It's episode 151...and it's a g'day for an apocalypse. Cargo (2018) tells the story of one family's struggle to survive both the harsh conditions of the Australian outback, and a rampant contagious disease that has ravaged society. Can modern humanity outlast this apocalypse, and do they even deserve to? We throw another Martin Freeman on the barbie, tie our kangaroos down to unnecessary anniversary gifts and do battle with our greatest foe - having to record a podcast on the hottest day of the ...
Jul 10, 2018•42 min
It's episode 150... and I've heard of spirit photography before, but I've never actually seen it in person... The world's spookiest franchise has finally come to an end, as we dig into Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015). The movie tells the story of the Fleege family, as they are beset by ghostly-goings-on. Naturally, the haunting is tied directly to everything that has happened in the previous movies, but this time we get to actually see what's causing the Paranormal Activity! We d...
Jul 04, 2018•1 hr 5 min
It's episode 149... and if I don't make it back, remember you're the one who made me come here. This week, we're back on Isla Nublar for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018). The movie tells the story of Claire and Owen as they rescue the dinosaurs of Jurassic World from a volcano, and then attempt to foil an evil corporate plot to exploit the animals. We discuss whether a dinosaur would make a useful weapon; whether there are better ways to cover up genetic experimentation; and we think about ...
Jun 27, 2018•57 min
It's episode 148... and I never wanted to be your mother. This week: 2018's Hereditary. Laugh's abound in the story of Annie and her family as they grapple with bereavement, trauma, grief, and paranormal goings-on. Are they seeing ghosts, or going nuts? Are they being haunted, or have they just lost their heads? We talk about the benefits of preparing for medical maladies; the importance of health and safety equipment in the presence of freaky events; and we realise that maybe everything won't b...
Jun 20, 2018•1 hr
It's episode 147... and I feel like I know this place. I recognise this text box. This week is Triangle (2009). The story of a young woman who joins some new friends for a yacht party, only to have their voyage interrupted by a storm. The storm passes, and they board a creepy ship for rescue - but that's when things get really weird. We give practical advice for first dates; pull out a classic tip from the movie survival handbook; and agree on the many benefits of arranging childcare for your ki...
Jun 13, 2018•58 min
It's episode 146... and It's a game. It's a process of elimination. The last man standing gets to walk out of here alive. This week it's Circle (2015), a movie about a group of people who wake up to find themselves standing in a circle, forced to vote every two minutes to decide who should die next until only one remains. Twists abound as we chat about a movie which throws away any goodwill it developed; we talk about who we liked and didn't like best in a group of complete strangers; and we put...
Jun 06, 2018•52 min
It's episode 145...and do you think that taxpayers would like it if they knew that they were paying a federal agent to surf and pick up girls? This week it's Point Break (1991), and precocious 17-year-old Johnny Utah is spending the days with his family at their 17th-century villa in Lombardy, Italy. He soon meets Bodhi, a handsome doctoral student. Amid the sun-drenched splendor of their surroundings, Johnny and Bodhi discover the heady beauty of awakening desire over the course of a summer tha...
May 30, 2018•50 min
It's episode 144... and above 24,000, you're at the vertical limit, you're already dying. Look at you. You can hardly stand. If you think you can stop me, go ahead. Vertical Limit (2000) tells the story of Peter and Annie, a brother and sister who find themselves atop K2 some years after they were involved in a climbing accident which killed their father. Now bad luck has befallen them again, and Annie is trapped in an avalanche near the summit, and it's up to Peter to lead a team to save her. W...
May 22, 2018•54 min
It's episode 143... and we have your woman outlander! She still lives! Children of the Corn (1984) tells the story of Burt and Vicky, two Outlanders, on their way to a new life on the other side of America. They pass through a series of cornfields, and soon find themselves in a town where there are no adults, only shrill children. Where are the adults? Who are the children? And who walks behind the rows? We discuss the key tenets of being an effective lookout; the simplicity of killing or maimin...
May 15, 2018•51 min
It's episode 142... and I thought I'd gone to the limits. I hadn't. The Cenobites gave me an experience beyond limits. Pain and pleasure, indivisible. Hellraiser (1987) tells the story of Frank, a sexual deviant who decides to push the boundaries of human experience by opening up a portal to another world. Consequently, he loses his human body, and has to get it back in the most convoluted way imaginable, with the assistance of his husband's wife (his own former lover). We discuss an occam's raz...
May 08, 2018•53 min
It's episode 140... and who are we if we can't protect them? we have to protect them. A Quiet Place (2018) tells the story of the Abbott family. Rare survivors of a deadly attack from creatures which hunt based on sound alone. The slightest sound could be enough to get your torn limb from limb, so what better way to discuss it than in a purely audio-based format. We discuss the mealy-mouthed advice given by film-survival amateurs on the internet; the mealy-mouthed advice given by us, the experts...
May 01, 2018•55 min
It's episode 140... and Man, if I could travel through time, I'd timeportal my ass to the Bahamas. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014) tells the story of three teenagers who experience paranormal activity taking place around their home. Luckily, they film everything with handheld video cameras, so we get to watch it play out in all its predictable, preposterous glory. We discuss the dangers of using the wrong weapons to ambush gang members; the importance of questioning the brief before ...
Apr 25, 2018•46 min
It's an episode which falls between episodes 139 and 140... Perhaps you're hungry for Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones... well if you're that hungry, you can go eat your sh*t... The Babadook (2014) tells the story of Amelia, a woman raising her son alone after her husband is killed. Coping with grief, isolation and an unruly child takes its toll on Amelia, and her life begins to be invaded by the sinister leading character from a particularly unpleasant pop-up book. We discuss the benefits o...
Apr 17, 2018•33 min
It's episode 139... and what are they? It's pretty goddamn obvious what they are. Lab coats, badges, THOSE PEOPLE USED TO WORK HERE! Resident Evil (2002) tells the story of a crack-team of mercenaries who are sent into the headquarters of the shady 'Umbrella Corporation' following the leak of a biological weapon. The new virus appears to be able to reanimate the dead, creating an unstoppable killing machine. Will the team escape before it's too late? We discuss some very basic logical flaws in t...
Apr 11, 2018•40 min
It's episode 138...and you messed with the wrong podcast. Tomb Raider (2018) tells the story of Lara Croft. Ten years after the mysterious disappearance of her father, Lara finds out where he might have ended up - and sets off on a mission to find him. Along the way she gets caught up in a conspiracy she couldn't have imagined - and will have to fight to survive. We discuss the importance of relaying clear safety plans; shooting first and never asking questions; and never visiting spooky islands...
Apr 04, 2018•48 min
It's episode 137...and it's not destroying...it's making something new. Annihilation (2018) tells the story of Lena, a biologist whose husband returns from a mysterious military mission only to fall gravely ill shortly afterwards. In order to save him, she joins an expedition following in her husband's footsteps to 'The Shimmer', a strange, expanding, luminescent cloud engulfing a coastal region in Florida. Will she discover the key to her husband's survival...or something much more unsettling? ...
Mar 28, 2018•1 hr 12 min
It's episode 136... and my old scoutmaster used to say 'If the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route'. The Ritual (2017) tells the story of four friends who travel into the Swedish mountains to commemorate the loss of their close friend. During the trip, one of the group becomes injured, and they decide to take a 'short cut' to civilisation through a forest. Before long, unexpected and unsettling things begin to happen, and they realise they are in...
Mar 21, 2018•48 min
It's episode 135... and somewhere in the world, the wrong pig met up with the wrong bat. Contagion (2011) tells the story of a number of separate people who are all linked by their involvement in the outbreak of a deadly disease. Researchers, World Health Organisation workers, Conspiracy theorists and everyday people (played by a star-studded cast) are in a race against time to save the world from the spread of a fatal virus. We talk about the benefits of a vegan diet; the importance of washing ...
Mar 14, 2018•55 min
It's episode 134... and this is how we fix problem in the Russian space station! Armageddon (1998) tells the story of Harry Stamper and his crew of high-testosterone, middle-American, low-rate oil rig workers. After a meteor the size of Texas is detected, headed towards earth, the crew are trained as astronauts and sent into space so they can drill into the asteroid and blow it up with nuclear bombs. No, really. We talk about the mismatch in on-the-job training given to oil rig workers in compar...
Mar 07, 2018•1 hr 7 min
It's episode 133 and we're going to get you. We're going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep. The Evil Dead (1981) tells the story of four students who head to a cabin in the woods to celebrate spring break. Before long, they accidentally uncover a magic book, and accidentally raise the dead. As if thats not bad enough, the dead they raise is evil! Will they make it out alive? We talk about the a common-sense approach to nighttime safety; the benefits of chopping up your dead life ...
Feb 28, 2018•39 min
It's episode 132 and this is an accident, a forgotten, perpetual public works project. You think anybody wants to ask questions? All they want is a clear conscience and a fat paycheck. Cube (1997) tells the story of a group of people who are trapped in a gigantic cube, made of thousands of smaller cubes. A large number of the cubes are filled with dreadful booby traps. Will they put their differences aside to escape? Do the numbers on the floor indicate the route forward? We talk about the impor...
Feb 21, 2018•49 min
It's episode 131 and against all odds, we've finally covered a movie about astral projection. Insidious (2010) tells the story of Renai and Josh, young parents who have just moved into a new home. When their eldest son falls into a medically unexplained coma, weird things start happening in their home - and nothing is as it seems (and nothing is as it could be predicted or worked out in a thousand years of guessing). We talk about understanding your abilities when in a new environment; the impor...
Feb 14, 2018•1 hr
It's episode 130 and that can only mean one thing - the fourth instalment in the classic Paranormal Activity franchise! Paranormal Activity 4 (2012) continues the ongoing saga of Katie, Toby and Hunter, this time told through the clumsier-than-ever framing device of a self-obsessed teenage neighbour who (for some reason) records everything in her life on a video camera. We talk about the often random nature of the titular paranormal activity, the risks of secretly sedating your children and the ...
Feb 07, 2018•48 min
It's episode 129...and bon appetit! Raw (2016) tells the story of Justine, a young vegetarian girl who begins a new life at veterinary school. She is met with intense initiation ceremonies, late nights, parties, and the sudden irrepressible urge to eat meat... of all kinds. We talk about the half-measures of vegetarianism; the importance of teaching your children about the risks of chicken as a gateway food to human; and Joe talks about being a vegan again. Obviously. Whatever happens, one thing...
Jan 31, 2018•43 min
It's episode 128...and I think they want us for dinner tonight! Cannibal Holocaust (1980) tells the story of Harold Monroe, a sociologist sent into the Amazonian rainforest to find out what happened to a missing documentary crew. Cannibal Holocaust is honestly a terrible film. Don't bother watching it. I'm not even sure why we watched it. I think someone asked us to cover it once in an email or a tweet but I can't remember. In many ways I can't remember anything before I watched Cannibal Holocau...
Jan 24, 2018•46 min
It's episode 126...and I lost my daughter to the abyss, but tonight I am calling her back. The Void (2016) tells the story of Dan, a police officer who comes across an injured man and takes him to the hospital. At the hospital, weird stuff starts to happen, including horrific mutations of nurses into monsters; the appearance of a sinister group of violent cult members; inexplicable power outages; and murder most foul. We talk about the security of a good hiding place; the importance of knowing w...
Jan 17, 2018•46 min
It's episode 126...and be afraid... be very afraid... The Fly (1986) tells the story of Seth Brundle, a scientist who invents a way to transport objects through space. When testing the machine on himself, he accidentally fuses his DNA with that of a fly which was trapped in the machine - and he begins to slowly turn into a man/fly hybrid! We talk about the benefits of the boys in blue; the convenience of insect repellent sprays; and we finally answer once and for all: which animal is it best to ...
Jan 10, 2018•56 min
It's episode 125...and with great a great podcast comes great responsibility... Spider-Man (2002) tells the story of Peter Parker, a nerdy teenager who is bitten by a radioactive spider and gains: super-human strength, the ability to climb walls, the ability to shoot webs, freakish spatial awareness and cheeky wit - all the things you would associate with spiders. We talk about the dangers of lying to your friends; the benefits of shopping around for good investors; and the least competent polic...
Jan 03, 2018•44 min
It's episode 124...and I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Wonder Woman (2017) tells the origin story of Diana Prince, Amazonian Princess of Themyscira and superhero also known as (unsurprisingly) Wonder Woman. When a super spy from some Great War lands on her shores she's sure she can stop the fighting simply by killing her nemesis Ares - but has she underestimated the cruelty of man? We round off 2017 with a female-led cinematic success story, address the clanging World War...
Dec 27, 2017•46 min
Happy Boxing Day! What better way to celebrate than by watching a film with an increasingly tenuous link to the festive period? Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) reintroduces us to plucky cop John McClane, who is at the airport awaiting the arrival of his wife for the festive period. But oh no! A nefarious terrorist group are staging a mission with evil intent at the very same airport! On Christmas Eve! Of all the bad luck. We pull the cracker on this mediocre sequel, question whether it's a good id...
Dec 26, 2017•39 min
