It's episode 176, and that's something you can't unsee. Bird Box (2019) paints a post-apocalyptic world in which the mere sight of a mysterious supernatural entity causes people to die by suicide. Can Malorie, alongside her creatively named children 'Boy' and 'Girl', survive a harrowing 48 hour trip downriver in a raft, remaining blindfolded the entire time? Blindfolds at the ready as we discuss the vogue of sensory deprivation horror, the vagueries of Bird Box's world, the one time of day it ma...
Jan 23, 2019•47 min
It's episode 175, and you're just a freak in a cheap suit. The Dark Knight (2008) tells the story of Bruce Wayne, aka Batman, aka The Dark Knight, aka The Caped Crusader as he teams up with Gotham's new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to take on The Joker. Will they stop him before his diabolical plan is realised? We talk about human resourcing in major city police departments; the dangers of over-reliance on technology; and the strangest dinner party exchange in any movie ever (which wasn't in ...
Jan 16, 2019•1 hr 24 min
It's episode 174, and am I not supposed to have what I want, what I need? What am I supposed to do?. Spider-Man 2 (2004) tells the story of Peter Parker as he adjusts to life as a young adult. Pete is stretched thin, burning the candle at both ends to keep up with the demands of studying, delivering pizzas, and being Spider-Man. Something has to give - and something needs to be done about the dreaded Dr. Octopus - New York's newest supervillain. We talk about the best setting for nuclear experim...
Jan 09, 2019•53 min
Christmas may be over, but festive fever is still high at the How to Survive podcast. All together now: Download podcast, sesame. We're back once again, tackling our favourite movie series ever - one which is fast becoming a true horror franchise. It's Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002). We talk about all the very slight problems of the film: Casting, costuming, scripting, cinematography, editing, pacing and much much more. And of course, the many positives of the movie too (you'll just ...
Dec 26, 2018•44 min
It's the most wonderful time of the year, and that can only mean one thing - a bonus episode of How to Survive about a woefully inappropriate family-friendly Christmas film! This year we're donning our red and white hats and letting Rudolph guide our way through The Santa Clause, the 1994 classic family Christmas romp with an immensely sinister undertone of magical indentured servitude which robs hapless individuals of their lives in exchange for years of thankless service followed by total dema...
Dec 24, 2018•42 min
It's episode 173, and you could be brilliant, but you're a coward. Black Swan tells the story of amitious but anxious prima ballerina Nina, who is preparing for the dual starring roles in a revolutionary production of Swan Lake. But as the stress of her impending performance takes its toll, Nina's psychological demons come to the fore. We talk about the subjective vs. the objective, unpack the best depictions of mental health crises in cinema, cringe over the most overbearing of overbearing moth...
Dec 19, 2018•57 min
It's episode 172b, and we need guilt, Doctor. And shame. But not yours. As with the original, Suspiria (2018) tells the story of Susie Bannion, a young woman who joins a German dance school. Are the teachers of the school witches? Yes. Will the movie become increasingly and unrelentingly bizarre? You betcha. We talk about Tilda Swinton in the roles of a lifetime; the importance of understanding cause and effect; and the importance of timing your accusations of witchcraft. All of which leads to o...
Dec 12, 2018•44 min
It's episode 172a, and we must get rid of that bitch of an American girl. Vanish! She must vanish! Make her disappear! Understand? Vanish, she must vanish! Suspiria (1977) is the story of Suzy Bannion, a new student at the prestigious Tanz Dance Academy, Munich who begins to suspect that something is amiss following the brutal murders of several students, all of whom suspected the teachers were witches. But are they really witches? Yes. They are witches. We talk about Giallo, Argento, looking be...
Dec 12, 2018•40 min
It's episode 171 and this is for all you new people: I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll kill you myself! Welcome to the Roughnecks! Starship Troopers (1997) is the story of Johnny Rico and his friends, who graduate from high school and immediately join earth's galactic military in order to wage war on a foreign planet inhabited by gigantic insects. We talk about securing the right tools for the job; remind ourselves of the basics of gun safety; a...
Dec 05, 2018•1 hr 3 min
It's episode 170 and my dad thinks I'm on drugs. My mom thinks I'm crazy. And, you know, at this point, I don't know if I don't disagree with her. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) tells the story of Jesse, a young man who moves into the home previously occupied by the victim of A Nightmare on Elm Street. He is haunted by Freddy Krueger in his dreams - and compelled to murder on his behalf. Will he be able to overcome Freddy's manipulation? We talk about bad parenting, bad pol...
Nov 27, 2018•57 min
It's episode 169 and the promise of the Divine is but an illusion. Nothing in this world is pure... except for the How to Survive podcast. Apostle (2018) tells the story of Thomas. Called upon to rescue his sister from a religious cult on a Welsh island, Thomas gets more than he bargained for when the cult's rituals appear to hide a terrifying secret. We talk about thorough investigative measures; terrible contraception advice; the importance of stealth in an assassination. Whatever happens, one...
Nov 21, 2018•54 min
The Final Destination franchise is a staple for horror movie fans. Despite having no clear antagonist, the threat of an inescapable and horrifically violent demise kept audiences glued to their seats for over a decade. The franchise is often requested by listeners, and Chris and Joe felt it was finally time to board the proverbial plane; pull out into the proverbial traffic; keep their hands and feet inside the proverbial vehicle; attend the proverbial Nascar event; and... get caught in the prov...
Nov 20, 2018•13 min
It's episode 168 and what happened here, happened to me. Hold the Dark (2018) tells the story of Russell - an expert in wolves. Russell is summoned to Alaska to investigate some wolves who have been taking children - and ends up in the middle of something nobody could have seen coming. We talk about the risks of being instantly boiled to death; the importance of choosing your suppliers wisely, and equally the importance of questioning a brief. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Your daddy w...
Nov 14, 2018•45 min
It's episode 167 and that was my favourite shirt! Mandy (2018) tells the story of Red and Mandy - lovers who have moved into the wilderness to live in the comfort of each other's company. All that is thrown into disarray when a passing cult leader becomes infatuated with Mandy - and what happens next has to be seen to be believed... We talk about bringing a gun to a chainsaw fight; spotting drug misuse in the people around you; and the benefits of making sure vengeful people can't enact their re...
Nov 07, 2018•40 min
It's episode 166 and our favourite time of the year... Halloween (2018) is the story of Laurie and Michael Myers, set 40 years after their first encounter in the movie of the same name in 1978. Laurie has spent the intervening decades stockpiling weapons and ruining her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter - but all of that is turned upside down when Michael Myers escapes from prison and returns to Hadonfied... We talk about the most boring villain in movie history; the importance of...
Oct 31, 2018•1 hr 12 min
It's episode 165 and it's probably a glitch... Unfriended (2014) tells the story of a group of friends who are Skyping, instant messaging, texting, Facebooking, emailing and Instagramming each other one evening - when all of a sudden all of those messaging platforms appear to become haunted by the spirit of their dead schoolfriend. Is it a glitch? A hacker? Or are they really being haunted over the internet from beyond the grave? We talk about the difficulties of sympathising with the world's wo...
Oct 24, 2018•58 min
It's episode 164 and if you dislike workplace disputes, don't apply to work at Belko. The Belko Experiment (2016) tells the story of Mike Milch, who works for international corporation 'Belko' in its Colombia office. One day, the doors and windows are sealed shut, and the employees are ordered to kill each other or be killed themselves. The Belko Experiment has begun... We talk about passive resistance against in a Total War scenario; the importance of picking your fights wisely; and we enjoy a ...
Oct 16, 2018•1 hr 14 min
It's episode 163 and we're paell-ing on the gore in possibly the best found-footage film ever made! REC (2007) follows news reporter Angela, and her cameraman Pablo, as they follow Barcelona firemen on a routine night of work. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, just hordes of the rabid undead and heinous religious abuse. We talk Spanish history, the best splat sound in horror history and the benefits of a little bit of health & safety planning. Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: If this ...
Oct 10, 2018•53 min
It's episode 162... and maybe the best horror sequel ever... This week, Creep 2 (2017), in which another videographer is drawn into the path of Josef. Josef now calls himself Aaron, and this time he's hoping to collaborate with Sara. Will Sara's desire to make an interesting YouTube video cause her to become ensnared in Aaron's trap - or will she turn the tables? We talk about sensible knife-holstering; un-sensible view finder positioning; and why a professional approach to editing and Video SEO...
Oct 03, 2018•49 min
It's episode 161... and in space... no-one can hear you snore... This week, Alien³ (1992), David Fincher's first movie, as 'We love franchises' season wraps up. Alien³ tells the story of Ellen Ripley who, having survived the events of Aliens, now has to fight another Alien (which also somehow survived). This time the showdown is on a planet inhabited by a band of all-male space prisoners who haven't seen a woman in years, and don't have any weaponry to speak of. We talk about the common-sense fo...
Sep 26, 2018•59 min
It's episode 160... and I've heated up some warm milk for you, honey. This week we're kicking off our latest franchise: A Nightmare on Elm Street. You may remember us covering A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) way back in episode 7 - but don't worry, we're revisiting it with fresh eyes nearly three years on - ready to kick off the latest How to Survive Franchise. Strap in for 90 weeks of excitement! We talk about the correct handling of evidence both before and after a trial (and subsequent vigil...
Sep 19, 2018•1 hr 3 min
It's episode 159... and I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf! This week, An American Werewolf in London (1981), which tells the story of David, a backpacker who is bitten by (you guessed it) a werewolf while on a trip to (you guessed it) London. David begins seeing visions which seem to indicate he'll transform into a beast at the next full-moon, but are the visions right, or is he going mad? We talk about the efficient use of firearms; making good on apparent interdimensional conveya...
Sep 12, 2018•42 min
It's episode 158... and this one who's blind... She's the one that can see. Don't look now, but this week's movie is Don't Look Now (1973) - a movie about a couple whose loss leaves them feeling lost. John and Laura seek to escape their grief in Venice - but it's easier said than done for their pair, as their grip on reality begins to unravel. A safe and healthy dose of health and safety leads the conversation; but look out for our fashion tips for murderers; and more thematic comparisons than y...
Sep 05, 2018•43 min
A slight break in the scheduled programming while we carry out some essential podcast admin. (Totalling up votes for the next horror movie-franchise; negotiating licensing on our life-rights with Hollywood studios who want to make a movie out of the podcast; watching rubbish movies. That sort of thing...) As such, this week is a repeat of 2016's Halloween 'Trick': Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit. No doubt you'll listen to the end, but don't believe the hype: Next week isn't '...
Aug 29, 2018•22 min
It's episode 157... and I'm giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trash can. This week, They Live (1988); a movie in which the wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper puts on sunglasses that allow him to see the hidden forces which capitalist aliens use to control the world. We stick it to the man with some personal finance tips for intergalactic overlords; the importance of adhering to a dress code; and Chris enjoys Joe's most concise and coherent quiz yet. Whatever happens, ...
Aug 21, 2018•59 min
It's episode 156 - and you now have the option to terminate and be cremated on the premises... In Escape from New York (1981), New York City has been turned into a prison, with giant walls keeping prisoners locked inside. Anyone who goes in may never come out, and the city is run by criminals - which is bad news for the US President, who has become stranded in the city - and for Snake Plissken, the disgraced Special Ops soldier sent in to save him. We talk about sane approaches to data protectio...
Aug 15, 2018•56 min
It's episode 155: I, Robot - Vintage, 2004. I, Robot (2004). I, Robot is the tale of Det. Del Spooner, as he seeks to solve the riddle of how a robotics engineer died. Despite the best judgement of all the world’s lawyers, scientists and engineers, Del suspects a Robot is responsible - and when technology begins to malfunction around him, could he be proved right? We talk about the most rudimentary travel safety measures going overlooked; how a basic knowledge of electronics could have solved a ...
Aug 08, 2018•1 hr 1 min
It's episode 154... last chance... download the episode, and you stay in Wonderland, and we show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. The Matrix (1999) tells the story of a hacker named 'Neo' who is drawn in by a mysterious group who want to show him the world as it really is. Is Neo humanity's saviour, 'The One'? and will he be able to stop the deadly 'Agents'? We talk about the one of the most influential movies every made; the limitations of exceptionally advanced technology; and the benefits o...
Aug 01, 2018•1 hr 5 min
It's episode 153... and I kick arse for the Lord! Braindead (1992) is called 'Dead Alive' in America, and this is the story: Lionel lives at home with his controlling mother, when he begins dating local shopkeeper, Piquita. Lionel's mother follows them on a date at the zoo, where she's bitten by a Sumatran Rat Monkey. What happens next must be seen to be believed, but have your sick bags at the ready... We talk about the most nauseating desert ever served in a movie; give some sound zoo-curation...
Jul 25, 2018•53 min
It's episode 152...and we have found you in a box... True crime writer Ellison Oswalt (yes really) is desperate for another hit, and so takes the rash decision to move his family into a house in which the previous family were brutally murdered. A box of snuff films, missing children and mysterious pagan deitys await the Oswalts in this fascinating, unique story that can only be described as 'a horror movie that came out in the early-to-mid-2010s'. We tackle spirit photography, squirrel eradicati...
Jul 18, 2018•1 hr 11 min
