How To! - podcast cover

How To!

Slate Podcastsslate.com
You’ve got questions. Together, we get answers. We all need advice, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to turn. Each week, Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace bring a listener on to the show to solve their toughest problems with the help of world-class experts. It’s free therapy, and you’re invited.

Episodes

How To Break the Spell of Social Media

James is head over heels in love with his wife. But there’s one thing that keeps getting in between them … the glow of her smartphone. His wife is constantly scrolling social media or staging photo ops with James and their kids to create a picture perfect life online. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. David Greenfield, the founder of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, to help James understand why it’s so hard for his wife to log off. He has some fascinating advice for ho...

Dec 28, 202136 min

How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship

One night a few months ago Elaine got a phone call out of the blue from a co-worker. She and her 12-year old daughter had checked herself into a hotel after she was beaten by husband. Elaine took her co-worker to the hospital and encouraged her to leave her husband, but a couple weeks later she was back at home. Now Elaine can’t stop worrying about her friend and wondering if (and how) she should help. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Suzanne Dubus, advocate, survivor and CEO of the J...

Dec 21, 202137 min

Our Favorite Advice of 2021

Here at How To! headquarters, we give and receive a lot of good advice. This year we ran faster, kept cool in a crisis, had the best sex of our lives, stopped snoring, and even won the Olympics. The How To! team, including former host David Epstein, gathers ‘round the mic to round up our favorite advice of the year. We talk about how we applied that advice to our own lives, share some surprising updates from folks who were on the show, and give a behind-the-scenes look at how the podcast is made...

Dec 14, 202134 min

When To Say Goodbye to a Difficult Dog

Deciding to give up your dog is not something we talk about much, especially now when our pets are more like family members. But what do you do when your dog has behavioral problems that threaten the safety of others? On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on difficult dogs, we hear more from renowned trainer Denise Fenzi and inventor and YouTuber Simone Giertz. They open up about their traumatic experiences with previous dogs and how they eventually had to give them up desp...

Dec 07, 202135 min

How To Get Your Dog to Stop Barking (Without Barking Back)

Approximately 23 million families in the US got a pet during the pandemic, many of them puppies. At their best, dogs truly are “man’s best friend,” providing real comfort and companionship. But it can be tough when your new dog isn’t adapting as well as you’d hoped. Whether it’s excessive barking, aggression towards strangers or just not getting along with family members—a difficult dog can rock your confidence and make you feel resentful. On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part seri...

Nov 30, 202137 min

How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season

Jackie is newly engaged, but thoughts about her big day fill her with dread, not excitement. Jackie and her fiance want to have only vaccinated people at their wedding to protect some vulnerable family members from COVID-19. However, requiring vaccination means Jackie’s parents and sister likely won’t attend, which would break Jackie’s heart. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nwandi Lawson, a former journalist who now runs a communications firm specializing in difficult conversations. She’...

Nov 23, 202137 min

How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job

For nearly a decade, Jono devoted all his time and energy to creating and running a customized shoe company. But, unfortunately, his start-up didn’t survive the pandemic. Now Jono is in the tricky position of transitioning from CEO to working for someone else. He’s wondering how to brand his non-linear career path and transform himself into an ideal job candidate. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Joseph Liu, a consultant who has made a career out of changing careers, and host of the podca...

Nov 16, 202136 min

How To Get Your Book Published

Shanimarie has a story in her heart, one she believes the world needs to hear. It’s a story of immigration, sacrifice and a mother’s love that this first-grade teacher wishes she had read as a young girl who moved from Jamaica to the U.S. Shanimarie has been working on the idea for a couple of years now. She’s submitted a manuscript to several publishers, but is making the rookie mistakes that most aspiring authors make. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Denene Millner, a New York Times be...

Nov 09, 202136 min

What To Do When Your Husband Becomes Your Boss

This episode is supported by Work Check, an original podcast from Atlassian. Bethany was ecstatic when her husband Travis got a promotion. They’ve been co-workers for over a decade and Bethany really valued being on equal footing. But that power balance has since gone topsy turvy. Travis is now her boss (technically her boss’s boss) and things are suddenly not equal at home or at work. Her coworkers are treating her differently, and she feels like her career identity is being overshadowed. On th...

Nov 02, 202137 min

How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump

For a behind the scenes look into some of the articles we read when we create the show, check out our Pocket collection at http://getpocket.com/slate. Every day around 2:00 p.m. Rob hits a brick wall. A busy job and two young children have zapped all of his energy, and he’s desperate to do something—anything—to make it through the rest of the workday. Enter the elusive and often guilt-ridden midday nap. But there too Rob struggles to really rest and then wake up without making things worse. On t...

Oct 26, 202137 min

How To Make Friends as an Adult

Grace and Nikki both need more friends. Grace is an ICU nurse whose best friends have moved away. Nikki is an electrical engineer who worked remotely for the last year and is now moving to a new city. Making friends as an adult is hard, but not impossible. You just have to do things differently than when you were in 6th grade. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Elizabeth Newcamp, co-host of Slate’s Mom and Dad are Fighting and the author of Dutch, Dutch, Goose, a parenting and travel blog. ...

Oct 19, 202142 min

How To Keep Cool in a Crisis

Last week we learned how to stop a public fight before it starts. But despite our best intentions, ugly confrontations still happen—sometimes with tragic consequences. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two part-series, Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions, are back to teach you what to do when a fight is already underway. Dan talks about his experience with the 2017 Portland train...

Oct 12, 202136 min

How To Stop a Fight Before It Starts

Things are a little more tense than usual these days. Stress and anxiety levels are up and so are fights in public. We’ve all heard stories of bad behavior in restaurants, airports, hospitals, school board meetings, etc. So on this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bring on Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions. They both have years of experience defusing ugly confrontat...

Oct 05, 202136 min

How To Coach Squirrelly Kids (and Screaming Parents)

When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son’s baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time and, more importantly, have fun. Which they did….until the yelling started and the season ended in a surprising loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Doug Lemov, author of the books, Teach Like a Champion and The Coach’s Guide to Teaching. Doug has some...

Sep 28, 202133 min

How To Fill an Empty Nest

Susan never really got over saying goodbye to her eldest daughter, who left for college four years ago. She knew it would be sad, but she didn’t expect to be nauseous. Now her youngest is applying to college, and she’s already dreading drop-off next fall which makes her feel like a "pathetic loser." What can Susan do to prep herself for more heartbreak and a completely empty nest? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Kelly Corrigan, best-selling author and host of the podcast Kelly Corrigan W...

Sep 21, 202135 min

How To Crack Your Kid Like a CIA Operative

Every kid sneaks a cookie from the cookie jar, but Jamie’s 8 year-old daughter Simone has taken it to the next level. If you look under her pillow or in the back of her closet, you’ll find stashes of candy wrappers and other illicit items. When confronted, Simone never cracks under pressure. Jamie is worried that if this behavior isn’t stopped soon, Simone will grow up to be a “supervillain.” On this episode of How To!, we bring on Christina and Ryan Hillsberg, authors of License to Parent: How ...

Sep 14, 202136 min

How To Live With a Dirty Family Secret

Usually when something enters Rachel’s parents’ home, it never leaves. Growing up, Rachel and her siblings tried to clean out the growing piles of junk, but her mom would often dig into the trash to retrieve whatever was tossed. Rachel finally escaped her parent’s over-stuffed house but she still worries about their safety and quality of life. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessie Sholl, author of Dirty Secret: A Daughter Comes Clean About Her Mother's Compulsive Hoarding. She knows wha...

Sep 07, 202133 min

How To Succeed When Everyone's Mad at You

Have you ever had to make an impossible decision? One that doesn’t have an obvious “right” answer. One that someone will inevitably hate. John knows this feeling all too well. He’s the superintendent for a mid-size school district in California. To say the last school year was difficult is a major understatement… John tried to ensure the safety of his students, teachers, and faculty while balancing the reality of students struggling in their virtual classes. Throughout the school year, John’s re...

Aug 31, 202138 min

How To Beat Your Hidden Biases

Do you think of yourself as a “good” person? Most of us do. You probably show others kindness and respect—no matter their age, gender, sexuality, or race, right? But our unconscious biases are often more powerful than we realize. In fact, mountains of evidence show the extent to which implicit bias is ingrained in our police departments, doctor’s offices and hiring committees, often to the detriment of marginalized groups. Our listener this week, Tim, has spent a lot of time thinking about his p...

Aug 24, 202135 min

How To Repair a Broken Relationship Before It's Too Late

It’s painful for Barbara to think back on her son Ethan’s childhood. For years Ethan was caught between feuding parents until, one day, Ethan went to live with his dad and never came back. Barbara regrets not fighting harder for her son or at least communicating better. Now she wants to ask for a second chance before it’s too late—but isn’t sure how to go about it. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series, we continue with Amy Baker, a developmental psychologist who specialize...

Aug 17, 202137 min

How To Reconnect with Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce

Barbara survived a divorce so brutal that she refers to it as ‘The War of the Roses.’ Perhaps the most painful casualty was the severing of her relationship with her son, Ethan. Decades have passed and Ethan is now married with kids of his own, who Barbara adores. But due to their chilly, distant relationship, Barbara doesn’t get to see them as much as she’d like. Can Barbara repair their broken relationship before it’s too late? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we bri...

Aug 10, 202134 min

How To Never Miss a Deadline

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can’t meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she’s a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist. Avalon’s tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Christopher Cox, author of The Deadline Effect: How To Work Like It’s the Last Minu...

Aug 03, 202131 min

How To Ditch Your Distractions Once and For All

There’s one thing that all of Helena’s personal projects have in common: they remain unfinished. The family photo album is empty, as is her mom’s recipe book. And the lavender garden is still unplanted. Helena is not lazy. In fact, she’s a busy lawyer who has no problem finishing tasks at the office. But she’s also a busy mother raising a family, and free time is hard to come by. So how can Helena banish her distractions? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series on time managem...

Jul 27, 202137 min

Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What?

Winning the Olympics is everything Steve Mesler ever wanted. So when he and his U.S. bobsled teammates stood atop the podium at the 2010 Vancouver Games, his life seemed golden in every way. But soon after his triumph, Steve began to experience a period of extended mourning. Even though he won a gold medal, he lost his identity and sense of purpose. And he wasn't the only one. On this episode of How To!, the former Olympian, co-founder of Classroom Champions, and current United States Olympic an...

Jul 20, 202136 min

How To Make a Big Purchase Without Panicking

Alexandra and her boyfriend want to buy a house, but they’re looking in one of the hottest housing markets in the U.S. So when they got outbid for their dream home, Alexandra was secretly relieved. Spending money, even if it’s something she can afford, is absolutely terrifying to her. Alexandra grew up homeless and even though she’s now a lawyer, she has a hard time ever feeling financially secure. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Athena Lent, founder of Money Smart Latina and financial a...

Jul 13, 202136 min

How To Fight Outrageous Medical Bills

Rich thought nothing of going to the hospital for a routine colonoscopy—until he got the bill. Even with insurance, Rich is on the hook for nearly $2,000, way more than he ever expected. It’s particularly painful because Rich was planning to finally pay off his credit card debt before getting married. So what can he do? Our expert this week has a suggestion—don’t pay the bill, at least, not at first. On this episode of How To!, we bring on investigative reporter Marshall Allen, author of Never P...

Jul 06, 202135 min

How To Trick Your Brain Into Running Longer

Have you ever thought about running but been too intimidated to start? Or maybe you’ve already got an after-work jogging routine and need tips on how to increase your endurance? On this episode of How To!, we reveal the game-changing, unexpected running tips you didn’t know you needed with the help of Alex Hutchinson, author of Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance, and Shannon Palus, a Slate senior editor and marathon runner. Our experts say the key to runnin...

Jun 29, 202133 min

I'm a Recovering Alcoholic. I'm Afraid My Kids Will End Up Like Me.

Lee is worried that one day soon her 25-year-old adopted daughter, who is pregnant and struggling with a drug addiction, will show up on her doorstep with a baby in tow. How will she be able to explain the situation to her other daughter, who’s only 6 years old? And how can she prepare her for the day she’ll confront drugs and alcohol herself? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jessica Lahey, a teacher and the author of The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Depende...

Jun 22, 202133 min

After a Year of Survival, How to Start Living Again

For the past year, Brandon has been terrified of leaving his apartment. And so he’s settled into an extreme pandemic routine. He cooks all of his own meals, has yet to see his parents, and on the rare occasion he takes the trash out, still wears double masks, rubber gloves and safety goggles. Brandon has been fully vaccinated for weeks now but the very low risk of a breakthrough Covid case seems like a grave danger because a few years ago he suffered another incredibly rare viral infection. On t...

Jun 15, 202133 min

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life

Ever since she started taking a new medication a few years ago, Meme is worried that she’s lost her sex drive. She still has a great relationship with her husband, but she isn’t interested in sex the way that she used to be, and she’s worried it’s hurting her marriage. On this episode of How To!, we bring on sex educator Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, to coach Meme through how to revamp her sex life. For busy couples, you should actually schedule a time on your calendar to be intimate...

Jun 08, 202135 min