Donk the Trainer - podcast episode cover

Donk the Trainer

Sep 30, 20244 min
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Episode description

➡︎ Jubal Phone Pranks on The Jubal Show
Need someone to feel the wrath of a Jubal Fresh character? He'll call whoever you want and prank them... so hard. It's funny. Submit yours here: https://forms.gle/mgACgtLBP3SPcyRR7

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Transcript

Speaker 1

It's another jubile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello, Yeah, it's Donk. I'm sorry, who is this Donk? I hope you ready to get started because.

Speaker 2

Like I no, I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. I don't know who this is Vanessa.

Speaker 3

Yes, yeah, this is Donk calling from Fitness. Well, my real name is Paul Donkler, but my friends call me Donk and you can call me Donk. But I'm a trainer here and they just told me that I'm going to be working with you.

Speaker 1

So what up? Okay?

Speaker 3

Uh?

Speaker 2

Yeah, I guess sorry.

Speaker 3

I I didn't really Are you ready to get in some good sweatology with me?

Speaker 2

I don't really know the means, but yes, I'm ready for the sessions I signed up for.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so we're gonna get after it, you know what I mean. And I'm I'm gonna make you ninja sweat like. That's one thing that I really focus on a lot with my clients is making sure that they get a ninja sweat in.

Speaker 2

What the hell is a ninja sweat?

Speaker 1

I've never heard that, you know.

Speaker 3

It's like a thing I came up with for my workout routines and the sweatology that I do in the cardio kinetic department, And what that means is like you're going to be working hell hard and Donk is going to push you until you sweat like a ninja, you know, because I'm sure like ninja's probably sweat a lot because they're like moving around and stuff. So but I think it sounds pretty cool. So we're going to be making you a ninja sweat. I hope you're ready for that.

Speaker 2

Wait, I'm sorry you're Dunk or someone else's Donk. Then I'm gonna be working.

Speaker 1

With I'm Donk.

Speaker 3

Yeah, and I'm excited to like get in there and crush it with you.

Speaker 1

And like I just want to call them.

Speaker 3

I kind of assets your fitness levels, you know, so I know how hard to push and get that ninja sweat out.

Speaker 2

A sess Okay, you know, never mind, I think you're mispronouncing some things and I'm having trouble understanding you.

Speaker 3

How good though, dude, Let's get an asss in real quick, Okay, Like you know when it comes to cardio, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1

Like would you say your.

Speaker 3

Cardio level is like Samurai or you know, like a ducky.

Speaker 2

Oh my god, No, this is not how you evaluate someone's fitness. So like, I don't understand what this is, and so I just want a different personal trainer. So thank you for the call, but can you make sure that you swap me out with someone else who works there?

Speaker 3

DONK will make you ninja sweat. The other trainers, I can tell you they don't have Donk's ninja sweat training cardio kinetic swatology techniques, so perfect.

Speaker 2

I'd like to work with some one who sounds like they have more than a second grade education, the one who I can understand and knows actual fitness terms.

Speaker 3

Okay, well, you're like going to be charged for this session anyway, so like I do what did you do?

Speaker 2

This is like considering, No, no, did you just say I'm being charged for.

Speaker 1

This phone call?

Speaker 3

Yeah, DONK has to charge you for my sweatspertise that I used in this phone call, and gratudi is accepted on all training sessions.

Speaker 1

So like, if you want to throw me like a bone, that'd be cool.

Speaker 2

If anything, you need to pay me for wasting my time. This is absurd. I need to talk to someone else. I'm going to cancel my subscription with this gym. I'm going to find a completely different facility all because of Donk and is freaking Ninja sweating.

Speaker 3

Well, then I'll let you know that this is actually a brank phone call. This is Jubil from the Jubil Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband set you up.

Speaker 1

No, no, okay, it's the show again.

Speaker 2

Wait.

Speaker 3

He said that he just booked some training sessions and he was saying they're gonna get hooked up with a meathead, so he wanted to mess with you.

Speaker 2

No, no, no, wait, So Donk isn't real.

Speaker 3

I mean, he's real in my mind, but like, I don't think you're going to be getting an into sweating with him.

Speaker 1

Sorry, disappointing. Thanks God.

Speaker 2

I was like, do I like to get a lawyer and see this person is crazy?

Speaker 1

Wake up every morning with Jubile phone Franks

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