Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don’t treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he’s going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the time Arthur’...
Jul 26, 2022•33 min
Every time Karen gets a phone call from her adult children her heart sinks. Even at age 23 and 21, they’re usually calling with a problem. She’s received calls for everything from flat tires to mental health emergencies. While she loves her kids and wants to always be a safe place for them to land, she really wants them to gain more independence. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Arthur Brooks, a Harvard University professor who studies the science of happiness and writes a column for the ...
Jul 19, 2022•35 min
For a lot of would-be parents, adoption isn’t the first path that comes to mind. But that’s how Victoria, a PhD student, is leaning right now. Even though she’s not planning to have a family for a few more years, it’s never too early to start preparing for what can be a long, arduous process. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Marcia Chatelain, Pulitzer Prize winning author, professor of history and African-American studies at Georgetown, and former co-host of The Waves. Marcia spent five y...
Jul 12, 2022•35 min
In 2019, Brenda took a year off from their PhD program to try to feel pleasure again…with anything. Brenda has come a long way since then but there’s one thing that’s still elusive—they’ve never experienced an orgasm. Whenever they try, anxiety kicks in and they’re left feeling frustrated and, in their words “broken.” On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ev’Yan Whitney, sex educator, author, and host of the podcast Sensual Self. Ev’Yan has some wonderful wisdom for learning about your body an...
Jul 05, 2022•41 min
Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters’ underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she doesn’t put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate, comedian, actress, author of Little Weirds and voice of Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, opens up abo...
Jun 28, 2022•36 min
Coming out of the worst of the pandemic, a lot of us need to relearn how to socialize, from what to say to what to wear. Our listener, Kristen, is headed back to the office and wants to feel like a boss. The only problem? She looks at her wardrobe and doesn’t know where to begin. On this episode of How To!, we bring in celebrity stylist Leesa Evans to give her a crash course in clothing. Leesa has helped some famous clients (i.e. Amy Schumer) discover fashion that is both functional and flatteri...
Jun 21, 2022•41 min
We all know the country is deeply fractured right now, and that’s especially true in our politics. There is vitriol, bitter partisanship and an expectation that in order to succeed you need to beat up on your opponent. So is it possible to fight for your beliefs, remain civil and still win elections? On this episode of How To!, we brought together two politicians from either side of the aisle who are living proof that we can practice politics with humanity. Utah Governor Spencer Cox and Vermont ...
Jun 14, 2022•42 min
Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don’t identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she’s struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren’t very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fellow mom of a nonbinary child and former president of PFLAG Oklahoma City, to help Karin come to term...
Jun 07, 2022•35 min
Elizabeth’s son Lucas is a talented athlete who wants to compete in track and field at an NCAA Division One school. But so far he’s been running away from doing any research or planning. His mother, Elizabeth, wants to help him be recruited and maybe even get a scholarship. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Steve Magness, performance expert, former track coach for the University of Houston, and author of Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughne...
May 31, 2022•37 min
Daniel seems to be the whole package. He’s smart, social, and has lots of friends. He even organizes a beach volleyball league in Berlin. But he can’t seem to land a date despite his best efforts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Andrea Silenzi, dating aficionado and host of the acclaimed dating podcast Why Oh Why. She knows what it’s like to put a ton of effort into dating and not land the relationship she wants. Now married, she shares how she broke through a decade of bad dates and has...
May 24, 2022•37 min
After experiencing multiple instances of sexual assault, Julia often feels sexually disconnected from her own body. She wants to be aware of her boundaries and find pleasure in new relationships going forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jamila Dawson, licensed marriage and family therapist, and August McLaughlin, health and sexuality journalist and host of Girl Boner Radio. Together they wrote With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. They share...
May 17, 2022•39 min
When Samantha and her husband moved from a condo to a fairly large house, they knew they’d have a lot of updating and upkeep to do. But they had no idea how much time their new chores would gobble up. Or even what chores to do. (If only there was a guide to adulting!) Even when they weren’t holding themselves to picture-perfect standards, it still felt like they were barely keeping their heads above water. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Kendra Adachi, she’s a best-selling author, podcas...
May 10, 2022•36 min
When Betsy joined her last workplace, she thought it was a perfect fit. It was on a list of Best Places to Work and she got to be creative while helping people. But as the startup rapidly grew, the company culture changed and Betsy started to lose herself amid the stress. Then she got laid off. Honestly, Betsy was relieved, but now she’s gotta figure out what’s next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Altucher, author, podcaster, and all-around interesting person. He’s both created su...
May 03, 2022•35 min
When the Taliban took over Afghanistan in August, the Female Tactical Platoon, a unit of elite Afghan soldiers, knew they had to evacuate. “If they were captured, they would be killed,” according to a Green Beret who worked alongside them because they were “an affront to everything the Taliban stood for.” Ellie, a U.S. Army Captain, moved earth and heaven to get them to America. But navigating the U.S. refugee resettlement system proved much more difficult than they expected. On this episode of ...
Apr 26, 2022•37 min
The town of Dartmouth, Massachusetts is in the middle of a mascot debate that’s escalated quickly. Our listener Keith grew up there and his kids attend the high school in question. He’s been vocal about his support for changing the school’s Indian warrior logo but is wondering if there’s a better way to solve this issue than trading barbs with the opposition. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Maulian Dana, Penobscot Nation tribal ambassador, one of the four federally recognized indigenous ...
Apr 19, 2022•35 min
When Mike was wracked with a series of unexplained headaches in 2017, he initially chalked it up to being a stressed out grad student. But the pain became debilitating and his symptoms only multiplied from there. His doctors are stumped and Mike doesn't know where to turn next. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Meghan O’Rourke, author of The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness. Meghan has been on her own medical journey for years and has some extremely helpful advice for finding...
Apr 12, 2022•35 min
You’ve probably heard about the importance of journaling, putting thoughts on paper to help process the daily vicissitudes of life. But it’s easy to stall once you see a blank page or get self conscious about what exactly you’re writing. On this episode of How To!, we bring together Anna Quindlen, bestselling novelist and author of the new book Write For Your Life, and John Dickerson, co-host of Slate’s Political Gabfest, CBS News reporter, author and veteran journaler. They share their wit and ...
Apr 05, 2022•39 min
If you were to pop by Mary Ann’s PhD discussion group, you’d most likely find her quietly, but intently, listening to the debate going on around her. But when it comes time to actually throw in her two cents, she comes up short. She feels nervous. Her mind goes blank. And she leaves the session feeling frustrated that she didn’t voice her thoughts. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Cuddy, author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenge. Amy has done a great dea...
Mar 29, 2022•35 min
When a fellow employee started bullying Christy at her workplace she took the situation to her supervisor, Human Resources, and even filed grievances with her union. But the situation never improved. In fact, it got worse to the point where Christy had no choice but to walk away from her job of over 30 years. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Megan Hunter – co-founder and CEO of High Conflict Institute and author of BIFF at Work: Your Guide to Difficult Workplace Communication. She offers ...
Mar 22, 2022•34 min
After Zach heard our “How To Make Friends as an Adult” episode, which coincidentally featured all women, he and a few other male listeners wrote in questioning how useful it was for men. He wondered if we could address the unique challenges men face when it comes to making new friends. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Slate staff writers Dan Kois, author of How to Be a Family, and Aymann Ismail, former host of the podcast Man Up, to coach Zach through a few easy tips. “You just gotta be s...
Mar 15, 2022•36 min
Courtenay has more than a few regrets, starting with her career. Despite her accomplishments as an opera singer, she wishes she’d prioritized her professional goals, become more proficient on the piano and with foreign languages. Then there are the personal regrets, like the elderly friend Courteney lost touch with — who then passed away. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel H. Pink, author of The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, to coach Courtenay through reclai...
Mar 08, 2022•36 min
Janey is the very definition of a woman trying to “have it all.” She’s an occupational therapist by day, a ghost writer for influencers by night and in between co-hosts a podcast. On top of that, she has two sons who play travel sports and a husband who works long hours. It’s left Janey wondering if she’ll ever catch her breath. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Westervelt, who’s no slouch herself. She’s a journalist, host of the award-winning podcast Drilled, a busy mom and author of ...
Mar 01, 2022•38 min
Winning the Olympics is everything Steve Mesler ever wanted. So when he and his U.S. bobsled teammates stood atop the podium at the 2010 Vancouver Games, his life seemed golden in every way. But soon after his triumph, Steve began to experience a period of extended mourning. Even though he won a gold medal, he lost his identity and sense of purpose. And he wasn't the only one. On this episode of How To!, the former Olympian, co-founder of Classroom Champions, and current United States Olympic an...
Feb 22, 2022•37 min
It’s been two decades since Maggie’s mom has gone to the doctor and her health is incredibly….shaky. Maggie’s mom has severe asthma and allergies which has basically isolated her from the world. With isolation has come anger and bitterness. Maggie is at a loss. She’s tried everything she can think of yet her mother refuses to get help. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Elizabeth Berg, a nurse-turned-bestselling novelist who has penned some 30 books, many focusing on family drama. Her lates...
Feb 15, 2022•33 min
Susan was concerned when she first learned that someone was impersonating her on Facebook, but that soon turned to anger when she realized the imposter had sent inappropriate photos to her real life friends. Susan tried and failed to get the account taken down. Then came the extortion letter...and now she’s freaking out a bit. On this episode of How To!, Jack Rhysider, host of Darknet Diaries and cybersecurity veteran, talks about the time he was stalked on the internet. Jack no longer shares mu...
Feb 08, 2022•37 min
Last week we learned about using the four different styles of humor to your advantage, and who makes a good target for a joke. But what if you read the room wrong and absolutely bomb? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we resume our conversation with Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terry, the most hilarious hedge fund guy we’ve ever met. They swap stories about office jokes that fell flat, how to navigate a suddenly tense situation and what t...
Feb 01, 2022•37 min
Did you know that we, as a society, have fallen off a comedy cliff? No joke. Studies have shown that we largely stop laughing when we enter our mid-twenties, which is a shame because delighting in humor has a ton of health benefits. Plus, being perceived as funny can actually make people think you’re more intelligent, more competent, and even better looking! So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Naomi Bagdonas, co-author of Humor, Seriously!, and Michael Terr...
Jan 25, 2022•37 min
Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn’t have an obvious “right” answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He’s the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year, John’s re...
Jan 18, 2022•38 min
Every year, around the same time, Peter’s apartment comes alive. The shadows begin to scuttle and the pipes creak with creepy crawlies. At least that’s how it feels. Peter is freaked out by Israel’s large flying cockroaches. Logically, he knows they don’t pose a threat. But he can’t control his visceral disgust at encountering one and his panicked vigilance in the days that follow. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Elizabeth McMahon, a clinical psychologist who has been treating phobia...
Jan 11, 2022•34 min
Every January nearly 75 percent of Americans resolve to make their lives better by losing weight. But this year we’re breaking free from the cycle of restrictive eating and spiraling shame. Journalist Virginia Sole-Smith, host and author of Burnt Toast and The Eating Instinct, has some eye-opening tips for our listener Tori that will help her ditch the scale, become more comfortable with her body, and even learn to control sugar cravings—by eating as many sweets as she wants. If you liked this e...
Jan 04, 2022•40 min
