Welcome back to another episode of the Let It Flow podcast. We're so excited. We are here with Laura. She was one of our trainers actually and one of the first people that we met on our coaching Journey. So she's the one that introduced an LP and certified Us in like and success coaching. And I've just always loved her energy. Carly. I know you do too. Yeah. And very much do I could listen Into her talk forever.
She has the most relaxing voice. So, you're in for a treat, here is a little intro to Cara. She is a certified master and trainer of NLP, hypnosis EFT and time techniques. She is certified in somatic embodied processing holds. A first-class be a honors degree in social sciences and Community Development and has years of experience training and certifying coaches in her one-on-one practice. She helps Powerhouse women achieve more without all the
stress and ID and overwhelm. She works with her clients to let go of subconscious blocks, and invite more joy, ease and freedom into their lives and businesses through nervous system. Regulation somatic, practices and subconscious reprogramming. She helps her clients release, the shoulds that field raining work through internal triggers around worthiness and allow more of their unfiltered truth and Essence into their work. So, welcome Cara. How are you? Hey, I'm excited.
I'm I've been waiting for this day to be on. You guys is podcasts. So I'm happy to be here because, yeah, it's been like the third reschedule. Sorry, I really know it. It is all good. We're so excited to have you here today to talk about everything that you stand for, and it's a lot of embodiment practice, right? And we were a part of your sacred. Yes. Program, back in this past summer, I think and I love that the amount of That happen within me and just 4 weeks was
incredible. Wow. I was just so grateful to have you guys on especially as I think Alexis you were on at like 4 a.m. your time. You woke up every Saturday for four weeks for am to be there. And now it's so good to hear that. It really, really helped you. And a lot of the work that I mean, when we will probably get into it, Bob you mentioned about embodiment because when I first started into the coaching space, It was very much about what I was very much into the whole
mindset thing. And I know that under they're not separate, they all feed into each other. But as I've gone, along my journey, I realized the importance of the semantics and the body and the nervous system and all those other things and how they all work together. So yeah, sacred yes. Was all about using your voice and that all comes down to the nervous system as well.
And the fear that a lot of us have to speak up to share our truth and to Really connect to the truth of who we are and let that be expressed through us. I know, from my story, this has been one of the most difficult things for me, you know, a challenge that I had was even just being able to use my voice and believe that people cared what I had to say. And that there was any value in what I had to say.
So that was a journey. And a lot of the women that I work with, who struggle with that, they, they experience it in their body and they try to outthink it, but usually, it's because of something. That happened, maybe in childhood or early life where they were shut down. And as a result, their body went into that kind of like shocked essentially and then it's like imprinted into their body. That when I use my voice, people will shut me down or I will be
judged or rejected. And, and then a lot of times were told, you know, just speak up. Just be your authentic self and just go for it, and it doesn't always work like that when there's an imprint and there's a somatic. Rents that is impacting your
behavior. Well, I think I'm going to tag along on that and just say one of the you've heard me tell you this so many times Cara like what really struck me with you was your embodiment flows and how powerful those are because I think the mindset community in a personal growth Community. We're beginning to move more into the body again but I think Society in general has been so we've all been so up in our
heads for a couple centuries. Now I want to say probably like at least for sure that half the Centre like with the Industrial Revolution and everything it just everything happens in the head and so it's taken a while for us to connect back to the body and I love what you said about, even if you logically know something, if your body doesn't believe it, if there's something still stuck in your body, you can know all you can
know. But it's still going to be kind of the underlying Control of how you live your life. Mmm. Yeah. And I think I always do the example comes to me of when say, someone went into the deceive, right? And they had a really scary experience of a shock or something and then they come out. And then a couple weeks later, you tell them the Seas safe, like you have a limiting belief that the sea is dangerous.
Just get back in there and swim and it's beautiful and the sun just look how the Sun is on his, right? No matter how many affirmations that person does write as much as affirmations can be. Powerful. If they've had that lived experience that has imprinted that, something isn't safe, then they have to work through that within their body, right? Because the mind and the body are then disconnected and we have a lot. We are do we live in a disembodied State?
Because what always on the go. And I think because we're very much just always trying to achieve which I always say isn't a bad thing but we get into that mind energy of. Just how do I make it happen? What do I need to do?
Almost like how body is a hindrance, the fact that your body needs rest or water, or it's like that's annoying because it's stopping me from doing the things that we do I want to do. But really working with the body is going to feed into your ability to do all the things that you want to do and also takes away. A lot of the shame that sometimes the Mind blaming the mindset can have because, for example, going back to that analogy of the person in the, see if we then say you just have
a limiting belief. Come on you need to snap out of it. You need to Change your beliefs that can create a lot of blame within that person because we're not understanding that they've had an experience. So I think, when we start with personal development mindset is a great place to start because a lot of times am I working on the mindset shifts? A lot of things but then it will start to bring up a lot of things that are in the body.
And that's when it's like, okay great, let's work with some of the things that might be stored the energy, the emotions that we never process because we always on the go and we're not taught how to Is this our emotions? And yeah and then we'll feel like there's a little bit more of a release and a relief. And also a lot less shame of blaming ourselves all the time and telling ourselves that we are.
The reason why everything is not how we want it to be because that we have the power to shift it. But also, we've got understand what might have fed into us being here right now. We can always change the future but understanding that there's things that also So lived experiences that impact your behaviors and that is how it is. It's just one hardwired for that.
Yeah, there's a lot of messaging and coaching and spiritual coaching and manifestation of you need to match the energy of what you want to attract, which is true. But then if you do have that lived experience, you saw the Shark in the Water, you experienced that traumatic event, and you're like, okay, I'm just supposed to forget it,
forget that that happened. And that's in the past, and it's all a mad, like, in Imagination. And I'm just supposed to let it go now but you've been reliving it in your head over and over
because that's your fear. So instead of just experiencing the shark once you've experienced it thousands of times in your head and that also builds up in your mind and I can see where that gets can bring on the self-blame of I'm not manifesting what I want because I'm holding on to this thing and I don't want it anymore but I don't even know how to let it go. And I feel shitty about it and I don't even know where to start and then there's that
helplessness feeling of Of, where do I go from here? Hmm. Yeah, exactly. And the thing is like, with that manifestation like I believe we all have the power to, but I think that there's just if you do feel like something is continuously stopping you, then it's like what's deeper Beyond? Just saying the thing or trying to do all the mindset work, there may be something living in the body that is asking. You to see it.
I always say as well, these things aren't anything that we have even things like, anxiety, that feeling is just an energy that trying to tell you something. So it really is just about listening to it. Understanding it a bit more and it got going back to shame as well. Like, we certain emotions, we put in a bracket as of these are bad and we need to always be high Vibe and high energy and positive, right?
But the more we allow space. And no longer demonize certain emotions, then we don't see them as bad, then we let them process and let them do their thing. Let them say to us what they need to say, and they will move through the body, but a lot of times we don't complete the cycle. We just stay in that kind of like stress response because we never let the energy or the emotion process.
So learning how to work with our emotions is actually going to clear, clear, some of that energy in the body. So So that we can manifest the things that we want and be in the mindset and a frame of mine, but I think we try to skip that step. Why? Like, you know, we skip to the positive mindset. When we haven't worked through some of the emotions that are
staying stagnant. Yeah. Well and it's interesting too because it's not easy it's not it kind of really sounds like yeah for real I would nauseous. I was going to say that I loved how you were using they when talking about emotions and kind of talking the third person because I wanted the things, I know that's helped me a lot.
Understand myself, better and work through things that come up is Detaching myself from the fact that the emotions are defining who I am or defining my experience, and not like ignoring them, that's something, completely different. But being able to kind of take that larger perspective and be like, oh wow, this anxiety is coming up.
Interesting, what is this about? What is this telling me our oh wow, that person really pissed me off, like, oh my god, when I was in Rome, we were getting a taxi for Bond. And this guy was just being so rude to me. And luckily, you know, I speaking of a time that I could kind of, you know, hold my own a little bit, I was perfectly fine, but he really made me mad and I took a minute after that happened and I was like, okay, wow, what about that? Really made me frustrated and doing that?
It allows you in my opinion to really notice how you're interacting Actions with people like, yeah, he could have been nicer, you know, but it's more about your perspective and how you were interacting with your world around you, which really can be hard to admit, but it's also so empowering so empowering and then it gives you the tools to like through and I'll pee through embodiment flows through so many things to use those to
grow. Yeah. Because what am I you said about feeling frustrated? It's like think about when were younger and just how many emotions are just shot down. It's like, Just stop, don't be angry. Don't cry. Don't this this this and then when were adults the reason why we like, for example seeing that out, you are frustrated rather than you were able to see it and experience it for the moment. Instead of thinking I'm about, this is bad and that's what I
mean about. Like the meaning that we place on emotions, it's like, I'm angry. This is really bad. I'm just an angry person. I need to be more positive, or I'm frustrated. This is bad. I need to get high. If there's moments where is going to be, it's going to help you to just shift quickly out of it and not just dwell on it, but it's also about once we just see them as just the emotions that just need to have a moment like then you can move through them.
And then I think what happens is when we suppress them we actually still live out of them but we don't think we are. We think that were no longer frustrated or no longer but what we're living out of this caged up like emotions that We never let free and sometimes it's about letting it free in the most healthy contained way. Like if you have anger or frustration, it's like, how can you let that move through your
body? Whether it be, for example, embodiment flows, or some sort of embodied movement, to let it release. You're not going to necessarily punch someone in the face. You're going to go and do it in your own time. But, you know, that's just an example of not letting it stay stuck, if it needs to just move Yeah, I think about little kids and how naturally they just they scream or they cry or they throw something and they just do it.
They don't care. And I know you have a little one at me though is that we have this were born with this innate knowing that we matter like he knows his cries my eye when he's hungry. It matters when he's sad, it matters. And then somewhere along life we we get that taken away from us and we no longer believe our need matter. Ow. Even to the point where we internalize that and we neglect and ignore our own needs because we some how get programmed to
believe that it doesn't matter. But yeah, he's taught me that when you come into this world you just think I'm here for my needs to be met and it's so interesting seeing it. My mom was talks about it as like babies are like baby of any creature is very similar. There are what's the word the concept of When everything revolves around you and everything is like, you need everything.
And then such an example of two, just like that circle of life and how we in a natural and open way not how our society has done it. But it's like that circle of life, you know? Like and it's normal and it's how we learn and really create relationships but so much of that is just stomped on some How like you said somewhere along the way and I think it's probably different a little bit on where it happens, / culture, but it's like, when did that
start? This question, I have that's been lingering kind of goes along with that. And I'd love to ask you cara, because before this, I asked you your human design and you said you're a 46 sacral generator. And it's okay. You don't have to know all the details of what that means. But the 46 Is the archetype of the influencer and the details of that mean that you attract
Community naturally. That's the for, it's the social and just people being drawn to your insights and wanting to ask you questions, like, just knowing that you have something that they can benefit from and they might see you as someone with guidance. And then the six Carly has a six in her profile and that one changes every 30 years.
So it actually operates as a three through the first 30 years of your life where you're Just trying a whole bunch of things and learning and it's like, pick up a hobby. Do I like it? Do I not put it down like fail? Pick up, keep going, try and learn and so then the four and six interact with like you have all of this experience and people are drawn to learn from you through that experience. So I'd love to know what was kind of your turning point.
I think, you know where this question is going like, where you found out that? I guess these somatic practice has helped so much or that you Something to release or what, what happened? That got you on to this journey and specifically these techniques that you use? Hmm, good question. And first of all, I resonate to the whole picking up a hobby, dropping it feeling like I'm failing, like, I don't know what to do with my life. I was like the first hole, probably 30 years to be honest
of my life. I did like hair was really good at, like, camera and hair and stuff. Then I went into a deny just under so many different things to be honest. So yeah, that was, that was a little HD reading there for me. I think I got to the point where I was trying to fix myself so much and it just was like, every time, something else came up. I was like, I've tried to fix this. I've tried to do mindset work,
I'm always seeking the answers. I'm always looking for a savior and always looking for someone to tell me, this is how you are going to be. This perfect human because my perfectionism was coming into my self development. It was like, I need to get to this perfect place and then I'll be valuable and I will have important things to say and people will learn from it. Like, you know what you're saying, about the profile. I didn't see that in myself at all. I'm more.
Sorry, as I have to get to a certain point like a pedestal that I had everyone else on. I was waiting for the day, I got there so that I could be valuable.
And then I actually it was Tori. Washington, actually she's on Instagram. She does a lot of like embodiment stuff around money and that's the first time when I really started thinking, wow, so money isn't just about your thoughts about your nervous system, your generational trauma, and I thought about my generational Trauma from like my lineage of how hard my my ancestors had to work too, you know. How much pain and suffering was in the work and how that can impact a nervous system?
And then the generational impacts of the nervous system that never felt safe. I thought. Wow, definitely I can see why I would, you know, that might that might have impacted me and how I feel when I go to use my voice or how much I believe, I have to work so hard to prove myself and all of those things. And yeah, then I started doing some different flows and things like that and I was like, yeah, this is something. This gives me something that the mindset work alone didn't give me.
I was at a point I'd done like years of mindset work and I was just like, but the thing is, it was more about. I was tired of feeling like I am problematic and I need fixing the big, big thing for me, has been on a shaming, my emotions and not seeing them as something that I need.
To fix because it's just so freeing doesn't mean we, you know, just I always have this conversation with some of my family that don't get it. They're always like, you can't just express your emotions in every moment and I'm like, that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying just Do you just do whatever you want. But yeah that's how I got into this somatic work and working with my nervous system because as well, I was living out of anxiety. I would wake up every morning.
I Like this pit got feeling in my stomach. I would feel like I need to be proactive and need to be productive. I would feel really guilty when I was resting. I'd feel really bad if I wasn't doing things and it became so tiring to live out of that hyper aroused State. And that wasn't just the mind, there was definitely beliefs in there. But that was because my nervous system was constantly in a state of hyper arousal. And I never knew how to shut
down my body stress response. It's wind down and down regulate. So then I was never regulated so I hope that answers your question.
But yeah, it was through that. It was actually also through learning because I'm, I think, education can be empowering and itself, not just tools and techniques, but understanding something, and then really letting that sink in it just gives you the awareness that you didn't have before and then you start to understand your body a bit more and then you're not trying to always Fix things through my network, you're
trying to listen to your body. You'll note like for example, that anxiety is like I notice it now. I notice it, I see it. I feel it. I know where it is in my body, whereas before I just try to push through push through the exhausted and push through the anxiety. So I don't know if there was a specific moment but I think it was more through. Yeah, Finding Dory Washington and them learning more about the nervous system and then I just went into a rabbit hole and was
like, I love this stuff. This is exactly what I've been looking for. So generator of you. Yeah, yeah, doing what lights you up and I really want to see your whole chart actually because some of the things you said in there, I was like, that's identity Center. That's the willpower Center. I'm like, ooh, I would love to see the whole thing but that Sacred Book of reading with you, Alexis would love it. Carly and I are both going through training right now, so he's like eight weeks ahead.
Me those. Yeah, yeah, I'm obsessed with it. Human design has been that rabbit hole for me but that sacral, since your generator cycle generator, I know that's defined and the, the not sell for the misaligned. The move. That is a, my dedicating my energy to things that actually matter, or am I like spreading it out? Like, do I know when enough is enough? And so that's very much what you described with having that anxiety and just like, not knowing, And like overexerting
yourself and yeah. So very, very interesting. I think with Jenna is, as well as in it, that you will know. When something isn't letting you up, you're supposed to follow the path of your joy, which I wasn't doing. And it was depleting me. Completely trying to put my energy into things that don't don't feel me and then I would just go through life feeling just completely drained. So, now, I'm very aware of what I say.
Yes to What type of like, for example, if I'm going to do a program a group program or teach something it's like, does this like me up? Is this something I want to do otherwise at the end of it, I'm just going to feel like I poured from an empty cup. So even listening to what lights you up, takes takes you starting to know yourself a bit more and four. Generators. The descriptive terms are like glittery, like you think light and bright and magnetic and generators are meant to respond
to things. So you Naturally bring the opportunities to you and being a 46. Like the community that is meant to hear from. You is just going to come to you. And you might not know where they come from, they might fall out of the sky. They might say hi to supermarket. But, like you're drawing these people to you, and they don't even know why they're talking to you. But that you have something that is attracting them and then it's up to you to say yes, no, yes, no. And follow that.
Hell, yes. Because when you're doing things that you really love, it gives you more energy to keep doing it. Yeah, definitely I definitely feel that. It's like that. Sacral it like I know when it's a no and it's just about me listening to it because sometimes I get, I've ignored it before and it's never ends up. Well, it's like follow that. Sacral got know that you get immediately. I get it. I sense it. And soon as I ignore it is almost like, I forget that.
I felt it. That's how quick it comes and goes. So it's like you have a split second almost to choose Used to listen to it, because if I ignore it, I I forget that it ever told me know until it's till it's late and I'm like, oh yeah, should have listened. Looks what's happening now? I'm like oh yeah, I remember my body. Telling me something about this. It's so funny because no matter what type you are in human
design. I think everyone can agree that you've had an experience where something happens in your like I knew Ooh it. I knew that was a bad idea. I knew that was going to happen and that's when you're not following whatever Authority you have. There's I think seven different authorities that somebody could have but it's always that feeling like ah I should have listened but yeah sometimes you don't and that's okay.
And you're supposed to experience those parts to because that teaches you again and brings you back it, expands something in you. But I think everything that is a challenge and a regret or something that you thought, I shouldn't have done that. When you look back, Can you think about what expanded in you it was meant to be?
It was meant to expand that thing, whatever lesson, whatever growth you've got from the lesson, you wouldn't have got without it, so then you're like, okay, the universe still do this thing regardless? Yeah, I relate to that so much. Just this past year. And I know I speak of my authority. I'm emotional thority in human design, and I'm really learning how that works for me. And For me, I'm seeing it right now.
Is like, I am so easily hyped up and so easily excitable and if I say yes, in that excitement and I don't ride out, the kind of wave of my emotions. Same, even it's like even if it would have been the right decision, if I don't write it out through that, I can always question, I always questioned it like oh shoot did I just get excited for it and I would say like this past year was a little bit of that. Like I don't regret what doing the training.
I don't regret any of it. Because I learned so much and I know it's coming back around and I know knowing a tool like NLP, is it mean it really truly has changed the way that I communicate with people and also communicate with myself, but I really very much like, Alexis at the beginning of the year you were here and I think I was excited about It it, but it was, it's my energy. I feel like it's kind of fluid like that, like, I just kind of like, oh, got excited with you.
And then it was like, oh, like big and beautiful, and exciting. And I said, yes. And I loved it, but then actually, I can kind of Pinpoint. When you hosted your sacred? Yes, it was the first time that I had taken a breath almost. And been like, what have I been
doing this year? So far, learning so much knowledge is like, you never regret gaining knowledge because knowledge is amazing, but I had that was when I started realizing I had been Kind of forcing things and forcing myself expression into kind of like a one little Street and that kind of, yeah, I thought that was kind of the start, the shift of my awareness, a little bit, and the last, like, six months, especially of last year, it was kind of like whoa.
And it really made me realize that like it's so important to take those moments too. Breathe and to just be still. And I think this also depends on your design a little bit to, for me, as an emotional Authority. Like it's very important for me to be still and for me meditation really helps, but for another person, it could be something else because I am. I'm so easily hyped and so easily like, oh yes, what are we doing? What are we doing?
And then realized, wow, I had completely ignored parts of myself and there were things in my body that were still not being addressed. Just Mmm. What do you do now to what does the emotional wave look like as in do sleep on it? Or what do you have to do to honestly, I'm still figuring it out. It's like I mean sometimes big decisions we've laughed about this Alexis and I but like sometimes it can be like up to a
week like I just big things. I just really need to sit on them and really have that natural flow and I'm learning. And I had a reading done last year and she said for a lot of emotional authorities, plus I'm a manifest and manifest. There's also have this like natural flow as well when they are super creative and like inspired and downloading and
then you have to rest. And so the emotional on top of that she's like sometimes people find that their cycle is two weeks and so I'm really figuring that out but it's like fine. In that level of neutrality, where I'm not super attached to it anymore, like it's still kind of excites me, but it's not like taking me over if that makes sense.
Mmm, so interesting because as everyone has different ways, don't man, it is really about us, learning our own weight in order for us. That's going back to when we all have done it, right. We've all just sort education all the time and wanted so So much information which is great. But then getting to know yourself is a self job. Like it's an internal job. It's really there is no workbook that just makes you. Oh I know myself.
Now I know that I need to and it comes from making mistakes, quote, unquote, mistakes and quote unquote, feeling and doing things that you kind of regret for you to realize. So for you to really go back and know that How can I do it differently or how can I follow my truth more? How can I listen to my gut? And my instinct and it's a journey. Yeah, and I've been telling people kind of laughing about it, but I'm like, no, seriously, the last few months specifically, I'm like, I am in
self-study. I am literally studying myself and that is the most invaluable Priceless thing that we can do. And it's, again, it's not easy, and it looks different for everybody. And having the tools that we've all been talking about are so so important because it can be really like you gotta go into the kind of the dark depths of who you are and work it out that way, but it's beautiful.
And then you understand so much more how you interact with the world and interact with choices, that arise interact with other people. But yeah, it's hard to do because in our society T. We are taught to go do it. Oh, what papers do you have to your name? What are you doing? What are you making? Are you like full? Well, this questions. But truly the most invaluable thing is something that nobody else can see. They can see the after effects kind of of it. But all of that work inside, you
don't others, don't know. No one will ever know. You can maybe understand what a person's going through if they're in that time as well, if you've done it as well. But it's yeah, it can be tough but it's so beautiful. Yeah. And so with it. Yes, it really is, there's a million different techniques. And I've been in a learning phase the past year and absorb
so much information. I'm constantly reading, I just opened a workbook on ayurveda as if I need another topic to dive down the rabbit hole on. But what What would you suggest to somebody that's interested in getting into these somatic techniques? Maybe they've read a bunch of mindset books there in that phase of, I'm reading all this stuff. But nothing is happening for me and I'm ready to try something new. Of course, they can work with you directly or hire a coach or
invest themselves in that way. But if somebody were just alone in their bedroom like me right now, what could I do after this call, that would be beneficial to me or be a good place to start. Well, I think introducing just movement, however, your body wants to move. It could be like feel how you're feeling if you can not everyone can immediately connect to the senses of the body because we've been so disconnected for so long.
But I would say in the most loving gentle and non-judgmental way, just start to. I think that means come out for me here which is, first of all, what are you believing these fixing about you? Because a lot of times, I guess, what energy are you going about the mindset work from initially, because NLP and everything? I love mindset works, I don't want it to seem like I don't, it's just what energy are you
going about it from? If you feel like you are constantly seeking to be fixed, really identify that? What is it that you're telling yourself about yourself that needs fixing? Because that's always good. You're never going to feel like you get the answers if you're always seeking more answers, that's why Always going to be studying the next course, and buying the next thing and did it
at, right? So as a, as a, you know, these things that we do on their own, there's nothing wrong with them, it's more about understanding what's driving it. So if there's a drive that you're always going to need fixing and who you are is not enough, then nothing's ever going to be enough, right? So start with that because that is kind of mindset work. Then start to just bring awareness to how you feel sometimes and then bring in some more. Movement.
So you're feeling frustrated, how would, if that frustration? This is the part of and shaming, right? If that frustration, you didn't see it as bad, right? And you uncensored it, because shame sensors. Shame says, we can only do this in a small way. Don't move too much. Don't, listen, how would it want to just move through your body and just give yourself even 1 minute 2 minutes, just to let whatever your body is feeling.
Do its thing. Even if you're feeling like stressed or sad, or just let that emotion connect to it, and move, and bring in some movement in your life, whether it be dancing, or just whatever, I let your body do its thing for about. I think that's the place to
start awareness. And then, I would say after that start to understand a little bit about the nervous system and what your window of tolerances, meaning know, once you start to learn Learn about it. Your capacity is when you meet, when you get to the threshold, right? And then you go into a hyper aroused State, you start, you know, what's going on. So, instead of ignoring it now, you know, I'm at my capacity, how can I return to safety?
So it's all about safety, bringing in a sense of safety. So, when you feel that anxiety or you feel that you're at your threshold reminding yourself. That is safe, I'm safe and doing whatever. Ever, you need in that moment to bring yourself back to a safety, a feeling of safety, it doesn't, you know, it takes a little bit of practice and it's an ongoing thing, but whenever were in those hyper arousal States is all about, we don't feel safe. We feel like we need to get to
that next thing. We need to get to that next achievement because something was like we're running away from a bear. Like we're running to something, your body needs to know it's safe. So small things too and you don't have to do big massive practices it's reminding your body incremental, small things which increases the window of tolerance so that you know. Okay. Oh I can return to safety.
I'm not always going to have to be in the threshold and on the edge of my window of Tolerance. I can come back to safety. Hopewell, what I find so funny that people don't talk about more is that there's so many tools. Tools out there. And when you're learning about that you might want to try them all and stack them all up, and put them all into your morning routine, all into your evening routine and I want to use crystals. I need to meditate, I need to do everything.
And so many people are doing things that they absolutely hate. And I compare this to the gym because I found a love of weightlifting and that's the type of exercise I love and I still felt like I need to do the StairMaster everyday. I need to run. I need to do x y z and That would make me hate going to the
gym. So therefore I wouldn't move at all because I was trying to force myself to do movement that I hate and I think as the same advice, I would give to somebody for all of these practices to just do what resonates with you do what you love and they can and will change over time. And I personally have not gotten super into yoga. I did, when I was in Italy, I loved it with Carly and then I came home and I kind of dropped off of it again.
And that's okay, not shaming Myself by saying man, I'm a failure. Because I didn't get up and do yoga this morning and I'm finding the practices that work for me instead of forcing myself and making myself hate the process anyway. Like enjoy the journey. Yeah, I think that's so key. Is she? Because again, when it comes to doing all of these practices, were probably doing it from that need to always achieve and we bring it into. I need to do 10-step, do I need
to do EFT? And then I need to do meditation then yoga, then Pilates. And that drive achieve energy goes into that now, and then it's a force. So learning your body means you start to learn what your body likes, what it doesn't like what helps? What doesn't help someone like might really like breathwork. Someone, might not someone might not even like meditating because if you are, if your nervous system doesn't feel safe in Stillness, something like meditation can be triggering.
So, it's about again, knowing what your nervous system can handle. Handle what capacity has and easing it into different things and learning what your body
likes and what it doesn't like. So I think that's such a good point because the more, if you force yourself to do something that you don't want to do, because you think you should do it and it's going to just drain you and deplete you again, anything when it comes to rest and restoration and restoring your nervous system back to safety, it can be anything that rejuvenates your mind-body resources so that can be going for a walk that can be just whatever.
But it doesn't need to be one thing. It really is about restoring a sense of safety and restoring your mind-body resources. However, that looks to you and your body trust in your body. Literally, sometimes during the day, I will just like do forward, fold. Just like stand up and leaned over and put my head towards my
feet, just that alone. Sometimes for me can completely shift my mood and shift my state of being and I wanted to say as well that some people are made to have the same routine for an insane amount of time. I have found, I am not that person. And I have realized from me, what is so helpful to just block out time that I know is my time to spend on myself and right lately, it's been looking like meditating but I could not meditate three years ago it Yes,
I don't know. There's also a bunch of different types of meditation and that's something I learned for a while. I thought meditation was just like, literally the only thing way to meditate was to sit cross-legged and like, close your eyes and just likes it and that's a type of meditation to. But there's so many different tools that have something interests. You. There's probably so many even things below that that like the Tree. You know that goes down with the roots.
And so for me right now, my meditation is looking like using Amala and I just repeat a mantra and that's so helpful for me because I'm also sometimes too when you're sitting or even doing any exercise or anything to help regulate your system, it can be like, okay when when am I done like when am I done? So for me having that like one necklace worth of beads and Mantra repeats is so helpful. And I also think that we make it so complicated like, yeah, just putting on a song, you like and
moving your body. Like, that's kind of what I Envision that embodiment flow being. And I remember one of the first times that I went and was just called, I was called to dance in my room alone to a song, I really loved and it was fascinating. This is going to turn into kind of a question for you cara but it was fascinating how my body wanted.
Move and I was completely alone but this like Shane came up like embarrassment of like just like literally like moving my hips back and forth and I think so many of us and I'm sure men have it too but I think women especially moving that hips moving that sacral creative Center can be like there's just a lot of potential shame around that and how would you suggest
to work through that? That is been a big thing for me and still is still ongoing even with the somatic practices that I do. When it comes to the sacral and that kind of movement, there's still that tendency that comes up to censor it. This is too much. You know, I think for me personally, it came out well for
women. Yeah, it really is, there's a lot of Shame for me. It came from I guess growing up in like the Jen, that tells you that those things are bad and sort of can make you feel disconnected from your, your creative Sexual Energy and all of that. And as I've been saying it's about, just gradually, like there is no if you struggle in to like, move your hips, that's okay. Just ease into it a little bit.
And I think this even comes down to pleasure and how I'm Comfortable. We are to feel just joy and fun and freedom and creative expression.
And I just put for me, one of my practices to work through that was putting on like what you said, putting on some music and just intentionally moving and moving my hips and letting them do what they do. And the more I did that the more relaxed and free, I came with it but it is just making it almost like a practice, not of regimented practice that Have to do but oh get like in the middle of your day you've had been working for a few hours, get out of move those hips.
Let like and experience, even experienced what's coming up in your body if there is that shame and cow, can you move through it and bring in a little bit more of that relaxation and freedom as you do but I think it comes gradually bit by bit. Oh access you look like you need to say something. No I'm just absorbing Having me because I shared a tick tock yesterday about a conversation. I had with a ten-year-old, looked at my Tick Tock and said, why don't you dance in your videos? That's it.
It was just the most obvious thing to her. She's like, Tick-Tock is for dancing and there's a lot of dancing on there. And there's two things with this whole conversation that really struck me because I said to her I don't really know. I just don't dance. I never have danced. I grew up with fell. People that dance really close to their bodies or the dad move dancing and people jokingly making fun of people like you can't dance unless you're on the dance team.
You can't dance. It was it's not a very cultural thing like in the midwest like I don't know many people that dance naturally. There's a countable amount of people that I think can that just naturally do it and I just didn't grow up in a family like that. So I don't dance on my Tick Tock, and I would like to start now that you're saying this, as silly as some of those dances are, I feel like that would really push my comfort zone and
another small tent tangent. I watch Dancing with the Stars this year and I was just so lit up by watching them move and just kept feeling. I wish I could dance that way
and that's kind of a jealousy. Mm assign an emotional sign in me that that's Think I might want to do or try and there's really no such thing as bad dancing, because dancing is just movement, and I don't know, we've put labels on what good and bad dancing is, but I definitely know that that is uncomfortable for me. We have another coaching friend who puts dance into all of her programs and every time she starts a call, she plays music and makes everybody stand up and
move. And I feel really clunky and uncomfortable when she makes us do. Do that and I have that thought my head like pin, is this going to end when can I stop flailing my arms around? I don't like it and I just want to get more comfortable with it, but it's funny. I just I feel this like laughter because it's such a silly thing to make a big deal about.
But and I think what you said that as well as like movement and dance can be to set their the same thing, but for anyone who's like I don't want to do it because I On Dance. It's like starting with movement because there is no right or wrong to movement. I don't I don't go on Instagram and even though I called myself embodiment coach or so my coach I don't go on Instagram and do that stuff, only because it just doesn't feel authentic to me to be on Instagram, doing that.
But again, it's like finding what is your authentic way to do it, whether it be that you do want to just do it in your room and do it in your free time or if you do want to do on Tick-Tock or whatever it is. Yeah, I think we can be so uptight can't. We just so like everything. So serious. That's something I always. So, again, learning and have lamp because I didn't feel like fun had a place in my life. Like, what is the purpose of this? Is it going to get me where I
need to go? Is it productive? Am I getting anything out of this? So even that fun element we shut down so much, and if you find it fun, Then great, if you don't find it, funny you don't want to be on ticked up doctor but if you find it fun and it's like, allowing the fun to just be expressed a little room, you know. Yeah, I had a coaching call a while back with a friend actually.
And she loves expressing herself through photography and she does it now as her side gig loves it, and during that coaching call she about was going to sell ER camera. She had it prepared to just sell it because she felt it was a waste of time and I kind of dug into that. I'm like, well what makes it a waste of time? She goes. Well, I'm not a photographer and I said, you take photos, don't you?
She's like, yeah, well, I guess but I'm not a photographer and I googled the definition of photographer for her and I said, I person who takes photos and I'm like, girl, you are a photographer and you love doing it. Why are you selling your camera? And she said that she had Idea in her head that I think a lot of us do that. If something were doing or a hobby isn't making us money, it's a waste of time. I think that's a huge cultural
thing in the US for sure. But then also on social media, whoever you follow, everyone's making their side gigs and their personalities into monetary achievements and monetary like sources, like sources of income from what they're doing and they're, they're having fun doing it, but it's not just a hobby for the sake of having A hobby and I think that's hard to find. If you ask me what my hobbies are. I don't know.
I don't really know. But I would say yeah I'm the same you know for me my fun is things that people wouldn't find fun. Like I really enjoy getting a massage like to meet one. Like I find it fun like to go to the massage face and no one needs to force me to go there. I'm like I had a really fun morning or just sing I sing and just things like that, I don't have a hobby. That would be seen as a hobby. Like, I play. My sister plays football for us up, while you guys call it
soccer. And I'm the only one in the family that didn't have something like that. And I was like, I just don't know how to have fun, but my fan just looked a bit different and I think that's okay too. And when it comes to Hobbies, it's even out expanding our capacity for fun to see that it doesn't always have to have an outcome. Come or a goal or a purpose for it. It's literally for the enjoyment of the self and that in itself is a good enough.
But if you enjoy it, even if you're not good at it, if you love painting and just do it because the energy that it will bring will actually probably fuel a lot of your creativity and other things that feed into what you you do anyway. And even if it doesn't, you just had fun. As I don't think finally something we value You at all. I love that definition. Yeah. This is a message that's very near and dear to my heart because I'm kind of, I'm kind of the opposite.
I have like an endless abundance of hobbies. I don't know what to do with in like my dream for years and years and years. Since I remember the thought of working for someone has always just like uh, What. Oh, But and I've always, I've always envisioned myself turning my hobbies into like a form of income. And I realized big time this year that like I I don't I'm not saying that that's not possible but it's for me.
Very important for me to really be aware of the intention with which I do that because I realized that I seen this pattern of myself when I Turn to try to monetize things, it just kills it. And so I realized that my intention, my true intention. My natural inclination is impact and whatever I do impact for first of all myself, because I also think that if we're not expressing the truth, for of who we are for first and foremost ourselves, then it's still not
quite there. And then that doing That they'll naturally impacts others and changing that mentality and it still comes up in me. But making sure that when I go and start Church to do something that my attention is impact in, whatever I'm doing, and money is obviously important, but it's not the driving Factor has helped me so much but that was really hard to admit and I can't tell everyone that yet like oh my God if I were to tell my dad, that okay.
Thank you, spoiled brat like what we're doing. But I mean, I also am so excited because I've had so many conversations like this with people in the past couple years. And I do think that Society is changing and we are lucky enough to be in a society. However, many problems it has. We are also blessed in the fact that there are so many options
for us today. So many ways to, you know, do more than just Survive. And I think sometimes we can, like feel guilty for that and feel like we need to. I know this is something I've gone through. I realized like, I, for a while, had this idea that I needed to suffer more to like, make it okay, that I had the life I had, but like, aren't we trying to like transcend that and like, you know, we don't want to suffer, we want nobody to
suffer. So, why do we want ourselves to go through challenging and situations that aren't fun when we don't need Need to do that. And I think we feel it's morally Superior to have had the hard life, the hard, Gras, the challenge, which obviously some people genuinely have.
But when we, it's about that feeling of, I'm only worthy if it was really hard and that's going to make it really difficult to follow the path that lights you up and the follow the path of Joy because if Joy and lighting up is not as worthy or you're not, you're not as deserving if that's the path. Then you're always going to subconsciously go for the harder. Most challenging difficult route to get there. Those are always the stories
though. You know, when you hear motivational talks and stuff is always how difficult and how challenging, and how hard it was sometimes, motivational talks demotivate me, you know, because I'm like, wow, as much as You'll be motivational right now. I don't want to experience all of that in order to get. So we just talked about this on our last thing. I think of it. I don't know. We just yeah a little bit.
I that's been a huge theme for me and you know, I have been so blessed to have had a beautiful childhood in like, you know. Yeah. Pink shit happened in like you know, wasn't always always perfect but I am really Blessed with the life. I've had so far and I think we can get so caught up in like all the biggest coaches and biggest people in this industry. I feel like I've had these like, Wharf, like horrible experiences that like you. No one wants to have happen to them, if possible.
And I'm not saying that they are telling people to go have those experiences. Absolutely not. But it can make you and this is comparison and comparison is just a death trap, but It can be like oh wait what do I have to give? If I haven't gone through these like near-death experiences are these like completely destruction of my life, like what do I have to give? And I'm like, oh my God, but isn't the point of doing all
this work? You know, so we can get out of that cycle so I kids can get out of that cycle and not have to keep suffering. Like I hope there is a time where coaches are not necessary. We're all of this therapists and The men, the work that everyone's doing right now, which is beautiful, but like I hope it's not necessary someday because that's the goal, right? But sometimes we can get. Yeah. And that's like, oh, being like, Oh, I have to suffer more to bring value to others and it's
so stupid. How's it going to say? Who you bring value to differs right by your journey? Someone's Journey could resonate with one person who really is, you know, going through it the way they did and then someone, Else's story could relate and resonate with someone completely different and someone who's had a life of less suffering could have other experiences that you know someone else could resonate with more. You see what I'm saying? So that was just my little add to that.
True, I wrote something yesterday that I'm just amazed that it came into this conversation. I didn't share it yet. I wrote it for I'm and then just didn't feel inspired to press post. I don't know why and so I closed my laptop but I meant to bring it up here I think. But what I wrote was there's no trauma that pushed me into my spiritual journey or this work. No significant event that made me say enough is enough, no injury, no breakup, no toxic workplace.
I was propelled by the mundane, the potential truth that wherever I was at was as good as it was ever going to get repeating the same routine morning and night weekdays and ends in an endless cycle with no end in sight. The idea that life is meaningless nothing I do matters and I'm here to survive and die life is pointless and I have no purpose. This depressive thought was my motivation because I knew it was total BS and I'm here to prove it wrong. Hmm.
So thanks yeah. And I think so many people will resonate with that story you know someone who just felt low and didn't have purpose. Not. Sara Lee a moment or a life-and-death moment. There's people out there that will need more experience will have experienced that and resonates so deeply. And that in itself is suffering. It's just in a different way, isn't it? Hmm. I feel like I'm vast. Majority of people are in the spot that we are. Yeah, exactly.
I've no I haven't ever heard explained like this. So this is really interesting for me to hear as well because I guess I always Think of struggle and challenges and Trauma to propel people. But then hearing that do are very aware, that that wasn't your path. And still, you are very passionate about helping other people who may also feel the same.
I don't think any, and I think this comes down as well to the I guess like, we think that being a certain place in your life means that you will be void of Friend. So this is why we'll always everyone's trying to strive to make more money or to be at a certain place in their life because we believe that we will bypass the human emotions once we get there, we'll never feel sadness. Will never feel depressed or whatever.
If that were true, every celebrity would be living it up and having great great lives, which we know is not the truth, right? So, I think doesn't matter where you're at in your life, or how much money you have or the upbringing that you came from. You can still experience. Perience your own, you know, experienced challenges and suffering in your own way that is still of value and important
for people to hear. And then there's people that have like, the generational trauma and the deep deep trauma, as well, which have their their Journeys to. But that's just the way I guess. Life is in a sense, everyone has their own different Journeys, and well mental, I keep going and get You know, I don't want to say better that's not the right word but evolved like the spiral higher to, like not stay in the same place and yeah, just like I said, dance for everyone.
I like to say that we're here to expand and see how good it can get, hmm, because we're very aware of how bad it can get, but people don't normally turn around and look at the other direction. If it can get that bad, it can also get that good. Yeah, is something the one not really taught to think about how we can have. We can have joy and he's and experience life to its full. We don't really who don't really entertain that thought too much to it. No we don't and that's why we're
here. That's why we're here. Hey that's why we do what we do letting it flow. Let me flow. This has been such a good For seishin, It's Gone on so many twists. And turns house is all about really I was thinking about like am I going on too many different places here?
No we are huge fans of tangents because yes you never know what magic is going to come out of it and I always trust that whoever's listening is going to get the message that they're meant to get from it and everything is just perfect. So we're so happy that you came on and I want to give you a chance to tell us what's going on in your world. Everyone can find you and what's coming up for you because I see that you are going to launch a certification program this
summer. Yes. Finally, this been something that's been for so many years. I thought one day I will and then I've done different things trained in different certifications and now it's time to have my own. My very own just me. You know, I as you guys know, I, I actually launched us if it's ation last year with a business partner that didn't work out. And now I'm like, I just want the essence of me to be essence of that flows into what I'm doing.
So I'm excited for that because I think what I'm going to do in this certification. So yes I'm going to be launching a certification before summer this year 2023 and it's going to include some Mattox embodiment flows. Working with the nervous system NLP because I still love NLP mindset work and all of that and have some great master classes and things like that. But my vision for this certification is that coaches leave feeling fully equipped
with. Not just one set of tools, but a vast holistic way of coaching and also understanding the foundations of coaching and how to be a coach without just the technique, everything that I felt. It was missing when I was trained. I'm including the certification so that when they leave, they have had their own self development.
They've had done that the inner work, but also they understand the fundamentals around the mindset, the nervous system, the mind-body connection and how to work with your client, with all of that. So I'm going to bring my whole heart and every part of me to the training. So yeah. Huh, I can feel it already. I'm like it's day one over here, so it's absolutely see this. But she's glowing. I was going to say your face is lighting up talking about this about following, what lights you
up and that that energy. And it's also a symbol to myself of saying, yes to myself. Not anyone else, you know? Like not fitting into a box just being me and That was going to be leading as I do this certification. So if anyone's listening and you've been considering being a coach and you want to learn lots of amazing tools and techniques and the somatic size of everything as well. Then yeah, follow me on Instagram is at Kora, Jane Lynch, and of your proud of her certification.
I'm assuming there's going to be meditations. And I tell you, they are the most relaxing meditations ever. Listen to sit down. Take a breath. I don't know what voice comes out. When I do the meditation by like I just go into like this very deep, but Chauncey boys, I didn't even know because when I did this at it, the meditations on that law certification program. So many of the students were like, oh, your voice is so relaxing.
I'd never really thought about it before and could you guys was telling me I was like, oh wow. Well yeah, I would definitely be including meditations in my and hypnosis and one of these things it's going to Skyrocket with your energy and you just being so So lit up by this idea and what you're doing, it's you can feel it, like we feel it Carly, and I feel it and I'm sure people feel it, just listening to you talk about it. So I'm super excited to see how it goes.
We'll be following. Thank you guys, thank you. So if you enjoyed this conversation with Cara, please give it a share. Tell your friends. Leave us a rating and review. It really does help and we will see you next time. Bye. Okay, bye.