Welcome back to the drisha said podcast today. We're diving into something that I know resonates deeply for. So many of you, the feeling of having help a strong team, the rock star, right hand people who execute with excellence, but still not feeling truly held. You've done the work of building a powerhouse team on paper. You've got everything in place. But even with all that support, you still carry a weight that feels like it's yours alone to bear.
It's that unshakable feeling of responsibility. The kind that can make success, feel more isolating than inspiring. This episode is called. I have help, but I don't feel held. And today we're going to explore the subtle, but essential shift from being helped to feeling held and why this shift is crucial as you scale your business. In the last episode we talked all about. How to know if it's time to quit and how to recognize when it's time to let go and release. What's no longer serving you.
It was all about learning how to let go, even when it feels uncomfortable. So you can make space for what's truly aligned. Today, we're taking that conversation further. We're talking about the emotional and relational safety you need as a leader, especially as you're scaling your business, the kind of support that doesn't just help you, but truly holds you as you carry the weight of your vision. Let me take you back to a moment that shifted things for me.
It was late at night, the house was quiet and I was sitting in my office, staring at the numbers. My team had just pulled off a $260,000 launch cash collected without me. With out me. They ran it seamlessly. They hit our goals, really surpassed the goals and brought in that cashflow I had within probably five days prior. I got a phone call. Letting me know that my uncle had passed away. And my uncle was really like a father figure to me.
Um, so it really was a huge blow at an emotional level and it was totally unexpected. And I had to fly back home, you know, show up for the funeral, be supportive for my grandmother and my other family members, you know, right before my launch was supposed to take place.
So we had to shift the strategy a ton before I left, you know, fine tuning a few SLPs and really setting my team up as much as I possibly could, to be able to take over all sales for the launch and really be able to hold things down while I went back home for this funeral. And from the outside, it was perfection. Like this was a dream scenario. But. Instead of celebrating, and this is something I haven't really publicly really disclosed that much, but I sat there feeling super, super heavy.
Like my shoulders were tight. My mind was racing and I remember whispering out loud. Why does it still feel like it's all on me? Even though my team did so much and I will never discount their effort, the results that they were able to produce, the quality of clients that they were able to enroll. But have you ever felt that moment, a moment like that before. We're despite everything going right. We still feel like the weight is yours to carry alone.
There's still this burden, this heaviness that still overcomes you. And it's a lonely place to be. And there's very few people who really even understand what the heck you're dealing with. Because again, outside is a girl, what are you even complaining about? But inside internally, I'm like, gee, like, you know, there was just a new weight of responsibility that. It felt kind of difficult to even conceptualize and vocalize it.
I mean, verbalize, I mean, you know, and in that moment I realized something powerful. I wasn't craving more help. I was craving to feel held. And let's be clear. Like my team was phenomenal. I had loyal, talented people who would ride with me until the wheels fell off. You know, in that particular launch was proof. You know, my team executed the strategy. My coaches held the clients down with care and the marketing ran like clockwork. That messaging was dialed in every, you know, the.
The systems that we had created were working efficiently like that year. We far exceeded seven figures and there's no denying it. Like my team is. The primary reason that made that possible. But still the big decisions. The, what if this fails the fears, the evolving vision and just this new weight of responsibility that set still sat squarely on my shoulders. Even as my team handled the day-to-day like pros. I still felt like the CEO, the CMO, the COO, and yes.
The C w T F E O. The whatever the fudge ELLs officer, you know, And here's the kicker. I didn't even realize how alone I felt until I stopped to process it. You know, even though we have really great doers on our team and people who can execute with excellence still that bigger level of decision-making can feel like such a burden to Berry and a burden to carry. I mean, when. Just that that load of responsibility grows. Sometimes it can, it can be difficult to regulate our emotions around it.
So why is it that you can have a strong team, but still feel unsupported? And here's what I realized. There's a difference between being helped and being held help is transactional it's task oriented people, checking boxes, following directions and completing deliverables. It's necessary. Yes, don't get me wrong. But. At certain stages of business, it's not enough. Being held is relational. It's having people who don't just help you with what needs to get done.
They hold space for the Y. The how and the weight of your leadership, the weight of the responsibility, and honestly, the risk you bear as it relates to that responsibility, they understand the vision and they stand shoulder to shoulder, to shoulder with you and carrying it forward. And it's the shift from, what do you need me to do to add God? Let's, I've already figured out a solution and this is what I've started to move forward on, you know? Like more of that. Let's figure this out together.
And that shift is critical because the bigger you grow, the heavier, the vision becomes and you can't hold it all alone. And again, I really want to make sure that I'm contextualized and that I'm really speaking about this at more. It, um, You know, later stages of business growth.
And when you get to a place where you have a lot of the support roles developed and implemented in your business, but you're missing an executive leadership team because usually your executive leadership team are going to be the people that's going to support you with that. Why? And with that, how would that higher strategic level decision-making who also bear some of the risk? Associated with those decisions that have. More weight.
Um, and if they go right, or if they go wrong, And I realized I needed a new kind of support system. You know, one that didn't just help me with tasks, but could hold space for me to step fully into a role as a visionary leader. And to also again, be that. Shared support role when it came to though the more significant, larger impact, bigger risk decision-making and that required two things, one intentional touch points with people who get it.
And what I mean by that is spaces where I could reset intentional time for me to slow down. You know, dedicated space for me to think and process through the decisions that we're making, understanding the consequences and trade-offs of those decisions. And speak the unfiltered truth about what leadership feels like without fear of judgment, shame, or feeling like I'm, you know, not I'm taking for granted all the things that are going right in my business.
So second thing is expanding my definition of team. And I want to talk about that for a second here. So for a long time, I thought my team was just the people on payroll, my employees, my contractors, the folks I delegated to. But I realized my real team included my trusted business friends, the ones I can call when I need perspective. From people who have experience to speak from a place of wisdom.
You know, who have that lived life experience and contextual nuance understanding of what I'm going through. My partner, you know, my significant other who helps me hold down the home front so I can focus on what's going on in the business, my housekeeper and my Instacart delivery folks, like, because they take logistics off my plate.
And my business coach or an advisor, or my mentor who holds the space for me to be, to have to really share that cognitive load, to act as a sounding board to plan and to process through the hard stuff, like a space that's dedicated for me to slow down for me to unravel for me not to have it all figured out. And I think that if you are a solo business owner and what I mean by solo, meaning that you do not have an executive leadership team.
Even if you have employees that, you know, maybe a marketing manager, maybe. Uh, an executive assistant may be a content writer, maybe somebody that helps with customer support, maybe a program coach. Those are all fulfillment functions in the business. If you do not have an executive team, meaning somebody else that holds an executive title in your company. It is so important to have these other.
You know, I think other quote, unquote team members that we don't classify, because when you think at an executive level, when your business is doing more than $700,000 a year, more than a million dollars a year, like you need somebody else to brainstorm and think through and just to share the cognitive load for you to be able to process when it comes to the bigger strategic decision-making, where the risk really resides.
And if you don't have that, you need to build more of an advisory board, which I think can be business peers, your partner at home, your housekeeper, other services that you can automate and decisions that you can automate in your day to day life to open up cognitive gloating capacity and a business coach and advisor, a strategic advisor, somebody else that can serve as that sounding board and kind of play the role of what an executive.
Uh, support team member would kind of play, but in a different dynamic. And when I expanded my definition of team, it was like a light bulb went off. I was not alone anymore. I just hadn't been seeing the ways I was already being held. And if this resonates with you. Here are five signs. It might be time to upgrade your support system and to be more properly resourced for the level of responsibility that you bear. One is you're handling all the big decisions.
Solo. If, I mean the big decisions in regards to strategy, what the offer needs to be, how you're positioning the offer, what the core messaging needs to be like. Those are core. Big decisions that influence the business model and influence the ability for you to be able to scale it. That might be an opportunity where okay. I might need to upgrade my support system and be more properly resourced for the responsibility that I'm bearing. Number two is you avoid sharing your deeper challenges.
I mean, those unspoken emotions, those. You know that those deeper. Challenges that you are maybe emotionally wrestling with that really is having an impact on your belief system and your belief in what's possible in you. Feeling safe. Accomplishing more success, like anything related to that. Number three is you're wearing too many hats and more than likely all of us fall into this category. Like if you're the primary person responsible for marketing.
You're the primary person responsible for the larger strategic operational decision-making. If you have a really great person on your team, but there's no buffer. Like there's no, like maybe you, you have great players, but there's no other like managerial leadership role that can serve as a buffer between you and them. Like, you're probably wearing too many hats. Um, and this is also very true, especially as maybe. Depending on also what your other personal life priorities are.
Where your cognitive load is maybe stretched or too thin. And when the, when your cognitive load. Capacity shifts. Usually more support is needed. Um, Depending on the season of life and what's going on in your personal life and how that's impacting your ability to show up and perform at a, at a peak level within the business. Number four, you feel like the last line of defense? All the time, like everything still ends in stops with you.
And number five scaling feels like a personal burden, not a shared effort. If any of those sound familiar? You know, it's time to ask yourself, what would it take for me to feel truly held? And how would I like to be properly resourced for this next season? And what, what does that type of resourcing look like? What is the help that I, I wish I was receiving or that I need to be asking for. So let's take a moment right here. If you're in a safe space for you to do this, close your eyes.
If you're not driving. And just take a moment to reflect. What does true support look like for me? Who are the people I need. What roles do they play? What decisions do they maybe help? Me, Carrie. Where are you still carrying the load alone right now in the business or at home? And really be honest with yourself here. Where do you need help? The most. And I want you to write down the first thing that comes to mind.
Cause usually it's the thing that we know that we need, but we are afraid to ask for help around. And how can you communicate those needs? What conversations do you need to have with your team, your partner, or your existing advisors that you're currently already working with? And I want you to take some time to write that down and give yourself permission to name what you need. Also, I invite you to re-listen to that part of this episode and really spend some time answering those questions.
So if you need to play this back, run it back a second time, baby. Okay. And really get to the root of what, how you want to be resourced and what support you need and what help you need to be asking for. So here's what I want you to remember. True support. Isn't just about getting help. It's about being held in your vision and your purpose. When you build a system of intentional aligned support, you don't just lighten the load. You create the space to lead scale and succeed without burning out.
Without resenting what it is that you're building. And it creates an opportunity for you to actually be able to sustain, sustain the success that you've created. There's one thing about accomplish getting sick, becoming successful. It's a very different game to be able to sustain the success that you've created to replicate it. And you might've been able to get to this point of success. With ver being under resourced.
Which I think is true for a lot of us, but you may realize that being under resource to be able to sustain the success is no longer. Maybe available or it's no longer available without significantly sacrificing yourself. And that may not be something you're willing to do anymore. So I just want to close us out with an affirmation to help ground you into this. I am supported. Held and fully capable of sharing the weight of my vision. I would love for you to just say that back again.
I am supported, held, and fully capable of sharing the weight of my vision. So, I just want to remind you that you are so you can be supported. The support that you need is within reach. And you deserve to be held. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. If this spoke to you, please share it with somebody else that needs to hear it. And feel free to tag me on Instagram. If you want to continue the conversation. And I will chat with you next time. Andrea said.