There's a version of me that could push through anything, and I did four years I could engineer a six figure launch down to the dollar, hit a revenue goal on demand. My old motto really was exceed the bar. I. I look up the stats, I would learn the benchmarks, then I would do whatever I had to do to beat them. And that mindset really shaped everything for me. How I built, how I carried, how I coped, really my whole sense of self-identity was rooted in that.
All through college, my corporate career as an engineer and this. Especially, I carried that mindset with me into entrepreneurship. You know, I carried the weight of managing the household logistics, tracking the moving pieces. No one else was talking about the bills, the birthdays, the grocery list, the mental calendar of who needed what and when.
And on top of that, you know, I was building and scaling a business from scratch, navigating rocky relationships and holding the emotional weight of it all with a detailed planned in hand. But here's what I've been sitting with lately. What happens when your nervous system stops? Confusing urgency with identity? What happens when pushing isn't your default anymore? And this is what healing hyper independence has looked like for me.
This is something I've really been working through over the past maybe nine to 12 months, and there was a time when I wore my capability, like a badge of honor. Okay. I could carry more, hold more outlast the chaos, like that was my edge and that really was my identity. So now when I intentionally choose to do less, when I say no to pushing, when I walk away from the race, it can feel like this shrinking experience for me, which has really been hard to hold even when I know I'm not, you know?
But here's the tension I've been sitting with. Just because I can doesn't mean that I should. Just because I know how to push doesn't mean that. That version of me is still who I want to be, and that version of me feels further and further away. And that's brought up a new kind of discomfort that I've been learning how to sit in. Because when you choose a different path, when you decide not to chase the same version of success everyone else is posting about, it's so easy to feel othered.
Like you suddenly are on the outside of a club you helped to build and who I feel like you used to be the president of. And if I'm being really honest, it's not, you know, I'm not just starting to notice a pattern, but really this is a pattern that I haven't really named yet for myself. What I noticed that I had been doing repeatedly is that as, as soon as I get comfortable, as soon as things feel really secure and feel really steady.
I feel this inner tension and this inner turmoil that I am not doing enough. I'm playing too small, I'm being irresponsible. I'm going to lose everything that I've built. And then my default thought is that you need to stretch your edge again. Like, oh, things are comfortable. That means you're not working hard enough. That means you need to. Push yourself to the edge of what you can tolerate. Oh, things are feeling really steady and feeling kind of manageable. Mm-hmm. Right? Alarm woo woo.
You need to do more, push harder, like put more on your plate. And before I get into the rest of this episode, I just wanna say thank you so much for tuning in. I, um, am really excited to. To break down this whole healing from my hyper independence with you. And I do wanna take a moment just to shout out, uh, those of you who have been leaving a review lately, it just means so much to me. You know, that is the number one way that people find my podcast, is when you share it with somebody else.
You send somebody a dm. Or you text it to one of your friends, um, or you leave a review. So I just wanna take a moment just to say thank you for those of you guys who have left a review. Um, this is a five star review from the working mom coach, and I just wanna give her a quick shout out. She said, Isha said, is such a refreshing take on marketing without the hustle and convincing energy. I actually stopped and took notes during the podcast because the information was so great.
Um, the Working Mom Coach, thank you so much for tuning in and let's get back into this episode. So the moment things feel steady, a part of me looks for the next mountain to climb. And that has been a repeated pattern that I have noticed about myself. Not always because I want more, but because ease still feels super unfamiliar. It feels untrustworthy. Even like if I don't stretch myself, I'm somehow slipping. I'm somehow playing small. I'm somehow putting at risk.
Everything that I've created for myself, I'm putting my security at risk and I'm learning to sit with that discomfort instead of reacting to it. I'm learning not to make a hard season just to prove that I can handle it where I used to self-sabotage and I would literally manufacture discomfort in my seasons or discomfort in what I was doing just so that I could recreate the chaos where I had more comfort in before. And that's the pattern I'm really trying to break.
And one thing that I was recently talking to a client about and I resonated so much because she's been feeling something similar, is that this, this heaviness that you are feeling right now. It might be here for a couple of days or for a couple of weeks, but it's also very healthy that you know me operating at the edge of what I can tolerate and me always feeling as if I have to stretch my.
My, my capacity for what I can hold, like that being this constant push, this constant pursuit, the fact that I'm able to name it, the fact that I'm able to slow down and pause within it. The fact that I'm able to articulate what is going on is a sign that I am healing. It is a sign that my awareness is at a better state. The fact that I'm willing to pause and that I can sit in the discomfort while I'm pausing. It's a huge testament to growth.
So if you're in something similar, just recognize that progress may not be about there being an avoidance or there being a lack of a weight that is noticeable in your life or in your business or in the season, but your progress is in your ability to have different choices and different responses to what you do with the heaviness that you now feel. And again, that's a pattern that I'm trying to break. And the other thing that's been coming up for me is that there is a loneliness.
A sense of isolation that comes with choosing ease and a culture that worships exhaustion because let's be honest, this world doesn't always celebrate rest. It idolizes the woman who wakes up at five 30 in the morning who time blocks her day down to the 15 minute increments, who scaling two businesses while managing a team of 15. Who's on flights every other weekend, closing deals in her designer heels. Like that's the image we are shown.
And like honestly, when I look up to peers of mine who are in the industry who are really crushing it like that is their lifestyle. It is very fast paced. It is very jam packed. Like it's these large teams, these. Um, different loads of risk tolerance that they are carrying, and that's a version of success that I feel like is often the one that is most, um, spotlighted and most amplified. So when you choose not to keep up with that pace.
When you say, actually, I want a slower, maybe softer, maybe saner way to succeed. 'cause success doesn't mean that it, you know, just because you choose to do it at a different pace doesn't mean that your success isn't inevitable. But you know, you really risk being misunderstood when you choose that alternative path.
And it can be so easy to fall into comparison, to fall into feeling like you're doing something wrong, to feel like, you know, the, the, the voices that are internal really start to get louder that. The self-doubt and you're questioning yourself and all of it, but like choosing peace over performance will confuse people who only know you by your productivity. And I wanna say that again.
'cause as somebody who used to pride herself and how productive she could be, as somebody who used to be known for her grit and her resilience, and how hard she could hustle, and how scrappy she was and what she could tolerate and what she could hold. Choosing peace over performance will confuse people who only know you buy your productivity. It's a big difference now. It's not that you're any less capable, it's that you're no longer willing to portray yourself to prove what you are capable of.
And even when you're doing what's right for you, it can still feel like you don't belong in the ecosystem that you're operating in. And that's something I've also been really wrestling with. Um, 'cause you know, you look around and you wonder like, do I still fit in here? Do people still respect me if I'm not striving the way that I used to? What community spaces make sense for me to attach myself to, to join, to invest in when it feels like?
The promises and the purpose of all these other masterminds or group programs are rooted in a, a version of my identity that I'm trying to heal from. It's like, where do I belong? Who do I talk to? Who is my community? Um, and sometimes the most radical thing that you can do is step off the pedestal you built and stop performing for the applause. You know, I think this is something that is so necessary, especially in the digital marketing online space because.
Unlike other professions, we are constantly being judged, viewed, looked at on a daily basis because we create content and we show up and we share our perspective. Like the more visible you get, the uh, more likelihood that you're gonna be open to being misunderstood. And just choosing a different version of success has made me feel like an outcast at times. You know, not because I'm failing, but because I'm no longer subscribing to the same. Proven blueprint or the same path.
The same script anymore. And when you stop performing, people don't always know where to place you. You know? And honestly, again, some of those internal thoughts that I keep having to self-coach myself through and have a external sounding board to regain perspective on is like, am I playing too small? And or is it just that I just want something different now?
Like, and that's just, it's a layer dynamic because I go back and forth between this, but I think I'm at a point now where I'm settling in to this version of enoughness and I think it's been difficult for me to hold, like. What is it? What does it mean about me if I don't wanna scale to eight figures? Like if I don't want to engineer another record breaking revenue month, like, and still there's this little voice that sometimes whispers like, shouldn't you still want that?
It's the residue of being in a space where ambition was and had one definition, more money, more clients, more growth. Faster, faster, faster. Where success is about what you can hold, what you can hustle, and how long you can sustain that unrelenting pace. And yet I've started asking myself a different question.
I. And you've heard me talk about this over the past handful of episodes, um, or sprinkled throughout the episodes in this, in the podcast over the past year because I've really been asking myself different questions. And I'm just here to tell you, I'm still wrestling with the tension of being okay with a different version of success than what I have anchored my identity to over the past eight years. But what if more means something different now to me, which is what it feels like it does.
You know, more looks like having the energy to be present with my partner, to show up for my family. Um, last weekend I flew 2300 miles to go to Detroit, just to go to my cousin's graduation. It was a 30 hour trip. I had the capacity to do that, you know, to be present for my friends, to be able to call my friends in the morning and chit chat on FaceTime and check in with my friends, uh, via text. Without that feeling like it's a back burner thought, that always gets pushed off.
Where I'm scheduling, meeting up with my friends six months from now on a particular two days that I have available that's carved out like, um, success for me and more for me now looks like having the capacity and spaciousness to enjoy slow mornings.
Instead of rushing into work, you know, as somebody who has been trying to adjust her hormones and work through her cortisol levels that have been really imbalanced, slow mornings have been critical for my own stress management, for my gut health, and being able to have that spaciousness in my calendar where I'm not waking up with an already predetermined three hour checklist that has to get done. Um, but I'm able to ease into my mornings ease into.
Working out, you know, slow down and have a very mindful, intentional breakfast. Um, even just preparing moods meals for myself now that don't feel like I have to hire a chef or feel like I have to, you know, delegate everything. 'cause I just don't have the capacity. Like more is having that capacity to nurture myself and take care of myself. And for that to feel like a priority more looks like mastering my craft.
Not for the applause, but for alignment, for congruency, for my own sense of self-fulfillment, for knowing that I put, uh, my all into something and I've created something that I'm truly proud of for myself. And to be honest, I've had to revisit this truth more than once. You know, this isn't a concept I've figured out and tucked neatly into a journal. It's something I've had to keep talking about, something I've needed to process out loud more than once.
And I, if you've been listening to the podcast over the past year, you've noticed this as a recurring theme, but it's a recurring theme because it's also, um, it's something that. It's not like my logical brain knows that I'm safe. My logical brain knows that me defining a new definition of success is the best thing for me in this season, and there's still a part of my other, part of my brain, this other part of my identity that I'm still healing from and healing through and healing with.
That's like, hmm. Is it really safe for you to adjust your pace? Girl? Mm. Can you really make money doing what you love, honoring your capacity and honoring the spaciousness, but still being able to deliver well? Mm. Are you not playing small? Because what you want looks different than how you, what you've been kind of told, or what you've believed is supposed to look like? And, ugh, that little whisper, that little ghetto voice in the back of my mind. Telling me shit and I want more.
It doesn't disappear just because you intellectually know better. Sometimes the only way to quiet the mental chatter is to process it externally to get it out of your head and into a conversation to say the thing and have someone mirror back that you are not crazy, that this all makes sense and to help validate that and hold space for you while you're processing, because mental clarity doesn't come from having the right answer.
It comes from having the space to say the messy, unsure thing out loud without being judged for it. That's what the integration looks like and what it has looked like for me, not just knowing something, but living in alignment with it again and again. I. And part of that integration work has meant digging deeper into this root of hyper independence because I didn't just wake up one day craving ease. I had to unravel why it felt so hard to let go of the push in the first place.
And let me pause here and just give some context around like what hyper independence really is, because hyper independence is self-protection in disguise. It's a habit of doing it all yourself, not because you genuinely want to, but because at some point it became safe, unsafe to trust others. And I think that's a really important concept to understand. When I say I'm healing hyper independence, I'm talking about the internal pattern that says I'm safest when I do everything myself.
I am talking about the internal pattern that says receiving help is risky or means I'm bound to be disappointed. My value comes from what I can carry and how fast I can carry it. Hyper independence is control masquerading as confidence. If you were praised for never needing anyone, healing will look like letting someone else carry responsibility even when you're still perfectly capable of doing it yourself.
And listen, I've been capable my whole life, but being capable is not the same as being cared for. That mindset served me for a very long time, and it got me through some real shit, but it also quietly convinced me that I had to earn love, I had to earn rest, and I had to earn ease. So when I started stepping into a new season of life, one being in a super supportive relationship. And just thinking about like the version of what I want my experience of motherhood to be like.
I was shocked at how uncomfortable that felt because it was really given that Gabrielle Union 50 50 or bust energy. But in my case, I caught myself clinging to the last shreds of independence as proof that I was still safe. You know, I would say things like, well, I'm still paying half the mortgage, as if that made it more okay to accept the rest of the support that was being offered in my household and from my partner.
And as if letting someone else carry more meant I was somehow failing or I was putting myself at risk, or I would be unsafe for me to depend on somebody in that way. And it's wild because on paper, this is what I had prayed for. But in practice receiving it required a whole new version of safety inside my body. So healing hyper independence has looked like letting my man take care of things without me hovering, worrying, or jumping into just do it myself. If he says, do you need anything?
My answer is always yes. Yes to the help. Yes to the softness, yes, to being held. It's not about what I'm capable of doing, it's about allowing myself to be cared for. Okay. Uh, healing my hyper independence has looked like me when I go back to Detroit. Staying at a friend's house, not getting a rental car, letting my friends drive me around. As somebody who had, does not do that, that was probably one.
I just, when I went back home from my cousin's graduation, I stayed at one of my friend's houses and I told her, I said, listen. She's been begging me to come and stay at her house for years. And if you listen to a recent episode I did with Monique Shields, we talked about this, um, if you recall that from a few episodes ago, but I, I, I did it guys. Okay? I asked to stay at my friend's house.
I received her invitation, but before I got there, I texted her and I said, this is like a level eight discomfort level for me. Uh, I'm doing it 'cause I know this is gonna be a growth opportunity for our friendship, but it's also a growth opportunity for me of allowing myself to be cared for. And as somebody who just always gets her own hotels, always books her own cars, always takes care of herself when she goes someplace. That was a version of me healing my hyper independence.
Um, another version of this has looked like allowing myself to be resourced. Not because I can't figure it out, but because I don't want to do it all alone anymore. You know, hiring project based help delegating what I could easily do myself, working with a coach, not because I'm lost, but because I value support. And I think too, even when it comes to hiring help.
I, um, really only used to hire help if I was in a hyper-growth state, which was my entire business before this, you know, versus now, even when I'm steady, I'm still committed to having a coach. Even when I'm not trying to grow double or triple my revenue, I still have coach, I still have support in my corner because I think that that is something for me that I need to normalize, that IOI. I deserve help even when I'm not in a constant state of stretch.
I deserve help and being supported and to be resourced, even if I'm in a calmer state, I'm in a chill state because I don't want to hold all the responsibility or the, I don't wanna hold the cognitive load alone anymore. Um, another way that I've been healing it is just letting life be good without waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know, sometimes the next level of growth isn't adding more to your plate.
It's learning how to let someone else carry it for once, or carry versions of it or parts of it. And as I began to unpack that identity and welcome in support, something else started to shift too, my relationship with money. Because when you enter or when, when your entire sense of safety has been rooted in self-reliance, money isn't just currency. It is proof. Proof that you're secure. That you're doing enough, that you're worthy.
But when that need to prove begins to fade, so does the way that you chase. Some people chase growth by stretching their limits. I'm growing by choosing to respect mine because when you're used to building from survival revenue, become revenue goals, become your lifeline. They're how you create security. They're how you prove that you're okay. They're how you justify your rest. But now money feels so different.
It's no longer about chasing a number, but it's about building a rhythm I can actually live inside of. So I'm not scaling for applause anymore. I'm building for stability. I am no longer interested in maxing out my risk tolerance just because I can. I've done the season of high risk, high speed, high stakes, and what I mean by that is like I lived through the season of moving every 18 months pretty much my entire life.
Up until hopefully now I'm praying I do not move another 18 months, but like my entire life, even as a kid, I moved about every 18 to 24 months, you know? And then when I think about like this journey, since you've seen me on being an entrepreneur and building my business, I went from living in a $600 a month apartment in Westland, Michigan, to within 18 months, living in a high rise, my dream apartment in downtown Detroit, paying the most I had ever paid in rent.
To 18 months later to purchasing a $5,000, I mean a 5,000 square foot historic home in Sherwood Forest in Detroit. Then from there, joining the Detroit Golf Club, my entire lifestyle, changing to 18 months later, selling that house moving 2300 miles across the country. I had my little stunting season, yet I cannot believe I'm about to admit this on here, but I was spending $11,000 a month in rent for my apartment for about 18 to 20 months. Which was such a good experience for me.
I, I do believe that if you are new money, you should have a, a responsible, um, hustle. I mean, as a responsible stunt in season to just enjoy the, the limits of what this new money can kind of afford and experiences you never knew you could have. That, that living in that apartment really upgraded my identity in a way I didn't know, I just didn't know was available. I did that for 18 to 20 months. Um, purchased another property, renovated that property cash.
I was investing in hedge funds, crypto, private equity evaluations, potential franchise deals. Like all of this was happening so quickly all while my business was still doubling in tripling every year. So I know what it costs, like I know what it felt like to live in a high risk, high volatility, high speed, high stakes for about five or six years.
My nervous system was fried and 'cause it was like, baby, it's like you keep trying to run the marathon and your body's like, bro, can we please just go for a walk? Like my heart rate was through the roof and I knew what that felt like. And because behind the milestones was at pace, that burned through my energy. It caused so much fog with my sense of clarity and my sense of self. My nervous system was fried.
Way that my therapist kind of describes it is like I, I gave my nervous system no time to titrate. I would just open the ball, go to the most expansive version possible, and I just kept stretching it and stretching it and stretching it, versus allowing my nervous system to titrate to that edge. I just skipped all the steps and went to the furthest realm possible, and it was a cycle of self abandonment is what also tense started to happen.
Of following blueprints that I never paused long enough to ask myself if I even wanted in the first place. I was attaching myself to versions of success that I never checked in with myself to even ask, is that an outcome that you even want? I was outsourcing myself, trust, waiting for someone else to give me permission or to validate my ideas. Like it. It created such a divide with what I was doing and who I was and my ability to trust myself in that.
And, and also living at the edge of what I could tolerate for so many years and constantly stretching the limits of what that was. It made me terrified to slow down. Like I became very, very afraid of a slower pace because the slowness, when you were so used to moving at such a high speed, felt so disorienting. Um, that's what felt unsafe when really the speed at which I was moving at was the problematic issue. So I don't need volatility. I don't need volatility to prove that I can weather it.
That has been a core truth that I have been learning in this season, that I need steadiness to prove that I'm safe without it. You know, there's nothing cute about choosing and chasing chaos, which hand raising up, that's what I had been doing. I used to see risk as power. Now I see power in having options and breathing room. So now the question I ask myself is simple is what's actually sustainable and what is it that you actually want?
In this season of life, in this season of business for where you're at right now, like what are you happy with? And I've already proven that I can outpace the pressure. I don't want to scale faster. I want to scale without betraying myself. I used to tolerate chaos for the payoff. Now I'm building a life that doesn't require a 12 month sabbatical for recovery. Okay?
So I used to treat my business like a race, like every launch, every quarter, every year was run faster, beat your last record, and stay ahead. And that was the only speed that I knew. Sprinting was the strategy. Overachieving was the baseline, and I wanted to prove that I could now. I ain't trying to win a, I'm not even trying to win a race anymore. I don't even want to run a race.
I'm focused on staying in my game, on building something that I want to last in, you know, something that won't cost me my health, my joy or my peace to maintain, and I don't want adrenaline based success anymore. Like, I want a regulated success.
And I think something too, for entrepreneurs, especially those of us who might be, uh, a little bit more seasoned, there's a high amount of dopamine that happens with this fast-paced, adrenaline based success that I've been talking about, and I do think that many of us get addicted to it.
Oftentimes because we do not have enough dopamine happening in other areas of our life, like we get so much of our joy and sense of self-fulfillment and the dopamine hits as being purely sourced from the business when, and I think that's a really problematic space to be in, especially if you start to notice that as a pattern is because I think sometimes we can put all of our energy and all of our identity into the business.
So all of our joy, sense of self-worth, sense of validation, all the dopamine hits is only being sourced through the business because we actually haven't created a life. We haven't nurtured relationships. We haven't explored other interests and curiosities and hobbies. We haven't allowed ourselves to tap into other things outside of work that can fulfill those things that yes, you need as a human, but should not be solely sourced from the business, you know?
Um. Like I said, I, I just, I don't want an adrenaline based success anymore. I want a regulated success from the business, not the kind that spikes and crashes, but the kind that feels good to live inside of every day, not just during launches. So I'm no longer chasing visibility or volume. I'm chasing alignment. I'm, I'm in pursuit of integrity.
And I think really where I've been wrapping my mind around is like, my new version of success is really about mastery of my craft, and I'll talk about that a little bit more. In just a little bit. But these days I'm measuring success by how resourced I feel while doing the work.
I am measuring success by how resourced I feel while doing the work, by how honest I can be in my delivery, by how much of myself I get to bring to the table without burning out, trying to prove anything or trying to keep up with anyone or anything like that, like. Self-mastery is the new metric, and the work is really the reward.
It's a byproduct of me remaining committed to myself, and when I stopped performing to prove something and started creating from a place of clarity and calm, guess what happened? The money still came, the money is still coming. You know, in fact, it flowed so much more freely, it flowed so much more easefully. Like, it felt so much more pleasurable to be quite honest. Um, the happier I felt, the more grounded I became. The more naturally my business grew.
I. Not just in revenue or client count, but in fulfillment, in spaciousness and ease and the caliber of the client relationships that I was attracting. Because I wasn't gripping, I was not grasping. I wasn't trying to force results or outpace my capacity. I was offering. I was showing up from wholeness instead of hustle. I was creating from desire and not desperation, and people felt that, my clients felt that. I felt that, and I know you do too.
You can always tell when somebody's operating from peace instead of pressure. And I wanna be honest with something else too. I. There was a time that I judged other women who had this type of support that I'm talking about.
I think it was because there was a part of me that just could not understand the concept that some that was somebody else's like day-to-day reality, like women who had husbands that funded their businesses or were their financial providers in their household, and any money that they made was really nice to have money. It wasn't needed money.
Um, women who came from trust funds or very generous parents, or who had these safety nets that let them leap without looking like women who didn't have to run the numbers five times before reminding themselves they were financially safe. Like, who could just take big risks, mess it up, and still land on their feet because someone else was there to catch them. Like, I, that was the, the concept of that. Like, I knew that those people existed. I just did not understand it.
And there was a part of me that either I, I'm not sure if it was a judgment or you know, a level of enviness, it was a level of confusion. 'cause it was just something that was so out of the realm of what I even knew how to experience or anything that I had personally felt. And I used to just tell myself like, bro, we are not the same. Like, we got different starting lines. And I think that that was something too. It was like, I felt like I was so, I felt like I was so far behind.
The starting line that I saw so many other women starting at, I felt that that was something else I had to prove. Like I had to catch up. I needed to, you know what? These other women got to benefit. From, from previous generations. I needed to do the LA you know, in a short timeframe. Like I couldn't wait until my kids' kids benefited from this. I needed to do it now. And that's what also contributed to the speed at which I, of the pressure that I put on myself.
'cause I felt I was so far behind the starting line. I felt like I, you know, I was my own safety net. I didn't have other people that I could rely on or depend on to take risks or to show up for me financially. I did, I literally could not afford to make a mistake. You know, if I made the mistake, I couldn't afford to try again. Um, and that was a very real reality for me for a long time. Um, and I used to really think like, Hey, look, we're not the same. And for a long time we weren't.
You know, I was an accidental breadwinner in my previous marriage. Um, I was the one who really made it work. And my family, like my family dynamic, they call me when problems arise, you know? I was the one with no fallback plan. I carried the weight and I held it all. And that had been my story for years. So yeah, I held some distance, like, you know, I held some judgment, if I'm being really honest. Um, maybe even just some quiet, quiet resentment. But now.
I'm becoming the woman I used to judge. I'm becoming the woman I used to silently resent. And that's been a lot to unpack, you know, because that is what I prayed for. You know, a partner who supports me. Um, a partner who bears the risk and the responsibility financially in our household. I, you know, prayed for a life where with more softness than strain, I prayed for a business that doesn't demand my constant force to stay afloat and for me to feel safe and believing that that is true.
Um, but now that I have it. Uh, you know, I'm getting married. I hope motherhood is in the, in the horizon at uh, um, in the short horizon. You know, after taking a sabbatical and redesigning my business, like I'm facing a new challenge, releasing the belief that I have to do it all alone, to be worthy of it, and am learning to sit in this new identity, not with guilt, not with shame, but with softness, with gratitude, with openness. And sometimes a breakthrough isn't earning more.
It's allowing yourself to receive what you no longer have to hustle for. I'm allowed to be supported. I'm allowed to be well-resourced. I'm allowed to make decisions from desire and not just survival. I'm allowed to let it be easier. Now I'm allowed to be this woman, and maybe that's the part. No one tells you that letting yourself be supported softens everything that releasing control doesn't mean that you lose yourself.
It means you finally get to meet the version of you that doesn't have to hold it all. So if you've been in a similar place, or maybe holding similar judgment like I used to, where your ambition is shifting, where your desires are changing, where your body is asking you for something gentler, where you're no longer available for proving, welcome to the club. This is the work. This is what it looks like to build from enough. To create from fullness to Chase mastery instead of metrics.
And I just hope that this conversation allows us to normalize this a little bit more, um, and to allow us to expand the definition of what success means to name this as growth, and for us to count it as growth. Because healing hyper independence doesn't mean that you lose your edge. It means you finally learn how to use it with discernment. And that's the version of success I want to build from now. A success that's sustainable, spacious, rooted in truth, and that's more than enough for me.
So I just, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Um, if you have any downloads or insights, feel free to pop it into comments to send me a DM over on Instagram. I'm at Isha Hawk. Um, let me know what you think and if you're navigating something similar. Um, but I will see you in the next episode. I hope you have a blessed, uh, rest of your day and I'll talk to you soon.