#70 - So, Help Me Dave
Have you done something heroic? Have you put yourself in harms way to help a stranger? Yes? Then you're a dumbass! Stop being such a show-off.
Nov 21, 2013•10 min
Legends In Their Own Minds
Our 2 "Legends" wax sarcastic about a wide range of topics - 10 minutes at a time. From bad drivers, to binge eating, and everything in between, these 2 "Legends" can make a mountain out of any molehill.
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Episodes
#69 - Pet Pests
You may love your pet and we probably feel the same way about ours. But let's get this straight, we don't really like or even want to know about your dog, cat, iguana or squirrel monkey. We're weary pet owners and we are not afraid to say it. Woof.
Nov 19, 2013•11 min
#68 - No Surprises Please
Everyone loves surprise parties, right? Uh, that would be no, especially when it comes to our 2 curmudgeonly Legends. Don't even bother trying with Dave and Johnny, they'll just be sarcastic and ruin it.
Nov 14, 2013•10 min
#67 - Filthy Hoar-ding
How much is too much? When it comes to adult beverages Johnny and Dave agree - there is no such thing. When it comes to holding on to old worldly possessions, they couldn't disagree more.
Nov 12, 2013•11 min
#66 - Dirty Old Men
When do we, as males of our species, become creepy, dirty old men? Yes we may indeed be older, but our minds are still in that proverbial youthful gutter.
Nov 07, 2013•10 min
#65 - Tailgate Between My Legs
Ah, the fun and camaraderie of the great American football tailgate; complete with heavy doses of alcohol, tobacco and obnoxious fans. And we love it.
Nov 05, 2013•10 min
#64 - My Weenis has a first name
We're the kind of guys who just come out and say it. No euphemisms for us. But some people are a bit more careful, especially about the words you use for stuff ... "down there." Discuss.
Oct 31, 2013•10 min
#63 - Ass-specially for you
Ah, the joys of becoming an older man and the intimate details of a "special" medical exam. Keep your fingers ... uncrossed.
Oct 29, 2013•10 min
#62 - You Should See Our New Menu
Our 2 Legends' "favorite" local chain restaurant has a new menu. But that doesn't prevent them from recycling the same old complaints.
Oct 24, 2013•10 min
#61 - Highway To Hell
Let's face it, our 2 Legends are essentially misanthropes. ($10 Word Alert) And just when they think they can trust people again, they get screwed.
Oct 22, 2013•11 min
#60 - Penny Wise and Penny Foolish
They say a penny saved is a penny earned. We say: Really??!!
Oct 17, 2013•11 min
#59 - Toupe or Not Toupe
Is bad toupe a redundant term? Johnny is bald and proud of it and he can't understand how a man could even think about wearing a wig.
Oct 15, 2013•11 min
#58 - The Sugar Low
Our 2 Legends just want to eat what they want and they don't appreciate their loving, caring family members worrying and nagging them. Can't they just have their cake and eat it too?
Oct 10, 2013•10 min
#57 - The Long Road of Dread
Dave and John both went the distance recently. Hey, get your minds out of the gutter, we're talking about driving ... in their cars! Give me a break...
Oct 08, 2013•10 min
#56 - T'aint The Season
October is here, time to pick apples, watch the leaves change color and buy a Christmas tree. Wait, what? Yup... it's time to grab, push, shove, there are only 84 more shopping days.
Oct 03, 2013•10 min
#55 - Total Destruction
Is it possible for a thief to steal your car and leave it in exactly the same condition he found it? It is when it's Johnny's wife's car.
Oct 01, 2013•11 min
#54 - Holy Handy Work
A stunning revelation in church which had our 2 "legends" scratching their ... heads?
Sep 26, 2013•10 min
#53 - Wrong 'Tattoo'
Sometimes tattoos can be difficult to look at, and even harder to understand. Of course it took Dave a couple of minutes to realize we weren't talking about Hervé Villechaize.
Sep 24, 2013•11 min
#52 - No Planes - Just Trains and Automobiles
Dave doesn't like to fly... but that won't stop him from traveling half way across the country! There's no drive too long (or absurd) in his mind!
Sep 19, 2013•11 min
#51 - No Soliciting!
Stay away... That's all we ask... when you see the 'No Soliciting' sign, just stay away! If you 'Don't Ask', we 'Won't Tell' ... you off!
Sep 17, 2013•10 min
#50 - Hello My Name is Hurl
We've been known to enjoy an adult beverage or 2... and sometimes we've been known to have more than 2. Sometimes, as many of you know, that's not a good idea.
Sep 12, 2013•11 min
#49 - Fantasy Football Island
Ahh our 2 legends 'tackle' fantasy football (pun intended). We're obviously better at puns than fantasy football...
Sep 10, 2013•10 min
#48 - Keepin' It Real
We always try to call things as we see them.. Sometimes that works for us, sometimes it doesn't....
Sep 05, 2013•10 min
#47 - Sex on the Back Nine
Sex after marriage - such a wonderful memory... well, it's almost certainly just a memory... And usually a very distant memory too.
Sep 03, 2013•10 min
#46 - Text Me You Love Me
They say 'texting makes the heart grow fonder'... Well, we think that's what they say... At least texting leads to less fighting. And after all don't we all just want peace?
Aug 29, 2013•10 min
#45 - Hollywood From The Inside
What do ostriches, Cowboy cheerleaders, Scott Baio and crappy podcasts have in common? We don't know, but Jonathan Novack of ABC's On The Red Carpet and Tennis Channel joins us to give us some answers.
Aug 27, 2013•10 min
#44 - Common Courtesy Flush
Ahh bathroom etiquette... There are so many unspoken rules for using public bathrooms... We just wish people would keep EVERYTHING unspoken in there.
Aug 22, 2013•10 min
#43 - Sorry, Wrong Text
One of our "Legends" loves to get text messages - especially when they were meant for someone else. Socially unacceptable doesn't even being to describe Dave's responses to wrong-number texts.
Aug 20, 2013•9 min
#42 - Superfluous Superstitions
We're not superstitious guys but (knock on wood) you'll like this (rabbit rabbit) ten minute discussion (salt over the shoulder) of how silly people can be when it comes to (God forbid) protecting themselves from calamity. (Uh oh, black cat)
Aug 15, 2013•10 min
#41 - Ask-Her Mayor Weiner
Lately, New York politicians have been making it very easy for us to entertain ourselves at their expense. At the same time, they've been making it very hard on themselves... uh boy...
Aug 13, 2013•10 min
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