We have a whole society built on avoiding discomfort. Yeah. It's okay to be uncomfortable. It's okay to have feelings that don't feel great sometimes. Like, it's the human experience. Again, it's not failure. It's growth. It's process. They're not called growing pleasures. Right? Right now, all you know is that you're curious. That's great. That doesn't mean you go to a sex party tomorrow or you bring a third person into your bedroom. Right? This means you're curious. You wanna learn more.
We're in a society where we're given like a relationship prescription is what I call it. Here's what relationship looks like. That is it. And if it's not working for you, you are the problem. That's just not true. It's never been true. Is your relationship a safe container to have these uncomfortable conversations? You're doing life with somebody, some weird shit's gonna happen along that ride.
You've gotta be able to sit in that discomfort and work through it together and and learn how to make it something that actually strengthens your connection in your relationship. A relationship without trust and freedom isn't partnership. It's ownership. So you get better at the skill that life is uncomfortable. There's always gonna be uncomfortable stuff, but you get better at navigating it. By owning your needs, you gave your partner the invitation to participate with you or not.
Neither is wrong. Do you wanna be with a partner who's choosing to be with you or who feels like they have no other choice? Hey, everybody. Quick break at our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, My Libido Doc. One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just have to learn how. So head over to our site to get your free copy of our e book, Five Steps to Mind Blowing Orgasms and Romance.
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner. So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that e book there for download. Now back to our show. Hey, everybody. Welcome to the lounge. I'm so excited to introduce you to our guest today, Allie. I'm your sexologist and libido expert, doctor Diane. And the reason I'm so excited to introduce you to Allie today is for so many reasons.
Those of you who've been following my show for a long time have heard some of my own story, my history with consensual non monogamy, and eventually me landing through my own discovery and my own self exploration that I love monogamy and that I really am truly wired that way.
Now one of the things that I learned the most from that particular lifestyle is that we get to make our own rules and that in relationships, the more we can explore what is right for us and what is right for our relationship and how that looks to bring passion back into whatever type of lifestyle or whatever type of arrangement you choose and you and your partner choose, this is so amazing, right, that we get to actually create what we want.
So while I talk so much in my work with my clients around novelty and monogamy and how to bring the passion back, I wanted to bring Allie in because she's so amazing at really going deep into this topic and really bringing the awareness of both the principles of this for things like monogamy, but also how to begin to explore and deepen and open up your relationship if that is truly what seems like the right thing for you and your partner. So welcome to the show, Ali. I can't wait to dig in.
Thank you so much for having me. What a wonderful introduction. Thank you. My pleasure. So let's like just lay the ground rules because I really haven't talked a ton about like the other side of monogamy and, you know, consensual non monogamy. And there's so many different ways that this can look. So and people I think get confused between consensual non monogamy and polyamory and swinger lifestyle and, you know, all of these things can have their little nuances.
So can you just kinda open this up with like the framework so we're all on the same page or like, what exactly are we even saying with this? Absolutely. And first and foremost, this is a conversation about relationship dynamics. So don't ever hear me as saying, you know, monogamy bad, non monogamy good, or anything like that. These are all relationship dynamics that when we understand what's actually available to us, like you said, we can actually make a decision.
We can make a choice about what we want. So the easiest way to break down what seems like a lot of terminology that sounds very new is non monogamy, consensual non monogamy, ethical non monogamy. These are synonyms. Right? E n m, c n m. And they're the umbrella term for a number of different relationship dynamics such as polyamory, swinging, solo polyamory, relationship anarchy. It's like an umbrella term for all these different dynamics, and then monogamy.
So monogamy is, you know, one sexual romantic life partner. Non monogamy is having multiple sexual romantic intimate partners simultaneously with the key ingredient, the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Right. So I think that's one of the most important things where people get confused around, like, we're not talking about cheating. Right? The ethical word is that it is transparent. It is with integrity.
It is with honesty and openness and ground rules, and people are playing in a way that is in agreeance for what they've determined are their their agreements in their relationship. Exactly.
You know, in thinking about this, right, because I know one thing that comes up, like like, non monogamy and the openness and other partners is something that I think a lot of people, no matter what their relationship choice is, I think a lot of people fantasize about this, right, about fantasize about that novel new partner. So what are your strategies around if somebody, you know, is hearing this or if they are having these fantasies?
Like, how do people start determining if exploring this with their partner is something that's, you know, open or there is right for them versus, like, oh, this really needs to be kept in fantasy. Like, what do you recommend on that? Well, I think starting with curiosity over conviction is something I like to say. Right now, all you know is that you're curious. That's great. That doesn't mean you go to a sex party tomorrow or you bring a third person into your bedroom. Right?
This means you're curious. You wanna learn more. I like to use metaphors. I'm a whore for metaphors. You're gonna hear me use a number. I love it. If you if you know you're interested in in swimming, you don't just go dive into the Pacific Ocean. Right? You find, you know, a teacher, a local pool. You get some lessons, some group lessons, some individual lessons. You try it out in the pool, then you get into, you know, bigger waters. It's a process. Right?
So right now, you're just curious to learn more. You don't even know what this thing is necessarily or what it's gonna mean to you and what your needs are. So right now, you just wanna learn. So if you're looking at bringing this up to your partner, again, starting with curiosity over conviction, that initial conversation is really about gauging where they're at. You're not asking for anything other than, hey. Have you even heard of this?
I've heard this term, consensual non monogamy or, you know, this new movie or this show or whatever. I read this article. Have you heard about this? What do you think about this? Gauge where they're at with it, and then invite them on exploring what this even is, learning. Again, not experiential right away. But, like, let's read this article together. Let's go to this movie together. Let's talk about this. What even is this? That is step one before anything else happens. Yeah. I know.
I love that. I know, like, when I was getting started, when I tried this for the first time, it was, like, finding every book and article I read of that then. It was, like, ethical slut or ethical slut and sex before dawn and those kind of books. And, you know, now there's even books like Polysecure and some of the newer books that have come out that really address different components of it. But it was cool.
You know, the cool thing about that was if, like, for me, it did lead to two cents of trying that type of relationship. But what's very interesting about it was even from a standpoint of just, like, reading those books and just, like, talking about it, even if it wouldn't have moved past then, it still was, like, really, like, hot. Like, it still just, like, allow these conversations with my partner at the time, my main partner at the time, to to actually, like, unfold.
And even, like, talking about it was kind of like foreplay. So do you see that in your in people you coach with that? Absolutely. That's why I I like to say whether you choose to open up your relationship to include other people or you just wanna open up more authentically to each other, I help you open up without blowing up. Because regardless of what happens after, you need to at least be able to talk about this. Like you said perfectly, the curiosity. Right?
Coming from that curiosity, is it gonna stay in fantasy, which means it's just in your imagination? Maybe it's something you guys play with, you know, fantasy land versus desire, which is when you bring a fantasy into reality, into practice, you know, IRL. So getting to explore what this really is starts with you. What are your needs when it comes to your sexual or physical needs, your emotional or romantic needs? What is your hierarchy of exclusivity on both of those planes?
And then that helps you understand which relationship dynamics really support that. We're in a society where we're given, like, a relationship prescription is what I call it. Here's what relationship looks like. That is it. And if it's not working for you, you are the problem. That's just not true. It's never been true. Our species is incredible. We are, we're ambiamorous. We are perfectly natural and capable of having monogamous and nonmonogamous relationships throughout our history.
This is not a new conversation. It is a new modern conversation in a sense. But really understanding what relationship dynamics are enables you to actively build and then choose your relationship. Again, even if it's monogamous. Now you're actually choosing it because you know, like you figured out, this is the relationship structure that supports me and what I need. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.
And so in thinking about this, right, so I like this, you know, curiosity and it's a really great start for people. Are there questions from like a self discovery, you know, process? Are there questions that you recommend people, like, ask themselves and take into, you know, journaling or meditation or working with somebody like yourself? Like, how how does that self exploration beyond the curiosity go? Like, where where do you advise there?
Yeah. So I'm something that's really integral here is understanding your big why. And I actually have a free tool called what the fuck do you want workbook. It helps you understand your big why. Why are you even curious about this in the first place? That is so important. You can go to passporttopleasure. It's the numeral two. Passport to pleasure dot com slash big y, the word. Okay. And we can share hopefully, we can share those links.
I'd like Yeah. I find that people like to hear it too because sometimes they get lost in the show notes. Absolutely. Passporttopleasure.com/bigy. And that is a great little workbook that will help you with some fun exercises to really uncover where this is coming from for you. Is this sexual? Is this emotional? Is it both? And understanding that big why is really gonna inform your whole journey.
It's always what you're gonna come back to when you're making these decisions, when you're having these conversations with your partner or partners. It is that is that starting point. Right? And so, like I said, kinda touched on earlier that looking at your hierarchy of exclusivity when it comes to your sexual physical needs and your emotional romantic needs. We don't all have the same level of of exclusivity in both of those areas. We don't all necessarily need the same amount of exclusivity.
So really understanding where you fall, then learning about all these different relationship dynamics helps you figure out where on the, you know, relationship dynamic chart you fall. This is all stuff that I walk people through in my course, e and m one zero one. Because it's it can seem like a lot because it's new. Right? That's all it is. It's once you kinda get into it and you're learning this new language, it's just like learning any new language. It's just new. That's all.
It seems like a lot. It's just new. It's okay. Beginner's mindset. Yeah. And I think a big key that I look for in couples is, you know, how do you handle mistakes in your relationship? Is it just a blowout blame game situation, or is it like, hey. What happened here? What can we learn from this? What do we need to change and shift so that it doesn't happen again? Is there value here? Are there boundaries and agreements that we need to adjust?
Understanding things like jealousy, mistakes, etcetera, as learning opportunities, as points of actual deeper connection is a huge part of this. And that's actually, honestly, one of the biggest things that even monogamous couples can take away from learning about consensual nonmonogamy. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't agree more. It's a it's a really good opportunity to work through, like, oh, like, like, in life, in relationships, it's so easy to find jealousy over anything. Right?
Over, you know, looking at another person that's beautiful, over a conversation, over hanging out with somebody as friends, like, so many different things. And I think one of the things that I have seen with the ethical nonmonogamy arrangement is it does, like, those things that it can be, like, almost in shadow where we're like, okay. It's like easy to put over the side.
Even though these things are often impacting ourselves and our relationship, it does bring some of it in my experience, some of those things up to the surface that says, hey, there's something here that we actually need to spend time to work on ourselves and to address and and all of those things. So I really love for that. And, when it comes to, say, pros versus, let's call them challenges. Right?
So in an ethical non monogamy scenario, what are some of the things that you've seen across the board as being like, hey. These are really common, you know, pros, benefits that people get out of that arrangement. And what are some of the things that you see from the other side of like, okay, these are challenges that come up that, you know, people might struggle and and have more effort in in working through and figuring out?
Sure. I think the the key here is really understanding consensual non monogamy as exposure therapy, honestly, like relationship exposure therapy. It's not really adding anything new that wasn't there. It's just, like you said, bringing it to the surface. So you're really gonna get to see who you and your partner really are and the quality of your relationship. Is your relationship a safe container to have these uncomfortable conversations, which are still required by monogamous relationships?
Just a quick break to let you know that eighty percent of women do not have orgasms from vaginal intercourse alone. So many people are not having the type of sex that is healing, that brings them closer, that brings them more connected, that is full of so much pleasure and passion that it can build bones, reduce stress, help serotonin, bring happiness, lower anxiety, improve sleep, and build a better connection with your partner.
That is what hot and modern monogamy is, is modern monogamy that brings in all of that passion, that desire, that closeness, and that healing, and that's what you can get at the hot and modern monogamy club. So if you're interested in that and I can help you, please go to modernmonogamyclub.com. Now back to our show. You're doing life with somebody, some weird shit's gonna happen along that ride.
You gotta be able to sit in that discomfort and work through it together and and learn how to make it something that actually strengthens your connection in your relationship. So something like, again, the the benefits are just to me, like, endless.
That, you know, increased, safety from communication, using tools using things like jealousy as a tool rather than trying to avoid it or run away from it, really owning and understanding your desires, your needs, learning how to ask for and speak for them, and then boundaries. There's this big misconception that boundaries are rules. Right? That this is how, you know, I separate myself from everyone else.
If you cross my boundary, you know, you're, you know, you're wrong and I'm gonna punish you and all this stuff. Boundaries are the edges of our comfort zone. Boundaries are how I take care of myself and how I invite you to join me in that. And if you can't, that's okay, but this is how I'm gonna still take care of myself. Myself. Yeah. Understanding where those boundaries are and not not misconstruing them for rules. Boundaries are about me. Right?
I. Rules are about you controlling somebody else. And then agreements are about basically boundaries for our relationship. So the easiest way to break it down is boundaries are me, rules are you, agreements are we. So really understanding the difference there helps you create a relationship that has freedom. And that doesn't necessarily mean multiple partners.
It means two individuals or more, but two individuals who are free to explore and be curious and learn and grow, get uncomfortable, and expand. That is the making of what I call expansive love. Again, whether it includes multiple people or not or multiple partners or not, this is how you create the foundation for a relationship that is growing and open. Something I like to say is a relationship without trust and freedom isn't partnership. It's ownership.
So if you wanna create partnership, you really have to integrate tools like boundaries, learning how to use jealousy, etcetera. But as far as what, you know, like, as as you said, challenges, it's it's challenging because it's new. Absolutely. You're going to be given the opportunity to really deal with some uncomfortable stuff, but it's just like going to the gym. Right? The first time you go to the gym, it's really hard. But you know what? Those weights don't get lighter.
You just are able to lift bigger and bigger weights. So you get better at the skill that life is uncomfortable. There's always gonna be uncomfortable stuff, but you get better at navigating it. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's any anything that is growth oriented is that way. Right? Like, the bigger challenges we face in anything in life. It's like, woah. I survived that.
And then it allows us to have a bigger and broader threshold for tolerance around what we, you know, what we can actually say accomplish and overcome and navigate and emotionally stay grounded during all of that. So Yeah. I think the boundary conversation is really important. So let's go back to that. So in this conversation around, okay, boundaries are the I. Right? Boundaries are like, okay. They're for me. How do people begin to to unpack that and and deal with sometimes, okay.
Well, like you said, you're so well said around, like, boundaries might not always be respected. I still have then an internal way of protecting my and taking care of myself during that do that. So I think that's a pretty, like, big concept, and we're saying that. That can sound, like, pretty esoteric. So do you have any, like, examples of how that could really look around? Like, okay.
Let's say, like like, a common thing, you know, in, like like, going through that world, it was very interesting how every relationship had their agreements. Right? And so it's navigating a lot of, like, okay. Now there's a new relationship with new agreements, a new relationship new agreements, and there was a lot of navigating that.
And it was common that somebody might have, you know, a a boundary or, I guess, like, the if the partner had, say, a rule, and it would be something like, well, their rule and their agreement with their other partner was that, hey, there'd be no spending the night. Or I met somebody that the rule that he had was five hours at a time. That was the max any sort of date could ever last. Right? And so where do you, you know, where do people begin? And it's like, okay.
Well, if my boundary let's say somebody is like, my boundary is this is what it is and they wanna engage with somebody and there's this almost this conflict, how do we begin to take care of ourselves if somebody is, say, not respecting our boundary? I'm gonna use an example that's probably gonna be very, feel might feel a bit dramatic for some people. So I'm just gonna preface with that, but it's the most clear way I can think of to describe it.
So our relationships, we have a very, we have a very closed version of relationship in our society. And, again, it's kind of what I mean by, you know, partnership versus ownership. We're making choices. Relationships are in agreement. Right? There's there's no real shackles. There's not we are choosing to be with each other regardless of, you know, whatever forms have been filed and labels have been attached.
You are actively choosing to be with somebody in whatever dynamic you're in, what however informed or uninformed that might be. So the difference between boundary and rule is I get to decide what you know, am I am I monogamous? Am I nonmonogamous? Do I want one partner or multiple partners? I don't get to tell my partner how many partners they get to have. I don't get to make them non monogamous if they only want to be with me anymore than they get to make me monogamous if I am non monogamous.
But we get to decide what kind of partners we want to be with. So I don't get to go, you can only see me. I get to go, I wanna be in a relationship with I feel safe in a relationship. I feel, you know, whatever adjectives in a relationship with a partner who is monogamous. So that may equal not being in a relationship with that person. Monopoly relationships are a % possible.
You can have a monogamous partner and a polyamorous partner because, again, you're agreeing to be with that person as who they are. You're not trying to make them or tell them to be somebody else. You're taking responsibility for the kind of partner or partners that you wanna be with. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean, it's a it's a perfect example.
It's actually, like, was applied even to my own life around, like, that was a huge part of why, like, the last poly relationship ended is I there's many reasons, but one of them was I am like, came to a conclusion after some years that that was not the lifestyle. And he came to the conclusion after some years that it was definitely the lifestyle.
And we could have stayed in that relationship, but I also relationship, but I also came to the conclusion for myself, like you're saying, of like, oh, I actually want to be with somebody and it's my boundary that I wanna be with somebody that actually is interested in the same type of relationship structure for a lot of different reasons. And so then my choice was, okay.
Well, this is not our values around this are not the same, it's important enough to me that, you know, why we have to go our separate ways. So that to me is, you know, an example of what you're saying around, like, yeah, there's we gotta take. We are responsible for our own responsibilities, and it might mean, that in that scenario, like, the relationship ended, but there was still that choice. I still had my own Exactly. Own power. Right?
By owning your needs, you gave your partner invitation to participate with you or not. Neither is wrong. Right? It's again, the the this framing of, like, the end of a relationship is somehow a failure. Well, how is it a failure if by ending that version of relationship, both people are able to create something that's more supportive to what they want and need in their lives. That sounds like success to me, and you both learned that through being with each other? Chef's kiss.
That is a fantastic Right. Exactly. Exactly. It was like a lot of self exploration. And here's where I think it gets tricky. So here's where I think people get confused between, like, ultimatums and boundaries. Right? So I think it would be good to bring that up because it's so easy in this example, right, to say, okay. Well, here's my boundary. And if you can't meet me here, I have to go take care of myself, which might mean that this relationship is over. That can also, like, be construed.
You could look at it from a certain frame and be like, well, that's an ultimatum, and there's such a negative con con text around ultimatums, which I think is like I think there's some ways that ultimatums or boundaries are done that is goes in more to this, like, controlling or forcing type of thing. Right? Mhmm. And that's, like, that's where I think they get a bad reputation. But where is that fine line between between exactly this, like, okay. This is my boundary versus, hey.
I'm doing this as a way to manipulate and control. Well, it's it's there's intention involved in that for sure. And it's, again, it's is it about you and your experience, or is it about making somebody else do something? Yeah. Do you wanna be with a partner who's choosing to be with you or who feels like they have no other choice?
Yeah. I personally would much rather know that my partners are actively choosing to be with me when they're with me, that they know that our relationship is an open space for them to explore and question and come to me with curiosities, concerns, etcetera. It is an act of choice every day whether we acknowledge it or not to be in relationship. So how you frame it is key, and that's, you know, what you what intention are you bringing to this?
Is it you better do this and you're weaponizing your relationship? You're weaponizing connection with you? Or are you saying, I I am here. I'm available, but this is what I'm available for. Are you able to meet me in, you know, the field of availability, or are you in a different area? Great. You're in a different area. That doesn't I'm I'm obviously sounding very, like, cool and chill and everything. These there's emotions involved.
It it can be challenging, and there's tears, and, like, that's okay. I think we have, there's a lot of things at play here. We have a whole society built on avoiding discomfort. Yeah. It's okay to be uncomfortable. It's okay to have feelings that don't feel great sometimes. Like, it's the human experience. Again, it's not failure. It's growth. It's process. They're not called growing pleasures. Right?
Like, sometimes there's pain involved, and, you know, you you move forward from that, and ideally you learn. Yeah. I think we also have a society that just we've not been trained very well in how to embrace and deal with the concept of paradox.
So I think it's really hard for people in these situations that we're talking about around, like, oh, the paradox of, like, I can be joyous and happy about taking care of myself and at the same time devastated that it might mean, in this example, losing a partner. Right? And sometimes it's very difficult to, you know, to to actually, you know, rectify that we can feel these two sometimes very polar emotions at the same time. And we have a word for it in society. We have, like, bittersweet.
Right? Which is kind of what that word is. But we I think we're just, like, not really taught from the standpoint of, like, the challenge and the emotion behind that what actually happens. And what I'm hearing you say there is, okay, from the standpoint of boundaries versus ultimatums, it really comes down to, like, the word choice and the the framing and our intention behind it.
And we can come at that that whole conversation from a place of, like, you know, this is just me showing up for myself and in love and wanting you to choose the best life for you and me to choose the best life for me. And we're just seeing if that matches, and that's one conversation versus, hey. I'm going to do this and I'm gonna use this and I'm gonna use language of, like, if you don't do this, I will dot dot dot dot dot.
Mhmm. And that languaging could have a lot more, like like, control and manipulation behind it. Correct? Is it a power play, or is it an invitation Right. At the end of the day? Yeah. It's a very good distinction. Well, I know we're we're starting to wrap up on time here. We're definitely gonna let everybody know how to get ahold of you, and we already, you know, talked about your, offering that we want we'll put in the show notes.
But before we wrap up and actually say all that, is there anything in this discussion that you feel like we have to say that we have not said in in the conversation of, like, ethical non monogamy of, you know, starting the the conversation, of starting to begin to maybe explore this? Any like, this is essential. Yeah. I I think we we kinda started with it, but I just wanna reiterate. Learning about this is just learning about relationship dynamics.
We have a society that again gives us this prescription, so it's very easy to be kinda lazy about relationship. A lot of people are participating in what I call lazy monogamy. Oh, yeah. We're in relationship now. We kinda went through this whole journey. I assumed a bunch of stuff. Like, we're on a date. It probably means the same thing to you. We live together. It probably means the same thing to you. Lot of assumptions, not a lot of conversation. Relationship is an actual skill set.
You see people have no problem going to, you know, professional communication courses and how to be a better leader and all that stuff. This is all relationship. Why is there so much shame and avoidance around developing those same skills for our most important relationships? So this is just, a conversation about learning relationship skills, learning about all the relationship dynamics available so you can actually make an active choice.
Doesn't mean you have to open up your relationship tomorrow. Doesn't mean you're gonna open up your relationship ever. It means you're committed to choosing whatever relationship you're in. Yeah. Amazing. And and that's a really good lead in too, everybody. We're gonna film part two and do part two in a second. Part two, you'll be able to access in the libido club, so you'll find that in the show notes as well.
And in part two, what we're doing is we are talking about how to take all of these concepts and really apply them more to the couple that has, you know, decided that they want to be in a monogamous relationship, and that's best for them. But some of these concepts we're talking about really do apply to monogamy. So if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, this is for me.
I you know, but as far as the concepts, but you wanna stay in monogamous relationships, definitely tune in for part two and how to find that will be below. And then, of course, we wanna tell people how to, you know, work with you and all of that because also as somebody who's, like, gone through all of that. And and I like I said, I read, like, every book and every article and everything that I could find back then. It was really helpful.
And having gone through that whole process, having somebody that like yourself that has walked it, that has steps, that has processes, I just think is so important because I really did see in that in those types of scenarios with people I met. I saw people who were, like, not navigating conversations well and was leading to a lot of fighting.
And I've seen relationships destroyed over it that could have probably been saved had they just figured out how to actually communicate effectively and with love and and do some of the steps. So I think, you know, having that support is essential if that is if people are interested in more exploring ethical non monogamy. So how do people get a hold of you to learn and get Well, yeah. And I just wanna reiterate what you said too.
The right support is so key because when you have a society again that has one view of what relationship looks like, very well meaning friends and family, when you're meeting those inevitable struggles, it's so common for them to go, you know what? This wasn't coming up until you tried opening up, so maybe you guys should close down. Maybe this isn't for you.
When really the guidance of somebody who can really help you dig in and see what the root really is to help you on this journey is is just integral. And so many, unfortunately, so many relationship therapists, counselors, coaches, again, come from a very mononormative viewpoint because that's most of what's out there. So having a specialist for this explicit, you know, experiment, if you will, is is so key. So so so key. So how do you find me? Passport to pleasure.com.
Again, that's the number two passport to pleasure.com. I have a very active Substack where I share tons of free content all about all these different skills, everything you can learn from consensual non monogamy to support your relationship journey, everything from jealousy to communication to compersion, the boundaries, tons of stuff on there. I do videos. I do written articles. I share some of my own personal story as well.
And then I also have a monthly relationship column, advice column called ask Ali, and it's an inclusive relationship advice column because I do work with monogamous couples as well. There's been a few couples that have come to me thinking that, you know, I think we wanna open up. Well, let's figure out what that looks like. And, actually, they just wanted to be able to open up to each other and talk about these fantasies and play with them and explore them. And then they decided, you know what?
Actually, we're gonna remain monogamous, but now we have a deeper, more expansive level of communication and understanding about ourselves and each other. Amazing. And we'll have all of those links in the show notes, you guys. And thank you again, Ali. Thank you for being here and sharing your your wisdom and your knowledge and just for helping this community so much. Really appreciate you. Thank you.
And everybody, look in the show notes for all of this, and we will see you in, you know, in the future for another episode on the lounge. Take care. Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge. Please don't keep me a secret. Please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibidodoc.com.