Healing emotions for good

Many people feel trapped in life. They do not feel free. They do not feel full. They do not enjoy anything. Everything is a struggle. Many people are like this and some people are not exactly like this. Some people, many things are a struggle. Some things are not. Many people feel that their lives are just not...

Just not something. They're just not something they could be. Something's wrong. They're always trying to get somewhere, to get something. Often they'll go into the spiritual and they'll call it healing. Or they'll stay in the therapy and mental health world and they'll call it... coping. Many people are just, something's off, something's wrong. They're always trying to get something somewhere and they don't know what it is.

So the question is, what is it? Let's first go over all the wrong answers. And when I say wrong answers, it doesn't mean these answers have no truth to them. It just means it's not the full picture. And if you knew the full picture, you'd be able to make progress in your life in a way that you never have been able to before. So let's assume you've gone to therapy. You've done the mental health route.

You've likely heard that you're traumatized. You've been traumatized. You've had trauma. You've faced severe trauma, and the therapist shook his head somberly, as he told you. It's going to be a few years. You know, you got to keep with it. You got to keep doing the work. Maybe this has not been your experience. For many people, it has. you've been hurt and therefore you need to do a lot of work to heal that trauma. Maybe you've inherited limiting beliefs.

Maybe someone more of the spiritual orientation told you that. So you believe this about yourself. You believe that about yourself. So you go about trying to figure out how to change your core beliefs. Good luck. That's a, that's a rabbit hole.

The question is, what could you do to feel alive again? If you look at children, there's something so effortless, something so... natural about the way a child acts. Have you ever seen a child learn how to act and then act in kind with that learning? Have you ever seen a child be a certain way because that's the intelligent way to be? Or are they simply doing something natural without thinking about it? Is it effortless?

And can my life be effortless? Can my life be full of joy? Can my life be full of healing and health and love? Can I stop thinking about how to live all the time? Can I just live? Is there a way to just become? something natural instead of this overthinking, struggling, searching, crazy thing that I'm living that cannot be called a life.

What is it in the way? What's actually happening? Is it trauma? Am I traumatized? And therefore, is there any hope for me? Are you ready for the answer? The answer is as follows. The answer is... You are like this not because there's something wrong with you. You are like this because there's something right with you. That right is you have something called emotion. Animals have it too.

in a much more limited sense. Plants don't seem to have emotions. You have emotions. You have a beautiful range of emotions. And if you really knew what emotions were, you'd rather die. then lose them. They are you. They are what make you, you. Now that doesn't mean they're your essence. It just means that they're a property of yours that is... incredibly precious. The only problem is we as a society do not know how to deal with emotions. We can go to the moon. We can invent iPhones.

We can invent self-driving cabs and you can get deliveries by drone 30 minutes after you order something from Amazon. But we've fallen a far way away from understanding emotions. We are not damaged. We are not broken. We are not traumatized. All of these can be healed, no problem. We just need to learn how to navigate emotions. Emotional intelligence, some may call it. Now, here's a disclaimer or a caveat. These words are very in vogue. These words are very overused.

When most people use these words, they're not intending to speak about how to truly heal and feel alive again and happy and loving and joyous. passionate. They're speaking about how to manage this curse called emotions. Many view emotions as a curse. You are screwed. You've been traumatized. You've dealt with things your system cannot handle and therefore there isn't really hope for you. You just have to learn how to cope. You've spent your life not coping. Now let's teach you how to cope.

Essentially, you're terminally ill. Let's make you comfortable for the rest of your life. And there are the lucky few who have not been traumatized. And those guys, those guys, or girls, are lucky, but you're not. That's not what this means. This means once you learn how to deal with your emotions, how to truly, truly deal with them, you will be free. Permanently free. Permanently free forever. You will be happy. You will cry.

You will be joyous. You will learn how to love again. You won't think about how to deal with your kids. You will just naturally be a parent. You won't think about how to walk in the street. You will just joyously do so. You won't think so much about your work. You won't overthink your life. You won't plan everything. You won't think so hard about how to live, because living does not need thinking. Living just needs living. You were born to live, not to think about how to live.

Before we speak about what this is, there's a condition. There's only one way you can travel this path. And that is... you're willing to feel pain because perhaps your whole life you've turned everything into an elaborate pathway of escape from pain. Everything you've done is strategized to avoid the pain. Everything. Even your healings have been just

How do I get away from this pain? This is what needs to change. But you don't have to do anything. Just sit with yourself a minute and ask yourself, are you ready to feel some pain? Now, why would you take any advice from anyone that's looking to give you pain? Have you ever gone to the doctor's office and they give you pain? You don't like pain. Nobody likes pain.

But as we go through the mechanism here, we'll see that the willingness to face pain is the way out of pain. And the inability to feel pain... is the cage that will keep you in pain forever. The way out of pain is the willingness to feel it. The way into pain forever is the firm decision that I will not feel pain. So the one condition that you need to be able to heal, to truly heal, to heal from this, that you never need to look back.

is the willingness to see pain, to feel pain, to experience the pain. And let me tell you a little secret. What is bliss? Bliss is anything that's been felt through fully. You need not be afraid because you will not be in pain forever. You will not get lost in the pain. You will not die in the pain. As soon as you start seeing a lightning, things lightening up, you will realize that...

Feeling pain is the greatest gift. The ability to feel it and kiss it goodbye forever. So are we ready? Let's discuss the anatomy of emotions and what we can do practically. on a daily basis to free ourselves, free ourselves to fly, free ourselves to be like children, to live with unmitigated joy, to live recklessly.

To live beautifully. To live peacefully. To find something that cannot be described by words. Just a quality of life that just feels so good. Feels so familiar. It feels like coming home. We are emotional beings. That doesn't mean you're purely emotion. It just means one of the properties you have is emotion. Now, there's much more to you. There's much more to us. Let's talk about emotions.

when you're young you feel things many times you feel things that you cannot process you cannot handle right you can call it trauma and just identify your traumas for the rest of your life and maybe a few other lifetimes Everybody gets traumatized. Because the definition of trauma is simply emotions that you could not handle. You can get traumatized over losing a cookie. Your kids could be traumatized because you didn't change them quick enough when they were babies.

They could not handle it. They screamed, then screamed, then screamed, and you're like, I'm in the bathroom. Don't worry about trauma so much. Trauma is normal. Now, the people who've gone through severe abuse... are like, wait, trauma's normal? You're not talking to me. Well, we are. Because everyone's the same in that they've faced things they could not handle. Some of us are lucky enough to get...

A little bit of that. Some of us, well, we got mountains of it. And it doesn't really depend on outside circumstances. You can have one person that went through the same thing as another person. One person is heavy duty traumatized. One person's not because one person... It went into their system a certain way. They're like, okay, that's weird, but okay, chill. Mom, you got some issues. I hope you work on those, but I'm going to go happily live my life. Another person is like...

oh my God, I'm so bad. Look, my mother didn't love me. And they'll design a whole life based on that and we'll call them traumatized. It's the interpretation of the thing. So, but that's not our point here. The point is, everyone has trauma because trauma means an overwhelm of the system. That's A. B. Even the things that did not traumatize us, traumatize us. Meaning...

If you have not felt the implications, the impact of a specific event, it's stored in your system as trauma. So let's say your brother... went off to school right out of town and everyone celebrated they made a big party and you're like totally invisible nobody saw you nobody noticed you nobody cared and you were hurt

But the celebration was going on and you wanted to enjoy. So you're like, let me just enjoy myself now. So there's a feeling there that you didn't feel. You put it away. What happens to that feeling? does it just disappear no we are emotional beings and we are mandated to feel what we feel so you're gonna put that away in a room you have a vast warehouse and it keeps getting bigger as you grow and you put

things in all kinds of shelves. Everything eventually becomes this massive conglomerate of colorful feelings and complicated stuff. And eventually you end up as an adult with a full warehouse. of you can't call it garbage it's precious feelings feelings that this beautiful being felt but did not know what to do with

If you got whacked over the head with a belt every day by your abusive drunkard father, you're going to have a lot of stuff in that shelf in the warehouse. If you had a loving mother, but she never was able to understand something about you. then you're going to have that kind of stuff in your warehouse. It doesn't really matter what's in your warehouse. We all have stuff in our warehouse because we're all beautiful, loving beings. We have feelings because we love.

I love you, Mother, and that's why I'm so hurt that you didn't see me. I love my children, and therefore I'm so hurt that I can't be there for them. But I can't deal with that emotion. I can't deal with anything. I'm just a messed up, confused little piece of... Question mark. So, we are storing a lot of stuff. And all that stuff is blocking our experience of life and forcing us to experience everything through their lens.

And there's no way past this. You cannot beat the system if you are a human.

Spiritually try. Many people try this, and there's even a name for it. It's called spiritual bypassing. Let me attach myself to some religious organization or spiritual movement, and this will heal me. And you're not wrong. You're beautifully right. That the healing of the world is spiritual. It's coming more into contact with whatever is above us, whatever is greater than us, whatever is more ethereal, of course.

But you can't leave the warehouse behind. You will never truly be free until you empty out the warehouse. And luckily, we can all empty out the warehouse. There's nobody that cannot do this. There's only one condition and that's that you're ready to feel pain. If you're ready to walk into your warehouse, take things off the shelves, put them on and say, ah, that hurt. Yeah.

Now before we discuss exactly how to do this, I want to warn you about one thing, and that's the death of this process. This process dies when it enters your mind. Now here's what this means. Many people hear about this and they try to do it. and they get very very lost and it doesn't work or it works a little and they just end up a mess they come and they say it's not working for me

And everything is confused, and they conclude that this just, this isn't real, I have to just go to therapy. Which, by the way, this is the whole point of therapy. Now, what are they doing wrong? or where are they turning left what's happening when it's not working and almost invariably there's one thing unless they're not feeling the pain they don't want to feel pain and they're resisting pain which is okay we'll deal with that there's a

Beautiful method for that. They're thinking. See, when you feel, you're going to trigger memories or thoughts or understandings. You're going to be like, oh, now I understand why I'm like this. Now I understand why I do this. Or you might feel a memory come up of yourself in that basement and that person, that horrible monster, that demonic...

experience, right? It's going to pull up memories slowly, pieces of memories, feelings, tones. Always return, always return to the feeling, how it feels in your body. That is the feeling. That is the healing. That is the solution. The solution isn't to think about it, to understand, to break it down. That's what some people spend years doing. They're in their minds. You have to go into your system and it's easy to do. You just have to be aware.

Do not think so much. And when thoughts come up, that's okay. It's like a meditation. It's okay. Don't fight them. Just return to feeling it in your body. And here's how the method works. Here's how it works. Sit down somewhere that you will not be disturbed. And it's very important. You should not be disturbed. Sometimes you can do it in nature, but if there are people walking by on the path, you're not going to be able to feel fully vulnerable.

Sit down in a locked room preferably. Sit and just breathe calm a few minutes. Don't listen to music. Just sit with yourself for a few minutes just to settle. Drink a beer. Drink a lemonade or don't just sit there and now Feel Look inside what is happening in your body. What is the feeling? There's a tension somewhere

Don't try to go deep. Don't use effort here. It's very effortless. It's light. It's easy. Sit and just bring your attention to the feeling in your body and just keep it there. And you're going to lose focus. Come back. This is a discipline. Return always to the feeling tone. Right now, I'm feeling tense. I'm feeling tense that I'm going to say the right thing on this podcast.

I'm feeling it, and I'm allowing that feeling, and I'm feeling it. It's all over my body. Wherever it feels in your body, it doesn't matter. Just stay there, lightly. Don't go intense. Don't try to kill the emotion. Know in your head before you start that experiencing the different parts of this emotion will be the solution of it. It will solve it. You will get past this. Stay in the field.

Do this for a half hour every morning. And you're always going to lose the ball. You're going to drop the ball. You're going to start thinking. And then you return to the feeling. And just be with the feeling. And it's going to cause some effect. You're going to maybe get scared. You're going to be going crazy for distraction. You're going to reach for your phone. Make sure your phone is off. And just say a half hour, I'm doing this. Doing this for me.

Return. Return to the feeling. Resist the urge to have distraction. Now here we come to another important point. And this is the reaction. I know I've faced a lot in my career and many people face. They are absolutely terrified of their emotions or absolutely hate their emotions or there's some resistance. There's some reason I can't do this. Now bear with me here. There's a reason that this is being resisted by our system. Don't you see the solution? That itself is an emotion. So that itself.

is something to just allow. Don't fight the barrier and try to get into the emotion. See and realize and know that the barrier itself is an emotion too. And that could be where you just settle. Allow that. What happens when you do this successfully? It doesn't take a long time to start realizing I'm motivated by fear. I'm just in fear all the time. I live my life in such fear. I'm screwing up everything because of my fear. Or maybe it's hatred. I'm angry and I'm hating.

Allow that. Allow it. Just feel the feelings. Don't think about it. Don't think why you hate your mom or why you hate your brother or why you hate the system or why you hate the world. Just hate the world. Just allow that feeling. You will empty out your warehouse and you know what happens? You will run free like a child. You will feel joy. You will return to your natural state. You cannot live in this state anymore. You cannot function.

Almost a death in life to live like this. You are a trapped caged lion. You are so great. You are so powerful. You are so enormous. But you will not know any of that when you try to live. through a warehouse. Allow the feeling tone to just pervade the system and sit with it. All your actions have been motivated.

Buy this now. It's time to just meet it to meet it You will meet something and it will be very difficult It'll be very painful and likely this will be the hardest thing you ever did in your life But it's the most worthwhile thing you've ever done in your life So let's talk about spiritual bypassing because in many areas, this is a common pitfall and such a testament to the beauty of people that they'll spend years in the spiritual, whether that's religion or whether that's...

not religion per se, it's just the spiritual, reading books, listening to podcasts, trying to better themselves, and they're collecting valuable knowledge and valuable beliefs and valuable mindsets and valuable perspectives, no doubt. But there's no way. to progress without undoing your warehouse. There just isn't a way. And that's called spiritual bypassing when you're attempting to bypass the warehouse and attach yourself to the spiritual. The spiritual is wonderful.

Loving others, making that a focus of your life. I mean, it's the highest. But you need to empty out your warehouse. There's no way around this. The day you do this is the day that you start to be free. The day you start to realize your job, and it's so stressful, is not really stressful. It can be beautiful. You haven't seen the opportunity for it to be beautiful and peaceful and constructive and fulfilling. Your marriage can be the most incredible, fulfilling, beautiful thing. It is already.

You just haven't seen it because you're just triggered by guilt. Your relationships, your children, everything will change. You'll find the ability to move into new careers that you never thought you were you're available to you know there's somebody who became a dancer after they let go when they realized I can dance I never knew I can sing I have a voice

I don't have to remain trapped forever. I don't have to just keep on this hamster wheel forever. Going to therapy, going to spiritual, trying to live my life and everything's impossible and everything's miserable. I'm suffering. I'm struggling. You don't have to suffer and struggle anymore. sit with your feelings and hold them. It's like you don't even realize, just feeling them is holding them. It's loving.

All the things that you've put aside in your life. It's simple if you remember that it's just allowing the feelings in your body to not get into your mind. And if you do, it's okay. Just return to the... the state of the sensation. Where is it? Just sit with it. It'll come. It'll progress. It'll change. It'll move. Sometimes you'll have a physical result from it. Just stick with it. I know somebody who throws up.

He vomits when he does this. And this will change because the feelings will change. Whatever's coming, just dance along with it. just feel whatever's coming it does not matter what you don't have to know what it is you don't have to say oh where the where is this coming from that's when people spend their whole lives identifying their feelings without ever truly feeling them through

So they know, oh, I've been traumatized by this teacher and abused by this guy. This woman, you know, insulted me and this girl made me feel like garbage. You don't have to know. It'll work itself out. Just stick with the feeling. It's so simple that we overlook it and we don't do it right. We complicate it. It's not complicated. And if it's scary, face the fear. Walk into that fear.

You're not feeling all this because there's something wrong with you. You're feeling this because there's something right with you. You are beautiful and it is beautiful. Remember one thing as you go through this. Remember that this will result in the freedom you've been craving and that freedom will never leave you for the rest of your life. It'll only deepen and become more beautiful. And I want to wish you the very best.

and doing this the very best in finding everything you thought you lost everything that's waiting just beyond just beyond this curtain I wish all of us the strength and the courage to pull aside the curtain and to meet whatever's waiting for us behind.