You get to experience different types of pleasure. The clitoral orgasm feels different than a cervical orgasm. Feels different from a g spot orgasm. Feels different from an anal orgasm. One of the things that's unique about the cervix is it has three of those major nerve pathways that run through it. I think what's really unique about the cervix and other zones internally is it's like the cervix requires so much stillness and slowness.
I think probably more so than maybe any other region in the body in order for it to unfurl. And that is such a great actual spiritual concept of like here's this is like where sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forces us to settle into the moment, into presence, to be sensitive, to pay attention, to to measure what's happening in the system, and you can't do that if you're going fast. Or if you have a goal, like I'm trying to get somewhere.
One of the principles of tantra is we're going so fast, it's hard to feel the the moment that we're in and, you know, we use that word presence a lot. But what does it even mean to be present? It really means, like, we have these five fabulous senses. Right? So we've got these doorways to the present moment. So which doorway is, like, the one for you? Hey, everybody. Quick break at our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, My Libido Doc.
One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just have to learn how. So head over to our site to get your free copy of our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing Orgasms and Romance. Get quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner. So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that e book there for download. Now back to our show.
Hi, Lounge members and listeners. I am so excited for another episode on our podcast. I'm doctor Diane, your board certified sexologist and libido doctor, and I have a treat for you today, everybody. We are talking about all sorts of things. We're talking about cervical orgasms, we're talking about how to master male sexual energy, we're talking about the women's arousal map and how this map can actually expand pleasure, orgasms, and so many more things.
And we're gonna get into all sorts of things in part two of the exclusive content as well. We're gonna talk about things such as how to have non ejaculatory orgasms for males, how to use tantra and energy and other forms of ancient traditions to bring your pleasure, heighten your pleasure, heighten your closeness connection, use sex for healing, for connection to God and energy and whatever you call that force, and so much more.
So here, to help us with our journey, I have two special guests, and new friends of mine. I have Leah Piper and Doctor. Willow Brown. So welcome to the Libido Lounge, you two. I'm so happy to be here with you. Likewise. Yeah. Such a pleasure, doctor Diane. We're excited. I'm happy to have you. So let's let's jump in. Let's let's start with this cervical orgasm question and component.
And I feel like, like in unpacking cervical orgasms, I feel like we have to unpack a few things because I think one thing is, okay, what are cervical orgasms? How do they differentiate between, you know, say other types of orgasms? And then I think this is a very scary thing for a lot of women, especially because I know many women when they've had deeper types of penetration, it can be painful.
You know, like the cervix is not touched much other than our gyno exams and childbirth And the Or be vague up against when someone's Yeah. Trading you too deep too soon. Yeah. Exactly. So let's talk, like, high level. Let's start with, like, cervical orgasms. Why should we even care? Leah, do you wanna give us a head start? Well, one of the things that's so powerful about them is they have three nerve pathways that carry three different types of pleasure up to the brain.
You have the hypogastric nerve, you have the pelvic nerve, and you have the vagus nerve. Now, these nerves are also found in other erogenous zones. So, what's really cool about female pleasure is that when you stimulate these different areas that are erogenous zones that are connected to different nerve plexuses, you get to experience different types of pleasure. The clitoral orgasm feels different than a cervical orgasm. Feels different from a G Spot orgasm. Feels different from an anal orgasm.
So one of the things that's unique about the cervix is it has three of those major nerve pathways that run through it. So it's a very profound type of release. It's often a full body release. And because the Vagus Nerve runs through it, it has an ability to really open your heart. You know, the Vagus Nerve is the wandering nerve and it's the only nerve plexus that runs up the front of the body to the brain. These other nerves run through the spine.
And so, when we talk about the vagus nerve and its pleasure potential, people will liken it to the crygasm, or to the heartgasm. So, there's something very unique about the cervical orgasm that opens up these vulnerable centers. So women often are so touched and overwhelmed by the pleasure that arises here that they they cry. They're like melting. There's a feeling of transcendence.
And also because it is a very sensitive place that is often felt beat up with too much friction, there's a particular type of touch that's slow, that's more of a thumping, that is required for the cervix to really open up to deeper pleasure. And I would just add that it also requires a higher level of arousal, because when we're at peak levels of arousal, the cervix and the uterus actually contract upward, making more space for deeper penetration.
Which is why when we're getting banged too fast, too deep, too early, we're not at a proper arousal level for that to feel good. So there's lots of, like, nuances to achieving this type of climax. Yeah. And one thing I would add is well, I would add some things, but one thing that comes to mind off the top of my head is, like, this is really the the full Harris Gamos union, like, the masculine and feminine coming together.
Because if if you're in a heterosexual experience with a cervical orgasm, the the glands, the head of the penis, which is synonymous to the heart center, your the the penis has all this reflexology on it, and so does the vagina, has all this reflexology throughout it according to Taoism. And so when you're when you've got that gland way back in and and connecting either energetically or physically with the cervical os, that's where the heart region is for the female as well.
And so you're really that's why also a reason, not the vagus nerve, yes, but also because of this reflexology of these sexual organs. And so when that when that opening starts to happen, it's like you you drop out of the dualistic mindset.
You drop into this, state of oneness, and that vagus nerve keeps that oneness, like, rising all the way through the belly, through the gut, through the heart, through the throat, and, really expands the experience, of of what it means to be present in the moment and to be in a state of powerful potent receptivity.
Because when we're looking at the physical, aspect of this nerve, the vagus nerve, you know, it's running right through the yin channel, right through that receptive channel in your body. So there's there's all these amazing physical components to the cervical orgasm, and there's all these esoteric and and sort of more metaphysical components to it as well.
And, one thing that I've really had to, train myself and and kind of come to with experiencing these types of orgasms is that I I'm the one moving. I'm the one in charge, the the penis owner or the dildo or whatever it is. It needs to just be still and steady, not a lot of movement, maybe some energetic pulsing.
But because of the sensitivity of the cervix, I've got to kind of find that that tip and find that meeting point and then just kind of massage my cervical os around it so that it can start to spread and open. And they say in Taoism, you know, wombgasms are the highest form of superior orgasms that we could have, and the cervical orgasm is basically a wombgasm.
It's just it's reverberating the you know, the cervix is the nose of your womb, so it's gonna reverberate up through that entire organ, which is very much connected and related to the heart. Again, why we get these deep, emotional, powerful releases when we're able to experience those kinds of orgasms.
Yeah. I think it's there's so much to be said about the awe, and then I feel like the awe when I read stories about other people that have had these it's like the most common story I hear is like the awe. And that's certainly my own experience. I remember the first time I had one of these orgasms, it was almost like it was like so out of body, meaning like dissolving into nothingness. That the only other time I've really achieved that is through, like, the depths of meditation around.
But it's, like, very different than that, but there's still a similarity of, like, dissolving into that that nothingness and really connecting to something so far beyond our body. So in, like, in beginning to experience, for women that are like, okay, and and their partners that are beginning to experience wanting to work with us, you've I think you've said some good things already, like, we have to go slow.
We have to allow for that time, for that vaginal lengthening, like, what you're saying around maybe you being, you know, the female being more in control and, like like, controlling the points of the cervix that's maybe being touched and and, stimulated. Beyond that though, are there any other tips that you have?
And especially if, like, people are used to this, like, deeper penetration where it's like, ow, that hurts, and their only other memory of their cervix being touched is through other painful experiences like pap smears and childbirth. If there's this history, like, wow, there's like like like, this does not feel awesome.
Do you have advice on, like, where to start and how to actually, say, unwind the cervix or as, you know, as some people say, relax the cervix, or start to deep pattern the cervix, so that it actually can experience this type of pleasure? Yeah, one of the techniques that I often use working with people is, is this a visual podcast or is it only audible? Yeah. Okay. So, if you could see my hand, I'm kind of making a cone shape with my fingers pointing down.
And so, you can go inside and with either one finger or two, you gently caress the cervix and you're just feeling and melting the tissue. You're going really really slow, you're noticing the shape. Some women will feel bruising, even like indentations where the cervix is actually a little misshapen. Even if someone's cervix has been removed, you can imagine that you're gently stroking very slowly the shape of the cone.
And you go around the front, and you go around the back, and then you come lower, and lower, and lower, until you're massaging the tip. And, you're just letting that person feel, breathe, and experience any emotions that are stuck in the tissue. Because when you've had unconscious touch, or you've had a traumatic experience, like let's say you had a really challenging birth, the cells in the tissue are holding all that memory and we need help unwinding.
So this is true of a lot of various erogenous zones vaginally. Just because we have it, doesn't mean that it's immediately awakened. We actually have to bring conscious touch, conscious energy, conscious attention, conscious sensitivity, conscious emotion through our hands to the tissue to allow some unwinding of this woman's journey of having a vagina and like, have a deep breath, have a moment that's just for her, to catch up to everything she's gone through.
To have someone, you know, bear witness, even if she's the one that's doing it to herself. Can I just feel myself right now? And can I pay can I be very present to each sensation? And you can find hot spots, burny bits, and owies, and bruises, and and heat, and different temperatures, and I know for me, there's been times too.
Yeah. Was just gonna say the broken glass phenomenon, where you feel shards, and you just need to breathe through that, and I always think of it as it's you're unfurling a flower, and so you just peel back one level of discomfort, and you find out, well, what's underneath that, and then you do another layer, and another layer, and eventually, you'll get to your pleasure. Mhmm. Yeah. It's not always orgasmic right off the right off the tip. Rarely. Yeah. Orgasm. With the cervical orgasm.
Yeah. Very rarely. It's more I love that, you know, flower analogy that Leah just gave us because it really is like an unfurling and puddle by puddle. And, you know, I think if you are going into a sexual experience with the agenda to have a cervical orgasm, you're probably not gonna have one. Good luck. It can be similar to Amrita where it's like these, you know, certain phenomenons that happen through a female body, they they are they are mysterious in nature, and they come when come.
And so it's more just to really, like, dropping into the receptivity and staying present. That was a really key thing that Leah just pointed to is, you know, just like, what what is this this sensation right here, and what does this sensation require of me in order to really be with it? Because this sensation reminds me of the time I was molested by my uncle when I was four years old, and that's not a comfortable place to go to in my body or in my mind.
But if I don't unfurl that pedal, I'm not most likely not gonna get to my pleasure. And I would just add, just a quick break to let you know that eighty percent of women do not have orgasms from vaginal intercourse alone.
So many people are not having the type of sex that is healing, brings them closer, that brings them more connected, that is full of so much pleasure and passion that it can build bones, reduce stress, help serotonin, bring happiness, lower anxiety, improve sleep, and build a better connection with your partner. That is what hot and modern monogamy is, is modern monogamy that brings in all of that path.
I think what's really unique about the cervix, and other zones internally, is it's like the cervix requires so much stillness and slowness. I think probably more so than maybe any other region in the body in order for it to unfurl.
And that is such a great actual spiritual concept of like, here's this is like where sacred sex really gets its juice, is it forces us to settle into the moment, into presence, to be sensitive, to pay attention, to measure what's happening in the system, and you can't do that if you're going fast. Or if you have a goal, like, I'm trying to get somewhere. This is really about curiosity and a quieting. So it take it requires a meditative skill set to be able to be that still.
Yeah. And another thing I wanna say just from the experience of it for for years now is even after doing it for years, I I still experience discomfort on my way to the pleasure. You know? It's like, I have to find that place inside where I'm like, okay. There we are. We're connected now. We're in we're in union. Now we're gonna be in the chi of that union. But for me, it feels itchy and burny and uncomfortable.
And, yeah, there's a place inside of me that wants to go away from it and resist it, but there's another place inside of me that knows the value of going into the sensation and into the feeling. And even, you know, after, like I said, after years of doing the practice, it it doesn't mean I'm going right to it in this, you know, year full of pleasure. Like, I still have to work my way through because, you know, life keeps happening, and and we keep storing stuff, issues on our tissues.
And so we have to really continue to unfurl moment by moment. Yeah. One of the thing you guys have said so many things I love. Like, one of the things I really find so much in my work is that what what's happening in our intimate life is a mirror in many ways for, like, the expression outside of our intimate life.
And and I think in in life, we're so often, like, just, like, trying to get out of the uncomfortable sensation as fast as possible, whether we feel sad or something or angry about something or, you know, disappointed or whatever the emotion we're feeling. And what tends to happen is, like, those feelings don't go away. We just shove them under the rug and then they come up in some other weird icky way.
And, yeah, I think, like, the exploration of the cervix is such a great analogy for, like, practicing You know, we practice a thing out of the bedroom that actually refers us back to the bed bedroom and vice versa. And this ability to sit with like, okay, what is this feeling? What is this discomfort? And just sit there and allow whatever feeling it is to have a space and have a voice and have a feeling is an amazing way to just get it to soften and move on.
So I'm curious too, especially with, you know, the work around tantra and breath work, and knowing that we had these connections from our wound space to a heart and even up to our pineal gland and to our crown, have you seen then other things such as any sort of tantra practice, breath work practice, anything else help to suck in the cervix and Oh, for sure. Pressure at all? All of that.
Like, sounding and breathing and knowing how to run energy through your yang meridian, your yin meridian, you know, all the white tantra that we have our students practice. It really comes into a red tantra experience where you're potentially with a partner, you know, and playing with how to expand your capacity to feel sensation. Right? If it's often if we're feeling pain, whether it's emotional or physical, we contract and we don't expand.
So, you know, I think one of the beautiful things about tantra is that we get to expand into all of it, the good and the bad, the the yummy feelings and the challenging feelings. And that is how we get to, you know, begin to live a tantric life where it's like, okay. Yeah. Here's this challenge. Can I expand into it? You know, here's this beautiful thing. Can I open even wider into it? And so, you know, going slow one of the principles of tantra is is slow down. You know?
Because we we in order we're going so fast, it's hard to feel the the moment that we're in. And, you know, we use that word presence a lot, but what does it even mean to be present? It really means, like, accessing the sensations in your body, and we have these five fabulous senses. Right? So we've got these doorways to the present moment. So which doorway is, like, the one for you? For me, it's my ears. You know?
Auditory. Like, if I can really just listen to a single chirp of a bird in a moment, I'm not in the past, I'm not in the future, but I'm receiving that sensation. So that's another thing that our senses do is they drop us into receptivity, which is, I like to say, the feminine's greatest superpower. You know? And it's not one that's valued or honored or taught in our society, so we have to cultivate that on our own.
So all of the the the Taoist practices, the white Tantra practices, all of that will really come in handy, as we are in that moment with our cervix and the awakening. Yeah. I would say that if I could only teach one Tantric thing to help women become a master lover, it would be having educated pelvic floor muscles.
Because when you are aware and connected, and so for some people, kegel kegels will be maybe a more familiar terminology, it's doing so many things to build awareness and to build subtle movement.
So when you have muscular knowledge and control over these different muscles in your pelvic floor, meaning, you know how to separate the anal sphincter muscles from the pubic coccygeus muscle from the lower abdominal recti muscles, which, we basically all know how to do that, just someone has to point it out to us. Then you can start to play your vagina or your yoni like a three string instrument, and it builds subtle movement.
So it's one of those things that you can do to make shifts in how you feel yourself internally, in juxtaposition of feeling someone else's attention inside of you. And it's also when you when you're squeezing those muscles and you're relaxing them, just like everything else in life, it has an expansion and a contraction, just like our heartbeat. It expands, it contracts. So we are a series of expanding and contracting throughout every sector of our life, including the operation of our system.
So when you can play your yoni, and really feel those separation of muscles, in a subtle movement, or even a greater, more dramatic movements, you're bringing fresh, oxygenated blood to the tissue. That's going to give you more sensation. You're bringing awareness, which means you'll start to have, attunement between your mind, having a mind body connection, and what's happening within your vagina.
You can shift by contracting, you can pull your cervix up, by hyper relaxing you can allow your cervix to drop down. So, I really love taking people through a meditative process that brings them into a very deep, close relationship with their pelvic floor. And then lastly, to me, it's like a Shakti, juicy pump. And so if people want a more spiritual connection to their body, it's one way that women can really start to harness that these aren't just the dirty bits. This is my superpower.
I'm connected to the everything here. And when I flex and relax my pelvic floor, I am juicing up my sexual energy so that I'm more creative, so I have a juicier life, and so that I'm in control of my turn on. And so, as you start to have these educated muscles, you can get so masterful with them, that that's all you need to do to bring yourself to orgasm, is just pulse and release that pelvic floor. And so, you know, basically every courtesan since the beginning of time knew that.
It's kind of a parlor trick, but it's so much more than that.
Well, another thing I wanted to add with what your you ladies are both saying is, when we're talking about, you know, these five senses, and we're talking about everything to, like, bring yourself someone's body and feel these things, and even when you're talking about the pelvic floor and contracting and control, to me, the other thing that I I've been exploring exploring a lot lately is, like, how much doing all these things actually triggers our bodies to know it's safe.
Because when we're in, like, a fight or flight, which I think a lot of people are in, and we have traumas, we have triggers, all these things, we can't be in fight or flight and tune into the subtleties of our body and the contractions at the same time. Right? So I think that that with that that Very true. For, you know, for safety in order to go deep, this is also the path for that. Yeah. It's a way of telling your tissues, it's okay to be in pleasure. It's okay to relax.
It's okay to experience joy. Yeah, it's also okay to be afraid. Like, can you stay present in the fear, you know, of being, I don't know, I want you to see this side of me. I'm afraid you're gonna think I'm ugly when these emotions arise, like, you know, you can be there for yourself in the rage that needs to release because you've suppressed it for twenty five years. I mean, sometimes that's something that's blocking your biggest, most outrageous pleasure. Exactly.
Which is why it's so good to have a partner holding space for you. Yeah. Because when you are in that fight, flight, or free state, you can have someone bring you back, and say, hey, where'd you go? What's your feeling's okay? Don't go anywhere, stay with me, you don't have to feel it alone. It really takes some of that feeling of isolation out of these fight, flight, or freeze responses, when you've got someone who's holding you through it. Yeah. Exactly. Oh gosh.
I could talk to you ladies forever, and I wanna make sure we have time to talk about you guys have a really cool pilgrimage coming up to Greece, as well as an amazing adventure, a sex reimagined adventure to help people really get to their desires and their unspoken questions and all these things. So I wanna talk about that, and we're gonna talk about that in a moment. And, just to remind everybody, we're gonna go even deeper here with doctor Willow and Leah in our exclusive content.
We're gonna talk a little bit about the women's arousal map. We're gonna talk about non ejaculatory orgasms for men, which I always know is a hot topic. So we're gonna talk about that, so look for that in the exclusive content below. But let's talk before we do that. Tell us a little bit about this pilgrimage you guys have coming up. Oh, we're so excited. Talk about awakening the the divine feminine within.
We're taking a a group of women to Crete, which is an island in Greece, and that particular island is really connected to the divine feminine, connected to the goddess. The Minoan culture there is very alive and well and thriving. So ancient culture, very much connected to the the Gaia and the primordial goddess, right, and, like, the original goddess. Of course, we know there's all those great amazing Greek goddesses with their archetypes.
So we'll be playing with some of that, but mostly, we'll be there cultivating our own chi. We'll be doing yoni mapping. We'll be doing yoni witnessing. We'll be doing sacred spot release on each other. We'll be really holding each other in sisterhood as as as this deep sexual awakening occurs. And we'll be doing yoga and qigong at the sacred temples and going to the beach and the gorges and really cultivating the chi of that island into our systems and into our bodies.
So it's gonna be a great opportunity for women to just unplug from life and reset their nervous systems to a whole new path ahead. I'm really excited. Yeah. Sounds like such an amazing place for, like, growth and learning, but also just for community and balance and healing and recalibrating. So, we'll have all of that information on how to sign up you guys in the show notes. And then tell us about your adventure package. Yeah. So we have a free gift for your audience.
If they go to sexreimagined.com/adventure, they can pick one of three free tantra trainings. You can do something around sexual obstacles if you're struggling with, let's say, ejaculatory control, or being able to feel your female orgasms, that's a great training. It's totally free, most of the trainings have about three to five tutorials. We've got another section on sexual healing, and then another one on intimacy and communication. And if you want all three, we won't stop you.
You can also get all three. So head over there and, and get started. You can practice tantra tonight. Yes. Yeah. We can start with baby steps. Right? And it's like so many little ways to start making big shifts, and all it takes is just taking that first step and getting started. So I hope everybody will take doctor Willow and Leah Leah up on these amazing offers. I hope you'll also check out our exclusive interview with them in part two found in the content below.
And everybody, it's been so great to have you listening to another episode on The Lounge. We'll see you all very soon, and thank you ladies both for being here with me today. Oh, what an honor. Thank you for having us. Thank you. Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge. Please don't keep me a secret. Please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.