I Choose...To Be A Badass with Yvette Nicole Brown, Jenn Tran, and Jackie Tohn

You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. Okay, being a badass isn't just about being cool. It's about blazing your own trail, standing up for others, and using your beautiful voice. Today we are going to jump into an incredible panel of women who are doing just that.

We've got another panel who all right, So these are some women who have blazed some trails, so please help me. Welcome our next panel, which is I Choose to be a bad Ass. So First up, Emmy nominated actor known for her roles in Community and a Black Lady sketch show that the Call Brown Here, I'm Dad.

Dance it up, dance it up.

I love it.

Take it all right.

Next up, TV personality and former Store of the Bachelorette who actually Recidy competed on my alma mater Dancing with the Stars.

Please welcome Jen Tran.

I'm going Lord and the Jen Boots all right.

And last but not least after comic and writer known from the hit Netflix show That Is Awesome. If you haven't seen it, make sure you check it out. It is the show nobody wants this. It's Jackie tom.

Am I walking normal? Am I locking normal?

Here to shave?

I love it.

I leave it to you.

Jenny. All right, Hey, gorgeous girl.

All right, you guys go take it away and say it twenty years.

Oh my gosh, you guys. I love this panel. I love this panel too.

You everybody doing?

How about I thought? Yvett said, what's everybody doing? I was doing a pan just so hustle me somebody doing immediately.

You, guys, what do you think it takes to be a badass start? I think it takes persistence, yes, for sure, willingness to reinvent yourself as much as you want.

Yes, what else? You know, not being afraid to be unliked. And this is coming from a people pleaser. I'm a people pleaser, but the idea of understanding that sometimes you have to make a move that people may not like and it's okay as long as it's the right thing to do, it's okay. I oh, were you about to go? I will step on today.

Yes, you will save the best of real lass to you first, Okay.

Jokes.

So, I feel like something just happened to me yesterday. And I think one of the things that makes me feel badassy is it's really hard to do and it makes me uncomfortable. And I'm still working on it, but advocating for myself. And yesterday was that a rehearsal for something and we had ten minutes and I really needed to focus, and I knew that I would maybe look like a bee if I asked the people four inches

I'm gonna go off of a bad's answer a little bit here, but I'm gonna say going against the green, like don't be afraid to do something that's out of the box, are totally different. I think growing up I was so afraid to do something different than what my peers were doing. And I find that when you do something different, that's when something incredible truly happens. And so I'd say that that's kind of really what's helped me become pretty badass.

I'd say, I agree with you on your bad assess, and I'm so glad you feel badassy.

I would like to congratulate all the women up here on their bad assery.

I can't top that. S TM. I own that now you are the just definition of badass, true, Jenny. You speak your mind, you talk about things that aren't.

Right, you talk about politics.

You're not afraid.

I'm not, you know. I believe in and hear me out everybody. I think that everyone is given a platform for a purpose, right, And so there's some people in the entertainment industry that don't speak up because, oh, I got the job, and I want to keep getting the jobs. I have a college degree and McDonald's is always hiring. So if things go terribly wrong for me because I spoke up about something that matters, then that's fine.

It's fine.

And you have to be at the place where you have to decide, am I going to care about this country? Am I going to care about other people? Or am I only going to care about myself and me and mine. We have to come together and be for all people or none of us are going to make it.

So thank you.

So I use my platform for good.

And this is the thing.

Everybody has a platform. You don't have to have millions of followers. Have a platform. Your platform might be the produce section at your local grocery store. But if you see something, say something and encourage other people to people to do the same. So that's how I live my life.

Yeah. Do you have a lot of badass friends?

Every single one of them, every single one because I think you draw to you who you are, right, So either people need to level up and become someone that cares about others or they're not supposed to be around me because the way I move, you're going to start caring about everybody. If it doesn't work with you're gonna get out of there yourself.

Yes, yes, speaking of badass, you recently got married.

I did.

People. Oh my god, that exclusive in People was gorgeous thing.

I think your handsome husband is here.

He's not here today because we are We couldn't find someone to watch our dog, and we are those crazy people that don't leave the dog home.

Alone.

I love that dog is so like spoiled. So he had to stay home with Harley, but yeah, he was gonna comedy sins his best.

You waited for a while in your life to find the right.

Fits, I'll say a while. Can you say fifty three? Fifty three? I got married at fifty three. And the reason I share my age with people is because one, I think that women have been sold to bill of goods, and we've been told that after thirty five were worth nothing. We've also been told that if you're thirty five and haven't gotten your husband and your kids yet, you're really worth nothing. And I disagree with that, And so I refused to just pick a guy because they said it

So it's fine, that's you choosing you right there.

I chose me. I love that.

What So do you have bad These women are all bad asses. All of you are badasses. I think every single woman is a bad ass. Right, That's why we name this panel badass.

It feels right, it feels right. Yeah, I didn't suggest a change of name.

I read it.

I said these are the ladies on it.

This is crunch you.

You've talked about having type two diabetes, Yes, and turning that around. Yes, share with people how you did that.

You know what we were in the black community, we call it sugar. You got a little bit of the sugar, right, there is a sugar. And we all have seen people that came here with arms and legs and feet and they left here without some of those. They just start cutting off pieces of your body as a diabetes takes over. And I decided that I need my feet. So when the diagnosis came, I was like, let me, maybe I don't need to eat all the donuts when we take a break on Community. Maybe I can just have that

We're talking about longevity. Yeah, yeah, it's what we need to focus on. I think got us absolutely. What about women? So I heard you say that women over fifty, over forty, over fifty, they're overlooked. How do you say that that is changing in today's environment?

You know, I think it changes by things like this, what you're doing your podcast. It changes by women showing up. How many women are here have felt invisible at some point? You know, you're on the air you're getting off an airplane, and they're helping everybody else with their bags, and nobody helps you with yours. No one holds the door for you.

It's the worst feeling. Don't feel invisible.

Exactly, And so you have to then decide yourself, no, I still exist, I'm still here I will vocally. So you're just gonna go get Sally's bag. You're not gonna get mine. I'll say it and they'll go, oh, oh okay, let me. Yeah, I'm a woman too, I'm a lady, so you know, so.

You just have to speak up. But a woman looks at you and she's like, my name is Linda, who's Sally?

Okay, okay, I understood it. I understood Jen.

You were a badass on The Bachelor. Everybody that saw that. You're the first Asian American to represent on the Bachelorette, and you did an amazing job. You are so inspirational. Thank you, Thank you because you turned lemons into lemonade.

Oh I love lemonade so good.

Your life is a lemonade now you killed it on Dancing with the Stars.

Thank you.

It amazing. I was blown away. I didn't expect to see that from you and me.

Neither, honestly, never dance a day of my life. Yeah, never.

It was.

Dancing's very it's very different. It's very vulnerab You got to move your body and your booty and ways that you never moved before. And I've never done that before, so it was very interesting.

You've pushed yourself out of your comfort zone a number of times in the last year. Yes, tell us how important that is.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's so important to push yourself outside of the comfort zone. And I think the reason that is is because I think oftentimes we're so complacent in our lives and we sit around and we're like, oh, why is this happening to me? Why is my life like this? Why is X y Z happening? And I think our life is in our own hands, Like we have the power to change our lives at any moment, and it starts slowly. It's one decision to the next

Day, Jackie, when's the last time you did that?

Put yourself out of your comfort this morning? Never probably never comfortable, Jenny.

I wasn't putting on your suit because I told you backstage how cute you look.

I look so adorable.

I look like, oh, you need to clap you angel babies. I felt like putting this on, I look like a paper doll going on the office, like a toy office worker. Okay, I'm in I'm obsessed with it, but I paper doll office. What I was gonna say about what Jen was saying, damn it, Jackie with the ADHD was the very last thing you said, because I was gonna say to me before I did the alpha bit.

You don't remember either.

You have the power, yes, yes, you have the power. You have the power.

So I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday and we were having a conversation when you have these hard conversations when you feel like someone's your boss but really kind of they work for you, but it's this awkward or whatever.

You work together.

And I remember, remember I when I was more focused on songwriting, I worked with a publisher and he said this sort of cheesy thing, but I think of it almost every single day. And he was just like we would. I was in my twenties, I had nothing going on at no money, and he would constantly tell me I was the CEO. Every he would be like, he would be like, well, what decisions are you making on this?

So you're the CEO.

You're the CEO of Jackie Don't incorporated.

You're the CEO of this song. You're in this room.

It was your idea, you pitch the title, you are the CEO.

What is it?

And then I have chills And it's like to speak to a Jema saying, it's that feeling of you. We feel like everyone else is pulling the strings, and I think in a lot of ways they are, but of the things we can control, It's like I said about that weird story yesterday. It's like, without being mean, I'm the CEO, and I'm asking for a boundary in this situation so I could get done professionally the thing I need to get done. And it's pretty cut and dry.

And one of my friends was.

Backstage with me and she's like, where do you get the balls? And I was like, I don't know, but I'm learning as I get older, you have to fake the ball. So you I have enormous I could barely This took a turn.

Jenny.

I apologize.

You should never have asked you.

No.

You know how much I love you.

What did you ask me to we were talking?

You no I love you. I I wanted to talk to you a little bit about Jewish representation on TV. Okay, because you are killing it, your character is I'm sorry the breakout on that show.

I would never tell anyone you said that, tweeted everybody.

No, No, I'm just kidding.

Don't use Twitter, obviously, delete your account.

My good.

Out here, Get me started. Do you feel proud? Do you feel like I love that representing your culture in a new way that you have it before.

Yeah, you know, I I am very.

Me and.

Also Jewish at obviously, and it feels nice to not have to you know, not every character you play is going to be you years and years ago when it's going on auditions all the time. I did an episode I played like this girl with a drinking problem from the South on an episode of Memphis Beat, and it was so fun and weird, not a big fake accent, and it was just a delight.

And this is the polar opposite of that.

This is a community of people and a crew of people that I'm working with who are valuing my opinion and asking my opinion and making sure that the Jewish representation is authentic, and making sure that the people saying these words make sense saying them, And I got to tell you, it feels real good. It feels it feels fabulous.

My mother is plotzing.

It's a delight. Wait, what does plotzing mean? I don't.

It's like plotzing is like shepiknachus Jenny.

No, I'm kidding.

I knew, I knew, I would just make it more confusing.

Plotzing is like being so excited.

For someone just you can't keep it in. Yeah, like you're watching someone succeed and you're just like over brimming.

I'm plotzing for you too. I know how hard you've worked.

Oh my god, I feel that you actually are Jenny, and not as a joke. I'll get emotional, but I don't know you yet, and I'm so excited to meet you, but I know both of you, and you are both so authentic, so proud of you that I'll cry if I think about how kind you are, just so supportive and so warm. And when you see a person I'm in my forties, like I'm first. You know, it's nice to get yours when you know you're close to dead.

Gonna, we're gonna find a way around. I've heard of a phrase it says a candle loses nothing by lighting another. A candle loses nothing by lighting another. And I think especially in this industry where totally one can get through it's a lie.

It's a lie.

It's wide open and celebrate and support each other, and not just in this industry, in life, help people, see people, show up for people, support people. It's important.

And then what ends up happening is every we all want to be around each other exactly, and then we're friends. And so you'd end up doing something and you're like, oh, these people should come and do it, and so by not keep your elbows on other women's heads, you're like, oh, we all have room to blossom and be near each other and laugh and be silly.

Yeah, it was such an eye opening experience for me when I started doing the QVC with my Q fifty sisters. There's a group of women called the Q fifty and we represent women of a certain age. And once I stepped into that environment of women supporting women and building women up and helping them and inspiring them, my life changed.

I feel the exact same way I was up and coming when I was an up and coming comic. It's such a boys game. I mean, everything we do is a songwriting. I just all a boys game. And I think with women on television there's generally only there's one, Like there's one funny girl on the show, is it going to be?

Using?

Who's it?

And so you're always having a fight for your spot.

But I also think that.

The changes coming from the inside where now things are being written like that like Glow, that show I was on, they were like, oh, all the crazy chickens can come and play. There was fifteen of us just absolutely being bonkers, and so there's just it's nice to be in a space where there's like at least a little more room.

You know, we got a long way to go.

I will say you have to find those people though, because I think if you're confined in a space where a lot of your friends are the people around you are competing against you, then you feel like the whole world is like that. And I think I've kind of had to learn the hard way and cut ties with a lot of people over the years and realize like, no,

That's so hard.

Yeah, it is really hard. I call those this is not catchy at all, but I've been calling it this for years.

The friendship scissors.

Got to take them out. Bye bye, bye bye baby. But also, you're not happy for me?

What is this?

But you also have to realize it becomes easy when you realize if someone's competing with you, they're not a friend, they're front. So it's not hard to cut an enemy off or someone that is out to get you. You know, not that people are out to get you, but you understand either we're both rowing in the same way in this boat to get somewhere, or you're digging holes and lend it's brought water and waiting for us to sink, which are you?

Yeah?

And if you are not rowing with me, you got to get out the boat. I don't want you to drown if I have a boat.

Remember when I said that much less eloquently and worse than an event like maybe a minute ago.

But I can so relate when you were doing the Bachelor Bachelor, I get some confused.

Bachelor and Bachelor.

Yes, did you have that feeling inside of you or what was that environment like for you?

It's tough.

I mean, it's when we are going to be competitive when it's twenty five of you dating one man.

Absolutely, absolutely, it's hard not to be I think, and.

I mean even I was pretty competitive, but I also kept my relationship very private when I was on the Bachelor, Like I was like, these girls are my friend, but I'm also my heart was in it for that man at the time, So you had to do what you had to do. But at the end of the day, after all was said and done, we are a lot of us are still really good friends. So I think that's also something to be said about womanhood.

Right, I think, I mean, to be honest, growing up in the business, feeling those competitive energies, and especially with the way this industry works and being pitted against one another to get the role or to have more lines, or to be pretty whatever the thing is. I struggled with that, if I'm being perfectly honest, now, no, not now, back then. I mean, there's still those little voices inside my head that I have to hold back.

You came up when it was really rough. It was nineties girl. I'm glad you made it out because it was right entertainment. It was a lot of stuff going on.

So yeah, yeah, it was rough, and I think that it made me stronger, but it also was very Is this the word thwarting?

Thwarted? You thwarted me?

Thwarted?

Honestly one of the worst words.

It is.

You're using it properly, but it's a terrible As you said, it's a right, it's correct, but it's horrible. Thwarted.

Yeah, and it wasn't sorry about to use it. I know. Sorry. Well, it wasn't until later that I really realized that we are.

All in this click what click for you?

I have to be honest. It was it was meeting the Q fifty women. It was it was meeting and realizing I don't want to surround myself with people who are insecure and challenging or like fighting with me for attention. I want to be around women that are smarter than me, better than me, and they can teach me. And I like when I find new friends like many of you here today, it's because you inspire me.

Can I since you've brought it up, can I speak of how much I love you? Certainly I'm a little I'm a smidge older, but I was a big fan of nine to two one Oho. You're my favorite, and I I feel like I grew up with you because I was watching I was it was my first year of college when the show came on, and so I watched the show and my first time meeting you. But I've always felt that you were good people. I could always feel in my spirit that you were good people.

It's so easy to get derailed. It's so easy to get derailed and to listen to the wrong messaging and believe it.

It is so true and to what you were just saying, Jenny, I was the exact same way.

I struggled with it.

I was very much you know, you just wonder, like the one other girl on the show, like how many scenes is she in? How many does she have more to do than me?

And oh god, I only have one line, one nothing.

I'm practically not even in this. And it's hard when there's so little. There was so little given to women, especially in comedy. It's it's hard to not feel competitive and you try not to. But it did change for me.

I was lucky my Q fifty.

I guess it was glow because season.

One it was there a little, there was a little juju of like like we loved each other, but it was it was quietly competitive. It was like not passive aggressive, but it was just like question me, like oh how many scenes?

Like do a lot to do in this next one?

And these kind of things, and then those conversations just went by the wayside once we started like fully watch like me watching my friend's kids and being like sort of ingratiated into everyone's families and lives. You just start loving each other and it doesn't matter anymore. So that's when it sort of dissolved for me. But my I started acting when I.

Was nine, So my entire career I was really.

Like, probably a little pushy and elbowie because it was so important to me to get mine and I wasn't. But it really didn't until I was thirty six.

This is what's crazy about that. Though, I believe cream always rises to the top, right, And so I think I'll use my example when I was in Community because my character was not really written and this is no shade against Dan Harmon, there were other people to do other things, so I didn't have a lot to do on the show. It looks like I did because I knew that I was in the corner of the screen and somebody, even even I didn't have lines, somebody was going to look in that corner. So I would give

This is what Shirley would do.

It's a shot.

Surely would have something to say about that, could chase something.

Surely be in it, be there.

And the thing is, you still show up. So whether you have a line or not, whether you're the focus or not, even if you're in deep background.

You're still there.

You're still a part of what of this.

Tableau, of this mosaic that's being hate it and you were undeniable. There's no way it wasn't gonna be you. Were you kidding?

You kiding me? My mom?

Event love Jewish mother. No, I love it. I appreciate you.

I mean, this is how she speaks it. Really it's very heartwarming in it. It means a lot to me, it really does.

It's the key. I think you're such a great example of this building other women up.

Absolutely, it's so important. Brick by brick, we have to This is the other thing, Jenny. I remember when I when I came into the industry. I have a group of friends, my tribe, my group that I came up with we share information, so we will hear about an audition. Go Girdie looking for us gone. This is the this is the cast and director. These are the size, This is how many people were in the room. Because the other thing is sometimes you find out about an opportunity

Why would I get She needs her presence.

I love their information.

Wait, this is not We're just not loving each other enough. You are. She's such an amazing human being, you guys. Do you know that she turned down season six of Community just when it was coming strong to take full time care of her ailing father.

Yeah.

Yeah, twelve years later, we're still going strongly. And Daddy.

I saw him on the wedding video when they brought him down the aisle.

I borrow the ugly cry. I was like, I'm about to lose this lash. This lash is about to just fall. Yeah, And that was a wonderful surprise that my husband. My dad has dementia and he had a fall recently and he no longer walks, and so the idea of trying to get him to the wedding I could. I mentally couldn't figure out how it could happen, and so I just said, I'll go. I'll go after tomorrow. We'll put the dress back on, we'll go to where he's his

Daddy, remember when you used to singing you do walk group back in Alabama?

He said, I did, Yes, you did. It's a beautiful gift that you can give. So please, when it's your turn, lean into it. When it's your turn, let somebody care for you. Let somebody care for you and be okay with caring for others.

You can do it.

I promise you can do it. Okay. Please, I see you, honey, I see you.

So what I want to know?

Why are you?

Whether are the emotions? What got you here? I want to support you.

You get it?

You get it.

Wait?

Wait, I'm going to bring you a microphone. Okay, yeah, no, hurry your stake, baby, you need the spotlight.

Thank you, Jenny, You're so beautiful, so are you?

Thank you?

Now?

My I I knew a little bit of Samantha's story. If you want to know my breast cancer story, it's exactly hers.

It's we went through it at.

The same time twenty fourteen, for forty years old.

Everything.

While I was going through my breast cancer, I was taking care of my mom who was going through ladder cancer and to keep ourselves sane through it all. It was one hospital after another and we would just go to gift shops to keep ourselves going.

And I know, I know, and and I took care of her full time.

I left my job as a flight attendant to take.

Care of her.

And I lost her in twenty fifteen.

Sorry, she was my rock, she was my best friend. I missed her tremendously.

And yeah, I mean, it's just it's yeah, And I mean I sat there and we told the stories. And you know, prior to that, I had lost my sister and my dad. And it's it's terrible, you know.

And what's something I will share with you. And I lost my mom in twenty twenty one, and I get it. It's it's horrible. The grief is equal to the love. It is so when it is tearing you up, you will get to the point where you laugh because it's like Dad, I had a great mother. Oh my sister was awesome. Because I am tore up right, now, and that's the way it should be. If you're loved good. When they go, it's supposed to hurt. So just know that that is a sign that that you did it

It will last your life. You never get over it. I hate when people say that, you know when when you're gonna get over it. You don't get over it because you love that person forever and your grief will be forever.

Yes for sharing, thank you for.

Ginny and I share one more thing. Just care, give me space.

And this is not no you are you know about this?

This is not self serving. I really I did a podcast called Squeezed, and it's about those of us that what she just described, where she's going through her own thing and then she's getting squeezed because she has to care for her mother. Some people are caring for children and also their parents. Please find the podcast because it

Can I ask you a question about this, sorry, How do you find the time to choose yourself when you're a full time caregift.

I don't know the answer to that. Self care is so bad for me. I don't know how to do it. It's good for me. I just know how to do it. And that's why the idea of I choose me is like resonating with me in ways I can't even explain to you right now, because it just it's a choice. Everybody. You really do have to say No, I'm gonna go get a bagel today, I'm gonna go get my coffee. I'm gonna take my sake.

Oh gets me every time.

But well, little butter Toasted the batil gets you every time, you know, go to the movie, you know, go go visit friends and have a bite of lunch. You have to find a way to prioritize yourself. And it's not selfish.

We were not and I were saying this backstage but very common concept. But you can't help anybody if you don't.

Have your own own Coxtons, and so it's that it's my My mom's generation was all very and she used to tell me anything she did for herself was like very, it's very selfish.

You're very selfish.

It's okay to be selfish, though you have to be selfish sometimes.

Are you're going to survive. And we have to change the words.

I was just gonna say it selfish.

It's it's caring for yourself, you know, it's choosing.

It's selfish choosing to say change selfish to choosing me.

I choose me, I choose me, and it's not selfish, it's vital to your wells. Yep, yep, Jen, What was the most badass thing you've ever done, both on television and in your real life?

Oh that's a good question.

I mean, go get my pjs out, let's get.

The line out.

Really skill, let's see.

I would probably say the most badass thing I've ever done on television is probably the Batcherette finale when I was sitting across from my ex fiance at.

The time and ex.

Fiance excuse me, and I had to basically like confront him in front of a live audience on live I remember how well for the entire world to see, and basically had to like fight through tears to find the words to confront him and get my truth out and and talk to him and kind of call him out.

And I will say that.

That would have been very hard for me to do, like even two years ago alone in a room with like an X, but like to be able to do that on a stage.

Where did you find this strength in that moment? Balls?

I grew balls that day. I gave her a special aliss.

She gave me the ball Balls.

Honestly, we really don't have you.

Let's change that.

I don't want to neither do I.

No, I don't mean we don't even we don't even theoretically need like we as women, Yeah, we do not need We don't need them anyway.

But I will say I think there was a certain like the live element to it definitely scared the shit out of me. But I will also say it also pushed me because I was like, this is my one and only shot. This is the only time I have to say what I need to say to this man, and to get in to hear everything I need to say, and to get the world to hear everything that happens, because otherwise no one's going to be able to.

Know what really happened.

And that was kind of what pushed me over the edge there.

All my daughters and myself were standing up cheering for you in my living.

Thank you, thank you.

So real life was in real life? Well that was your real life.

Oh that was kind of real life.

Yeah, that was that was two for for sure.

Yeah.

I love that. And you have the courage to continue forward and keep finding out what's next for you by going on Dancing with the Stars.

It was the best time of my life.

And that's why I say, like take every opportunity you can, because when I started The Bachelor of the Bachelor, I didn't know it was gonna end up on Dancing with the Stars.

Thinks they're gonna end up there by nobody does.

Nobody does. That is like a dream for like five year old Jen, Like I watched that show all the time growing up.

I was like, I always want to be on the show.

I thought I was gonna be a pro dancer because I was like, maybe I'll take some dance lessons one day. Never got to that stage, never thought I'd be like the star of the show, but I it was incredible and it was like the best time of my life. I truly do not think anything will ever overcome it because I just had so much fun. It was like the most therapeutic thing and came at such a therapeutic time, like I've really needed that.

Yeah, do you have girls coming, women coming up to you now and thanking you for being so brave?

Yeah? I do, And it is kind of a crazy thing to hear so many people come up to me and like thank me for just being the first Asian American bacheh, or for just being so vulnerable. But I think that the vulnerable part is the part that makes me so proud to be able to do because growing up I was never so vulnerable in my household, Like my family never really talked about our feelings, and so all those kinds of things were kind of just closeted.

I think more people need to do that so that we can get vulnerable. I want to talk. Let's talk about vulnerability a second.

I was just gonna say, authenticity works every time. Every time, It's like you can't really choose to do it or not do it. If you are you are and everybody just feels it.

Whenever I'm inauthentic, I can feel I'm out of alignment with who I'm meant to be, who I wander and vulnerability, I go bruggle.

Oh yeah, I just I just did just now.

I literally just case and pointed my own self.

Wait to explain it, what happened?

I just like I just make everything funny, like I try to make every difflect with always, but I feel very deeply and I love to connect very deeply. And I'm super attracted to vulnerability, like I'm a magnet to a vetom just to just you dive right into futu and it's just this feeling of like, oh this is so it just feels so connected. But I don't I don't lead with that. I think you ladies lead with that. I lead with like I'm in a doll work outfit.

Sorry?

Okay, well I just don't even know if it's scary or if it's like I think, if we're getting real real, I think it's inherited trauma. Because my mom is the most amazing, funny, wonderful person, but she is so sarcastic. And my grandma, who is a Holocaust survivor and the strongest, most amazing woman you would have ever met.

I came out in my prom.

Outfit and she's like, this is what you're wearing, and like, if this is who we are, this is what we do. We never led with vulnerability, Like my grandma would be on the couch like in her very very old age and I'd be like, hey, what are you doing and She's like going dancingk what does it look like I'm doing? You're like, okay, So I am from a long line of just like absolute capital wise assery, and so I

Like what words should I say?

Truly me?

What to do?

Yeah?

What are the words?

And then I like come home and I struggle. Like even my boyfriend is like sometimes I'll just say things and he's like, I don't think I'm saying this to raise your consciousness. I don't think you know how you just said that.

I don't.

I don't think you just heard yourself. And then I'm like, dead serious, do a line reading. Because he's an actor too, I'm like, how was it? And then he do it back to me and it's like, ooh, but I don't mean it like I'm trying to have a connected emotional conversation.

You know.

You know what I'll say this. You do have the ability to be there, you know what I'm saying. So I want you. I want you. You can keep doing your work as we all should, but just know that you show up for people authentically and we can feel that you're there. We can feel that you love us, we can feel that you see us. So don't think that the wise assery is blocking the beating. Sweet delicious heart, I see tears I see her, she knows I see her, and and I want you to know that that we it's there.

It still comes through, you know what I mean? So just know that that's It's also like a muscle that you flex.

You know, you're not great at it the first time, but the more you do it, the easier it is to get it open.

Yeah, that's really nice. You guys are my girlfriends.

Ride or die?

Baby?

I feel like.

It's really great. It's really good.

What would you, ladies tell each of you just a quick how can we be better? Badasses?

Trust yourself. Your gut knows what you're supposed to do, what you're supposed to say, where you're supposed to be. You know it, and you know how you know it because when you don't do it, you feel bad that you didn't do it. You know when it's your moment to stand up and be the bad and when you don't do it, you feel that you've betrayed yourself. So when you feel it, you know what the aftermath is going to be. I'm gonna be home going.

Why didn't I say that? I should have Just say the thing, Just say the thing, Just.

Do the thing, because the thing is the people that are supposed to be in your life, they realize you're one of their people because you say.

And do the thing.

If you don't ever say and do the thing, you will never meet the people that are supposed to walk this road with you. And as this world changes negatively, we're gonna need people on the road with us, and you want fellow badasses with you. So do the thing, say the thing.

Say the thing, Say the thing.

Jen, what's your advice, Elva, I'm gonna go really cliche here and say to follow your heart. I think with every decision that I've made in my life so far, I've done it with full.

HUTSBA and.

I impressive, Yeah, but I've just like every decision I've made, I've I've known it to my core that it's been something Every decision has been something that I want to do fully, and no matter how crazy that decision has been, like not going to PA school and putting it on holding, going to do the Batchel, I just knew that it was right for me. And I will say, like, if something is scary to you but feels right to you, just do it, because if your heart is in it, then it's meant for you.

I heard you're going back to school, which is crambling, Jackie, give it to me.

I think mine is just full circle and it's just advocate for yourself and that you're the CEO and no one is gonna work as hard for you as you're gonna work for you. And also piggybacking on I vets a little. I think it's really easy, like if you want to start something to be like, oh, so many

Have a leg up because you're younger hardly.

But thank you.

Look at her.

So what's it like to be young?

Yeah?

God, I am Well, I'm.

Nineteen and I just have my moments.

Funk I am. I feel good, I feel young.

I don't need glasses when I look at my phone.

Oh my god, Okay, stop, yeah I do.

I do need glasses look at my.

Don't swear.

I just know.

I just got classes.

Unfortunately, I've been driving blind the past two years. I finally got class.

I'm sorry. I'm a sake.

You guys need to celebrate.

I have loved this discussion so much. You have no idea this diverse group of women, we all come from different places, different lives. That you are, each and every one of you an inspiration to being a badass. And I hope you all feel that. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, let's let's.

Give it up for our bad ass handle.

Thank you, ladies, and that Jennie and Jen