Send us a Positive Review! In this episode Valerie honors feminist writer Kynthia Taylor and unpacks an excerpt from her essay called " The Trouble with Chicken Patriarchy ". She follows up with thoughts on how as a therapist she sees the damage done to both men and women in the prescribed and deeply embedded gender roles that the church inherited in its 19th century inception and has in many ways expanded upon as the world has evolved in the opposite direction. Val breaks down how the roles of ...
Aug 19, 2022•37 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie and Nathan as they break down a variety of missionary-service related topics, including the following: What's with the hyper focus on missionary service of late? misdiagnosis of the problem Unrighteous dominion Thoughts on mission reform...offering those who serve more personal ownership of their mission experience as a place to grow psychologically and spiritually. Thoughts on reform...realizing that the mission field is a major training ground for instit...
Aug 16, 2022•52 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode, Valerie free-associates about her weekend spent reading, studying and thinking about the recent AP article regarding allegations that the LDS church is under-reporting sex abuse shared with ecclesiastical leader--protecting the predators at the expense of the victims. While this is a complex issue and Valerie does not pretend to know many answers, as a trauma therapist and a mandated reporter herself, she poses many questions that she would love for "t...
Aug 11, 2022•25 min
Send us a Positive Review! Did you miss the AMAZING Sunstone Symposium 2022? No worries! In this episode you'll catch at least one lecture! Join Valerie as she shares her session formally called "The Jungian Shadow and Mormon History" where she will cover: 1. The meaning of the Jungian Shadow How we all try to DENY our personal shadows in creative ways that estrange us from owning and integrating our shadow parts A case study in shadow integration: King David self confronts with the help of the ...
Aug 07, 2022•1 hr 13 min
Send us a Positive Review! Imagine attending an LDS meeting where people from the extremes of belief and practice come together and enjoy one another's company, share their stories, experiences, thoughts, opinions, and struggles, and are met with openness, curiosity, compassion, and non-judgment? This was our experience at our very first Sunstone Symposium--an annual gathering we just attended with a little bit of anxiety and a lot of curiosity. In this episode Nathan and Val share more about sp...
Aug 02, 2022•32 min
Send us a Positive Review! Can't make it to the Sunstone Symposium 2022? Join Valerie on this episode as she walks you through one of her Sunstone Presentations breaking down the following: Scott Peck's Stages of Faith Development Characteristics of institutions in lower stages of faith development Valerie's theories on why we as an institution are stuck Actual comments from podcast listeners about their faith deconstruction and how this is often faith progression (not regression) Why those in t...
Jul 28, 2022•1 hr 10 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Val as she breaks down one gay man's reasons for staying in the LDS church. This episode highlights the reality that every person must search for and choose for themselves their own authentic reason for staying (or not staying) in the church and that this decision is deeply and profoundly personal. Book Referenced in this episode: Why I Stay 2: The Challenges of Discipleship for Contemporary Latter-day Saints , Edited by Robert Rees Support the show Listen, Share,...
Jul 26, 2022•19 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie in her analysis of Zina Petersen's progressively new lyrics to the classic primary hymn "I Am a Child of God", written to emphasize the importance of moving beyond childish simplicity, black and white thinking, right and wrong belief structures, and a covert belief in the prosperity gospel. In this episode Valerie walks through the power and pain of becoming a true "Adult of God" and how faith deconstruction is an invaluable part of your personal maturatio...
Jul 22, 2022•28 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Val and Nathan as they break down the research findings regarding why people finally overcome their tribal desire to “fit in” and and “not make waves” and move into a place of courage, self validation, and even heroism. One's process of growing brave enough to speak truth to power and against the majority narrative involves heightening ones attention and realizing there is a problem realizing the urgency of the problem feeling a sense of personal responsibility be...
Jul 19, 2022•34 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie as she shares some words of wisdom straight from one of her spiritual heroes, father Richard Rohr. In this episode she shares highlights from one of the most influential thought-provoking and growth-inducing books she has ever read: Falling Upward. Discover for yourself whether you are in the "first half of life" or the "second half of life" and how we each move towards true adulthood. Books referenced in this episode: Falling Upward: A Spirituality for th...
Jul 15, 2022•13 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode, Valerie pushes back on the common belief in the LDS church that the "a la carte" approach to gospel belief is evidence of lack of faith, trust, and commitment to one's spiritual growth. She builds a case for the "a la carte" approach to building one's beliefs as more risky in the short term (yes, our own agency means we might botch things from time to time) but also as more rewarding for those who take their discipleship seriously and learn to truly ap...
Jul 12, 2022•34 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode, Val and Nathan share how in the church we sometimes use the transitive property of logic to draw sweeping conclusions to issues that merit individual study and personal discernment. No matter what they told you to teach in the MTC, if one thing is true (or false), then everything else is not necessarily true (or false). Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscriptio...
Jul 08, 2022•19 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: When Mom Feels Like a Robot [Part II of II] Join Val in a brief follow up to her last episode discussing the negative psychological, emotional, and relational, and spiritual impact that women often experience due to the LDS church's historical hyper-focus on marriage and childrearing as a woman's primary role in life. This episode focuses on how the men in these women's lives both impact and are impacted by this phenomenon. Support the show Listen, Share,...
Jul 01, 2022•19 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: When Mom Feels Like a Robot [Part I of II] Join Valerie in this episode as she breaks down a typical client that comes into her private counseling practice...the numb, exhausted, dutiful, mom. Our work together is to learn more about how she got here and how its possible that she can feel so crappy after having done all of the right things. Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes M...
Jun 28, 2022•17 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie and Nathan as they address a podcast listener's question regarding "rules" about a variety of dress/grooming related issues that are given at church and seem random, unimportant, and even not appropriate to be dictating to a body of thoughtful, discerning human beings. In this episode they talk about the concept of the "inverted value system" where some churches involve themselves in the unimportant details of a clean-cut (and therefore "Christian-appearin...
Jun 24, 2022•38 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Val and Nathan as they share some thoughts on why gender and sexuality is a topic that brings up strong feelings in just about everyone. And it should bring up strong feelings, because these are core parts of our individual identities. Each of us has a journey to discover the depths of ourselves---including who we are in the realms of sexuality and gender. And when other people or institutions meddle in this sacred process, it hurts people. Listen to their own pro...
Jun 22, 2022•31 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie and Nathan this week as they riff about obedience to rules as opposed to obedience to conscience and highlight how even those who are considered the most evolved are held hostage to their own culture's anxieties, fears, and quirks. The good news is that maybe we are all just beautifully messy and in need of self and other compassion and an increase in "chill". Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $8...
Jun 17, 2022•33 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie and guest host Brannon as they talk about a struggle brought into Valerie's therapy practice where a bride and groom are working on making the hard choice to be true to themselves even if that means devastating extended family about their desire to not marry in the temple. Is it possible that their greatest act of integrity and growth is to do what feels right to them even in the face of massive social and spiritual pressures? Support the show Listen, Shar...
Jun 13, 2022•34 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: The Sanctity of Dissent [Part V of V] In this final episode on Valerie and Nathan's series on the sacred nature of dissent, they talk about how paradoxically, dissent is the foundation of true peace. What? Yes, it is. True peace can only be attained through complex dialogue amongst parties whose ideas are all considered and welcomed. They also address how the ability to dissent safeguards all communities from eventual disintegration (walking away) and fin...
Jun 10, 2022•43 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Brannon and Val in this comical and true-to-life (and perhaps familiar sounding) struggle between two spouses juggling the needs of their primary-aged children, less-active older children, and their own messy faith questions...all at the same time. How can couples authentically have their own very different journeys while also trying to cultivate faith in their kids? And not have a nervous breakdown in the process? Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review...
Jun 06, 2022•44 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Valerie and Nathan as they talk about recent incidents related to their talking about dissent in the LDS faith. Their 5 Part "sacred nature of dissent" series (which is rudely interrupted by this episode...there IS one more episode left in this series) has brought up some angst in "concerned" listeners (because...dissent) and Valerie and Nathan share their experience processing through why they keep at this podcast, why you might be too anxious to share it but may...
Jun 05, 2022•36 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: The Sanctity of Dissent [Part IV of V] Join therapist Valerie Hamaker and her husband Nathan as they tackle the tendency to shame dissent and worship consent in the LDS faith. In this episode it is all about dissent and its power to heal blindness. They start with how a "consent only" culture develops people who are not introspective, curious, or challenging to systems and programs that ought to be thought about, challenged, and innovated.…for the betterm...
Jun 03, 2022•33 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: The Sanctity of Dissent [Part III of V] In this episode Val and Nathan address the consent/dissent idea as core to developing our own powers of personal revelation and then go on to discuss how a "consent only" church is one that get lost in the weeds of irrelevancies and blind to true worship of God. And when we are not worshipping God but are worshipping anything or anyone else...that's called idolatry. Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review ...
May 27, 2022•32 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: The Sanctity of Dissent [Part II of V] In this episode they break how dissent is sacred as it is essential to our personal salvation projects and because it is the backbone of spiritual maturation and personal responsibility. They highlight the need for us to both notice and gain personal courage as we engage in dissent as a an essential part of our spiritual journey while sometimes pushing up against a system that discourages or even punishes this beauti...
May 20, 2022•40 min
Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: The Sanctity of Dissent [Part I of V] Do you want fast-food-like religion, quick, simple, uncomplicated, black-and-white, and complete with all of the thinking and revelation done elsewhere? In this series Valerie will explore the temptation to worship the idea of consent and demonize the idea of dissent. Valerie will use the beautiful book titled "The Sanctity of Dissent" to argue that only through the ability to dissent can an individual or a faith comm...
May 13, 2022•22 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Val and Brannon this week as they talk about the gift of agency and how in principle it is taught as a concept fundamental to our faith tradition but how in actuality it is often not overly encouraged. They share personal examples of growing in their own capacities to practice agency and how when practiced it can become a principle that really moves us from fearful to fearless in our life's choices, relationships, and in coming closer to our divine heritage. Suppo...
May 06, 2022•48 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode, join Brannon and Valerie as they answer this question with an emphatic "NO" and develop this complex topic about staying and going. They talk about those who doubt quietly [and often judiciously] and finally need to step away, those who speak out, those who leave as an act of integrity, and those who might dissent and yet choose to stay as an act of integrity. And then there are those who are shown the door. Each of these reasons are unique, as deep as...
Apr 29, 2022•38 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode Valerie looks at an idea of organizational psychologist Adam Grant regarding 4 choices people make when confronted with challenging feelings in an institution that they care about (work place, church, etc). We either speak up, walk away, silently persist, or check out. Valerie breaks these down and talks a little about the impact that each choice has on us as individuals, on the institution, and on our ever-changing relationship with the divine. The bot...
Apr 25, 2022•27 min
Send us a Positive Review! In this episode Val and Brannon look at the example of Winston Churchill and talk about what made him a truly great leader. The bottom line? He was interested in the ideas, thoughts, feelings, and experiences of the people he led. And even allowed himself to be persuaded by them. How much do we feel heard as "normal people" sitting in the pews at church? How much do our experiences, beliefs, and struggles impact those leading us at headquarters? Are we allowed to feel ...
Apr 22, 2022•41 min
Send us a Positive Review! Join Brannon and Val as they look at how history has been trying to demonize and then erase the feminine divine for thousands of years and how the divine stature of women has morphed from holy and revered to marginalized and subservient. The bottom line: It hasn't always been this way. Our LDS culture's current interest in this topic may just be part of the restoration of lost truths. Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Sub...
Apr 08, 2022•47 min
