Crystal is singing again. We’re tired of paying bills. The groundhog saw his shadow. We’re not role models. Decriminalize drug use. Kill your local rapist. Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Email us your questions/stor...
Feb 06, 2022•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 158
Botox time is always a joy. This is a luxury trailer community. New Year’s resolution for couples. Billionaires don’t need space toys. Check out this week’s sponsor! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. Right now Dipse...
Jan 28, 2022•1 hr 30 min•Ep. 157
Welcome to the smoking closet. Crystal has tough lungs and more unlocked memories. Don’t fake the funk. Pata Fria wants a spiked ring of ownership and McKenzie fights. Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lu...
Jan 22, 2022•1 hr 30 min•Ep. 156
Today’s episode is gross. There is no singing today. We’re definitely from the older generation, hygiene is being brought up AGAIN. Tweaker fights are the best. Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com...
Jan 13, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 155
Everybody’s sick. We’re old. Crystal’s paranormal roommates have been ACTIVE. Try to stay on top of your meds and don’t be a cheater. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenario...
Jan 06, 2022•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 154
Last episode of the year; 2021 has not been kind. You can stop being friends without becoming enemies. CDC said go to work. Don’t buy your kids tattoo machines. The Damato kids are hilarious. Snow trips with no adults. Roses for Jesus. Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunct...
Dec 30, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 153
We’re not starting a pet furniture line. They can’t all be good days. Crystal has been living on IG live. Treat yourself to an occasional visit from a housekeeper. Dog bites. Poor family outings. If you’d like to contribute to Billy’s celebration of life/Carolyn’s independent living expenses, please visit https://gofund.me/acc45cd6 Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com...
Dec 10, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 152
We’re so happy to be back. Don’t let anyone put you in a closet. Self love shouldn’t bother you. Sober sex is different! Tattoos are great. If you’d like to contribute to Billy’s celebration of life/Carolyn’s independent living expenses, please visit https://gofund.me/acc45cd6 Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO Jo...
Dec 03, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 151
We love you Billy. National Day of Mourning. Don’t learn to make greens on the internet. Autopsy tours should be a thing. Frankenstein has moved out. Hippos are living it up in Colombia. In honor of Billy we’re bringing back the holiday tee, details how to purchase are available on our ig page. If you’d like to contribute to Billy’s celebration of life/Carolyn’s independent living expenses, please visit https://gofund.me/acc45cd6 ANY amount helps, even just a share is so greatly appreciated. Che...
Nov 25, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 150
We’re back after a rough couple weeks. Pata Fria has a plastic surgery addiction. Billy gave us a huge scare. Check in with your kids and take mental health as seriously as physical health. Don’t go slow in the fast lane and always shower before you get waxed. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused Hi...
Nov 04, 2021•1 hr 29 min•Ep. 149
It’s our 3 year anniversary week!! The new iPhone update might have a sneaky new feature. Bad service in a restaurant is really a mood killer and if Crystal wants your recipe she’ll track you down! Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade and lab tested CBD infused products. Suppor...
Oct 14, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 148
Retrograde is bringing them old thangs back, don’t raise our rent. Crystal is a cool mom and also a part time plumber. Trains vs threesomes and Pata Fria booked another surgery. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade and lab tested CBD infused products. Support local Black woman ...
Oct 07, 2021•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 147
We’re back together again! Crystal is a sex queen. Bunny’s becoming a bit of a problem and please always wash your hands! Check out this week’s sponsors! • Poshmark The seasons are changing, we’re ready to clean out our closets and grab some new items for fall! Poshmark is our favorite reseller app on the market. It’s super easy to set up a closet to sell your items for cash and browse thru thousands of gently used and brand nee items, some at 70% below retail. Right now Poshmark is extending a ...
Sep 30, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 146
Keep you head on a swivel, weirdos are out there. Raising sons isn’t always a great time. Pumpkin season is upon us and tiktok is great for life hacks. Check out this week’s sponsors! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift of...
Sep 23, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 145
Please note, this is our first episode recorded separately due to covid. Our quality of sound may have been somewhat compromised. A few updates, a few write ins…everyone be safe and thank you for listening! Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Poshmark The seasons are changing, we’re ready to clean out our closet...
Sep 19, 2021•2 hr 2 min•Ep. 144
Crystal Barbie wasn’t real, call her Crystal hot tits. Everyone needs to explode sometimes. HSP explains a lot. PeePee is doing much better, Natalia made everyone early valentines. Check the dates on all snacks always. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories ...
Sep 04, 2021•1 hr 33 min•Ep. 143
Bunny had her first fight, Crystal ate some bad food, Pata Fria is loving store deliveries and curbside service. When was the last time you ran full speed? Stay your asses off the milk crates and race play kinks are unfortunately a thing. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of ...
Aug 26, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 142
Happy Birthday Crystal, fussy babies and the first day of school. Don’t eat chocolate in the bed and does anyone know how long plan B lasts? Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infus...
Aug 22, 2021•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 141
Crystal got embarrassed at Alpha Beta and has ugly nails. Pata Fria is a lonely girl, but don’t marry your cousin or your child. Starbucks is really slackin so thank god for Orbit Coffee! Check out this week’s sponsors! • DIPSEA Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on! The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes t...
Aug 12, 2021•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 140
PMS is killing us. Was Crystal actually a southern woman in a past life? America’s eating habits are embarrassing. Don’t wait for the stink. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infus...
Aug 05, 2021•1 hr 42 min•Ep. 139
We’re still wearing masks, Pata Fria’s sex drive is on it’s way back and Crystal got her mouth clawed. Don’t poison your family, be passive aggressive or start fires with your gender reveals. Check out this week’s sponsors! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. hellainfused.com IG: Instagram...
Jul 29, 2021•1 hr 45 min•Ep. 138
We’re happy to be back, last week was eventful. Art show was a success, Crystal samples drinks before buying and Pata Fria is fixing her Marge. Please practice fire, covid and drug safety. Crystal has a connection to New Orleans and they love making themselves known. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Inf...
Jul 22, 2021•1 hr 38 min•Ep. 137
Welcome to the news. PeePee is small and if you don’t have a medical clearance please make sure you’re at our art show. Pata Fria had a really vivid dream and beware of ticks! Door Dash has been a joke and Crystal’s phone is still x-rated. Check out this week’s sponsor! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunct...
Jul 15, 2021•1 hr 41 min•Ep. 136
Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Leo the cat used one of his lives and vets are kinda like car salesman. The art show is next week so buy your tickets now! PeePee is a true intellectual. Some twins are EXTRA close and Crystal discovered an awful fetish. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • Hella Infused High quality h...
Jul 08, 2021•1 hr 45 min•Ep. 135
Crystal has boob sweat, Pata Fria’s back is broken. Pay attention to signs from the universe, love your friends while they’re here, Pata Fria is planning yet another surgery and Crystal loves 80s mullets. This week’s tv recommendations are: High On The Hog (Netflix) Outcry (Showtime) Check out this week’s sponsors! • Hella Infused High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 30% off to our...
Jul 01, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 134
There’s a cat in the room and it’s Bunny’s birthday!! Crystal had a Reno getaway, Pata Fria’s had a busy busy week. DNA testing, c-sections are serious, Crystal loves the Tootsie Roll. This week’s tv recommendations are: • 7 Deadly Sins (Showtime) • The Accused (Hulu) Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number ...
Jun 25, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 133
This week we tried something new and linked with the Judge Us Not podcast for some male perspective! We hope you enjoy! Check out this week’s sponsor! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number for covid testing and vaccine appts in your area: 1-888-634-1123 Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hello...
Jun 17, 2021•1 hr 54 min•Ep. 132
Pray we aren’t getting sick, keep an eye on creepy teachers, technology is really changing lives. There’s now a huge free resource for sex workers, don’t defend your children’s wrongdoings. A genital anomaly, let’s all educate ourselves on gender and sexuality. This week’s tv recommendation is: • Gender Revolution: A Journey w Katie Couric (Disney +) Check out this week’s sponsor! • HB Crystals If you’re into crystals for their metaphysical properties or just to admire their beauty, check out @h...
Jun 10, 2021•1 hr 31 min•Ep. 131
Crystal has dry socket, Pata Fria doesn’t have new brows but she does have new bras. Hackers are active on IG and we’re just constantly reminded how awful humans are. Don’t lie to AAA and don’t be afraid to ask where someone got their butt done. Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO The number for covid testing and ...
Jun 03, 2021•1 hr 35 min•Ep. 130
Crystal is a registered foster dog mom, Pata Fria had a really nice bday. Nothing ever goes smooth so just laugh. This week’s tv recommendations are: • Ultimate Warrior documentary (A&E) • The State of Texas vs Melissa (Hulu) Check out this week’s sponsors! • BetterHelp Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO • HB Crystals If you’re into crystals for their m...
May 27, 2021•2 hr 2 min•Ep. 129
