Does the youth leader ever feel like they haven't figured out? This hasn't been my experience. However, I couldn't be an effective youth leader today without Dan Duck presentation about going from youth worker to youth mentor. Mentorship is a key concept to understand when leading youth. In his presentation, Dan talks about ways to really turn the traditional approach to leading youth on its head. How can you better know your purpose? How
can you find out their life goals? How can you build a relationship that is transformational rather than simply filling time during the weekly youth Ti. You can watch Dan's presentation in the young Saints virtual library by going to leading Saints dot org slash 14 You'll get free access for 14 days, and that will give you plenty of time to watch Dan's presentation a few times. Let's give you the leadership they deserve.
So my name is Kurt Frank, and I am the founder and executive director of leading saints and obviously the host. Of the leading saints podcast. Now I started leading saints back in 2010. It was just a hobby blog, and it grew from there by the time 2014 came around. We started the podcast, and that's really when it got some traction and took off 2016. We became a 14 05:01 c 3 non nonprofit
organization, and we've been growing ever since. And now I get the opportunity of interviewing and talking with remarkable people all over the world. Now this is a segment we do on the leading Saints podcast called how I lead. And we reach out to everyday leaders. They're not... Experts, guru, authors, Phds, they're just everyday leaders who've been asked to serve in a specific leadership calling, and we simply ask them.
How is it that you lead? And they go through some remarkable principles that should be in a book that should be behind a Phd. They're usually that good? And we just talk about us sharing what the other guy doing. And I remember being a leader just simply wanting to know, hey, I know what I'm trying to do, but what's the other guy doing. And what's working for him, and so that's why every Wednesday or so, we publish these how I lead segments to share.
I Welcome to another episode of the leading Sai podcast today. I'm talking with Emma Smith on the other side of the globe in in the Uk. How are you Emma? I'm very well. Thanks, Kurt. Awesome was 9 here. So it's a bit late, but I'm I'm doing well. And it's just another afternoon for me in the United. States. So... But I'm so glad we found a time to connect. And I must say, I we we gotta start start here. You have the most Latter Saint name. I've ever I mean, I what... Did you get that
a lot? I mean, just how cool it is to to be the namesake of a wonderful woman? Well, when I got married, my mom was very happy pee. She kept saying, no. It's gonna be emma Smith because, obviously, I wasn't Smith first of all, and then I became Smith. So yeah. And my counselor loved it. And... Yeah. It's it's a cool name to have. It is. It is. That's very cool. Now... And so are you born and raised in the church then? So my mom joined the church when I was 2 and a half. And,
yeah. And then we kind of went to church, and then when I was 14, I decided to leave because we moved house, we moved towards my mom broke up with her husband, and I just found it really difficult to go to church to start on new board, even though they were really lovely and youthful were really lovely and slowly, but surely. I trickled away. And and then I came back another 15 years later. Wow. Wow. And and now you've sort been... Faithful ever since? Yes. I've been back for nearly 13 years.
Oh, wow. That's great. No I love to hear those stories. And, What what city are you in there? So I'm living Buckingham shares. So I'm at High wick. That's our kind of nearest ward. Where I live. And and where's that in relation to a, like, a London or a large Area. Win windsor the castle like 20 minutes away to drive. Okay. Had a win across. So... Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Awesome. And now and you've had opportunity to serve in various places, but
you've you've been... You spent a good amount of time in the young women's organization. Is that right? Yes. So I said as young women... President for nearly 5 years, and now the mistake second counselor. That's great. Released at December. I was released at Christmas time and then... Oh nice. Literally a month, and then I was called again.
Nice. And so, I mean, how would you describe just Just speaking generally about your ward or stake or... I mean, what is it like being a member in in your in your city or in your ward as far as like, you know, how how far are you now out far are you driving to church or know what's the basic demographic and layout there? Okay. So our award is about 20 minutes away from where we live. And it was quite a small ward, over like the Covid times.
And then afterwards, we had we had some news that we were getting some church offices built close to where we where we're living. And we would kinda count the numbers and there wasn't many people in our ward. And we got promised that... You know, they said, lip, don't worry. The numbers are gonna come. People gonna come.
And and it didn't happen for quite a while, and then, literally, all of a sudden, so many, that couples families were moving into ward and it's tripled the size, and it's literally amazing. Yeah. It's it's really exciting to be here at this time, and it's very multicultural. There's people from all over the world. That's actually like working for the church as well. What's it's really interesting. Yeah. Lovely. So, like, did the church, like, build, like, an office type
building there or they're... Yeah. For church employees who, you know, work in the Uk for the church? Yeah. Exactly that. Wow. Exactly. Yeah. And and where it is is kind of, it's called Reuben Green, where it is. When, you know, when we heard it was gonna be there, we were, like, really moving and green. You know, that's literally down the road. And, yeah, it's very special.
That's cool. There's nice. Some nice opportunities for the youth as well for the young men to to serve and do car parking duties when they've had, like, general authorities come away and stuff. Oh, wow. And so that's actually just drawn more membership into your area as as people get jobs and things working for the church. Yeah. Absolutely. So it's very, very different going back to a few years ago.
Now there's, you know, it's high to keep up with who's come coming in and the names of people, and I've never known it like that. Yes. No. It's exciting. So over your years of serving as a young women's president, on average, like, how many young women did you have in your in your ward? So we had... When I was serving, we had 6 young women. And while I was there, they've really grew up in those nearly 5 years.
So I look back on pictures of them, and there these, you know, small little girls that have just joined and then when they leave, you know, they serve in emissions and going to university invest, and... Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. It's lovely. It's really lovely see them grow and change and develop spiritually and, you know, emotionally.
Yeah. So how did you far structure your your presidency or did you have any advisors helping you out or, you know, teaching glasses or those things with... I mean, with 6. I mean, there's obviously, some girls to engage with and interact with, but it's not a huge or over bearing, you know, task per s. No. Absolutely. Well, when I was called, to be honest, I was quite shocked, I hadn't... I've had 2 boys at the time and my list list was 3.
My husband's not a member, and I remember the bishop asking me in his office, you know, would I would I like... To take on this calling. And I kinda couldn't believe it because I was like, really me, you know, doubting myself, but I really wanted to to serve, and you know, I really wanted to be able to accept the calling, and I remember failing my husband at the time and he said. Yeah. That's fine.
Yeah. Go for... If you wanna do that, and I said, but the only thing is, I'm gonna have to be, you know, out every Wednesday night for activities. And he said, Yeah. That's fine. I'll, Harley. And, yeah. I don't think we realized it would be nearly 5 years. But at time. You know, but actually, it was the best 5 years. And... I imagine. Yeah. It's very special. And then do you remember anything at the beginning just walking into that, calling that role?
I mean, as far as finding your footing or where to start or the vision you're sort of putting in place? Or or what do you remember just from those beginning weeks of that calling? I remember clearly thinking about my previous young women leaders and thinking how special they were and the lasting... You know, the impact they've had
on my life. Even though even when I've not been at church, I still remember clearly the things that we did, the conversations we had, the service projects we did, and I thought, if I can be, even just a little bit like them, then, you know, I think I would have done well. And I I really really wanted to to do the best I could. And I absolutely took it very seriously. I would you know, it's a big responsibility for me.
And I wanted to to show the girls that I was willing to to be there the whole time for them and show them laugh and support them. Yeah. Yeah. And then in in your part of the world as far. I mean, I do you still do I imagine still do some type of, like, girls camp, during the during the summer or how how does that work there? We're we're actually just doing a camp in a couple of weeks that I'm helping
run and organize. And to be honest, this is 1 of the first time that I've actually been with the camp. The girls have done been away various times and they haven't been able to do it in the past. And, yeah, So it's quite new to me camp. But I let's go into it. And then, the typical Wednesday evening activities. Those are... Are they typically at the church Is... I mean, it sounds like it's in, you know, a logical distance of driving to and having activities there. Is that usually
what you do? Yeah. So on a Wednesday, the girls would come and the boys. They would come and have seminary first. First hour of seminary. And then afterwards, we would have our youth activities, young women would go into another room and the young would go and do something else in the cultural hall basketball or something. And, you know, once every 3 weeks to get together and have joint activity. Yeah. We had a lot of fun, a lot
of fun doing those. Yeah. And so do they do they have early morning seminary there or or just on on Wednesday night or how does that work? They they do it online at home. Okay. Yeah. They're every Wednesday night. When they meet. And so Wednesday, they're in person doing it. Since gonna head the church anyways. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Oh, that's interesting. And then, as as we do in these
How Lead interviews. I had you send me a few principles that that seemed to the be influential in your time as a leader, you know, serving the young woman. And, which 1 do you wanna start with? I ponder? Is that the the first 1 you wanna jump into? Yeah. I think so I am I've been say probably a bit bit of a sync really. And and I I do I do like to think about things and I ponder a lot, especially in my calling.
I really like to take the time to think about the young women and think about their needs, and, you know, what where are they at in their lives? What are they... What they doing? You know, are they studying for exams? Are they preparing to do something? You know, I really... What's going on in their world, and Really like to think about them and pray for them and really think about what their needs are, especially if they've got exams coming up and things.
Sometimes it's difficult for them to attend the Wednesday activity. So I'd make, like, these little kind of hamper and, you know, if they're studying a kind of revision with a mark a chocolate and things like that. You does awesome. Yeah yeah. And. And that's inspiring because oftentimes, you know, I guess, almost a cliche answer is, you know, we pray for those that we serve. Right? And then young women you makes sense that if a leader was to articulate that.
You. You know, I always include the girls in my prayers. But I love this framing of it that it's not necessarily that you're only praying for them, but you're really taking time to ponder over them and and create space in your mind for the power of revelation to really take root and to guide you in a path that maybe wouldn't necessarily be as obvious if it was simply in the context of a prayer that lasts for a few minutes. Right?
But more just constantly keeping them top of mind and having an intentional time of pondering over them. Yeah. Absolutely. And I do notice the difference, you know, when you have that time and you allow that time in that space. Some revelation to come and to have the ideas that I wouldn't think of personally. And then, you know, I might do something or say something, and that's exactly what they needed that time. So I kind of realized this, I was going along throughout the
years. For actually, the more I did that, the more powerful it became. And so I love to do that. I love to, you know, create that space to be able to have that time to think about the individual And are there any stories or experiences that come in mind of maybe something that resulted from taking that time to ponder over those that you serve? Yeah. I think sometimes it's not even the the these big things, you know? It's it's those little things that really. Mean a lot.
I think building also building a relationship with the girls as well. Like, connecting with them. If you keep it connecting with them, you can help them more. You know? So I think connection was a big big deal. And if they weren't there, then I would text, speak to their parents you know, because there was only 6 of them, you would notice if 1 wasn't there. Yeah. And and so I I would make it... I'd make a think that but let we really missed you. And we generally generally
missed... You know, I generally missed the girls. I love the girls. And if there's 1 missing, didn't feel the same without them. You know, so I text say we really issues anything that we can do or can we give you a ride next week, you know, trying to arrange lifts if if they were struggling with lifts or you know, just be there for them at the end of the phone even if they could necessarily attending person. Yeah. Is there anything else that comes otherwise?
I mean, if you're were coaching maybe a a new young woman president to really connect. With those teenagers years come... Sometimes it's easier said than done. Right? Is there anything that comes to mind that really would help in an individual more authentically connect with the girls? Yeah. I think finding out their talents quite early on and their interest is really key. Because then you kinda know what they like and what their interests are. We used to do goal setting and we...
At the beginning of the year, they would make this vision board. And, you know, they'd couple their visions and their ideas on it. And you could really tell the type of you know, girl, young women that they would like to be. And, like, that was really interesting seeing their vision boards, and, I think also, if if you know their talents, there was 1 1 young lady who She was really talented in a really wonderful artist. And so on Sundays, we would ask her to scribe on the board.
And she'd always Such do such beautiful pictures and, you know, be able to draw right beautifully, and she really felt like she was you know, helping helping the class, and she loved that standing up and doing it, but also we were so grateful for her. And I think that that was really good because we could connect, and we were like, oh, we need you. We need you today. Say Yeah. You know, she'd get really excited to that... Kinda of became her role, and, yeah. And she loved that.
Yeah. Wow. I... You know, that really is the sweet spot is obviously, we want everybody, you know, especially in our wards or organizations to find places to serve. But when you can carve out a place for people to serve and place that is in alignment with their talents. Like, it really is transformational for that individual. They really feel like they're contributing in a way in in a unique way. Yeah. Absolutely.
Absolutely. I think, you know, everyone's got their own talents and their gifts and it's just finding finding out, speaking to the girls, doing different activities with them as well because sometimes you find out wow. You're actually really, really good at this craft and sometimes they don't even know that they're They're really talented at something. So it it's it's interesting, and it's it's great. Having those experiences with them. And you mentioned the the vision board that
you put together. I mean this, I think there's a, a strong principle in that that oftentimes especially with maybe those teenage years. You're not gonna get a long response out of it when you just ask them. Hey, what are some of your interests. Right? They may just shrug their shoulders and you wonder why I can't... Why don't they answer my question. Right? But engaging them in an activity like that where it's almost in a roundabout way you. You discover some of those...
Some of those interests than that... That's more successful than, you know, just pest them with questions. Right? Yeah. And I think we would do that. We'd kinda do it at the beginning of the year like in January after the Christmas, so it become like our news resolutions, but also our vision boards for the year. And it would be... It could be anything to, you know, what they really want to achieve in the year or a school or spiritually,
yeah. It's the sky's the limit, you know, and we'd bring so many magazines and books and kinds of things and we'd asked the release society if they could kinda donate any old magazines, and then we just spend the night cutting up and making things. And then I throughout my calling in which I would really recommend to anyone is take lots of pictures as well of your activities and with the girls because what I did, I took so many pitches
throughout throughout my years. And then at the end when I got released, I made a look of video for the girls. And I sent it, and, yeah. It was lovely to music. And you could see how they've grown over the years and all the wonderful things we've done together. That was really special. Yeah. So pictures so, I mean, that that's 1 thing. I'm trying to remember that even as a father. Right? As a parent that these...
These days won't last forever and just to take a picture of the even the simplest of things, you really appreciate it in the future. Yeah. Yeah. It's lovely. It's lovely. Any other activities that you did, you know, as you think back over those years? Different activities that you did, either that became more of a traditional activity or the some that stood out that you thought, wow, that that really turned out better than I anticipated. Different Yeah. We we had a lot of activities. And,
there's a couple of things. I think you know, it's there's a fine balance of trying to get the use to run the activities and them actually happening. And then, you know, it we didn't wanna take control of the activities. You know, we wanted them to run run them, and there was them... We had car washes that we would do for raising money for camp. And we had activities where we'd have them halloween parties, and the use would play games to all the primary, so we'd do invite all the primary.
And then we had another activity where the use actually physically made games out of wood 1 week. And then the following week that we invited the primary and the primary actually played all the games that they made that the youth had hand made out of the wood, and they'd carved. And they absolutely loved it. The the primary children loved loved doing that.
We had we had an activity but it's called around the world around the world, so we had all the new kind of people that came into our ward had, like, we have carousel, and the use would go around to each you know, station and the couple or the person standing there would say about their culture, about the country, a bit about the church, about in their country and and teach teaching maybe a song and they try food, and that was really interesting because they got to kind of experience a different
bit about lots of different countries around the world. So that was a really good 1. Is, yes. Because you have a, a very diverse ward, so you might as well learn about their cultures. Right? And where they're coming from? Yeah. We had Portugal. We had you. Mediterranean. We had Argentina. We had France, Italy, America, Mediterranean yeah. We had many countries that they visited in 1 night. So fun. That thousand. That's great. And then...
Definitely, any any specific routines or approaches for the Sunday meeting, You know, obviously, every other week. That you're with the young woman in, you know, the Sunday schedule. Anything that comes to mind far as how you handle that or approach that anything you need come up there? The Sunday lessons, we, obviously, we're only do 2 a months because there's, you know, you to some to 2 young women's lessons. And I've I found that if you give the young women at bit of time to prepare.
They were giving a, you know, a snippet of the class or they were studying something, and then maybe text them in the week or just bit before to say, oh, just a reminder, are you still okay to talk about whatever the topic may be, that really helped because it kinda of kept them thinking about it as well. And at our Sunday lessons, we would try and rotate it So be myself and my counselors would take it in turns in in teaching and then obviously, young women would lead
a part of it as well. Mh. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. And then let's see. Another print you put here, maybe we've touched on these things just covers station, but, give time to to study and pray. Anything else that we haven't mentioned around that? I... Yeah. I definitely would pray for the girls by their name individually. Yeah. Just put ponder and pray about the girls.
Yeah. And throughout the week, you know, not not just on a Sunday, and and really keep up with it as well, really keep up with, you know, thinking about them. As as the years and the months go on That's great. Awesome. Well, any other point principal concept that we haven't touched on or story or that we... You wanna include here before were wrap up or how'd we do?
Yeah. I do I I do remember there was once when it was a 1 Wednesday activity and, a friend of mine had had passed away, and I remember thinking, I was obviously seems very sad, and I Was thinking I I can't do this. I can't do this Wednesday, You know. I am I can't really face it, but it was a activity where I was going to be driving the young woman to 1 of the other countless houses. And I thought I can't let the girls down. I've got to... You know, I've got to come. So I I went to the
chapel. I picked the girls up and 1 of my other counselors in the cart. I was just really... I remember driving thinking. I don't feel right. You know, I don't feel good. I was on edge. I just... And Yeah. I just felt edgy. I didn't like it. And I sensed that the girls kind of probably thought is ever. K and I was thinking all, You know, Maybe I shouldn't have
done this, and I dropped. I dropped the girls off, and my cancer said him K, and I, you know, explained what happened, and I started to cry. And she, I'm, don't worry. You sit you sit here. I'll take the girls into the other council's house, and I said, I'm sorry, girls. And and they were really sweet this. Said that's okay, I. Okay. And they got out the car and I remember I went for a walk, and then I was back in the car and I said a prayer, and I listened to a conference talk.
And I think I probably said another prayer, and I I spent most of the time in the car, and I remember thinking got okay. I've gotta to go and see the girls, And really need to go and see the girls. And, obviously, I looked an absolute mess because I've been crying for, you know, yeah good amount of time. And I knocked on my couch store, and she said, Emma, I'll, ring, you know, we so pleased Uk and show the door and said, I'll show you around my, she's living she showed me
around her flowers. Came this is nice. You know, I couldn't see the girls. And I went in and she showed every minute. Oh, this is my living room, and that we got into the living room and the girls went. Am surprise and the activity that they... Which I dropped them off to do was going to play playing board games, and they spent the time making cards for me, Oh, my goodness. And I remember and at this... The... All the lovely words that they put in it, and I remember thinking, like.
Wow. You know, just... I was so surprised in so shocked. That wasn't the activity that they were going to, this counts house to do. But apparently, the class president said, girls, I think what we need to do is make cards for Emma. And yeah. And I I just... I cried. And I was crying more. But that was a real touching momentum for me because I could quite easily not 10... Attended that Wednesday. You know? It I felt vulnerable.
Of thinking... Yeah, maybe not not go, but actually by going, and the girl seeing me be vulnerable was really healthy for them because they were able to serve me. And after I was serving them. So it was very special, You know, Mourn with those that mourn than and and, you know, and stand in comfort. And they they really gave me comfort at that time. And I'll always remember that. Always remember that day. Powerful. Wow. I love those stories just when,
you know, that love is reciprocate, Right? And realizes it's the difference that you make the lives of of these these young women, it's awesome. It's great. Yeah. I... I think I didn't realize. I... You know, you spend your week Wednesday going in and in the chapel and and I I don't think until until I kind of stepped away and and now released, not, you know, I got released, Asked it'd be released, but And,
yeah. Now I couldn't slip back on those times and think they were hands down the best years of my life. Without a shadow of a doubt. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, and then the last question I have for you, as you reflect on your time as a leader. In the young women's, How was being a leader helped you become a better follower of Jesus Christ. I am definitely a different person.
Than I was when I am before I had my calling in the young women's and taken a calling and accepting a calling is the best thing I could have ever done because it has helped me to learn how to serve people and to show heavily father's love and be an instrument in his hands, and I'm eternally grateful for that. And by doing that, I think my children had a better mom for him as well.
I've definitely lent to be more patient and have more love and the the young women have taught me so many things that I can't really describe in words. It just will stay in my heart, forever. And I think, you know, the... My other cancers would say the same that those moments you they're precious. And they just stay use forever. And that concludes this how I lead interview. I hope you enjoyed it, and I would ask you. Could you take a minute and drop this link in an email on
social media in a text. Wherever it makes most sense and share it with somebody who could relate to this this experience. And this is how we how we develop as leaders just hearing what the other guy is doing, trying some things out, testing, adjusting for your area, and that's that's where great leadership discovered. Right? So we would love to have you, share this with somebody in this calling or a related calling,
and that would be great. And also, if you know somebody, any type of leader who would be a fantastic guess on the how I lead segment reach out to us, go to leading saints org slash contact, maybe send this individual email, letting them know that you're going to be suggesting their name for This interview we'll reach out to them. And see if we can line them up. So again, go to leading saints dot org slash contact, and there you can submit all the
information. And let us know. And maybe they will be on a feature how I lead segment on the leading sai podcast. Remember, goal listen to Dan who presentation about youth mentorship by visiting leading saints dot org slash 14. It came as a result of the position of leadership, which was in posed upon us by the God of heaven who brought forth a restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
And when the declaration was made concerning the own and only true and living church upon the face of the earth We were immediately put in a position of loneliness. The loneliness of leadership from which we cannot shrink nor run away. And to which we must face up with bold and courage and ability.