You are listening to the Life Coaching Secrets Podcast, episode 204. Did you know that life coaches are needed now more than ever?
I'm Frank Macri, founder of Thriving Coach Academy. I've trained over a thousand coaches and helped them launch their own successful coaching businesses. If you want to make an incredible income and impact as a coach, and have a lot of fun doing it i'll show you exactly how to get it done this is life coaching secrets what's up coaches in this episode i'm going to talk about
the experience of success and some of the blocks that even really highly driven people have around becoming successful. So have you ever stopped to think that maybe one of the reasons that. you haven't reached your next level of success isn't because you're not ready or because you're not good enough, but maybe it's because part of you is scared.
scared of what it might cost you or how it might change you or what other people might say. The truth is that success doesn't require just skill or support. It also requires you feeling a sense of safety with your success. And until you feel safe about success, you will unconsciously push it away. So this is huge if you're looking to become a successful coach.
Or if you have clients that have big goals and they may be getting in their own way. I want you to think about what if the fear of your own success could be what keeps you stuck at times. What if it's your mind that's telling you success isn't really safe for you without you even realizing it? So I want to break down in this episode the hidden reasons why success might feel threatening. I want to go over some of the myths that...
might keep people playing small. And I'm going to share with you why it's not only safe for you to feel and be successful, but it's essential for you to feel successful. So that way you can step into the life that you've been dreaming about.
So much focus in the personal development space is on how to... deal with struggle and how to deal with failure and overcome all of that but there's not a lot of focus that's put on success and what the actual experience is like when you have success in your life some people I would say actually most people desire to have more success in their life, but they fear it at the same time. And this will be especially challenging if you haven't identified as a successful person thus far in your life.
So as we get into this episode, I want you to draw a line in the sand. And I want you to invite yourself, as of today, to see yourself as a successful person. Period. Regardless of your achievements, your outcomes, and your results right now, it really starts with you seeing yourself as a success story. And if that seems like a stretch for you to believe that,
then instead try on the thought that you are someone that is capable of success. Success is attainable for you. If you've spent most of your life identifying as someone who struggles or an underdog, then the idea of success can feel unfamiliar and it can even feel disorienting. It might force you to re-examine. how you see yourself and your place in the world. So when you become successful, if you don't see yourself as a successful person, there's this...
This dissonance, this resistance that could happen, which could lead people to unconsciously pull themselves back into old patterns and go back to the struggle that they are so familiar with. So when you grow, it requires that you redefine who you are and not cling to who you used to be. You're not defined by your struggles in life. You're defined by your ability to evolve. So I want to share with you some terms that...
People might label themselves with, but which could hold them back from experiencing success. For example, you might tell yourself, oh, I'm not really a business person or I'm bad with money. If you don't believe that you're a business-minded person, this is going to prevent you from recognizing the gifts that you have that will already make you powerful at running a business and marketing yourself and leading a business.
If you think that you're bad with money, then this might cause you to avoid learning about how money works and how to take advantage of wealth building opportunities. So instead of thinking those thoughts, consider reframing those and thinking that you are someone that's capable of learning and growing as an entrepreneur. You are able to learn how to manage and grow your wealth confidently.
Notice if you have any phrases or your clients say things like, I'm just not the kind of person who makes a lot of money or... who confidently can speak on stage or could be in the spotlight, having these statements can limit you. You want to be careful what you say about yourself because you're the one that's listening. So instead of thinking you're just not the kind of person...
who can achieve great things and become successful? What if you open yourself up to thinking, I am capable of expanding what I believe about myself. I'm capable of opening new possibilities in my life. If you're someone that's thought of, I've just always struggled, you may identify with your struggle in life without even realizing it. Struggle can become a part of your own identity.
And if it does, then success will feel foreign and undeserved. So you might want to start thinking thoughts like, I am shifting into ease, abundance, and new possibilities. Instead of saying, I just always struggled, I'm going to say it once more. I am shifting into ease, into abundance, and into new possibilities. So I want to go over now some of the signs that...
you might be unconsciously sabotaging your own progress. And then I'll go over some of the myths that people believe around success and what's actually true. So firstly, let's go over some of the science that... you might be experiencing some of the key behaviors. Number one is procrastination and perfectionism. So if you find yourself constantly delaying tasks or avoiding opportunities that you know will lead to your own success,
Maybe it's under the guise of you're just waiting for the right time or trying to get something right. You set these impossibly high standards for yourself and it ends up leading to projects never getting done or you're just too afraid to even start them. This could be a way that you're subconsciously preventing you from having success by procrastinating. Another sign is if...
you are undercharging or undervaluing your work, right? If you don't think it's safe for you to be successful, you're going to undercharge for your services or refuse any opportunities that will allow you to earn more because You might be afraid that this may actually cause you to become successful and you don't know how to handle that. Maybe you're afraid that if you are successful, that might also mean that you are greedy or arrogant, which we'll talk more about.
Another sign that you are sabotaging yourself from success is if you're avoiding visibility. So if you are hiding, taking yourself out of opportunities that would allow you to take up more space like public speaking or. putting yourself on social media or networking more. Maybe you are afraid of what might happen if you truly take up space and allow your voice, your story, your message to be heard for people to really receive that.
and see the value in that and you becoming successful. Maybe you're afraid of what you think might come with visibility, which means more eyeballs, more people having judgments about you, you standing out more. So you might not feel like it's safe for you to be visible. Another sign that you might be sabotaging your success is if you are distracting yourself with unnecessary tasks or just doing busy work that doesn't actually move your life forward.
So if you're spending a lot of time on low priority activities, instead of focusing on what you know matters, what you know is truly going to drive your success forward, then this is a sign that you could be holding yourself back as well. A lot of times, like when you get aligned with the thought that your success is inevitable, it's one of my favorite thoughts to have. When you are aligned with that, like fully, you're fully embodying it, your success becomes inevitable.
And if you believe it in your bones, it just effortlessly unfolds. It effortlessly unfolds. But it's all these stories that we tell ourselves that cause us to get in our own way and delay that. success from happening, but inherently your success is inevitable. Another sign that you might have some fears around success is if you are avoiding investing in yourself.
So if you're avoiding investing in yourself in ways that will help you develop personally and professionally, maybe it's by investing in a course or hiring a coach or attending a training, you... You might do this because you're afraid that, uh-oh, if I...
actually invest in myself and grow and become a bigger leader, that means it's going to come along with certain responsibilities. And you might not think that you're ready or worthy or capable of handling such responsibilities. So you may avoid investing in yourself. Another sign is if you are exiting opportunities too early. So it might be quitting a goal that you have or a program or a project. Once you're starting to gain momentum because you might think.
that you're unprepared for the success that's emerging. I want you to understand that even though success is desired by many people, when you start having success, if you don't have... a healthy relationship with success then your success is going to feel threatening to you it'll feel intimidating and you'll do whatever you can to get your success away
to go back to where you were. It's a self-sabotaging behavior that a lot of people go through. So I want to talk about some myths that people have around success that would cause these behaviors that I mentioned earlier. provide you with the truth, what's actually real. So that way you don't feel threatened about success. That way you can lead yourself towards your inevitable success, feeling a sense of safety. So one of the most common...
beliefs that people have around success that caused them to push it away is believing that success is going to make you lonely. So you might, you might think that it's lonely at the top or thoughts like if you become successful.
Other people are going to envy you. You're going to lose friendships. You're going to lose relationships. The people you care about are going to leave you behind. Now think about big goals and dreams you have in your life. You might have everything within you to make it happen. But it could be just one of these beliefs that could hold you back from getting there. Now, the reality is that success is absolutely going to shift certain relationships in your life.
And part of that is it's going to attract new aligned connections. Your true supporters, your true friends, your true family will support you with your growth, right? I always say that your... It's about finding people in your life that love you for not just who you are, but also the person that you're becoming. So when you grow, your environment's going to change, and that doesn't mean that you'll be alone.
Success is going to amplify what's already present in your relationships. Those who genuinely care about you, they're going to celebrate your wins. Anyone who feels threatened by your growth may distance themselves. And that's not about you. You don't have to take that personally. Rather than you seeing it as a loss. View it as an evolution, right? If you've lost somebody who doesn't appreciate or celebrate your success, you've gained space in your life for somebody that will.
So success is going to allow you to attract people who align with your values, your energy, your ambition, and that's going to help you have more meaningful relationships and connections anyway, right? Which is ultimately what you want. It's a good thing. So if your success is going to filter out some people from your life, then let those people filter themselves out. Let's go to the second myth. The idea that success is going to require...
you to sacrifice your happiness and your wellbeing. So you might have heard that you have to grind constantly. You need to give up all your personal time if you want to succeed. The reality is success is sustainable. When you prioritize your self-care, you're able to do this. It's absolutely possible for you to design a life where your success can actually enhance your well-being rather than detract from it.
I will say that when I got started as a coach, before I was having momentum and clients, it was difficult to prioritize my well-being. But now that... I'm well-resourced, have a successful business, have a team to carry on certain tasks within the business. I have more time to take care of myself and work with a personal trainer and go on walks and exercise and play tennis.
invest in my health in other ways that I wasn't able to do before. So what if your success, instead of you thinking like it's going to cause you to put your health at risk, or put your time at risk? What if it's actually going to allow you to gain more of it back, right? When you can prioritize your well-being, set boundaries if you need to. You will allow yourself to enhance the joy, the freedom, the overall satisfaction in your life.
The overall idea that success needs to come at your own expense or like you can choose success or happiness. This is honestly a very outdated way of thinking. It's such an expired way of looking at life. And it's so polarized. Like you can have success.
And you can have amazing health. You can have success and also a ton of happiness and fulfillment. True success is not about burning out at all. It's about actually allowing yourself more space to have fulfillment. And really the most successful people. aren't necessarily the hardest workers. They're the ones who have learned how to work smarter, not harder. I talked about this on previous.
episodes on this podcast. And I've been very transparent with you all that every year of my business, I've noticed that there's been an increase in income, an increase in revenue, an increase in profit. and a decrease in the amount of time that I'm actually spending in the business. So it's been a very interesting indirect correlation because originally I thought that more success meant I was going to have to work more hours.
And that scared me at first. I thought, do I really want to make a lot of money and have a big business? Because am I going to be capable of doing that without burning out? I realized that it is absolutely possible to. have a lot of success by working smarter, not necessarily harder. All right. Another myth that people have around success is that if you become successful,
It's going to cause more problems. So it's the classic phrase, more money, more problems. And this is also, this also does not have to be true for you. This might be true if you have a challenged relationship with money, if you just never really trusted yourself with money.
I have an episode on this podcast called Your Relationship with Money, and I highly recommend you listen to that one if you feel frightened at the idea of having financial responsibilities or decisions that you'll need to make. The truth is that your success is going to, yes, come with a different caliber of challenges, but they're all going to be manageable because you're going to grow into the person who's capable of handling those challenges.
So right now, if you think about if you're not making multiple six figures or you're not making seven figures, you might look ahead to that space and go, wow, I don't really know if I can handle that. But you're forgetting that as you grow to that level of success. you will also be growing as a leader and you will grow into the leader who is capable of handling that success. Okay, so with the right mindset, when you allow yourself to grow.
And also when you have mentorship and community to also support you, you will experience that financial success and realize it's going to provide your life with not more problems, but more freedom. It does not need to become a burden when you have more money. And also, you can always hire professionals like a financial advisor.
You need some help with sorting out finances if you're concerned about anything like that. And when you're making more money and having more success, then you'll have the resources to do that. So knowing that there's also professionals to help you if you are looking for guidance around your...
your money as well but you will grow into the leader that's capable of handling the success next there's the idea that success is going to change who you are for the worse so you might think i'm scared if i become really successful I'm going to become arrogant, greedy. I'm going to be out of touch with others. Or maybe you think you're going to lose sight of your values. And the truth is that success.
doesn't change who you are. It's going to magnify who you already are. So as long as you stay grounded in your values, This is going to ensure that your success is going to align with your authentic self. So if you are already a kind, loving, giving person, success is going to magnify your opportunities and your reach.
in how you can be more loving and kind and giving. So instead of seeing success as like making you from good to bad, see it as taking the good and making it great. It's going to amplify all of the... wonderful existing traits that you have. So if you're already generous, success is going to give you more opportunities to give. If you're already an ethical person, success will allow you to lead with integrity.
All right. So the key is to just remain intentional about who you are, who you choose to be as you grow, and just keep your values at the forefront of your journey. All right, you're going to be just fine. I promise you. Even as you will inevitably evolve as a person, you're going to feel like you can showcase all the wonderful gifts and traits about you.
in an even bigger way. There's plenty of incredible people out there with lots of success. And I encourage you to follow those people, continue to listen to those people, see them as an example for you. People that you see have tremendous success and are also just wonderful human beings that you perhaps align with the qualities and the values that they have. All right, here's another big one.
You might be worried about having success because you think it will attract negative people or it will like make you a target to others. So you may think that people might try to take advantage of you or try to tear you down or criticize you or judge you. And the truth is that, you know, success is when when you become more successful, there's probably going to be more visibility that comes with that. And with that being said.
You are the person that gets to decide who you are and define who you are. Your opinion of you matters more than anyone else. So if someone is projecting their own negativity. then don't make that mean anything about you. What someone says is about them and what you make it mean is about you. This is why it's also so important to surround yourself with those.
who truly know who you are, who see the best in you, who understand your intentions, who know where you're coming from, and who can remind you of that at times when it might be hard for you to remember the truth of who you really are. Also setting clear boundaries with yourself, making sure that you are surrounding yourself with genuine people who support you for who you are and not what you have is also key. And trust.
That you will intuitively be able to do that. You'll be able to feel it. You'll feel those people that are really there for who you are as a person. They appreciate who you are. how much money you've made or the success that you have or the accomplishments that you've created in your life. Like I know the closest people in my life.
The fact that I have a very successful business is just like a cool fun fact about me to them. It's not in any way a reason why they want to spend time with me or have a relationship with me. And those are the relationships that you really want to keep sacred in your life. All right. If you feel like there's negative people that come out, set boundaries. Keep that energy away from you.
And remember, people are going to judge no matter what, right? They're going to judge you whether if you're playing big or playing small. I say this often in the podcast. So show up big. It's always better to have people judge the version of you that's showing up big and fully into your life because they're going to judge regardless. They're going to judge you if you're not successful. They're going to judge you if you're massively successful.
So let people judge the version of you that's massively successful. Wouldn't you rather have that than them judge the version of you that's not? All right. And then also when it comes to visibility. Yes, there might be more opinions and scrutiny that really comes along with having success, but visibility is not the enemy here.
Okay, it's not the enemy at all. It's just a byproduct of making an impact. So there's always going to be a price of admission towards any wonderful results or outcome or goal that we want to achieve in our lives. So it's kind of like if you want to have a successful coaching business, it means that there's going to be a price of admission to get there. Meaning you're just going to be putting yourself out there at times, having some awkward conversations with people.
being more visible, but it's worth it. Like it's worth that price because the outcome you get is a meaningful career impacting others, transforming lives, having financial freedom. Like, yes, it's totally worth the price of admission and any. Any big goal is going to have some kind of price that goes along with it. If you want to have the fit body, the muscles and everything, it's going to require that there's some pain exerted when you're exercising. It's the price of admission.
Okay, so just see this as a byproduct. It's just a natural part of being successful. You have some more visibility. you will survive. It's okay. You will be okay. It is safe for you to be seen. It is totally safe for you to be successful. Focus on... how your success is allowing you to contribute to something greater. Instead of you focusing on people seeing you and you being visible and you being afraid of that.
Put your energy on the lives that you're changing and the contribution that you're making to others, right? Like if I was so afraid of being visible by having this podcast or posting on social media, if I let that prevent me. from sharing myself, then I wouldn't have all the material, all the resources, all these episodes out there. So I focus on you. I focus on the listener, the people that are out there consuming these episodes.
the ways that it's changing their lives, right? All the messages and emails and reviews you've written, it's wonderful. So I focus on that and just gets you right over this. Oh my gosh, what if people hear me and see me and judge me? Focus on those lives that you're transforming. Now, you might also have this fear that success is going to create this pressure on you to maintain it. This one's really interesting, and I've definitely had this at times.
You might think, oh, what goes up must come down. So if I start having success, I need to maintain it or always exceed it. Or like success is temporary. So why even bother? I'm eventually going to lose everything. The truth about success is that it will evolve. It's going to grow at your own pace and you don't have to do everything at once. You don't have to set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Success is going to have.
and natural ebb and flow to it. So you don't have to put pressure on yourself to maintain it or surpass it once it sets in. The fear of losing what you've built or not being able to replicate your achievements can make success feel like a weight rather than a reward. You want to feel rewarded when you have success, not this weight of, oh, now I need to maintain it all the time.
True success is not about constantly chasing the next milestone. It's about evolving at your own pace. Growth is not linear. There's going to be plateaus. There's going to be shifts, ebbs and flows, and none of it means failure. It's just about seeing your success as a lifelong journey rather than this single destination or like this mountain that you've got to constantly climb upward on. It's okay if you stop.
at certain points along your trek up to the peak and know that the peak never ends. It just keeps going. So you might as well enjoy the journey and all the ebbs and flows, right? There's going to be natural. times when if you're thinking about your coaching business, natural seasons when you're going to make more, other seasons where you're going to make less, it doesn't mean that you're suddenly not successful or you've lost all the success that you've created.
months to this day where we might have months where there's much higher income than other months. And I just keep myself focused on the people that I want to support, the resources I want to put out there, the lives that I want to change. So if you think that you always have to be on, that's a recipe for burning out. Sears success is something very fluid. You can go at your own pace. You can redefine it, redefine it. You can pivot as you go. The only rare pressure that.
you experience with success is the pressure that you would be placing on yourself. So there's no reason for you to put any of this pressure on yourself. And I want to end by sharing that. One of the last beliefs that people might have around success.
And that's sometimes this internalized feeling around whether you're really worthy of having success because maybe you grew up thinking that you're not worthy of abundance or happiness or recognition. It might feel like success is a betrayal of... of beliefs that you grew up with which could feel uncomfortable
There might be some messages you grew up hearing like don't outshine others or be humble, which could make success feel very unsafe. A lot of people carry subconscious beliefs that they're not really worthy of success or abundance. This internal conflict is going to lead to self-sabotage. It's going to lead to hesitation. But the truth is, success doesn't take away from anybody else. It expands what's...
So if you've wondered, why should I be successful? Why not other people's? There could even be guilt that comes along with you becoming successful. Your success is taking away from someone else's potential, which is absolutely ridiculous. Success is not a finite resource. So your achievements are not going to prevent others from succeeding.
It's going to inspire others to believe in what's possible. So instead of feeling guilty, shift your focus to using your success as a way to uplift and encourage those around you. You are inherently worthy of being successful. You becoming successful is not going to minimize the contribution that others can make. There's space for all to thrive and be successful.
And by you embracing success, you're going to allow yourself to inevitably receive it. Remember that thought I mentioned earlier in this episode, your success is inevitable and you are someone who deserves success. You are already a successful. All right. That's what I got in this episode. It is safe for you to succeed. If you're enjoying the show, remember to leave a little review.
Write a sentence or two about your love and about the show. And before you go, here's a little snippet from an interview I had with one of our coaches from Inside Thriving Coach Academy. And they're going to share with you some of their tips. for how you can become successful as a coach. So enjoy their story and I will see you in the next episode. My name is Melissa and I discovered coaching when I was going through my own divorce.
realized how I had been in therapy for many years but coaching had its own um its own way of improving my life improving my thought process and so i hired a coach and could not believe how much value i got from it how transformative it was to me and um then decided it's something that i wanted to
get certified in myself so I can help other women that are struggling through divorce. After doing my own research, I realized that this was an incredibly modern up-to-date program with incredibly rich content and great trainers and it was a no-brainer i love absolutely love everything about it um it is incredibly well organized i've never done a program that was so well organized almost to the minute in terms of the calls we do it is just the right amount of
information that you need to know to be an effective coach and the trainers of the team are
incredibly diligent in making sure that we perfect the skills, the art of coaching. And I have a paying client already, which to me was something that I didn't really... have you know i didn't have that in my in my goals until i finished the program so i would say that's a testament to to how well i've been trained so far and i'm not even fully certified yet and that to me was an amazing feeling and amazing when um i realized that people
There are people out there that really value this and see the benefit of being coached through divorce. Frank tells all of his students that are worried about putting themselves out there, would you rather be judged for staying small or would you rather be judged for...
becoming really really big and as i am launching my business as i'm putting myself out there i'm seeing so many possibilities open up um not just within my personal life and how i apply coaching to my personal life but to the amount of people that i can touch with coaching um i'm really excited about getting more one-on-one paying clients and um once i really get comfortable with that i'm
I really, my goal is to run group programs where I help women struggling in specific areas of divorce. I see myself hitting the six figure mark and then growing from there. And with the support of the Academy, I know that I can. expand while still being able to spend time with my family and be an effective single mom. One thing that's also amazing about it is the friends I've made. I've made some really great friends. Everyone is...
On the same path, everyone has very similar values in terms of development and growth. And we all support each other from the trainers all the way down to our peers and our peer coaching group. And another thing that I just want to say, I was incredibly.
blown away by is the mental coaching the the notes we get back are incredibly thorough and i mean every detail is in there so there's just there's just an amazing amount of um camaraderie but then also one-on-one attention that you get as a student in the program.
If someone is considering the academy, but on the fence, the advice I would give you is to 100% go for it. This is not a decision you will regret in your personal life or your professional life. You're going to learn skills that can be. used in any challenge in life, in any business or work you do, in your parenting, this is in your relationships.
This is incredible value for your money. You're going to find yourself growing as a person and you're going to find yourself growing in your professional life. And you're going to come up with a lot of confidence to become the coach that you know you can be. You'll learn our coach's secrets. www.thrivingcoachacademy.com I'll see you on the inside.