Igniting the Beauty Within: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Authentic Living with Tara Marino

She is a French clothing designer or was , I'm not sure you still do that and she is a mentor for women . She helps them return to the truth of their souls . She helps us identify our soul led focus .

I love this so much , and she has programs and works with women in such a beautiful , unique way that I have not yet encountered with anyone else with whom I have spoken in . Get ready to dive in , because the minute I opened her website , I felt like I was transported to Paris .

We were meant to connect , to share your words , to connect however it was meant to be , and I'm grateful for that .

If it's lighting candles and making croissants which is what I did for my husband and I this morning or sitting and reading with a sun on my face , it's that permission to really slow down and ask my soul . What is my soul seeking to experience ? Ask my body . What is my body really truly required today ?

It's getting out of that idea of overly being structured and to really ask myself what is it that makes me feel alive ?

Push it back because so many women in particular , we feel we have to achieve do instead of be , and I love how you listen to your soul calling for that day in that time . Such wise words for everybody listening yeah .

What are the results that are going to prove to you that you are XYZ right , successful , whatever it might be ? And it's very , very tempting because the external world can give us a lot of accolades that our ego really loves , like oh , I did this , I made this much money , I did this thing , and it's not that any of those things are bad .

But without the I have found for me , without the true resonance of where I'm residing inside of myself as I move through life , the results , the achievements , they don't , they don't mean the same thing , there's not a level of fulfillment . So , instead of going into , you know , what is that end result ?

For me , what's really supportive is you know , the beautiful life starts with a beautiful day Am I , on a daily basis , moving through my life in a way that reflects to me my beauty , my truth ? And that does not mean that every day is pretty . It doesn't mean that every emotion is pretty .

You know there are days that are , you know , like for all of us , that are really intense , or you know that we want to be different . But if we can trust the unfolding of the commitment to , can I give myself permission to live into my beauty and truth , no matter what that . That's the game changer for me personally .

Isn't she a pretty little thing , beauty ? And then there's that beauty is only skin deep . And you're an adolescent and I'm talking to women , because I believe most of my listeners are women and you're prepubescent and you certainly do not feel beautiful .

You know there's standards of beauty that are put upon us as we're teenagers and 17 Magazine came into your life and you're like well , I don't look like that . Clearly I'm not beautiful and I really think that the word beauty needs to be taken apart a little bit . What is your perception of beauty ?

So , as an example , I remember this so clearly I think I must have been like like three or four , honestly , and we were at my grandma's for a Christmas party and my mom had me in this red velvet dress so cute and underneath the dress I was wearing white tights with rustles on the butt . Well , for me , these tights were the everything of the everything .

So I was going around the whole party showing everyone the tights , like , forget about the dress , I don't look at the tights , they're so cute I love . Look at the beauty , like I loved it .

I don't know what I was saying , but I was definitely showing and I remember the , my perception of the reflection from people with put your dress down , what are you like ? This was . There was a feeling on me that I interpreted interpreted , excuse me , as like this is shameful , like I shouldn't love this beautiful thing . This is , this is .

There's something wrong . And I went through as a young girl judging myself for that , judging myself for the beautiful things that I loved , judging myself for the beautiful things I desire , judging myself for the way I wanted to feel beautiful moving through .

So I would overcompensate once I got into junior high , high school , I'd overcompensate by people pleasing , because I didn't want anyone to think I was selfish , because I loved beauty . So I would go to the other extreme to try to balance this feeling inside of me .

So I'll tell you what changed my life around beauty and gifted me such a level of freedom and liberation . Because , yes , I think that the majority of us feel safe in the world . The beauty is only the beauty . Internal beauty is okay . Internal beauty is safe . Internal beauty makes you you know you're good .

But the external beauty can be , can be challenging , I think . So the quote that changed my life was a quote by John Keats . He says beauty equals truth and truth equals beauty . That is all ye on earth need to know . So for me , beauty is whatever's authentic to us in our expression .

It doesn't matter if it's a Celine handbag or a shell on the beach , or a sunset , or your child's hug , or this expression of truth . Inside this permission , we can gift ourselves to feel that sacredness of appreciating something that we find beautiful , without any limits . No compartmentalization , it's not okay .

This is okay to be beautiful , but this isn't okay to be beautiful . It really is taking the training wheels off completely and trusting ourselves to commune with beauty .

I love beautiful linens . I love beauty . I think we put that on ourselves as that's a bad thing . Oh , that's shallow . And these poor women who are , or men who are , transgender , or women who are trans , who grow up saying you're not beautiful or you're not beautiful . That poor . Their truth is beauty . Their beauty is in something else .

I just so much lands around that and my take is that you , through your work , are encouraging women to own their own beauty . Before we continue on to that because I'm not sure you know this , but in most of my listeners know that I'm a fashionista , fashion's my thing , it is .

And share because it's all over your social media , it's all over your page , it's not a secret , but share that pivotal moment because it's just so heart wrenching .

You know we all don't have the same exact experience in our lives , but I know , I really know , that we all have experienced a feeling of loss and ache , a grief , like that defining moment where we literally question life . We question our own life why am I here ? How do I move on ? Where do I go from here ?

So for me , that moment was when I had my first born son and I wanna say , like from a very young age I was asking kind of esoteric questions of myself like what will I be ?

I really do wanna live fully . It was in me and yet when I was younger , I associated that feeling with a little bit of burden , like I gotta get it right . What's my passion ? What's my purpose ? Like so , when I got pregnant , I was like , oh , okay , god , it all makes sense . I'm gonna be a mother . Okay , check my purpose . We're good , we're good .

I feel so relieved . I know my purpose now . So , as fate would have it and learning would have it and evolution would have it , my firstborn son passed away in my arms and I was furious with God . I was furious with life . I hated myself . I hated my body , I hated life . Forget about even getting next to me if you were pregnant .

Like I couldn't , I just it was such a dark year for me . I mean to be so vulnerable with you and the listeners and myself , like that year I put myself to bed with ambience , xanax , a bottle of wine , whatever I could to get through that ache .

And it was about a year , literally to the day that my son , mason , passed away , that I was sitting with paperwork from a lawyer where I could have filed a lawsuit , and I remember , like , screaming , like why me , why me ? And in the you know , depending on where we ask the question , and we're gonna get that answer .

So my ego could find a bunch of reasons why I deserve to be punished , like a bunch . I had an abortion when I was 17 years old , I all sorts of reason , right , it's like that's why you and that's I'm like okay , this is this is this is why I deserve this .

And I heard this subtle voice say stop asking why , stop asking why , tara , and start asking how , like ? How are you ? Like you're still here , how are you gonna respond to this ? Like where are you going from here ? And the most movement I could make in that moment really truly was like how are you gonna be a good mom to Mason ?

That was as far as I could get Like where are you going from here ? And it was that , that moment that literally changed everything for me . That was the opening of the FEM types . That was the opening of me , even considering that I would trust myself to keep on living . I mean it was .

It was that moment that changed everything and gifted me the courage , little by little , right , I don't wanna paint a picture for anybody that it was like . Now we have a you know eight figure business and this was a really deep devotional of day by day connecting with myself , and this is where the FEM types were born .

This was the voice of the indie that I heard initially , and from that point forward I started journaling and asking God for guidance , for reflection . Show me what's mine , where do I go from here ? What is this that's being birthed through me ? And that's why I do say it was remarkable .

I thank Mason every day for the sole contract that we have , and you know his birthday is actually coming up shortly . I don't know when this is all gonna air , but his birthday is next week and my birthday's the following day . So every year it's quite impactful and intense to remember this defining moment and , like I said , we all have them .

They all look different , but we all have those moments where you know life can bring us to our knees and we decide you know how we're gonna move forward from there . So that's how it all began .

When Mason was passing away in my arms and I was saying goodbye to him , I did say can you just please give to me a healthy brother or sister Like I ? Just he died from pneumonia in my arms .

I know that the mother , I am today the woman , I am today the wife , I am today the leader , the soul , like it's completely changed me Of course , of course , as you said , it's a soul contract for those of us who believe that .

I looked up on you know I had to do it . I'm like , oh my gosh , are those your gowns ? That there's a little YouTube video in your fashion week 2014, . I think Like I want to wear that and I want to wear that and I want to wear that . You have so many .

I mean , did those things intersect , I guess , you being a fashion designer and also coming up with this remarkable program to help women ?

So how it began is I was journaling and I was feeling these like different parts of me coming through and I would sketch lingerie and start to wear lingerie that had these different aspects or essences inside . So my indie was very calming . It was a lot of cashmere kind of feel , very soft , and I felt connected to my truth . I felt my beingness .

I felt like that deep in her , knowing that no matter what was happening , I was okay and I called that aspect my indie and then I started playing with the Frenchie . Right , this is like after my son died , I felt so disconnected from life . I really felt numb . I didn't associate with pleasure , I didn't even want to look at my body .

I had a C section scar . I had a breast , a free-throughful breast milk . I had been breastfeeding Like I hated my body . So the essence of even just taking a shower , putting lip gloss on , like moving my body , I could feel my Frenchie coming alive . So my Frenchie expression would be lingerie with body image .

It was relationships and these started to develop over time . And then my New Yorker , which came a little bit later . It wasn't all like one afternoon , it was really this consistent conversation every day .

There was a sense of power , there was a sense of prosperity in the activation of my New Yorker actually started with creating a business plan for what was called the pretty panty line . It's just something like can I create something in the world ?

So these were the basis of the fan types and I just started to interact with them every day , like am I honoring my India ? Am I honoring my Frenchie ? Am I honoring my New Yorker ? It was very simple and it wasn't for anybody else but me . And over time other women started to ask me well , what are you doing ?

Because not only are you not the same woman when Mason died , but you were not the same woman as even before you got pregnant with Mason . So what is actually going on ? I started coaching women who had lost children naturally , and just sharing with them . They would say , well , what are you doing ? How are you moving through ?

And I'd say , oh , why have my fem ? You know what's my femtile ? I was calling the three women . I'm like I had these women , I have the indie , frenchie , new Yorker . There are no , these femtides now , after years later , but you know , and they said , well , you have to share those with me . Tell me , how is this happening ? What's happening ?

And then from there , I just started coaching women who had lost a sense of identity , who were feeling separate from their truth in any way . And that's really how it all started .

All of it , I mean I'm secure , and when I say it even I'm like I cannot even I can't even believe it myself because it didn't come from a headspace , it wasn't some cool marketing plan , it was a deep , deep necessity for me to heal myself , and still to this day Now . But 20 years later I mean me , since I'm 22 , 20 years , 20 something years later .

Every day I connected my FEM types , every single day .

And my understanding is , when they are all in balance is when we are really becoming the true expression of ourselves . And I mean that's a tough thing to do because we live life crazily up and down every single day . Why don't you talk a little bit at this point about the FEM types and the programs and how you kind of work with women ?

Because it's more than just determining your FEM type .

So my fashion line in Paris was born with the external expression of the FEM types , to actually bring the FEM types to life , for us to be able to wear this connection externally .

All right , sorry , let's talk about what you offer , because I'm not sure everyone understands the FEM types and how they work to enhance our lives .

So if we slow down and we look at this , the Indie FEM type being the FEM type that supports us with our being , that connection with the truth of who we are , that , no matter what's happening externally , we can connect with our inner , knowing right , that beautiful opportunity , that , like that , no matter what we know , we're going to be okay .

It's that being essence . So this is the Indie . The Frenchie has everything to do with enjoying , with pleasure , with body image , with relationships .

The FEM type , the Frenchie FEM type , is the one that the majority of the women put on the back burner , like , okay , once my work is done , once I've checked off my to-do list , once I , you know , have proven to the rest of the world that it's okay for me to enjoy , then I will enjoy .

The issue with this is that we know the work is never done Right , never , ever . The to-do list is never complete , the work is never done . So , instead of waiting for the work to be done , we actually prioritize the Frenchie FEM type and this really activates the feeling of being alive , as we talked about a little bit .

So many women especially and I'm sure men too , but so many women especially go through life with this kind of numb feeling , this distance .

They're so used to putting everyone else first , they're so used to putting themselves on the back burner , they're so used to operating in this feeling of people pleasing that they disconnect from what it is that actually brings them pleasure , not just physical pleasure , but pleasure .

Like so many women will come to me and they'll say I don't even know what I want anymore . I've been so busy taking care of everyone else like I don't even know what my desires are . So this is the Frenchie activation and , as far as the New Yorker , power prosperity , really feeling into the alignment .

And what's an interesting thing is that when I first was exploring these FEM types for myself and for years , actually up until two years ago it was the Indians the being , the Frenchies the enjoying and the New Yorker was the doing .

However , about two years ago , sitting with a private client in Portofino and something like was coming through me and I kept saying this word and I was like , oh my gosh , the New Yorkers evolved completely like my own understanding of her , because it's so easy to get stuck in the doing .

And so the New Yorker full expression is not the doing , she's the allowing . And this is such a beautiful , really energy frequency for us to feel into . As a woman , we're so used to the performance energy , to the hustle energy , to how do I do it , what do I need to do ? Just tell me and I'll do it .

And so riding on the essence and the foundation of allowing inside of the New Yorker really does open up a whole new level of freedom for us to then take the aligned action . So those are the FEM types the India , the Frenchie and the New Yorker and that's how we operate inside of them and it's not about , you know .

Women will sometimes say to me well , do I need like a 33.3% balance ? This isn't the energy . It's not a stress when women take the FEM design assessment .

What it does is it highlights which FEM type you're predominantly operating in and gives you a really easy bird's eye view of wow , these are the other two FEM types that have pockets of power that I'm not currently utilizing .

So what does that look like for me to actually invite these other two FEM types into my life and feel a level of support Right For women . We have a hard time receiving support typically and we do the same thing with the FEM types will operate in one and not receive the support of the other two .

Obviously the percentages change , for sure where we are or how we're evolving , and it reminds me , it brings to mind the Ayurvedic types , the Doshas , how we need to get them all in balance .

Yes , we are primarily one , but to be a wholly integrated being marrying all three , and I love this because it gives us the opportunity to take stock and play with it , and this is my take on it .

I think I'm going to be more New Yorker today because I am going into this meeting and I want to wear my yeah , balls to the walls hat and just get shit done . And then I may want to be the Frenchie and feeling a little more romantic and elegant and softer .

And then the indie is where I lay today , knowing that there is always something around the corner that's great and wonderful and a magic and a synchronicity which , to me today , I found with you and I , just in the short time , my research do .

Over the past few days I could feel myself not changing but aware , because we want women to be aware of where they are and how they can positively move forward Should they so desire to reach that beauty .

We have an essential structure for the modern woman where we move through indie indie energy in the morning , then Frenchy , then New Yorker energy , and then unwind from New Yorker Frenchy indie . It's this beautiful , authentic flow that allows us to utilize these aspects in a very , very natural way .

So , for an example , the majority of women are waking up and grabbing their iPhone , responding to emails , wanting to get ahead of the day and putting themselves actually what we would call in a phone New Yorker energy instead of a receiving energy , which is the indie femme type .

Or , after dinner , opening up their laptops wanting to get just a little bit more work in at the end of the day , which then activates again a phone New Yorker instead of unwinding into the indie .

So , yes , there's certain circumstances when we're going to want to , you know , access one particular femme to feel the resonance , but really moving through this day and being and each day and being aware of ? Have I touched on these ? Am I allowing these to move through me ? Am I really moving through the awareness of who I'm called to be today ?

Am I moving into the enjoyment ? Am I connecting with my Frenchy and feeling a level of sensuality and beauty and pleasure ? Am I allowing myself to again the allowing ? Am I allowing myself to do the thing that matters the most to me today ?

Because a lot of women misunderstand the New Yorker and they think , oh , this is just going to be all business , what am I gonna do ? Am I get the client this kind of energy ? And it's not this energy , it's being able to connect with what is the most aligned thing for me to do today .

It might be call your mother , it might be prune the roses , right , it doesn't necessarily need to be a business task . We forget the things that are holding energy for us inside and we can have a tendency to put them off , thinking we just have another day .

So once you really activate the New Yorker , you feel this deep connection between the intuition of the indie , the opportunity to enjoy whatever that is that you're moving through , and that courage in the New Yorker to move into the aligned action .

Even if it looks like on the outside , you know it's not going to bring the money or it's not going to like really following that . This is what builds upon . The compounding effect of a beautiful life starts with a beautiful day .

Thank you for clarifying that Because , as I said , I've not gone through your programs , I'm only going through my investment of it , and yeah , and it's good for me to hear too , because there are so many nuances of it and it's it's not like there's no way to get it wrong . Right , it's here to support women in whatever way they intimately and uniquely connect .

And yet I share that with you because , also , it's so much more than just like a cute idea , you know . It's like really a way to experience more of who we are . You know , I'm still came to this day like honestly in awe of how this has supported me to create the life that I live . I'm so incredibly grateful it's beautiful .

And then we have our FEM flow list that teaches women how to move through the day in that way that really will honor their unique FEMs . And we have gorgeous programs . We have our Lean Back and Live you Fully program .

We have our body , with so many programs to meet women wherever they are inside of what they're wanting to experience and express on this journey for sure .

Forward slash Kim , if anybody would like to get their quiz results and see which FEM type they're predominantly operating in and just begin to learn more about the FEM types . And you know , the essence of everything inside of elegantfem is that our desires are the impetus to our spiritual evolution .

So , trusting ourselves with our desires , trusting ourselves with beauty , trusting ourselves to receive and allow life to move through us , no matter what's presenting itself , whether it's something that's really good , because we have a tendency to pull away from feeling really , really good , just as much as we have a tendency to pull away from the ache and the pain ,

so it really is allowing ourselves to stay open to what life is presenting and to receive all of it .

You know , I majored in French in college , mastered in French and international business , and I mean I am completely alive when I step foot there and I was fortunate enough , as we talked about , to move there with my family . My boys were raised there . They speak fluent French , no accent whatsoever . It's quite astonishing and they've continued .

They both still speak French . They have French friends . It's like they land back in the city and , you know , they take off just right there . So I love France and I was also blessed to have a fashion show inside of Paris . I had two fashion shows on the runway in Paris and , as we touched on a little bit , it's really the expression of the femme types .

It's bringing consciousness into the clothing and there's clothing that's specific to the Indie , which is really soft , cashmere pieces and joggers and just stuff that you wanna live in . And then there's lingerie pieces for the Frenchie , and we have a beautiful Frenchie cowl neck dress which is just so easy to wear . It's like the perfect little black dress .

And then we have our New Yorker panties , which are a little structured , and you know , it's such a beautiful expression for me to bring the femme types to life and to play in the arena of a fashion .

I mean , I love it so , so much , and it's actually why I brought more of my life coaching to completion at this stage in my life , so that I can pour myself more into the fashion , because I love it so much .

Everything's just really created in beautiful small quantities . I know the manufacturer . I meet with the families in Italy . I see everything being woven Like . It's really important for me to be intentional about all of it and to carry the essence of elegant femme through everything that I do .

I feel like the energy that we infuse into the clothes when the women wear them . I mean , inside of every piece there's a little tag that says I am beauty . And it's not for anyone else to see , it's just for the woman to see . And then we have our top review , which is sold out as well . We're ready to relaunch that .

One more thing I know I'm talking a lot . I'm really excited . One thing I'd like to say to everybody listening that you and I talked about a little bit in the beginning is I don't believe you have to choose one thing in life . You know , one of my coaches early on , one of my mentors , said to me Terra , are you a coach or are you a designer ?

You have to choose . And I was like no , I do not , I'm not choosing . And this is what I think is also so beautiful about the femme types it supports us in expressing all of who we are . We don't have to choose right . Whatever our desires , whatever our expression like , whatever is calling us like , go for it , yeah .

I feel blessed to have had your light and beauty in front of me through the airwaves . I know everyone will be really absorbing it when they listen . Thank you .

So thank you for everything that you're pouring out into the world the fun , the elegance , the reminder that it's never too late . It's just really a stunning vibration and frequency that we all need to be reminded of . So thank you for everything that you're doing .

Thank you Tuning in , of course , of course , of course , as always , you know , I am so grateful and , of course , if you would give us a Senk star rating that would be five in French I would be so appreciative , so that we can really share the light , because the more people that listen and tune in , the more something is going to be ignited within them so

that they can shine their light , and that gives all of us permission to share and shine our own . Thank you , tara . Thank you for beautiful listeners , because you're all beautiful . Oh , I do hope that you will go out and enjoy this day and find the beauty in yourself and in each moment . Thank you for shining .