Full Show: The Big Crotch

Good morning, Melbourne.

Way men, Jason Lauren, start your morning the right away.

Gonna be great, gonna be a good day. This is Jason Lauren.

You one hundred Well, good morning everybody. Welcome to your Wednesday, and sort of feels like a Monday.

Wednesday snuck up on us.

I know, Good morning Lauren, Good morning Cheat. What's wrong? What's wrong? What's happening?

Said morning Jays. How are we feeling fresh?

Clip? I feel good? Yes, at the top of the world. Yep, good boy, thank you.

You look fresh as a daisy.

Jace, how do you feel a lot better than you?

We both went to the Melbourne Cup yesterday. Wasn't it a fun day?

It was a great day and you know it.

I saw you in the evening yes and.

Again at about eight sun was still up some we was still at about eight o'clock and Clint said, lo, I'm going to head off.

What time was that?

Eight pm?

Eight pm? And I was setting off at eight pm.

He's heating off at eight pm and we're having some sushi yep. And I said, okay, bye Clint. And then half an hour later I was like, oh, Clint's gone home. I should go home.

So off I troddled climbed into bed about nine pm.

Oh that's living very responsible.

Because I thought you'd been in bed by eight thirty pm.

Well, he said, he said he was leaving at eight.

He didn't tell me where he was leaving to.

No, where'd you leave to?

I went to a little house gathering a party. It was more gathering, right, So you went home after that?

And then and then.

My friend was DJing at a local night spot, so I accompanied him to know and then know the pub and then well done. I did cut a few laps. I was telling everyone who was present. I said, I have to work in the morning.

I have a radio.

I was telling everyone that had listened yesterday to Yeah. I thought people would feel sorry for me, and you know what they did?

Yeah?

Yeah, that's strong.

With you at home on time?

So did you come straight here from the Osborne or.

I know, I've got a few hours shout. I'm well rested.

I'm so proud of your brother, you know what?

You know what? Clint's excited about doing a little road trip to Crown later this morning to catch up with this man. He is to perform or he's a roller coaster, so he will be tucked up in bed down a Crown. Clint's going to head down there late this morning.

Catch the Oaks, Daisy, I believe so well. Who performed yesterday at the Melbourne?

Did he perform yesterday? He did? Yes, he was there yesterday. I think he's doing it and tomorrow? Is he doing the Crown Oaks day lunch today?

But he's doing tomorrow too?

Yeah, well, Clint's doing all three days, so why can't run it?

Yeah?

Exactly?

Did he do one song yesterday? Once song tomorrow?

I love this one?

You catch s whereever I fall?

Oh my gosh. At dinner last night's.

Very soothing and comforting, isn't it is.

There's a jockey that came over to the table to say hello, and I said to someone who's that? And they said Melbourne Cup wingning jockey And I went into congratulations Melbourn Cup.

What winning? Did I say?

Winning?

Jesus Melbourne Cup winning jockey And I went into congratulations, congratulations one of the Melbourne Cup, like fifteen years ago.

You know who it was?

Maybe not fifteen years ago, but four years ago.

Corey Corey Brown Worthington Corey Brown, Right, gotcha, congratulations on winning the Melbourne Cup.

He was like, guys, big news days. I've been waiting four years for this. We're not going back.

We might be going back US election and it's happening right now.

Yep. They are counting the votes at the moment, too early to say clean.

Well, the polling station is still open, so they haven't even started counting, so we won't know until tonight. Yeah. Well we have an answer to well, you sort of get an indication because turnout's really high, so that base what principally the Democrats will be very encouraged by that.

Right, Okay, dumb that down for me? Is that Carla or Trump?

Carmela, thank you very much. The Democrats turnout as high generally speaking, it means that.

All right, all right, we'll look more on the US election later on this morning. We're going to a cross to Charles Krauts Crouch Croucher, Crouch, Crouch, the big Crouch over there.

Big Crouch.

I don't think he gets called that's the big Crutch Crouch.

Well, you know what, I'll in Troy and like that. We'll see what he says.

I don't know about it.

Crouch.

He's our political editor at Channel man. You can't be calling him the big Crouch.

Lauren headed to Flemington with Fisher yesterday from Melbourne Cup.

Fish's birthday yesterday and boy did with a funday.

He is on the air this in the next twenty But kick off the show should we should we start with something soothing?

It's something fun.

Bitter unh yes, just for Clint.

Nothing at all. We are alive. This is over one hundred. Had a few technical difficulties.

We have, but we are back.

Baby Mike's went working earlier, only Clint's, which surprisingly is the one mic we didn't want working this morning.

He's had some technical he.

Was talking common sense and Melbourne was here for it.

A few people dusty around Melbourne this morning after a huge Melbourne.

A big Melbourne Cup day.

It was one of the best Melbourne Cup days in terms of weather we've had in.

Each We did a little house party estate. People didn't leave till seven o'clock.

How fun Melbourne Cup days are. Great public holiday.

Turn the music off, turn the TV down, started shutting the blinds, lowered the heater.

You wouldn't want it too hot.

It was warm yet yeah, sitting around thirty.

It's actually really warm. This morning as well.

Yeah, I know, but we had a great Melbourne Cup day.

And I thirty three today.

Is it really muggy out there?

Yeah? This morning it's going to buck it down. Not great for Oak Day tomorrow, Yeah, but it is.

It's it's definitely warm. It's like nineteen degrees already this morning.

Yeah.

We went to Melbourne Cup Day yesterday. It was our mate Fisher's birthday.

The DJ so.

Bangers High.

He is like one of the biggest DJs in the world right now. He just won. Oh this is the cola of j LO.

He was very popular, very really goodness God like.

You guys took him for his birthday.

Was his birthday?

Was a pain to walk with him.

Well a little bit. People just love him. He's such a character and he's such a nice guy.

So Clinton, you were in the marquet with us. He did get swarmed a bit, didn't he the start show.

I mean between him and I it.

Was just chalk and cheese.

So yeah, we took him for his birthday today.

Hasn't been to the races since Makaybee Diva won twenty years ago. That was the last time he went to the He was here with his beautiful wife.

Kloh, they've got a brand new baby.

That's what they do to you, maybe four months old.

So they were having mum and day mum and dad's day out that he was there, No MANI of course.

Fish nearly forty.

Yeah, our vita, Yeah, I don't know.

It was a great yeah, give.

Me anyway, we had so much fun. Yesterday he caught up with us for a chat.

Fisher, Happy Melbourne Cup Day.

Oh, thank you.

I'm so excited to be here. It's awesome.

More importantly, happy birthday, thanks mate, the Big three nine.

When was the last time you're at the Melbourne Cup?

Twenty years ago?

And the Kybe Diva won it and Glenn Boss was riding that horse and it was a glorious time here.

Actually it was.

It wasn't as extravagant as what we're looking at right now. It was like a gypsy tent set up down here.

You were born on Melbourne Cup Day, so it's a special.

Day for you, Fish, Yeah it is.

Look.

I was born in nineteen eighty five, November fifth, on a Tuesday, and there was a horse in the Melbourne Cup.

Called what a Nuisance? And my mum put a bed on it and at one and here we are today, game on and what.

A nuisance you are?

I am.

I love it?

Hey, I wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

No?

Have you here with your beautiful wife Chloe.

How's life being parents?

Oh?

Mate, it's been so good. Our little angels four months and she's a treat. She's so fun. She just smiles all day. She's already got the personality. We love her so much and it's very special.

What's next for you? You're killing it, You're kicking goals everywhere. What's coming up for Fisher?

Well?

Look right now, we're at the Melbourne Cup, so I've finally got a day off, so I'm going to celebrate with you guys. But coming up and go back to America, tour over there for a bit, and then I've got New Year's Eve in Australia, which I'm really excited about. I haven't actually done New Year's Eve here since twenty eighteen, so I'm.

Frothing for that.

Your gig on the Gold Coast this year was one of the best days I've ever had. But I can't imagine how special that was for you.

Playing at home mate, that took me four years in the making to get that done, and for me, it was just all I wanted to do was bring the party to home. It's never been done like that, and just to see all my friends there, all my fans, everyone having a good time.

It was so special for me.

It was actually one of the biggest highlights of my career, and just because it was at home and it's never been done at that scale, so it was awesome.

This has been a great chat. But I've never heard you be so serious.

About Hey, sometimes Paul's got to be professional. Okay, you got to have the been a professional side of this.

And you want me to go you want me to go.

To Yeah, I'm glad we got one pull at a word in there world.

I'm bitch, no worries.

Thanks for having me, have you bet?

I don't know you could swear on this channel next time I'm coming in home.

He he He was on his best behavior.

In that interview.

He sounds like an absolute hoop.

He's a who. He was so much fun yesterday. Couldn't back a winner if it landed on his head.

He was born on the fifth of November, so he said, I'm bad acking number five's all day long and there was one race they didn't back because my Paul said, no, no, no, there's a sure thing in this race.

And the number five. They didn't get a winner all day those boys.

But happy birthday, Fish. You're on the air with Jason Lauren. Clint's here as well. No word on the US election. We probably won't know until tonight, Clint. You think come, I might haven't though.

Well, big voter turnout, which generally points to a potential Democratic win.

Yeah, right, which is a shame because it'd be great to hear this crime power.

From went to McDonald chair.

What they did was years ago we get we could get the sausage, egg and chill, you know, anytime of the day.

Well then they changed it.

You can only get.

It for breakfast, right.

You think Trump might change that? He can do it.

Hang on, he's going to change the mcdonald' Is that a voter saying that they're going to put sausage mcmuffins on the all day menu.

If Trump gets in.

Because he worked not a ship.

If that's what they think they're voting.

For, it's a different it's a different world that.

He can do it.

Yepone me six, change the pace let's end to the bedroom.

Well, a story has come out that I don't think will affect you, Jason, Probably you are the Clint to be fair, Probably me either. There has been a warning about having how do I put this nicely? Having long sessions can be dangerous to your manhood.

Isn't it good for the cardio?

What might be good for the heart not good for the for the we can overdo it, guys going to be don't let your sessions last more than an hour.

An hour, an hour, an hour, one an hour.

It also says going out at eleven hours straight is definitely too much this study.

We're going to be fine living longer than Clinton.

Basically, a study has come out that says, you know how people say, is there such thing as too much love making? Well, there is over an hour, and you're damaging your Goodsky's so for men and women.

I can't even look at you when I say this. Don't full play.

No, I think it's just the actual deed, the deed. Doing the deed should last more than an hour.

Intercourse.

What's happening after an hour?

To them?

Well, you can hurt.

It could fall off, part of it could fall off.

It could fall off. According to this reason, what.

Could fall off? Yeap? Is it because of the friction? The friction isn't the word friction?

No, you're willy. But it can be bad for women too, very bad.

Yours could fall off too.

Ours can't fall off, and yours won't fall off in ours, but you can dammage you.

Grab won't fall off. It might fall off.

Retreat, Just visualize, Hey, can I have my thing?

So don't be doing the deed more than an hour. Gentlemen, this is a PSA ask away for all of those that can do it for an hour?

What would you say is your average session time?

Three minutes?

Oh geez, that includes a two minute post chat.

Yeah, ah gee, I have never once in my life thought about this.

Well, you haven't timed it.

Never got the stop watch out? Can you believe it?

Have you?

You've got them on your I'm not a stopwatch, but you have a little glance at the clock.

Who's got a clock in their room?

Of course you've he's got that giant mirror that looks over.

Have you got have you got the big hotel alarm clock?

Who's got the clock in their room? These days? Do you have you ever timed it.

No, I'm just happy to happen.

Anytime is a good time.

I'm not going to be picky.

We're not fighting for the world records at our house. I reckon fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes is a good round number that includes everything.

Yeah, that's a good quarter, a good quarter of an hour.

How afterwards as well, that's a meal, a chat.

What do you How long's a good session?

I mean, here we go and a good sesshon twenty minutes.

You just wanted to go one up on me fifteen so you said about the eighteen minute mark, someone else arrives.

Hey, the hotel alarm clock ticks over.

Thirteen twenty four to ten. Oh yeah, how long you last in Melbourne?

How long should a session go?

Right now? And we're looking for honesty here, all right, don't just ring up trying and impress all the lads on the work site.

Yeah, well, I like this article says eleven hours straight is definitely too much.

Eleven hours.

I'm not able.

To wait for eleven hours in a row, but that's.

Not non stop eleven hours. But there was once I missed two flights because I stayed in bed with someone all day in a hotel.

Well, this is a GP who said.

But that would be like you have a sleep, wake up, going to the round? Have asleep? How many rounds? A few rounds? Miss two flight time?

Wow?

Wow, that's young love.

Yeah, it was many years ago. Now I'd be like, why are you waking me? Can we just sleep all day? Thirteen twenty four ten? How long are you lasting? You can remain completely anonymous and in return, I'll stick with the theme. You can get a hole in one again. We will send you to Holy Moly. I've got a two hundred and fifty allar ours yea, be ahead to Holy Moly and have some fun there. Thirteen twenty four ten is our number.

How long's a good session Melbourne?

Melbourne's being shy? Thirteen twenty four to ten? How long as a session lasted at your place? We wanted a brag, but you know what might have been just one round? You might have stayed in bed all weekend with someone, Oh gosh, all weekend christ Actually we'd We had a friend of ours stay at our place when we were living in Brisbane. He bought a girl home. They didn't leave the spare room all weekend. He brought a home Friday night, Na, she left us Sunday reads.

The limits You can do that in a hotel, the limits.

Of the room. I have to leave the bag outside the door. She cabled. Tidy there, what's going on?

Sort of pay by the owl motel?

Will you run out?

Look? A story has come out that says if your sessions last more than an hour, it can be dangerous. Thirty perhaps good for cardio, not good for your lady bits and your men.

Bits thirteen twenty four to ten. Join us on the air, could walk away with the two hundred and fifty dollars. Holy Molly a gift card a Holy Moly fun House now open on Little Burg Street, Sir, Holy Molly Fun House for more info, thirteen twenty four to ten.

How long is a session? In your books?

There is a report about people's sex lives that might frighten people, probably not you, two Clinton, Jason. If your sessions go for more than an hour, it could cause damage.

My question is who's doing it for more than an hour? No one in here do you reckon?

She'd be a dirty talker.

You are absolutely not allowed to ask that question of a colleague in the workplace.

Please, we're going to go by those rules. Speak half the stuff on this ship.

You'll never know. What do you think though?

Well? You do like talking every other time.

I think she'd surprise us.

Yeah, I think so.

You'll never know, Clint, you'll both die wondering.

Filthy, absolutely filthy.

Cannot confirm nor deny those accusations. Look at you two, sitting there with your arms crossed, staring at me.

All judge because you don't know.

We're not judging if you want to be you know, are you a dirty talking to you?

And still don't ask him? I don't want to know. That's the difference between me and Jason. I actually have zero interest in knowing what he does in his house.

I don't mind a chat.

Oh you're repulsive. Does your wife ever say.

She was noise canceling?

I don't want to see you on the nest, on the on the nest.

I've never heard that expression on the heard of that either, I heard of the work bench.

But lo about the ladies that you ryme?

Hello, good morning, Jase, loves And.

What do you reckon?

How long are the sessions in your house? Because an hour is too long?

I think five to ten minutes is a real good session. As long as all parties I was going to say both parties, but all parties are kicking goals?

Oh, all parties a party of five at.

Your Remember it's always an open invitation.

Do you throw your keys in the bowl sometimes? Ryan?

No?

No, no, okay.

When you say firing on all cylinders, as long as everyone's just kicking, going, enjoying its participating equally.

Do you reckon what it would have ever been in a party situation?

I'm not a swinger.

No, what get from menaced today?

I even he's uncomfortable made himself.

You're in a mood?

No, no, no, not that?

Is that an offer?

Give him a few minutes please?

Finteen twenty four. He'd like to take jas up on his mood.

Hey, this could be absolutely, absolutely frightening. But should we ask the thumb?

How long does this session last in your house?

Yeah?

He's executive producer. You don't have to answer this.

He proudly will good morning team. What would you say is a no decent station session?

The most recent would have been in and around the forty minute mark.

I reckon what stamina forty minutes? What do you watch a movie? First?

There's a lot to get done, guys.

When we'll go remember, we'll do it okay.

Well, like the research, says Brody, that is fine as long as it's not over an hour.

I can't make any guarantees.

Good on you, bro When we're going into hide and Seek, remember you know we went at the start of the year. I rang Brody that day and he's like, I can't talk now. I'm about to be locked away from my partner for four days. We need to the nest. He was on the nest. He wasn't leaving the next until.

What an expression. I don't think I'm going to put that in mind.

I've never been on the nest. In my vocab, the worst bench I've heard, Yes, on the nest, the adult theme park.

The adult the park. Oh my god.

Should we put this segment a bit?

I think?

So. You are on the air with Jason Lauren clint here as well. You're listening to number one hundred. I've been waiting four years for this. It's all going down in the US and political editor from Channel nine, Charles Croucher joining us on the egday Crouch Morning, Lauren Claire, Great.

My gosh, is it excitement or nerves or what's the feeling over in the States, Charles.

I reckon a whole lot of nerves, a lot of young people voting for the first time. They're excited. The rest of the country, the rest of the world really is probably nervous at the moment, sitting and waiting to see what the results are, if those results are accepted,

Wow, Crouch, it sounds like women have turned down out in droves. What does that point to?

Yeah, that points to Carmela Harris. I mean, the big thing that has changed in the last four years, apart from Carmela Harris replacing Joe Biden, is there was a decision by the Supreme Court here that overturned the Roe versus Way decision that effectively gave women the right to choose when it comes to abortions. That's been overturned and in some states it's been overturned dramatically, and there are no rights to things, even with medical procedures and others circumstances.

It is private and people you can say one thing and do the other. But Charles, this has got to be the most celebrity indoorsed election of all time.

Right, it's been right up there, you know, And and I'm going to say, on both sides, Donald Trump has the one musk and hulk Hogan a puting.

In has been able to rip his shirt off yet because it looks like.

Drawing, which we checked back in there. He had a rest got there eventually. Gala Harris closed with a big conty esterday with headlined by over. Ricky Martin was there as well. All of a sudden, the Puerto Rican and Latino vote has become a bigger thing as well of the last year or so bad Bunny. You know, it's been a huge amount of celebrities out there, and we always one day if the celebrity vote actually means anything.

If Kamala Harris wins this selection, will Donald Trump accept that?

Well?

I mean, I wouldn't imagine so. But it is much harder to throw your toys out of the cop when you're not in the you're not in the last time he had the authority of the Oval office. The other thing, you know, last time he support has storm the capitol. I'm looking at the capitol now. They ended out about a thousand charges and that some of them spent time and some of them are still in jail. I think again before taking to the barricades if there is consequences

So just on the lead of us, just on the whole storm in the Capitol is can you notice an increase in security and police presence over there at the moment?

Yeah, yeah, you can. I'm looking at it now. There is a small fence in front of the Capitol, and there's one of their called climb proof fence a little bit closer. And then there's some construction work going on. So there are provisions in place. The District Attorney of Philadelphia, you know, the biggest city in Pennsylvania, which is going

Run Yeah, what's he got telling you, Charles, because it sounds like Indie's a breaking to Harris.

Yeah, that's what it feels like. I mean, Donald Trump should be favorite. Right between the immigration mess over here and inflation which has really hurt those people living paycheck to paycheck, the Republican should be favored. It's a bad time to be an incumbent anywhere in the world. But his refusal to set the last election and.

That Roe v.

Way decision, the Supreme Court decision, I think just pit this one back in favor of Carmla Harris book. It is awfully close. But if it becomes a battle of the sexes, young blokes turning out for Trump versus young women turning out for Kamela, I think I'll fight young women a bit more reliable than young blokes. The third option, you know, it is Paris the Trump VI the couch. The couch might win that.

One, rong.

Hey, I'm Charles, this election, whichever way it goes, will it affect us here in Australia at all.

Yeah, well, you know, we follow America into every one of their battles, everyone in their wars. And beyond that, you know, Donald Trump is talking huge tariffs and that without getting real deep into economics, means that the cost of things will change and will rise into the nation that has to import things and has to export things and deal with the world. We're a bit more sort

Yeah, hey, Charles, just to let you go off the top of your head, your favorite Bad Bunny songs.

Yeah, you're right into Bad Bunny. I like his original stuff.

Is Christmas Charlie.

Oh yeah, he is a not just an Australian political guru, he's an American political.

You know what I like though, you've dumb it down for us, Charles, Yes, thank you political correspondent on. I've actually understood every word, so start.

Thanks Charles.

We know it's a big week for you, so thanks for joining us this morning.

Enjoy the coverage of the Enjoy the rest of the cup week.

Charles Crouch, are there, chief political editor at nine? Now that's a journalist there, Clint.

He's great.

Get him in to read the news.

He's busy. Pull your up, that's your job.

I had wearing any Ricky? Oh yes, how they get me voting? Hey, coming up? Your chance to win free money this morning, neighbors. Shake the tree. You are listening out for this. When you hear that, you give us a ring. We will shake the Christmas tree. Whatever cash falls out, you will win. It is that easy. Shake the tree is coming up very soon. But next we went to the races and as a result we have an apology to make, so we head along to the races. Thank you very much for the VRC for having us.

I know it's been a fun old few days, hasn't it. I had an absolute disaster walking out the door yesterday.

Well, I had a disaster at the track. I got some last minute extra ticket and my brother in law and my sister were down from Brisbane, and I thought they would never get to go to the bird Cage. I would love to take them for a nice day at the races. Sure, so took them along to Flemington. They they don't mind a free drink. They hit it pretty hard. Yeah, okay, yeah, that's wrong. You're here headphones, planner. If you take them out, I'm a meter in front of you. Can you hear me?

Yes?

Took them along a couple of free drinks. Quinn, you saw them? I did? How did you describe them?

Queenslanders?

And that's exactly what I said to everyone all day. All day, I walked around going, they're from Brisbane. I'm so sorry.

You're from Brisbane too.

No, no, but I've been here for like nine years.

What are they called gentrified? Yes, yes, you've been You've become a Melbourne now. Look they were, they were partying.

I gave away that they were from Brisbane.

The way that my brother in law kept screaming to people drink up, it's free. Oh god, yea. So I hadn't it am contained in the Moon Marquee And that's where they met Clint.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Had you met them before, Clint? It was the first time meeting.

My sister really threw herself at Clint.

Did she literally gorgeous? Isn't she? Leticia gorgeous?

And then Clint said, why don't you take them to the Channel Line markets?

Who was in there?

Well, as we walked in, my sister was like someone on one of those buses in La that goes start.

To Hollywood to a bus order start home.

She walked into. My sister goes, holy shits, watch.

Of course I gave it. Roger is handsome, that doctor, doctor.

H not to my brother in laws. My brother in law screamed out, I loved you in Mcloud's Daughters?

Was he in the Clouds Daughters?

And he said I've done other stuff since then? And my brother in law said, I haven't seen it. Love to McLeod's daughters.

Yeah, well, he's an OG fan from way back.

The other problem was we were all standing together, yes, and someone said do you want a photo? And when a person said do you want a photo. Standing next to my sister was the lady that used to be on Sunrise. She's now hosting The.

Golden Bachelor, Samantha Armity.

That's the one. Samantha Armitage turns around goes, oh, do you want me in the photo? And my sister looked at a point blank.

And goes no, no, thanks Channeley photo bloody awkward? Did she say do you want me in the photo?

And my sister goes no?

Or put her on the end so you can crop her out at least should have been polite.

At that point, my brother in law wandered over to her. And when I watched this go on, I ran downstairs to Lovely Terry, who runs publicity at Channel nine, and I said, Terry, firstly, thank you so much for having us in your lovely marquee. Secondly, I just want to get ahead of this situation. I think my brother in law is currently upstairs eving Samantha Ramada career advice.

Oh dear yeap.

When I went back up there to stop that situation.

She doesn't need career advice. She's on the old People's Bachelor.

The Lovely Alicia Loxley was there from Channel on News all the stars, didn't you. My sister started to critique her outfit.

Her out what was she wearing?

She looked amazing, look amazing. My sister gave her feedback on the head piece.

Did she like it? Was it positive feedback?

I don't know. I was just trying to move the conversation along. And then they bumped into Tom Steinfort from the News and formerly sixty minutes, which my sister loudly said, it's the hot guy from sixty minutes.

Yeah, great, he would have loved that Stein.

Whilst she was standing right next to him and she said it.

He would have a bounce in his step all day.

They were in full swing thanks to one Clint stand Away.

They remind me of Experience. What's that funny family on the travel GUIDs?

That's what That's exactly where a.

Friend family would just say whatever they're thinking.

I think the low point was there was in the moon Mark. It was like a sushi train going along, but it was and my brother in law just sat there at the end of the train, grabbing the glasses.

Lying down on the ground, just catching him in his mouth.

Lawrence, tell me, what's you know?

We like to get in members of the Victorian Police and probe the different areas. But the mounted Police.

Yes, they came on the horses.

Called the Mountain Police.

Yeah, I thought they were the Mountain Police on their horse.

We've had the drug squad, got the sales department was nervous at day.

Jason, you can't be saying that we've had them all. We thought we'd have them, had them all. But I'm excited about today's police officer, Jason.

Which Clint has history with. Would you like to be the introduction.

Former v A Supercars driver extraordinary now PSO cam the conval joins us.

Good mood, morning, thanks for having me and Jesus, great to see you again. It's been a while and the last time I saw you here we go, I think I gave you whiplash and maybe a little bit of subtle bruising.

Was it in a police car bringing him down? Was he in the back of a Divvy.

Van, revolver revolver? No, no, no, I was in the back of an ambulance.

It's way worse than that. What happened, Clint? Should I tell the story or no?

So?

Look, I was very fortunate for about eight years to drive the F one two seater around it in my former life in the motorsport.

But I've always wanted to do that.

The great Clint stand Away, I'm a big fan of I. My add I said, oh, Clint's going to come for a right. So I think over eight years I'd taken over three hundred people in this car, never locked the brake, never dropped a wheel off the track. I think it was a Friday morning. Clint first up, yep, great to meet you, Clint. We go flying around the back. I break into I think Turn ten the car who turns hard left, So we bounce off the left wall, we go across the track into the right wall, and then

He was a proper I can feel those bumps.

Now.

Look how fast we going when that happens.

I think it's a V ten Codsworth MINARTI two seedars, so we're probably doing about two hundred and forty down there when I hit the brake pedal and of course, you know any good race driver blames the equipment guy, so that's what I'll stick to y. But it was not driver era.

That Selm was so calm. He I still recall because it's two seed obviously, and he got out first and I could hear him. You're saying, Clint to stay there. I'm going to get you out. Just keep calm. Were scared and shooting message.

I was, oh, you both were.

And is that when you got kicked out of formula and to be creditor?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah joined the Big Poles a pso not long after that. Note, look it was anyway, I'm glad he was okay, but credit to Clint. They there was two cars and they said, well, really we only got three quarters of a lap, and no, he's true, but jumped in we were back again.

Yeah, there's just no way.

Do you know, dur was that just for the footage?

I subbed in a new driver correct?

Do you know this might make you feel better that he drove in the Celebrity Grand Prix race and he crashed into the back of Rachel Finch's car and made her roll the car.

She was on the roof.

I wasn't going to bring that up, but clearly I taught him both things.

I know, you know, remember her daughter was sitting there going why is mummy's car flipping over?

I know, you know what.

I think she put a bit of mail on it. To be honest, well we.

Did watch her have to get rescued from the car while it was upside down.

The break way too early and lovely to see you.

How can you be trusted driving a police car now?

Yeah, well no it was.

So I'm currently a Protective Services officer, so we drive to the stations, but and I drive well under the speed limit, I might add.

So, so let's dive into the PSO worlds.

Right. Are you classed as members of the Victorian Police.

Yeah, we are.

We're sworn members, so twelve weeks training at the academy, so very similar training to police officers as far as defensive tactics law. But most of our law and our training evolves around the transport hub, so our designated areas. So we're out at the stations, buses, trains, trams yep. So that's our designated area, vicinity of designated air. So

Now it needs to.

Keep passengers safe and keep the railway and the buses and everything safe from Christ.

Yeah, exactly, Lauren, And look, I think it's a real community engagement part of vic Pole and what we do. You know, of course we're there to uphold the law and make sure community safe, but you know, we can be helping people walk to their cars, people might have lost property.

We're really I guess that.

Front line where people might report incidents on that PTV network.

So you're not checking people have tapped on and tapped off.

Well the market.

It's funny should say that we can get inspectors, but look that's what the authorized officers for Metro are therefore, so we tend not to do that. We do have the power to check my key's and sometimes you might see someone jump over a barrier and you stop them and then they might have warrants or something like that. So it does, you know, trigger other things. But yeah, effectively we are there just to make sure everyone's safe.

What it makes me feel safe when I see you guys.

Yeah, that's good to know.

But also what about what powers do you have because I'm sure there'd be some people.

Look, he's got a gun.

Do you have a gun?

I do, yes, Yeah, Well we have the same operational no tasers, but they're coming. They are coming, which is fantastic. So next year, Yeah, we have the spray.

Can you use Quint now?

No?

No, no, Clinton, I've always been a big fan of Clint and more so that.

So powers when it comes to Peris, because I'm sure there'd be people at the train stations going, oh bloody more cops. They can't stop me. Yes, you have the power to Yeah, we do.

We have the power to search, you know, under different acts, drugs, poisons, you know, controller weapons act so effectively like police. We need to have suspicion on reasonable grounds. We can't just stop some under search them. I he look dodging, not at all, No, no, it.

Looks upstanding citizen Jazz.

Absolutely, as you all do, of course, search not at all. No, we don't profile people and anything like that. We need to have genuine belief or suspicion that you might be carrying a weapon.

But we're in the clear, guys in the city.

We do have we do have operations where the Chief Commissioner might make it a designated area which is called an omni evening or an omni search, so where we can search people under the Control of Weapons Act. But effectively we have about eighty to ninety percent of police powers not road trafficking in that designated area.

YEA, I'll tell you what. We're going to go to a quick break. Can you stay with us, camp, We are doing the POPE this morning. We're talking about PSOs. In fact, Cam's actually made the news before while doing his job. We're going to dive into that on the other side of this if you have a question. Thirteen twenty four to ten our guests has actually popped up on the news before.

A footy fan who almost died from cardiac arrest has been reunited with the hero PSOs who helped save his life. They performed CPR, one of them drawing on his pressure packed experience as a V eight Supercars driver.

Cameron mc convoy is journing. It's this morning, Bill, Sorry, what happened there? What was the situation? Yeah? Look, and that was.

An incident there that happened right at North Richmond Railway station. We were posted there myself and my offside of Ryan responded to a call. There was a male passed out on the platform. We're on the other side. We went across. Initially we thought that it was maybe an epileptic fit or something. He was shaking quite violently, but he was off to the footy with his mates. They said he

We're not just there to enforce the law.

We're there to help people, and you do see people and die straits and at their time and need you know what.

I find frightening now, and you guys see it on the front line. Knife crimes, you know, like they've got guns and weapons are out of control. In the US. We've got a real offenders especially, we've got a really bad problem with young people carrying knives at the moment. Are you concerned going to work putting on the uniform? Are you seeing it?

I think I'm wary.

You always have to have your awareness, you know, we get trained to have situational awareness, read people, you know, pre attack indicators all the training we do in the academy and we have briefings every day before we go out, and it might be that there's a person seen such and such, or keep a look at for this person around this station carrying weapons. So you know, I wouldn't say concerned, because you know, we need to be focused. But look, it is an issue out there, you know,

The more we talk about it, the more we can.

They can go to b W on buy not.

You know, the train stations especially safe places to be.

Yes, absolutely, yeah they are.

They are.

Look like anywhere in society, you know, weapons, drugs are an issue and it's not going to you know, it's not going to be excluded from train stations from anywhere.

But yes, they are.

I would say, you know, confidently train stations are safe places to be there. Police PSOs are patrolling all day obviously. Most of our ships are four pm till two am to the last train that most of them. Yeah, but in the city where I'm posted, we are there during the day.

Obviously.

Once I finished here, we're out there patrolling. So you know, it's getting better.

You know a lot of people in Melbourne peace of mind.

Absolutely. Have you thought about some sort of segue or something. I was just thinking, as you say, patrolling a lot. Also, Yeah, those little hobby boards or something like that.

I'd fall off because I'm not very coordinated. As Clint knows. Keep it more because we do do a lot of steps.

You know, most most shifts we're doing upwards of twenty thousand steps and that's good because we need to be proactive and be out there, and you're always trying to maintain that visible presence.

I don't think it's for us, Clint, for anybody wanting to get into the police force. Can you become a PSO and then move across an upgrade?

Yeah, absolutely, guys.

Yeah, So we have what's called a CQP Comfortable Qualification Program. After eighteen months as a PSO, you can apply to switch across into mainstream policing. You will go back into the academy because our course is twelve weeks and police is thirty one thirty two weeks, but you will obviously get some prior learning because we've got a lot of the qualifications already. And this role is a great opportunity to give back to the community, and that's why I

What's a paylot pays pays good? Yeah, pays good.

I mean we do ten hour shifts, very similar to police in that regard, so our base pay is probably a little bit high because our shifts are longer, but nine weeks and you'll leave. Same as police and looking at work life balance is something that big Polar big on and I've got to say that in this role you do get a lot of that. Three or four days on and then three or four rest days.

There you go. And we were thinking our only backup would be doing mc work outside Michael who jeweler and only what is it?

How long in the academy?

Twelve weeks?

They're going to give me a gun after twelve weeks?

Well not straight away?

Goodbye?

Yeah, I approve a good character, which I don't know you are.

Hey, Cam, thanks for coming in this morning, mate. We really appreciate it. We have the work that Victoria Police doing their PSOs out there keeping this man. He did drove you into a wall? He did. Oh, let's go to lang Warren Clint. We've got ten year old Matthew. You get a Maddie.

Hi.

How we going mate? You after school today? Yeah? Did you have school on Monday, buddy? Or was it one of those pupil three days.

We cur on Monday?

Curriculum? What grade are you in?

I'm in here?

Four?

Cool? Sound you sound pretty sharp there, Maddie. Do you how are you going at school?

Him going pretty good?

So, Maddie, this works.

We've got three sort of questions, right, We've got an easy question for fifty bucks, a medium question for five hundred, or a toughie for five thousand dollars.

What question do you want?

I'll go the medium one for five hundred. Done, five hundred dollars.

Alright, e. Five hundred bucks is like life changing. Oh, thanks to KFC. You can head into KFC and get more bang for your bucket with KFC's packed lunch. But just nine to ninety nine not available on delivery. That's not the question, that's a statement, matt all right, Mattie. How this works is you're going to hear a question. You will have three seconds to answer if you don't know, yes, okay, do you pay attention at school? We're about to find out,

What is the largest planet in our solar system?

Your bloody five hundred dollars, Maddie, you're there, Matthew. He's cheeks hit the mute button. I bet matt is your cheak hit the mute button?

Yeah?

How excited?

Thank you?

That's so much mate, No wors. What do you want to spend the money on?

Oh, I don't know, maybe some soccer shirts or something.

Oh god, who's your favorite soccophone word? He was going to say, vabe killing the baby nd Yeah, Ronaldo, that'll get you some good merch, good merch.

What a winner.

Hi, Matt, you are going to have a cracking day at school today. Buddy, congratulations, Thank you so much. Joys what a good many kids? Why couldn't we be more like that? Five hundred bucks thanks to game say we will do it again tomorrow. Let's say hello to our next guess.

Introducing our next guess.

He's an actor, television presenter, radio host.

And the singer responsible for these silky.

He just.

Say best.

And you said nothing that Welcome in the show.

Hell.

And Keating, Good morning. I'm here at Crown with you this morning. Clint was supposed to be here, but he partied too hard and it's got me instead.

It happened to the best of us, Ronan, I know that was Where did you go last night?

Do we need to go? Going to dad mode and lecture?

Him.

So I started, what were you thinking?

I started in one of the marquees and let's just say it just went a little bit amiss from there.

Look, I know it was.

It was a good idea at the time. But this morning, yeah, we did the same. We Look, we had an amazing day yesterday. Obviously, Robbie Dolan winning was phenomenal. Luck of the common, What a moment for him.

What a jockey.

Robbie Dolan won the Melbourne Cup on Night's Choice. You are an irishman. All he wanted to do after the race was meet you.

I was honored. It was incredible for him to say that on TV. I was blown away and I was up in the committee room when he said it.

So I ran downstairs.

You well, he paid about one hundred to one. Please me. You put a bed on him. You're back the Irishman, didn't you?

We were on him, you were yeah.

Oh no, wonder you're hungover this morning?

Yeah, we went wild last night.

Trump.

We couldn't spend the money.

Hey, it's a terrible problem.

Robbie Dolan was once on the Voice as a competitive Are we going to say a song between you two?

Now?

Yeah, I'm here performing today at the lunch the ladies lunch here at the Crown. And I said it to Robbi last night, why don't you come and sing with me? No way, he's going to come and sing here today.

Really we don't know yet.

I well prepared.

This. This is my favorite banger. You got to do one of yours with him? Yeah? Yeah, okay.

He's an amazing singer, proper voice.

If you watch back.

He reached out to me on social media back when he was doing the Voice, sent me some of his performances.

Oh.

Then I was blown away with his voice.

Okay, so you'll let him sing one of your things. You're not going to get him up on the stage and go, don't butcher one of my songs?

Let's do Oh no, I think we're not gonna have time to rehearse anything else, so I think we'll have to do one of mine.

Hey, what is it about Irishman and Melbourne Cup Day?

I know the course performed last year, you performed yesterday, You're back again tomorrow for Oaks Day.

Why do the Irish love Melbourne so much? And why do we love you?

I'm living here at the moment, well in Sydney. My wife's Australian. We wanted a very much. The kids are seven and four. We wanted them to have a kind of an Australian upbringing.

You know, it's incredibly grounding.

They get home from school and they go surfing or you know, it's just an amazing country.

And he does nippers on a Sunday morning. My boy.

Yeah, that's a long way from island.

I mean it is a long way. It's the most brilliant thing ever I've ever witnessed. So yeah, not very proud to be here and living here, and we're going to be here till January. I love Australia.

I love the way al And so you're performing tomorrow with our very own Ricky Lay. She's performing before you in the park. What can we expect for the punters tomorrow?

Well, Ricky performed with me yesterday.

We did a little kind of a medley of two of my songs and she joined me on love and each day. She's an amazing voice. I'm a big fan of Ricky's, have been for years. And yeah, I'm going to be doing you know, the difficult third album tomorrow, all the songs that you don't want to hear basically.

All the bangers.

That's not true. Everything everything everybody wants to hear. I hope if you come along.

What's the song that punters are always?

Just get to that?

Get to that one. Yeah, he hasn't done it. I can't believe us. I can't believe he hasn't done it.

There's an Australian band called the Choir Boys and they got to Paradise. Yeah, run to Paradise, the old school banger and I loves that song. Yeah, you'll love this right And when they do pub gigs, they open with it. They played in the middle and they wrap up on today. I love it. What's that? Hey, Royan?

What's the demographic that really get around you?

Is it?

Women in there?

Let's say forties, fifties.

You're going to get out the hitting zone, ladies lunch.

Today because that's going to be wild today.

Thirty years doing this now, so all those girls guys that were sixteen, seventeen, eighteen are now old.

Oh there's somebody sound checking. It's just kicking off here.

Yeah.

So yeah, they've grown up now and they've grown up with me. So yeah, we're all of a similar age. I'm forty seven years old now I've been doing.

You don't look it, and you look very fresh for a man who had a very late night celebrating the irin.

Well, it's not a late night, it's it's kind of the late night. It's just gone into an early morning, right, Sadly, haven't been to bed yet.

You haven't even returned to the scene of the crime. You're just living here.

We're here in the Crown. The casino is about two hundred meters from here.

Quickly between you and clean Clint stand away. What time did you get home?

Let's call it one?

Right, that's a lie.

Let's call it one. Yeah, that is a lie.

Yep, that's what about you? Do you know when you go onto your WhatsApp and you see what time? No, I can't believe it. I always say it to my wife. I went to bed about eleven. What time do you text me at half two?

Yeah?

The celltale must have been down the time on the Uber receipt.

Yeah, it's also the secure already cameras at home when my husband or my field.

I'm like, no, you didn't last saw that.

Yeah, And you watch the footage of three minutes him trying to get the key in the hole year and you can fall into the door. Hey, Rod and Mate, we are going to be out there for Oak Day tomorrow, so we'll be in the park watching you live, screaming out do the bangers.

Yeah, we're being the wholehel. I won't do any of the difficult songs. I won't do any of the difficult throat album.

Great, can you only have two of them? Can you run the Paradise for us? I'll do it at the beginning, I'll do it in the middle, and I'll do it for good Man run a kick doing running guys tomorrow. Good on your mate. Congratulations on the nice win as well.

It's your shout for coffee's roading after that win.

Luck of the Irish.

Jason Lawrence.

Okay, it's Christmas Christmas Tree rolling into the studio. How much reckon that Christmas Tree set them back?

Ah, that'd be a that's a kay, Marty, that'd be one hundred bucks five hundred?

What five hundred? Sorry discount four hundred? Oh well that makes it so much better. It's got the lights already in the branch. Oh is that what makes it spinny? Yeah? Can we plug that in? Please? We need some las. You might take that one to them with it. Yeah, I'll happily train as well. Hey, Melbourne's Christmas Wonderland arise at Caulfield Racecourse from November twenty nine. But I strongly suggest your book now a ticketmaster. This thing sells out.

How are you?

We are good? You are way too smart for this show. You work as a medical scientist. Ah, yeah, flashy title. What do you do?

I work in maticondual research at the Met Children's Research.

Maybe it's kind of a google she No, she does really important work.

Yeah, she does for future like safeguarding out futures.

What I like? What a generic statement by the journalists in the corner. Are you feeling festive? Teagan. Yeah, I am now okay, all right, Clint, start shaking, shaking, give it a good shake, keep shaking. Nothing's oh she just break the tree.

I think I think I busted the true.

Good at shaking and good news though, Tiagan, A bable has just dropped. The amount is twelve hundred dollars.

Really wow, thanks you so much.

One thousand, two hundred dollars come in your way.

Thank you.

I'm so exciting. There you go, that pepped up for a Wednesday. Yeah, let's expecting that the pot much money? Can we borrow a four hundred tree? We bort four hundred to buy a tree? You want to? No, no, no, that's all yours. Twelve hundred dollars. Congratulations thanks to Melbourne's Christmas Wonderland. It arise at Corfield Racecourse November twenty nine. You can book now a ticket Master. Hey, that is it. We are about to get out of here. I'm just

Yeah, the girls.

As we took off, your wife was not coping on the helicopter.

No, no, she's not a big fan.

You should have probably told me that before I organized that mode of transport for us to go.

I thought she was. I thought we're going to have to bring out the vomit bag.

Yeah she didn't. It didn't look great. But as we took off heading back, so you can imagine, for it's.

Way more fun coming back. It's like a roller coaster.

I'm at the front. I look at the pilot. I gave him a little wink, and I went over the headset. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome board out night for an hour return to the city. We will be in the cabin shortly serving the beef or the chicken.

Oh my gosh.

And then I just hear through the two way one of Laurren's friends go, my Hawkins, they're seven beef and chicken.

It's a seven minute.

And the pilot looked at me like, wow.

I'm joking.

Chicken.

No, no, no service on board the chicken.

I can't wait.

Oh my gosh, thank you for this.

Well, they definitely weren't serving chicken or beef on my mini van on the way back to Footing, which took me three hours.

But anyway, oh my god, three hours in the fun Did you do the bottle shop drive throw on Mount Alexander Road that everybody does?

That it must do four days of the best business it does. Get a couple of Bruskies for the drive home.

We'll give it a run tomorrow.

I'm just back in the studio because I popped off to Crown before to see Crown to see Ron and Keating who's performing today with the Melbourne Cup winning jockey, And it was very good scene. As I went to get in the uber to come back to the studio with all there were still people rolling in from last night and there were people trying to check out their luggage. On the way to the airport, there were fascinators hanging out of suitcases.

There were people everywhere.

Good luck to all of those traveling home to their children, pets, any responsibilities you have today, because.

Kids, they totally understand.

Rolls into my slippers that I stole from Crown just then because my feet are so chopped up the shoes I wore yesterday going to shoe prison.

We're going to get those hoops back in some heels for tomorrow.

These are actual hoops. They are so small and they're like actual hooves.

Ye, we'll get some, give me.

Some horse shoes on the bottom, and I'll just wear bare feet from him, so.

Proall we like shoes.

What about no, No, no bookie? Because I saw him in a Fedora prison around tracks one.

Yeah, he had a questionable he got from going to be fashionable.

Did he wear a Fedora? No he didn't.

He looked like a bookie.

He didn't wear a Fedora.

He was calling Ronan Kating Rowan.

Oh how did Rowan Kating respond to a great like Rodan Kating?

We will say tomorrow bye, thank you.

Lauren's feeling good.

No.

One hundred Lauren follow them on socials.

M