"Send Ben a text" Humans NEED Connection Being connected a fundamental human need. One of the struggles that we've been facing over the years in education is a lack of connection. One of the struggles that I believe is facing families is a lack of connection. And, I believe that we are starting to see the consequences. Schools are focusing more and more on academics and results. Covid has made things tough. Phones, electronics, and social media are all competing for our attention and our teen's ...
Feb 03, 2022•31 min•Ep. 86
"Send Ben a text" Nothing Has Gone Wrong, Even When Your Team Loses! The idea for this episode came to me while I was watching a bowl game with my wife. Pitt and Michigan State were playing. Pitt was winning most of the second half and it looked like they'd cruise on to victory pretty easily, but with less than 3 minutes left, everything changed. Michigan State drove down and scored a touchdown, went for two, and went up by 3. I'm sure Pitt fans were worried, but there was still plenty of time f...
Jan 27, 2022•21 min•Ep. 85
"Send Ben a text" Daily Habits for Parenting Success Set Your Intention Each Day Last thing before you go to bed, set your intention for the following day. First thing when you wake up in the morning, remind yourself of and commit to your intention. Here's some examples from my life. Today I will listen with curiosity, patience, and love. Today I will be fun, energetic, and engaged with my children. Today I will learn a new way to connect with my 15 year old son. Commit to Connection Daily Be 10...
Jan 20, 2022•19 min•Ep. 84
"Send Ben a text" Why Is Trust Important To Me? One of the reasons that I've chosen "TRUST" as my word of 2022 is because I often catch myself not trusting myself and others. One of the things that I've found is that the more I trust myself, the more my business grows. Another thing I've found is that the more I trust others, the better I feel. I would rather trust people than distrust them. I like how it feels better than distrust. So this year as a parent, I'm committing to trust myself. I'm t...
Jan 13, 2022•21 min•Ep. 83
"Send Ben a text" Don't Try To Force The Model On Your Teen One of the most powerful tools that I teach is the Self-Coaching Model! When I teach it to parents they love it and say it makes total sense. Usually when I teach it to teens the model they love it. But, I've noticed a trend with teens whose parents are coaches or who have coaches. Oftentimes, these teens tell me, "I hate the model!" Every time this has happened, it's because their parents have tried to force the model on them or tried ...
Jan 06, 2022•29 min•Ep. 82
"Send Ben a text" What's a "Tough" Parenting Moment? Bottom line is, whether or not a parenting moment is " TOUGH" or not is based on your thoughts about the moment. Tough parenting moments can be anything from a fight with your teen, to broken rules, to letting go and letting your teen make their own mistakes. If you're like most parents, you've experienced tons of "tough" parenting moments. You know the frustration, disappointment, anger, and even sorrow that can come with tough parenting mome...
Dec 30, 2021•23 min•Ep. 81
"Send Ben a text" It's Common to Think Your Not Good Enough We have 60,000 thoughts each day. 85% of those thoughts are negative. 95% of those thoughts are habitual thoughts. It's okay! This is part of being human. You do though, have the power to retrain your brain and develop new thought patterns. It's natural to think that you are not good enough, but I promise you that you are good enough! You are exactly the parent that your teen needs. Now, you get to move forward and become the parent of ...
Dec 23, 2021•40 min•Ep. 80
"Send Ben a text" Boundaries Aren't Meant to Control Anyone One of the biggest mistakes I see parents making when it comes to boundaries is when they make a boundary hoping that it will change their teen's behavior. Anytime you are hoping to change your teen's behavior, that is more of a manual or manipulation than it is a boundary. Boundaries aren't meant to control anyone, especially not the other person. It is important to remember that you cannot control anyone other than yourself. Any effor...
Dec 16, 2021•21 min•Ep. 79
"Send Ben a text" Discomfort Sparks Growth Most people who sign up for coaching with me do it because they are experiencing discomfort of some kind. They want to change something so that they can feel better. Discomfort isn't a problem, it's just part of the human experience. Discomfort helps us know when something is wrong. Discomfort helps us know that it's time to make a change. Discomfort has the power to fuel the effort to create a change. When we can look at discomfort this way, without ju...
Dec 09, 2021•36 min•Ep. 78
"Send Ben a text" Why is Sleep So Important? Sleep is SUPER Important, and yet it's often one of the first things to sacrifice when you're busy or ignore when you're busy. A lack of sleep has been linked to several physical, mental, and emotional problems. One of the things that teens that I work with have told me is that they started to feel better when they started sleeping better. Sleep is literally a bodily function. You have to sleep. Could you imagine if you didn't go to the bathroom for a...
Dec 02, 2021•29 min•Ep. 77
"Send Ben a text" "I Feel Like I'm Losing Control!" One of the things that I hear the most from parents is, . . . . . . "I feel like I'm losing control!" The next thing they tell me is, . . . . . . "I don't know what to do!" If you're like most parents, you've probably experienced this before and felt completely out of control and lost as to what to do about it. If you're like most parents, this probably leads to fighting, arguing, and power struggling with your teen, and it's NO FUN AT ALL! One...
Nov 25, 2021•17 min•Ep. 76
"Send Ben a text" Put On YOUR Oxygen Mask FIRST! If you're like most parents, you've been guilty of putting everybody else's needs above your own. If you're like most parents, you've probably bragged about some of the sacrifices that you've made for your children. Sacrificing for your loved ones isn't the problem. The problem is when you take care of the needs of others at the expense of your own needs. This is a huge problem because if you don't take care of your needs, who will? If you don't t...
Nov 18, 2021•22 min•Ep. 75
"Send Ben a text" I Love November! I love Halloween, which is the day before November. I love Thanksgiving, and I love when my birthday falls on Thanksgiving. I love the fall, the leaves, the cool/changing weather, and I love everything about November. And, I especially love the focus and extra push when it comes to gratitude, appreciation, and giving thanks. The Power Of Gratitude I believe that gratitude is a simple, yet powerful emotion. There are some positive emotions that some people strug...
Nov 11, 2021•15 min•Ep. 74
"Send Ben a text" If You Want to Stop Yelling At Your Teen, Stop Yelling at YOURSELF! Okay, so this might be a stretch. You probably don't "yell" at yourself out loud, but be honest, how do you speak to yourself on the inside? How often do you "yell" at yourself in your head? How often do you tell yourself that you're "not good enough", or that you "should have done better"? The truth is, if you want to stop yelling at your teen, you have to stop yelling at YOU! Start treating yourself with kind...
Nov 04, 2021•25 min•Ep. 73
"Send Ben a text" Grades Aren't As Important As We've Been Taught When I was getting close to graduating high school, I was told that I wouldn't be able to go to college due to my poor high school GPA (2.0 something) and my poor ACT score (17). For years leading up to my graduation, I was told that I would have to improve my grades if I ever wanted a job other than digging ditches or some other type of manual labor. For years I was told horror stories about people who had so much potential, but ...
Oct 28, 2021•26 min•Ep. 72
"Send Ben a text" Parenting is Hard, and That's Okay! First off, . . . Go listen to this podcast. This post will not do it justice! I don't plan out my interviews, so it's I also don't write as detailed a post on my interviews. And, YES, . . . Parenting can be hard. I love how Tara mentioned that God gives us hard things to do to help up depend on him. Anytime I'm struggling as a parent, or even as an entrepreneur, I like to remember that God is giving me these struggles to remind me to depend o...
Oct 21, 2021•43 min•Ep. 71
"Send Ben a text" Are You and/or Your Teen Emotionally Healthy? It's unfortunate that when most people refer to "Emotional Health", they are actually referring to the lack of emotional health. I hear people saying things like, "They have some emotional health issues," or, "They are struggling with emotional health." But, who actually knows what emotional health is? When I ask teens, "What do you think Emotional Health is?" they usually tell me one of two things. Either, #1 "It means you're happy...
Oct 14, 2021•29 min•Ep. 70
"Send Ben a text" You Can't Stop Thinking! Because you are human, your brain is constantly at work, whether you are awake or asleep, whether you are concentrating or daydreaming, your brain is constantly thinking. The goal of coaching isn’t to turn off your brain or to even control your thoughts. The goal is to be able to be aware of your thoughts and to have the power to manage your thoughts. You CANNOT control all of your thoughts. There are Different Types of Thoughts This is not an all-inclu...
Oct 07, 2021•30 min•Ep. 69
"Send Ben a text" Do You Know What Your Values Are? If you are like most people, you have a pretty good idea of what your personal values are, but I'm guessing you don't really spend a lot of time thinking about it. Sometimes when I work with teens who think that they have no values. Everyone has values, but most people don't take the time to identify them or really even think about them. That's okay, but it can sometimes be hard to know exactly what your values are. Sometimes we think one thing...
Sep 30, 2021•30 min•Ep. 68
"Send Ben a text" What If You Were The Perfect Parent? I asked this the other day in one of my Impact Parenting Group calls. This idea of "perfect" parenting kind of shook the zoom room. There's so much shame around the word "perfect". Most parents just believe that they aren't perfect and that they aren't good enough. If you're like most parents, you believe this too, and it leads to shame, worry, and fear. BUT, . . . . . . What if YOU were the perfect parent? What would that change in your lif...
Sep 23, 2021•16 min•Ep. 67
"Send Ben a text" How To Make Parenting Simple! #1 Define Your Role! One of the things that makes parenting harder that it needs to be is Not knowing your role! If you don't know what your role, or purpose, is as a parent, everything feels like a battle. When you don't define your parenting role, you get tossed from one roll to the other. It's hard to be intentional when you don't know what your role is. #2 Only Focus on What YOU Can Control. One of, if not THE, most powerful things you can do a...
Sep 16, 2021•26 min•Ep. 66
"Send Ben a text" Principles of Being a Relationship Hero #1 Be 100% Responsible for YOUR Relationship with Them If you're like most people, you've blamed your relationship on the other person in the relationship. "If my teen would . . . " "If they would start . . . " You are responsible for how you feel towards the other person in your relationship. Relationsponsibility (Joey's made up word) #2 Relationship Hero vs Relationship Victim Victims and sidekicks have to rely on somebody else. Save yo...
Sep 09, 2021•17 min•Ep. 65
"Send Ben a text" Choose to Love! What a pleasure to interview Bonnie Lyman from Bonnie Lyman Coaching! When I interview people, I like it to be natural and unscripted. So, to be completely transparent, I don't plan out my interviews, which makes it harder to make show notes. So, if you want to get all of the amazing teachings that Bonnie shared, make sure that you listen to this episode. These show notes don't do it justice. I love that she taught us that you have to CHOOSE LOVE! I think that s...
Sep 02, 2021•51 min•Ep. 64
"Send Ben a text" I LOVE Football! First, I want to say that I LOVE football! It really helped me as a struggling teen, and even as an adult, football plays a beneficial part in my life. Lessons I've Learned So Far that You Can Use with You and Your Teen! Feedback is important! This is the first year that I've coached with this set of coaches. One of the things that I've noticed that sets the best coaches apart from the others is their ability to give consistent feedback! The coaches who are mos...
Aug 26, 2021•29 min•Ep. 63
"Send Ben a text" Stress is Impacting EVERYONE These Days! This DOESN'T Have To Be A Bad Thing! What You and Your Teen Can Do! Here are a few things that you and your teen can try to help you gain some power and control over your stress and anxiety. Gain some awareness when it comes to stress and anxiety. Most people avoid feeling stress and anxiety, and because they avoid it, they never fully experience it, and they never truly become aware of what's trully going on. To gain some awareness arou...
Aug 19, 2021•25 min•Ep. 62
"Send Ben a text" How to Be Intentional With Your Interpretations. First , you have to be aware of what your interpretations are. To do this, practice awareness throughout the day. When you notice an interpretation, identify and label it. "This is an interpretation." Thought downloads are also powerful tools to help you identify your interpretations. Any time you find yourself saying things like, "It's not fair," "My teen's lazy," "I'm not good enough," or "This is bad." These are all interpreta...
Aug 12, 2021•23 min•Ep. 61
"Send Ben a text" YOU Have the Power to BE the Change Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change. They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves. You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you change YOU! 3 Reasons Why Being the Change Is SO Powerful #1 You Become the Hero! When you commit to BEing the chan...
Aug 05, 2021•22 min•Ep. 60
"Send Ben a text" We Are Designed To Follow Patterns Our brain is designed to identify and create patterns. We do this in an effort to conserve energy, increase our chances of survival, and make life easier. This isn't a bad thing. So many of the things that we do are based on patterns that we've picked up. Many of these patterns help us be healthy, productive, and happy humans. There are, however, patterns that do not serve us. Have you heard the story of the mother who cut the end off the ham ...
Jul 29, 2021•21 min•Ep. 59
"Send Ben a text" What are Habitual Beliefs? Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you're like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you've thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously. Most people believe their habitual thoughts are actually fact or truth. When this happens, you start to incorporate your habitual beliefs as part of your identi...
Jul 22, 2021•26 min•Ep. 58
"Send Ben a text" 100% Responsibility = Power We live in a world that often refuses to be responsible and to take responsibility. As a result, it's common to blame others. Lately, in my own life, I've been extra aware of the blaming that takes place around me, especially when I'm guilty of doing the blaming. I've noticed two things over and over, . . . #1 Blaming positions you as the victim, every time! #2 Taking 100% responsibility empowers you, EVERY TIME! What is 100% Responsibility? First of...
Jul 15, 2021•26 min•Ep. 57
