Greetings punks and skunks! Brian and Cargill kick off their month-long Gals Who Rock series with a lost punk classic. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains didn't get a wide theatrical release, and it didn't turn up on home release for 26 years. When the guys say it's a lost classic, they're not lying, they're professionals. The film features several superstars at the dawn of their careers, including Diane Lane, Laura Dern, and a sexy young Ray Winstone that has both hosts scrambling to put...
Feb 02, 2018•1 hr 2 min
In space, no one...apparently pays much attention to copyright laws JanUary concludes with Sean Connery trying to maintan law and order on one of the moons of Jupiter while also avoiding catching the space clap in Outlander. It's not just High Noon in space, it's High Noon/Serpico/Chinatown/Alien in space! Ok, granted, Alien is already in space. But it’s the second biggest influence on Outland behind one of cinema’s greatest westerns. Brian and Cargill discuss these influences, the unexpected Ch...
Jan 25, 2018•1 hr 4 min
Here we are, born to be Burger Kings. Continuing JanUary, Brian and Cargill draw their swords in defense of The Highlander. An immortal classic! Or at least a classic about immortals. They discuss the mythology, the accents, and the fact that when it comes to this franchise, there should be only one. Queen slays Sting, Cargill gets Assanted, and MacLeod takes a bite out of crime. Gather around for the quickening!
Jan 18, 2018•1 hr 7 min
This s**t just got real! We hadn’t covered one of the greatest action movies of all time and you Junkions took us to court! Now, at long last, Brian & Cargill ride and/or die with BAD BOYS II! The guys discuss the balls-out action set pieces, the interesting twist on the lead character dynamic, and the absurd amount of great character actors in BAD BOYS II’s periphery. They also question the wisdom of a second Bay of Pigs, Brian pleads guilty to past distaste for this flick, and the guys pitch t...
Jan 10, 2018•1 hr 2 min
Brian & Cargill kick off JanUary with the first fan-curated film of the month: Darkman. In 1990, Sam Raimi delivered us a superhero so emotionally unstable as to make Batman look like Santa Claus. The guys discuss all the ways in which Darkman was Raimi's dry run for directing Spider-Man a few years later, right down to the montage work and the Danny "Elf Man" Elfman score. They also point out the relationship between Darkman, Batman, The Shadow, and...Lon Chaney? Who is Darkman? Listen to this ...
Jan 06, 2018•1 hr 11 min
Saving the best for last, Brian & Cargill warp up JCVDecember with Lionheart! Van Damme shows some actual acting chops as he fights for family, fights for survival, fights...in Jeans? Part Rocky, part Hard Times, part Street Fighter (much more so than the actual Street Fighter movie he starred in), Lionheart is the best non-meta JCVD flick, and we’ll work-boot-kick anyone who says otherwise!
Dec 29, 2017•1 hr 19 min
In the distant past of 2004, and the even slightly distanter past of 1994, one man had the courage to travel back in time for justice...and to brandish a sick ass mullet! Brian and Cargill upset the spacetime continuum as JCVDecember explores the ageless excellence of Timecop. Ron Silver devours scenery, balloon men do the splits, and Mia Sara might be a Highlander. All this plus the guys discuss the petty ways they would personally profit from time travel and Van Damme keeps going back to chang...
Dec 20, 2017•1 hr 1 min
Put up your Dux, because JCVDecember fights on! This week, Brian and Cargill step into the kumite and battle it out with Van Damme’s breakout film: Bloodsport. The guys exchange jabs as they breakdown the pros and cons of what is arguably the second best version of this same movie that Van Damme made three times. They also discuss flashback troubles, propose an 80s soundtrack singer kumite, and Frank Dux pops in to take credit for everything. If your bodies are ready and your hearts are on fire,...
Dec 14, 2017•1 hr 7 min
Brian and Cargill are joined once again by Derek Mahr as they spin-kick off their JCVDecember celebration with the best puckin' Die Hard ripoff of all time: Sudden Death. Ok, it might not be the best Die Hard ripoff, but it's definitely the meanest and the most hockey-y. Thrill as Van Damme beats the stuffing out of a penguin mascot! Recoil in fear as Powers Boothe fills your mouth with spiders! Scratch your heads in confusion as we contemplate JCVD's double identity as both a Mega Man villain A...
Dec 08, 2017•1 hr 16 min
In this week's Mongo-sized episode, Brian & Cargill, kings of the impossible, travel back to planet Mongo to talk about Flash Gordon...but like actually talk about Flash Gordon this time. They rock out to Queen, worship Ming von Sydow, and get lost in the technicolor fever dream of this 80s fantasy classic. These impetuous boys also discuss Flash Gordon's incestuous relationship with Star Wars, whether it's cool to wear your own name on a teeshirt, and their theory that the whole movie might be ...
Dec 01, 2017•1 hr 21 min
It has been dormant for a long time, but like the mighty McRib, Modern Junkfood Masters has returned! This time around, Brian and Cargill honor writer/director Lorene Scafaria. They discuss the oddly embraceable hipsterism of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, the heartfelt apocalypse of Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and the poignant, autobiographical rabbit hole of The Meddler. All this, plus, the creation of The Meatloaf Connection (which will almost certainly be appearing at y...
Nov 22, 2017•1 hr 10 min
Welcome, brothers and sisters! Cargillvember trucks along as we pitch our tents for a Leap of Faith revival. As we discuss the pros and cons of this Steve Martin vehicle, we knew we needed someone who is himself a pro at being a con: Night Attack/Scam School's Brian Brushwood. We discuss the tricks of the con man trade as they pertain to televangelists and pray-for-pay preachers, Leap of Faith's heavenly cast, and why Liam Neeson should have played Doc Brown. Also, during the recording, Brian's ...
Nov 16, 2017•1 hr 6 min
Junkfood Cinema is here to spice up your life as Brian & Cargill tell you why you want why you really really want to revisit Spice World. No, we’re not kidding. The guys’ two minds become one as they explain the exceptional satire of this bugnuts vehicle for Britain’s premier girl group of the late 90s. They touch upon the self-effacing humor, the cavalcade of cameos, and why Spice World at least belongs in the same conversation as Purple Rain and A Hard Day’s Night. They’re giving you every...
Nov 08, 2017•1 hr
We're coming to get you, Junkions! Actually, we're coming to give you a super-sized feast as Brian and Cargill feast on all six of George A. Romero's Dead films. From Night of to Survival of, their corpses will not rest until the entire franchise is covered. The guys discuss the various chronologies, the messages of each installment, how The Walking Dead only exists because of Romero, and why Robin Sparkles probably got devoured by ghouls. They also chat about the horrors of copyright loopholes ...
Nov 03, 2017•2 hr 43 min
Get ready to take an ill-advised detour as Brian & Cargill fall into a Tourist Trap. Part Texas Chainsaw Massacre, part Carrie, and part Psycho, Tourist Trap is all lunacy. The guys discuss Chuck Connors' reinvention, the formative power of loincloths, and why Klaus Kinski won't stop screaming at them. All this plus Brian goes off book in a Hulu tirade. Make sure your friends don't get lost, share this episode and direct them to Junkfood Cinema!
Oct 25, 2017•1 hr 1 min
Ain't nothing this podcast can do for you, 'cept send you to hell...or maybe send you out for tacos. Brian and Cargill continue their unintended, but still great, redneck horror theme with 1988's Pumpkinhead. The directorial debut of effects master Stan Winston, Pumpkinhead is a perfect horror flick. The contemporary fairy tale with one of the genre's most empathetic protagonists (who is also kind of the villain) also happens to feature one of the greatest monsters ever committed to film. Gather...
Oct 19, 2017•52 min
If you go down in the woods today, you may get a big surprise. You may in fact be surprised that this week's movie exists in the first place. But obscure is the tree from which Junkfood Cinema falls and as Schlocktober continues, Brian and Cargill taking a camping trip with The Final Terror. From the director of The Fugitive comes possibly the most anti-slasher-movie slasher movie of all time. From its sensible characters, killer cast, and satisfyingly shocking ending, The Final Terror is the la...
Oct 11, 2017•1 hr 2 min
We have such sights to show you..r ears? Brian and Cargill descend into the infernal pain dimension...which usually means they decided to eat expired pork rinds. This time however, we're referring to this Double Down of an episode in which your favorite schlock demons dissect both Hellraiser and Hellbound: Hellraiser II. These two movies have their flaws for sure, but in this episode the guys argue the only way to watch one is to watch both! The sequel goes full crazy, rips off Dream Warriors, a...
Oct 05, 2017•1 hr 4 min
Mellow greetings, Junkions and maniacs! This week, Brian and Cargill defrost 1993's Demolition Man. One of the stellar examples of the strange action hero meta film trend, Demolition Man pits Sylvester Stallone against Dennis Rodman's Joker. Is the nightmare future that Marion Cobretti sees when he sleeps? Will Joel Silver make an appearance in this episode (spoiler: yes)? Why is Sting following us around this month?! Download, listen, and share this episode to bring others joy joy feelings. As ...
Sep 27, 2017•1 hr 17 min
It's one for all and all you can eat on this week's Junkfood Cinema! Brian and Cargill draw their swords to defend one of the best cinematic interpretations of Alexandre Dumas' The Three Musketeers. The cast is so full of youthful swagger that you may find yourselves referring to this 1993 Disney pic as Young Swords, but every single person in front and behind the camera delivers and the result is a deep-fried candy bar that somehow comes out lean. There's also so much fantastic swashbuckling he...
Sep 21, 2017•1 hr 3 min
Witness finally, the finale of our Summer of 87 series! Breaking format ever so slightly (i.e. with a sledgehammer) we discuss the very worst films of 1987. Super-meh: The Quest for Sense, Jaws: The Regurgitation, Deathwish IV: The Quest for Crack. Can you believe there were a total of FOUR terrible part four's in one year? Neither could we, but we're sure as hell gonna talk about them all and slowly drive ourselves to the brink of madness all for your listening pleasure! For crying out loud, th...
Sep 13, 2017•57 min
On this week's groovy episode, Brian and Cargill invite you to a familiar cabin in the woods. The guys flip through the pages of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis and once again grapple with a question as old as the Kandarian Empire: whether 1987's Evil Dead II is a remake, sequel, or reimagining. No matter on which side of the mirror you find yourself, it can't be denied that Evil Dead II is remarkably different from its predecessor. The guys swallow souls, and a few Twinkies, as they discuss the effe...
Sep 06, 2017•1 hr
Hold on to your noses, Junkions! Brian and Cargill put their respective appendages to the grindstone and pull the romance film hat trick as they discuss 1987's Roxanne from behind the bushes. The great Steve Martin breaks his own mold as he dabbles in adapting classic French theater and bringing us his own brilliant take on Cyrano de Bergerac! The movie is witty, packed with fantastic character actors, and a great lesson on owning who you are. In addition to pitching woo at Roxanne, the guys als...
Sep 01, 2017•59 min
Once upon a time, Brian and Cargill sat down to discuss the legendary Princess Bride. From Gilder to The Fire Swamp, the guys cover all the genius elements of Rob Reiner's romantic fantasy, both the conceivable and the inconceivable. On top of the cast, the creators, and the narrative structure that guards against cliche, the hosts of unusual size discuss fencing, awkward flights, Atari baseball, and their pitch for My Dinner with Andre the Giant. If you wish to see this show continue, consider ...
Aug 25, 2017•1 hr 2 min
Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema, where even our eyes are hungry! This week, Brian and Cargill are joined by Minnesota Fringe Festival's Windy Bowlsby to take a spin on the floor with Dirty Dancing. Truth be told, the gang dances in and out artfully during the course of this epiosde. They dip into the greatness of this iconic 1987 romance, but then pivot, step, and turn to discuss things like The Love Boat, both of the unfortunate Lambada movies, and what was REALLY going on in Mary Poppins' carp...
Aug 18, 2017•1 hr 23 min
This is not a dream, you are receiving this transmission from the very recent past directly into your subconscious...by way of your smart phone. Brian and Cargill bring you a live episode from ArmadilloCon in Austin, Texas! Continuing through the Summer of 87, the guys endure a crisis of reason and delve into the science of faith with John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness. It may not be Carpenter's best film, but JFC argues it's his scariest and most interesting. How do tachyons help us understand...
Aug 10, 2017•52 min
Summer of 87 would not be complete without a trip to Santa Carla as Brian and Cargill take on all the damn vampires of Joel Schumacher's The Lost Boys. They happily sink their teeth into one of the very best vamp movies of the 80s, explaining what makes its appeal live longer than a gnarly bloodsucker. Was Peter Pan a vampire? How did Mayor Hobo Carny get elected? What's in a Corey Combo? Will we ever be free of Sexy Shirtless Sax Man's siren song? Answers to all this, plus they guys explain whe...
Aug 03, 2017•1 hr 12 min
Brian and Cargill's final laps around the Junky Summer of 1987 land them in Summer School. In fact, the guys argue that this is the movie that inspired this entire series (moreso than Robocop, Predator, or The Running Man)? Mark Harmon plays the flunkiest of teachers who gets coerced into teaching a summer school course full of misfits, rejects, and a guy called Chainsaw. While fighting his natural apathy, Shoop (Harmon) falls in love with 80s-tastic Kirstie Alley, runs afoul of a snooty vice pr...
Jul 26, 2017•57 min
Are you ready for pain? Are you ready for suffering? Are you ready for PUNishment? Then you're ready for the new episode of Junkfood Cinema! This week, Brian and Cargill are joined by Night Attack's Justin Robert Young as they blaze through one of the most unexpectedly prophetic movies of all time! The Running Man takes place in a dystopian 2017. A time in which you can't trust what you see on the news, popular television is all about reveling in the suffering of others, and the most powerful ma...
Jul 20, 2017•1 hr 9 min
Brian and Cargill prove they have the powwwwwerrrr to genuinely love even notoriously bad films as their Summer of 1987 series takes them to Eternia to do battle with Masters of the Universe. One of the trio of films that shuttered Cannon Films, Masters of the Universe is a marvel of schlock, but do we dare say it's the best movie ever adapted from a line of toys? We dare anything! If anything, Masters of the Universe is a must-see for the brilliant, no-prisoners performance of Frank Langella al...
Jul 14, 2017•1 hr 7 min
