Amberly Lago: Triumph Over Trauma | E87

thrive. So it's so important to invest in yourself by connecting with the right people, whether that's hiring a coach or getting into the right rooms and conferences.

her leg from being amputated. If that wasn't enough, after accident, she was diagnosed with an incurable nerve disease. tubbed the suicide disease, lost your business fell into a deep depression and became an alcoholic. Today, Amber Lee is a peak performance coach TEDx speaker, top 1% podcast host motivational speaker and a leading expert in the field of resilience, transformation, and

health and wellness. She is also the best selling author of the book True Grit and grace, and is also the founder of unstoppable Life Mastermind. Amberley. You have an incredible story and it's a true pleasure to have you on my show. Welcome to a Search of Excellence.

But also Yeah, growing up in Texas where we had sayings, like, you know, I mean, I remember, you know, having this frizzy curly hair and my mom trying to brush it out and say, you know, I'd be crying from her brushing my curls out and she'd say it hurts to be pretty. And in church, her pinching me if I ever said anything, or did anything and she's like, hydro crazy. And baby lady, you know.

So those things. And my dance teacher was always like, keep going, you need to push through the pain, just keep going suck it up, like cowgirl up. And so I grew up with a lot of those sayings. And I think that it is important. I mean, I've got two children of my own. I've got a daughter who is actually just turned 27. And she's going she's in medical school at Yale. And I have a sophomore in high school here and he Texas, and she is

got a lot of grit. She's a horseback rider, she gets thrown off that horse actually just happened yesterday, and gets back on. And so I think it's really important to instill the grit and the resilience in our children. But I think that it's not so good to steal this idea of grit. That means suck it up. I think that it's grit with connection and community is where we find resilience and

asking for help. And that's something that didn't really know how to do or, or what to do, and it's changed my life. And so that's what I've learned along my journey is like it's not about sucking it up and stuffing it down because those feelings will eventually have to rise to the surface and we heal what we reveal. We're

from my older brother. And what I did, I think it's so so important for parents to know that children need an outlet because I think that me having an outlet saved my life. I really do. And so my outlet was dance, and athleticism. And I dove deep into what can I do that makes me feel better. And so I didn't really feel safe at home. It was scary and predictable. And so what I did was I focused on what I could do, and that was get great grades in school. I become a

high achiever. I became an honor roll student, I was Miss Greenville High School. I became I was in the drill team. I choreographed for the drill team I choreographed for acapella, I choreographed for the drama team I choreographed for, I mean, anything that had to do with anything about if they needed something choreographed, I was the girl. And not only for that, it was like other schools too. I

became an entrepreneur. And I started coming up with with dance routines that I could then sell to drill teams at other Texas schools, because drill team is huge in Texas. I don't know if any of y'all are listening or like what is drill team. Drill Team is huge in Texas. And it's like halftime at football games, when you come out and you do a kick line and you do a dance routine. And so I became the choreographer. I work

I ended up working for jobs. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had four steady jobs, and I was able to save up enough money. Because I knew I wanted to get out of there, move to LA and make something in my life. And the only way I was going to do that was if I worked. And I saved up the money myself. And I

did it myself. And so I think it's really important for us to listen to our children and be there for our children, but not enable them and not give them everything like show the importance of of working for something which you know what, Randall, I'm not so good at like, you know, I got two daughters. And I'm like, Man, I want them to have everything that I didn't have. I want to give it to them. Because I had to work so hard now it's so

stressed out. And there's like a fine line between Okay, what do you give them? And what do you make them work for? But

knows exactly. I think it's so important for kids to have these passions where they can express themselves and they can like look in and research and she's so passionate about like, she knows exactly how fast the car from can go from, you know, she'll be like, Oh, this car can go from zero to 60 and 1.2 seconds or whatever. I'm like, where do you how's this in your head? You know, but I'm glad that she's passionate about it.

think. But I think there's a lot of people out there that say that they're experts in something. But I think that it's up to us to really do the research and find out and really seek counsel and not opinion. So what I mean by that is like, opinion is like, for instance, when I wanted to write my book, I was like, you know, I think I want to read a book. And I told some family members and close friends and they were like,

You're crazy. You don't own a computer, you're the fitness girl, you don't have a college education, you need to stick to the fitness stuff. And when I went to a that was their opinion, because they had never written a book. So how would they be able to advise me on next steps to write a book, when I went to someone who had published 76 books, he's like, I think it's a great idea. This is what you'll need to do, and do this, this and this, and you're gonna get it done. And I

thought, that is counsel. And so I hired him to be my mentor for a while. And I say hired because there are some people that are mentors that will do it, and they'll just mentor you, and they don't charge you. And I've had coaches that I've paid, and I've been a part of masterminds, I think that whatever you know, you can find the value, it will

be so beneficial. And it can, can really, in the long run, help you to waste money, because without a mentor, I wasted a lot of money, because I was just trying to figure things out on my own. But I was so blessed in the very beginning. I was so blessed to have a dance teacher and a track coach who at the time, I was like, Man, why are they so hard on me, they're harder on me than they are with anybody else on the dance company are on the track team.

And why is the coach every track mate, she's makes me sit in the front of the bus with her. And she sits there and talks to me every what a blessing that was, I didn't realize it at the time. The reason my dance teacher was hard on me is because she knew I had potential and she wanted to push me to my limits past my limits to keep going forward. She knew I had an Emmy, my track coach, she knew, she was like, Hey, we're depending on you to

get us to district. And she would train me mentally and physically and have me sit at the front of the bus with her. And at the time, I didn't realize just how blessed I was looking back, I know how blessed I was. And so now to this day, when I have a mentor that's willing to take 10 minutes of their time with me and answer a question or hop on a call or give me some input or advice or make an introduction or connection. I know what a blessing that is. I think we all need mentors in our life.

person as I am today. Or the same professional that I am today without the mentors that I've had. I think it's critical. I agree with you. 100%

there. But the thing that I love the most is getting to be a mentor and guide several women in my unstoppable Life Mastermind because I want to show them, hey, this is the mistake I did that cost me a lot of money. Don't do that. And this is what you can do that will help you get to point A to point B faster. And this is the connection that I can make for

you. And you know, just just this past weekend, we had an in person meetup where all these ladies gathered in my house, which was a big deal for my husband because he's very private, and he doesn't like people over but he knows how much I love these women. And he was like, I know you love these women, so of course ya have them over. But when when you can come together with like minded people, and you can have a mentor that can guide you. It is life changing. It's career

changing. It is it's unbelievable.

office. And a fun and creative alternative to bringing a bottle of wine to somebody's house for dinner bliss speeches is available for purchase on Amazon, where it has glowing reviews and a five star rating get your next amazing gift and order a copy of bliss beaches by clicking the link in our show notes. For those people who don't know, and I didn't know this until probably six months ago, and I was invited to the first one. What is a mastermind?

And are they all is cracked up as they they say they are the one that I went to promised a whole bunch of things that ended up for me being a couple of successful guys trying to sell investments to a large group of people. Oh,

learned a lot of lessons. And it's it inspired me to really develop the mastermind that I have. But, you know, I spent 1000s on one mastermind where they were like, Yeah, this is high level female entrepreneurs, blah, blah, blah. They're just, you know, the elite. And I get on the first zoom, and it's over 150 people on zoom of everyone that this lady has ever coached. And there were beginning coaches, there were people that didn't even have social media yet didn't even have a website.

And look, we all start from somewhere. And I appreciate that I believe me, I appreciate access started from nothing and had to build my way up. But when you're paying 1000s, and you're being told that you're going to be put in a group with people who are already to that level, they actually already have their website, they have their social media, they have a following. They have big dreams, goals, plans, and you get on at something different. That was the last time I went to one

meeting never went back. Another one I spent $50,000 on if the it was $50,000.

leadership person. They could have written five books, they could be talking about entrepreneurship, real estate, whatever the topic is successful women successful men, and they invite people to a location and charge them lots of money to hear them speak and a group of successful like minded people speaking so if it's a real estate mastermind, you've got four or five or six successful people who are all talking but you pay to go and some of these are very expensive. I mean

$50,000 is a ton of money. And I'm sure the people All who are producing that make a lot of money. I mean, you host a mastermind for 100 people, and you charge $100,000 Each and people do this. And there's lots of these out there, that person is making $10 million last whatever they're spending to produce the event. And maybe they have Mike Tyson come in and speak or some athlete or Steph Curry. But these are very profitable gatherings that a lot of people, they're they're

everywhere. And as you get into the self help movement, there, they're all over the place. So sorry, I just wanted

that. Like, I just got off a call yesterday where I told the person I was like, hey, yeah, you get your your monthly coaching session, and you get your weekly, you know, zoom, coaching sessions with the group, I was like, but you have my number. I was like, call me text me, if you need me. That's why I'm there. I'm there for you. It's not because I care about you. And so that was a big difference for me is like, I

want to be there for them. But then I also teach them to have experts come in, and then I put them on a stage and I shine the light on them. So I get them an opportunity to be seen on stage.

getting on the call? And I'm like, Well, yeah, because I want to see if you're a good fit. Because we're going to be family, we're basically going to be together a whole lot. So I want to make sure our energy matches, and it's a good fit. And so I have to tell you something funny, I actually launched the unstoppable Life Mastermind I will never forget this because it was March 16 2020. And we were in LA. And you know, being in LA like the

14th 15th. Everybody was kind of going crazy and 2020 and like, Oops, things are starting to close down. And it was my birthday on March 16. And Johnny, my husband was like, Oh, well already called the restaurant and they're gonna be open. And I said, Johnny, I think things are starting to close down. Those No, no, I called them. It's confirmed. We're going to dinner. We were going to the sunset room, you know, resume? Yes. That love that place. Anyway, wake up the

next day. All the gyms are closed, all the restaurants are closed. And I was like, Oh, I am launching something called the unstoppable Life Mastermind and the world has basically stopped. And my husband was like, you can't launch that the world has shut down. And I was like, No, I'm not stopping. I'm launching it. And I did it. And it has grown and grown. And now we do bigger events annually. And so, you know, there are ways to be

unstoppable. And I think the secret to that is when you have a community that can you can connect with and you can come together with and you can do it together.

back. I'm also going to be similar to you doing some paid corporate speaking, starting in q1 of next year that I'm super excited about bringing my message to more people and helping corporations. Think about new ways to prepare and succeed but we'll talk about that. A little later. Awesome. I'm very excited about it.

to be in shape. So when something does go wrong, and I'm not talking about getting hit on your motorcycle, but I'm talking about a knee injury or an arm injury, you think about Patrick mahomes I don't know if you saw the special on Netflix about quarterbacks are and Kirk Cousins what they do, who unfortunately, just tore his ACL. But being in shape really matters. It helps when things go wrong physically to your body.

You You did some amazing things to the point where you didn't even need knee surgery anymore.

have knee surgery. And I started going to the gym and rehabbing myself, I didn't really know what I was doing. But I was just doing what I could to try to get stronger. Like I didn't have the money or, or insurance to hire somebody to help me I was like living on my own in LA. But I noticed that the more I went to the gym, the better I felt not just physically, but mentally as well. And lo and behold, my knee

felt better. And I called I cancelled my meniscus surgery, and I never had that meniscus surgery. And I thought, wow, you know, if I can help myself and do this, for me, imagine all the other people that I could help. And I think because I had started, I've always loved working with people, I've always loved helping people and started teaching dance at a young age, then I thought, well, maybe I could get certified to be a

trainer. And so I went to school got certified to be a trainer and I started training clients. And then I loved it so much. I thought you know what other people can do this, let me show other people how to do this. And so I started a whole six week training course where I did six weeks worth of training, where I helped people understand everything they needed to know to get certified to be a

trainer. And then six weeks of them shadowing me on the gym floor to learn how to be a trainer on the gym floor, but and then six weeks of me teaching them how to run their business as a trainer. But also, I was able to pick from those people who took my course the best of the best that were taking the course. And I was like oh yeah, for sure want said I want Shannon, I want Greg, I want them to work for me, because they're great trainers. They're great people, they're,

they're their go getters. And so by having this course and helping other people to become trainers, it was wonderful. And I could help people, you know, get certified. But then I could also take the people that I felt were the best. And I could use them employ them to start working with me and we built a team that way. You

defensively. meaning that you are looking to make sure that other people see you and so you can stay out of danger. And I remember seeing this one guy that was stopped ready to make a left turn on to Ventura and I thought, okay, he sees me. And then he punched it out of the driveway and I thought, Oh, well, he doesn't see me and it was too late. I didn't have any other choice but to just like, try to jump off my let go my clutch tried to jump off my

bike. I was T boned, thrown 30 feet and I was sliding across the asphalt which seemed like forever. And when I finally came to a stop, I looked down and my leg was just crumbled into pieces. I didn't realize it at the time. But my, the reason there was so much blood is my, my femoral artery was actually severed. And luckily, you know, I had a guardian angel guy that came over and make it he made a tourniquet on my leg right away, he ripped off his belt and made

a tourniquet on my leg. And people weren't rushing over to me, though. They were looking at me when Lady fainted. And in that moment, I was screaming, and I did not want to let go of my leg because I was afraid it would actually fall off of my body. I felt like my legs were the only thing holding my leg on. And one of the first things I thought actually was, Wow, this can't be good. I might have to train clients on crutches. So even, yeah, even in this moment, I was like, Okay, how am I going

to keep working? Like, how am I going to train my clients? What am I going to do? And that was one of my first thoughts was, I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. And then, you know, rush to the hospital, put in induced coma, wake up from a coma, and I learned I've got a 1% chance of saving my leg from amputation. And I'm like, Okay, well, great. There's a 1% chance, then you're saying there's a chance, then let's find a doctor who's going to take that 1% chance with me.

Thanks for telling me there's a chance. And I asked for my phone. Like immediately when I got out of a coma. I asked for my phone because I was calling clients being trans ported from one ICU unit to another hospital. And I was on the phone with clients assuring them. Hey, I might be in ICU right now. But I'm gonna get out of here and third quarter we are going to finish strong. Don't you worry,

you know what I mean? It was like, such a like, I don't know, like, if that's an entrepreneurial mindset, or just freaking crazy, or, or what, but those were the things going through my head was, how can I keep my business running? How because to me, saving my leg. Saving my business was just as important as saving my leg. And so I've come to some hard realizations of our health is the most important thing, you know, and I had a good friend of mine tell me she goes and really

you push yourself so hard. And your impact is only as strong as you are healthy. And that really got me so now it's like, okay, I need to make sure I'm healthy. I'm taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, physically, so I can help other people and take care of other people. But I think also in that moment, being able to have a purpose and be of service to others when I was struggling through surgery after surgery, which seemed it ended up being

34 surgeries in total. That purpose is what helped me pull through some of the hardest times.

chaotic. And my husband being a cop, News travels fast and the police, the brotherhood and sisterhood of the police force and so the whole er was filled with cops and I heard this crying like I'd never heard before and I realized it was my husband now he's a big strong guy. I've never seen him cry. And he was crying. And in that moment, I thought, oh my god, I think I might be dying. And I yelled across the room, I said, Honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me.

Because in that moment, I didn't know, like if I was going to live, and I needed to know, if I did not survive, that he was going to be able to pull it together for our two daughters. That's

work for it, too. So take the action. And so I knew my whole life, and especially through this accident, like, if I wanted to learn to walk again, if I was going to work again, if I was going to have the life that I always imagined that I was going to have to dig deep and work for it.

home and abroad. And to make sure you're never disappointed by a beach visit again, plan the perfect beach trip today by visiting sandy.com. That's www.sand.com. The link is in our show notes. Stay Sandy, my friends. There's a great part of the story which you haven't talked about that much in some of the podcasts you've done, but there was a good Samaritan that came over and saved your life.

And when I was reading that I thought about this so many times, because there's so many stories about bad things happening to people. And people just watch. Right? In today's day and

everywhere. And I looked down at my leg once and saw how like crumbled into pieces into form that it's crazy to look. I mean, my foot was dangling off of my leg only attached by skin. And so there was a nurse that came over and she was like, You need to hold my hands. You need to look at me and breathe. And she did. She had me breathe kind of like you do in the MAS and I would breathe a little bit and then a curse and she'd like No,

breathe, breathe. So I didn't really like I couldn't turn around and look at him who saved my life basically. And all these years. I would love to know who that was. And then there was one other lady that came over. And both the nurse and that other lady that came over later went to see me in the hospital. When I got out of surgery got out of a coma. They came to see me and brought me food.

blood pressure. And it is the number one reason that people go out on long term disability. You were diagnosed as something with called chronic regional pain syndrome. Can you talk about that and the effect it's had on your life, and all the different medications, you've had the 73 homeopathic medications and the loving prescriptions you've been on to try to treat this?

Well, because it's healing. And I was told that it would take me a long, long time to be able to walk two years probably to be able to get up and walk in. And it was about four and a half months after my accident. And I was very proud to be upright on crutches already. It hurt like hell. And at first, I could only stand up for moments at a time because there was such pain. But I remember thinking, I've got

this doctor's appointment. And that's my goal, to be able to go to that doctor's appointment, not in a wheelchair, but on crutches to show him that I'm healing. I'm doing better. I'm gonna be walking soon. And I walk into that appointment. And he takes one look at me and like, runs out of the office. And I looked at my husband, I was like, well, that's not the reaction I was hoping for. And he comes back in and the exam to me and he says, You've got

something very serious. And I was kind of like, well, yeah, I got hit by an SUV. And he goes, No, you have an incurable nerve disease. It's called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Actually, back then it was called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, or RSD. Since then, they have they now call it CRPS. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, what's that, and he goes, Well, it's a disease of your sympathetic nervous system, you're going to always be in pain for the rest of your life.

There's no known cure, you are going to be permanently disabled, you are never going to walk again, never going to work again. You need to go home and get back in your wheelchair. And I was like, back in my wheelchair for how long and he's like, forever. And I felt like this can't be right. This can't be my life. And I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. And I remember crying all the way home. And when I got home, I did not get back in my wheelchair. Instead, I went to straight to

physical therapy. And my physical therapist was like, Amberly, what are you doing here? You don't have an appointment today. And I said, I know I don't. But I've just learned something. If I want to have the life that I've always imagined, then I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever worked before. And I did not know how hard that was going to be because it has been very

difficult. I mean, yes, I was trying every kind of medical treatment and still do actually, I'm flying to Costa Rica next month to try a new medical treatment. I tried everything though. Ketamine infusions, spinal stimulator, where they put metal leads into your back, spinal blocks, radiofrequency spinal radiofrequency, which the side effect of that is you can

be paralyzed. But I'm like, Okay, what the hell live in this constant chronic pain that's ranked highest on the pain, scale or risk, you know, getting out of pain and being paralyzed, and I chose Let's risk being paralyzed together. This pain was that bad. And, in fact, to the point where about a year after my accident, I was diagnosed, I went into my doctor, and I was like, You know what, I appreciate doctor with

that. You've done all the surgeries that you've done 34 surgeries to save my leg, but it's given me too much pain, it's deformed. It doesn't work properly. It just leaves me in constant chronic pain. I hate it. We need to just cut it off. And it goes, You can't do that. Like it could make the nerve disease spread. It could make it worse like that. That's not a

solution. And it was in that moment that everything changed because I had to get in complete acceptance like, this is it these are the cards I've been dealt. And it's up to me to figure out how to play the hell out of these cards. And so I had to change the way I ate my

mindset. The way I worked out everything I have to I've had to change everything from how I plan things from whether I'm flying to go speak at An event I can't just hop on a plane and go speak at an event and get there and go speak on stage and I've got all the energy now I have to get there the day before. Let the nerve disease kind of calm down and what it feels like so people ask me what it feels

like. And I actually don't even like to talk about what it feels like that often because when I talk about it, and I focus on it, it makes it worse and I can actually start to feel it more. But I will tell you what it feels like is it feels like so I have CRPS in my right leg. Some people get it in their wrists and people get it in both legs. Some people get it full body. Luckily mine has not spread anywhere except for my right leg and it's mostly in my foot that has the least amount of damage.

And what it feels like is if you can imagine like to me like a vise grip that is on my foot and you're just cranking that vise grip grip and you're just squeezing it tighter and tighter and tighter till it wants to implode and like battery acid going through your veins.