In which some universes are more pleasant than others; Havok is basically a Care Bear; Wolverine is a P.R. nightmare; Nate Grey tries; stealth is not among the Silver Surfer’s strengths; Night Thrasher ascends to godhood; Jay and Miles dive down the What If rabbit hole.
In which the moments of X-Universe are better than the whole; the code name “Dirigible” carries some inherent risks; Tony Stark is often more interesting without Iron Man; Clint Barton is no James Rhodes; there is somehow a Matt Murdock who makes even worse choices than the one from Earth-616; nobody should ever trust Mikhail Rasputin; and the baby’s name really doesn’t matter.
In which Nate Grey is a drama kid; Forge-295 is the hero we need; Mister Sinister is a graduate of the Danielle “Moonstar” Moonstar school of secret identities; and we really, really, really wish that the theater troupe had gotten the ongoing series.
In which Magneto doesn’t really do work/live divide; Amazing X-Men is a bit of a misnomer; Exodus is the lawful evil to Fabian Cortez’s chaotic evil; smoking is bad for you; moisture molecular inversion is fairly definitely not a real thing; Earth-295 Quicksilver and Earth-616 Cyclops would probably get along; OSHA would probably like a word with the Madrii; Gambit had ONE JOB; and there are no superheroes in the Age of Apocalypse.
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talked about a whole bunch of random topics suggested by you! Topics, sorta: Good birds Dinosaurs Florida Nostalgic video games Booze Avatar: The Last Airbender Probably some other stuff I'm forgetting
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which this episode may or may not be a temporal aberration; Gambit is bad at marketing; Jubilee’s sixth birthday was probably worse than yours; Earth-295’s chronology doesn’t make that much more sense than 616’s; Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau wears this timeline well; Rictor makes a terrible Javert; Jubilee has no time for your makeouts; superheroes are basically preschoolers; there is only one Jahf; babies are bad at stealin...
In which a whole lot of things burn; Nightcrawler gets gritty; it’s hard to be Dead Man Wade; Apocalypse’s IT department has some explaining to do; Mystique is the most mom of all moms; Doug Ramsey dies (again); and Jay will fight anyone who says comics can't be "real" literature.
In which not all Mondos are created equal; the kids are only rarely all right; the Age of Apocalypse is not Magneto’s fault; Sugar Man is the stuff of universal nightmares; “cartoonish” is not necessarily a plus; and the Age of Apocalypse is not particularly sustainable.
This would usually be a skip week, but the world is still being a jerk, so we made you a bonus, entirely unedited, and almost entirely off-topic episode. This time, we talk about the (non-comic) books we grew up on! Books we mentioned, alphabetical by author: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams Start with: The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander Start with: The Book of Three The Magic of Xanth by Piers Anthony Start with: A Spell f...
In which it is probably not actually possible to be too nasty for Earth-295; Sinister is on nobody’s side but his own; Vulcan is still the worst Summers in the multiverse; the Bedlam Brothers are too delightful for the EMF; Heaven is just straight-up Rick’s Bar now; Polaris of Earth-295 is the saddest Polaris; Scott Summers and Jean Grey make a good team in most universes; and the metaphors of 1995 read very differently in 2020.
In which we celebrate a birthday; nuclear war is never a good Plan A; every Logan is Old Man Logan; we are underwhelmed by the Pretty Boys of Earth-295; Jean Grey is one hell of a pilot; there are so many reasons not to like Donald Pierce; teleporters are the narrative nuclei of the Age of Apocalypse; and Gateway of Earth-295 deserves significantly more in-depth exploration than we can provide.
In which it’s kind of a relief to be talking about a fictional apocalypse right now; Joe Madureira defines the look of the mid-late 1990s; Sunfire is less cheesecake than crepes Suzette; it all comes back to capes; Wild Child is more than he seems; Holocaust sucks about as much as you’d expect of someone who picked that code name; Jay has surprisingly strong feelings about Morph; Miles is all about judging some babies; resistance is fundamental to the X-Men’s identity within a superhero-universe...
Normally, this would be a skip week and there wouldn't be an episode - but things are pretty weird in the world right now. Let's talk X-Men comfort reads - with bonus complete lack of editing!
In which this episode is way more topical than it was when we recorded it; Apocalypse makes a terrible Statue of Liberty; there are no reliable narrators; Robbie Robertson and Carmen Sandiego are your new OTP; Emplate is creepy in any universe; lawful evil is still evil; and partial universe reboots come with some fairly silly problems.
In which Magneto is a drama llama in any universe (but a remarkably decent parent in at least one); the soap opera hits the Age of Apocalypse; Weapon X is a man made of red flags; Gambit has an OT3; the better man wins; some blanks are better left unfilled; and we would probably not fare too well on Earth-295.
In which we enter the Age of Apocalypse!
In which Sunspot is a bad enough dude to save the president; Black Air is nowhere near as fun as WHO; we reach the end of Fabian Nicieza’s X-Force run; Rictor and Shatterstar talk about feelings; Gambit does not go gently into that good night; Scott and Jean choose family over continuity; Legion Quest comes to a close, along with Earth-616; the heart of Dawn of X is its margins; you should come see us at ECCC; and we announce a new schedule.
In which Goldballs is still a better name than Egg; we continue our progress towards Earth-295; Legion pulls a Stryfe; we’re still pretty shaky on how to pronounce “M’Kraan”; Xavier and Magneto were absolutely and unquestionably doing sex in the 1970s; it’s time time; the Watcher is watching you masturbate; and what happens immediately before the end of the world is often as important as what happens immediately after.
In which we sit down with writer Chip Zdarsky to talk crossovers, continuity, metaphors, and X-Men/Fantastic Four!
In which Jay is writing a Cyclops one-shot; It is honestly truly almost Legion Quest; Mystique plays the long game; sometimes filler is a good thing; Havok is a geophysicist, not a geographer; Lila definitely stole it; and more stories should be set in space junkyards.
In which the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning should really be the setting of a stoner comedy; Garrabed Bashur’s brain is probably 90% porn by now; the tide always takes the castle; William Drake remains terrible; Adam X the X-Treme deserved better; Jay pitches a series; disability is not a boolean and exclusively medically-defined state; and we are all about some weird X-Men tie-in products.
In which Warpath and Colossus should start a support group; X-Force gets a new HQ; we make an unprecedently large number of musical-theater references; Cable is a highly qualified individual; tranq darts don’t work like that; Emma Frost gives fairly decent advice; the malls of Boston will never be the same again; and we need mutant body diversity now.
In which the future is not great at codenames; spot foil is cool as hell; Mountjoy is bafflingly business-themed; Bishop goes full Point Break; Jean Grey and Lorna Dane should absolutely be friends; and Jay & Miles are heading to ECCC 2020!
In which Jay would absolutely fight Christmas; we welcome guest X-Perts Christina Strain and Chip Zdarsky; a gift arrives; we consider the relationship of Generation X to Generation X; it is really not okay to leave your discarded skins lying around; D.O.A. is inordinately delightful; Chamber is the punk Shadow; Gateway goes to school; the Generation X TV movie is very, very bad; telepathy is free; the grown-ups are all right; home sucks; freedom rocks; Mondo deserves better; Matt Frewer did mos...
In which Moonstar really wasn’t fooling anybody; Bird Brain is somehow still alive; Cassidy Keep is weird; Gene Ha draws excellent Storm; Reeva Page makes her sole comics appearance; and Shinobi Shaw is wrong about everything.
In which Sauron is a huge nerd; the Savage Land is where Marvel stores the weird stuff; an etymology detour does not come from the X-Pert you’d expect; and Storm will straight-up stab you.
In which Excalibur gets a regular writer again; we judge a book against against its covers; nothing good ever comes from being sexy on Muir Isle; and the soul sword’s real power is cutting through continuity.
In which Professor is too cool for the Phalanx; fatphobia is significantly more dangerous than Fred Dukes; Strong Guy catches a plane; Emma Frost will not let you coast; Jubilee says goodbye to the X-Men; and it’s probably for the best that we have avoided corporate advertisers.
In which Chris Eddleman joins us for a close look at House of X and Powers of X; Doug Ramsey is highly relevant; resurrection is problematic in a universe with a documented afterlife; there is no reasonable in-continuity justification for the lack of trans Marvel characters; and your OT3 is canon.
In which we have been on All the Podcasts; Full Shred Thrash is easier to say that it sounds; the Phalanx uses dial-up; Cable is a very large man; Larry Hama writes excellent banter; Cyclops has been progressively desensitized to plane crashes; Cameron Hodge is never graceful in defeat; and Final Sanction is actually about family.
