You're listening to the Life Coaching Secrets Podcast, episode 208. Did you know that life coaches are needed now more than ever? I'm Frank Macri, founder of Thriving Coach Academy. I've trained over a thousand coaches and helped them launch their own successful coaching businesses. If you want to make an incredible income and impact as a coach and have a lot of fun doing it, I'll show you exactly how to get it done. This is Life Coaching Secrets.
What's up coaches? In this episode, I'm going to talk about the anatomy of a coaching session. I'm going to go over what happens in a session to make it powerful. Now, before I go into this, I've got a huge announcement to share. And that is that the book that I've been writing over the past year, The Thriving Coach. is scheduled to officially launch April 16th, 2025. Yes, the launch is finally here and it is just a few days away.
So make sure you mark your calendar. April 16th, the book will be available to purchase through Amazon. You'll be able to get it in various formats. And this is going to be a game changer for you. Okay. The book is going to share how to navigate through coaching sessions in a way that leads to fast breakthroughs.
It's going to go over how you can actually build a business that feels aligned, authentic, and profitable. I also go over some ways that you can confidently attract clients without being salesy or pushy. And I also give you a lot of strategies and tips. to overcome imposter syndrome and really own your value as a coach. And this book is perfect if you are an aspiring life coach or even if you're already coaching and you're looking for a way to level up your game.
And if you are a student in Thriving Coach Academy, this book is also a great resource to complement all the foundational concepts and tools that you are learning. Now, there are some stories that... are too personal to share publicly on the podcast that I put into the book. I'm really excited to have that out in the world. and to hear all your responses when the book launches next week.
So April 16th, again, you'll want to head to Amazon. I will put the link in the show notes on that day. I'll probably release a special episode. If you're not already, make sure that you're on our mailing list. So that way you'll get that email with the link the moment that. the book is available. And if you want to be on our mailing list, make sure you go to thrivingcoachacademy.com.
You're going to want to be on that list so you can be one of the first to get access to this book. I really do believe that this book is going to change the entire coaching industry and is going to change your future as a coach. So you'll want to make sure that you get a copy. We also are giving away lots of gifts during the launch week.
So as a thank you for purchasing the book, we're going to give you some extra goodies. So if you decide you want to purchase three books, we will give you our coaching fundamentals course. Typically we sell this for $97. This is a great crash course into coaching. It's four hours of video content that comes from our actual our actual virtual classroom and thriving coach Academy. So it's also a great way if you're not already in our program, it's great way for you to be immersed in the energy.
And the learning atmosphere that we have, you'll see how much fun we have when we train our coaches. And you'll also learn a bunch of foundational coaching skills as well. So you will get access to that coaching fundamentals course if you buy three books. If you buy five books, this is a really huge gift. I will give you a private session with me.
And I have not offered one-on-one coaching in a really long time. It's been over a year at this point. And when I was offering one-on-one coaching, I was charging $1,000 a session, $1,000 an hour. So if you buy five books, then you will get a one-on-one session with me.
And we could chat about whatever you want. We can talk about your goals, your vision as a coach. If you're looking to get into coaching, we can talk about anything personal in your life, any blocks that you might have that you feel like is keeping you from really going after what you want. So you get a private session with me if you buy five books. And if you buy 10 books, I think this is also a really awesome gift.
you will get a $1,000 scholarship that you can use towards your Thriving Coach Academy tuition, $1,000 scholarship. And all these gifts stack. So if you decide you want to buy 10 books, then you will also get the rewards if you were to purchase five and three. And you might wonder what you would do with those extra copies. Well, you can always give them away to friends or anyone in your life that you feel.
is looking to start a new chapter, maybe someone that you feel would make a great coach, or you could just prop your books around all the bathrooms in your house. as something to read while, you know, guests are using the toilet or just put them up, hang up the book on the wall or, you know, put it on your counter as decor, whatever you want to do with it. So again, April 16th.
is the official launch of The Thriving Coach. And even if you just grab a single copy, I am deeply appreciative. I can't wait for you all to dive into The Thriving Coach. And all the gifts that I mentioned earlier are for those who are not yet enrolled in Thriving Coach Academy. If you are already a student in our program and you'd like to be a part of the launch, we have a whole different selection of gifts that you'll receive. Check your email to learn about what those are.
All right, so now to the topic of today's episode. I want to break down what happens in a coaching session. So there's a concept we teach our coaches about in the academy, and I call it the coaching art. So if you imagine an arc, this is a way to visualize the flow of a session. And there are three essential phases that happen in every session. And those phases are the beginning, the middle, and the end.
So if you're ever in a coaching session and you feel like you're running out of time or you're getting really lost in your client's story and their details, or you're unsure how to wrap up a session and have a real impact. then this framework is going to change everything for you. Now, one of the myths that a lot of coaches often have is the idea that you need to have a certain amount of time in a session for it to be impactful.
And the reality is that transformation doesn't require more time. It requires more precision. So when you're able to master the flow of a session, You're going to have deeper breakthroughs with your clients. They're going to get faster results. And you're going to have a coaching experience that feels seamless and effective. So I'm going to break down for you what happens in those three parts.
of the coaching session, of the coaching arc, the beginning, middle, and end. So that way you can lead sessions that don't just feel good, but actually lead to your clients having lasting transformation. Now, typically in the coaching industry, especially more old school methods of coaching, a lot of coaches assume that your session should be around 45 to 60 minutes.
And I think the reason a lot of coaches have this assumption is because they compare it to how a lot of therapists work, which is typically one hour session. And it makes sense, especially if you are a therapist to have a longer session with a client because. It makes sense when you're needing a lot more time to understand the story or the buildup and also just process a lot of emotions or process childhood or traumatic experiences. In those situations, it makes sense.
It's very likely that that would be essential to have a longer session. But when you are a coach, especially if you are a more modern coach, there has been a shift towards more efficient, precise. sessions. And this is what we specialize in teaching our coaches in the academy. We give them the ability to practice coaching at various session lengths.
But I always love in some of our practice coaching calls to do, we call it laser focused coaching, where we'll invite our coaches to lead 15 or even 20 minute sessions. And that is usually a bit of a challenge because it requires that you listen at a deeper level, that you don't get sucked into your client's story, that you coach at a much more efficient pace.
And also when you're working with high ticket clients as well, it's really important to know that your high ticket premium clients, they're not paying for your time. They're paying for transformation. So if you're able to help them get their transformation and their result. In a shorter timeframe, this is truly a win-win, especially if you are a coach that wants to have freedom and spaciousness in your life while still making an impact.
You want to get really good at having more efficient coaching sessions, okay? So the way that you can get really good at that is to understand the art. No matter what duration of your session, as long as you're honoring the arc of it, the beginning, the middle, and the end, your clients are going to leave the session with a feeling of completion. They're going to feel like they got exactly what they need. so what happens in the beginning of a session let's start there
The beginning of a session, you want to first establish rapport. So you can do a quick check-in with your client. You want to make sure you're showing up to your coaching sessions with an energy that creates... safety for your client. And your client's going to feel this right away in your tone, in your presence, and even your appearance if you are coaching them in person or through video.
So you want to make sure that your clients, just by the nature of your presence, are feeling safe and comfortable to open up and share their thoughts and feelings with you. If this is a follow-up session with a client, then you might take a moment to check in on their actions or their goals to make sure that they followed through. The second most important thing you'll want to do in the beginning part of a session is set what's called the agenda.
so you can think of the agenda like the focus of the session so it's defining what does your client want to focus on what would they like to get out of the session and you want to make sure that you clarify this and really hone in. And this is one of the most common mistakes that a lot of newer coaches make is they either don't set the agenda or they're not really clear what the agenda is.
And then they realize it towards the middle of the session. And then they've got to backtrack. And this is also why with the rubric that we evaluate our coaches on, this is one of the criteria points that we. score them on which is how powerfully they're setting the agenda with their clients so our coaches become very very proficient at this because of all the feedback they get from our program so you'll set the agenda with your client so they know exactly what they're moving toward
And then the third thing you'll do in the beginning of a session is identify what I call the big domino. So if you imagine a line of dominoes. When you knock over that first big domino in the sequence, all of the other dominoes will fall down after the first one. So I call this the big domino in coaching and what it represents is what is the most significant challenge or issue that once addressed will likely cause other smaller issues to resolve themselves.
So your clients will often come to your sessions with various challenges and problems. But if you're able to identify what's that big domino, it's going to lead them to have the biggest transformation and shift throughout the session.
Okay, so if a client is mentioning several different topics they want to focus on, you might ask a question like, out of everything you've shared, which one is weighing the heaviest on you right now? Or which of the challenges that you shared is the most urgent for you in this moment? Just because a client brings up a challenge doesn't actually mean it's urgent, doesn't mean that they want to get coaching on it. So that's what you'll want to figure out in the beginning of the session.
And the more powerfully you set the tone in the beginning of the session, the easier and simpler the rest of the session will flow. Okay. So the beginning of the session, those first few minutes are really critical in really determining how the rest of the session will follow. In the middle of a coaching session, this is where you're going to dive deep. So if you imagine the shape of an arc that angles downward, this is where we start to dive deeper into that arc.
You're going to ask a lot of questions here to start uncovering your client's rules. Okay. And this is where you'll start doing often rule book coaching. And this is the signature tool that we teach our coaches in Thriving Coach Academy. We teach a lot of different tools that they can use in their sessions.
But by far, this is the most popular one and also one of the most powerful because of how efficient it is and because of how deep it also goes. This gets right to the root of what is holding someone back. So every single person operates and shows up to their life according to this internal set of rules, beliefs, and assumptions about who they are, who they should be, and how others should be, and also just how life works.
So we all are carrying around this invisible rulebook that shapes how we all see the world, how we make decisions, and even how we respond to challenges. So a key part of the middle of your session is to understand what your client's rulebook is so that way you can support them in addressing those rules that could be holding them back. Your clients are not going to just serve up all of their rules to you.
You need to know how to listen at a very deep level so that way you can pull out what are often the unspoken rules. that your clients have. They're not always going to come to a session and say, hey coach, here's the rule that's holding me back. If you have a very self-aware person, that could happen. But a lot of more outdated coaching tools, they...
They don't really teach you how to listen beneath the surface and between the lines to really recognize the unspoken rules that often are holding people back because typically that's what's going to happen. So you want to understand. how to recognize that with your clients, how to really address the one rule that's really keeping them stuck.
After you recognize that, then you're going to start to challenge that rule with the client and then eventually support them in rewriting that rule to become a new rule that's more empowering and that serves them. Now, the power of the rulebook coaching method is in how efficient it is, because once you start to practice it and do this with your clients. You're going to find that within minutes into a coaching session, your client is going to have some major shifts.
and major breakthroughs. So it really is. a method that goes a lot deeper than other models out there. This is not about slapping on a positive thought or affirmation and everything being just okay from there. that's not going to work. We've got to look at what is that old rule and then how could we really poke holes at it and challenge it so it dissolves? And that way we make space for a new rule, a rule that your client can really take on and help them move forward.
So this is what you're going to typically do in the middle portion of your coaching sessions. You're going to incorporate what I call neutral curiosity, which is a topic that I actually go into in the book. So grab the book to understand what that means. Basically, it's just knowing how to leave out your own biases in your sessions and how to really.
see what the client's worldview is and work with that. So you're not imposing or projecting your own ideas of what you think they should do. You're really letting them take the lead in this session. Okay, so after you've done that in the middle portion of your session, by the end of the middle, your client has some kind of new thought or new rule that they have. They've shifted their thinking in some way.
So now what we wanna do is tie that into action. So towards the end of a coaching session, this is where we're coming up with an action plan. You don't have to come up with any big elaborate goal. It could simply be identifying what's the next step that the client is going to take.
How are they going to apply what they've covered in the session with you? What's a specific action that they can do? So you'll take some time to identify that with your client. You're also going to want to establish accountability. And I have in queue an episode that I'm going to dive deeper into accountability because it is one of those coaching skills that a lot of coaches often forget about or neglect because.
They think it's difficult to apply, but it's essential that you have an accountability system that's set up with your clients. So that way. they follow through because even the best of intentions can fall flat, right? Even if clients are very energized in the sessions, they might not follow through on those plans. So we want to make sure we're understanding by when is your client planning to take action?
What might get in the way of them taking those actions? If something does come up to get in the way, then how can they overcome that? So you don't want to rush through the end of a session. You want to leave enough time for there to be to not just identify an action set, but to also come up with an accountability plan. So truly, they leave the session feeling unstopped.
And then it's also really nice to wrap up a session with your client sharing what their biggest takeaways were from the session. So that way they could remind themselves of any insights they had in the session. They can reflect on any types of. moments of discovery they had in the session. And it helps the client leave with a sense of accomplishment while also reinforcing how valuable the coaching has been for them.
So after you do all this with your client, you tie a little bow on the session by having that beautiful ending and your clients will be on their way. You're going to feel like you covered so much. And your clients are also going to feel like they got a ton of value from your coaching. Now, in Thriving Coach Academy, we make sure that we are evaluating how well you're coaching in the beginning and the middle and the end of a session.
Sometimes a coach might be really powerful in one part of the session, but they need fine tuning in the other one or two parts of the session as well. So this is something that you really want to make sure you have. professional supervision on. You want to have people that are actually listening to your coaching and providing mentorship on your coaching if you really want to coach at the highest level and if you really want to have your clients get the best results.
Just want to end with some overall thoughts that sometimes people have about sessions and the duration.
Sometimes when a coach goes into a session and their client starts to share, they might think, I don't know if I really have enough time. I don't know if we're going to go deep enough in the session. I want you to let those thoughts go because whenever you start questioning these... the overall flow of the session, you're going to rush through it and you're also going to take away from your presence with the client.
Instead, what you want to remember as you are in a session is that you always have the perfect amount of time for the breakthrough that's meant to happen today. I'll share that one more time. You have the perfect amount of time for the breakthrough that's meant to happen today.
It wasn't its time to happen, but the right breakthrough will happen today in the moment of the session, in the time of the session. Do not devote any ounce of your energy to wondering, do we have enough time to really go into this? OK, you might think, oh, in order for my client to have a big breakthrough, I need to have a lot of their back.
You might think, oh, if it's a shorter session, it's going to feel incomplete. It's going to be rushed. We really can't get to the root. These are all thoughts that are going to take away from your ability to coach efficiently. Okay, so transformation doesn't follow a clock. It follows present. Okay, so when you can understand the framework like the coaching arc, this is what allows you to lean into your sessions with presence because you just realize I'm following through the arc.
As long as I keep going through that arc, having that beginning, middle, and end, my client's going to get exactly where they are meant to be. And often it's just a single question that could change someone's life. Have you ever had someone ask you just one question and it set off a light bulb? You can have that impact on your client as well.
Especially if you're doing rulebook coaching, you're going to find that just by a single one of the questions you ask, it sets your client on this whole new trajectory. There's plenty of times when our coaches go out and use rulebook coaching with their clients.
They come back and tell us how their clients previously had issues that were unresolved for years of their life. And in just a single coaching session, within a few minutes, they use rulebook coaching method. They've honored the coaching arc. And boom, the challenge was resolved. They were able to start seeing things differently and uncovering new possibilities.
Okay, so by having this framework following the coaching arc, it's going to make you much more concise. It's going to make you a sharper coach. So don't feel pressured to... Have your sessions be a certain duration or to have a certain type of timeframe that you think needs to be there for it to be impactful. Just remember to honor the coaching arc. This is truly what. is the anatomy of a coaching session.
All right, that's what I got on what happens in a coaching session and the overall flow. And before I go, I'm going to leave a snippet from an interview I had with one of our actual students. who went through Thriving Coach Academy and they are going to share a bit of their story about how they started coaching and also give you some tips for success.
as well if you're looking to get into the industry. So enjoy their story, and I will see you in the next episode. Remember, The Thriving Coach launches April 16th. Take care, all. Hi, my name is Bill Grant and I have been a real estate broker for 22 years. It has been a rewarding career, but after 22 years, I've decided it's time to try something different or at least just add something to my current career.
People have been telling me for years, I've been a great listener and they've enjoyed telling me all of their problems and I've been helping them. And I decided that a coaching career might be a wise thing to learn. I have learned more about myself and my thinking by going through this. I was being coached. I was learning by other students being coached, and I was learning when I was coaching other students.
I've been coached on relationships. I'm now in a relationship. I've been coached on some money issues. You know, now my money stuff is, you know, falling into place. I came out the other side having... stopped therapy, I have gotten the confidence that I lacked in the beginning to now seek out my coaching clients. I know where to look for them. I know where to
how to reach out to them. And I see this as, I don't want to say a career, but it's more of a calling. This is something that I was meant to do. I am going to specialize in gay men in recovery. I'm now at the point where I have the confidence and the passion to let the real estate business. And I'm now going to be suing this as a full-time career. And initially, I was thinking it was not going to be as lucrative as the real estate business could be.
Now that I've learned how the business operates and my passion, I realized that because I love it so much, it could be and will be more lucrative than the real. I can't say enough about the school. The instructors are wonderful. The other students, the quality of the other students are terrific. You have to apply to the school. They don't take anybody. So it's a very select group of people.
So it's a nice, nice environment. I had an amazing shift halfway through the program. I was learning a lot, but there was still this... internal walls saying that I really couldn't do this. I was too shy. Didn't know enough. And after that training session where we were intensely coached on being shy, whatever the blocks were holding us back from the business aspect of it, putting ourselves out.
I came out the other side a new person. I had the self-esteem and knowledge that I was now a coach. I wasn't becoming a coach. I was now. I am now, thanks to the program and the instructors, very cognizant of the gifts I have to impact. I would recommend this program to everybody. someone who wants, who's just starting out in life and wants to start a career in coaching, I would recommend this to someone who is in a career.
and say they're in human resources or something, and this would really augment their career path and help them move forward in their chosen career, as well as people like myself who have been in other careers. while successful and satisfying, they're not really their truth. This has been something that's been in the back of my mind. It's something I might want to do, like a long, unfulfilled dream. And I think there are a lot of people out there like me.
who think they might want to do this and are afraid to make the leap, whether financially, whatever their reasons are, I would recommend them investigating the school and speaking to one of the people in the admissions. because I think it would really be a wise choice. I would suggest trusting your instincts. Your inner voice is telling you to do. The financial investment in the school is minimal for the return that you're going to find.
And I think the time is not that much based on how much you're going to learn and how much you're personally are going to be transformed. Hey, would you like access to powerful coaching tools you can use on yourself and clients right away for being a listener of the podcast? I'm giving you a VIP guest pass to get a sneak peek into my coach training program.
Inside, you'll learn our coaches' secret tool they use to transform their clients' lives. And you'll also get a training on how to launch a coaching business. Just head over to www.thrivingcoachacademy.com slash VIP to get started. I'll see you on the inside.