In this extended episode, you'll hear 8 dramatized examples of mistakes men make while relating to women they have sexually betrayed and traumatized. You'll learn how to offer validation, own your impact, build your confidence, and be proactive. This session from The Porn Free Man Conference will show you exactly what (not) to do to help her heal. Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's also the creator of the Inner Child R...
Apr 03, 2023•1 hr 52 min
In this episode, you'll learn 2 ways to define pornography, 6 pornographic styles of relating, and what it means to be sexually healthy and mature. Resources mentioned by Andrew Bauman: A Pornographic Style of Relating (article) What Is A Sexually Healthy Man? (article) The Psychology of Porn (book; paid link) The Sexually Healthy Man (book; paid link) Sign up for the Husband Material Virtual Retreat on May 5-7 featuring Andrew Bauman! What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop!...
Mar 27, 2023•8 min
In this episode, you'll learn what spiritual abuse is and how to heal from it. Chris Inman tells his story of being spiritual abused as a boy and how it has affected him into adulthood. Chris Inman is the creator and facilitator of Porn Free Masculinity , an online intensive recovery program for men struggling with porn and compulsive sexual behavior. He invites men to consider how the blessings and trauma of their stories have curated their unwanted sexual brokenness. Chris helps men transform ...
Mar 20, 2023•36 min
How can bullying contribute to same-sex attraction? Jordan Castille tells his story of being bullied, how that impacted his sexual development, and how Jesus brought him healing and freedom from gay porn. Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Sex Addiction Specialist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does on...
Mar 13, 2023•36 min
In this episode, Dr. Peter Malinoski guides Drew Boa through the process of unburdening sexual arousal using the internal family systems model (IFS). This type of healing experience can bring tremendous freedom from porn and unwanted sexual behavior. Disclaimer: This is what we call a demo, which is short for a demonstration. Demos are a common way for IFS therapists to practice with each other and to show others what IFS is like. Demos are not therapy or counseling. In sharing this demo, we are...
Mar 06, 2023•1 hr 20 min
In this episode, you'll be guided through an exercise using the internal family systems model (IFS). Dr. Peter Malinoski demonstrates how to connect with your "parts"—including parts that might be attached to porn and unwanted sexual behavior. Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics , a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics o...
Feb 27, 2023•33 min
In this episode, you'll learn why healing experiences are essential for outgrowing porn. Dr. Peter Malinoski explains how the internal family systems model (IFS) can help us heal by meeting the five attachment needs we all have. Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics , a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from ...
Feb 20, 2023•32 min
Have you ever wondered how much your crush, girlfriend, fiancée, or wife needs to know about your relationship with porn? In this episode, you'll learn the appropriate level of detail to share when you're single, dating, engaged, or married. This episode is challenging and necessary. ✅ Free document: Resources For Partners Of Husband Material Men Download other free documents at husbandmaterial.com/documents Further reading on therapeutic full disclosure (including paid links): What's A Therapeu...
Feb 13, 2023•37 min
If you were exposed to porn at a young age, this episode is for you. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot explains why children are not voluntary consumers of porn, and why self-compassion is essential for healing. You'll get a powerful glimpse into the humanity and vulnerability of men and women on both sides of the screen. Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He found...
Feb 06, 2023•37 min
In this episode, you'll learn four ways pornography fuels sex trafficking...and what we can do about it. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot reveals what goes on behind the scenes of pornography. Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He founded Exodus Cry in 2008 after being inspired by the life of William Wilberforce. In everything he does, Benji is driven by a convict...
Jan 30, 2023•31 min
In this episode, you'll learn two concepts that can give you less shame and more hope on your journey of outgrowing porn. Resources mentioned in this episode: Sexual Fluidity in Males and Females by Lisa Diamond The Porn Free Man 2023 Conference (now available) What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register now for HMA In A Day at husbandmaterial.com/workshop Support the show Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Jo...
Jan 23, 2023•12 min
In this episode, Rich Wyler answers tough questions with curiosity, compassion, and courage. You'll learn what it looks like to work through internal conflict around sexual arousal and personal beliefs. You'll also learn why unconditional love and acceptance is our starting point. Rich Wyler is the founder of Brothers on a Road Less Traveled (“Brothers Road”), a non-profit, multi-faith, international fellowship of men. Brothers Road is primarily for men from bisexual and same-sex attracted backg...
Jan 16, 2023•37 min
What habits are most helpful for healing and outgrowing porn? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau presents a beautiful menu of ideas to transform habits without pressure, perfectionism, or "shoulding" all over yourself in 2023. Shawn Bonneteau is a Christian pornography recovery coach and podcast host at Secret Habit . After quitting porn in the summer of 2017, he has spent his life pursuing God's call to transform relationships through coaching men to find freedom from porn. Shawn is a certified H...
Jan 09, 2023•39 min
In this episode, I'll recommend 3 resources to help you outgrow porn in 2023. Stay til the end to hear a big announcement about HMA (the doors are closing). As promised, here are my top 5 episodes of Husband Material: How To Outgrow Porn Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies Why Attachment Is The Key To Healing How To Heal Your Inner Child Register now for The Porn Free Man 2023 Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023. Get your free pass at thepornfreeman.com What are...
Jan 02, 2023•13 min
How can I help my partner heal? When she is "throwing rocks" at me, what can I do? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci shares 10 rules for healthy interaction with your grieving partner: 10 Rules: 1. No Explaining 2. No Surprises 3. Validation, Not Defensiveness 4. Don’t Wilt (Be Confident) 5. Don’t Let Your Inner Child Speak To Your Partner 6. See Her Pain 7. Walk Into The Fire 8. Communicate Before Going Out In Public 9. Own Your Impact, Not Just Your Intentions 10. Prepare Yourself Every Mo...
Dec 26, 2022•55 min
What's the difference between emotional health and emotional fitness? Why does it matter? In this episode, Sathiya Sam explains what emotional fitness looks like and how you can leverage the added stress of the holiday season to become stronger. Sathiya Sam is an entrepreneur with a passion to see people’s lives transformed. DeepClean, a program that helps men overcome pornography addiction, is Sathiya's most recent work to date. His proven process for freedom has helped everyone from college st...
Dec 19, 2022•38 min
What does it take to unlock a woman's sexual pleasure? Dr. Keith Gregoire explains how sex actually works, why we need to redefine sex, and how men can become better lovers. Keith Gregoire is a pediatrician who is passionate about building great marriages and equipping couples to parent well. He is co-author (along with his wife, Sheila Wray Gregoire) of "The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex." Together, they have been speaking to couples around the world for over fifteen years, providing healthy, ev...
Dec 12, 2022•47 min
What is a real man? Dr. Joe Martin exposes the lies we believe about our value as men, in contrast to the example of authentic manhood set by Jesus Christ. Wrong perceptions of manhood (what society says): Occupation Compensation Education Reputation Intimidation Authentic manhood is determined by: Leading spiritually Rejecting passivity Loving and serving sacrificially Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, educator, and certified builder of men. He’s the author of nine books and t...
Dec 05, 2022•1 hr 1 min
Have you been sexually attracted to yourself, or someone just like you? In this episode, you'll learn three types of self-attraction, my own personal story, and what to do if you are sexually attracted to yourself. Come to my workshop "What Do I Do With My Sexual Attractions?" at The Porn Free Man online conference on January 6-7, 2023. It's free. Register now at thepornfreeman.com Here's the Seinfeld clip I quoted: "Falling in love with someone who's just like you" - https://youtu.be/NVDT1ARABv...
Nov 28, 2022•17 min
What's it like to be a male survivor of sexual abuse? In our very first community-based episode, Husband Material men tell their stories of sexual abuse. You'll learn how to respond appropriately to the needs of male survivors. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of our community sub-group for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting@gmail.com Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and moderator in the Husband Material Community...
Nov 21, 2022•1 hr 40 min
Is there really a boy inside every man? What does "healing the boy" practically look like? Chris Bruno delightfully demonstrates how to find your younger self and bring him home. This interview is amazing! You'll come away with greater awareness, curiosity, kindness, and healing. Chris Bruno is the Co-Founder and CEO of Restoration Project , and Founder of ReStory Counseling , devoting his life to helping people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience he...
Nov 14, 2022•49 min
Outgrowing porn is not easy. The process is often messy and prolonged. That's why some men have found value in writing a formal break-up letter to pornography. This episode will give you a simple structure to write your own break-up letter. You can also use this structure to break up with an abusive partner or any other unwanted sexual behavior, fantasy, or attachment. Download the free PDF worksheet: How To Break Up With Porn What are you doing this Saturday? Come to our free workshop! Register...
Nov 07, 2022•12 min
"Our most vital relational need is to be emotionally safe...we cannot truly connect with anyone if we don't feel safe in their presence." —Alex Avila But what is emotional safety, exactly? How can you tell if a person or relationship is safe or unsafe? Christian therapist Alex Avila explains what it looks like to protect our hearts while giving and receiving "safer love." SAFER LOVE: S = Slow and soft A = Appreciation F = Feelings E = Empathy R = Responsibility L = Listening O = Openness V = Val...
Oct 31, 2022•36 min
"Your failure in sexuality is what qualifies you to talk to your son about sex in the first place." In this fascinating episode, a father and son tell their story of learning to talk about emotions and sex together. John and Lucas Fort explain what does(n't) work, what's (not) appropriate, and why imperfection is necessary for connection. Buy John and Lucas's book (this is a paid link): Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship John Fort serves as Director of Training for Be Brok...
Oct 24, 2022•49 min
Anti-porn accountability software has come under scrutiny after an article in WIRED Magazine described Covenant Eyes as "shameware" and "just another way the church controls you.” In this episode, you'll hear what's going on, what I think about accountability software, and how to decide if it's right for you. Article in WIRED Magazine: The Ungodly Surveillance of Anti-Porn ‘Shameware’ Apps My top recommendation for accountability software: Covenant Eyes For those of you who use accountability so...
Oct 17, 2022•22 min
Rick Carlson spent years running from pain, hiding from others, and hating God... until everything changed. In this episode, Rick shares his story of prenatal trauma, physical differences, self-hatred, substance abuse, porn use, and his healing journey over the past 12 years. "Your greatest pain can become your greatest purpose." —Rick Carlson Rick Carlson is the founder of Comeback Coaching. As a Certified Husband Material Coach, Life Coach, and Pastor, Rick is passionate about walking with men...
Oct 10, 2022•34 min
Do you know what it's like to struggle with depression or anxiety in addition to porn? Ben Bennett does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Ben unpacks how mental health challenges and unwanted sexual behavior are related. Using a mix of science and Scripture, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important! Ben Bennett is an author, podcast host, and speaker with Josh McDowell Ministry as the Director of Resolution Movement –a global movement helping pe...
Oct 03, 2022•32 min
Listen to my sermon about embodied brotherhood from the recent Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara. Psalm 133 (NIV 1984) "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore." The Beauty Of Brotherhood Sermon on Psalm 133 ...
Sep 26, 2022•41 min
Marnie Ferree understands sex addiction from both sides: from personal experience, and from being a partner. In this episode, Marnie shares her story of grief and growth after discovering her own sexual betrayal trauma. Marnie Ferree is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, where she directs Bethesda Workshops, which provides Christian-based treatment for sex addicts, their partners, couples, and teens affected by sexual addiction. Learn more at bethesdaworkshops.org ...
Sep 19, 2022•32 min
What is intimate deception betrayal trauma? Why is it so hard for partners of porn users to get help? When it comes to healing, what (doesn't) work? Dr. Sheri Keffer explains how porn impacts partners—and more importantly, what we can do about it. She even guides you on how to share this episode with your wife or girlfriend without triggering her. If you're married, your wife will love hearing from Dr. Sheri! Dr. Sheri Keffer is the author of Intimate Deception (paid link) and a regular cohost o...
Sep 12, 2022•54 min
