Jenna, my wife bought a swan raft for the pool. I hated it. I thought it was an eye saw. It was like 4 feet long by 2 feet or 3 feet high. Guess what happened when I had that thought. I got angry at the raft. I complained to my friends. I took pictures of it and sent it to them. I told Jenna, it was too big and ugly. That's what happens when you add fuel to negative thoughts. The fire grows bigger, you get even more agitated. Fortunately, I've been practicing mindfulness.
And about 23 hours later, I was able to drop back. I became aware of my thoughts rather than becoming my thoughts. Once I became aware of my thoughts, I asked myself this question. Who is this person telling me the raft is an eye saw? When I looked for the look, I couldn't find them. That's because the ego is an illusion. The raft isn't an eye sore the raft isn't ugly. Those are labels, a story my ego made up. The raft just is. It's a piece of plastic floating in the pool.
It's our perceptions, not external events that disturb us. Whenever I'm able to observe my thoughts, I turn down the volume. I feel calm and peaceful. The opposite is also true. I am definitely a work in progress in this area. Are you?