The Horses Are Fine

If you’ve ever planned a party, you know that without thoughtfully executed ice breakers, your guests are entirely on their own to form their factions and, through diplomatic channels, strike that perfect party balance between anarchy and fascism. Lucky for everyone at your next get together, Two Pants Tapan, Mirrored Mike, and Jumpsuit Josh are back with an all-new Certified Rager Total Party Solution™. This time we’re offering an exclusive one-week only Ice Breakers Crash Course, in which you’ll learn the party boys’ tips and tricks to freeze awkward encounters in their tracks, including: what to look for in electing your faction’s Super Delegate, the ins and outs of ice picking, and how cold it has to be to keep from melting. In other news, Josh handles the nuts (and bolts), Tapan hoes down at Kid Rock’s Drunk Pit, and Mike makes friends in some very woah places.

Pairings: Bass Nectar Fishing Lures; totally ethical glue; tears for cheers