Welcome to the libido lounge where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is important to health as exercise and good food. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode on the libido lounge. I'm your host, doctor Diane, libido expert, and I have a juicy episode in store for you all today. I have with me Anna Lee, one of the founders of the Lioness vibrator, and let me tell you before we get started that this is not your usual vibrator.
Before we get started to any of these details and all of the juicy topics of today's conversation, I wanna remind you that what I've seen in research and my own clinical experience is that vibrator use can help with things like pain, pain with sacs, numbness, pelvic floor dysfunction, also with helping people reach better orgasms, longer orgasms, vaginal dryness, connecting with their partner, and so many more things.
So we're really seeing more and more the the use of vibrators, not just as pleasure toys, which, of course, they are, but also as ways that we can truly heal so many areas of sexual imbalance. So we're gonna talk today about this very, very special vibrator. We're gonna talk about what made Anna really come up with this unique idea. And so let's just first with saying hi. So welcome, and thank you for being part of this show today with me. Yeah. Thanks for having me.
That's such a lovely introduction. Well, what your product is amazing, and I think we should set the stage before we get into the nitty gritty of, like, kind of the the, you know, the fun behind the product is let's talk a little bit about what makes this, you know, unique compared to other products out there. I'll share with the audience my experience. I'd love to hear about your experience with this product.
But you could tell us about, like, why this is not a normal standard vibrator and what makes it different. Yeah. I would say, like, it does look like a normal kinda quote, unquote typical vibrator. It's a rapid style vibrator, but it's the first and only smart vibrator that gives you biofeedback data about your own pleasure and your own orgasms.
So we always like to say it's almost like a Fitbit or an Oura Ring, but for your sexual pleasure to help you understand what's working, what's not, what's making it better, what are things that are changing that you might not be aware of until you start tracking and understanding that self, body part of your body and getting that orgasm data about your own body.
And that's exactly, you know, what I have found in my own use with this around like, I've been a fan of vibrators for a long time, decades now. And what I have found in the short time I've been using your vibrator for no. I guess it's been about, like, three or four weeks now. And one of the things that I have found so quickly with this is it's very interesting in comparing it to, like, a Fitbit where it's like, oh, you get data. Right? And it's like, okay. Well, maybe you get 8,000 steps.
And it's like, oh, there's that motivation to go walk because you're there's, like, this almost like this dopamine exchange with the body where when we get that feedback, it creates this motivation cycle where it's actually I've seen one of the the things I saw very, very quickly was even though I do have a pleasure practice already in my life, it's actually increased the amount of time I am spending in pleasure with myself and with my partner.
And I and and I think what's happening is just, like, seeing that data and getting that feedback, I'm like, oh. I'm like, it makes me more curious to go deeper and learn more. So I'm actually finding, like, one of the things I have found so quickly is that it's actually making me more committed to my my practice of self care and pleasure. That's incredible. Yeah. I would say exactly the same thing.
I, I was I tell people all the time before we start the company, I was so scared of my own body, and I was very much like like, maybe I would master it, but never think twice about, like, well, what made it a good experience? What did I like? What did I don't didn't like?
And so for me, Linus as well, like, getting that data was, like, a big part of me getting to slowly understand my body from a physiological standpoint so that I could embrace my sexuality, sensuality, and feeling more comfortable with my own body. So I think you hit the nail on the head. It it really is a thing of taking the time to actually understand what your pleasure means to you versus just being like, okay. I'm done.
Like, I'm moving on to doing other things, but actually giving ourselves to say, like, knowledge is pleasure. I'm curious, and too, in, like, people that you work with that have used as product and partnership, and I know, you know, you talk about this in some of the literature that comes with your product around your partner play. Right?
Because I think one of the things that happens so oftentimes with partners is we get stuck in our sexual scripts, and it can sometimes be hard and challenging for partners to get out of that. And sometimes the use of a vibrator in partner play can even be intimidating for people in the beginning.
But, like, what I'm, what I'm seeing with this is a lot of potential around, oh, it becomes, like, more around like like like an easier thing to bring a partner in on because there's that direct feedback with, oh, like, oh, this pleasure spot is really working to arouse this you know, my partner. And then we're getting more of that direct feedback, so I think it can bring people into being more creative together and playing together in a different way.
So I'm just I'm curious to see, like, to hear what you've seen in talking to people that have used this for partner play. Yeah. I I always I always say, like, you know, I think a lot of people see vibrators as, like, a very solo masturbation thing. But I think one of the coolest things as we were originally doing the research and development and building out prototypes, giving out the beta testers, it was that they were showing their data to their significant other being like, hey.
Like, just look at my like, what this looks like. And one of the most the biggest moments I remember having is a person who didn't know how to bring up that she wanted more foreplay. And this was a kind of a really fun way to just being like, hey.
Let's just play with this toy and see what it looks like, what the data looks like, because it becomes a fun, curious thing versus an accusatory, like, you're not doing this or x, y, and z. And so one of the things she said was, like, a big moment was that she was like, look. With just this vibrator, it took me thirty minutes to get to an orgasm. So just understanding that it foreplay was so important and how long she needed just with the toy itself.
And so she said that she saw her partner, the light bulb go off in his head, and seeing that data, seeing that the session was, like, thirty minutes being like, oh, like, we just needed to do longer foreplay. We need to do bigger buildups because she can get to an orgasm. It just takes her a little bit more time. And so she said it was, like, a really fun way for her to kind of break that barrier. You bring a toy. It's like a fun thing.
And it kinda takes that stigma and, like, that little bit of that taboo away for people. And so I think it was a great way to introduce, one, toys to the bedroom within a partnered relationship to kind of seeing data in, like, a new fun aspect of it, and then just kind of learning different aspects about about another person's body that maybe you haven't known before. Yeah. I love all of that, and I wanna go back then since we are talking about the development of the research of all that.
What actually inspired this whole product to take off? Like, where did this vision come from? Because like you said, it's like the only one on the market. It's such a unique a unique device that way. Yeah. Yeah. So I my background's in mechanical engineering. I was previously at Amazon building, like, Kindle devices and things like that. And I think one of the big things I have to always tell people, like, we started the company about nine years ago.
And nine years ago, I was a very different person. I was super scared of my body. I was very much like, I will never do interviews. But I knew from an engineering perspective, I did wanna build a better vibrator because I feel like vibrators haven't really changed in terms of how they're engineered, what kind of things there are beyond, like, a buzzing thing or anything like that.
And so, and I I had started to learn that the sex toy industry was extremely male dominated, and I met this founder of a different sex toy company that doesn't exist anymore, and I was this guy. And I was like, how do you know why you're building, like, worse for women and, like, people with vulvas? And he was like, oh, you just put it on your nose, the vibration. That's what a clitoris feels like. And you'll see it, you know, still if you go to sex toy conventions to this day.
It's such a common thing that they'll show, which I think I understand what they're getting at. Like, I understand that, like, the nose has maybe a little bit more nerves, so it's closer to the clitoris. But I was really surprised that the first answer wasn't, oh, we give it out to as many women as possible. We get as much feedback. We get that input. We have women on the team. And so we knew we wanted to build a smarter vibrator.
And at first, we actually were trying to build, like, an AI vibrator that moves, and the more it learns about you, it'll vibrate differently and all of that. But as we looked into the data, we realized in research, there's so little research around female sexual pleasure. And there wasn't really data to go on like, well, what does an orgasm look for look like for a woman?
Like and we found one paper from the nineteen eighties, by Bolin, and he showed that it's you can see orgasms through, involuntary pelvic floor contractions. So whether it's anal or vaginal, you can see your pelvic floor muscles squeeze and relax from a really rhythmic pattern.
And so we took that, and we just started building and developing this thing of, well, can you see does it look different if you've had a cup of coffee that day, or you're really stressed, or you're doing it in the morning versus the nighttime? And we saw that your orgasm patterns is just it's like an identity to you. It might look similar, but it changes from different factors.
And so that's when we really kinda leaned into this thing of realizing how important data can be for people to understand about their own body and something that they've never seen about themselves. And that's how blindness all kinda came together. And now we're here nine years later, still sex experimenting, sex still sexploring, and still learning more and more things every day. And you, I mean, you bring up so many good points in that, right?
It's like no wonder there's not research that is really profound in this space, and no wonder why scientists and, you know, medical professors and schools have such a hard time teaching about female orgasms and why pharmaceutical companies have had such a hard time developing hypoactive essential drugs for women is in part because of all of that, because of, like, exactly what you found in in some of the studies so far that you guys have been doing around, oh, yeah.
Maybe caffeine does this for one woman and that for another woman, and it's so incredibly unique. And so from what I hear with what you're saying, it's like, in some ways, maybe less than saying and and determining, like, oh, somebody should avoid caffeine or another woman should avoid this or that and more just, like, getting that data and feedback right around, like, where the uniqueness of you as a woman, how do how does your erotic tissue actually respond? Totally.
Yeah. And I I always tell people, like, I'm not saying that every single time you have sex or masturbate, you don't have to always be so analytical about it.
Like, I'm not saying, like, I I'll masturbate every day and then write a journal entry of all the things that have happened, but it's nice to take those moments and kind of take it away from sometimes, like, the sexiness away from sex and just being like, oh, like, being in touch with your body, reflecting back on what's been working for you. And even me, like, I'm still learning things about my own body to this day.
Actually, just most recently, I was looking at my data from 2017 versus this year, and I realized the time it takes me to have an orgasm has increased, but the amount of big squeezes, big relaxes, and the length of the orgasms has also doubled in length.
And that's something that I, like, didn't really think about until recently, just looking at the two separate data being like, oh, I think this is me really taking the time to enjoy my masturbation practice more versus previously, it was kind of like a mechanical, like, getting it done, quote, unquote, kind of feeling.
And so I'm still constantly learning about, the different changes in my body and just kind of taking the time from being like, oh, that's something new that I hadn't thought about myself. Yeah. I just I love that so, so, so much. And and I do think there's a level too where it's like with taking, like, not being scientific all the time. Right?
Just enjoying it and and enjoying the pleasure, but then also coming back to the data sometimes from a standpoint of exploring one's body or talking to a partner can really take away some of that, that that intensity and stigma and, like, you know, fear that sometimes, like, we that we experience as humans around the subject of sexuality, right, when it's just like, oh, let's, like, look at the data points, and let's just see what feels good and see what how my body responds to.
It just it makes things so clear, and it kinda takes away maybe something like emotional charge that people might have about it. Do you find that? Totally. I mean, even for myself, I think one of the big things I know is, for me, stress. So having very high cortisol level really drops my pleasure to the point where I sometimes, like, don't feel the orgasm or it's like a really small blip. And I've started seeing it in my data of, like, the months that I'm extremely stressed.
And it was actually a moment to actually be able to take it back to my partners at the time and being like, hey. Like, this is something that I know about myself is that I just don't feel any level of arousal when there's too many things going on in my life and I'm overstressed. And even if I'm enjoying the experience, the orgasm just doesn't come for me.
And I think that was such an important thing that I was able to actually have that conversation and, like, in a fun way, like, show the graphs of being, like, literally, I can't find the orgasm in this chart. Like, and even if it is, it's like really, really tiny blip in it. And so I think those are the moments, like, even personally for me of realizing those moments of, taking the time to being like yeah. Breaking the barriers down.
And I think just knowing those things about yourself and knowing that there's nothing wrong. I think the biggest question we get all the time is, am I normal? Is this normal? Is it normal that this is happening? And it's it's finding the moments to being like, your body is absolutely normal. It's just how your body responds. Yeah. Absolutely. And then I'm also curious around just, like, patterns. Have you seen any types of orgasm patterns in the data you've been collecting at all?
Yes. That's a great question. It's, it's one of the things that we're the most, most, most proud of, because now we have the world's largest dataset on female sexual function, the biggest thing and has been for our mission of our company is to expand the research around female sexual function.
And one of the papers that was published about two years ago, led by doctor Jim Faust of Prague University, he actually saw through the line of, data that was, basically contributed by re by users that wanted to be a part of the research study that we found three unique patterns that can happen during an orgasm. So almost everyone is, like, categorized of one of three types. The ocean wave, which is the most common. It's also my pattern.
It's this very rhythmic squeeze and relax that happens during the orgasm. So you'll see it kind of look like an ocean wave. There's the avalanche, similar to the ocean wave where you're seeing the squeeze and relax, but it starts much higher in force, and then it trickles down. So it gets weaker and weaker as the orgasm con continues. And then your classic movie esque, how people represented in movies is what we call the volcano type.
There's a huge explosion of force and a huge drop in force, less of a rhythmic contraction. And now something really cool that, doctor Jim Faust got to got to present on because I think it it explains a lot of people when someone else describes what an orgasm feels like for them. If you're like, wait. That doesn't that's not what might feel like. Maybe I'm not doing it correctly, but it's may maybe just that we have different patterns.
And it's been really cool to see people starting to identify with different patterns and seeing what their patterns look like and seeing how it could be different than your friends or your partners and all of that. Oh, it's so beautiful. And do you I do you have any data? I'm just curious. Are there, like, percentages on, like, oh, most women have a tendency more to this, or is it just so unique around? It's just hard to even identify percentages.
Yeah. Originally, I would say, like, originally, when that paper was published, we did mention that we haven't really seen people jump from pattern to pattern. So, for example, I'm an ocean wave. I'm kind of forever an ocean wave. But, actually, over the past two years, what we started seeing is people can potentially jump from one pattern to another. So now it's become harder to split in terms of, like, what percentage everyone is.
But I would say, like, I wanna say almost close to 80% people are gonna be the ocean wave pattern for the most part. But even for me, I've recently found some of my data looking like the avalanche type. And so, yeah, it's been kinda school to see, like, how people might change, and we don't know what causes one pattern versus the other pattern. But typically, we've seen people be one specific pattern only, and most commonly has been the ocean wave pattern. Yeah. That's so cool.
And then there's just so much ability once we know that pattern to have, you know, just like fun ability to say, okay, well, let's see if I can become an avalanche, and how do we do that? Yes. What if we do this? Right? Like, you become your great your own sex experimenter. It's incredible. Totally.
Totally. And then, Nina, just think about, like, my mind just goes through, like, all the different ways this can be brought into, like, foreplay because then it it's like I'm always looking for things, especially in partnerships, around, like, helping people solve problems by being back on the same team together because I think sometimes in long term partnerships when things just get a little out of balance, we just we forget that we're on the same team.
Mhmm. And I think this is just such a good opportunity to be like, oh, okay. Well, now we you know? Okay. We know I'm an ocean type. So how do we you know, if we try this, like, will that change my orientation? That. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it's just there's so much so much foreplay and fun conversation potential at hand here. Absolutely. Yeah. I think that's what makes it just super fun. Yeah. It really does. It really does. Well, I know we have a coupon code for everybody today.
So libido lounge, everybody, if you use libido lounge, and we'll have links to Lioness. But if you use libido lounge as a code, you will get 10% off. So I wanna make sure everybody knows about that. We'll have all of the links you gave us on how to get ahold of you and follow your work here in the bio in the bio and show notes today as well. But before we let you go, is there anything that you feel like, we did not cover that we absolutely have to say today? Oh, that's a good question.
I mean, I think it really is. Like, I hope people continue experimenting with their own body. Like, I I think sometimes when you think that you, like, really know your body, it's really cool to start really getting curious of, like, even little things like, oh, if I'm a nighttime person, what happens if I start masturbating or having sex in the daytime and then seeing what those different changes could be? And the possibilities are endless of what you can possibly, like, experimenting with.
We've definitely seen people that do edging, have anything with, like, maybe THC lubricants, things like that, or, has been teach and caffeine has all been really interesting ones that we've seen really unique data around. And so I always tell people, like, where do you start? I'm always like, caffeine's a really easy kind of fun one to try. And edging, I would a % recommend practicing edging, seeing how that could totally change your pleasure.
But, yeah, I would just say, like, continue being curious about your own body. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for all of this information, for founding this really, really cool company. I'm so excited for continued study and data collection on my own body and sharing the message to the lightest. Yeah. So thank you so much, Anna. It's really a pleasure. So much for having me. This is so this is so lovely. I'm excited. Same here. Same here.
And thanks again, everybody, for tuning in for another episode here. Just as a reminder, remember that vote and share this podcast and download it. And remember that whoever has the most downloads and shares, we are reaching out at the end of the year for 2024. Whoever has the most downloads and shares, we will invite them back for a longer deep dive. And I know by the end of the year, I'm gonna have tons of my own data and tons more data for my clients, so be super fun to have Anna back.
So make sure you do download this episode, share it with your friends. And I'm gonna say goodbye now. I'm just reminding you guys to always stay classy, always stay sexy, and always be a little badass y. See you next time. Thank you for listening to the libido lounge. Please don't keep me a secret. Please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.