All right. Here we are . Welcome to today's episode. Hello Fallon. Hi, Abby . today we're gonna be talking about very important topic that as I was telling Fallon before we got on this, I went down to write notes about it and was basically started writing a freaking essay. So, apparently, We have a lot to say on this topic, which is gonna be all about body image today.
Yeah. I think we both have such a deep journey with our own body image as well as guiding women through theirs, that it's gonna be another episode that. We're gonna, it'll be interesting how to tie this up, . I know. How do we, how do we put a bow on this at the end? But cuz it's an
ongoing, it is an ongoing thing. And I guess I will say I didn't write any notes, so this might be something to come back to, but I didn't write any notes necessarily about, um, body image for men. This is really for me, more focused on body image for women. Yes. Um, so I guess I wanna say that in the beginning that this is gonna be definitely more focused towards the women's perspective. . Um, but I mean, one of the things we both touched on is how the patriarchy ties into all of this.
Yes. And I think we could probably both go on for days about the patriarchy, but
Yeah. And we can, you know, we can make the patriarchy as bad as we want. . Um, but we didn't know better than to buy into it. Yeah. So there's also this self responsibility that we get to take that like, okay, yes, this is the pressures that we received from society and the patriarchy and that women needed to act and look and be a certain way to be accepted or, or have value. And also we all unconsciously chose that because we didn't know better.
And now that we know better, , we get to pull that responsibility back and really do our self-love and like really the nurturing of what we most need around body image, because it is such a vulnerable, I mean, even still, you know, I mm-hmm. I think for both of us and for many women, as much as we've really deepened into the appreciation of our bodies, It's still really sensitive and really vulnerable and can bring up a lot.
So as you listen, I think just be really, just notice what's happening in your body as you're listening to this. Notice what's coming up. Mm-hmm. and just, just stay really present and love on you, um, through this, but also. Yeah.
Step into this more. Yeah. Notice the places where you might be buying into things that you don't realize that you're buying into things. Mm-hmm. or the way that you might be noticing a girl on Instagram and you notice that she's really pretty and she's really. Thin or appears to have the best body. And then you look at yours and you know, you have the whole comparison and shame, you know, component playing into that.
Cuz I think that's, that's probably where it, it hits us the most nowadays is in social media, you know, and obviously like in TV and film and all of that stuff, but like social media is a part of our, for I would say, most people's daily life. And it is such a, I mean, it's all kind of a racket, you know, cuz we're all just showing many, oh gosh. I have an aunt crawling on me. Amazing. That, what does that mean? Um,
yeah. Well, and you know, so I'm, I'm a, I'm a Tad bitt older. I'm an early eighties baby, and so my space was really big, you know, when I was in my early twenties and, I remember my girlfriends and I instantly
feeling smaller
as we entered the MySpace world of the MySpace models. You know, there was like Tela tequila and there was all these really, and I remember we would see wow. A name.
Oh, do you? You haven't heard that in so long. Oh, no. I know who I'm talking about, right? Yeah,
I do. I do. So we entered the space in our early twenties. So not only were we raised, you know, eighties, eighties babies, nineties and early two thousands, watching the really skinny models come up. That was
secret models too.
Victoria's Secret being. Right. Mm-hmm. and that, and, and I remember I had a friend that was that skinny, um, and feeling, and gosh, it's so funny to go back and look at pictures of myself, but, but again, buying into the patriarchy, buying into this societal pressure that, like beauty is of any one thing Yeah. Of any one thing that, that is Right. It, it, I, I don't, cause I don't wanna minimize being skinny or, or I don't wanna make that bad either, but, right.
But long story short, coming into the MySpace world, I remember we were all. Oh my God, the women are so beautiful. And it was the first time that we felt everyday women like ourselves. Right? Because it, like you said, TVs and movies are one thing, magazines are another thing. But then to log onto a space where quote unquote regular people existed like ourselves and we felt we did not compare at all. Mm-hmm. , that really exacerbated a lot of my own.
Body image things or my own desire to be seen as a beautiful, in shape, whatever that meant at the time. Mm-hmm. , you know, woman to, to be of value, to feel like men could. Like me or women could want to be me. And it was so unconscious, you know? Bless my sweetheart, but, but it's only gotten bigger since then. And I think we've made a lot of strides in social media recognizing that. But man, that first introduction was, it
was rough. I mean, and we have made a lot of strides, but there are still, I mean now it's the rise. All of the different kinds of plastic surgery that you can do. Oh my gosh. To achieve these different looks. And from you talking about like the MySpace stuff, like for me it was, it was growing up and seeing, you know, the Victoria's Secret Angels, like the show is the fashion show. Mm-hmm. and being like, well, I do have that body type.
I'm like tall and thin and I have big boobs and whatever, all of that stuff. But being like, but I'm still not skinny enough, or my stomach has. Like any fat on it. So like I, that makes me not, I'm not good enough. I'm not like skinny enough. Like I shouldn't, like, I don't feel comfortable in my body because I don't look like that. Like I could look like that if I tried hard enough, you know, quote unquote.
Yeah. and then all of the things we do in order to, um, try to fit into those malts that you buy into when like your brain is literally still, um, is still forming, you know, and all of these beliefs are getting imprinted. And, and then seeing the people around you who are doing the same things or seeing, you know, your mom or your aunts or you know, other of your friends doing all of the same things and buying in. Like you said, that's all we really knew.
And because as a society and as just human beings, your, your innate human drive is to want to be part of a group and be part of a community. So you're like, if this is what helps me be a part of the community, then I'll do it. You know, because that brings me belonging and that brings me love by people and. all of those things come into play in a really harmful way.
Yes. Can be in a harmful way. Yes. And I think also this desire to be unique and to stand out simultaneously. Mm-hmm. , you know, um, and if I'm this way or I look this way or I have this, then, then I'm also like, I'm, I'm. . I'm unique enough that I don't blend in with the crowd so much that I'm also noticed. Mm-hmm. , you know, or, and there's also the flip side of that. I know that that was more for me, but there's also the flip side of like, I, many people don't wanna stand out.
Like they're like, let me blend, please. Mm-hmm. , the thought of having any sort of individual attention on them is frightening. And so all that to like circle back to, I think one of the first things that really started to shift me in my body image was, I mean, we've talked about this, but honoring our bodies, but also like look in the mirror and what can you change in this moment about it, you know? Mm-hmm.
and what can you, like you, so what, what if you radically just began to accept the smaller boobs or the bigger boobs or the cellulite? Like what if you just went against the grain and been like, you know what? I'm actually just gonna fucking start deciding that I'm gonna love the part of me that doesn't. This part of me mm-hmm. , like what if we started there? Mm-hmm.
, you know, and honoring, and I remember our, you know, old mentor Viola talked about how her self-love and her body image began to shift when she started to think about things at a s cell, cellular, cellular level. I can never say mm-hmm. of like how her cells actually, you know, carried, you know, information and even food and that that mm-hmm. So we all have a different way of what we can start to shift the way that. Relate to being in our skin. Mm-hmm.
. But it's so special to be in this vessel that I feel like if you and I can begin to shift this narrative on some level, I will be a happy woman. You know, if it's one person that walks away from this episode feeling like my, the skin I'm in is so beautiful where it is at now, I will. Happy
. Abby: So Well, and, and like you're saying, it's like the idea of whether or not you, like for me, it's coming at it with a. With a belief of I am, I am like a soul, I'm a spirit who's here to experience like this life right now. And I get this body right now. Mm-hmm. . And so it's like if I'm, if I'm this soul that has this body that has a human body, then like, why don't we make the most of it?
Why don't we like, Show it off and play with it and do fun things with it and like love with it and all of the things instead of like looking in the mirror and hating it every day. You know, it's like, like you're saying, it's in the ways in which like the, the patriarchy, this patriarchal society that we live in, play into it of, you know, because women have so much, like we have so much to offer and, but we get so preoccupied with.
what diet we're on or yeah, what size we fit into or like in, in, in all of the ways that it keeps us from actually reaching the potential that we have. You know, and that's one of the things that I think is, is so interesting about this time is because we see women really stepping up and embracing fully like who they are. And then that's where there's no space. Not loving, you know, your body to really be there. It's like it still will be there, you know?
Cause it's always gonna be, well, hopefully not always, but it's, it's gonna be a thing that we work on, I think for a long time. Mm-hmm. , but I don't remember who posted this, but there was something about like how the patriarchy wants to keep women, basically keep women small and. And so that like they can keep running the world so that like men can keep running the world.
Cuz if you keep women focused on this one thing over here, then they don't have time to actually realize how powerful they are. And like for me, that's where it gets me really fired up to be like, hey. , we don't have to like worry about these things. You're, you're beautiful. Your body is healthy. It can do all of these things. And what else do you have? Like what else do you have to offer The world and Yes. The people in your life, you know? Yeah. Well, yeah. And the wounded masculine, right?
Like when we're talking about the patriarchy, it's not men. Mm-hmm. And, I mean, I know that you, you right. Like, you've got an amazing fiance now. Mm-hmm. , um, who, who supports and all of that. But it's the wounded masculine who is so scared of, of the divine feminine being, coming to rise in her own.
Mm-hmm. her own power. Her own
power, her own trust of self, her own, like what if she actually loved herself? And the thing is, I actually think underneath a lot of this, like as we're talking, cause I'm, I'm tuning into different energies, right. Of like mm-hmm. of women that I know and old clients. of. , it actually feels dangerous to decide that you are going to love your body and celebrate your body. Mm-hmm. because then who are you in that, right? Then you're not playing small.
And then, yeah, it goes back to like what you said, then what if I'm not accepted and people think I have a chip on my shoulder? So there's also the flip side of subconsciously it might be the way that you are trying to stay relatable. Yeah, of course. You know, um, safe and all of these things, but. . And, and I also agree with you, it's going to be a journey, like as much work as I've done on my body image and I feel very comfortable in my skin and my weight still fluctuates. Mm-hmm.
quite a bit. Mm-hmm. , I mean, I fluctuate about seven pounds, give or take, depending on what's happening, right? Mm-hmm. , um, I've come to a place of real, a lot of acceptance and then even their spaces where I'm still like, oh, I wish I had bigger. You know. Mm-hmm. , I mean, it will probably always kind of be there, but I get to love on the part of me that wishes for more. Mm-hmm. and then love where I'm at cuz can I change it? Sure. I could go get plastic surgery.
It's just never felt aligned for me. Mm-hmm. personally. Um, so it is a journey of, of loving where you're at, but deciding that, like you said, we're actually like this is our one life. Mm-hmm. . . This is our one life in this vessel. Right, right. And whether you believe this iteration of it, yes. This iteration, this energetic signature, this is the vessel that we actually chose. Mm-hmm. because there was an experience that we wanted to have as a soul in this human body.
How fucking incredible is that, right? Yes.
And so, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say, and like all of this time that. We waste caring, caring about these things that are, I mean, and God bless us, like we're so human, and it's just like such a fucking thing that everybody, like we all do. Yes. You're like, oh, I just, I wanna feel like, whatever. And, and that's what I mean, that's different.
I wanna feel a certain way versus, I wanna look a certain way, but it reminds me of like, you know, like in mean girls and she's like, I wanna lose three pounds. You know? Yeah,
yeah. But the feeling and the looking are, are related, right? Yeah. If we look a certain way, then we're gonna feel a certain
way and it's not guaranteed. Right. and, and like you bring up, you know, being newly a and that's bringing up that it's like then all of. You know, all of these dif these weird beliefs in for me come rushing back in and like the whole phrase of like, oh, shedding for the wedding and like, needing to get in the best shape of your life or your wedding. And I'm like, Hmm, do I actually believe this? I mean, do I feel pretty good? Like where I'm at now? Yes. Do I have a desire?
Is there a desire still within me to feel and look a little bit? If I'm being honest. Yes. Yeah. And being like, okay, but am I not loving myself now as I am? No, I'm not. I mean, yes, I am still, and no, I'm not, not loving myself. Right. Yeah. I gotcha. But it's interesting.
when like you get confronted with these things and then you're like, oh wait, and if I hadn't done this work, it's like you could easily see yourself going into that mind spiral of like, okay, well like what workout plan do I wanna get on? Or like, maybe I should start like this one diet so I can really feel and look like my skinniest and my whatever. Cuz like I am gonna be in all of these photos and I wanna look a photo, like I want the photos to look good.
and it's like immediately when like these, like life events and now it's like, it triggers like, okay, no, I don't know, I don't know about these beliefs. Like let me re re decide like what are the ones that I really am believing in in this moment? And it's, you know what, maybe I want to.
Just get back into, into better routines because I mean, the other part of this too, that I'm sure I'll mention more in these episodes is that we've been traveling for the last two years, and so it's like just being in a healthy routine in terms of the kinds of foods that I'm eating and the movement that I am engaging in, you know, has been a struggle at times because mm-hmm.
you wanna be able to, Be in different places and experience all the foods and, but, and sometimes like the foods that you normally eat just aren't available in other countries or other places. And yeah, so it's more of like, okay, well while I'm here, how do I want to. Nourish myself in the best way possible versus how do I want to get as skinny as possible so that I look the best on the day? Yes. Nourishment, you know, over everything. Yes.
What does that mean over everything feel like for you? What does nourishment mean to you as an individual? Unplug from social media, unplug from everything around you and tap into your body and yourself and ask what does nourishment mean for me? And what does that look like? Because it's not gonna be just, just what you eat, right? A diet is not something you're on and off. A diet is, is a way of life. Mm-hmm.
. Um, but, but something I also, as I'm listening to you speak, it reminds me it was just only a couple days ago. and I, and I, I mean, and I've been doing this on and off, is reminding myself that I am a miracle. Like I look at my daughter mm-hmm. , because I will, I will reflect back to you or share with you when you become a mother. The same thing happens is, is the quote unquote bounce back. Like how, especially if you've already been in shape when you had before you've had a child.
You have a child, you're like, oh, there's this bounce back and or get
your body. Yeah, it's, it's like it doesn't lose it.
Yeah. It's still here. And it just formed life over 10 full moons, so. Right. And I pushed it out and I did all the things and I breastfed and I had the, you know, you get the, the baby blues and like, there's so much that we're just focused on the superficial of, I have more worth in society if I can get my pre-baby body back. And it's like, what does that even mean? Because you're never gonna be pre-baby again. Right. You're always gonna be post-baby. Mm-hmm.
. And so as much as I like didn't wanna buy into that, I could feel myself it, because it took me probably a solid year to lose, like last 10 pounds. And I would dance in and out of permission and shame and permission. Right. And, but that's the road. Mm-hmm. , that's the road of like, really can I love myself where I'm at? and then nourish the shame of like, okay, there's that pressure, that internal pressure that somehow mm-hmm. , I have it more together if I get my baby, pre-baby body back.
That
somehow I, and what does it mean about you if
you don't and if you don't? Especially where I've been in, you know, at the time I was a CrossFit gym owner and mm-hmm. , so I had to really watch and like, it's the same thing you're doing, you're watching these stories come up that we've got into mm-hmm. for so long and. I don't know that I wanna buy into that anymore, and recognizing that as the stories come up, it's just the activation of the nervous system. It's just an act. The nervous system is just awakened by something.
Yep. It's not a fact of anything. Exactly. It's just feedback. It's it's facts over, it's just feedback. Exactly. And coming back around as I look at my daughter, you know, she's five and a half now, and every day I'm just like, gosh, you're a miracle. Like in my, in my being, I'm like, she's such a miracle and not, you know, and I'm a mom and I yell and I lose my shit and I, you know, I'm very human mom, but, , I realized through this process is I am also a miracle. Mm-hmm.
. And then if I can begin to view myself as a miracle. So I went to the beach the other day by myself and I chose to look at everybody on the beach as a miracle. Mm-hmm. , Abby: because they are, yeah. I love that. and how can we tap back into that truth that you sitting in front of me here on Zoom together, you're a miracle. Mm-hmm. , I mean like Really? Yeah. And I get to see you in that.
Yeah. And it's like what we were talked about before we started recording . It's like, what have you started every day being like looking in the mirror, being like, damn, girl, you're a fucking miracle. and like what and how would life be different if that's like the way that you started it and if you looked at your body being like, and you're a miracle and your, those legs that carry me to all the places I wanna go is a miracle of the arms that I have to like lift up my daughter.
Wow, you're a fucking miracle. I mean, it's like things like that where, because not every. Has that, and like you see, we all get those stories and you see those like stories about people who, you know, just don't have, don't have the full health or they, they lose limbs or just all of the different ways in which like, we forget that we are a miracle and you need, it's like you need reminders all the time, but what if that's just how you lived your life knowing.
And Yeah. Or at least, or at least introducing yourself to it in the beginning. Yeah. Even if you don't know it, what if I just gently sit down to coffee or tea with the fact that I might be a miracle? Yeah. What if I just gently let that come in and, and you know, something that you and I, I know together that is so important. That is the most abundant is our health. Mm-hmm. . , you know, and that looks, everybody looks, if I comp compare, you know, I'm five seven. Mm-hmm.
, roughly 160 pounds, which really, the numbers are nothing but just some sort of context to, to mm-hmm. , to, you know, whatever, how I show up in this gravity of earth. Right, right. But if I growing up, I would've probably compared myself to you. Mm-hmm. , the tall, angelic blonde. . Mm-hmm. with big boobs and, and just, and also, I mean, you're just so radiant and so beautiful on the inside too, right? I mean, you are, but it's how.
also like how asinine of my five seven Burnett's self, right. With an athletic body to compare myself to the long lean Abby. Right. It it's just your, that is your expression in the world. Mm-hmm. , which is so important in the miracle, and this is my expression, which is so important in the miracle.
Right, exactly. And that, and all of that being. I would be the same way on the other side because we always want the things that we, we always covet, like the things that we don't have, instead of like looking down and being like, damn, this is pretty fucking amazing here. You know? Yes. And cuz I could look at you and be like, oh wow. Like somebody who actually can have like, Muscles, what would that be like? . ? Yeah. Who looks like really strong and, and has like a butt.
I'm like all of the, you know, like Jameson and I will talk about this all the time, and he'll be like, well, you know, if you like, this is, you know, classic man thing to say too. Being like, well, you know, if you there, you could like build it up. And I'm like, yeah, I could, but like, it'll never. I could do it in a way that like was healthy and, but like, is this my body type? Not really sure.
I could make it, I could make it more muscular, but like, is it ever, it's not, it's never gonna be what somebody else's is and what is the,
the energy you would be doing it from? Yeah, the energy of you. So it's one thing like. . I love to lift weights and work out because there's, there's a, a moving meditation in it for me. Mm-hmm. , there's a connect to my power where I have always been a little bit more of a pleaser and played small in a lot of different ways. Mm-hmm. , there's a connection to my power in it.
Um, , Fallon: but I would also be lying if I said that there weren't times in my life where I did it from, I need to do this because I'm not enough now and this will help me feel like enough. Right. So it's really tapping into the energy in what you're doing. It's like if you wanted to go and build a butt, a bigger butt than what you have now. Yeah. Then sure. If that was like something that was like, uh, this feels that you felt very important to me.
Yeah. Because, because like it for a reason that wasn. You know, I need to do it for somebody else or to meet some, some outside
standard, or it's gonna make you happier, you know, whatever. Right? Like in, in a false sense. Happier than, yeah. Than no. So it's also tapping into the energy in which, why, why are we choosing right. , why were we choosing what we're choosing? And I shared this in my Instagram stories, I think it was yesterday. Cause I'm on, you know, I'm on this candy to cleanse. Mm-hmm. . And a lot of people are asking me about it because I did talk about having weight loss.
But the more important story in this was my own weight stories coming up. Yeah. My own, my, it wasn't about the, the weight loss. That is a natural side effect when you're consciously cleansing, when you're doing any cleanse. Mm-hmm. . But I'm not doing it for the weight loss. Right. But as I was watching the weight and the numbers changed, I noticed these old deep stories come up around.
How worthy I was to, to feel better in my skin or how worthy I wasn't, or what the numbers meant, and my relationship to these numbers. And so it really grounded me into, um, and I share this in my stories, like if you wanna cleanse, cleanse, but get really clear on what your body actually needs. Get really clear on the energy in which you, why, why you want it. Mm-hmm. , um, if it's just to get skinny, that is to lose weight. It's not gonna ever be sustainable. You
know? Yes, go ahead. No, and I was gonna say like in that same vein with all of this, you know, with all of the wedding stuff happening and feeling. , like, okay, well if I wanna get into more of like a good movement routine for myself, you hear yourself, you hear it in your head being like, well, if I wanted to lose weight, then I would do more hit workouts. Mm-hmm. , or I would do more workouts that were like this, but I'm like, okay, what?
What are the ways of moving that feel really good to me, nourishment and. . Like that's like right now. That's like Melissa Wood workouts. Fucking love her. They're like very like Pilates, yoga, very. The ones that like make me actually tune into my body, feel the energy moving through it, make me feel very grounded, very centered. Do they burn the most calories? No, they do not. But do I wake up? Do I find myself throughout the day noticing that I'm sitting taller?
That like my core feels stronger, that like my whole body is tired, but it's not like it. A different kind of tired and you just feel like, oh wow, I'm using all of my body in this way. That feels really good, but am I focused on like losing weight as quickly as possible or doing all of the things that I know how to do because you know, we all will Being also in the coaching space and in the health and fitness and yeah, we know all the ways to like lose weight in Yes. Quick and unhealthy ways.
Yes. And. And that's not what I'm, that's not what I'm here for. I'm here to feel good. . That's the,
and that's the nourishment, that's the self love. Exactly. That's the, the acknowledgement of, I'm not gonna buy into, I need to burn as many calories as possible, or lift as much weight as possible, or, I'm, I'm actually, this is what I enjoy because of the way that it makes me feel.
Mm-hmm. . And the way that it makes my body feel, like all of my muscles and like, and my, and my mind. Yeah. Like being like, Ooh, I feel grounded. I feel like I've done, like you were saying with lifting weights, like you're doing a moving me like a moving meditation. . That's what it feels like. And
it, it, this all brings me back to what we were talking about before we hit record. always, um, you're right, is, is like Dr. Emoto's work and you brought it up in the form of plants, but like Dr. Emoto, in the way that you speak to water and if you just mm-hmm. , Google, Dr. Emoto and his work with speaking and listening to music mm-hmm. , there's certain frequencies of music. and the way that we speak to water, you actually see it change and it looks very disharmonious. Mm-hmm.
, um, in the negatives, right? Like the negative talk and the negative emo even a negative emotion sent to it. And, and it's done with rice as well, like a rice jar with positive talk. And, and I think you said, um, plants as well,
right? Yeah. With plants. There was like this experiment where, you know, people. They talk to their plants and they're like, oh my God, you look so beautiful. You're blooming. I can't believe how fast you're blooming. So many, like so many more flowers this time. And then there was another plant that you were talking to that you were like, God, you're such an ugly plant. You're just all of these horrible things.
And like that plant died even though it got the same amount of sunlight and the same amount of water, and have the same soil, but the one that you. Like spoke to you with compliments and just like encouragement and so it's like, imagine you looking in the mirror every morning being like, you're so ugly, versus wow, you're a miracle. And like imagine yourself speaking like you're saying like Biola to every cell in your body being like, you are such a miracle.
Oh my God. Like. Thank you for doing all of the, all of the things that you do to keep me healthy, to keep me going and all. It's just such a different energy that you're embodying Yeah. From, from like a baseline, you know?
Yes. I love that. Like building a new homeostasis. Exactly. , and that's something my mentor talks about a lot, is we actually, our homeostasis is actually of divine health. Mm-hmm. peace and happiness and, and anything outside of that is the dise. Mm-hmm. . And to remember that your homeostasis is actually already there to be your healthiest. Itself and the rest of it's a journey, right? Mm-hmm. Of, of the Lakers and all of that.
But, um, there was something I was gonna say to this that you were speaking to with, um, oh, the plants. So I, yeah. I was raised by a hippie mom who talked to her plants, so mm-hmm. , that's something I've always done, is if a plant's dying, start to talk to it. Never really knowing. Right. That there were actual studies out there that that proved this, but mm-hmm.
it. The same goes for, and I'm teach my clients this, and I'm a big proponent of this for a lot of years, is also I speak to, like we talked about Dr. Motos work, I speak to my water every morning. Mm-hmm. and my food when I remember mm-hmm. , like sometimes I don't remember to talk to my food, but also like the way that you speak to living things that you're getting ready to put into your body.
Exactly. Iss huge. Well, and I mean, and this is something that I can't speak of too much, but like in, you know, like Native American cultures, like when you, when you kill an animal, then you like, thank it for giving you life and for like sustaining life in your community, in your tribe and stuff. And even now, like praying over a meal and like giving thanks, like giving thanks to not only the living things that you're going to eat, but the things that sacrifice so that you.
take nourishment from them. But it all comes back to being mindful and giving gratitude for all of the things that help you sustain your own life and honor and honor your body and honor yourself. Right? Yes. And, and I
wanna say too, like as you were talk, as we were just talking about, was listening to you about the, you know, the negative talk and mm-hmm. that we have, it's so subtle. , don't you find that it's really subtle. Like it's not like I don't wake up in the morning and I'm like, Ooh, you ugly. Right? You ugly a bitch. . Yeah. What are you doing? What are, you know, I mean, although I'm sure some people do, so we're laughing, but Yeah.
But our like, I know for me it's always been more of this subtle like, Ugh, that's cellulite.
Ugh. We're like putting a pair of shorts and being like, Ooh, it's a little tight in the waist. Maybe I should eat less. Yes. You
know? Yes. Or making that tightness mean
mean that you, something fucked something up. You ate too much over the weekend, or you shouldn't have done something and then it's, or you're
just chubby. Right. Like that's something I, I would've just gone to be like, I guess I'm just fluffy, or I'm just chubby today. Yeah. And that's uncomfortable and I don't fucking like it. And I'm gonna decide in this moment because of that feedback that I'm not gonna enjoy my body as much today. Yeah. When I could have easily many times decided, Something different like, okay, tight
shorts must be weird today.
Down these shorts.
The short, shrunk overnight. I don know what happens.
Yeah. But its really
up today.
Yeah. What if we didn't never for me blame ourselves? No. Yeah. What if we didn't always blame ourselves? And especially as women we're so cyclical on, you know, a 30 day, 28 day cycle. Right? Like, we're not going exactly feel, we're not meant to feel the same in our body. Mm-hmm. . At all.
Um, but I wanna move into, because I know, you know, you and I could talk about this forever, but I wanna move asking you, what do you feel like has really served you in shifting the way that you view your body or your body image? And what can we leave with our listeners today that, that maybe can help them? Um, I mean, I think we've given them a lot of different perspective for sure, but just on a
personal. For me, for me, it's, it's really what we talked about a little bit, but um, is really finding the ways that you can have fun in your body and just like, and, and taking note of how it makes you feel because like, having fun in your body can, it's like you can try something new that you. Maybe we're afraid to try and then you figure out that you can do something new and that gives you confidence or gives you a lot of different things.
Um, but yeah, like exploring ways to move that feel really good and that ground you, that make you feel really centered, like I was talking about with the, the Melissa Wood workouts, but also like moving in ways that like help you tap into your sensuality and your sexuality and like, I think that the more we can.
Just be more in tune with our bodies internally, the better everything comes out externally because you start to build your worth more with like without all of the external factors, without looking in the mirror and. Looking at the scale, because like you said, it's like we're both completely different. Like your weight, you could have the same weight as somebody else and look completely different. Mm-hmm.
. And like that's always, it's like we've, I think we've learned, now we've gotten to the point that we know that external things will kind of always fuck you up. Yeah. So it's like how can we find that worth internally and yeah. My number one is like finding ways to have fun. Have fun in your body and with your. I
love that and that, yeah, I relate to that a lot. The, the having fun and honoring the body's capabilities. Mm-hmm. , you know, um, like people playing Yeah. And the senses. Mm-hmm. , right? Like, I get to see and I get to smell and I get to hear like I have all of my senses and my intuition. Mm-hmm. . . Um, yeah. And, and the playing, I, you know, and the
laughter, like going back to like childlike, like how, what did you do when you were a kid? Like you ran around, you like threw your arms up, you did full belly laughs. You weren't trying to like look a certain way or pose a certain way that you looked, the skinniest, the skinniest or the tallest or like whatever. You just fucking went full. Yes,
yes. Lived. And I love the, the honoring, like their capabilities, but also getting uncomfortable and learning new things, which develops the confidence. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. And there's a couple things before we close I wanna hit on, cause there was something you said earlier before we started recording that I think isn't really important. Um, but what was I gonna say? Honoring the capabilities. Now I just lost it.
So I'm gonna actually ask you what is it, you sent me something on Instagram a couple weeks ago that I really want you to share
because it was eyeopening for me. Yeah. Alex Light. So I think her, I think her Instagram is Alex Light underscore l d n London. Um, and she is like, um, body positive influencer and she posted this reel that shows how on the same day with different camera lense. Your face looks completely different. So it's like her face went like wider to skinnier, to like just this whole range of like in and out, like from wider to thinner and more chiseled kind of looking.
And it was literally her on the exact same date with a bunch of different lenses. And it's like, this is, and for me, this was like when I was traveling and there would be different mirrors in every Airbnb that we were in. And I could tell that I'm like, oh shit. Did I? Like put on a few pounds, like I feel like this, I look a little bit heavier or wider or like whatever.
And it's just like, this is where these external things can really like fuck with you and why it's so important to find that, that um, that worth internally because yeah, like when I saw that thing with the camera lens, I was like, holy shit, we
need to share that reel. This is crazy. It is so powerful to watch her. Change pretty drastically.
Very like dramatically. Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. Dramatically from, from different camera lenses. Mm-hmm. , and we can all relate to, to that like, I, there's, oh, my, and, and that we instantly feel a, a, a type of way about ourself mm-hmm. based on what that lens is mirroring back to us in like a selfie or, or a picture that was been taken. That has been taken and it's. Again, coming back to ourself.
Yeah, coming back to ourself, trusting ourselves, trusting and, and loving us where we're at now and, and remembering that a camera can catch our essence, but not as much as we can ourselves.
No, exactly. Exactly.
The lens can never really reflect back to us. our full truth. Mm-hmm. and our, the full miracle of who we are. And that a lot of times we, what we were talking about, like the comparison, you know, like growing up I would've been like, oh, I wish I could look like Abby in this way. And you would've been like, oh, I wish I could, you know, with Fallon this way. A lot of times what we feel another person has is also what they actually love about themselves. Mm-hmm.
and what we don't love about ourselves, and it's just the mirror of, she actually is very, she's, she's not insecure about that piece of her, whether it's physical. or like her groundedness, right? Like mm-hmm. you might feel a really grounding power in another woman. Right. And you might feel really not like powerless around her. Right. And it's because it exists as the reminder it exists within
us. Well, and it, and it's the things that I think we covet about other people are the things that are really wanting to be more expressed within ourselves. Yeah. And so, and habited as well in our school. Exactly. Exactly. And I think the more that we can move toward. Recognizing and tuning in with our internal worth, our internal like body worth. And the more we can also recognize it in other women, you know, recognize all of the parts.
Like we always like to say all of the parts outside of just the physical, um, all of the ways that which, and like in which like women come to the table and it's not just their size, it's their, you know, their energy, their presence, their. Confidence. It's their, their intelligence. Their intelligence, their humor. Yes. They're witty things. All the things. Yeah. Their goofiness, their imperfection, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. All of the things that we can honor within each other, I think is the most, one of the most important things. Um, and I did wanna say, just on that note, the, the Ruby Core poem, that is one of my favorites. Let me pull that up, which is I want to. Apologize to all the women that I have called Pretty before. I've called them intelligent or brave. I'm sorry.
I made it sound as though something as simple as what you're born with is the most you have to be proud of when your spirit has crushed mountains. From now on, I will say things like, you are resilient or You are extraordinary. Not because I don't think you're pretty, but because you're so much more than that.
I think that's the best note to leave this on. Me too.
It is. I love you. I love you too. And we love you. We love you. Everyone listening. Yes, we love you, and we'd love to hear anything that this brought up for you. Any experiences that you've had with, with, with playing with your own body image or even, or struggling with it or where you're at in your own journey. We'd love to hear you. We'd love to support you. Absolutely would love to support you
because
we know the road all too well and
thank you. You're advocates of leaving none of us behind.
Exactly. We love all parts of you. Yes. Amazing. All right. Beautiful. Yay. See you guys next time.
Bye. Bye.