An Apologetic Word to Your Mother

Hello, my name is Tapan. I'm a podcast host, a man about town, and this week, I'm your only friend. That's right, it's just you and me now. Isn't this nice? We have so much fun together. Remember that time we talked about salt? Those were the days. Remember Josh and Mike and how stupid and ugly they are? This is much better. Yes. We're having fun.

Pairings: FIFA withdrawals; the nicest mom ever; the dismembered corpses of your friends