So I saw that there was a pill bottle thrown at the reunion, like made light of. Somebody said, you want a XENX, I have a xanax, and that was sort of made light of. And I sometimes think about that this is effectively it's a non traditional workplace, but I would imagine there are even some workplace rules in a strip club, like it is still a workplace. And
I thought, a pill bottle is being thrown. Wow, okay, And then I thought about I read something where they said that I read that Andy said to I think variety that he thought that you were medicated, that you were insinuating that you were on prescription drugs. So how did that.
Make you feel? I mean, I am medicated.
I've been on antidepressants for several years now, and it makes sense looking back, probably around the time that I started filming vander pump roles. But to say that I must be met, to say that I must be heavily medicated because my behavior was erratic or I didn't have emotions, is not okay in my eyes. I feel like that violates some sort of hip a law, and to make assumptions like that, it's damaging to a person.
An employer cannot say that a person that works for them is medicated. I mean, I know that that's a private piece of information, whether it was true or not or speculation. I just don't know where the line is. That's what I'm kind of that reunion, And this is why people are saying to me, why are you doing this? Why you bite in the hand that feeds you. I'm the shining golden child that got out and made the money.
Why am I they They would have had me back at any time to make millions of dollars to be on these shows. Something about this jumped off the page to me, like this is where the line is crossed. And the fact that the viewers digested what was said to you that I just read. I don't think they really realized what they were digesting because it's become the
norm now. I just think that the viewers just like in some hazy world where they think this is like real, but you're kind of these like circus character, You're like these characters animals in a zoo that they don't really understand that you're a person and that that was said to you, and that like it's just like flippant talk about the medication. So after the reunion, Andy said, she took it on the She took it all on the chin, like a champ. She just sat there and took it.
I didn't know that she would be able to, which is probably why I hypothesized. I didn't know how long Rachel or Raquel would last on set. Given my years of experience in these forms, I would have thought that she would have walked off way sooner and maybe walked into her car, never to be seen again.
So that's ending that you say that just because I did walk off stage and then he summoned me back.
That's what I'm saying. This is what I'm okay. So this is why it feels you're abused and you're told to fuck you with the cheese grater and forty other things and then hold on, come back. It's like you just abused by people, but we want you to come back for more. And then, what I don't understand is I didn't know how long she would last on set, and I would have thought she'd walk off and then
and went into the reunion. He said, he went into the reunion worried for your mental health, and he said, I saw how unemotional she was, and it made me think like she was either really medicated, so it almost sounds like he was worried going in. I wondered, did anyone advocate for you to have like a mental health advocate on set or someone to protect you.
Or going into the reunion.
It was promised to me that I would have a mental health advocate in my trailer as I watched the first two parts of the reunion and then behind the scenes just in case for my mental well being, and that was taken away from me Jesus the night before, like the day before the reunion, and I think it was a punishment because I did this, Like this paparazzi guy found me waiting to get my nails done on the sidewalk of the street and I felt awkward being inside there and I asked some of his questions.
They were very basic.
I didn't give away anything that the reunion was going to touch on, and I think the network saw that and was, I don't know, angry, disappointed and punished me. Punished me by taking away my mental health advocate.
Okay, okay.
Oh. And then there's one more thing regarding the Hippa situation.
There was a.
So it got out that I was at the Meadows for mental health treatment, and sorry, one of my peers who recognized me when I came into the Meadows was like, oh my gosh, Raquel, like what are you doing here? And she was in for that duration of time, so she didn't know anything about the scandal, but she watched the show, and so I feel her in on the situation and the things that led me up to coming to get treatment. And that was my first week and
her last week. That same day she left, there was news that I was at this place called the Meadows getting mental health treatment, and that was a violation of my privacy. And then you know, it got picked up. But then there was conversations of oh, Rackulla isn't getting treatment. She's at a spa, she's at Miravlle and.
You said that castmates or yeah in the press.
Insiders, people who know for a fact, And so that whole narrative was being pumped out there that I'm at a spa, and I had my team like contact them saying, look, you guys know she's at the Meadows.
We have the paperwork to confirm it.
It will you dispel these rumors that she's at a SPA and they refuse to do that to create keep this narrative going.
But being in a mental health facility and not getting that cleared up, you wanted them to say she's getting treatment not at a SPA, because yeah, wow, and why wouldn't they.
They wanted to keep this narrative going, like it was more salacious for me to be at a SPA than to be really reflecting all my actions.
So did anyone from Bravo reach out to you post reunion out of concern wanting to help you, wanting to pay for your treatment or check in with you, or even be worried that it would come down on them? Like what was what were they what was the reaction, what was what was their involvement? Or what did they do? What have they done?
No, there is no check in.
From anybody to see if I was okay and just to you know, like follow up. And unfortunately I asked for my tuition, I guess to be covered for my treatment and they refuse to pay for it. And we have a I have a theory that is because if they paid for it, they would admit to this liability.
Yes, it's culpable if you pay then you're yes, Yeah, interesting. Wow, So there has been all this going around people are you know, speculating that you're part of this reality reckoning And there have been just like whispers about you and I very very subtle. But we've done a very good job that no one knows we're here, which is wonderful
and thank you everyone. But have has Bravo been acting differently towards you since your name is in the mix and they're getting worried and they're getting legal letters and there's been a lot of very public.
Yeah, just a few days ago, somebody reached out from the network and offered for security to be at my house where I'm staying with my parents. And it's like, it's a little too late. All of the death threats were happening months ago, and you were aware of it yet did absolutely nothing to protect anybody. And after those league, after that legal letter went out, all of a sudden they're offering services.
So it's a little fishy.
Interesting. What's also interesting is that we watched what we've just discussed as emotional abuse on the reunion, But what happens with the public, what about the messages and what has really what if people said to you. I've seen merch sold cups with your names on, so explain that world of hate.
Oh my gosh.
I think the most disturbing thing talking about the merch is when I sent out that seasoned desist from my litigator to all of the cast to not share the video that.
Was taken without my consent.
La La decided to use that and be like, oh my god, don't contact me directly contact my attorney Darryl like send have your people send it to my people, you dumb bitch, or whatever the hook her message was. And then she started making these sweatshirts that said send it to Daryl. And I guess she has made enough for a down payment on her new house in Palm Springs. Wow, the same house that she bought out from under the rug because Brock was interested in buying that house.
But it just happened so quickly.
I don't know the details don't matter, but it's like so many people are using this opportunity and this scandal to monetize for their own benefit.
And I'm left here.
Broke, broke, and you know my name has been raped through the cools. I don't have business opportunities. My brand is shot mistress. Yeah, I'm that best.
What kind of did you? Did you actually receive death threats and online bullying?
And yes, yes, my parents received them more than I did. I shut off social media pretty early on, and thank god I didn't have my phone while I was in treatment. And you know, we got the FBI involved because these things aren't okay, and I think people were seeing red and they were just like.
Overcome with these emotions.
But not thinking that this is a situation that isn't so black and white. And I'm really really happy that I took the time to go to get treatment at the Meadows because they did teach a lot about shame and carried shame, toxic shame, and what healthy shame is.
And with all the vitriol online and.
Hate that's been thrown at me, if I were to take that on as my own, I don't even know how I would survive.
Do you hold the cast responsible or do you think they're just doing their jobs to make money?
That's a really good question. I think they're doing their jobs to make money. The Girl's trip in Vegas was really traumatic for me. Obviously, drinking a lot to numb my anxiety and awkwardness that I felt around these girls that haven't had the.
Best history with me.
And the following day, Lala and Christina Kelly came into my hotel room and they were like, oh my god, Requel, that was amazing last night. You like Reality TV rating goals. You killed it, like so funny. I can't believe you, Like you're sough, like you did it, You're the best.
And then as soon as cameras were on, it.
Was like, Raquel, how could you? I can't believe what you said last night. Oh and so that was already in mind fuck and I know that they're doing their job, and their job is to make ratings, to create something that people will be engaged with, and.
It's it's sick.
Before I get and I want to just finish up with your future. But do you need do we need to discuss this dog? Is this thing? Is this dog thing something that's relevant because it's a big question for people.
Did we already talk about it or no?
No, just a dog? And then we're don to tumans. I don't want to burn you out. OK.
Yeah, so just really quickly, there's a lot more to the story. But Graham, my gosh, he has a history of aggression, and he's betten me really hard.
He's betten other people.
I already was considering getting a foster family while going into the meadows and trying it out. But my dog Graham bit my mom. My dog Graham bit my mom's hand down to the bone, and it was so bad she couldn't even get stitches. And I had the decision to either leave the meadows and go back and take care of my dog, or try to get him rehomed and finish out my treatment because I knew I had more to work on. So I chose myself and we researched a breed specific dog rescue and they took him in.
Besides his biting behavior and bottom line, he couldn't get rehomed. They reached out to Lisa vander Pump to ask for a donation after they scanned his microchip and saw that he was my dog. It was supposed to be a confidential, you know, anonymous, yeah, because it's nobody else's business.
Right, And it happened. Andy had a dog that was aggressive with the baby, you know, and he was worried, so he had to give the dog away. It things to happened with dogs.
Yeah, And there's a reason why I didn't want James to have Graham. He is, he doesn't have dog experience, and he's part of the reason why Graham is a bier. James would encourage Graham to bite his hands hard and he liked that sensation, so of course that trained Graham to be a bier. So to my surprise, people are like, oh,
my god, Graham's filming in Tahoe. And I thought it was a joke at first, and my heart dropped to my stomach and there was a picture of James walking Graham, and I was like no. Immediately my mom called the foster who was working with Graham, and she said, oh, it's so lovely. Lisa adopted him, and we were like what. It's just so sick that they're using Graham as a part of this storyline. And to further this villain narrative.
You died your dog off.
Yes, so now the narrative is I dumped my dog at a shelter and he was hours away being euthanized, and that's not true.
Oh okay, I got it. Okay, Wow, Jesus, you got yourself into a whole ship storm. Jesus Okay, so what are your regrets? Like, what do you what could what would you do differently?
I regret a lot.
I would do everything differently if I had the chance to go back. And I really just want to acknowledge that a lot of people were believing in me, and I feel like I was a disappointment to those people. I know that there was a lot of trust that was broken between friendships and betray all that happened, and I look back at my actions and I'm disappointed in myself as well. That is not the person that I want to be. That I wasn't happy, I was really hurting.
I don't ever want to be in a place like that again, and I will make sure that I don't put myself in that position again. I think there is a silver lining in the situation that I'm able to learn about myself and give myself this forgiveness and hopefully share with other people the knowledge that I've learned and helped to in a perspective on all of these things that have happened and that I've experienced, and if somebody is going through a similar situation, that there's still hope.
That's powerful.
Honestly, it.
Was all for something it was not for not. I mean, it was a rough journey, but it got you to an awakening. Yeah.
Well I needed to get caught.
I needed to because it would have just continued and that's not who I want to be. This was the biggest wake up call for me.
Yeah, you hit rock attom beyond. Yes. So would you ever go back to reality television?
Oh? Hell no, never.
No, because I refuse to not respect myself on that level where I would endure that emotional abuse any longer.
And I can't do that to myself.
That's a big statement because it's very tempting. Fame is tempting, money is tempting, Chasing the dragon is tempting. That's a very big statement, you know, because I would have bet that you would have gone back. And I'm actually proud of you. I don't even know you, but I'm proud of you because it's not as easy you are in the spotlight. You could go back and redeem yourself and be famous. So you don't want that. And have they asked you to come back?
Yeah, of course, of course they want me back. And I know that other people in the cast are more important than I am, so I don't even think that I would get a redemption ARC. To be honest, I also know that I wouldn't be able to share all of my story. Whatever I share gets condensed to five minutes max. So I think, knowing that there's different options for me and there's good that I can.
Do, you turn this into something positive. Yeah, in considering coming back, did you consider coming back at all?
Yeah? I did.
I asked for equal pay with Tom and Ariana and for them to reimburse me for my treatment expenses.
They refuse to pay me equally, and uh, you know, I.
Was considering going back if I was going to be paid equally because I feel like when you pay your employees, it really shows how much you value them.
In you know, the whole whatever it is.
I get it. You feel like at least I took a hit. But yeah, but wow, they are proud of me for right. It's like this love of your because you said in your statement that you look for love and validation, and I've experienced that you want the network to give you validation, right, which is crazy and I get it, but I've been there where you want someone to say, oh my god, look what we did, and look at the ratings, and their their mo is to not let talent know how well things have been going,
because then they would have to compensate them. So we used to not even get the ratings until I demanded we need to see the ratings, like because you're not supposed to know you're doing so well.
Right, But it's impossible to not know how well the show is doing, right because I mean, it's everyone's talking about it. It's everywhere. Scannabll is like this the most sensationalized piece of pop culture that I've experienced.
Yes, it's enormous, and the zeitgeist that's been massive, it really has. So Yeah, it's been a cultural phenomenon. And will you speak to anybody from the show? Do you speak to anybody from the show? Or is that that's the past and you want to move on.
I have a no contact policy with every single cast member.
Okay, wow, I know you have a no cast call rule, but actually I did want to know this. I wanted to know if you think that they feel that they went too far the cast and if they are sorry.
Laala has reached out to me on Instagram, saying that she's willing to lend an ear and I don't know. I just don't trust that person. I know she has her own agenda. I'm sure she wants to create an alliance with me so she can take down Randall for being a narcissist, and that's her wholem.
Has anyone asked you to come back because you'd be good for the show, so good for business?
Yeah, I've been asked back.
The only reason why I reached out to Lisa is because I told her my concerns about Graham being in the care of James Kennedy and I.
Got a phone call from her.
I answered and explained that James isn't a fit dog parent, and she just was talking about the potential scenes we could film together. She was like, just come back for one final interview. You can come to Villa Rosa, you can apologize for leaving and disappearing. And she didn't ask me how I was.
She didn't ask me what I've been dealing with since the last time she saw me at the reunion.
And she almost got me back because I did want to share my side of the story, like we talked about, and there was this firelit beneath me because I was angry that Graham was being used as a pawn in all of it this and I really do feel like he was bait to.
Get me back.
Oh okay, and you never get the last word on reality TV? And did have any of the other cast members asked you to come back?
Tom has emailed me twice. Lala wanted me back, Yeah, Lisa wanted me back.
Yeah.
Does that feel confusing when everyone said we thought she would get in a car and leave, never to be seen again, you know, even Andy saying like she took a beat down and she was, you know, mentally unwell, et cetera. And then like, is it strange that the
same venue that would put you in that position? And I'm saying you're taking accountability and you definitely contributed to it, but that same place that may not be the best space for you or save that you went into a facility for three months of your life, was asking you to come back. It's like when you were in the Union, like hold on, come back after you just you know, we're.
Yeah, Actually it makes complete sense because they have ulterior motives. They don't care about my well being. They care about their narrative that they need to portray on this show.
Well, it's going to be a very interesting show and season for them. It's going to be wild to see and I'm sure they're going to have a real They're going to have a real opinion about this conversation. Lady, So this is the new you. I mean, you have a new chapter ahead of you. And what do you want to do now that you've grown up?
I really am impassioned by learning about myself and the psychology behind all of this, and I am taking the steps to start my own podcast.
Nice okay.
I feel like it would be a great way to share my side of the story and bring on experts that really understand the psychology, like.
A self help Yeah, so we should talk about it, yeah okay.
And I feel like, you know, this is an area that's untapped because nobody really wants to talk about being the other woman. And for as many people that are hurt by this affair, there's equally as many people that have been the other person.
If you have, if you have, yeah, exactly, there are that many affairs somebody's the mistress or the mister so. And I think it's very remarkable that you want to do a podcast and not just go dip back into the garbage, like you'll talk about the garbage. I'm sure you have a voice. We've been speaking for almost two hours. And do you do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids? Do you want to be in a relationship?
Like?
Where are you in that area of your mind?
I would love to have a healthy relationship, but right now I am nurturing my houseplant and you know, still healing myself so I can break this these patterns.
That example, you want to break the chain and you want to have a good relationship with yourself?
Yes?
First, yeah, So where will you be living? You're you're at We're in Arizona now. I flew to come see you, which is there's no precedent for that. I have not done that. I really was feeling for you and not wanting to travel, and I thought, let me really have compassion and come to where you are so you feel safe, because I know that it was hard for you to talk to anyone, and I was worried that you might
get cold feed. You know, you came in very strong and very confident today and very together, which I didn't know if you'd be fragile or a mess or so where will you be going from Arizona.
I'm going to be traveling around. I'm not headed back to LA anytime soon, so I have some plans to check out different states in different areas.
Oh nice.
So it's unwritten at this point, but I'm excited to start.
This new chapter.
You have a new journey literal and figurative. Well, if you want to come visit me in the Hamptons, I'm right near the beach. So okay. So I just want to say thank you for trusting me. I mean, I give you a lot of credit for really staying quiet. It's very difficult to do that because you want to get your thought out, your word at you want to correct everything that's wrong, and you took months to really
just allow for it all to settle. And when you don't know what to do, sit still, and you did sit still, and now you got you know, is there anything we didn't cover? Were you able to get your entire story and your whole voice out today?
I think that whatever we didn't get too, which there's so much that goes on behind the scenes and what happens internally, even that, save it for.
Your podcast exactly we'll get there.
Save it for your pocket okay, well, thank you so much.