ReWives ReRant: The Bitchy Blonde Housewives

really try and think about this. Okay, this is these five blonde women like Reese Weatherspoon cannot roll on this crew. Like Laura Dern, but she's not famous, like as famous as these blonde bitches. Like we need bitchy. But oh, Jessica Lang maybe um Meryl Streep. I don't think it's particularly bitchy she's played, but she's played bitchy characters. I think she's super nice. I need a bitchy blonde like Madonna. I've met and met her once and you could just

I mean, Madonna's no shit. You saw truth, Darren. Madonna is bitchy. You have to be a bitchy blonde to be a part of this. Okay. Number two Martha Stewart, Madonna, Diane Sawyer. I don't know why I put her in. I just thought, like she's just so iconic, but I really don't know if she's bitchy. Um, but you have to have some nice house while I was in here too, like you have to and I know nothing about her. Yeah, am I putting in Mary? I don't like Martha Madonna.

I could see, like on some level doing it for a certain amount of money. Oh God makes let's just die Shares hair blonde again and put her in here. But Shares not blonde, So we can't because shares perfect. It's like this is like an elderly women's group. So I just I don't know why I can't get Meryl Streep in here. I just don't think she's going to contribute enough. I just don't think she's gonna want to be here enough, like we need we need bitchy fucking

blondes here. Um. I really want Gwyneth Paltrow here. I just think she she she could have a seat at this table. And I just know you don't get to be as successful as Gwyneth Paltrow, like she has to be part of the bitchy blond crew. I need some more serious HBI C blonds Right now, I'm running up like Gwin Stefanti cannot, cannot, cannot hang here. Lady Gaga is a little young for this group, but you might need some younger Housewives Gaga because of Madonna is saying

that some of Gaga's songs are like Madonna's. Let's throw Gaga in, Let's go Martha Madonna, Gwynneth Gaga. I need somebody else. I'm just going through like my rolodexs in my mind of who people are, Like Susan Sarandi be amazing, but she's not blonde. I could go back and revise and six students aroundon and I'm gonna stick right now with this group. We need click baity people because it's the Housewives. I'm gonna come up with someone sick, like

is there a bitchy former supermodel? And I don't want to cheat and be like, Okay, we'll take like Claudia Shift for because that's cheating and that's like she's not. We need someone more current that's like click baity. Let's put Ellen in. Listen, I'm putting Nicki Minaj in because when I look up her images, she's blonde a lot of the time. I don't know why I'm making an exception for this blonde crew, because you would say, why can't I put students Aroandon or share in. I can't

explain it. I'm throwing Nicki. I'm putting Nicki Minaj into the bitchy blonde Housewives cast because she and Madonna are gonna have some beef. She and Gogga's becoming a musical cast. And then you have Gwynneth. Yeah, you have Gwyneth, and I think I'm taking Diane Sawyer out. I'm taking her out. Sorry, Diane, you be a friend. Diane just got demoted to being a friend. In the Housewives, Gwyneth and Martha are like the lifestyle house you know, housewife doy ends, you know

what I mean. Like they're the married lifestyle gurus. And the three women that happened to be in the entertainment industry and music in particular, Madonna, Gaga and Nicki Minaj. I don't think j Lo would bring it because I think she'd be too guarded, too controlled, like Madonna and Martha will ultimately find a way to get sloppy and Nicki Minaj will throw down. Mariah did a reality show, but I just I don't want I want new people on reality team. I don't want to I don't want

another Maria. I want like I want. This is what I want. So that's it. That's my cast. What's our cast at Bitchy Brunettes, Like these are people who are probably bitchy in real life, but like can't be bitchy publicly. You know, you know we're putting Kim Kardashi and Beyonce and Jlo on the same cast with Mariah Carey. I don't know her, Like this is it. I got it. Okay. You always need like these little threads that connect. So

you've got Kim and Beyonce. And they said it. Kim always wanted to be friends at Beyonce, but Beyonce was never into it. Like it was she was always trying. Okay, Kim came up and made it, but still she didn't get the she does not get She didn't get the cred, the street cred from Beyonce. And even though Kanye and jay Z were friends, So that's good, Like that's good history between Kim and Beyonce. Then you're gonna have Jlo on because you know there's like a rivalry, and like

Ken is Jlo. You know she's an amazing dancer, but can she really really sing? And Mariah I don't know her to Jlo, and Mariah's legitimately a real singer, like she's a real vocalist, but Maria can't really dance and Jlo ken dance. You've got all that shit going on, and then we need one more person because five is a good number. I'm throwing Rihanna And there were always these, always these rumors, and like I think jay Z was also friends with Rihanna in the beginning, and there's like

stuff with Beyonce. We're throwing Rihanna into. This is like the musical. That's the Bitchy Brunette Housewives crew, and it's it seems all musical except for Kim. But Kim is married to Kanye. We're putting her in with throwing her and that's that crew, and she wasn't in the other cast with Chris Jenna. It's an amazing crew. We need to find a billionaire to fund all these Like hey, Kim, we're paying ten million dollars to do the bitchy brunette housewives.

I love it makes me happy. It's fantasy. It's like fantasy football brings me tremendous joy. By the way,