You have a story. Your sexuality has a story. Adam Young explains why and how to engage your sexual story: desires and disappointments, arousal, emotions, shame, abuse, and your war with hope. Adam also gives us a preview of the workshop he will lead at The Porn Free Man Conference on "Engaging God About Your Story." This episode is incredible! Adam Young is a therapist who focuses on trauma and abuse, and the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast . Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worke...
Dec 23, 2024•41 min
Why is purity culture harmful, and how can we heal from it? Dr. Camden Morgante explains what purity culture is, where it came from, and how to let go of toxic beliefs without letting go of your faith. Stay until the end to hear Dr. Camden's beautiful meditation on healing from sexual shame. Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist, writer, speaker, and coach. Dr. Camden combines her personal experience growing up in purity culture with her professional experience in mind-body int...
Dec 16, 2024•30 min
Why do we hide and lie? How can we stop? This episode will help you feel safe enough to tell the truth—or at least a little safer. I'll lead you in an experiential exercise, similar to what I facilitate in Husband Material Academy and private coaching sessions. Warning: this will be very deep... Resources mentioned in this episode: How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (podcast) The 6 Fs: A Process To Jumpstart Healing (free PDF) Certified Husband Material Coaches (directory) What are ...
Dec 09, 2024•29 min
When emotional energy and sexual energy fuse together, sexualized attachment is the result. In this episode, Dr. Floyd Godfrey describes the dynamics of sexualized attachment and his personal story of healing and recovery. Dr. Floyd Godfrey is a Clinical Sexologist, Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Specialist Supervisor, and Certified Mental Health Coach. He is often known for research and intervention with those who struggle with sexualized attachments and eroticized emoti...
Dec 02, 2024•41 min
What exactly is attachment? How does it relate to addiction? Michael John Cusick explains why we need to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure, and what it looks like to experience attachment with God. At the end, Michael guides us in a beautiful meditation on my favorite chapter of the Bible, Psalm 131. Michael John Cusick is a Licensed Professional Counselor , spiritual director, speaker, and author. Having experienced the restoring touch of God in a deeply broken life and marriage, Michael’s p...
Nov 25, 2024•1 hr
Exciting news: this podcast is now part of Husband Material Ministries, a Colorado nonprofit corporation! From now on, we are relying on people like you to make resources like this podcast possible (and free) so that more Christian men can outgrow porn. Listen now to learn more... If you believe in and support our mission, please join our team of monthly supporters at husbandmaterial.com/give . All donations to Husband Material Ministries are fully tax-deductible. Your generosity empowers us to ...
Nov 18, 2024•9 min
In this episode, you'll learn two powerful antidotes for porn addiction: play and awe. Ready for a deep dive into neuroscience? According to Polyvagal Theory, play and awe are both "blended states" that regulate your autonomic nervous system through connection instead of disconnection. Play is not peripheral. Awe is not optional. These experiences are essential for the health of your brain! Watch the video at www.husbandmaterial.com/play-awe-porn Related podcast episodes: Porn And Polyvagal Theo...
Nov 11, 2024•21 min
Don't let unwanted same-sex attraction hold you back from a life of purpose and possibility. In this episode, Jason Mellard tells his story of feeling separate from masculinity and how that affected him sexually. Hear how Jason found lasting freedom from porn through finding his voice, grieving his wounds, and stepping into his purpose. Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a...
Nov 04, 2024•24 min
Have you ever felt afraid to be vulnerable? Me too! In this episode, Trent Dollyhigh tells his story of childhood trauma, porn, pastoral ministry, prison, rehab, and a new life of redemptive risks. Here is a man who lost the world and gained his soul. May Trent inspire you to be vulnerable! "There is no relationship without risk." —Trent Dollyhigh Trent Dollyhigh is the founder of Be Vulnerable Mentoring , a recovery mentoring ministry. Trent is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Ba...
Oct 29, 2024•41 min
What can Inside Out 2 teach us about outgrowing porn? I’ll share my top three takeaways. Spoiler alert: important plot details will be revealed. Related episodes about Internal Family Systems (IFS): Experience Healing Through IFS , with Dr. Peter Malinoski Unburdening Sexual Arousal , with Dr. Peter Malinoski Internal Family Systems and Jesus , with Kim Miller Move Toward, Not Against , with Jenna Riemersma The Image Of God In You , with Jenna Riemersma What are you doing this Saturday? Come to ...
Oct 21, 2024•11 min
What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuilding trust. Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specializ...
Oct 14, 2024•44 min
What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behavior, how to set appropriate boundaries while practicing empathy, and what wives really want from their husbands in the healing process (VOWS). This te...
Oct 07, 2024•35 min
Through the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch, you'll hear how Jesus heals sexual shame, childhood trauma, systemic injustice, and the agonizing experience of being excluded and emasculated. If I could sum it up in two words: you belong! This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 9, 2024 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado. Sign up to be notified about the 2025 retreat here. Watch the video here . What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register ...
Sep 30, 2024•50 min
We all experience sexual attraction differently (SSA, OSA, etc). In this episode, we explore the benefits, challenges, and limitations of forming deep friendships with men who experience different types of sexual attraction. Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at HM. Email Henry at henry@husbandmaterial.com . Jason Pidcock is a trauma-informed recovery coach and HM Community Member. Learn more...
Sep 24, 2024•47 min
How do you view men who experience same-sex attraction (SSA)? In this episode, Jordan Castille and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to men. Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) - Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, Tex-Mex, learning how to fix things,...
Sep 16, 2024•47 min
How do you view men who experience opposite-sex attraction (OSA)? In this episode, Jason Pidcock and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to women. Jason Pidcock is a Certified Trauma Informed Recovery Coach and longtime member of the Husband Material community. Jason is passionate about helping men overcome the coping strategies they have developed that are no longer serving them well. After finding much healing from his own story of spiritual abuse and porno...
Sep 09, 2024•1 hr
If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you. Related resources: Unwanted , by Jay Stringer (paid link) How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze Sexual Fantasies Why We Sexualize Emotions...And How To Desexualize Them What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch...
Sep 02, 2024•41 min
Have you ever felt unable to enter into your wife's pain? In this episode, Nathaniel Gustafson explains how to come close to your wife in a way she is more likely to trust. You'll learn how to stay out of shame, keep the spotlight on her, and practice these skills before "game time." Sobriety is not enough. You must learn empathy. Nathaniel's compassionate guidance will help you develop it. Watch the video of this episode here . Nathaniel Gustafson is a licensed professional counselor and ordain...
Aug 26, 2024•50 min
Many men have been wounded by women. In this episode, Britta Eskey explains how women can help men heal wounds caused by women. Without women, we are missing half of humanity. Britta Eskey co-founded COR , which assists people in finding and living their purpose, including through the Noble Man workshop. Britta is the author of Initiations in Love , a spiritual memoir which answers the age old question: “What do we do with our pain?” Britta has a background in social work, family therapy, counse...
Aug 19, 2024•28 min
Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal. You'll meet: The "good boy" who became "the hero." The "bad boy" who became "the villain." The "hurt boy" who became "the victim." Related episodes: Porn And The Inner Child The Inner Child Challenge How To Heal Your Inner Child Find The Boy Within The Man Four Ways To Reparent Yourself What are you do...
Aug 12, 2024•17 min
Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com . You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in protecting yourself from porn without giving up your phone, this episode is for you. Learn more at pluckyfilter.com . Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders...
Jul 29, 2024•31 min
How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story. "We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage ! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriage Coaches, we have one big goal: guide couples to ignite deep, lasting connections to Jesus and one another—no matter where your marriage is at. Toge...
Jul 22, 2024•54 min
In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy . The F.L.O.S.S. Method: F = Fear L = Lie O = Origin Story S = Sadness S = Surrender Drew Boa is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and Coach in Color...
Jul 18, 2024•52 min
Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop. The F.L.O.S.S. Method: F = Fear L = Lie O = Origin Story S = Sadness S = Surrender Free resource mentioned in this episode: HMA Preview Lesson at husbandmaterial.com/hma-preview What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A D...
Jul 15, 2024•42 min
Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body. Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She woke up from a lifelong pattern of avoiding her emotions when her husband disclosed his sex addiction after 16 years of marr...
Jul 08, 2024•28 min
How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God. Jeremy Williamson is a storywork coach and counselor with ReStory . He is also the Director of Restorative Experiences at Restoration Project. As a former pas...
Jul 01, 2024•32 min
Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients. Related episodes: How To Heal Your Inner Child Experience Healing Through IFS Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach Experience Healing Through Psychodrama Healing Through Artwork And Storywork Attunement: The K...
Jun 24, 2024•25 min
How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or pretending like everything is fine. There is wisdom in this episode! Rocky Pisor is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Sex Addiction Mentor, Trauma-Informe...
Jun 17, 2024•41 min
"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receive a beautiful blessing from Sam. This episode is amazing! Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing...
Jun 10, 2024•47 min
Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn. Recommended resources (including paid links): Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments by Floyd Godfrey Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men Related episodes of Husband Material: Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them...
Jun 03, 2024•1 hr 1 min
