Welcome to the libido lounge, where we focus on all things love, lust, and libido. We believe that fabulous sex is important to health as exercise and good food. Welcome back to another episode of the libido lounge. I am your host, doctor Diane, the libido doc, and I'm really excited about introducing you to holistic sex coach Jamie Thompson. I met Jamie many years ago at a really beautiful s factor type sensual dance type practice.
And one of the things that was instantly so striking to me about Jamie is how deeply she is embodied in her feminine, in her pleasure, in her caption. And it's really, really a pleasure for me to introduce you all to her today. She has so many practices where she helped women in so many ways around working with pleasure, finding, organizing, bliss, and so much more. We're gonna talk about so many juicy details for you guys today. So welcome, Jamie.
I'm so excited to spend some time with you today. Yes. It's such a pleasure to be here, Diane. Thank you, and I love remembering those sensual dance days. It's like forever ago in in so many ways. Yeah. Well, tell us a little bit about just your your path and how you got inspired to develop the work that you do and, you know, why you're so passionate about working with women in the way you are, and then we're gonna get into some really, you know, really fun and juicy conversations today.
Yes. Absolutely. Yes. I primarily at this time, I used to work with couples at this time. I'm more working with groups of women online and in retreats. And it's centered around sexuality, pleasure, embodying our femaleness and feminine potency and really falling back in love with our bodies. And for me, I grew up in exactly the opposite of that, and I I started out in a very repressed religious kind of household. Everything was very contained and rigid.
I was always feeling like I was being controlled. And as I grew up later in life, I rebelled against that, and I went through this whole sexual liberation phase. And and in in that time, I wasn't really creating experiences that were the most deeply fulfilling and heart centered for myself. I also went through a phase of experiencing sexuality as what I call very utilitarian.
And I I think that's a phase where a lot of us end up in where it's like a utility, where I would find myself with my vibrator at lunchtime in, like, a ten second climax, and it was like a three minute total experience. And I wasn't even actually touching myself or really connecting with my body. And I always had this feeling of, like, there was something more in sexuality. There was something more in this erotic energy, in this life force.
I I felt it and I wanted it, and it was not being found inside of my vibrator. That's for sure. Or inside of the relationships that I had at that time. There was there was also a time where I almost married a man that we didn't we we didn't even have a great sexual connection. It it was like it was like I had gotten to the point where I just wanted it to be loved so much that I chose a man who was wonderful and and loved me very much, and it was unconditional.
But, like, our passion and our spark and our aliveness was missing. So I've really ran the gamut of what I know a lot of people experience in sexuality and intimacy and pleasure.
And I was in this place where I started studying sacred sexuality, and I started studying more mystical, erotic, feminine arts and temple arts and tantra and these different lineages that celebrate sexual energy as life force and as our creative healing transformational capacity, of course, pleasure, but also this ecstatic experience of being connected with all of life, with ourselves, with our partner. And so I had a an erratic awakening, and it was a cervical orgasm.
So that's one of the reasons why I am so passionate about cervical orgasm specifically, which we can talk more about. But I I had an awakening while making love one day, and I was I was like, whatever just happened is not what I was doing before. Like, this is something very different, and it was so fulfilling. And it felt like the cells in my body lit up and turned on, and I felt a new radiance. And I you know, walking down the street with my head held high, I was just like, wow.
Whatever just happened was incredible. And I I started researching and discovering that cervical orgasm is real even though not all doctors are saying that still. It's still understudied in many ways, but it became this path and this and this journey that I was so interested in in learning more at. And so that really brings me, into this present moment where I've I've just been for the last six years holding groups and retreats for women to support them in these areas as well.
There's so much of what you just said that I feel like is so relatable, and I know we could really go off on about a bazillion different topics based upon what you just shared. But I think let's start because I I know a lot of the listeners and and myself included have, you know, background that they can really relate to around a certain upbringing that really puts this culture and this mindset on, like, what sex could be and what it should not be.
And and one of the things I know in your work that's related to this is that topic of good girl mentality. Right? So can you talk a little bit about that and how that plays into our sexuality, our desire, our pleasure, and the programming around that? Yes. Absolutely. So purity culture is comes from a religious doctrine and dogma that says that you are only a pure and holy woman if you are not sexually active outside of marriage. Right?
It even goes so far as to say that the that Mary was a virgin when she had Jesus. Right? So so purity culture is this, like, incredibly dense program that has been woven in through our culture, whether you're religious or not, because the founding of our culture was actually religious.
So this this, perspective that a woman, particularly a woman, is demonized or thought of as less than or cheap if she's embodied in her sexuality, even ends up being for women who are really integrated and connected with their sensuality and their sexuality, but they're they're not out of integrity with it, and and they still hold their dignity.
There's this there's this idea in good girl programming that in order to be valued and loved and chosen and trusted as a woman in the career place or for, you know, to a partner choosing you, that you need to be pure. Like, you need to be without sin and sex is connected to sin. So whether we are aware of this or not, like, the ways that that purity culture and Google program play out is, like, women don't actually speak up and use their voice.
Women don't ask for what they want in the workplace or in the bedroom. Women aren't even connected to, like, what we most deeply desire. So concerned with everyone else's needs. And and so there's a and and then and that's not even to go into pleasure. Right? Where there's really the the pleasure becomes about someone else and and not really about ourselves and really resting in in, like, what is the most pleasurable, juicy, erotic experience that we could have, and how can I create that?
Like, how many women are actually feeling that when they connect with their partner or with themselves? Or how much of it is, like, utilitarian or or or just, like, a to do list item or stress relief or for some or to make someone else happy and and to please someone. And so this journey back into finding the embodiment of what our sensuality and desire and pleasure really is is a is, like, kind of the entry step into it's talking about something like cervical cervical orgasm. Right?
It's, like, first of, like, what do you really love? How does that sensation feel in your body? How are you at asking for it? Yeah. I really like that term purity culture. I think there's, you know, there's other terms out there like Madonna horror complex or, like, women basically being almost reduced down to one of two things. You You either have to be completely pure or completely turned off from your sexuality.
And if you do, if you are interested in not, quote, unquote, being pure, then you are essentially get the poor label, that sort of thing. And it's I think it's so important to really reclaim this, especially with what we're seeing through the levels of, like, the religious programming or other programming as well as what we've even seen in medicine with the hysteria movement that if you guys haven't listened to some of my previous podcast episodes, we've talked about that in other episodes.
So definitely go check some of those out. I think we should go further into this. You brought up this, you know, the cervical organisms a couple times. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about cervical organisms. I know some women that are listening have heard of cervical orgasm. I know we have other women that have not.
So maybe let's go into that and talk also about this concept that you you brought up around, okay, not even knowing what we want and and the concept of who is responsible innately for determining our own pleasure and and making sure that we are having the types of pleasure and orgasms and and interrelational passion that we really want. Can you talk about all of that? Yes. Absolutely. I'll I'll start I'll start with that part of of just really looking at where our turn on comes from.
And because as a woman, it's so easy to walk around and think that it's our husband or partner or whatever man, prince charming that we're going to meet, it's going to be his job to turn me on. It's so easy to have that perspective because our turn on has been outsourced. Like, we've been programmed to believe that it comes from somewhere outside of us, and we have forgotten that it actually is a well that lives within.
And I believe that really reconnecting with our cervix is a journey into finding the deepest place of that connection. Because the cervix is at the very top of the vaginal canal. It's the deepest part inside of the female body. It's the the place that opens that welcomes life from the other world into this world.
I mean, it's truly a magical, tiny, little, cone shaped, just a couple centimeters big, but it's this incredible organ that can orgasm and actually has the it has three nerves that connect into the uterus. It has the greatest, capacity for female orgasm. Far greater than the the clitoris, but to really connect with your cervix and experience this cervical awakening and cervical orgasm, you have to also be connected with your heart.
You have to be able to feel inside of your body, and you actually have to map it back into your brain. Because many people, if in this moment, we just pause and do a little experiment and I say, feel your clitoris, we can, like, tune in and be like, oh, yeah. I I know where my clitoris is. I can feel that. But for many women, if I say, feel your cervix, they might not be able to feel that yet. Everyone can.
But it it hasn't been mapped in much like you wouldn't be able to feel your liver if if if you tried to feel your liver unless you have intentionally created the neural pathways to reignite and activate that.
And for many women, instead of orgasmic waves, when something touches their cervix, they feel nauseous, they feel pain, they feel like sandpaper, they clench because that has been our, that's been the habit that many women have created through not knowing how to really slow down and open and relax and even de armor the tissues. So if you imagine, you know, you haven't gotten a massage in in ten years on your shoulders, like, what are, you know, what are the knots gonna be like?
Like, what's the tension gonna be like? Like, there's actual tension to, relieve in in that space. And so when you practice something like cervical de armoring or cervical awakening, you're releasing the tension that is in the way of orgasm. I I believe that that the only thing in the way of orgasm is, a closed mind, a closed, you know, a a closed armored body, and actual physical tension that is on the cervix and in the vaginal canal that has us, clench and and not open.
And so one one thing that everyone can practice right away that's actionable is to practice next time you are working with a wand or or with your partner, practice slowing all the way down and bringing the tip of the the penis or the wand right to your cervix and breathing and exhaling with a sigh and practicing the experience of opening instead of clenching.
And the more you can practice this, the more you can start to generate awareness of your cervix and your capacity to open instead of close and and breathe instead of clench. Thank you. There's there's a couple of comments I have. One is it's it's very I feel like it's very important disconnection you're making with the heart.
And what I wanna comment for our listeners here is, like, even in Chinese medicine with my background, there is, like, this direct relationship energetically where there it's the it's its own spectral energetic channel, right, that connects the heart and the uterus and and, therefore, our cervix. So, you know, what you're saying, I think, is so important and so spot on there.
And I'm also curious, you know, because I I've done my own practices with wands where you're doing things like even finding, like, numbness on the cervix and being like, okay, breathing into the numbness. And recently, I got an IUD out, and one of the things that I really experienced with removing my IUD was my capacity for cervical orgasm seemed to almost instantaneously go through the roof.
So I'm curious from that standpoint, like, what you've seen around, like, you know, IUDs or perhaps anything else that could be some sort of blockage energetically there. And, you know, what you've seen in your work with that impacting women, both from a standpoint of pleasure as well as perhaps from, like, holding and trauma. And in those instances, are there any other actionable steps that you would guide women?
Yes. Well, I, you know, I not being a doctor, I can't ever advise someone to take out an IUD. And I have seen this happen many times where someone has a a hard time even connecting really even connecting with their pussy or really even, like, being very orgasmic, and then they take out their IUD and that connection increases, the energy flow increases.
I mean, I remember I had a belly button ring at one point, and I went to Chinese medicine doctor, and they were like, you're just blocking the middle of your channel. I'm like, but I like it. But I I took it out because it was like, okay. This is actually blocking energy. And and having a, you know, copper I mean, I know there's different kinds, but having some kind of object in your cervix definitely blocks the flow of energy into your cervix.
And so I have I've seen that over and over again because a lot of cervical orgasm also is energetic. You're really toning your vagus nerve and and allowing the the the tension and the the tone of the vagus nerve to start to expand. And as that happens, you start to feel more sensation throughout your body. So cervical orgasm is an access to full body orgasm also where it's not just a localized clitoral experience.
But if you have a block in there and this block, I mean, this block can be an, you know, an actual object, like an IUD, or it can be mental, or it can be a a physical tension, but any kind of block is going to get in the way of the full expression of the orgasmic energy to be able to travel through your whole body. And I also just wanna comment on the heart because another thing that starts to happen that I see so often in women, a question I get a lot is, is it okay to cry during sex?
You know, women women have this experience of, like, they're supposed to just be, like, sexy and porny and, like, doing all the things in in in their erotic experience. And a woman in her deepest, most powerful orgasm sounds more like she's giving birth than a porn. Like, it is, like, guttural and deep and they're shaking and sometimes there's tears and there's growling and moaning. And and it's it's an experience of raw feminine power coming through.
And when you are connected to your heart, often if you're not connected to your heart and it's closed down and you're afraid to cry. Right. Like that's just releasing. Like that's healing. Like feeling is healing. We welcome feeling all day long around here. And it I would say that eight out of 10 cervical orgasms I have, I cry during. Like, there's there's such a connection to the heart.
There's such an opening, and it it's it's it's both a spiritual opening and a heart and a heart based opening. And so to really remember that, like, this doesn't just happen, you can't just make your cervix orgasm the way you can make your clitoris orgasm. And it's one of the ways that I think that the cervix is is a a truth teller because it's not it's not just, something that you can make happen. It's really like, are you open? Is your body open? Is your heart open? Is your spirit open?
Are you available? Yeah. Yeah. I really appreciate that, and I think it's gonna raise a lot of interest for people because it's not something we've actually talked a ton about on this podcast yet. It's the cervical orgasm. And we are about out of time, but I wanna make sure that as we, you know, pique people's interest on this, we let them know how to get ahold of you. I know you have a giveaway for our guests.
So if you wanna talk a little bit about that giveaway, we'll have that, you guys, in the show notes for today. And then, also, if you have any final, like, wrap up, remember this, action item type of thing, we would love to leave our listeners with that as well. Amazing.
Yes. So what I would love to offer your listeners is a three part series that is an entry into awakening your most juicy, alive, potent experience of your pussy and your orgasm and this magical capacity that we're talking about here today. And it's a series called Gush, and it's about gushing. I talk about gushing. I could talk about a lot of different kinds of orgasm and and really how to de armor what is in the way and open to cervical orgasm. So this is really the entry into that.
And then I have a deeper program called pussy portal, which is a six week guided journey into awakening your cervical orgasm through de armoring. And we work with a wand, and I guide you through the process. But Gush is a great way to just, like if if you want more of what we've talked about today, I go into a lot more depth with a lot of things, and and I also lead, three really powerful rituals inside of inside of that. So there's you'll be much more connected to your your pussy.
And one thing I also wanna say with this is a lot of women are starting from a place of, like you said earlier, numbness, pain, disconnection, shame, all of that is welcome. Like, you can really start this from wherever you are. You don't need to be in your best shape, having your best day, living your best life to really connect with your your pussy in a new way.
And I believe that the the pussy is the muse and the the oracle that can ultimately open you to feeling more aliveness in your everyday life as well. It's not just centered around sexuality or or sex. So I will offer that. We'll put that link in the show notes here. It's just awakenwoman..life/gush. And and then what what else? Did you have another question? Less actionable steps.
I mean, I think you already kind of covered that a little bit here with, like, remembering that no matter where you are, you know, there's you can come in at any place, you know, whether you're feeling shame or anything. There's always a place. So I think you covered some of that, but there's anything else that you wanna add as just kind of a last takeaway. Yes. Absolutely. So one one thing I do at the end of all of my work with women is is ask everyone to make one tiny action.
I feel like sometimes this kind of transmission or talk can feel so big and, like, there's so much. And so I would like to ask all of your listeners to tune into what is one tiny action that they can do tomorrow and the next day and the next day that would support them in what they most deeply desire, something they heard here today.
And if you want a suggestion for one tiny action, one that I love to start women off with is actually just placing their hand over their pussy, just like cupping their hand and asking, what do you need? What do you want? What do you desire? And just taking a few minutes to listen once a day and and see so you start to remap in the relationship with your pussy as, like, a part of your body.
Sometimes there's this there's this way that, like, pussy is this thing that is, like, not connected to our body. Like, it's not included. And so to really start to include it back in into your body and and map it back in, that could be a great way to work with that. I love it. I love it. And there's so much capacity there with reconnecting their neurological system there as well and finding that connection again. So great way of wrapping up. Thank you so much for spending time with me today.
It's really great to connect with you after all of these years. And remember, listeners, as always, just wrapping up here at the libido lounge, your final reminder to stay sexy, stay classy, and always remember to stay a little badass y. We'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to the libido lounge. Please don't keep me a secret. Please share this with your friends. You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at mylibido.com.