Single Mom Life Hacks: How To Have Success With Your Little Someone's

So , before we begin today , I want to do something that I haven't done in a long time and I want to say thank you . Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here , and I'm telling you that because I don't want that to be left unsaid . And while we're giving out some gratitude , why don't you thank you Really ?

I mean , being a parent is a hard job , but being a single parent , that is , without a doubt , beyond hard . It's frustrating , lonely , never ending , exhausting and always changing , except for the only you part . So , even though you spend time with yourself , it is really hard to find time for yourself .

You're always on the clock , even if you get sick , am I right ? It's very easy for a single to get lost in what I like to call the solo shuffle . So give yourself a big hand clap for taking minutes out of your day to commit to you . You may be the only you acknowledging you today , so you need to do a sister a solid .

So listen , before we dive into our talk today , I have something else I want to say , as I feel it is something you need to hear . I see you and you are amazing . You really are .

You are blessed , beautiful , capable , worthy and , believe it or not , a powerful parent , even if it may not be apparent to you right now , you are , and this has nothing to do with your outward appearance . This is just simply who you are .

Every day , you wake up to serve someone other than yourself , your kiddos , even if it's late some days or terribly hard on other days just to get out of bed . And you know something else about you that we have talked about before , but I want to keep saying it .

You are fearfully and wonderfully made and , as we discussed last week , you were born with a name , and that name means something that gives meaning to your life and tells others who you are . And you know something else . I know about you , and I know I know a lot , and I haven't even met you . You matter the things you do matter the way you do .

It matters . There isn't another mother out there who packs a lunch like you or gives love the way your kiddos need it . You are important , you have purpose , you have value , you have worth , and it has nothing to do with the dollars in your bank account . You are significantly single and get this .

You are a world changer in your kid's world and the world of difference their life is going to make in this world . Have you ever really thought about it like that ?

When you are on the toilet today and I like to have some fun here with some words , toil on that , like , really , what in the world would your children do if there was no , you Think about that and find your significance in that , as a solo , you may not have a lot of people in your life who tell you that , nor remind you that there is significance in

your singleness and , let's be honest , as most single peeps are in survival mode , you may not even give someone the time of day to share that with you . You may not share that with you . So listen , right now do this with me . Take a deep breath . Just sit there for a second . Sister , you got time .

Take a deep breath and then I want you to breathe this thought in Today . This world needs you . You were created for a purpose and you have an assignment that only you can do . And you have an assignment that only you can do , even if you think you can't do it nor know what that is , right now you do and listen . Right now , that is to be a parent .

So listen , if it's okay with you . We are going to make a Y-O-U turn , a U-turn , over the next couple of episodes together and start a series of new conversations that I want to have with you and well , really , if I'm honest , god wants me to have with you .

Now , if you are a person of faith , you know God doesn't just audibly call and audible and say things out loud , like Omaha , mexico , blue 80 , sherry said what . On the contrary , he's very quiet , soft spoken and , for me , speaks to me in between thoughts , either while I'm driving or doing my hair .

He whispers words to me and shares with me ideas or inspired conversations with me . For some , I have heard for them this usually happens in their shower time . Maybe you can agree , you see , but what I have found is that if I am not focused , I may totally miss out on something special he wants me to share , or share with me , or even share with you .

So for those of you listening who maybe have a different faith than mine and that's okay , listen . But when I say something like God put something on my heart to share with you , I just want to be clear with you that this is what I mean by that and how it happens , so not as to confuse you .

So , even though we may not share the same faith , I do want to be clear what he puts on my heart is not just for me , it's for you too , and with that I'm going to segue for a second and then circle this conversation back so you can see how what we're going to talk about today all applies to you .

So , as of recently , he meaning God is putting this inspiring thought in my head about identity , which we spent a lot of time on last week 29 minutes to be exact , on the episode called Will the Real you Please Stand Up Well afterwards . He had this thought for me too . Please stand up Well afterwards .

He had this thought for me too , and I love it because it was about my identity and maybe seeing some things that he sees that I haven't seen about me Now . We may have been hanging together for the last three years and you've known me as Sherry podcast host , but you've not known me as Sherry , your single mom success coach .

That is who he says I am , and you know what I agree . For once in my life I agree with him on something when it pertains to me . You see , my success is your success . What I do , I do for you so you can learn what I did , so you can do it too .

Now I know that's a lot to take in and if you say that three times , you're totally going to be lost .

You see , even though I may have been a hot mess express at times in my single season as a parent , it is in that season where I grew from the seeds that he planted and he was growing me , using my single success to be my story to share with you , so it can be a part of your story .

You see , he qualified me in that season so I can speak to you in yours . So , encircling back , I'm going to tell you the secret . That is his desire for you too . It is his desire for you to be a success , own your success and discover how you can have success as a single mom .

Doesn't that kind of get you curious and excite you Like , wow , I could be a success at being a single mom . I know it goes contrary to this world , but listen , it is going to change your children's world when you own that , when you own it right now and not later .

So , as a fellow hot mess express , let's get on board and pull this thought train out of the station with five single mom life hacks on how to have success with your little someones . Hack number one words change small worlds . Okay , so I've got this question for you .

How did you feel when you first picked out this podcast out of the 105 other episodes you could have picked , or even another podcast you could listen to Meaning ? Did you pick and press play because you needed a pick-me-up or even possibly a new perspective ? Did you come here feeling defeated , discouraged , tired , stressed to the mother , or even anxious ?

Maybe you were even feeling misunderstood or overlooked , because , listen , most single peeps do feel that way . You know you're in good company . Now I want you to get laser focused on that feeling . Do you have it on lock , okay ?

So did that initial feeling change after I thanked you for being here , or even when I gave yourself a little bit of toad in the room to make some toad for you , meaning gratitude . Was it when I acknowledged you , saying I see you , did you feel a slight sigh of relief ?

Or how about when I told you who you are , or even that you matter , did the needle on that initial feeling change , even if it was just a little , whether maybe in your outlook or even in your blood pressure or your posture ? Take a moment to get a pulse on that . How do you feel now and why do you think that is Now ?

Listen , I'm going to tell you why that is . It's because words change small worlds , one word at a time . I mean , this isn't really a new concept , but one that I believe , in my opinion , is often overlooked . You see what someone says to someone or over someone has power . It speaks either words of possibility or disability .

It says , yes , you can , or oh , I could never do that . As a believer , listening , let me ask you who is God ? Well , in John 1 , 1 , it says In the beginning was the Word , and the Word was with God and the Word was God . So of course , I got another question for you as a believer what is the Bible known as ?

It's known as what it is known as the Word of God , right , and when we speak it , there's what Power ? In fact , as a believer , you are taught to read it out loud to activate that power . And God said let there be light . And there was light . And it says that in Genesis 1 , 3 . Those are familiar words , but they are also incredibly profound .

God spoke this world into existence . Profound God spoke this world into existence . He said let there be light , darkness , oceans , plants , animals and people . He did what . He spoke the world into existence . Is this microphone on ? So if you are still with me , check it .

As a believer , then how important do you think he cares about the words we speak , whether to ourselves or others ? In fact , he tells us they speak life or death . So , mama , what words you share with your little someones will impact their world .

Even if they're just that small words and I'm not just talking about today and in this moment , I'm talking about their yesterdays and their tomorrows your words have the ability to either build them up or tear them down . In the matter of just one word , their whole existence . Now think about it . I mean , you were once a kid .

Are there words that your parents had with you that you now say to yourself , or even find yourself now saying those to your kids . My guess is , for most of you that's a yes . Some of you may have even spent years in therapy to untie the lie . Someone spoke over you , whether it was intentional or not . Now your kids ? They are no different .

Is that the future you want for them and even your grandkids ? My guess that is a heck no . But you are tired of being sick and tired and so sometimes you just let the words fly out your mouth , just saying and spraying it like some graffiti , just tagging them here and there . So let me ask you do your kids listen to you ?

Or even maybe have they stopped listening to you ? Possibly and I'm just saying this is possibly because it doesn't feel good to listen to you , so they tune you out , but they are tuned in to something else . Have they turned to other people or places that speak words that pour into them ? And guess what , my single peeps ?

In most cases those words are from the world's point of view . How do you feel about that or someone else being the authority over their life ? You're out of a job . Do you want the adversary of this world speaking words into your little someone's small world , controlling them , controlling their futures , controlling who they think they are .

You see , if we want to have success with our little someones , we need to say something different . I mean , haven't we , for like a long time now , been talking about ? If we want something different , we have to do something different . Oh yeah , I went there . The truth hurts . So why should your kids be any different , no matter their age or stage ?

We need to speak wisdom and not foolishness . We need to use our words to plant seeds for future growth , not just stunt it . Do you want your kids in therapy for years talking about how you talk to them ? You can be the hero of your kid's world by using the power and authority you have been given that you too can now give them .

So how do we do this , you may ask . Is this going to take a long time ? And at this point , can I undo what I did to them ? And the answer is yes , and you could start as soon as this podcast is over . It is not game over for you and your kids Now . That leads to hack number two intention .

So if you ever spent time in the gym or done any strength training , you may be familiar with the concept of time under tension . Time under tension TUT in other words refers to an amount of time a muscle is held under tension or strain during an exercise set . During TUT workouts , you lengthen each phase of the movement to make your sets longer .

Now , the idea is that this forces your muscles to work harder and optimizes muscular strength , endurance and growth . The same is with your time of intention . In this case , your intention is success with your kids over time and your time with them .

It optimizes everyone's strength , endurance and growth , and one way of doing that is with hack number one changing your words so you can change their small worlds . Intentions meaning an aim or a plan . Now , as you can see , this isn't a hit or miss approach . This requires focus , desire and discipline . This requires focus , desire and discipline .

Attention to intention is what is going to be woven into our upcoming hacks as well , so you need to pay attention . So listen , ladies , you can't slough this one off . Do you want success with your kids or do you just want some success sometimes ?

Now , let's be honest , from day to day , it may just be that success for that sum of time , but the goal is not to settle on . Sometimes , even the top elite athletes who have trained for years have days where their success for that day was just a sum of time , but it wasn't the sometimes .

To be successful , they have to practice , practice , practice even when it hurts , and listen , y'all . To be an elite athlete , they don't always practice in the ideal environments . Do we , as single parents , have an ideal environment ? I say no . They get better by stretching themselves and their minds , and they do that with intention .

In a podcast to come , we will develop some success strategies to develop just that intention , but for now , let's just keep our attention on the need for intention . Hack number three quit the chaos , not on your kids . Now listen , we are doing something new here , so don't get overwhelmed .

Okay , I know that this can be a little challenging because it is new , but don't come unglued , girl . Okay , you've been there for way too long , so you need to have a word with yourself . Now listen . Even for your kid's sake , I'm going to require you to seek out your success , not the next argument with the other parent .

Get over what they are doing and not doing and you just stick to doing you . Boo See , success is contagious , and when you get your life on track , I don't care , no matter your single situation . We are not going to use that as an excuse , no more .

You will teach your kids , even your troubled teen , how to change their situation for today and all their tomorrows . Now you might say , sherry , but you have no idea what their dad did to me , and you're right . But I do know this . I know what your choice to stay on chaos is doing to your kids . You see , nothing changes if you don't change .

And right now , chaos is shortchanging them and listen , girl , it's shortchanging you too . You want success with and for your kids . You got to want it more for yourself first . So what's causing your chaos ? Is it the new relationship you're in or the one you want to be in ? Is it your finances , family or girl ? Is it even you ?

Are you like a kid not getting the attention you want ? So you create some drama and trauma . Be honest with yourself and then ask yourself what is this chaos costing me ? Is it your health , your money , your family ? Because , listen , chaos always comes with a cost , and what I have found is that it is usually also your time .

So right now , in this very moment , you can change your world and set an intention to live somewhere else besides chaos . May I suggest peace . That may not be normal for you , not even part of your childhood experience , and I understand that . But listen , you can make it a part of your child's experience .

So if you are focused on things , let's say , like fear , you are in some chaos Now . However , if you focus on the future of your kids , you can quickly move out of the fear to potentially possibility . If you haven't listened to the podcast on , you Can Dream Again . I would strongly encourage you to do that after this one .

Hack number four be honest on your mistakes . Let's be honest . How many times did you as a child ever hear your parents apologize for something they did wrong ? I don't think I ever heard that . Maybe they didn't . I had tuned them out because the things they said to me didn't feel so good .

Now I mean particularly for this podcast and the rearing of you , not so much as other people , for the sake of this podcast , that maybe you have noticed they didn't apologize to . We're talking about you and them . When they let a four-letter word slip , for example , were they quick to apologize ?

You see , in the generation I grew up in and you've heard me say this before children were to be seen and not heard . We sat at the kids' table and , all kidding aside , our parents never owned their table , never owned their table . Listen to me , they never owned their mistakes , owned their table . Never owned their table .

Listen to me , they never owned their mistakes at their table that us kids heard at our table . Some of my greatest successes as a single parent were my failures . Those four letter words that's what I'm talking about . Not doing something I said I would is also another one .

Or even oh , this is a tough one forgetting a promise that I made that crushed my kid . You see , it was in those moments when I had to check myself and quickly apologize so not as to wreck my kid . I got vulnerable . I allowed my son to see my humanness and I asked for forgiveness when I fell short of the mark .

Now , do you know what future gains I got with that one transaction ? I got a huge ROI . That is a return on that investment . The next time I either made a mistake , or when my son made a mistake , in fact , I never had to call him out on his mistakes . He did it for me .

Now , along with this , I had to set the mindful intention of not shaming or blaming him , especially when the stakes were high and the mistakes were costly . You want success with your kids . Fail a few times and be okay with it . Hack number five have good posture . You want your kids to stand tall . It starts with your posture , mama , not theirs .

You see , how they relate to the world is based on what has been modeled and is being modeled for them . In most cases , it's what's right in front of them and that's you . So get on your knees and play with them . It's okay . I'm just saying for parents to be playful with their kids Now . I didn't say be their best friend with your kids .

That is somebody else's job and we're gonna have more on that for another time . Get down to their eye level Now . This is especially important if you want to teach direct or even course correct . Getting down to the eye level so as to talk with them , not over them . It gets their attention .

Now , this varies on their age and stage of development as to where that eye level is Now . Moms and boys , this is especially important . This eye contact thing is especially important . Don't just yell across the room . I need you to blah , blah , blah . I am telling you they will never do it .

When you speak , you need to make sure you have eye contact with them before you say anything and listen . Please don't over explain everything either . Keep it short and keep it in their eyesight . Boys are visual learners and , like husbands , hear nothing if they aren't looking at you . Also , think of the posture of the tone of your voice at the time too .

Let's say you're going to play a new game with your kids , for example , and you know kids , they're going to be overly excited if you spend some time with them . They got the ants in their pants and well , they just like to chat , chat , chat and they just chat away .

Now let's say that this game is a game they've never played before and there are instructions you have to share . One great way to get their intention and attention is the posture you take with the tone of your voice . What I do is I talk really softly at a level where they can barely hear me . They see my lips moving , but they can't hear a thing .

A single mom is saying I keep talking at that level until they notice . Hey , I need to get quiet so I can hear what mom is saying . I've even used this technique when we have other kids over . I would start talking at an amplified level and then I would start bringing it down , down , down and down .

This was super effective when I needed the energy in the room to come down , or even if I had important information I needed to share . I would bring the tone of my voice down to several levels , lower myself to the ground , and eventually they will level out too .

Trust me , mom , you don't always have to take the posture and position of yelling at your kids to get their intention excuse me , attention . In fact , the more I made it my intention to do something unexpected , the unexpected happened . Then there is always the posture of praise . Praise raises their confidence . Find something every day to praise them about .

It is in those small things when the big things that matter to them they will share with you , first over their friends . So , to recap , if you want to have success with your little someones , this someone meaning you is going to 1 . Change their words to change their kid's world . 2 . Do everything with intention . 3 . Quit the chaos and not on your kids .

Four , be honest and own your mistakes . And five , have good posture . Listen , I promise you , if you do these hacks repeatedly and with intention and I said repeatedly , you will be an elite single mom success and you will start to have success with your little someones .

Just like I did , want more single mom hacks , head on over to sv-universityorg for our faith-based e-learning . Start and stop anytime and pick right back off where you left . Have a wonderful week and remember it's a single mom thing and not the single thing that stops you . Thanks for listening to . It's a Single Mom Thing . I hope you enjoyed our time together .

If you have more questions on how to have a professional Jesus or need prayer , visit us at wwwshepherdsvillagecom . Backslash prayer . For more information and resources , check out our show notes .