Hello and welcome to the Let It Flow podcast, hosted by your spiritual besties Alexis and Carly. We're just two humans figuring things out, and we're here to share this community with you. As an outlet for self discovery and spiritual growth, this podcast is designed to open your mind with conversations that encourage you to ask bigger questions about mindset, spirituality, personal growth,
and everything in between. We're passionate about gaining different perspectives on what the universe has to offer, and the one thing we found to be 100% true is that life is meant to flow. We're not here to tell you how to live your life, but to provide you with the tools and knowledge you need to create an experience that feels uniquely you. TuneIn every week to awaken your potential and deepen your evolution.
Whether you're all in on your personal growth journey or just starting out, Let's flow Together. Welcome back to another riveting episode of the Let It Flow podcast, where Carly and I riff on whatever topic we decide is important that day and see where it goes. No, actually, we kind of prepped this one. This is new for us. We haven't. Literally like 10 minutes ago, yes. Not super far in advance, but we did prep and I have things
written down in a notebook. So this is different because we really wanted to focus on something that we've been reflecting on recently. But signs that you've outgrown, that you're outgrowing where you're currently at slash signs that you've grown because it can go either way. I feel like nobody's ever on one side or the other. It's always in flux. It's always in progress and.
So like your perspective that? I think sometimes it's more more beneficial to look at it from the respect perspective of, oh, I've grown in these ways. And then sometimes to kind of push the next step, I think it's useful to be like, look at your situation and be like, OK, the fact of the matter is this isn't serving me as as much as it did at one time.
And that's OK. But like, I've outgrown this and now I use the things that I have grown with and become and learned and all of that to, like go to the. Next step of your life, I guess. Yeah. One of the first things that came up for us and making this list was that like, you want to spend your time differently because you can be really happy in a space and just feel abundant and happy and you're like, yeah, this is it. And then all of a sudden it becomes repetitive and you
almost get bored. This is all speaking from my personal experience, but I got, I got bored and it's like, OK, what's next? And also the things that I was doing suddenly weren't quite as fun anymore. Like for example, going out to the bars three days a week. Like maybe that served me in College in some messed up way that, I don't know. I learned a lot of lessons there, but. It was a passageway. It was a passageway that got me to somewhere, but that just
didn't serve me anymore. I was like, so sick of feeling hung over and like the next few days afterwards, just feeling like I didn't go to the gym, like I was slacking on my goals because of that. It's like that pattern wasn't serving me anymore and I wanted to spend my time differently. But then it's like, OK, well, what do I do at that time? Like, how do I want to spend my time? And it really leads you to reflect in that way.
Yeah, I think because it's possible to move forward just naturally, you know, without thinking too much, but. Sometimes those cyclical patterns that we have created for ourselves are really strong. And this includes like habitual things like actions outside of yourself or things that you're
doing during the day. Or like a big theme for me right now, which I might get into a little bit further in this episode, is just like even mental habits, mental cycles, thoughts that you keep repeating. And so, to really be clear, helps, I think, with the motivation to. Like, yeah, the clarity to help yourself move out of them, Yeah. And wanting to spend your time differently. A lot of times that has to do with the cycles and the patterns, like Harley said.
And seeing the patterns and also seeing other people's and realizing that you don't have to be doing what they're doing. But that can be challenging, especially if it's if you're in a friend group that spends time a certain way, and then suddenly you don't really want to do those things anymore, but you want to hang out with them and they're perfectly fine spending their time that way. That can cause definitely some internal or maybe external conflict.
Yeah. I think it's important to realize that in this line of personal growth and evolution, I think this is definitely sometimes where it's natural to feel very lonely and. For a while, I think both of us could say that we've kind of fought that, you know, no one likes to feel lonely. Like it's not a pleasant thing to feel. But I really think it's our natural inclination to go and figure out, like, who the hell
we are and like what we do want. And it's just when things become a distraction and you realize that you're doing the same things you were doing. This is something I had experienced in college like. But a few times I did go out, a couple of them. With Alexis, I realized that I was surrounded by people, but I felt even more lonely than when I was sitting at home alone. And just admitting that to ourselves is really important. Yeah, the times that I've spent
alone, particularly traveling. I was traveling alone, talked about that a lot, some big part of my life. But I never really felt lonely until I got really in my head about, like, what am I doing? This doesn't even make sense. Like people are confused at like how I'm wasting all this time and I'm not using this time in my life to make money or build my career. And then I would feel really lonely because it was that nobody understands me mindset
that made me feel lonely. But in the like reality I was having, the time of my life, I was doing exactly what I felt like I should be. I should be doing or like that I wanted to do. And there were people around me
all the time. I was meeting new people every day and it was fulfilling me. But it was whatever my mind got in there that it really made me feel lonely to think of doing things differently just because when we don't have people to relate to, sometimes it's like, oh, there's like no one to talk to. And it can feel isolating. But there's always somebody like, it's really your mind blocking out and limiting and like you pushing people away.
Usually because to reinforce that idea that you're lonely and that you're alone. Because if you open up like your peripherals and like, really pay attention to the people around you, you do have that support. You just need to not push it away to reinforce that idea that you don't. Absolutely. And then to also remember that always, always, always our biggest support. This is such a cliche thing to say, but it's so true. It's always our own self. Like nobody will ever know you
as well as you know yourself. Even if, like sometimes, there's times where I literally am still like. Who? Who the rickety frack am I? Like what am I even doing here? Like what's going on? But I still when I take a moment and just really sit with myself, I realized that yeah, I'm, I'm my best friend and all of that stuff first before anybody else because nobody has access to my inner being, you know, Nobody does.
So to, like, really get to know that part of ourselves that we all have within us and then to not, yeah, like Alexis said, not be afraid to. Share what's valuable and true to yourself with others, even if it's just like little feelers, you know, because it's also not worth it to, like, go and share yourself with people who aren't just who are going to look at you like you're crazy. Because then that reinforces this idea that like, Oh yeah, I'm crazy, I'm alone, I'm all of
this. But just like little feelers like, oh, I'm interested in human design, They're like, oh, what's that? Or or they're like, oh cool. OK, that's going to be very informative with like what you can talk about with that person. This leads perfectly into the next one that we were going to share is that you stop asking for people's opinions quite as much or you don't feel either. OK, if you're outgrowing something, you maybe stop
asking. Or if you've grown, you just don't feel the need to ask anymore. To make decisions like it's one thing to ask and share your ideas and and thoughts with somebody. To mastermind to see maybe. Where like you're not seeing something and you're gaining information and research and insight versus asking for the sake of someone else to validate what you're doing and someone else to push you over the edge. I think that even just our own relationship, we've seen that.
Go from, like, us both kind of leaning on each other and asking for like, what do you think about this? Like, oh, is this OK? Can you help me with this? And it's funny because we still say the same things to each other. Like, you still have me look at some of the things you're creating for your own business. And I'll like tell you my thoughts, but it feels so
different. It's. Like yes, exactly like it's like oh tell me your thoughts have how I can improve, not like I need you to help me. Do this or create this. It's it's really, yeah, it's really empowering, I think, and really fun. I know I've had thought about that, but it's so true. Yeah, I feel like we come to each other more So on. I have this idea and I'm doing it like I've already committed to it. Like I don't need you to tell me to do it. I'm doing it.
And I just would like outside eyes to say like, like, it's good for research wise. When I'm writing things, I want someone else to read it and see, does this make sense from a beginner's mindset or am I writing it at too high of a level? That's something that, like you can't necessarily see yourself. So it's very different when you come into conversations asking opinions from a research mind and like you make the decision within yourself versus, yeah, asking. People, or even like I know
sometimes. I'll send you a voice note. Or, like, talk to you about like, something that's relevant for me that maybe I'm struggling with internally, but I've never like, it's become not this question of like, what should I do, But it's more of like, I sent you a voice message just a few days ago, I think. And I was like, this is kind of like a personal diary entry. But, like, I'm imagining talking to you about it. And by the end of that message, it was like, oh, everything's clear.
I was about to literally, like not even send it because I was like, oh, OK. I'm pretty sure that I just hearted the message to. I don't think I even responded to it. I was like, I was here, I listened to it and I love the life update, but you got this. You figured it out exactly. Yeah. So we anybody listening to this knows this now about us. But we don't talk like regular people. We don't have conversation. Not regular.
I don't want to say that most people do not have conversations the way that we have conversations. And that just has become clearer and clearer to me as I make new friends, or as I'm in different friend groups or meeting new people through my job and whatever.
So many people stay on surface level and then you could know somebody for years and really find out that you don't actually know much about them, like don't even know if they have siblings or don't even know actually the name of their hometown. And you're like, wait, even that is small talk and you don't even know that much about them. Now just imagine asking like what do they actually want out of life or what is the intention behind the career that they're building.
So craving deeper conversations versus the small talk and the gossip and that's just increased over time. I made the intentional choice a while back to try to limit the the amount that I engage with the gossip as in like me giving my opinion on it. It's so hard to do because that's literally pop culture and media is all gossip about other people like. The drama of life, other people's lives. Yeah, and I think.
I can definitely look back at my stuff and even like high school or like through college, getting the deets about like people that I graduated with or like family members and stuff. And I remember feeling like excited at times. You know, like it's so sometimes, you know you get caught up at it and it's like, Oh my God, did you this is not say. This is not to say that we do not gossip like. We definitely do.
It comes about, but you realize how many of your relationships like Carly will share her insight on this, but how many relationships are based solely on gossip? Like this person comes over and you realize that you spent the whole couple hours hanging out with this friend and didn't even talk about her or you or what you want. And it was all gossip about other friends or celebrities or things that just don't have any impact on your life.
Yeah, or like a big one with some people in my life, that. And now it's funny, I don't know when this will come out with them in regards to like the episode we just recorded with my mom. But it kind of has to do with this. Like, you know, we can hold this space and love for people in our lives that we don't want to like, excommunicate from. You know, it's like there's still a big part and you know you love them and you can just hold that space for them, even if they're still like in the
same. What we view from our perspective, the same cycle or the same thing, it eventually like, you know, everything is always growing all the time. And as allowing that space and time allows for it to be more natural and without as much like force and like frustration. But like with some of my even family members, even just a few years ago or like, or friends or, you know, whatever, I started to realize how sometimes it can be. People are having the same discussion over and over again.
Sometimes it's gossip, but like a big thing with I've seen not only my family but other people, if they have a time in their life where, you know, they really felt they loved it and and it's like, you know, the best time of my life was this time And like they talk about the same things over and over and over again, that's obviously feeding something. They're getting something out of it still. Or so they they think. And when you start to realize that that can be really hard to engage with.
And and I had a really hard time. Even sometimes they still do, like connecting with knowing how to meet another person when they're still just like that's their world and that's what's important to them. So that's where, like a sign of growth that like you, you struggle. Maybe it's not pleasant to experience that, but you you struggle connecting in the same ways that you did. And the biggest thing that I've learned is because we're aware of that.
Like if you're aware of that in a situation right now in your life, you and you alone, I and myself alone have the responsibility to, if I desire that to be. Changed I have to only I can only change myself and how I interact with that. So the kind of what Alexis was saying you know we we need to like you know maybe not not engage quite as much in that conversation or maybe bring up something else and and let them be them. You know allow them to live in in their world like that.
But this is kind of going back around to one of the points we made earlier. You don't have to play that role in their life anymore. And you just like taking yourself out of that role of who who you were playing in their own play. Because, you know, our entire life is each our own play, and we're the main character in it, and we assign roles to people in our lives.
The moment that someone takes themselves out of that role, even if it's like a fight for a while, eventually it has to give and things evolve and it opens up space for either someone else to take that same role in their life or for a little bit of like, oh. Wow. OK, This is a new perspective. Or this is a new way of seeing things or or doing things. And yeah, it just takes sometimes time. So that was I'm tangent. It doesn't mean that you have to push those people away.
I think that's something really important to mention because when you feel like you're growing and you're outgrowing other people, sometimes there can be this attitude of I'm better than them or I'm I've just outgrown that or I'm just not in that space anymore. And like that also doesn't make them feel good. You know, like speaking from in the mindset of a friend group per se that still likes to go out on the weekends and wants to go to the bars and the clubs and
whatever. This is just, this is just me, like describing a potential situation. But then you're feeling maybe that you don't want to go do that anymore. And you used to be the friend that they could rely on to text and like, want to go out and party, and suddenly you're not meeting their expectations of who they think you are. You don't have to meet those expectations, but you also don't have to cut out those friends either. Like, you can transition to it.
Maybe you'll go out for dinner with them and then they'll go to the bar If you don't want to go, or you just make different plans with these people, or even even if you were to keep everything the same, just know and be more intentional at the time that you're spending with them. Like, say you do have those friends that want to go out to the bar. Maybe you plan one Saturday a month. You're going out with them and you know you're going to have a
great time. You're going to get that fill with those people and you intentionally spend that time with them instead of just passively making that a part of your life. Same with maybe a friend that gossips and loves like social media and celebrities and that you don't. You don't get past the surface level with this person. Maybe you still love them and you want to hang out with them, and you just know that when they come over, that's the conversation we're going to
have. And maybe you ask a few deeper questions to try to facilitate that deeper conversation, but you don't have to keep engaging in the same way. You can kind of ease them into your change as well. And then also there's always that alternative of like. Okay. You just don't connect in the same ways that you once did. And like then that opens for a really natural and loving separation. I guess I feel like there's a better word to use for that.
But I feel like the moment that you were, you would start that we would start to force, you know that family member or we both experienced this or that friend or or that person into. Behaving, thinking, believing like you do. That's what creates the riff and that's what creates like, bridges being burnt and like, not even being able to have a civilized conversation without a fight brewing or without words being said that just like weren't even met in the 1st
place. Just by, like, releasing this idea that, like, people need to live like you are or do the things that you do, It's just like, yeah, opens up for this natural flow which could be. Kind of them transitioning in a way that you connect, you guys connect even at a deeper level or just moving on and going into the sea of life.
Exactly, Exactly. People constantly come and go from your life, and I think that's hard to remember when you're so in it. And a lot of times I see this happen with relationships and from personal experience. You think I've invested X amount of time with this person and in this relationship and letting it go is failing in some way, even though it's just the end of a cycle and maybe it's come to completion and that's totally okay and it's more fair to you
and the other person. To maybe let go of that, if you're going in different directions and like touch base in the future and if they're meant to come back into your life, they will and just truly believe that you don't need to force it and that's okay. Yeah. Like even Alexis and I, I mean, I don't see this happening, but there's always a potentiality that years down the road, who knows what will happen. And I think, Oh my God, this is
this. I feel like this conversation is heavily influenced by the one we just had with my mom. But we talked about how it's so important to keep the end in mind. Like that is always a potentiality, like the end of things is always there. And that allows us to, yeah, like appreciate the time that we do have even more. Another one we came up with was not explaining yourself. So this also kind of goes with the not feeling the need to ask opinions quite as much, but also
not. Feeling the need to explain the decisions that you're making for quite some time, especially when I decided to travel and people were questioning this my safety and like projecting their fears onto me, I felt like I had to explain myself and with moving to back to Minneapolis and the job I'm getting, I. I kept explaining to people, well, I'm doing this because I feel like this is the right decision for this reason and it's going to lead to this.
And you know, this is a potential career and I can do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like they literally just asked how are you? And you're suddenly saying what you're doing and they're really explaining it because you don't feel solid in the decision and yourself. And then that comes with asking the opinions to like does this the right thing? Like does this seems like
responsible but. When you've grown into the place that you've decided to go and into even the titles, we've talked about this whether you're an influencer, A podcaster, a doctor, a teacher, whatever you decide to be, you don't have to subscribe to labels. But when you're talking to somebody and you can fully step into, yeah, I'm a podcaster and whatever, I just threw my. I just threw my highlighter across the room. I'm talking with my hands.
Oh my God. But you don't feel that resistance in your body anymore because you know that feeling. And if you don't know that feeling, say something. That's a lie and see how your body feels. It's the craziest thing. Even lie by your age. Like say I'm 15 years old or something like that. Maybe you are 15, Say a different age, but like, say it. Your body will be like, no, you're not. Like you know when you're lying. Yeah.
So once that doesn't feel like a lie in your body anymore and you you've really integrated where you're going and what you stand for, you don't feel the need to explain yourself quite as much. It's just like this is me. I think it's like Speaking of like we we we've used the word role a couple of times in this, like that role in the play or whatever. When you feel like totally adept and comfortable at playing that role, like you feel like it is like this balance of it being
like one with your own self. But also understanding that like, we're always more than that role or that identity we're taking on. And at that time it's like one small aspect of like the abundance of our entire being. But when we feel like comfortable with it, like yeah, I am, I'm this coach person or I am Carly even even saying like I am me. You know that it can be
uncomfortable for people. But it's like when you feel like you are adept and capable and able to be that role even if, you know, like, yeah, there's times I'm going to screw up. There's times it's not going to all go perfectly. Like that's the nature of life. But you're we're confident in like the fact that we can handle that and that's always fluctuating and growing as well. So there's never a period where you're like, yes, I finally become the person that I meant
to be like. It just, it will continue to grow from that point. This is a deeper, more shadowworky one, but it's very very important and that's that you're aware of your triggers and anytime you feel one, question it and. Reflect back on it, like, oh, that's an interesting feeling. Like what they just said made me very angry. Like, what was that? Because if you think about it, everybody responds to things differently. Something that makes me angry
might not make Carly angry. She might be like, oh, what? What's your problem with that? I don't like that statement doesn't affect me at all, whereas it affects me deeply. So there's some type of wounding inside that that just strikes you and just paying attention to what it is the person.
Usually it's a person said or did or what they wore or how they chose to present themselves online or how they choose to live their life, The career somebody chose, like if something triggers you or even triggers like that jealousy, that envy doesn't have to be anger. Reflecting on whoa, that's a strong emotion. What's making me feel this way? What is it telling me?
Because it's all your body communicating with you and it's worth reflecting on. Yeah, and I want to bring up another thing with this, because I think this aspect, at least for me, can be even sneakier. But where we have those like triggers from a place of what we view as love, like I have a couple people in my life who could be from my perspective living a much healthier and just have a higher quality of life. Clarity of whether they will choose that or not is upping the
air still. And for years I've, you know, I like didn't even realize that this was a trigger because again it's from this place of like you care for this person. Like you know, you see how they could they could turn the life around or they could really help themselves by just doing these few things or really change change their perspective on things. So it's out of love, but it is a trigger like when you get passionate and like you start to like throw your views and beliefs in their face.
It's kind of like that spiritual what's called activism. It's like, I know this and I know it will help you. You need to do it now. That is a definitely a type of trigger, and it's a trigger that seems to come from like a place of love. But it's again, we're envisioning how we desire that person to be. And I've realized for myself, I I have tried to appreciate more the person that they are because everyone of us are living our
own lives. We're all here to experience what we are experiencing, and only each and every one of us can choose to to do something or not do something. Yeah, that was. I feel this a specific trigger that I reflected on or that I've come to terms with again in that, like everybody is living their own life, you cannot
change them. Because I've wanted to and it's it was years and years of me wanting to and trying to force and but then like what was it is so it has to do with health for me. I love health and Wellness and fitness and same with like spiritual things. Anything to make your life easier and like just be kind to your body and there's so there's specific people in my life. As Carly said, there's always like certain people that.
I really care for them and like love them with all my heart and like want them to live a healthy and happy life. And the way they choose to live is not necessarily what I would recommend. And it's not their healthiest, happiest life. And that's not me projecting. It's like a doctor would agree. And like it's not the healthiest, happiest thing that they could be doing for themselves. But like, what is deeper under there? Like why do I want them to be so
happy and healthy and it? Like deep to the core comes down to like the way they're living is impacting probably their life expectancy and I want them to be with me for a long time. So it's like that fear of loss and that fear of, yeah, fear of lot. Losing that person is like the deeper core, heavy thing. It always comes back to that like personal, like relationship like kind of that it is selfish
in a way. Oh yeah, but it's like a it's like a sneakier version of selfishness, because it's like a selfishness from like, you know, wanting the best, but really you're wanting the best. We're wanting the best for ourselves. Which second comes also, hopefully the best for them. But it's like the question of like, again, wrapping it around, Sorry if I interrupted you also from your thought, but what's best for each and every one of us does not look the same. And some people we're all here
for. I I believe we're all here for specific life lessons to be learnt and how we learn those things is anyone's guess, you know? So just like fighting the reins a little bit and still be there to support. Like with these people I'm talking about, you know, they know I have the tools. They know, like if if they ever want anything from me, like and in that sense I am here with open arms. But like with love, it's just OK. You're free to do what you will. And just appreciate the time
that you have with them. Like, that's a message for me personally with this one. It's just like enjoy the time you have with them instead of every time you hang out with this these people or you're around them, that you're trying to change them and you're choosing to be frustrated with how they're living and you're not really enjoying your time with them, even though they're the people that you love the most. That's usually the people that
you want to change. Which seems counterintuitive because if you love them, you shouldn't want to change them and it's just a whole learning curve.
But just enjoying the time and just again knowing same this is like the same as hanging out with your friend that you know you're probably going to have a gossipy conversation because that's just who they are and like you love them and it is what it is. But just knowing that when you hang out with these people, like you're aware that how they're living is not how you would want to live, and that's okay.
And you don't have to be triggered by it, and you can be aware that it's there, but like, understand where that's coming from. It just makes a world of difference. And yeah, we could go on about triggers forever, because they're in everything. Anything that brings up a very powerful emotion in you is a trigger in some way. Like, there's happy triggers too. Yeah, I think that's another thing with this word I like, almost don't even like to use it
because it's been so over. People say activated if you feel activated by something, but sometimes that's confusing too. Oh yeah, you know, like what does activated mean? It's it's the same thing like having an emotion because everything has its own, like little meaning, like words have their own. I don't know, but you get what we're saying hopefully. Yes, we've talked about a lot of internal things, but there's a couple external ones that we wrote down like. You've grown.
If you feel or you're outgrowing, depends. You're outgrowing if you feel like your environment is not serving you or you're maybe your home doesn't even feel like you anymore. It feels like a different chapter of you, and you're feeling like you want to get rid of things or you've grown. If you have done that, like you've purged things from your life that feel like, OK, we're starting fresh, or you can just envision yourself in a new
space. And you just feel that antsy feeling of like, this is not it anymore. Yeah. So environment changes can be big. I just remember like all the time was growing up where I would rearrange my room and I never really knew why. But now it makes sense.
Like it would how I wish I would have like marked on a calendar or something like when I would because I bet it was quite cyclical like everything here school I probably like read in my room didn't even realize it. But I think also like moving moving things around is another way to like move the energy. And when we feeling like we've outgrown something it can feel like I, I in my body will get this like a little bit heavy feeling like like stagnant like kind of what Alexis was saying.
Just like antsiness for something to change and just feeling a could feel a bit stuck. And I think that's one of the simplest things to do, actually. If you're experiencing this right now and you don't quite know where to go yet, just start by like moving some furniture around, redecorating a shelf, like cleaning up your desk and like, you know, whatever it. And it's incredible how it just is like, OK, wow, OK. I had to really fight my mind on
this little bit and to not feel. Like, is this superficial? Is this is, is it even important for me to buy the poster that I want on my wall? Or is it important for me to buy the tshirt at the mall that I think is cute. You know, because we were both in fashion school and learned so much about fast fashion and the waist and that really, like, hit me And like, I'm still concerned about it, but also.
To a point, I like internalized it for a while and was like, Oh my gosh, I can't contribute to any of this. But and it matters so much like our sense of sight is what we rely on the most day-to-day. It's most people's main sense when you think of things. So having the space that reflects who you are or who you want to be. That's a really easy way to like, start stepping there.
If you have a vision board or a mood board or like an idea of the type of person you're going into, what type of space would she live in? Because even if you don't have the job yet, or you can't move yet or anything like that, you always have control of your space and you can always donate. You can thrift you can do it in your own way, but it's. The It's the easiest thing to change to get you one step closer to maybe that lifestyle that you want to be living.
Like, change what you're looking at every day, even if it's your phone wallpaper. Yeah. Oh my God, that is even. That's such a good thing to say because our. I know we've said this many times, probably before, but our outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world. Like even things that are seemingly out of your control, they are all a reflection of your what's going on inside, because it's our perspective of
the world. So like anytime that something is, you know, not feeling as good or like maybe somebody is just like said something. Oh, great example of like, oh, Italian. Sometimes I can talk to them or I can witness something. And sometimes this very similar thing I could take as being like, Oh my God, that person was so rude. Like, what the heck? They were so upset, like just stupid. And then I could the next day be in a very similar interaction and like not think anything of it.
But it's all based on like where my perspective is. So like what you're seeing as needing to maybe what you're seeing is not connecting with as much anymore. That's like a sign that like you actually have the power to to if it's in your surroundings, change it and you know shift it up a bit or even like okay. What is this situation reflecting within me, within me, emotionally or or spiritually, that is desiring to evolve and grow and change and doing that
work within can often? I've experienced this many times, and I'm kind of in this situation of experiencing it right now. Can make that outer thing go a little bit more smoothly, or like maybe change a bit faster? Another thing with external changes has to do with like watching and consuming different stuff too. I know we've talked about this and I've noticed differences.
In myself because a while back I never really have been into like the crime shows or crime podcasts or murder mystery is I love like, but this is OKI will watch like mystical things. I will watch Game of Thrones and like there's a lot of blood and killing in that, but like made-up things I don't like. The realistic crime things, because I would never have traveled the country by myself if I had the fears that there was someone lurking around every corner.
I mean, I took precautions of course, like I had my own things to protect myself. But what you consume on the regular affects you so much and I notice it in conversations. I can tell if somebody listens to Crime Junkie religiously and watches CSI in law and order, like you can tell when when you're talking to somebody that consumes that stuff. Because there's so much more paranoid and like the lens that they're viewing the entire world with.
Yeah, it's crazy. You'll talk about traveling to a different country and they're just like, yeah, but blah blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah, and they'll spit out all these things and you're like, just read this or it just all this happened to this girl. Yeah, you watch a little bit too much of the news or listen to too many horror stories, but like watching what you consume and like outgrowing that or
you've. You feel more drawn to learning about things, or, you know, listening to podcasts that teach you about a topic that you're interested in, rather than listening to Barstool Gossip Podcast. Which, again, there's nothing wrong with that. But it comes to time in everyone's life where again, yeah, it's no longer spilling the cup as much as it once was. Yeah, instead of the gossipy ones, I've started listening to
more of the interviews and. Like, I listened to call her daddy religiously back in college, and that was way more just like raunchy and gossip, whatever. But now Alex has changed it into interviews with celebrities. So, like, you get that dose of, you know, getting out of your world and out of your mind because sometimes I just can't absorb other people's ideas anymore.
It's like I go to work all day. And then I'm listening to music and then I'm listening to spiritual podcasts or research podcasts and it's just too much. My mind needs a break, but I will listen to interviews with people. So it's like you are learning from that person, but it's not so like research heavy. So I guess that's kind of what I go towards. I go toward, towards armchair expert Jay Shetty, call her daddy once in a while.
Really depends on the person. I don't really listen to it much anymore, but it's interview style now. But yeah, so that's why I feel drawn too. But that changed over the years. I used to watch horror movies. I don't do that as much anymore. Oh, because it sticks in your subconscious mind, like, once I learned about that and how your mind holds on to things in that way. And like, your mind doesn't know what's made-up and what's not.
So when you're watching a horror movie and you feel your emotions spike and like. Those that's even like chemical levels in your body, spiking from the anxiety and feeling like you need to run your body is experiencing that in real life as if you are there. And that's not very healthy, no? So even like, I know for me one of the things that I have noticed change is just another example.
Like I used to, I was telling Alexis, I used to love, love Marvel. Like my dream was to design costumes for a Marvel movie one day. And I just loved that. And then I loved also like the more classical, like drama, love story movies. And when I really noticed about a year ago, I was watching a movie and I was like, OK, so it's fine and all, but like, it's the same thing that's being created for literally decades. Like, can we think of something new? And that was. Like a villain.
Yeah, it's just like feeling that speeding, this thing that it was bringing me so much joy. Like there's part of me that knew obviously that like, Oh yeah, this was a very similar story. But the moment that it's like the light bulb comes on and it's like, do I really need to watch another one of these things or am I like, what am I what am I focusing on? What? What am I putting my energy towards? Like because time is precious. Like we experience it for a
reason. And in that time is how we we spend our energy and energy is even more precious. And once we start to see that, then we start to realize too, like how powerful we are to command, how we are spending our time and our energy here. And it's like, whoa. The last one then that we wanted to focus on and then we can wrap this up, But you have grown, if you look back on past versions of yourself with love instead of embarrassment or shame or regret. I definitely.
I used to really get triggered when Snapchat would say remember this seven years ago today. And it would bring up memories that I don't necessarily want to remember because I was like, Oh my God, I can't believe I did that. Like, so embarrassing. Or then it would bring up thoughts of, like, the rest of the event that aren't on camera. But it's like old memories. And you're like, God, like, that was so dumb. Like, I can't believe I talked to that person. I can't believe I did this or
that. And it was very much that shameful, regretful energy. And like, oh, what do people think of me? Like, do other people remember that I did that at that party? Like, probably not like. People care about themselves way more than they care about what you did. But I would look back on things and feel embarrassed for that version of myself. I would look back on elementary photos of me and think that I was just like, not a cute kid, like like just And I would like
shit on myself. And I'm like, why am I doing that? Like. 12 year old me couldn't help it. Like I looked how I looked. She's kind of cute. We all have a duckling face. You know, it comes to pass. And now I look at her. It's one of my favorite photos ever. I show people so we can have a good laugh, but it's me laughing with myself instead of at myself and being like, Oh my God, that's such an embarrassing photo. It's it's like, look at this photo. This is so like, isn't she funny like?
We all start somewhere, but you look back on those memories with more of a wow, I actually went through that. I made it through. We learned something and you can kind of connect the dots rather than, you know, explaining it away or trying to not look at those photos or deleting the whole album on your phone. I've thought about doing that, deleting a bunch of college things. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to regret that? I'm going to regret not being able to look back and see how
far I've come so true. Every single thing has been a part of what's made us who we are today. And like, deleting photos like that is such a great example of like deleting that memory or like trying to push it down. But really, I still have things that have happened in my life or things that I did or said that I'm like, Oh my God, it's so embarrassing, whatever. But it's also, it's becoming less and less because I'm like, wow, like I learned this from
this. So like this brought me to this person who introduced me to the like, what? How incredible. And if we didn't have those times, then it's so true we wouldn't really be able to appreciate how far we've come or like the really beautiful times either. So it's all just part of the part of the journey and part of like, the growing pains of of being humans. I guess the. Truly, last thing, we can wrap this up with a little bow.
You trust that everything is falling into place as it's as it's meant to. Like literally nothing is a coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences and I've been blown away with what's been but on my path and I'm just like, wait. I will say things like, Oh my gosh, the craziest thing just happened. But actually I'm not even surprised because things like this happen all the time. But every time, every time it happens, I'm like, Oh my God, Carly, the craziest thing
happened. I ran into this person and honestly, not even surprised because this happens all the time, which is also manifestation. Like good things come to me always whatever that type of stuff, but just everything's falling into place. I don't know how, when, why or what's going to happen, but. I've stopped asking opinions because when I think, when I've told people that I am probably going to move, move out of this apartment in March, but I don't know if I'm going to move, move
or whatever. And people keep asking me now This is why I'm careful with when I share and how I share and with who I share because they're like, Oh well, what's your plan? I'm like, I don't, I don't have a plan. You know, I feel like people have known me long enough now that it's like, stop asking me about my plan it. It's a surprise. I don't know. I think so much can happen between now and then.
And I'm not going to try to figure it out because for some reason everything seems to happen for me. And I don't think I'm going to have to make that decision. I think something's going to happen and it's going to be like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. Let's go.
So I think one thing that even human design and and the gene keys or whatever can teach us and from like even more of the Eastern perspective that now I've gained from going to India and just my own like my own life experience and just taking that time to be still, it really shows us that yes, oh, this is
going to be a good example. Our teacher Nanji in India, he talked about free will and how a lot of people we think that free will is, being able to choose like what you're going to eat today, what you're going to do with your life, all of this stuff, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. And I really, just really spoke to me and it might not speak to everyone right at this point. So just take it if you will,
leave it if you don't. But it's like the true free will that we have is are we going to willingly jump on board with life and what life has to offer us and what we have to offer life back in return? We we have the free will to say yes to like what we are here, to do what the universe already has planned or to not do that that is the free will.
The free will is to say yes to what we're here to do or to say like, no, I'm going to try to do this and do this and do this and and go against myself here and there and like, try to be this person that society thinks I'm going to be or to say this yes, I'm going to flow with life. That's the only free will that we have. And that just like, again, some people might not ready to be ready to hear that.
And like a year ago I would not have been ready to hear that, but like that just instantly, I'm glad I'm remembering this because wow, I needed to hear that myself. It's like takes the pressure off and it's like we're all here for a reason and just say yes to that reason, even if you don't know what it is. Life is designed to show you that reason. And that's it's simple.
Hearing you say that makes me think of sharing human design with people, and the coolest thing that I see on almost everybody's face is just a sigh of relief. Yeah. It's like I don't have to have whatever mask it is they have on anymore. Like, whoa, like, you're right. Or this is me. Or I feel so seen. Or wow, this has shown up and it's just such a sense of relief that you're just here to be you and just stop trying to be anything else.
And what's beautiful about this though too is like to have somebody, like, let's say you go to Alexis for a reading. Maybe me Alexis is doing more of that right now than I am. And because I I've experienced this, it was like, Oh my gosh, the permission I never needed. I never knew I needed to just be who I am. But then the growing pains of that too, because you realize, Oh my God, I've been like
putting this mask on for years. And the mask like, even though it didn't feel good all the time, I'm like used to trying to fit into that role. And then that time period of like, I know I've, I've had moments where I'm like, I don't want to be a fucking manifester. I don't want to be a three, six profile. Like that's fucking difficult because I've been not trying to be that my entire life.
And so you have this, I've had this like back and forth of like feeling so liberated by that knowledge. But also that, yeah, the growing pains of like, OK, we have to like shed. I have to shed this, this skin, this mask that I've been trying to fit into. And it's stuck. You know, it's like it didn't fit me. So it's like stuck on my head, like a tight neckline of a sweater that you're trying to
get off and you want it off. But then like, also it's cozy kind of when it's on. But like, it needs to come off for you to be yourself and to like, let yourself just be in your own liberation. But it's hard to like having the whole point in this is having someone like say, Alexis or another human design reader or anybody in your life to kind of to keep that perspective there and to help us through these
times of growth and outgrowing. Because with that growth comes those growing pains is so important because humans are habitual creatures. And even if a habit doesn't feel good, even if a habit isn't really in your highest good, it's still something that is known. It feels safe to our nervous system. So just to have that, yeah, that support to get you through that is priceless. This was a fun episode. I'm glad we did one that was more topic based.
We still free flow and get on tangents, but this is really good reflection honestly to just chat through how we have grown because I feel like I had visions throughout talking about this, about the past things and I'm like well. Actually, we have actually come a long way even in reflecting on how this is going to be episode like 35 or something like that. How much we've changed just from episode one to now is crazy. Just like, listen to episode one again.
Oh my gosh, that's wild. We should do, we should do that one of these times. Like listen to episode one and then come and reflect on it. I think that would be really funny because that was November of last year, which it really hasn't been that long, but wholly that feels like lifetimes ago. I was living in my parents house and like no idea I was going to move here at all. Crazy. So much has happened. So much has changed. So much has changed.
I feel like my big thing that I can say is like, I was realizing that what I thought I wanted to do wasn't really what, and so I had no idea. And I still don't have a clear, clear, clear idea of like what I will be doing, which, you know, I've gotten. I'm more OK with that. Because really, no one knows. Nobody knows. We have ideas, but like ideas and dreams, they evolve and
change. But. Yeah, but to close this out, I did want to mention that yes, Carly and I both do human design readings. So if you are interested at all in hearing about yours, I will put the link to look up your chart in the in the caption of this episode and. It's just so fun to even look at, but it's very overwhelming. I'm going to forewarn you, if you look up your chart, you're going to be like, what the heck
does this mean? So please reach out DM Carly, DM me, or click the link in my Instagram bio. I have my calendar link also in the caption below this episode, but I would love to chat with you about it. I'm starting to do some in person workshops in Minneapolis. And then? I'm trying to get some guides up, like some free digital download guides, because once I looked at mine I really wanted to share it with friends and family and then also understand theirs.
And it just takes so much Googling to try to find information about human design. It's still not super widespread and accessible yet, so I'm working on getting some of those up and then they're really beautiful. Carly. OK, yeah, Carly. They passed the Carly test so. I have those that I'm working on. I'm also doing human design guidebooks. So if you want every part of your chart broken down into more of something that you can just
have all the time to read. It's a digital PDF that goes into like your energy type, feel like your centers, whether they're defined or undefined, all your gates, your channels into detail. So you have, you would have all of that. So I have those as well. Yeah, please message if you're interested. I love talking about it. And yeah, that is the end of this upset. That's all folks. I hope you're having a great day. Wherever you're listening, we're grateful for you guys and we'll
see you in the next one. Bye.