Happy Valentine’s Day, Cuties! Donny is NOT farting, but he IS trying to make 9/11 happen, much to Chelsea’s chagrin. She approves, however, of shameless self-promotion, so they use this hour to plug their new Youtube channel ( subscribe here! ) before diving into the surprisingly good “Bridget Jones’s Diary.” Donny and Chelsea may not know how to mingle, but they can answer tough questions, such as: how old is Moaning Myrtle and why do British people get to say the C word? And don’t be fooled -...
Feb 12, 2024•56 min•Ep. 116
Yeehaw, baby! It’s Friday, and Chelsea has another catchphrase (for how long? We’ll find out soon enough…) The Cute Ones dive into Drake’s ding dog, the future of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Usher’s Skims photoshoot (Donny wants to be that peach), the reconciliation between King Charles and Prince Harry, the A*Teens reunion, and Tom Holland’s return to the stage in “Romeo and Juliet.” On the Charmed front, Shannen Doherty, Holly Marie Combs and Rose McGowan may be against Alyssa Milano, but don’...
Feb 09, 2024•33 min•Ep. 115
Before Evan Rachel Wood was working in the Little Shop of Horrors with Darren Criss, she was "Thirteen." No movie depicts sisterhood and bullying quite like this one, and Kelli ( Laguna Biotch / Beyond the Blinds ) quickly finds out that no podcast embodies those things more than this one, either. The three discuss their middle school aesthetics (bring back sweat bands!) and fooling around in front of your friends. Also, Kelli shocks the Cuties with the best celebrity impression they’ve ever hea...
Feb 05, 2024•54 min•Ep. 114
After a quick retraction about farm expos, Donny and Chelsea discuss the hottest headlines of the week: Britney Spears vs Justin Timberlake (what year is this?), the Vanderpump Rules premiere, Jessica Biel’s shower buffet, Elmo acting as our therapist, Taylor Swift at the Superbowl, Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion’s latest feud, Diablo Cody, and Reba’s new sitcom (seriously… what year is this?). They also brainstorm things they’ll have their future assistants do (and what Chelsea will do for...
Feb 02, 2024•28 min•Ep. 113
Can something be camp and also cause trauma? The answer is yes (twice) because this podcast exists, and so does 1995’s “Showgirls.” Donny and Chelsea learn about insider training and dive into AI porn (justice for Taylor Swift, but not for the men of Marvel), their very different Vegas experiences, and the logistics of farm expos. Chelsea will probably never pose nude for Donny to paint her, but Donny did for an entire college class… and wait until you see what pose he was in (spoiler alert: it ...
Jan 29, 2024•59 min•Ep. 112
TGIF, Cuties! Stop deedlebopping and listen to Donny and Chelsea break down the week the best way they know how: by making it about themselves. No topic is left unmentioned: Renee Rapp, The Killers' Las Vegas residency, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and Taylor Swift's boyfriend's brother. Donny has been watching Netflix's "The Trust" and "Surviving Paradise," and he has never been so sure that he was made for reality competition television. The two also compare their favorite movies of the ...
Jan 26, 2024•31 min•Ep. 111
Welcome to I Am The Cute One, the most chaotic school dance in the podcast universe. Each week, Donny (Lea Michele Book Club President) and Chelsea (Man Hating Gemini) will chat movies and gossip about pop culture and current events, but mostly they'll overshare, trauma dump, and embarrass themselves publicly! So if talking sh*t is your love language, smash that subscribe button and let's get ~*cUtE*~ Follow us on social media! Chelsea: @ohnochels Donny: @realdonnywood Support the show Learn mor...
Jan 25, 2024•1 min
Much like Once Upon a Time, this episode goes off the rails quite quickly - well, let's be real, Cuties; it was never on the rails to begin with (much like Chelsea's thought process after hearing Donny's gay Olsen Twin story). Donny reveals another beauty standard that he's not willing to budge on, and Chelsea reminisces about her favorite storyline on The OC ( spoiler alert: it's the lezzies). Also, as the duo dives into the 2011 Justin Timberlake/Amanda Seyfried sci-fi movie, In Time, they the...
Jan 22, 2024•58 min•Ep. 110
Sloane Steel of Mummy Dearest podcast may not have anything kind to say about... anything really, except... somehow I Know Who Killed Me. Cuties, buckle up for the biggest twist in cinematic history... that you already know because Donny ruined it for you in every episode the past six months. Besides trying to explain the plot, the three also discuss cat anatomy, Donny's short stories, lying relatives, and... 9/11, naturally. Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes (with our "Pretty Wild" re...
Jan 15, 2024•55 min•Ep. 109
Hi, I'm Tom. Get ready, Gen Z - it's Adam Sandler Day, and Chelsea and Donny are here with extra fishy fingers to recap his and Drew Barrymore's romcom about neurological trauma, 50 First Dates. They also discuss ghosting, gaslighting yourself into thinking you're drunk, and the appropriate amount of time before spoiling a movie's twist. Then, Chelsea educates Donny on the DMV sniper, and Kate Bosworth (and huskies) are the targets of Donny's attacks yet again. Hi, I'm Tom. Subscribe to our Patr...
Jan 08, 2024•59 min•Ep. 108
Happy New Year, Cuties! This week, Donny and Chelsea are watching "The Family Stone," a movie that makes them both ugly cry and makes Donny... let's say feel the love. The two discuss the best movies to make your family watch after a grandparent passes, horror stories of BGSC and the ER, and a morning that left Dr. Bald SHOOK. Then, they participate in the most divisive debate of all time: Team Meredith or Team Stone Family? But if this episode is too much for you, watch "Junebug" instead. Subsc...
Jan 01, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 107
Cuties, check out one of our favorite Christmas episodes from the past - a recap of "A Diva's Christmas Carol" with Troy and Kelli of "Beyond the Blinds!" ATTENTION CUTIES: Unedited/unhinged audio and video of our "Batman Returns" episode is available on our Patreon FOR EVERYONE FOR FREE as a little Christmas treat! We love you! If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! ...
Dec 27, 2023•54 min
I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but Donny and Chelsea feel... more chaotic than ever as they recap Tim Burton's "Batman Returns." As they reminisce about this quintessential Christmas movie, the duo plan upcoming Halloween costumes (naturally) and Donny makes a New Year's wish to be cancelled by two dedicated fandoms. Then, Chelsea reads some of her poetry and shares the worst gift she's ever received (photos are available on Patreon , along with more details about Donny's family secrets.) S...
Dec 18, 2023•57 min•Ep. 105
Last guest before the strike, Quin Lamar, is back for his favorite “so weird” podcast to cover the 1984 Christmas movie, “Gremlins.” After repeatedly not being allowed to moderate, he shares a theory about what the movie is REALLY about. The three discuss Dan Akroyd, Quin’s brilliant money-making opportunities for college students, and Donny’s comic book career. Also, Chelsea provides education about the way you should properly hump your (sister’s) dog. Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episode...
Dec 11, 2023•53 min•Ep. 104
Holiday season is here, and Donny and Chelsea are covering the 74th best Christmas movie, The Santa Clause. The Cute Ones discuss stupid kids, Donny's Santa fetish (or maybe just a Tim Allen fetish), and the best iteration of the North Pole (and shoving it up your ***). And Donny and Chelsea have a question: WHAT HAPPENS TO MRS. CLAUS? Thank you to today's sponsor, OneSkin! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code CUTEONE at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod To purchase tickets to our upcoming virtua...
Dec 05, 2023•57 min•Ep. 103
Buckle up, Cuties, because Donny and Chelsea are going Crossroads; that's right - the day has come for them to cover the 2002 Shonda Rhimes-written Britney Spears road trip movie! They've been waiting, but it's unavailable to stream anywhere, so they had to wait until it was back in movie theaters, and their day has come. The two praise Britney (and karaoke bars) and hate on everyone in her life (except the movie's director), and also pick apart what it means to be a people pleaser. Also, Chelse...
Nov 27, 2023•59 min•Ep. 102
Mamma Mia! Here we go again, indeed - movies are BACK and the strike is OVER , so Chelsea and Donny are using six-month-old notes to cover this ABBA jukebox musical (and they're still mostly relevant?) The duo discuss the insufferable characters of this Greek tragedy, as well as Blue Ivy, marathon running, Amanda Seyfried's acting style (once in every project) and goat sheds. Also, Donny gives an update on his broken ceiling, and Drew Barrymore can't sing. To be featured in an upcoming episode, ...
Nov 20, 2023•55 min•Ep. 101
To celebrate the end of the SAG/Aftra strike, the Cute Ones are covering their LAST BOOK EVER - the first Animorphs book, "The Invasion." Besides heavy exposition and incestual cousins, they discuss Donny's many offenses at Bubba Gump Shr*mp Company, gay (ugly) NYC nightlife, Chelsea's past in hula hooping, and middle school musical theater. Also, a new development is made in the Jon Benet Ramsey story and Donny promises to never... well, you'll see. For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinge...
Nov 13, 2023•59 min•Ep. 100
Jim from The Office read this book, and now Donny and Chelsea did! That's right - it's time to cover From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. In the C-word heavy recap of this mystery... with no mystery, the two discuss why they'd be terrible running away from home, dumpster diving for furniture, why the mall would be a terrible place to escape to, the mail-checking habits of millennials, and... Jon Benet Ramsey advent calendars. For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio ...
Nov 06, 2023•55 min•Ep. 99
Chelsea is diving into her second Goosebumps book - this time, one where something actually happens, "The Haunted Mask." In this episode, she and Donny continue to give the Cuties headache - with stories about school lunches, army boyfriends, and last minute Halloween costumes. Also, Chelsea used to be smart and knocked it out of the park at the science fair. And if you don't like this episode, you can s*** on a s*** p****. For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, s...
Oct 30, 2023•57 min•Ep. 98
Apologies, Cuties - Halloween is cancelled. But to celebrate the lack of the holiday, Donny and Chelsea are naked (well, Donny is) and covering Fear Street Cheerleaders: The First Evil. Besides the book, they discuss the gunks of the hosts of The Basement Yard, Chelsea's granola doppleganger and Donny's blonde one, and church Hop-a-Thons. Please end the SAG-Aftra strike so that Chelsea stops singing, and remember to buy your tickets to the Hellen Keller musical now before it sells out! For bonus...
Oct 23, 2023•55 min•Ep. 97
Allow us to introduce Profoundly Pointless, a Signal Award winning podcast. Exorcists, Money Launders, Latex Models and More. Explore something new on "Profoundly Pointless." Every week host Nick VinZant sits down with different guest from a unique walk of life. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Oct 20, 2023•6 min
How many books are there about thinking someone is a vampire with no payoff and hardly any plot? At least two, and Chelsea and Donny are covering their second one on the pod, Bunnicula. Sink your teeth into this chaotic episode where the Cute Ones discuss the gender identities of pets, Dr. Bald's Mr. Hyde moustache era, and gays working at Arby's. Also, Michelle Obama, if you're listening... come on the podcast. You won't regret it (you will, but it will be too late to do anything about it.) For...
Oct 16, 2023•58 min•Ep. 96
Trick or Treat, Cuties! While we're sorry to play a trick on you by re-releasing an old episode today, we're thrilled to give you the treat of TWENTY SEVEN (that's 27! Count em') minutes of bonus content ONLY EVER HEARD BEFORE ON PATREON! Deputy Editor of US Weekly and host of “Here For the Right Reasons” podcast, Sarah Hearon, joins Donny and Chelsea to recap ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ and the duo may have done research to pronounce her last name correctly, but they still don’t know a d...
Oct 09, 2023•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 95
It's Spooky Season, and since Chelsea has finally seen the Barbie movie, Donny is celebrating by wearing his best bandana. The duo is covering "Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots," which is a lot less uneventful than either of the two of them remember it being. Besides the book, they reminisce about the meanest teachers they've had, water balloon titties, breaking into neighbor's homes, and teachers who don't know boundaries. Also, Donny confronts Chelsea about not including him in inside jokes. #no...
Oct 02, 2023•53 min•Ep. 94
On the brink of exhaustion after being terrorized by Chelsea's daughter all weekend, Donny completes the cycle of abuse by traumatizing the Cuties with a very detailed Jonas Brothers tweet. Then, the duo cross the Rainbow Bridge to cover Neighbors From Outer Space (which does not include biting off fingernails) and also... fables, some of which may be made up. They also discuss their favorite commercials, their weirdest neighbors, and Donny's hatred of space. And Chelsea sings. Again. For bonus ...
Sep 25, 2023•54 min•Ep. 93
Even God can't stop them! Donny and Chelsea are finally recording the episode that fate tried (repeatedly) to make not happen, and they use the powers of the Magic Tree House to really go places (none of which are the Titanic). They also discuss the hyper focuses of their formative years, cringey abbreviations, setting boundaries, and what your choice of Titanic VHS says about you. Also, Chelsea decides to sing (...twice) and do a little voice work. For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged...
Sep 18, 2023•54 min•Ep. 92
Donny and Chelsea are still broken from last week's book, so they are using their big fat mouths to tackle an elementary aged book this week: Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth. While Junie terrorizes her family and her kindergarten class, Chelsea and Donny terrorize each other with stories of baby talk and childhood dentists. They also talk about kids from the wrong side of the tracks, biting, childhood aspirations, and getting people fired on Take Your Child to Work Day. Also, Junie is almos...
Sep 11, 2023•54 min•Ep. 91
There's nothing as horrible as being abducted and then lied to your whole life by the people who love you... except reading about it. This week, Donny and Chelsea read the tedious fan favorite "The Face On the Milk Carton" by Caroline B. Cooney and spend that time wishing someone would chloroform them and take them away so they can stop reading. Before you attack - Donny remembered loving this book as a child, but it's not the dramatic thriller you remember. Besides spending the hour saying how ...
Sep 04, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 90
This week, Chelsee and Dhani are hanging out with the Baby-Sitters Club Little Sister today to cover Karen's Haircut by Ann M. Martin. Karen may have no teeth, but the duo have many things to talk about - including childhood games, homemade music videos, playground weddings, the mom from Home Improvement and JoJo the Dog Faced Boy. Also... do your children listen to this podcast? For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon! If today's episode m...
Aug 28, 2023•55 min•Ep. 89
