You're listening to the Life Coaching Secrets Podcast, episode 196. Did you know that life coaches are needed now more than ever? I'm Frank Macri, founder of Thriving Coach Academy. I've trained over a thousand coaches and helped them launch their own successful coaching businesses. If you want to make an incredible income and impact as a coach, and have a lot of fun doing it i'll show you exactly how to get it done this is life coaching secrets
What's up, coaches? In this episode, I'm going to share a concept that I call yes before how. Before I go into this, I want to just say, wow, it is December. We are in the final month of 2024. If you haven't already known, we are starting our next cohort for Thriving Coach Academy. We're kicking off in mid-January. So get yourself inside the program if you are not already a student. And let's make 2025 the year that you launch your coaching business.
All right, so I'm really excited to dive into this topic for today. So have you ever felt paralyzed by the need to have everything figured out before you took a leap of faith? Well, what if I told you that the most powerful step you can take is to say yes to yourself first. What if I told you that saying yes before you have a plan could be the key to really unlocking your true potential?
I call this way of approaching life, yes before how. And this is a mindset that encourages you to commit to your aspirations before you have a complete understanding. of the steps or of the path needed to achieve them. This is about affirming your goals and dreams and allowing there to be space for you to explore, for you to discover without being held back by the fear of uncertainty.
or by the lack of a fully detailed and elaborate plan. Now this is, this yes before mindset is one of the mindsets that has allowed me to become a seven-figure coach. One example of a time in my life when I feel like I really embraced Yes Before How for the first time was when I graduated college and I decided that I wanted to teach English in China.
Talk about yes before how. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The path in front of me was so unknown. I didn't know much about Chinese culture. I barely knew any Chinese language. And I booked my ticket. I packed my bags and I flew across the world to China and I ended up staying there for two years. There was so much how that was left unknown until I got there and I started to discover and explore. When I look back on that time in my life, it really was one of the most...
fulfilling chapters of my life because it was really a time when I just believed in the yes. I just believed in the voice that was telling me, yes, do it. Take the leap and let the how fall into place. Let everything just fall into place. Take things one step at a time.
So I want you to think about in your life, when has there been a time when you embraced yes before how? When you didn't have a fully detailed plan, but you just decided to say yes anyway, to really embrace the unknown. Maybe you were more spontaneous. Here are some signs that you...
might be struggling with a yes before how. So I'm going to flip it and say, here's what a how before yes sounds like. And this is how unfortunately a lot of people live and it really holds them back. So this is what how before yes sounds like. I can't pursue my dreams until I have a detailed plan in place. I need to know all the steps before I can really commit to this opportunity. Or I can't move forward until I have a foolproof strategy.
People who think how before yes will think I'm only going to say yes when I'm totally confident in my approach. I can't start until I have all the answers, until I've done all the research. Everything's too risky without really knowing. how I'm going to get there. I have to wait until that perfect moment to say yes, once I know exactly how I'm going to proceed. And I can't move forward until I've mapped everything out.
So how much of this sounds like you? Because if it does, then let's put a line in the sand. Let's put a difference between who you were before this episode and who you're going to be beyond this episode. Let's invite the possibility that you can embrace a yes before how mindset. One of the tools that we teach our coaches in the academy is a tool called visioning. And this is how you get your client to really...
get into that yes before how mindset and basically what it entails you doing is you have your client step into the ultimate place they want to be in their life. They don't have to know how they got there. They just have to be there. They just have to know what it feels like, what it looks like to be in that place. That is what gives someone the courage to say yes.
without them having the how and by having the courage to say yes and you take those steps forward the how starts to unfold you actually get where you want to go in your life When you demand to have the how before you're aligned with that yes, it can significantly limit your potential and your ability to pursue opportunities. I'm going to share with you some examples of how having that
how before yes mindset could hold you back. First of all, it paralyzes you by fear. You're so afraid to fail and make mistakes that you just don't go anywhere. You don't take any risk, even if it's a risk that's going to really uplevel your life. you are paralyzed with overthinking, a lot of analysis paralysis. So you're overthinking all the different steps.
that you think will be required to achieve the goal, and that prevents you from taking any action altogether, leading you to be indecisive, having no decision made. It prevents you from having opportunities. It keeps you stagnant. So while you're waiting for this complete roadmap, you're missing out on chances that could really provide valuable experiences or learning moments in your life.
It also reduces your confidence because you're constantly seeking validation through having these detailed plans. This takes away from your confidence over time and the belief in yourself. It's so key to have that. This is going to give you lots more stress and anxiety.
It puts a lot more pressure on you to try to have everything figured out because whenever you try to do that, you just end up having a lot of tension and anxiety. And it causes a lot of people to shy away from challenges when they live their life in this way. So let's talk about what the benefits are of embracing life with a yes before how mindset. It is so empowering, right? When you say yes to yourself, it cultivates the confidence and it also gives you a sense of agency in your life.
It motivates you to take action and pursue your dreams when you say that yes. It also makes you open to new opportunities because you're able to embrace unexpected opportunities that lie ahead or things that might arise along the journey. It allows you to also become more resilient because you're committing to your vision even when there might be challenges, there might be setbacks. You have a positive outlook.
That's going to allow you to be determined and become resilient. So it allows you to be much more resilient and bounce back when you have a yes before how mindset. Like even though when you have a how before yes mindset and you have this plan. When you start to apply the plan and then it doesn't work out because you're so attached to your plan and you don't have confidence in yourself, once a plan falls apart, you're left with nothing.
So you end up just quitting or giving up. But when you have a yes before how mindset and approach to life, you're not attached to the how, right? You're attached to your yes. You know that you're going to be successful. You know that you're going to get where you want to be. And you know that it might take several different hows to get you there, even if they are unexpected hows. Okay, so here are some thoughts that you can have.
about the how that could help shift your perspective so you have more of a yes before how mindset. One thought to have is the how will unfold as I take the first step towards my yes. Another thought is I don't need all the answers. I just need the willingness to start. Another thought is I can embrace the journey of discovery.
Instead of being overwhelmed by the need for a detailed plan. Think about how that sounds. The journey of discovery. You are robbing yourself of the opportunity to discover. what's possible, what you're capable of. When a plan is already laid out in front of you, it's kind of like when you travel and you have a very strict agenda. You're going to go to this area and then you're going to go here. You take away all the opportunities to discover all the little hidden gems.
in the various cities that you're visiting another thought to have is the more i trust the process the clearer my how becomes this is so true One of my guiding mantras that I live by in my life is that I start with yes. I'm going to start with yes. I'm going to figure it out as I go. And I will ask for support as I need it. I'll say it one more time. I start with a yes. Then I figure it out as I go and I ask for support and allow myself to receive it when I need it.
Now, the fearful part of you is the part that's really demanding the how. That's part of the more primitive part of your brain where fear lives. So this is why you want to have a thought. I'm going to give you some more thoughts to have. I choose to say yes, trusting that each step will reveal the next. I don't need to know the how. You just need to know the yes. That's enough for you to take action.
Right now. That's enough for you to take action on right now. That yes. I will embrace uncertainty knowing that I can adapt and grow along the way. Don't forget your human ability to adapt as you go. It's innate. We are put on this planet to adapt and evolve and grow. It is within you. We as humans have adapted to so many unimaginable circumstances over time.
You have the ability to adapt and grow as you go. Another thought to have is, I'll take the leap of faith and I will trust that the path will unfold as I move forward. So think about what difference it might make in your life and what action you might take when you really have a yes before how mindset. Now, here are some powerful questions that can encourage you and also clients to really embrace.
the yes before how. Really invite them to stand by their desires without needing to have all of those answers and all of the plan laid out. One question is, what is your heart truly calling you to do right now? What is your heart truly calling you to do right now? Where are you in your life being called to embrace an unknown? This question can really encourage you and your clients
to connect with some of your deepest desires and aspirations. Another question to explore is if fear or doubt were not holding you back, what would you say yes to? This is such a great question. This is going to help your clients. really free themselves of any limiting beliefs they might have. Another question is, what are you willing to let go of to make room for your yes? What are you willing to let go of to make room for your yes? Another question is what small step could you take today?
to move you closer to your dream, even if you don't know the whole path. What's a small step that you can take today to move you closer? This prompts you to take action while acknowledging uncertainty. You can take action even when circumstances are uncertain. This is what develops your leadership and your resilience. And then finally, one last question is, how will your life change when you decide to say yes?
to the opportunity in front of you. How will your life change when you just decide to say yes to it? This really invites you and your clients to see all of the positive outcomes that come from embracing and pursuing their desires. So you don't need to know the how to be successful in life. You just need to know the yes. That's what you start with. That's enough for you to take action on right now. And when you can embrace this mindset, it will empower you to step into that unknown.
with confidence and excitement knowing that all the details will unfold as you move forward. Every yes that you have, it's a commitment to yourself. Every yes is a declaration of your willingness to explore new possibilities and embrace the journey ahead. So you can trust that as you take those initial steps, you're going to discover lots of insights.
resources and support that will guide you along the way. Trust that that's going to be there for you. When you have the courage to say yes, it's going to open the doors to new experiences that you never imagined. The most profound growth and transformation that you have in your life, it comes from uncertainty. So my invitation for you today is to choose to say yes and take action and trust that the how.
will reveal itself in time. Okay, that's what I got in this episode on yes before how. Before I go, I'm going to leave a snippet from an interview that I had with one of our coaches inside the academy. So you can learn from their experience and also take away some of their tips for how you can become successful as a coach. So enjoy their story and I will see you in the next episode.
My name is Tess Witten Marsh and I'm a mom of two boys and I live in the Pacific Northwest. And I was drawn to coaching actually many years ago, about five years ago, because I found that. In the work that I was doing, I was mentoring people, I was cheering them on, I was supporting them through difficult decisions. I think that one of the biggest setbacks for me had been
That I had been living a life where I thought, well, when I make this much money and I can fully provide for my family, then I'll pursue what is really important to me, what I really feel like my purpose is. And so. I was actually in quite a position this fall where I wasn't fully providing for my family. I had been struggling a little bit with some mental health and I really was just in a position where I felt like.
I've got to jump all in. I've got to stop hesitating and playing small. And I have to really listen to what's brewing inside of me. I think the only hesitation I had was. just really kind of having the internal conversation with myself around, is this the time, you know, can I make this work? Is this the right thing? So I had a lot of those like initial thoughts and doubts, but what really felt.
like in my soul and in my gut and in my heart was so much bigger than all of those doubts. Once I got into that first module, once I was surrounded by other coaches who were working through their own doubts and their own fears and really honoring that. I was with a group of people who were on the same discovery as I am.
who had similar hesitations, who are willing to put in the work, I felt really comfortable. I felt really engulfed in the process of showing up fully, playing big, impacting the lives of others, serving others. And I felt really surrounded by community. But once module one was...
over. I mean, even within like 15, 20 minutes of module one, the sense of community and collaboration was just really profound. There's something to be said about learning the skills of coaching, but the most profound experience for me has been.
actually being coached through the hesitations that I have, the doubts that I have, things that are bigger than me and my coaching business, relationship with parents, relationship with partners, all of these pieces that I'm getting coached on are then influencing how I'm showing up. as a coach, how I'm showing up in pursuing my business. Every chance that I get to just have support in moving forward, it's been phenomenal. Being in a position where I put off.
pursuing coaching for so long, the biggest win that I take away from my experience so far is just the confidence that I'm building in. It's kind of like backing up. this gut feeling that I've had for five years that I, that I should be a coach or that I can show up in the world in a bigger way. It feels inevitable that myself and the other students that I've come so close to are going to.
excel in whatever path they choose. For me, I know and have known for so long that my journey with coaching isn't just about one-on-one coaching. It's about... providing content, workshops, webinars, programs, women's retreats, like the list goes on and on. And I really feel like what I'm learning in the academy and the support that I'm getting, it aligns with that. Frank and the instructors are...
asking us and almost insisting in a way that we play full out, that we dream bigger, that we think bigger. It's like exponential possibility. So for me, I appreciate that because I'm a big vision person and I am a big thinker. And so to be supported in that and to not have this bigger picture that I have for myself be shut down and say, well, you're a brand new coach or wait a few years or it'll take time. Like no one is saying that.
If anything, they're saying, yes, go big, do the thing, create the program. Most programs are going to give you the tools and the basics and then say, good luck. And that is not what we're experiencing in the academy. It's more than I could have ever expected from the sense of building a business and pursuing the business of coaching. And I've built businesses before. I know how to do all the steps, but this is incredibly supportive towards us actually being influential in the world of coaching.
If you are considering enrolling in the academy, I would hands down suggest that you take action. The academy has changed my entire perspective. on what coaching is, how this can become a successful business and opportunity for me. how this can be the vehicle to living the life and pursuing other dreams that I have as a mom and a partner and a community member and what you will receive from the academy.
will blow your mind and will set you up for complete success. The continuing growth and progress and intention behind the content that is given to the students. I don't think you can find that anywhere else. If you know deep down inside that you are put on this earth to serve others and to show fully, get into the program and see for yourself how. thriving coach academy can completely change your perspective and your life.
Hey, would you like access to powerful coaching tools you can use on yourself and clients right away? For being a listener of the podcast, I'm giving you a VIP guest pass to get a sneak peek into my coach training program. to get started. I'll see you on the inside.