needs to be fluid in order for you to become

what is required for the roles that you have to have to succeed in business and in your entrepreneurial journey. So your personality must be flexible enough to expand. into the different roles and responsibility that your next level requires. I like to say there's different hats that you have to wear at times as an entrepreneur. Sometimes you're going to wear, you're going to wear that

where you are showing up and engaging with others. Other times you're wearing the hat where you are being more reflective and visionary for your business. There's different hats that you wear. And you must be comfortable switching out those hats, not getting so boxed in and just seeing yourself as one dimensional, right? When you start defining yourself too rigidly, you box yourself in and then all these labels you take on, it's not.

A tool for your growth, it's just a ceiling that you put on yourself and what's possible. You might start to unconsciously filter out opportunities and even actions through the lens of who you think you are. Instead of the person that you're becoming, and I want to say that one more time because it is so key. When you label yourself, you unconsciously filter opportunities and actions.

through the lens of who you think you are, not who you are becoming. And long, long time ago on this podcast, I talked about a concept I came up with called false authenticity. Because sometimes people will say, oh, I'm just not the kind of person to do this. That's just not who I am. When really the truth is.

They are evolving into a new form of themselves, which means that you are shedding layers of who you are right now to make space for the person you've always been meant to be. Because when you're shedding the layers... You're really getting more in touch with the core and the truth of who you are. You're not wearing a mask. You're not forcing yourself to become someone you're not. You're not faking it until you make it. What if you're actually accessing?

The truth of who you really are. And you're shedding off the lies and the false ideas of who you thought you should be. Because in entrepreneurship and in coaching, there are going to be times when you will need to lead, even if you don't see yourself as a leader. So sometimes when we grow, we have to temporarily borrow a new identity until we realize that that's our natural state of being.

So instead of saying, oh, I'm just introverted or I'm just not the kind of person who does blank because of this label I have, I want you to consider asking yourself, who do I need to be? Who do I need to, what do I need to realize about myself to show up powerfully, to achieve this goal, to move myself forward, to elevate my life to the next level? What qualities do I need to access within me? So let your identity evolve with your dreams, not limit them. Okay?

So I wanted to really get that off my chest because that is so key. I know I'm using labels in this episode and I'm talking about being an introvert and being an extrovert, but I really want you to know that your labels are not there to box you in. If you feel boxed in, we've got to rewrite the rules you have about yourself. Now, I also want to say when it comes to introversion, a lot of people will say, oh, I'm just an introvert.

So therefore, I'm just not capable of doing X, Y, and Z. But really, they are afraid. So the more truth, sometimes you want to ask yourself, is it that you're introverted or is it that you are afraid? Sometimes it's nicer sounding to say, oh, I'm an introvert. So I just, I'm not going to go. to that event because there'll be a lot of people and I'm an introvert, so I just don't do that. When really the truth might be saying, I'm just afraid.

of other people judging me i'm just afraid of talking about my coaching and other people rejecting me the first step is to get honest with yourself is it really your introverted nature which is just about how you get your energy Or is it that you are afraid? Because a lot of people are just afraid. And they're using introvert as something that sounds more socially acceptable. But when you dig deeper...

you realize that what many people are experiencing isn't true introversion. It's just this fear of putting yourself out there because others might have judgments about you. So the first step is to really be honest with yourself. Are you avoiding being visible because you're just scared of how you will be perceived? And that is really radical self-awareness. That will allow you to grow. Just simply owning that. Because that's when you're going to stop confusing fear.

with a personality trait. And you can stop using a personality as a reason to play small. You can stop saying, oh, it's just my introverted nature. And I've made plenty of podcast episodes about handling. the fear of other people's judgment and also people rejecting you. Remember that people are going to judge you no matter what. So you get to decide what version of you that you allow people to judge.

You can let people judge the small version of you that's holding back and playing small in life. Or you can let people judge the big version of you that's showing up fully and sharing your gifts with others. And I decided for myself years ago when I was afraid to get into coaching.

Because I thought, what are people going to think of me? Are people going to judge me? I'm working on an episode right now where I'm talking about really embracing the cringe because now there's this whole, oh, I don't want to be cringe. I don't want to go after what I want because what if I don't?

get what I want. Now everyone's seen me fail. And now there's this, I'd rather just hide than go after what I want and potentially not get it and then deal with people judging me. No, you want to go after what you want and let people judge you anyway because it makes life so much more meaningful and fulfilling and exciting. If you don't do that, you just end up with regret.

You end up with so much regret knowing that you let your fear win. So let's talk about what some myths are about introverts. And I also am going to share with you some examples of a very... Well-known public figures that you might be surprised to know are actually introverts. So one of the myths is that introverts are shy. And this is not true. Shyness is really a fear.

of social judgment. Introversion is just about energy. So there are many introverts who love people. They just prefer depth over small talk and they just need some time alone to recharge after socializing. Another myth is that introverts can't be good public speakers or leaders. And this is so far from the truth. Some of the most powerful speakers and leaders on the planet are introverts.

Because introverts often think deeply and speak intentionally. So they communicate with presence and with this clarity that truly resonates with others. So I did some research to see who are public figures that are actually introverts, and you might be surprised to know. One name that came up was Freddie Mercury, lead singer for Queen. And although...

A lot of us know Freddie Mercury to be this flamboyant, larger than life presence on stage. A lot of people very close to him actually described him as a very introverted. private person in real life. But think about the power that he commanded in his lifetime, in the lives that he influenced. Meryl Streep as well is a... Very known introvert. While she's very articulate and very poised in public, she describes herself as being much more introverted. There are also...

Other known people, Eckhart Tolle, who's the author of The Power of Now, very soft-spoken, deeply introspective person, right? And he actually uses his introversion as his teaching style. It's very deeply introspective. Deepak Chopra as well, another soft-spoken, introspective person in his delivery, while also really impacting so many people. Many people consider...

him to be just incredibly compelling. Now this surprised me as well. Taylor Swift, one of the biggest celebrities and pop stars right now. She's performed to millions. And she's also spoken about how she is naturally introverted and needs a lot of alone time to recharge. Now think about that. If you think of yourself as more introverted, this is the company that you are in.

Bill Gates as well, the founder of Microsoft, who has often spoken about being introverted and needing some time alone to think, to read, to process.

So it is so not true that if you are introverted, you cannot be a powerful leader. You can be such an impactful leader on this planet if you are an introvert. Another myth is that you have to be this... extroverted person and market yourself or build a business no not true at all you just have to be authentic you just have to know how to channel your energy

So you just figure out what are the marketing strategies that align with your strengths. So for example, I published this podcast and this podcast also markets Thriving Coach Academy. I don't know if you realize, but I record this podcast in the comfort of my home studio, and I'm all by myself. Yet, my voice is getting shared with people around the world who are able to be inspired.

I also used to do a lot of live events even before I was training coaches. I knew that I wanted to market my business and connect with people, but I was intimidated at the idea of doing. really big live events. I didn't want to lead workshops where there were 40, 50, 60, 70 people. And I have led some events of that size before. And I just noticed my energy. is so much more powerfully channeled and expressed when it's a more intimate group of people.

So when I would lead workshops, I would simply limit the number of attendees who could come to those workshops. Instead of allowing any number of people to come, I would say, there's 15 people. One five, 15 people or 12 people or 10 people that could come to the workshop. And that also created a little bit of urgency in people wanting to get tickets because they knew that there were only a certain number of seats. but it also allowed me to honor my energy.

I knew that I didn't want people to be coming to my workshops and I was not able to connect with them. Like I wanted the opportunity to really connect with each attendee. I wanted the opportunity to make sure everyone's questions were answered. Everyone's needs were being met. This is also.

a big reason why in Thriving Coach Academy, our cohorts are an average of 15 students. Sometimes it's a few more, sometimes it's less than that. A lot of our calls, there are... a very intimate very intimate number of students and that's very intentional because we want to make sure that all of our students really feel heard

And it's also because I know that I really like as a facilitator and a lot of our instructors really appreciate that more intimate environment where we can really connect with each one of our students. So you can use your introverted nature. to align with your marketing strategy, right? You can use your introverted nature in a way that helps you. It doesn't hinder your success. You don't have to be...

This loud presence and making yourself everywhere at once. And also networking is another example I'll share. So I used to be really afraid of going to networking events, even though, and this is way before I trained coaches. Even though I knew that I needed to meet people and make myself visible, right? The reality is you need to make yourself visible and known to grow a business. Your coaching business and your clients are going to be the people that...

become a part of your extended network, not your current network. Most of your clients are going to be people that are not in your network right now. So you've got to extend your network to grow your business. A lot of people think, oh, how am I going to grow my business with... knowing my friends and family and current network. Well, that's probably not going to be your clientele. It's going to be the growth of your network that becomes your clients.

So I was so overwhelmed whenever I used to live in Seattle. And I remember there'd be all these networking events that were happening in the city. And usually these events would attract large groups of people. And I would really have to take charge of my energy for those events. So I would make sure that I would give myself a lot of downtime before the events so I could charge myself up.

and make sure that my social battery was ready to be filled up rather than like engaging with a lot of people beforehand and then going to another social event. So I'd make sure to take some time for myself. Then this was really key. Whenever I'd go to the event, I always had this goal for myself to connect with one person, just one single person. And I would tell myself that if I can connect with one person and have a conversation with them, then.

I I've done my job and I am free to leave the event feeling like it was a success. And the interesting thing is when I'd go into the event, I, you know, notice all the people. I was just focusing on one person that I was naturally drawn to rather than thinking like I had to connect with everybody. I just followed where my energy took me.

would have a really amazing conversation with one person. I remember one specific event in mind. After I had done that, this was like a very high energy event. So after I connected with one person, I removed myself from the networking event and I went into the bathroom. I just took a few minutes there and I had a conversation with myself. I said, I can choose to go home now knowing that I did speak with one person or I can go back into the room and connect with one more person.

And I said, well, I'm already here. I already got all dressed up. I came out here. So and I'm feeling I'm still feeling good. I'm feeling actually more confident now that I talked with one person. I'm going to go back into the room and see if I can connect with another person. And these were the steps that I would really take with myself years ago. Now I can go into an event and like have many conversations with people.

Even group settings, I'm able to be in a group and navigate a conversation and express myself and listen to others. It's just taken a long, it's taken time of rewriting rules, but it's so possible. So it might be for you, depending on how introverted you are, starting with just that one person, just focus on having a conversation with one person at a time instead of thinking you have to connect with everybody. So those are some ways that I've adjusted my.

marketing strategy to actually make my introversion a strength. Because when I would have those conversations at networking events, people would say, wow, I like. our conversation. This is so deep. This is very special. I want to stay in touch with you. I want to know about your upcoming workshops and events and coaching services because

It was not like the typical small talk conversation that you would experience at a networking event. I was really genuinely interested in getting to know one person at a time and people appreciated that. And they felt that. And I will say that a lot of introverts will hide behind their introversion and not even go to a networking event. So you automatically introverts have an advantage when you put yourself in a social setting because you're going to by nature stand out.

Whereas most people at a social event like that are probably a little more extroverted in nature because it's just more, that's where their energy is coming from, being around other people. So they'll have similar personality traits. You as an introvert going into a networking event, you're going to have a different impact on people. And that gives you an advantage and that makes you memorable.

Okay, so let's go into another myth. Another myth is that introverts don't like people. I think this is really funny to think about. Introverts often crave connection. That's the truth. Introverts care about connection. just as anyone else. So if you find yourself as an introvert, if you have this thought like, I just don't like people.

That's a really challenging thought to have if you want to grow a business that requires you make yourself visible, any business that you want to grow. You need to really enjoy connecting with others. It doesn't have to be in large doses. And it also doesn't have to be surface level interactions. You can be selective. You can be socially selective. But also knowing that you introverts do like people.

Right there. It's the relationships that you form with the people you connect with that really become really strong and loyal. Okay. So it is definitely not true. If you've ever heard, oh, introverts are just not meant to be around people. They're not like really social and friendly. This is. Totally false. And hopefully I've shared before the debunk for this final myth, which is that

You're at a disadvantage in sales and coaching and marketing by being an introvert. Introverts make exceptional coaches and also amazing at selling and marketing coaching because of how deeply empathetic they are. how they're able to create deep rapport. Introverts are so good at holding space instead of overpowering. And that gives them this special magnetism with other people. There are so many...

qualities that you likely have if you're introverted that will make you an amazing coach, that mean you have the ingredients to be a great coach. You're likely someone who listens really deeply.

You might also be really connected to your intuition. You also likely are someone that has maybe a calm energy to you. So when you think about... all the clients that their lives are in chaos and maybe they're emotionally overwhelmed, but then they step in front of your introverted presence and their energy starts to relax because you're this safe anchor for them.

Your calmness, even though you might think, oh, can I really be successful because I'm more calm and relaxed? Yes, because your calmness is also going to be contagious. It's going to invite clients. who appreciates the ability to regulate themselves, reflect, and reconnect with themselves. Just like if you're extroverted and you bring out passion and excitement, enthusiasm in people.

you're also going to be a draw to those people who might be more inward because you're giving them access to something in themselves that they don't already connect with. Okay? So introverts can... and do make incredible coaches. We've had many introverted coaches go through our training program and have insane results, really incredible results with their businesses. Okay, so again, if you've ever thought that you're too introverted or too quiet to be successful,

I hope that this episode has given you some new truths to hold on to because your quietness is not a sign of weakness. It is a gift. You do not have to become. Someone louder and someone bolder and someone more extroverted to thrive. What if instead you just needed to stop apologizing for who you are and embrace the way you are designed?

and the way that you're meant to show up and lead, right? I want you all to know as I wrap up this episode that the secret to success is not about having a certain personality. It's about alignment, okay? It's about aligning.

who you are with the work you're doing and the way that you're putting yourself out into the world. I've shared earlier some examples of how... I changed my marketing to just align with my introverted nature, with networking, with hosting the intimate workshops, with podcasting. And also, you might find that there's a benefit of collaborating and partnering with a more extroverted coach as well. Sometimes coaches like to partner up with others.

and launch businesses together. And that's also great too. You can collaborate with someone whose energy complements yours. You don't have to do everything alone. You can have a co-host on your podcast. You can co-market. You can cross-promote with someone who enjoys being more visible, or you can take advantage of that. So the truth is, the world doesn't need more volume. It doesn't need more loudness.

What if it actually needs more presence or presence? And what if that's exactly what you have to offer? So whether you identify as an introvert, an extrovert, or something in between. I want this to be your reminder that you were not meant to follow some kind of made up formula for what it takes to be successful.

You get to create your path forward and what that looks like. You get to be the example of what's possible. Even though you might see examples of different types of people putting themselves out there with whatever businesses they have. I want you to realize that you have what it takes. You can let go of these labels and these rules that you have around your labels.

Okay, trust that when you really bring your full authentic self to the table, to coaching, to your marketing, especially the parts of you that you think you need to hide. That is going to make you absolutely unstoppable. I promise you that. All right. That's what I got in this episode on how your introverted nature.

can support you in growing a successful coaching business. If you've enjoyed this episode and you're loving the show, leave us a five-star review and write a couple of sentences of what you appreciate about the podcast. I love reading them and I appreciate you leaving those reviews. And I am so excited for what I've got for you this summer. Plenty more episodes to come. Subscribe to the show to make sure you know once we release a new episode. And I will see you in the next one.

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