What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn. Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist an...
May 27, 2024•31 min
Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma. Free tools to process emotions: Feelings And Needs Wheel Feelings And Needs Inventory Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado on September 6-10, 2024. Sign up at husbandmaterial.com/retreat "Before the retreat, I was plagued with an overwhelming sense of sadness that I co...
May 20, 2024•27 min
What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Filipiak is a pastor, author, and the host of The Flip Side Podcast . He also blogs at noahfilipiak.com . Noah and his wife Jen have three daughters. He ...
May 13, 2024•40 min
What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam and Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple , where they help couples become intimately connected...
May 06, 2024•41 min
How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) i...
Apr 29, 2024•1 hr 4 min
How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality" If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, l...
Apr 22, 2024•43 min
Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead ins...
Apr 15, 2024•34 min
What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces." If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead ...
Apr 08, 2024•42 min
What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn? This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com Resources for Inner Healing Prayer: Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement , by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson (book & paid link) Introduction To Healing Prayer , with Leslie Weinzettel (podcast) Exper...
Apr 01, 2024•22 min
What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice Clinical Training Series with Deb Dana. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner heali...
Mar 25, 2024•25 min
We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery , a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. Boulder Recovery uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and ...
Mar 18, 2024•22 min
Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words. Helpful phrases: Tell me more… What’s it like for you... How does that affect you? That makes sense (because)... It sounds like / I hear you saying… It seems like something shifted… That stood out to me… Resources mentioned (including paid links): Attunement: The Key To Connection , podcast by Dr...
Mar 11, 2024•38 min
There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting.com/contact Check out Mike's new podcast: Healing For Male Survivors Listen on Apple Listen on Spotify Dr. Doug Carpent...
Mar 04, 2024•1 hr 44 min
What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recovery Partners and co-authored 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series. They developed the first full disclosur...
Feb 26, 2024•43 min
Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take ...
Feb 19, 2024•16 min
What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the founder and president of Be Broken , and founder of the Gateway to Freedom 3-day workshop for men. He also hosts the weekly radio program, Pure Sex Ra...
Feb 12, 2024•40 min
If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (these are paid links): Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey Of Faith And Sexual Identity No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging In A World Of Alie...
Feb 05, 2024•37 min
What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are... Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback) Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh and critical vs. gentle and kind) Checking in with your small group (lots of accountability vs. lots of attunement) Feeling the urge to watch porn (bat...
Jan 29, 2024•1 hr 21 min
How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs. Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and anxiety disorders...
Jan 22, 2024•49 min
How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing! Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She is the founder of Betrayal Healing and host of the Betrayal Healing Conference . She is passionate about ...
Jan 15, 2024•40 min
What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningful. Watch the video of this episode here: husbandmaterial.com/blog/healing-through-artwork-and-story...
Jan 08, 2024•59 min
Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself. What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one prog...
Jan 01, 2024•22 min
How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas! Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCSW, CSAT) also known as "Carol The Coach" is the author of many books and workbooks about sex addiction and par...
Dec 25, 2023•37 min
How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image. Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling , where he helps people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experie...
Dec 18, 2023•31 min
What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well. The best place to start is Husband Material Academy . Learn more at joinHMA.com What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1...
Dec 11, 2023•1 hr 1 min
What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction! Related episodes: Theology Of The Penis Unwanted Sexual Attraction Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires? Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From? What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In ...
Dec 04, 2023•17 min
What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame. Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries . They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and e...
Nov 27, 2023•49 min
What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective. Here are the case reports Adam mentioned about naltrexone: Internet sex a...
Nov 20, 2023•33 min
How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead. Pornographic recovery is: isolated escapist avoiding pain impatient passive/consuming cold and harsh. Healthy recovery is: relational embodied embracing pain resilient proactive/creative warm and kind The idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here: A Pornographic Sty...
Nov 13, 2023•34 min
What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series— which is fantastic! The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives. Check it out: The Fearless Series For Men: fs4men.com The Fearless Series For Women: fs4women....
Nov 06, 2023•26 min
