You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everybody, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as you know, is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. Life is a way of presenting us with opportunities for growth and change. When we're faced with a new opportunity, we either make a safe, familiar choice, or maybe we see this opportunity as a place to make choices that propel us towards unfamiliar, uncertain places and experiences.
I think it's in those risky choices where we find the most gorgeous and rewarding personal growth and Rea mention of ourselves. My guest today has taken some big and bold risks in her life. You know her from being the first ever bachelorette and from her podcast Almost Famous Ogs. She recently participated on the new season of Special Forces on Fox and spoiler alert, even though her time on the show has come to an end, I wanted to talk with her because this show is so extreme. I
don't know how she did it. Please welcome Trista Sutter to the podcast. Hello Trista, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
You don't even know how many dreams you are making come true with my college self. And honestly, I feel like I get you know when people tell you who you look like, you're a woman of the people. Get And I've always been like, thank you. That's such a huge compliment. So I really like that. Yeah.
Well, I'm also a fan of yours. Been watching you since you're on the Bachelor.
That's a long time ago.
That's a long time ago. Oh my god, you were the very first bachelorette, like you are the reason there is it's the Bachelor nation is so strong.
Well, thank you for that. I don't know if I can take all the credit, but but yeah, I mean it's pretty crazy. But it's still going on, Like it really is pretty crazy.
It really is.
Get started. I just want to say I'm so sorry for everything that you and your family and your community are going through. It's just heartbreaking.
Thank you. Yeah, it really is heartbreaking. Oh it's just yeah, but thank you.
Yeah, of course, I just I had to say it, but of course no. I was there actually on Tuesday, but when it all started. Yes, I was doing interviews at the Sunset Marquis Hotel and there was a fire right near our hotel, and then as I was leaving to go to the airport, like this huge plume of smoke. You could see it from far away on the four or five, and then from my plane, I actually took a video of the Palisade fire. I'm thankful that I
got out when I did. But yeah, I just it's like all in comor, like it consumes you your mind, even if you don't live there, like I just my heart is breaking for.
Lost me to me too. Just a first off, I need to know all about this experience that you are having. Let's talk about Special Forces, because for those of who haven't seen the show, it's an insane I choose me moment in itself just for doing this. It's like an intense boot camp environment. Where what were you thinking when you said yes to this?
I mean, come on, no, I don't know if I was thinking actually right, So at first I actually said hell.
No, okay, good response.
Crazy, and then said, don't you want my husband? This is totally up his alley? Like he would thrive in this experience. I okay. So the more I thought about it, after I initially, you know, my gut reaction was to say no. I talked to my husband, talked to my family, and watched the previous seasons, and I felt like even though I was fifty one when we filmed, and you know, I'm not in the greatest shape of my life. I'm not like, you know, I'm not I'm not in horrible shape,
but I'm not in the best shape. I'm somewhere in the middle.
That's good. That's good to me.
And I just felt like, you know, yeah, i might not be the strongest on the show, but I'm looking my purpose is it's all individual, right, So my purpose going into it was I dedicated my life to my family for almost eighteen years. My son, my oldest, is seventeen, so I look for opportunities to give back to myself
and challenge myself. And with them leaving soon, you know, making me an empty nester with Ryan, I'm just really faced with this moment of And you have an older daughter, right, maybe two that are yeah, so.
You know you know youngest is eighteen, so yeah, okay, yes.
You know exactly. So I it's hard like when you when you've poured into your family and your kids for so long and it becomes your identity. I'm really trying to get back to the person I am without my kids, because not to take away from being a mom, it's my greatest, greatest joy and I wouldn't take back any of the time that I have given to my family and my kids. But now I'm kind of looking to the future and thinking, I really need to figure out
who I'm going to be when they're gone. So that was my reason for doing it, and I'm really glad I did. I'm really grateful for it. Actually it's crazy, it's contense, but it was amazing.
Okay, So yeah, this was, like I said before, the ultimate I Choose me moment for you is just like I need to figure out who I am and what I'm capable of again, because I can fully relate with You've given yourself all to your kids and your family, and when you do that, you do you spend some time thinking, well, what am I instead of that? Like what am I without that? Because you're about to be faced with a whole different kind of parenting And I think it's so intuitive of you too. Yeah, first have
that negative reaction of like, uh no, thank you. I've got to be honest with you. They asked me to do the show on the first season. There was nothing for me to watch to like yet what it was like, and just from the description, I was like, yeah, that's a no for me. I'm sorry. I don't need to push myself like that anymore. I know. I know what I'm capable of, and I know what I'm not capable of. And I'm really not capable of leaping from a speedboat onto a helicopter. I do not know how you did
these things. I just I want to know everything. Yeah, you guys are getting like pushed into freezing cold water, like I said, jumping from helicopters, you're bungee jumping off of the tall bridges. I've only seen the first two episodes, but oh my god, I'm on the edge of my seat for you and for all of the casts.
Thank you.
Did you do anything to prepare yourself ahead of time?
I tried. I talked to Hannah Brown, who was you know, on a Bachelorette and won the first season. And if you call it winning, like you know, she won for herself, but she made it to the end of the first season, and so I called her and she was like, as much hiking running you can do with a big, huge backpack, on your back and I wish I had done more. Is all I have to say, Like I did.
You take her seriously or did you like I'm going to do this every day?
I took her seriously. But I had back surgery lumbar fusion. I don't know, maybe like ten years ago. My back is way better than it was. I felt like a ninety year old. But after the surgery, I always say, I wish I had had it sooner. Well, they the medical you know, they have to clear you medically, and the medical team wasn't going to clear me. And they told me, sorry, we can't have you on the show
because we can't clear you. And I was like, I'm sorry, but Jack Osborne was on it with multiple sclerosis, like you know, people had previous injuries, right, And so I was like, well, why don't you let me make that decision for myself and leave when I feel like I can't? But why like exclude me from doing it when it's just because I've had surgery. And they were like, well, we don't know how you're going to be being pushed off a boat now. Is anyone gonna be okay being pushed off or does.
Anybody know how let's see, how did I act last time I got pushed off a speedboat exactly.
So while I was working through that with the medical team and the producers, I am super superstitious, and I thought, I'm going to jinx myself if I keep working out. So I've freaking stopped. I mean, and I knew like three months before they asked me like three months before. Had I continued and done it every day like I should have, I would have been an amazing shape. But
didn't I know it. It bothers me. I wish I would could have, because what you don't see on the show is in between the tasks and the accommodations where we're sleeping or like the first day when we started at that, like off the boat getting pushed off the boat. You run everywhere, you run all the time, and you're running with a massive military rucksack backpack that has to be filled to fifteen kilograms, which is like I think it ends up being like thirty five pounds or something
like that. So if your pack isn't thirty five pounds, then you have to fill it with sand until it's thirty five pounds and carry that everywhere you go. In between and I don't know. I just feel like I don't like to burden other people. I didn't want to be a burden to people. And they're helping me carry my you can see. And when we got to the bridge, you see Golden carrying a backpack on the front of his body and his back that front backpack was mine. So thank God for my angels. But I just I
didn't want to be a burden, you know. So I really wish that I had trained more.
Yeah, I can't even run to the corner, Like running with no backpack is just like not a thing I can do anymore. Unfortunately, before you accepted this job or experience, whatever you want to call it, were you like in the mindset of choosing yourself or how would you have just described yourself like before this?
Before this, I was like, yes, occasionally choosing myself. But I'm still in it. I mean, my daughter doesn't drive yet, so I am still like her, you know, essentially her chauffeur and set her and you know, all those things. So I'm still in it really with my with my kids and just looking forward, looking forward to the time when they're going to be gone, because I have a lot of friends who are going, you know, through that
and becoming empty nesters. But so I'm still in it and maybe not choosing myself as much as hopefully after they're gone. But but yeah, that's kind of where my mind was.
Since you did have the privilege of watching like the seasons before, how did you were you terrified? How did you mentally prepare yourself? Were you like, oh my god, I said yes to this like a couple of weeks ago, I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do it, Like I can imagine I would have been like freaking out and be like, no, I'm not sorry, pulling out not doing it.
Yeah, there was you know, actually no, I take that back. I feel like once I committed, I was committed. It was just waiting for my clearance to come through. I was actually excited. You know, I've had some pretty crazy ones in a lifetime. Opportunities like this is not people can pay for, you know, like you don't just go to the special courses and be like, hey, can you
put me through base camp boot camp? You know? So I feel really lucky that I got asked, and I really wanted to take it seriously and and make my kids proud, make my husband proud, make myself proud, make my family proud. You know, so, no, I was. I was definitely committed once I committed.
M hmm. What was that like, having to leave your family and go I don't even know where you filmed that where you have to go far away? Yeah?
Yeah, we filmed in Wales, so I London. Yeah, it was far and it was when my kids were still in school, so they were going through finals. So well, that was really hard because you know, I wanted to be here to help them through that those last couple of weeks of school. And of course they take away your phone once you start filming, so that was difficult.
But I will say that's also another I Choose me moment, is just knowing that I wasn't going to have access to my family and vice versa, and saying, you know what, I'm going to choose me in this moment and really stay committed to the show and do what I need to do. And this is one of the things.
Yeah, I mean, because you said you didn't have your phone, was there a feeling of like isolation or just like complete disconnect from because you're so I would imagine in that environment. You have to just fully jump in and be consumed by it all the time.
You do, you do. I think that's how you probably survive is you really just have to stay committed and remembering your why and your purpose being there. That I think is a big part of the mental preparation is just really committing, you know, and not lying to yourself, you know, like really being honest with yourself for why you're doing it and giving it your all. Because it's very similar in that way to the Bachelor and Bachelorette.
You really have to just give in emotionally to the experience because you can't get out of it anything if you don't fully you know, commit to the experience and truthfully be yourself, right right.
I think that's the case with any experience, right.
Yeah, totally. I agree, any relationship, any experience. Yeah, you gotta agree. Just dive in, yep, and I did. Or I got pushed in, but you didn't die.
You got pushed in. I was like, ouch my neck. I would have come up and come been like, you're I have whiplash. You seem to get pretty close with some of your fellow castmates. Who would you say you were closest with and who did you rely on the most.
Yeah, so, like I mentioned my angels as as it showed in the last part of that, well, they're calling it the second episode, the second hour of the first episode, however you want to look at it. And after the beach, which was like the surf emrgin where you're linked up and you're you know, essentially drowning yourself, I got back to the vehicle and I went through. They didn't show much of it, but I went through. I believe hypothermia.
Took a while for the medics to get to me, but I was I could not move my head, I couldn't lift my head. My jaw was locked. I was in like lockjaw, if that's what you call it, and
shivering like uncontrollably. And Christy Carlson, Romano and Cam were in my vehicle and they scooped me up and put me on their lap and mind you were all wet, you know, I think, Yeah, I was still wet at the time, and they scooped me up and like just kept me close to them for body body heat and then piled everyone's coats and stuff on top of me. So they are definitely two of my angels that kind of took care of me, and I bonded with them because of that. And then Golden was one of those
people too, like always looking to help. And then you know, Ali, I've known for years and years, so to be able to be there with somebody that I already called a friend was awesome, and she was really there for me when I was going through that hypothermia. Once I got back to the accommodations, but Denise Richards and I really bonded. I loved the entire group, like they're good people, which is odd, you know, not odd that they're good people, odd that you know, there's so many people, and I
felt like everyone was a great person. So we feel like we got lucky. You know.
It's like a big group of people you would never expect to have together and they're all so completely different. I can imagine like going into that on just being open and getting to know these people from a different perspective, you know, like you had that you all are in the same boat. I'm sure it was so bonding.
Yeah, it was. I Mean, when you go through anything challenging or away from your family, away from your normal life, with you know, other people, you definitely bond if you're willing to. You know, I'm sure there's people who go into this kind of experience that are just like, you know what, I'm here for myself and I'm just gonna
I'm just going to do it for myself. But I feel like that was one of the big takeaways that I wanted to take away, And also what I'm so grateful for now is just having the camaraderie of the rest of the recruit.
I know when you went away to do this, there was a big hubbabaloo on the Internet about some messages your husband put out there that they were cryptic, and people were like, oh my god, are they breaking up? And I was very scared that that was happening, because you two are like a couple goals, Like I just think you're such an awesome pair together. But what happened with that?
Oh yeah, yeah. So if you look back on it, and I read it on my podcast with Bob Guiney, I do a it's called almost Famous Oje's and we talked about it, and I read the post that Ryan posted, and now it makes complete sense if you go back and you know that I'm in Wales filming this show, but of course I couldn't talk about it because they have you, you know, dialed into secret. You just can't.
And so I was just away filming the show. My husband was being really sweet and kind of shouting it from the rooftops via Instagram, and you know, it was it was shocking to me, actually, because we've been married twenty one years, right, and it's been a long time,
and it is really sweet that people actually cared. You know, most of the time they don't care, and Ryan will post, you know, sweet things, or I'll post something or whatever, and most of the time it just kind of you know, our normal numbers whatever of people who liked it or commented or reached out and said, you know, happy anniversary,
your happy birthday or what, you know, whatever. But the fact that it like all the news outlets were talking about it all everyone was talking about it, and I'm like, oh my gosh, people have lost their minds. But they're really sweet for losing their minds.
That's so crazy. Yeah, I always think when something goes viral or is lifted out of something, I'm like, wow, must be a slow news day, because they wanted to talk about this, but I stopped realizing that it's of interest to other people because you're just living your life and you're just having a marriage and a family. All of a sudden you're in the news and it's like controversial. I can imagine that would have thrown.
She having a nervous breakdown? Are they divorcing? Oh my gosh, Like I mean, I had so many of my friends from college, from high school, from you know, life here in Colorado writing me, are you okay? What's going on?
I'm fine.
I'm just over in Wills almost probably having a nervous breakdown from the show. But you know, you know, they didn't show a lot of what I did, which was like frustrating for me because I'm like, I do want to show my kids that I actually did jump off the rich you know, and and how well I did at the end. I actually failed that one because I made noise.
That was like a good call on their part. I think that was a little rough. Well, if you jump off a thing like that and your body's like like slammed, you get whiplash, Like of course you're going to make a noise like h or something.
I mean, I don't know if they have superpowers, they pretty much do the DS. But they're like, you're an enemy territory. This is your mission. You're an enemy territory. You cannot make a noise or else they're going to hear you. And totally understand that and respect that. But what I had a problem with is Nathan Adrian did it. I think he went first or second. He went pretty
early and I was second to last. And I remember him making like a grunt, like a noise when he when the bungeee like hit, you know, And I was like, but he passed, So why do I pass?
I know, I felt like, you're right, that rule kind of came on slow and then took everybody out. Basically, I know, I got a fail for everybody.
Oh and then the boat. They didn't show me on the helicopter either, like jumping to the helicopter. And it's so funny. I was watching with my family like two nights ago. Finally we got you know, all in the same house at the same time so we could watch together. And they were like, wait, why is the helicopter so close for some people and so far away for some people? Like Stephen Baldwin. All he had to do was go like this, like literally that far, you know, poor guy.
He was so excited and he made it.
He did awesome, I mean awesome, but it was so close. And then like Nathan Adrian is six six and he still didn't make it, and he jumped pretty high. So that shows you, like, obviously, I mean, it's a helicopter, right, so they try to get as close as they can to the boat and they know what they're doing, but
it's just not like a perfect science. So mine was pretty far away, and I had the fear in the back of my mind that Foxy tells you when you get onto the boat, if you don't jump by the time we need you to jump, then I'm pushing you in the water from a moving speedboat. And so that's all I could think was like, Okay, they're telling me to go, and maybe I should wait for the helicopter to get closer, but I don't want I don't want him pushing me off this boat like as we're going really fast, you know.
So anyway, complete madness.
Yeah, it is. It was crazy intent.
I'm still thrilled by the idea that you like, you were away and then you had this crazy, wild life changing experience and and then you come back and you can't tell your best friend, or you can probably tell your husband because you know he's not gonna tell them. Not to tell anyoney one. But like you can't tell anybody where you were, what you just experienced, or like how it transformed you totally.
You have to wait, and you know, you just sign your life away and you also signed that you have to keep everything in secret. And it's not my first rodeo when it comes to that. You know, like I I remember signing the contract for Bachelor and they were like, Okay, well if you tell anybody, then we're going to see you five million dollars. I'm like, good luck with that,
because I don't have it. Yeah, but it's like, you know, the fear, the fear of God or the fear of lawyers are put into you and you're like, okay, well guys have it Zip Phillips.
Yeah, how would you say as a wife, as a mother, this experience sort of changed you or maybe changed even your approach on life moving forward.
You know, I know that I can do hard things, you know when you said in the beginning, I know what I can do and I know what I can't do. And this is one of those things I can't do. While I wanted to just challenge myself. If you had told me six months ago that I would be bungee jumping off of a one hundred and thirty foot bridge in the middle of Wales, I would have said, you're crazy. There's no way I'm.
Still gonna say it. You're crazy.
I am. I am, and I am so proud of myself that I did that. I treaded water for fifteen minutes, you know, like that's not something that I do on a daily basis. So I am just proud. I'm proud of myself. I walk away from the experience thinking, you know what, you should be proud of yourself. You did really hard things and you survived and lived to tail the tail Yeah, by god.
I would, Yeah, I would. I would imagine a sense of some sort of affirmative feeling in my either ability to do hard things or my just even being risky, you know, in that way it didn't make those choices.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's that's kind of normal life for me too, is being not risky. You know, I played pickleball and majong and like it's everywhere, and yeah, those are not risky things, So I'm not usually that risk taker. I never really have been. I've been an athlete, but I haven't been a risk taker. The biggest risk I feel like I did before this was rock climbing,
and I was terrified of that. But actually I kept saying during the bridge that I wasn't as scared because I had been rock climbing and the heights weren't as much of a fear for me as they had been
in the past. So you never know. I mean, I feel like it's really a great feeling when you challenge yourself and you, you know, are able to surprise yourself and succeed, and that just fills your bucket, you know, it fills that like the bucket of the insecurities that I feel like all of us carry, for maybe most of us, maybe some people don't have any, but I sure do. And I you know, I loved being able to give myself that sense of pride that I can do hardly.
I love that For you. Do you miss the adrenaline of it all? Do you miss jumping out of boats and jumping off bridges? Do you miss sleeping on a cot?
Oh? I sure don't know.
Do you miss having someone shout in your face like that, for me, I will be like, Okay, this is my personal space and this is your personal space. I wouldn't have been able to handle the shouting.
It's really hard. It's very hard. But what I realized, I think maybe even before we started filming, was I think that the whole and I interviewed you, Who's the guy who was yelling at me as I'm leaving the beach. He's the Navy beal. I interviewed him yesterday for my podcast, and that was really actually kind of like a little
full circle moment. But I've realized that we all, like I just said, the insecurities, like you hear me talking on the trailer about the devil and the angel on my shoulder right.
And.
I feel like when you all of us are going to tell there's this inner dialogue right when you're doing something new, if you're not doing well, you're like, you shouldn't be here, you need to go home, you don't deserve to be here. You're too old, you're too out of shape, like you know, you're not enough, essentially, And I feel like the reason that the directing staff yell or the military when they're putting people through basic training.
Is they know that you're telling yourself this in your head. It's just a human I feel like it's a human thing, right, And so if you're telling yourself, you're going to believe what your inner dialogue is telling you. But if somebody else says it, then you want to prove them wrong. You want to be like through off, I deserve to be here. I'm not ready to go home. I know everyone's waiting for me, but they're really nice people, and they're going to continue to wait for me, you know
what I mean. So, like, I feel like there's a reason that they do it. They also want to like break us down so they can build us up and show us that we can do hard things and we should believe in ourselves. It is really hard to take, though, but I think you know me to that realization at least, you know. I don't know if that's reality, but that was kind of my my rationale for why they do it, and that helped me deal with.
The yelling what did you guys eat? I'm so curious about all the details?
Do you know what's funny? I have the worst memory, and oh, Jenny, I feel like I'm like, Okay, I need to go to the doctor because do I have Alzheimer's or a brain tumor or something, because this is not normal.
It's probably just a perimenopause for you.
Oh, it's sure, it is for sure. Along with just I've always had a bad memory, but it's gotten way worse.
I know, it's kind of scary.
It's very scary. So the details like that, I don't actually remember a lot of what we ate. I know, one day it was like pasta, you know, like they do cook for us, and in the vehicles they gave us snacks. Those snacks were like yogurt, a sandwich, an orange, like healthy nola bar. Yeah, but they stopped giving it to us. I remember Cam. He was so frustrated because he's giant.
He needs food, he needs galleries, he needs.
Food, and he's a vegan and they were giving him like not vegan stuff and he was just like, I need food. You guys am not gonna last. So yeah, the food, you know, it's it leaves a lot to be desired. But you're it's not like I expected good food, you know, I wasn't expecting.
Where's the caterer, where's craft service?
Please? And actually Denise said that like I was, I was wondering when we would get our break and we could go to craft services. Oh, bless her heart.
She did a great job. She was like, I knew I'd be the first one to go.
She was so scared. She did not want to look like, uh, you know, the weakling that goes first. But yeah, she was not weak at all. I feel like she didn't watch. I interviewed her too, and we've talked. When I was in LA, we did press together and she was like, I'm not going to watch. I don't like watching myself, And so I texted her and I'm like, you look really vulnerable and relatable, and I think that came across beautifully,
like you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I feel like she had a lot of injuries and she's talked about them, you know, openly now. But she was dealing with a lot. We all were. And you know it's if people leave early, you know, then don't get to the end. That's okay, that's just their path. So yeah, she did great.
What is next for you? Like, what big giant risk you're going to take next? First, the risked taking a risk on love a long time ago.
I haven't looked at it like that.
Yeah, you're a risk taker.
Ah, I didn't know that. I mean, actually, like I'm not, but that's true. I mean, even like we did Celebrity Marriage boot Camp and that was a whole crazy experience. Dancing with the Stars was not se Look, it wasn't even a show, you know. I just was like, okay, well sure, sign me up.
I wait, what season did you do of Dancing with the Stars?
Number one?
The very first one? Oh my gosh, I remember because they sent out those mailers and you opened it and it was like a twirling dancer. Do you remember, Like I was mesmerized by it. It was like a dance ball thingy whatever that's called disco ball. I like a twhirling dancer When you opened it was a great media thing. Well yeah, wow, you see you are a trailblazer and a risk taker. Did you ever forget that.
You were on Stars? Right?
Yeah? Season five?
Okay, yeah, you were an OG two. I love it. It was a great experience. I don't it's not as risky that you know, although it is like performing live on stage in front of a national audience, so that's a little crazy.
Yes, it's it's equal like equally death defying to some of us who don't like doing that kind of thing.
That's so true, It is true. Next, I feel like I really just have to get through to the finish line of you know, getting my kids off to college or whatever they're going to do after high school. I you know, that's my biggest goal in life, is just
helping them succeed and be happy. And so right now it's just kind of revolved around that I continue to do my podcast and and just you know, work with companies that I feel like are authentic to who I am, and you know, happily promote them via social media, and then just hope that in two years or howeur many is left when my kids are gone, that I can I can figure out how, you know, how to truly continue to get back to me and enjoy my life with Ryan after they're run.
Oh, your husband is a risk taker too, He's a fireman, right.
Very yes, it's it's who he is at his core, like running in when everyone else is running out, that that's him. So yes, big time. He's always been a huge risk taker and I look up to that. And actually that was that was also part of the reason that I did the show is you know, they were asking me when I thought they should be asking him, and I wanted to have him kind of live vicariously through me until they get him on the sho show.
I'm pushing Fox, like, get right on the show. He needs to do it next.
He'd be so great too, he would be so great.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, it seems like with all that you've learned about yourself in this new confidence that you always had, but you kind of had to rekindle and get back in touch with you know, I know what it's like when you're a mom and you you give it all away. And I'm so happy that you were able to find that light inside of you and just let it burn because you did a very risky thing. And uh, you should be so proud of yourself.
Thank you. I am. I'm proud. I even you know, we had like a little reunion with all the recruits and the would you would you do it again? And and I actually raised my hand. I know, I'm a Looney Tunes, but because it kind of they were once in a lifetime. You don't normally get to like put yourself through these challenges and and learn more about yourself, especially when I'm fifty two, you know, don't You don't get those chances unless you really do, you know, take
some risks. So I just thought, you know, yeah, sure I would do it again. Maybe I would rethink it if I knew where the location was and I was freezing cold, because that would definitely be a crux for me. But but yeah, it was. It was a really cool experience. And I'm so glad you're watching.
Yeah, I've been a fan of the show since day one. More just like in awe of like what is happening right now? Are these people out of their minds? Like That's what I'm thinking the whole time I'm watching it.
Ah, we are a little bit. But if they asked you for next season, would you say yes?
No? What part of that didn't you understand? No? I will not do that. Also, I don't think I could physically do that anymore with my I have two fake hips, so I can't imagine even being that cold, or you know, just be pushing myself to the point I just as I've gotten older, I just don't push my body further than I think I should. You know, I have to listen to my body so much more.
Yeah, and that's good, that's I mean.
But the person inside me would love to make the do that, you know I am. I love a challenge, I love a risk like that. So the person inside of me would be like, oh, I really kind of want to do it. But then I would think about the physical aspects of it, and I just don't think I could.
Yeah you could, though, honestly you could. You'd be surprised at the kind of things that you can do. But hey, if you know that, you're like, nope, and your gut's telling you that, Like I actually went into it. So I don't know if you believe in angel numbers, but.
I it was an angels. What's an angel number?
Angel numbers are like I would be really bad at giving the other official definition, but the gist of it is if you see like a number over and over and over again, or like you see a number pop up and you're having a particularly hard day or whatever, it's a way for your guardian angels to reach out to you and say it's okay, I've got you. Kind of kind of thing, you know, totally totally. And so I saw four forty four when before I was about
to turn my phone off. I feel like maybe it was four forty four in the morning, and and I immediately looked up what four forty four meant, and it said something about how your guardian angels are with you. They they've got your back, you know, they're watching over to you. And so I went into the experience with a kind of peace in a way of thinking, I believing this that that God and you know, my guardian
angels are watching over me. And maybe that also helped me too, you know, to not be quite as fearful knowing they they were watching over me. You know.
Yeah, I totally believe in angels and angel numbers. I guess that's what you call them.
Yeah, go look at look at at that. It's actually kind of cool.
Did you have your angels visiting you while you were there, like pushing you or getting reassurance?
I did, And it's so it's so powerful to me if you can tap into that kind of thing, that kind of belief. You know, I haven't lost my parents, I've lost my grandparents and have had a couple very close friends and close family friends that have lost and just just knowing that or believing you know, I know, just because I believe, but I have faith that they're watching over me. So yeah, they definitely I felt like they were there with me.
I feel like I really started listening to that feeling that you're talking about of being supported by my angels or the universe or whatever, God, whatever you want to
call it. I had struggled for so long in my life to find any kind of faith or belonging, and so when I started to develop that faith in something, whether it was the Buddhist teachings that I was learning or the angels that I felt and saw, whatever, it is like, if it's the faith, it ignites something in you and comforts you and pushes you, and just that's that feeling of comfort I think that I was so seeking. I found it in faith faith of something.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I feel like that's a huge part of the mental struggle too, and that goes you know, you don't have to be on special forces to use this in your daily life, you know, mental setbacks, challenges, emotional things going on. Faith has gotten me through a lot a lot in my life, and I I am thankful that I had that to draw on for the show, and I'll continue to use that you know every day.
Yeah, it's faith is amazing. It's right there accessible at any moment.
It's almost comforting.
Yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. I don't even know. It's not my place to be proud of you, but I am.
I know. At the same.
Age, I think you're amazing and I'm just in all that you chose to do this, and you're such a risk taker and a leader. That's a great message for your daughter and your son. And yeah, I think you're awesome.
Right back, as I said, I've been such a huge fan for so long, So thank you.
It's been so nice to chat with you. Before I let you go, though, I want to ask you, Trista, what was your last I choose me a moment?
You know, obviously this show was a huge one, but I'm going to say, like, just yesterday I went was it yesterday? Two days ago? I went and played pickle ball, even though my I think my friend, my kids were needing to be somewhere, and I'm like, you know what, this is my time. I don't schedule a lot of these, but this is my time. I'll come pick you up. You're safe, You're at a friends I'll come pick you
up when I'm done, you know what I mean. So sometimes you just got to be like, you know what, this is my time, and if you're safe and where you you know, where you're okay, then I'm going to put myself first. So I did that, and I feel like that is so so important for moms out there and caregivers just to understand that if you don't fill your bucket, then you're not going to be able to
fill anybody else's. You're going to be empty, You're going to be depleted, and so put your oxygen mask on first and fill your bucket so that you can help out the people in your life that you're trying to help. It's so important.
Love that message. Thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your journey with us. You're inspiring to all of us.
I hope. So you know, you always wonder like, oh gosh, how are they going to edit it? And what am I going to look like? And are people like, oh what is she thinking? You know, but no cares. Yeah, I know it's true.
You you'd prove to yourself what you're capable of, and it does not matter what anybody yel thinks.
Thank you agreed. I need to hear that good. Thank you for telling.
Me we'll stay safe, be well loved.
Please please, much love,