Honey, we need to chat. Hello and welcome back to Honey. We need to chat. This episode is a little bit different and if you're watching the video, you'll immediately know why. But for those of you that are just listening, we have a bit of a different format today because Blair is a way for work. He is up in Queensland.
And instead of trying to cram in a recording session in the very limited time we got together this week and or delaying the episode next week, we thought what about we look at this like a fun little activity and try a bit of a different format. So this week we're recording separately. We do not know each other's answers. We don't know how each other have responded. And I'm just going to stitch it all together in editing and we'll see how it goes. So it should be a little bit of
fun. It might be a little bit of messy, but that's OK. We're here for that. Sorry for the different format. We just thought it would be fun to be a bit creative and make it work with our schedule because life happens and you guys get that. So let's dive right in. We've got some questions we're going to be answering. Got a Reddit story that we're reflecting on. We'll also have a rapid fire mini quiz later of who is more likely.
So keep an ear out for that one because that would be really fun for you to do as a couple as well. And then we've also got at the very end, as per usual, a reality check challenge. Just a short one this week to reflect on separately, but you guys get the benefit of hearing both of our answers after I edit it all together. So let's dive right in. All right, firstly, we're going to go through some questions. Where am I and what am I doing?
Well, I'm in the usual location other than sitting in Blair's chair. I'm at home and I've just been working. So I have taken a little break to record this episode. Blair will have a different answer, obviously, because he is not here, but it's been all right. It hasn't been too bad. Solo parenting. I've actually had quite a bit of help from my mother in law, which is amazing. She's helping again tonight with some babysitting. For the most part, it's really good.
It's just when everyone needs something at the same time that is pretty exhausting and I'm not very good at self discipline in terms of getting to bed on time. So when Blair is not here, I become a bit of a loose cannon and I say up way too late and then I have the consequences of that the next morning. So that is probably the most chaotic or worst part of it.
The only other thing I do walk around a little bit like a zombie when I I walk around like a zombie when I've been parenting in general, when I get to, like, rehearsal for my show or if I go out to the shops and I'm suddenly engaging with other people other than just my children or my husband, I do walk around like a little bit of a zombie. But it's probably tenfold when Blair's not here and my brain's just, like, so full of stuff that I need to be doing.
So my little funny, chaotic moment of the day is that, yeah, I did not go to bed early. And when I say early, I mean I didn't go to bed until it was early. Sorry, babe. Hey guys, I am currently on a work trip. I flew up here into Rockhampton on what was it? I think it was Wednesday. I thought he, Well, yeah, early Wednesday morning, flew up here just for a little. We had a progress report meeting, fun stuff with our projects happening up here with
my organisation. I work for Dad's group, the
nonprofit organisation. And then today we had a big like networking collaboration, meeting with all the different organisations in this region, talking about how we can, you know, work together better, but also how can we have a greater impact together or even individually and, and sort of navigating through some of the challenges that we're having, let's say the for all of us, right, in this mental health space, the biggest challenge that we all find is engaging
dads, right? We want to support dads because we know that the more supported dads are the greatest support the family gets. So the importance of dads getting support and encouraged and equipped and all of that sort of stuff is really sure, it's really important. But like, so for example, a stat that we talk about is one in 10 dads suffer from post fatal depression. Now a lot of majority of people don't know dads can get post
fatal depression. And all of those one in 10 dads, 56% of them don't go help, don't go seeking help and support. And so yeah, like that's a big thing. It's not even just unique to us as an organisation as to all organisations. Supporting dads is is really hard because it's not dads, sorry, it's men. Supporting men in the mental health space is very hard because there's a lot of stigma around support for guys.
There's no other stuff. So we looked at about how high percentage of men see getting help with support as a sign of weakness. And then, then with that comes pride and all that's really thing if it's just really sad because like I, I know for myself when I'm, you know, trying to figure stuff out and I can make no sense of things and I make things worse. It's just very isolating and
difficult situation. But now that I'm in this place where, you know, I do get help, I've seen counsellors and stuff before and I'm a part of my dad's group and and so forth. Like I've just seen the benefits of that support and I don't, you know, my story and my struggles are not unique to myself. And so, yeah, saying that from other people has been really fantastic. It's been, it's hard. I always find it very hard to go away for work. I'm really tired. I'm, you know, some great
stuff's happening. It's exciting in the work front what's happening. But you know, I always just get this sense of guilt whenever having to leave the family and, and things. So it's not really chaotic wouldn't be the right word I would say, but it's difficult. I don't enjoy leaving the family to go away for work. All right. The next one is 3 things I appreciate about you, Blair today. So today I went to the shops after I dropped the kids at
school. I had to get some clothes for our baby, who is actually 2 today, which is really exciting, except for the fact that Blair's not here. And when I was walking out of one of the shops, somebody came out of a shop ahead of me and he kind of had the same body. What is it called? Demeanour. That's not the word I'm trying to say. But the way that he held his body as gate, maybe gate as Blair. And all of a sudden when I saw it, I was like, oh, I miss Blair.
So that's one thing I appreciate about him just being here, something I appreciate about him. Another thing is he is so good at maintaining the house and doing stuff with the kids. I've been making lunches for the kids, obviously in the mornings. And that has actually become his job for the last, I don't know how many months, maybe six
months now. So just having to think about things like getting the lunches done is just another task when you're trying to get all the kids out the door for school. And it's stuff like that, that when he's not here, I finally, not finally, because I do appreciate it at the time, but I, I can really feel the absence of the stuff that he just naturally does that isn't super easy to notice at the time.
So things like getting dinner ready, things like, you know, him just being able to put one or more of the children down so that I can put one more one or more of the children down and we don't have to do the whole task ourselves. The dishes piled up very quickly. So that was it too, him not being here to help with some of those things, which he's, he tends to be a little bit more
natural at than me anyway. So yeah, definitely stuff like what he feels in the house, just not being here is something that I appreciate a lot about him when he's not here. And then the other one, which I already alluded to, is the rhythms that he brings. I do not like going to bed. I just don't like it. I don't like going to bed. I like being in bed, but I don't like going to sleep. It's probably a better way of saying this.
And my little rebellious 18 year old still exists inside of me where it gets late and then I just want to stay up later. And I definitely enjoy the late hours of the night. Blair is much, much better at being like we should go to bed and then going to bed. So when he's not here, I am. I really am a loose cannon. I also sometimes just float around a little bit, like I'm not sure what I'm doing or who I am. Yeah, definitely. That's another thing that I appreciate is his consistency
and his rhythms. Even though on the nights when he is here and he's saying we should go to bed, I don't always feel like I appreciate it in that moment, but I do appreciate it the next morning. So that's what I appreciate about you, babe. One thing I will say on top of that is I, I'm a bit of an, well, I am an introvert and I do enjoy a lot of time to myself. A lot of the time when people talk about things like quarantine for COVID.
And I know this is so naive. I remember being like 14 days in a hotel room by myself. Yes, please. And I would go loopy if I did that. But the idea of it sounds really good. And every now and then I hear these stories of people doing things on their own. And I'm like, yes, please. Or, you know, Mother's Day treat for me is that Blair sends me out of the house to go do something by myself. And that's just who I tend to be.
But when he's not here, I do realise how much I rely on that consistent presence around me. And I do get a little bit loopy. Like I do start talking to myself and sometimes I walk around the house and do weird things. So like just weird facial expressions or I don't even want to dive too much more into that because all my respect from you guys will go right out the window. But yes, I definitely, I definitely miss when he's not here, his presence and the grounding that comes with that.
So I love you, baby. So now we've got a choose your own big question segment. So I don't know which one player will have responded to, but I'm choosing the question. What's something you wish you were better at right now? Something that I wish I was better at right now?
It's a big answer and it's kind of hard to explain, but definitely something that I have been working on in terms of my mental health over the last my whole life, but especially the last like six months to a year is recognising some of the stuff that goes on for me. And I have definitely alluded to it on the podcast before, but I really wish I was better at setting aside some of the weight that I carry inside.
He was having a little reflection moment the other night actually, while Blair was gone. And I just was like, sometimes I just have this glimpse of lightness and joy and, you know, freedom or like just fun, just light joyfulness. Sometimes, like there'll be a moment that that just is injected into me for whatever reason, whether something fun has happened, good has happened to watch just one of those moments where you're like, oh, look at my family. Like I experienced that.
And when I experienced that lightness inside is when I'm really aware of the heaviness that I carry all the time. And I am, I really am determined to figure out a way to be carrying myself and the things around me a lot lighter than I do. Because it's not when heavy things happen, heavy things happen. You're going to be stressed or overwhelmed, anxious, whatever you want to say with that. But it's not just that. It's not just when something heavy and big is going on.
It's often when there's nothing. If you look on paper, it doesn't look like anything should be weighing that heavily. But I just allow these little things to weigh really heavily. And then unfortunately, that trickles out into my family. I'm very aware that that influences how I act with my kids or with Blair, influences the vibe of the house, influences my my priorities and my motivation.
And I also just really believe that we are called to and allowed to enjoy joy regardless of circumstances. And that's part of our Christian faith is, is that element. But also just in general, I believe that, and I am trying to work on getting that without having to wait for those special, really special little glimmers. I think they call it glimmer moments where you're like, oh, I want that more often and I want the heaviness much less often.
So that is something I wish I was better at for a plethora of reasons. So what does staying connected actually look like when life is busy? That's a great question and something that, you know, Amy and I have definitely put time in. We, we are quite intentional, but at the same time, it's very easy to be too busy to think about, you know what I mean? Like it's something that we definitely continue to work on.
We're constantly going up and down with busy stages of life, either with kids or work or podcasting or, or whatever else. It is like Amy's has done an amazing job setting up new coaching business, which is absolutely fantastic, but in that comes a real sense of busyness. And she's also doing a theatre, she's doing a show at the theatre, in our local theatre. And I'm, you know, doing volleyball once a week as well. And, you know, we've got quite
busy lives. And, and I think for us, we have really had to, you know, we always keep catching ourselves. We, we notice like there, we go through a long period in that business where we haven't been intentional. We haven't really connected well. And I think, you know, for us, we've just recently gone on our 10 year wedding anniversary. We went away and we were able to reflect on that sort of stuff. We're able to reflect on or how are we going? How you know, what can we do
differently? What can we do going forward? What's important in that connection? Like what does connection actually look like When we went through a number of different things, different topics and ideas and so forth. But so when I when it says like when the question is what does stay connected actually look like when life is busy, it varies.
You know, we might go through times of like, you know, date nights could be, could be that it might be what we need or just being physically intimate, you know, it might be what we need in that time or just, you know, close, just spending time. It might be just relaxing watching a movie or whatever else might be going for a walk or whatever. There's is not one thing. It's down to what are we needing
in that moment? Maybe it's a massage, you know, I mean, like whatever it's, it's really having that conversation. We've had to have those conversations to identify what we need in those moments. Think first of all, it's identifying that we're hey, we're not connecting, we're busy, we're not connecting. We haven't had that intentional time with each other. Then it's about a matter of like, cool, well, what does that look like for you? And I would share what it looks like for me.
And then putting things in place based on what our needs are in that moment. But yeah, it's not one thing. It's whatever's needed in that moment. But what it looks like actually, to go back to it, is in everything we keep saying, having the conversation, being aware of it, having the conversation and then and putting something in place to go forward. All right now mini memory lane, share a random or nostalgic memory from your relationship. Bonus if it's funny or awkward.
Now I accidentally overheard one. Like I'm saying 2 seconds of Blair's video because I just wanted to check that the audio was OK when it came through and I just happened to overhear him talking about I think this question. Unfortunately now the only story I can think of is the one I heard him saying and or ones in the same vein. So apologies for the repeating theme that's probably going to come out. I am not a grot, I just need to make that clear.
One thing I will say, this isn't really a memory necessarily. We are not. We do not wind in front of each other. It's just neither of us have been really, you know, those really farty kind of people. This is so gross or even like really loud burpers or anything like that. We we just individually before we were together, we weren't really into that. And then when we got together, we both aren't into that. So it just got reinforced in our relationship.
And we don't do that most of the time in front of each other. I remember early on, just before we got married, I was at a hens party and there's a bunch of other women there that I knew they were also about to get married or had just gotten married. And they could not believe that we didn't fart in truck in front of each other. They couldn't believe it. And like I know it was all
lighthearted and fun. I did have, I think some people were actually genuinely concerned that we wouldn't do that and that that might be a red flag in a relationship. I'm here to say it's not a red flag and I know that I can if I need to. I just don't like doing that in general. Just anyway, if you think it's a red flag, that's fine. And to those that are really comfortable in front of each other, I love that for you guys. I love that for you guys. Genuinely, I think it's very
beautiful. It's not, it's not a lack of comfort necessarily, it's just it's just something that we're not into. Anyway, that's my little context to it. And I'm sure this is going to resonate through his story as well, considering what I heard him quickly saying. But there's a few instances where with that lens in mind, it's been very funny and hasn't been made for a more made a very funny memory because of kind of
our culture as a couple. And one of the times being when I was induced with at first, like I had my contractions, it was quite intense. And so they, I quickly decided to go with an epidural. And so once the epidural happened, I just could not start fart, stop farting. I was like, oh, I'm, I'm farting. I was in the hospital bed and I was just farting. And I, it was because I couldn't, I physically didn't feel like I had much control of my muscles on the lower half of
my body because of the epidural. And there was just a lot of gas and stuff going on in my stomach. And so I was, I was just sitting there with Blair and our student midwife and all the other midwives that were coming in. Doctors were coming in. And I just had to kind of laugh about it because, yeah, I couldn't hold that in. So there's that. There's a few other stories. I'm sure Blair will be sharing one of them.
Another thing actually on the another memory on that day where we were in the hospital having our son, our first child, I was when I was, I was addicted to the gas. The gas was my lifeline. I loved it so much. I've never ever done anything that has made me feel like the gas has made me feel. I'll just put it that way. And so when I was on the gas, partially because of the pain relief it gave me, but also just the trip that it gave me, I was
living my best life. And then I was very scared about the idea of getting an epidural. So when I did agree to it, I demanded that I be allowed to continue sucking on that gas while they did it. Now knowing what I know, because I've now had four caesareans and four spinal blocks and plus the epidural, I now know how how much you need to sit still. But at the time I didn't realise how difficult someone high on gas would be to get them to sit still.
And so poor Blair was sitting there holding me as still as he possibly could as this lady was giving me the epidural. And I just was off in La La land. And in my mind, I literally was picturing this. There was this little tubby Dr cartoon person that had bounced into my little cartoon world and was this like cranky little doctor giving me an epidural. And I was, I was off with the fairies, but Blair was having to hold my back very, very still while they put this into my spine.
So that was also funny because I, I, I wasn't just like feeling good. I was having full on stories playing out in my mind of these little cartoon characters and, and I didn't have to read the, the consequences of it. He did. So he was there holding me and keeping me safe. Thank you again, babe. Another thing I'm appreciative of. Many memory lines share a random or nostalgic memory from your relationship. Bonus if it's funny or awkward.
I remember, I think, you know, I remember early on when, I mean, I was saying that and I, I mean, feel free to cut this out if this is too embarrassing for you, but I remember early on, I mean, I, we went to the drive in movies. I think we're date, we're dating at a time. We went to the drive in movies, kind of all we were watching. And anyway, we, we parked the car. It's lovely, beautiful night. Like I'm, I'm falling for this girl. She's absolutely amazing.
And then next minute I realised you're in the movie, she's falling asleep. I'm like, all right, well that's rude, but whatever. No, what? I didn't care. I don't remember what movie it was, so it wasn't that impactful, but she fell asleep and I'm still watching the movie. The next minute, just out of nowhere, she just freaks out. She wakes up, freaks out, opens the door. I thought she was going to go running out the door, but she
doesn't. She's just like, oh, she's just woken up all of a sudden realised she's just freaked out. We're laughing and stuff. I'm like, oh man, she just must have, you know, had a weird dream and woken up and nearly ran out the door. And it wasn't until maybe years later that Amy actually told me that she farted in her sleep and she woke up freaked out that it was gonna smell bad, so she quickly wanted to open the door so I wouldn't smell stinky out of the car. It didn't.
I had zero idea and I thought she just had a crazy dream. So yeah, that's it. My wife's a fart off. All right, so moving on to rapid fire mini quiz, who is more likely? So I'm going to rapid fire through these things and say who I believe is more likely to do these things. OK, who is most likely to forget an anniversary? I feel like it depends if it's a
relate. If it's an anniversary to me, like one of my marriage anniversaries, I feel like Amy's more unlikely to forget, and I feel like I've had a good track record of remembering our anniversary. If it's anything else though, like other people's birthdays or whatever else, it's never me. I'm trash, I'm terrible at it. I can't remember things. Blair is more likely to forget an anniversary. He doesn't mostly, but he is more likely to do that, put systems in place.
Because I know I'll forget. So I just have a lot of systems around things like that that keep it on the top of my mind. But he is more likely to forget it, I believe. Who is more likely to cry during a movie? Blair is more likely to cry during a movie. I actually feel like I'm a little bit cold hearted. He cried at our wedding. It was beautiful and I didn't. He cries at the thought of a lot of things that I don't, partially because I protect myself.
So if I start to feel too emotional sometimes I just shut that part off. And then also because, I don't know, I just, I haven't a different way of empathy to him. And he feels things, I'm very emotional, but he feels things very differently to me. And so he is, I think, more likely to cry in a movie. It's a hard one. I I don't know. I think most likely Amy, but it wouldn't surprise me if she says me. Who is more likely to make the first move after an argument?
I'm assuming this means first move for like saying sorry. I think it's 5050. I think actually no, probably me because I'm probably the one that's in the wrong in the argument. So I'm like, yeah, you're right, my bad. I don't know who I don't know. I think both of us would. It depends on the argument, and it depends over like when it is, who started it, what it was, and what our circumstances are. But we both do eventually. Who is more likely to overpack for a weekend away?
And that would be me. That is definitely Amy. Amy would overpack for the weekend away. I would underpack. I would forget things. So I don't know what's worse. I don't know if overpacking or underpacking is worse, but now Amy absolutely overpacks. There's nothing else to say about that. Actually, that's not true. I mean never takes their appropriate clothing. She's either too cold or too hot. She never dresses appropriately. Who is more likely to text I love you randomly?
Probably also me, but not in a bitter way. I think he would do it as well, he's just not on his phone as much. He he we both throughout the day randomly say I love you in person. So it's probably the text element that makes it more likely that I would be doing it. Amy. Amy would be the first one to text that. Who's more likely to stay up late? I mean, none of us need to answer this question because we've just heard it in the episode, but it is me. Amy, she's a night owl. Ridiculous.
When we first got together, she was like, man, that like, she would easily stay up to 123 in the morning. And well, I was bricklaying at the time. I was a tradie, so I got up early, like sometimes 4:00 AM or earlier. And yeah, it was hard and it was hard. Who is more likely to forget where they put their keys? And that is Blair 1000%. And this is a bitter 1 because we have a key hook.
Just again, I, I have built my systems to relieve myself of stress because I have experienced being like, where is it? I've got no idea. But his keys, his Sonny's, his wallet often are on repeat. Where is this? Where is this? Sometimes even his phone. Actually, a lot of the time even his phone. Amy 1 Hope No, I'm joking. That is 100% me and I always do this. I always put things down. My sunglasses, wallet, keys,
hats. I've got a I've got a place for them all, but I never put them there. I don't know why. I know there's a lot of pointing the fingers here and like tus tusking, I know I need to get better. OK, who is more likely to start a deep conversation 5 minutes before bedtime? That is me. He. That was one of the things we had to adjust to when we were early married because I was like, we're in bed. We're just like the lights are off. So your brain just starts to like think.
And I'm like, what deep conversation can we have? And he's already like half asleep. Once he's in bed, he's ready for bed. And when he's tired, you've, you've probably seen it in some of our episodes, but you can see that he his brains just like in sleep mode. So I would bring up these deep things, especially early on when I would finally, it's like I finally had the courage to bring up the thing that was upsetting me or the thing I thought was upsetting him.
And then I'd bring it up and it was an important conversation and it was a bad time. And that was never helpful. So once I figured that out, things have been a lot better. And he tried, he really does try when that happens to engage with it, but he also just physically has difficulties with that. Amy, it's a problem. All right, last one is who is more likely to bail on social plans to stay home and chill?
I'm going to say Blair again. He's become more and more of a homebody introvert over the years and social plans take a lot from him when he's already really tired. They actually have gone the opposite way and become more excited about social things. In saying that, though, there's not many times where social planning gets cancel it.
And I'm upset. Like I think when you've got kids and when you're an older adult, like you're not older, but you know, when you're not a young adult, you've got kids, you're working, there's these things that just mean that any free time you have is such a blessing. And I feel like that just kind of has this almost this disclaimer over anytime anything gets cancelled, I'm like, you
know what, that's fine. I'm just going to watch my show or I'm going to get done the 500 things that I wanted to get done. So I think it's probably more likely to be Blair at this stage, but I think both of us are in the same boat. Amy like we would be both on same of wanting to do that, actually doing that. Maybe me and that's that's changed quite a lot since becoming a parent because I was like such a social butterfly, like I'm like always wanting to be out, always wanting to be
with people. Amy might want to like bail, but she would actually stick to it where I would more likely, and I don't. I don't think I've done it the last time I've done that, but I think I'd be more likely to do it. All right, so there we go. That's a rapid fire mini quiz so you guys can answer that at home. Who's more likely to forget an anniversary? Who's more likely to cry during a movie? Who is more likely to make the first move after an argument? Who's more likely to overpack
for a weekend away? Who's more likely to say I love you in a text randomly? Who's more likely to stay up late? Who's more likely to forget where they put their keys? Who's more likely to start a deep conversation 5 minutes before bedtime? And who is more likely to bail on social plans and stay home and chill? Now we're going to dive into a Reddit story reflection. So first I'm going to read the story and then I'm just going to give some thoughts on it.
So this is titled Is it weird to not miss your partner when they leave? My partner is gone like he is right now. I don't really miss him and I'm feeling a little guilty about it. I don't even care that much to have long talks with him, just quick catch UPS are enough for me. I remember I used to pine over my partners if they were on a trip and call them and text them constantly.
With my current partner I'm enjoying being alone and being able to make whatever I want for food, sleep on my schedule, crochet and watch my own shows and just be alone. I feel like I should miss him but I honestly don't. This was not written by me babe, just in case you thought that because I also crochet and I also like being on my own. So is it weird to not miss your partner when they leave? I don't think it's weird to not miss.
I think it comes down to the definition of what missing is. Would it be weird to be happy and have no emotional connection to the fact that your partner's gone? Maybe a little bit weird. I miss Blair when he's gone. Like I said in my early reflections, you know, I saw someone today for a second, it just made me think it was him and it wasn't. And it that's when I have the moments of like, Oh my gosh, I miss Blair.
And often, like, you know, by the end of a trip, it's very much like, I just want you home now. I miss the routine. I miss having someone here. I miss having my person. I miss everything that he brings to the family. So I do miss those things. For me, a lot of my things like this, missing things, missing people, grieving, a lot of that is very logical and sits in my head rather than in my emotions. Whereas I think some people feel things really physically like that and I I just don't for
whatever reason. It's the same with our kids when we go away and we haven't had them around. I miss them logically and I know I miss them emotionally, but if I'm honest, I don't feel this deep craving for them that I think some other people experience. I would after, after, you know, more than three days, I'm sure
that I would be feeling that. And especially if something's gone wrong, like when we went away to New Zealand, our baby got sick and that really I really struggled being away when that was happening. But I am OK at having at knowing that I'm going back to them and I don't have that. I don't have that like deep drive all the time to be with them. When are we gone? And I think it's the same with Blair, like I really love having him here and I would always prefer to have him here, but I
also appreciate time to myself. And so when he is gone, I don't necessarily walk around in a big bowl of missing him or this kind of like dependency I would have when I was younger and I did when I was younger. And I wonder if there's something to say, something to be said for ageing. And like I said earlier, like just becoming a bit more
established as an adult. You've got work, you got routines, you like get deeper and deeper into the sacrificing side of relationships or the effort side of relationships. So like as a mother, a lot of my relationship is a lot of work with my kids because I am completely responsible for them. I love them and they're so life giving. But I also can see the side of it being when you can finally you've got a little moment to be like, oh, I can choose what I
want to eat. That's one of my favourite things when Blair goes away is being like, I'm going to choose what I want to eat. Unfortunately, right now I'm on a strict diet so I can't really just eat whatever I want, but I get to pick. We've got different and taste in food, we've got different tastes in bed times, we've got different tastes in what we watch. We've also got similarities, overlaps and that's where we
normally exist. But I think when he's gone, it's like that's the moment that I can kind of have that time to myself. And so I don't think that in and of itself this story sounds like it's weird. I don't think it's not surprising to me that she might be experiencing something different with this partner than she did with her partners from when she was younger. And I think that's got more to do probably with the life stage that you're in. I think what would be weird is
if you prefer to be alone. And I think what would be weird is if you never missed to them, like if they're gone for more than a week and you didn't have the thought of I just want you back. It would maybe make me question some stuff more if that's the case. But if it's they're gone for a short trip and you're just enjoying that time to yourself without feeling this pang of like, oh, I should, I should want them here. I don't think that's necessarily concerning.
It's the outworking of it and it's the deeper meaning of it for yourself. And there's nothing we can say about somebody else's story. But just from my own personal experience, I resonate with enjoying this time to myself and and being responsible for my own schedule. I'm curious to see what Blair said in his. Yeah, I mean, obviously we we have 0 context to the rest of their relationship. Or from what she's well, all we've got is what she's written here.
She says she has, I'm guessing Pine means like miss some. I don't even remember. I don't even know what that means. Well, I'm going to assume it means that she has missed other partners when they're on a trip and call them and text them constantly. I wonder if that's a telling thing. You know, I wonder if that's something they're like why she missed them and not this guy. I had no idea if they're like been dating for a long time or whatever.
I have no idea of any of that. I think that it's a bit weird. I find a bit weird that she doesn't miss him at all. You know, maybe they're in friend zone, maybe. I don't know. There's so many things that it could be and there's not enough information here. I think it's a little bit weird. I think either that she's just not. I wonder what it's like when he's actually around though. That's probably when I would ask her what's it like when he is around?
Does does she love him being around or is she looking forward to him going away? Then it's a real issue. If she's looking forward to him to go away. There's a real issue. If it's just that she's not missing him while he's gone, still see it as an issue, but not as much of 1. I don't know. Like I like I said, I really struggle to be away when I'm away. I have no idea if Amy misses me or if it's just so busy and chaotic there that it's just, you know, she just doesn't think about it.
But I I really hate being away. So I miss Amy, I miss my family. I want to be with them. So This is why I find this one a bit weird. I think asking the question of why is probably important for her, you know, I mean, your own space is good. And and if it's if he's not away often, if he's only away for like a day or so, like maybe it's fine. Like it's, I don't know. There's too many unknowns about this topic here. If yeah, I would say she needs probably asked the question, why
would she not miss him? I thought it weird. I don't know. I don't have much more to say about that. I think it's a bit weird. What do you guys think? Do you guys think it's weird? I'd love to hear from you. All right now, just the last little bit here. We're going to go into the reality check corner and today is just a little reflection that you can do with yourself and or with your partner later. And we're going to obviously be doing it separately to each
other this week too. So the reflection is, what's one way I could show up better in our relationship right now? I, I think I need to check in more about how Amy's love tank is going. Like I, we've talked about a lot, we've spoken a lot about love, love languages. And I know Amy's is words of affirmation or it used to be. And the more I know about love languages, the more I've been learning about them. I know that things can change. And so I'm not sure where that fits.
And I don't know how I'm going with that because I haven't asked, but I think just being more aware, creating space to actually ask those questions and to be curious in that way would be good. I know she, we've spoken recently about how she, you know, I've asked her recently like, oh, bye, be more actively listening or something.
And it was, that's ironic because I'm, I can't remember what she, we were actually talking about, but I remember she was saying about, you know, asking more questions about her interests. And so even though they're not my interests, but being curious about hers was something that she would like more of. Now I feel like I've been trying to do that, but I, I, I don't know how I'm going and that's something that I would like to improve. Like I want to know how I'm going.
So she's mentioned that she wants me to show more interest in her interests. Cool. I've been trying to do that. Now, is that clear to Amy that I've been trying to do that, or is that me just assuming that I'm on the right path? You know, I mean, we haven't spoken about it again since. So I want to know, I want to know how I'm going with that. I think that's something I definitely want to increase in my intentionality on.
I think something that I could do better is being more thankful and more verbally appreciative of Blair, but also just even mentally taking that time, setting aside that time to notice what I appreciate about him. Like the exercise earlier in this episode, I think is really helpful. And we we can find ourselves in routines and rhythms that go. We just go without doing that
stuff unless you're prompted. And so I think, yeah, having having time where I'm intentional about just taking a few extra seconds to look at him and appreciate him or noticing what he does and then verbalising that to where appropriate as well. So that my attitude is an
attitude of thankfulness. And my approach to him is an approach of thankfulness because there's always going to be things to nitpick about your situation or your family or your partner, but there's also things to appreciate about them. And if you can appreciate that, if that can be your default to be appreciating, then the nitpicky things won't feel so big. Well, guys, I know this is a bit of a weird episode, and I just want to say thank you so much
for sticking to the end. You know, this has just been one of those ones. We want to give you a little bit more insight into our lives and to who we are and a little bit of our journey as we're trying to, you know, we're wanting to be here on the podcast and we wanted to be here on YouTube and all the socials, but we also have jobs and we're passionate about our jobs. You know, there's more to us than just what you see on each episode. So we wanted to give you a little glimpse of that.
We want to thank you so much for being here. We want to challenge you and encourage you do that rapid fire question. It's actually fun to try and think through our partners and and it's it actually makes me giggle, you know, going through that. So check it out, try that out with you, with your partners and even ask yourself self the question as well with this reality check corner. What's one way that you could show up better in your relationship right now?
We would love to hear from you. So send us an email, let us know what's one way that you would like to do better in your relationship right now. All right guys, thanks so much for being with us. I hope you enjoyed this random little honey we need to chat corner. We'd love to hear your responses to the Reddit story, the reality check corner and the Rapid Fire mini quiz if you're keen. Thanks guys, I'll catch you next week. Good chat, bye.