Single Mom Success Stories: Grit

Today we're going to do a little pivot and plant , as my scheduled guests could not make it today . Today we're going to do a little pivot and plant , as my scheduled guests could not make it today , but that's okay , right , we're single peeps and well , that's something we do all the time Pivot , pivot and pivot .

So today , in keeping in line with our single mom success , I thought I would run with this thought today . What is one character trait that every successful single mom I know has ? Grit . They have learned how to get a grit . What is grit ? So , when we're talking about grit , what is that , or what does that really mean ?

Grit , in psychological terms , refers to the combination of perseverance and passion for long-term goals . It's about having the stamina and determination to persist in the face of challenges and setbacks , while maintaining a deep-seated commitment to achieving your objectives .

Angela Duckworth , a psychologist who pioneered research on grit , describes it as a trait that involves sustained effort and resilience over time , I think , kind of like weightlifting , even when confronted with adversity or failure . Do we know something ? Something about that ?

So , in essence , grit is more than just resilience or perseverance alone , as it encompasses a strong inner drive of resilience to setbacks and a steadfast pursuit of goals despite obstacles . It's about staying committed to a future goal and working diligently towards it , even when progress may be slow or difficult .

And hear me out as a single mom , progress may be just that , slow or difficult . And that , my ladies , you have to keep in the forefront of your mind so you don't sell your dream , your drive , your goals , your standards down a river , thinking your life is but a dream , count on it , expect it . It is progress over perfection .

The successful moms that I know what they did is they trained for their single season like it was a marathon , not a race to the finish line . Do you know and I just want to share this with you do you know that just yesterday I finished that children's book that I talked to you about in an earlier podcast ?

Now that story , if you remember , first came to me over 18 years ago , at the beginning of my solo journey . Today I can say it with excitement , kind of like Jesus Well , not like Jesus , but I'll use his words . It is finished Now . Listen , just because it took me 18 years to write and illustrate it doesn't mean I was lazy . No , not at all .

It took mad grit to record that story and those to come , allowing God to develop and define me in that solo journey , developing a stronger inner drive , using and pay attention here , using my solo journey as the teacher and life experience . I learned how to get a grit . Do you want to know what I know about you ? You want to get a grit too .

If you've been hanging with me for a while , like a loose hair in a biscuit all this time , let me tell you , in fact you already have it to some degree . Oh yeah , and here's the nitty gritty . The nitty gritty you are stronger than you think .

It takes grit to do everything you already do your everyday actions , choices and attitudes you exhibit as you navigate the complexity and the crazy of raising your kiddos solo mio . It takes strength and unwavering commitment to create a better future both for yourself and your family . And here are some specific ways I see your grit .

Number one , in your persistence in your responsibilities . You juggle multiple roles and responsibilities , such as caregiving , managing finances , maintaining a household . Grit you see manifests as your ability to persistently fulfill these duties listen to me day in and day out , despite fatigue or overwhelm .

Number two here's something that you also do you have a commitment to long-term goals . Even if you don't realize it , gritty single moms , they have clear long-term goals for themselves and their children , such as pursuing higher education , advancing in your careers or providing a stable environment . Did you ever realize that you know what you also do ?

You remain committed to those goals , over time , making sacrifices and tough decisions to achieve them , even if these goals aren't jotted down on a piece of paper , nor on your refrigerator . Number three you're resilient in the face of adversity .

You , my single peeps , unlike dual parent families , frequently encounter challenges such as financial strain , societal stigma or emotional stress . Grit enables you to bounce back from setbacks , learn from failures and adopt to changing circumstances without losing sight of your objectives , even if it seems like all you do is yell at your kiddos all the time .

Here's something else you do . Number four you keep a positive mindset and optimism . Optimism was what I meant to say . Nitty gritty single moms . They tend to maintain a positive outlook , despite difficulties . They view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning rather than insurmountable obstacles , fostering resilience and perseverance in their journey .

Even if you aren't so positive , you are always positive . And number five you seek and utilize support . Grit is also evident in your ability to seek and utilize support and networks , whether through a church , family friends , community resources or support groups .

Whether through a church , family friends , community resources or support groups , you understand the importance of asking for help when needed , while maintaining independence and self-resilience . The key is , you ask for help even when you don't want to .

Number six , and this is the last thing that I've noticed Well , there's many , but I'm going to end with this one is that you role model for your children , and you do this by demonstrating grit in your own lives . Single moms teach their children valuable lessons about perseverance , determination and resilience .

You , my mamas , you serve as a powerful role model , showing that hard work and dedication can lead to achieving goals despite challenges and a little change in your wallet , and I want to share this with you . Do you know ?

Just the other day , I had this gent , mind you , a gentleman tell me he had a better childhood experience with his single mom , while on the contrary to some of his friends that grew up with both their parents . You see , I told you success is possible as a single mom .

So what I want to do today is teach you how to continue to develop that grit using 10 practical strategies . So let's get gritty . Developing grit is a gradual process , mind you . That involves cultivating perseverance , resilience and passion over time . Did you hear that Over time , as a single mom ?

Well , you put in a lot of overtime , but over time you may not have , let's say , lots of time in your daily schedule , but you do have some time and it will add up over time if you use it wisely . So slow your roll , sisters .

So now let's get on to discussing some of those practical strategies to help you and maybe even teach your kiddos how to develop grit along the way . Number one you're going to set clear goals , or I also want you to think of them as standards that you're going to set for yourself .

Now , in order to do that , first you have to define where you are and then start from there . Start to define specific , challenging and achievable goals and or standards that align listen to me with your long-term aspirations . Now I know you have some perspirations , but have you ever thought about your aspirations Now ?

If not , I would strongly encourage you to pause right now and listen to the episode . You Can Dream Again . Then . Take these goals or standards , breaking them down into smaller , manageable steps . Remember baby steps . Make big dreams in order to maintain that motivation and track progress .

For starters , let's say keep it to , let's say , three goals or standards that you want to create as habits over the next 30 days . Write them down , keep them simple and put them somewhere where you can see them and get gritty 30 days after 30 days , they become more than a habit . They become part of your grit . Two you got to maintain consistency .

Without consistency , it ain't happening . Commit to a consistent effort and practice towards your goals or standards . And that's why I say baby steps , make big dreams . If you try to change too much at one time , you won't sustain it . You need to practice towards your goals , even when progress seems slow or obstacles arise , because you know they will arise .

Consistency builds momentum and then it reinforces determination with lots of practice . Now ask yourself is my goal or standard to win or is it for sale ? Because if it's to win , you will stay consistent towards that aspiration that you want to achieve Now . Number three embrace challenges . View obstacles as opportunities for growth rather than setbacks .

That means you're kind of developing a growth mindset that welcomes adversity , which is funny , because normally , as single parents , we're wanting to get away from it . You want to welcome it and invite it in as a chance to learn , adapt and become stronger . Now , of all the strategies that I'm going to share with you today , this , to me , is the most important .

The solo journey , as you know , is one long challenge to either set you up or set you back , and it's really all in how you view it and pursue it .

Now listen , in his book Man's Search for Meaning , viktor Frankl , a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps during World War II , chronicling his experiences as and describing his psychotherapeutic method that's a long word which involved identifying a purpose to each person's life through one of three ways One , the completion of tasks . Two , caring for another person .

Or three , finding meaning by facing suffering with dignity .

Frankl now listen to this observed that among the fellow inmates in the concentration camp , those who survived were able to connect with a purpose in life to feel positive about , and who then immerse themselves in imagining that purpose in their own way , such as conversing with an imaginary loved one , an imagined let me get that right loved one .

According to Frankl , the way a prisoner imagined the future affected his longevity . Now you talk about challenges . In 1942 , just nine months after his marriage , frankl and his family . They were sent to Anakant-Therestandestat concentration camp I don't even know how to say that . His father died there of starvation and pneumonia .

Then , in 1944 , frankl and the surviving members of his family were now transported to Auschwitz , where his mother and brother were murdered in the gas chambers . His wife , tilly , later died of typhus . Frankel spent three years in four concentration camps . But check this out . Following the war , he did survive .

He became head of the neurology department of the General Psycho no , let me get that right the General Polyclinic in Vienna Hospital and established a private practice in his home . He worked with patients until his retirement in 1970 . Ladies , if that doesn't inspire you , I don't know what else is . If he can do it , so can you . Number four develop resilience .

Cultivate resilience by reframing setbacks as temporary and solvable . It's all in reframing it to get to see a different picture . Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your efforts , while also learning from failures to improve future outcomes . Number five find purpose and passion . Connect deeply with your goals and find meaning in the work you do .

Just suck the juiciness out of it . When you have a strong sense of purpose and passion , guess what ? You're more likely to persevere through difficulties and stay motivated . Number six build self-control . Develop self-discipline and self-control to stay focused on the long-term goal or standard even when faced with distractions or immediate gratification temptations .

And here's where consistency comes in play . You want to practice delaying gratification and managing impulses effectively . To practice delaying gratification and managing impulses effectively Now .

This is a must and it is a step that you don't want to skip , nor skip teaching your kids , because you know we are growing up in a society and a culture of immediate gratification . And you know whether you're baking a cake , growing a garden , reshaping your figure .

You know , and reshaping your figure , you know you don't see the change right away , as the gratification is delayed , but it is developing . You are developing . You want to teach it , preach it , walk it out and you will reach it . Seven seek support and mentorship .

Surround yourself with supportive and truth-seeking individuals who encourage your growth and offer guidance . Seek mentorship from those who have demonstrated grit and can provide insight and advice .

That is why you will hear me time and time again on each podcast promoting the Shepherds Village University , any of our blogs and especially our in-person it's a Single Mom Thing classes , as you are surrounded by a community and in unity with other single moms , with some that are a step before you , some that are behind you and some that are right there with

you in the grit . Number eight practice positive self-talk . Foster a positive internal dialogue that reinforces your strengths , capabilities and progress . You know your chatter matters , so challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that undermine your confidence and perseverance and ask where did that come from ? And then reword it . Number nine celebrate progress .

Acknowledge and celebrate milestones , no matter how small , recognizing your achievements . You know what it does . It actually boosts your morale and sustains motivation for continued effort . But you know what ? It is the one thing that I think we do less of .

We're always celebrating and having a party for things that we do wrong , but why don't we ever celebrate our progress , our success and when we do things right or even well ? Now I want to let this one sink in a bit , as I'm springboarding after that thought , acknowledging your efforts and your outcomes , I don't know , even if they seem small .

Now , to me and I'm speaking to the choir here now , listen in completing my first children's book , a thought I used to think was never possible became possible . It was a dream that now is part of my reality .

I mean , I really , really , really need to let that sink in and celebrate it , to have it become part of my new DNA and resilience plan to move me up and on to the next goal . So how many times do we have a huge victory and never celebrate it ? We just move on .

We must actually , I think , pause for that cause , for really for it to not only celebrate it , for it to really have an effect , changing our affect for a filling for future , an effect changing our affect for a feeling for future . Give yourself permission to sit this one out and let that celebration sink in . And number 10 , reflect and learn Regularly .

Reflect on your experiences , your successes and challenges . Identify lessons learned , learned , areas for improvement and adjustments needed in your approach to strengthen your grit over time . As I close and here is a pro tip allow yourself to get disturbed in this disturbing season . Remember you're expanding your comfort zone by stepping into the discomfort zone .

So if you're having challenging thoughts of I don't know , I can't , it's for someone else , I'm scared , guess what . You're right where you are supposed to be . Think about it . Think about it like , let's say , a new pair of leather shoes you just bought for yourself I don't know who buys leather shoes but let's just say , a pair of patent leather shoes .

You're wearing something new and it feels uncomfortable . Until you break them in right , you may even get a blister . Grit is breaking yourself in for breakthroughs . Once you break those shoes in , they become easier to walk in , they get comfortable , they conform to your feet and then they will take you anywhere you want to go .

Wherever your attention goes , your energy and your feet will go as well . I promise you this season isn't forever , ladies , but your reasons why you can't succeed in this season , those can last forever . Do you want those thoughts to win or do you want to get a grit ? So get gritty with some single moms at our next .

It's a Single Mom Thing class and support group for those that live in the Tampa Bay area on Tuesday , june 9th , from 6 to 8 pm with our executive director , april McKnight , who will be speaking on co-parenting . To sign up and save your seat today . Go to wwwshepherdsvillagecom . Forward slash classes . Having a hard time getting some grit , need some prayer ?

We care about you . Call us at 822-855-PRAY , day or night . Have you got a grit ? I'd love to hear about it . Send me a text . Go to the description right now and in the description section , click send Sherry a text . Are you enjoying our single mom success series ? Join us next week , as I have my gal pal April Nightback and her daughter , as promised .

You won't want to miss it , as I have no idea where this conversation will go , but I know that it will definitely grow us as we hear what single mom success sounds like and looks like from the lens of a child of divorce . Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you .

Thanks for listening to it's a Single Mom Thing . I hope you enjoyed our time together . If you have more questions on how to have a relationship with Jesus or need prayer , visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom . Backslash prayer For more information and resources . Check out our show notes .