Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is important to health as exercise and good food. Hey everybody, Doctor. Diane, your libido doc here. Welcome back to another episode of the lounge. I'm so excited to have you today. We're talking about the top three most major root causes of a low libido. And if you're listening to this and you're like, well, I don't even know for sure if I have a low libido. Is my libido low?
Make sure you go back to earlier episodes of this podcast where I talk about that, or you can just head over to libidoquiz.com and take my free libido quiz, which is gonna tell you it's gonna go through a research based questionnaire about if your libido is actually low, so you'll learn. And if it is, then it's gonna take you through a second part of the quiz, which is going to tell you the top likely root causes.
Also, I'll include in my show notes information to my post about wanting to want it, and make sure you look out for my book coming out later this year called want to want it, where we're gonna go into all of these topics in much more depth and detail. So let's talk about the top root causes. So the top three root causes are physical, personal, and interpersonal.
And so those are the thought top categories as far as why we are not having that charged up libido, why we're not having that passion, why we kind of lost some of those juicy, yummy feelings. So we're gonna talk in more detail what do those mean. So let's break this down for you guys. So physical reasons for low libido are commonly sex hormones, the most commonly known one, and it's really common.
Like, I work with a lot of people that are hormone specialists, and they send a lot of their clients to me because a very common thing that will happen is hormones will get balanced, which is amazing. We can feel so much better when hormones are balanced. And while it can fix some people's libido, and it can turn on that passion, for many people, they get their hormones balanced, and then it's like, well, I don't have my want it back. Right? What's happening?
And so that's why people get referred to me because there's while hormones are very, very known for supporting a healthy libido and absolutely important for libido in so many areas to keep your hormones balanced, it doesn't always fix things. And by hormones, I'm talking about estrogen, progesterone, DHEA, cortisol, those adrenal hormones, and your thyroid hormones. Right? So there's a lot wrapped up in that hormonal picture. So that's one thing.
Cardiovascular is another thing that we'll put under the physical root cause category. So cardiovascular issues for low libido really are related to blood flow. So one of the things you may have heard me talk about, because I like to say this a lot, is low libido oftentimes is the first sign of a cardiovascular problem. Cardiovascular problem is the leading cause of disease worldwide, and low libido is oftentimes an early warning sign. I learned this from amazing cardiologist, doctor Joel Kahn.
And so essentially, from, you know, thinking about that, we think about that oftentimes with men because men with erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular issues are oftentimes tied up with that. But with women, the whole thing with women is that we also have cardiovascular root causes preventing blood flow, preventing that erectile tissue from getting in gourd, preventing lubrication, and, typically, preventing pleasure. So that's a major root cause, nervous system. Right?
So having that right signal from your brain to your erectile tissue from the nerves to get you turned on is also a major thing. And then the fourth category is stress. So stress, I did mention actually some of the hormones in the the hormone section of this doc already. So stress is cortisol and and DHEA are those two major stress hormones, But stress is a huge, huge, huge, usually decline, usually breaks for most people libido.
There's occasionally people, and doctor Emily Nagoski talks about this, in her work, in her study on libido, where stress can be an accelerator. Right? So sometimes when people get stressed, they get revved up. For most people based upon the chemistry of our brain and how our the chemistry of our brain affects our genital response, that we actually see that that stress is, for the most part, a down, it turns down that libido. So those are all the top physical root causes. There's others, right?
Anything that can inflame us, toxins, for example, definitely can impact libido. Certain toxins like BPAs, for example, are known to be endocrine disruptors that can disrupt our hormones. So there's there's other, like, sub sub sub categories. Right? And we could go very, very deep down some rabbit holes here, which I do love to do, and I do teach people, but one thing at a time. As far as, like, the physical stuff from the physical tier, those are some of the top causes.
Now, some of the second category we have is the personal. So the personal category of root causes for libido, I've talked about throughout this podcast in pieces, but I haven't really framed it this way for you guys to understand it. So the personal root causes are going to be things like confidence, clarity, right? So from a clarity standpoint, do you really know the difference between your needs, your preferences, your desires? Right? Do you really know, like, oh, wow.
You are not gonna enjoy not gonna be able to get into your body if you don't have ten minutes of soft touch ahead of time. You know, I know couples that start sex every single time with a trading off of massage because they know that's a need to get them into the moment. Right? So do you understand what needs to truly needs you have in order to be turned on, in order to enjoy it? Do you know your preferences of, like, well, it's not a need, but if we can do this, I really like it.
Do you know your turn offs? And so much of the time, we are so programmed by what society says that sex is, that we don't really understand our own needs, wants, preferences, desires.
So that's a huge thing under the personal root cause, and this is where sometimes the concept that a lot of us in the sex world talk about is like having the wrong type of sex comes up is because if we don't know our needs, preferences, wants, and desires, and we're just kinda going for it, we might have we might be having sex in a way that is actually not really turning us on, that is not feeling good. And frankly, if it's not doing those things, it's not very motivating to go back for more.
Right? Let's just face it. So when we really get into our needs, wants, preferences, and desires, what we begin to do is we have a personal relationship with, Oh, this is the right type of sex for me. This is a type of sex. This is type of intimacy. This is type of touch. This is type of love that really helps me keep coming back to more, you know, more and more and more. Some of this also from a personal standpoint is making sure we have good pelvic health and pelvic tone.
You know, it's amazing when we are doing proper weightlifting for our vagina, when we're doing proper Kegel exercises for our vagina, these sorts of thing as women. And also for men, when you are doing exercises to actually keep the musculature of your cock strong, all of these different things can actually make a big difference in the process of sexuality and enjoyment.
Like, for men, you know, a lot I know a lot of men that have, like, gone through, like, David Davis program, for example, and really have worked to control orgasm and really have worked to edge, you know, that process where you're getting close to orgasm and you pull it back and you're getting close to pull it back, which makes things last longer, which also can bring a lot more pleasure bidirectionally. Right?
And so these are some of the practices though on a personal level of, like, have we just like going to a gym? Have we actually done the work to make sure our pelvic floor is strong, to make sure our muscles are strong? Have we actually done any internal work?
Because one of the things from a personal root cause is if the muscles of whatever, you know, anatomy you have, if you're if the muscles are not working super well, if they don't know when to contract or they're so contracted because we actually hold so much tension in our pelvic floor that they're not able to relax appropriately, guess what? That's where we can get pain. That's where it doesn't feel good. That's where oftentimes we can have a difficult time orgasming.
So when we're actually doing things from a personal standpoint, even like internal massage for women that we can do ourselves using fingers, using sexual massagers. There's actually professionals that even help with that sort of thing doing pelvic floor release techniques. Right? So we can actually start getting the the tissue functioning well. That also falls under the personal root cause category. We can go deeper and deeper in this, of course.
There's also the ability to, you know, know and understand how to begin to communicate. There's also the concept I talk about in this work of the five sexual types that I have defined. Right? And we talk about that in other videos, so make sure you go listen to that. But essentially, remember the five sexual types are kind of like the five sexual languages. And the concept of sexual languages is really to say, okay, just like the love languages. Right?
Just like Gary Chapman coined the love language, you know, title. The sexual languages are essentially these these ways, these types, these typologies of how we show up and how we show up into sexuality in our best self. Right? So that's another important thing. Okay. Now beyond that, we have interpersonal. So this is the third root cause here. So if you want to want it, we want our physical, personal, and our interpersonal to all be turned on, revved up, super juicy.
So interpersonal is about how we relate to our partner. Do we know their sexual type? Have we talked to them? Right? Have we actually communicated to them about our own personal needs, wants, desires, preferences, and vice versa? Do we schedule sex? Do we schedule our, as I call them, our intimacy escapades? Right? We have our physical intimacy escapades, and we have our emotional intimacy escapades. Do we explore those?
Have we have we done things with those as far as scheduling them and having sacredness around those times? Right? So all of that falls in the interpersonal. And so we don't know our body. We don't know our partner's body, and we're not communicating about the uniqueness of our own body. We aren't teaching ourselves to do this, and we're not prioritizing each other. And we're not being open to the novelty of how to create passion that I've already talked about on this podcast.
That's where we can really begin to fall away from the the desire and the wanting to want it. So really in wanting to want it and what you're gonna be seeing throughout this year and and later on this year as I get my book out, and I don't have an exact date yet, but please do take the libido quiz and, learn about, you know, your own, you know, your own root causes here because I'm going to be doing so much cool promotional stuff and giveaways and supportive stuff for you around my book launch.
So definitely get, you know, get on that libido quiz so that will help us stay connected so I can make sure to keep you posted on all those cool offerings as I have my want to want it book coming out later this year. And that's really it. So from there, the next thing for you is to go take the libido quiz to to learn about some of these root causes.
The libido quiz quiz really focuses just on that physical side of things, but then also continue to look, you know, look through this material to continue to follow me because I'm gonna continue to give you insight into not only these root causes, but what you do about them. So stay tuned for more with me on the libido lounge very, very soon. Make sure you do subscribe and share this with your friends. So you know when all the juicy episodes are coming out. I can't wait to help you even more.
This is doctor Diane. Again, thank you for listening to another episode of the Libido Lounge, and I'm reminding you to always stay sexy, always stay classy, and always remember to be a little badass y. See you next time and keep for listening to the libido lounge. Please don't keep me a secret. Please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.