Reality is they might read the Gospels first, they might not know a ton of the Old Testament yet, they're kind of behind on knowing all that. But does that even really matter? I don't think it does. If they're consistently pursuing Christ, it's more about the character and are they following Jesus then can they quote everything in the Bible? Who are they today? And where are they going?
What's up, fam? Hey guys, it's JJ and we we switched it up this time. You said hello first. I know. I can't believe it. I think they liked it. They did. I hope so. They love hearing from you. You guys, hey, we have a great episode coming for you today. This is episode.
This is episode two of our series on red flag. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you need to because last week's episode really prefaces this whole season. We talk about red flags versus dealbreakers. What is a red flag really? And why we think sometimes people write people off too early because they see a red flag versus getting curious and finding out more information because red flags and dealbreakers are different.
You know what's funny was I was just about to ask you to summarize the last episode and he did a great job. Thank you. That was a fast little review. But I really go listen to last episode.
And this season will bring you episodes about red flags every single episode. So we have a whole season lineup for you. However, I want to say this. If you want to submit an idea like a topic to be covered, you can do that. If you are part of our Patreon community, which we just launched. Do you want to tell them about Patreon?
Yeah, it's basically our way of funding and supporting this podcast. Yes. And so if this series or this podcast in any way has impacted you in your life and you're looking for a way to give back and support us, this is the best way. And we hope in every tier. There's something actually that gives back to you. It makes it a win for you guys as well. We have just talking. What's the next one?
You, oh, just talking. We have dating. We have in a relationship. Oh, yeah, we have true love. We have the one. Yeah, but there's three main tiers and then two bonus tiers and each tier like you get something new. So the first tier, you get access to a bonus podcast episode per month.
Yes, the second and that's only $5 the second tier, you get access to that plus you can ask questions to be featured on the podcast and you get to submit topics to be covered. And then tier three, you get all of that plus you get discounts to all of our events like conference and school of dating. And you also get access to zoom hangout with us once a month.
Right. And don't we have an update coming what all of content. That's right. Thanks, baby. Okay. We decided to actually bring back all of our content from our past program. The singles Academy. We have 12 incredible master classes from that program that are rich in teaching both from J. J. and I and from guest speakers like Jamal Miller, Carrie Garcia, Riley, Sue, Riley, Keyho, excuse me and others. And it's so good.
So you're actually going to be able to get that now in tier three in the in the relationship tier plus you're going to get access to drum. Please. H. O. D. C. 2023 replay. Right. What? We had to work on that one with Kate. She was a little like, I was like, really guys, are we really going to give that right.
But we are. So if you want those things, it you can get it into three in a relationship, but really patron just helps like craters like us to be able to fund the podcast and the dreams we have from the show, which we have a lot of.
So thank you guys already for doing it. Hey, we have a goal of reaching 300 patrons. I think last time I checked we were in the 30s. So which is totally great. But would you guys consider we want to get to 300 by the end of September. So we'd love to have your support. Okay, so right now we're going to also go into a segment of the show where we do a question from our Patreon community. So this question is from Melissa and we're going to play it and then we're going to answer it.
Hi Kate. My name is Melissa and I recently found your page and I loved your story of how you and JJ met and just the progression of your entire relationship. And one thing that stood out to me was when you said that at the start of your relationship, you were dealing with really serious burnout and depression.
So I just wanted to know what that looked like in your relationship. How did you guys work through those challenges? Or was it more of an internal thing where you had to work on it by yourself with just JJ's support? So yeah, I would love to know your answer on that because I'm somebody that is also dealing with depression and burnout. And I feel like mental health is something that we don't really talk about.
A lot in the Christian community, especially when it deals with dating a lot of times we're told, heal first and then your perfect person will come along or your spouse will come along. But that doesn't seem to be the case with your story and so I'm interested in knowing what that journey was like for you and JJ. Thanks. It's a good question. Really good question. Thanks Melissa. No, it's so good.
You know, healing isn't linear and you never know Teddy is literally looking my leg right now. Thanks Teddy. So healing is not linear and you never know what's going to come up in life. And I didn't know when I started dating JJ that I was in the season of burnout and I definitely didn't know that I was going to be going into a season of depression. If you were to ask us, hey, if I was in a season of depression, would I have then considered dating JJ?
That would probably be a very different answer than I was already dating actually was in a relationship with him and then depression came up. Right. And for me, I had actually never dealt with depression before. I'd never dealt with burnout to that extent before at least that I consciously knew of, right?
And so all of that was new for me and it wasn't necessarily things I could prepare for a per se because there were new and I just did too much in a short amount of time and it just wrecked my body. And now I know and we'll set myself up in the future to not go to those place, not do that for my body. But you know, something JJ and I recently revealed this last year was actually a few months after we got married, I actually fell back into a season of depression for a month, month and a half.
And I didn't know it first. I was in depression and it ended up being a really challenging season. And I thankfully had more tools to deal with it. But this time I actually really had to consider some more stronger methods because some of the tools I had before weren't working the same. So just to say, even if you have tools or if you've quote unquote healed from something, it doesn't mean that thing may not come up again in your future.
It's more so about like, okay, are you willing to consistently work on it? And what are you going to do when those things do come up? You know, for me, and it's especially hard when it comes to depression because like you don't feel like working through it. So, but for me, I was like, we had a marriage therapist and we immediately went to that marriage therapist and was like, okay, we need some help here.
You know, so it's like instead of sitting on it for months at a time and not dealing with it, we tried to tackle it right away and do one step at a time. But last thing is that, yeah, I had to take it upon myself to do a lot for myself, not just JJ supporting me or helping me through that. Yeah. And it was hard for you.
It was difficult, but I think you know, the primary focus has got to be that person. And if you're the other partner in that situation, I mean, I think you have to have a divine peace, support system and wisdom to proceed. Yeah. And that is a young relationship and you don't feel like you can prioritize them and kind of push pause on any kind of romantic evaluation. And just literally be there for them. Then I don't think that's a situation that you should continue dating.
Especially in depression situation. Yeah, especially. I mean, like you really have to push everything on pause and be okay with just being 100% a platonic support system. And not their savior, yes, to clarify, right, strictly supportive. Right. Yeah. So thank you for sharing and thank you for your vulnerability and not to.
Before we go into that episode with our fun special guest today, I want to let you guys know one more thing this season we brought an amazing, or we have a new freebie for you guys. All about red flags and deal breakers how to figure out what red flags are what they are for you and what your deal breakers are. So if you want that resource, it's free. You can go to heart of dating.com forward slash resource, forward slash red flags with an s and you can download that for free.
And let's get into the episode. Guys, we're diving into the episode today. As you know, we're doing a season on red flags. And today I'm super excited about this episode because first of all, we have a guest, which I'm going to introduce in a second. But this topic is so good. And I really think you guys are going to love this because we're talking about dating a new Christian versus maybe dating a lukewarm Christian.
And these topics, I feel like come up all the time in my DMs, JJ's dams maybe a little bit. You haven't said hello babe. I know we're both waiting. Well, it's not just me. I know we're going to get you in. Let's introduce our guest. She got Kaden and the house. What's up, Kaden? What's going on guys? Thanks for having me. Kaden for Breeze. Yo. For Breeze. Yo. It's Italian, right? Italian. Yeah. I mean, he loves it. Yeah. Right now I got like the necklaces and the tank going on a very Italian.
Oh, that is very Italian. I be honest. Yeah. Do you cook cook Italian? No. My dad cooks cooks Italian. So first that throws down like puts sauce on the stove for like four days. Yeah. Just a monster. Be cooking in a shop running your first dates. Yeah. For sure. Backseat. Yeah. Backseat to the Subaru. Perfect. That's the core of your while you're courting. Yeah. While we're courting. Yeah. No, I'm not a big believer in dating. You know, more so courting. Just courting.
Yeah. But when changing the name of this, right? Yeah. The heart recording. Yeah. Yeah. That's so holy of you. It is really a guard a lot of hearts. I'm just into like honestly, you have your heart of a point guard. I'm a heart guard. Oh, I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm just a big guard or something. Well, speaking of dating, courting, whatever we call it, you guys just so you know, Kate in the single. I am single. This is not an advertisement ladies for you to go into his DMs. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. But it's just to say we have a single due to the podcast and we love bringing on single people. Because I know you guys are like, well, Kate and Jay, you know, you're not single anymore. Well, yeah, you frauds. Yeah. We are just horrible. We can't be running. I was just call for. I know. Yeah. We're canceled from the day to culture. I know. No. But we're so excited to have you and I'm just talking about this topic. But before we get in,
you do amazing things, Kate and will you tell everyone like what you do? Yeah. I want I want them to know. If you're not forthcoming, we're going to hype you up. Yeah. Exactly. Please do. Go there. I'll like just love you guys. Okay. No. First of all, thanks for coming in. I mean, I think it's cool. The listeners probably don't know this, but like we're hanging the whole day today. Yeah. It's just been so fun. And like you're in you and me studios in Pasadena,
which is really cool. I know this is so fun. It feels like I'm having friends over for dinner. And then just like getting it. It feels awesome. So thanks for letting me come. We'll show you. I give some cooking. Yeah. Yeah. He's actually going to bring in some stuff in a few minutes. Oh, perfect. No, but I lead a young adult unity revival and outreach movement called Yona. And what we aim to do is bring a gathering to cities that unites,
that unites, revives, and evangelizes cities for the kingdom. And as well as host a podcast called Questions with Kaden, and do some faith-based content creation stuff across all of the social platforms. I love it. You're podcast amazing. We are going to be on it. I think next week. Yeah. So you guys got to listen to this. And then next week go listening to Kaden's podcast. Yeah. Because we talk about singleness and why am I still single? Yeah. And it's a really good episode.
I mean, I biased, but it is really I really guess. It's a good. It was fantastic. You know what makes a podcast good is when as like the podcast host, you felt like you got to take a podcast off. That's how you know you had a good guess. And that was that's what it was like with you guys. You guys just came in. Blessed my listeners. Just blessed me and great conversation. Yeah. That's what it's saying. Yeah. They talked way too much.
No, no. No, it's hard having two guests. Those are your first time with two guests. So we probably talked like. I know. But it was good. It was I can't wait for Kate to finish your sentences. So I just just came in there. Yeah. You know, I came here to talk. So I'm just ready. Well, I mean, we'll do a lot of talking today. I will say before we jump in. I love how Yoda Knights has become. I've seen it on your Instagram now for how many months? Yeah. We're five months old. Five months old. Yeah.
So as young and fresh, lots of lots of raw, just devotion and pursuit. And it's a church agnostic, meaning you don't care what church they're coming from, what bridge of theology. It's just a night to gather. Yep. And yeah, you're night and just worship. Absolutely. And one of my biggest hearts for it is it's a place. And what I think is a safe place for a lot of people to come and experience Jesus for the first time. So I encourage people that are coming. Like, hey, bring a friend.
Bring somebody that wouldn't go to church with you. But we meet in theaters and warehouse buildings and come like hang with us and see like what this is about. This is not church. I always tell people we're not a church. We're not your church. We're just a church. And we get in one building no matter what you believe, what you're doctrine. And we sit down and we just worship Jesus. We just say, hey, we all believe in this one thing. His name is Jesus. He died for me.
I need a relationship with him. And we just we just host his presence and pursue him together. And the unity we've seen, the stories we've seen. I can talk for days about the miracles, the stories, the way God's moving. Like, it's been unbelievable. It's been the craziest thing that I've ever been a part of. And our team is just literally like awestruck with what's happening and what's coming. We're just, yeah, it's just crazy. I get goosebumps. I love that.
I really feel like that's a corporate movement. Yeah, we've started to see now cross the US. It's just groups of honestly, it's just Gen Z and millennials and millennials. Just saying like we really don't care about the church name and brand anymore. Like we just want Jesus. Yeah, my favorite thing has been like the breaking down of like any competition between churches that we've seen. Like we've had anywhere from like five to 10 pastors every single time.
Our next one we're going to shoot for 20, 30 pastors in the room. And the friendships we've seen out of those are amazing. We're seeing them preach each other's churches, so we're seeing them grab coffee, share strategy, become really good friends. It's been blessed with two guys that I've started to run with that have become my closest friends over the last six months out of this. It's been, it's been amazing.
So it's just been one of those things that I honestly just every damn like, well, I don't, I don't know why I get to do this, but I'm just grateful that like you picked me to lead this thing and we get to just steward what you do. I love it. So exciting. You know what it reminds me of it not the same way, but at conference this year for us, see, heart of dating isn't like a church congregation where we're like one theological background.
And so it's so cool is when we have conference, it's all different people from all across the country or world. Yeah. From all different denominations in one room. You might have a Baptist or hyper conservative. You might have like not hyper conservative over here. You might have serious baddies, fly away. Yeah. Right. All in the same room and worshipping at conference this year was like so Holy Spirit. And it could have not have predicted what was going to happen.
Yeah. But it was just the most profound, beautiful thing to see so many people of different backgrounds together that would probably never really me otherwise. Absolutely. What I've seen too, and I don't want to take too much time to talk about you on it obviously. But like what we've seen is that the the spirit moves differently in unity. Because what happens is the body is no longer separated. The Bible talks about how Christ is coming back for his bride.
Yeah. Not his non-denominational bride. Yeah. Not his Baptist bride. Right. Not just his Pentecostal bride. Right. He's coming back for his bride. Yeah. One that is not separated, one that has not cut itself into pieces, one that is not fighting against its own self. But one that's unified, united, that's seeking Jesus. Yeah. And when you see a group of young adults walk into a room. And what we're seeing even is all the young adults, we're seeing post-college into the early 30s, young families.
But you see people coming into this room and going, oh, we're not different. Right. Oh, I'm Baptist. You're not a non-denominational and you're Pentecostal. But we're all walking through things. We all need the presence of Jesus in our lives. We all need intimacy. I need transformation in my life. Right. I'm on my last straw. I need a friend. I'm lonely. Oh, we're all the same. Right. And the competition dismisses, I believe that the enemy flees in that room.
Yeah. Because we've seen chains of addiction, of depression, of anxiety, leave. And we've also seen competition leave. Yes. And the spirit moves in that room in a way that like I really can't even explain it. Yeah. So we've seen. I mean, that's how you know it's God. It's when something's produced that you can never drink. No. You can never, like, you can never plan for. Yeah. Like, prepare, like, this is what's going to happen tonight. No, the only spirit just does it.
I assume too you might have some people that come to Christ in these moments too. Absolutely. And that's true flees, one of my biggest hearts. Yeah. The unity part, but also the evangelism part is one of my biggest hearts. I like would call myself, I feel more of an evangelist than anything else in terms of like, if you had to categorize a calling. And so when I see people come and just fill the altars, I just, that to me is like the best thing I could ever see.
Incredible. Well, that's a perfect transition. Yeah. So talk about the beginning of the, I wanted to ask that because the, where I want to start the episode is talking about somebody who's in new Christian and dating in new Christian. So even if they're coming to you tonight, they experience an encounter God like wildly, phenomenally, right? And then, you know, they're like on fire. You see a lot of new Christians. I will say this about new Christians.
I have a really amazing friend who loves God. Her story is wild. I mean, it was raves. It was parties. It was hookups, drugs, like so many things. And she got wildly saved by God. And like it took a few years of like people like trying to like, you know, bring her to church and she was like, no, no, no. And then finally, you know, she did come to Jesus. And the way she ran after God after becoming a Christian was insane. Like she was all about it.
Like so fierce. And like you talk, you wrote this and actually in the notes. Like the joy of salvation, like David refers to in the Psalms, like there's nothing like that joy. Right. It's what he literally prays. You know, God, like return me to the joy of my salvation. The day, you know, the day I found you for the first time, where you were revealed to me or just a snippet of your glory was revealed. There should be nothing like that.
Yeah. Me and my eight, ten, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Right. Like you see that in people when they give their life to Jesus. You see that strength, that renewal, like run through their veins. Yes. Now what comes into the question of like dating for our people and the series on red flags is, let's say I've been a Christian for 20 years. Yeah. And I'm out of Yonalat night or I go to some night where somebody becomes a Christian.
And I meet them or the next week we hang out in a group and I'm like, wow, this person's on fire for Jesus. You find out they're a brand new Christian. Yeah. Is this somebody I should consider dating or not? So that's kind of what I want to bring up. Yeah. Because I've been a Christian a long time. Totally. Yes, I must be holy. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Like, oh, this person doesn't really know the gospel yet. Like, I'm a Christian totally. Right.
Like, there's this mature, you've been a Christian five years. Obviously, you're five years mature Christian. Right. Right. Yeah. Like, let's say I had only been a Christian for two years when you met me. Would you have dated me? Truly. Is that your actual answer to me? I'm asking you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah. What about one year? Yes. Yeah. Yes. I think that for me and my rule of dating, it was, if there are Christian and love Jesus with all their heart, soul, mind, and yeah, I would.
And now, like, I think, and what I would ask Hayden is, do you have a rule for dating new Christians? And if so, like, how do you kind of think? Like, what if it was somebody like on fire? Yeah. You know, I think it's interesting. Like, you can see people having counters with Jesus that are like transformative. Right. They're never the same. You can see what they do after that transformation.
Yeah. And I think that that's kind of how you can measure maturity, no matter how long they've been Christians, or given their life to Jesus, you can see like in the actions of what they're doing to continue to pursue Jesus, you can kind of tell where they're at in terms of their faith. Yeah. I wouldn't not date a new Christian. I would just do a little like fruit measurement. I would just, I would just look at a lot of things.
I think you said something in my podcast that's huge emotional maturity often relates to your, to your maturity in Christ, right? And I would say the same thing. I would say I would look at all of the categories. I would look at the categories of like, okay, where's the fruit in your friendships? Where's the fruit in your mental health? Where's the fruit in your physical health? Where's the fruit in your emotional health?
Where's the, you know, like I would look at all those things before I made a decision. I wouldn't necessarily keep the fact that they've only been a Christian for six months against them. I would just see, hey, where are you headed? What things have you placed in your life that are showing me? This is not just that I went to a night where I experienced the Holy Spirit, got transformed and then I went back to the party the next Saturday. What are you doing?
So for the last six months, have you had to cut off friendships? Have you, are you in church? Are you building new relationships? Are you in the word every day? Like my, those would be the questions I have to ask. And to be honest, Maddie B, I would, who your listeners have no idea who Maddie B is. Maddie B works for the rest of the questions that Kaden, but I would say he's a perfect example of a person that has not been saved super long. He would even say so himself.
But the emotional maturity and the relentless pursuit of Christ that Matt has for Jesus, outweighs people who have been Christians for years. Yes, because he seeks the heart of Jesus. And the heart of Jesus is what makes, is what difference is between a Christian and a Christ follower. Right. I can label myself a Christian, but am I actually at the heels of Jesus? Am I actually going where he's going? Am I doing what he's doing? Am I pursuing to know him?
His characteristics is the fruit in my life. Have I learned how to walk in the Spirit? You know, like are those things coming out or is this person like, oh yeah, you know, I met Jesus once and it was effing awesome, bro. And then like next, and they're like having a secret while you're having this conversation, you know, you're like, cool. Got it. Cool. But that same person in this argument could have been a Christian for 10 years. Right. Right.
So you know, to me, it's like, what is the fruit of your life look like and what is the pursuit of Jesus where you headed and is where you're going somewhere I want to go with you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe in God versus I'm truly walking with the Lord, which when we talk about the next category in a second, when we talk about Luke, where I'm Christian, that's where it comes into like, I'm a believer, but are you really a follower? Like are you really walking with God?
Yeah. Like truly is like, are you walking and being discipled by him on daily basis? And I think about the disciples of Jesus when you ask me that question. And I think about how he called every single one of them out of what they were doing. Peter get out of the boat.
And follow me and what those guys, I would argue, were the best Jesus followers of all time, only because of their proximity to Jesus, not because they were better than us, not because they are more faithful than us, not because they had it all together, not because they weren't tempted, not because they didn't fight amongst themselves. Or they were mostly at first.
Or they were cussing at each other like Peter, what like they, it's not because that's because of the proximity of their life and their direction and willingness to be focused on Jesus. And I'm going where he goes. No matter what happens, I'm going that way. Right. And then you think about the contrast of their life before Jesus was resurrected and went to heaven and after and the contrast of the biggest difference. I love the highlight of failure, failure, failure before Jesus.
And they're with him every day. And then after he departs and imparts his spirit in them and the contrast of their entire life. Absolutely. And the rocket ship. Yeah. That's right. And then after he's gone, he's going to be Peter going, like, Holy Spirit being like a, get away from me, get behind me, say to like, oh, yeah, people are getting healed in his shadow. Yes. Right. Exactly. And it's only one thing. Yep. That's the fruition of Holy Spirit.
Right. So I love that you brought the fruits because that was like in my notes. I was like, I really think like, you know, from my perspective that if they have fruit in their life, they should be considered. Yeah. Because there are plenty of Christians that have been a Christian for a long time that are dead in their faith that don't have fruit of the spirit. Right now, you know, but I do think like from our community, which I've read tons of things from our community and I love you guys.
You know, I love you. But like I do see some kind of self righteousness out there of like, well, they don't know all the verses in the Bible like I do. Yeah. Like they don't know their Bible as well as I do. And if there are new Christian, they probably don't yet know the Bible that well yet. Like depending on how long, right? Because some people like come a Christian and they're like, all they can do is read the Bible and they like memorize it.
But you know, reality is they might read the Gospels first. They might not know a ton of the Old Testament yet. Like they're kind of behind on knowing all that. But does that even really matter? Like I don't think it does. Yeah. You know, like if they're consistently pursuing Christ, it's more about the character and are they following Jesus than can they quote everything in the Bible? Yeah. In my opinion. Yeah. Who are they today? And where are they going?
Yeah. And the reality is that when you date and you marry, you're marrying their growth rate, right? Your data is how long you've known them. And so unfortunately, I wish it worked this way, but duration of being a believer in that length of time does not equate to spiritual maturity. Not always. Right. You know, it can equate to you. Right. And a religious spirit. Yeah. Right. I know how to look like a Macrishian. Exactly. I can talk. I can talk like a Macrishian.
Yes. I can quote scripture all day long, but it's never permeated their heart. Yeah. It's allowed the Holy Spirit to do a work in them that has allowed them to be a spirit-led believer that's been transformed from the inside out. They can just regurgitate facts. So that's the question. Right. Yeah. Is that how you guys would define a lukewarm Christian? Great question. That's a transition to the next category. Yeah. That's great.
I mean, lukewarm Christian, and I actually, I put some things on here. I mean, we can define it first, but I actually took from Francis Chanda to find what a lukewarm Christian really is. Do you guys want to hear that first? I love it. It's tough to hear. It's tough to hear. It's tough to hear. Yeah. Because I like, it took from, you know, really amazing guy himself. We were like, K-N-Ware talking about someone else, and then as soon as we went through this list, we're like, oh, you go, oh, God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's humble me real quick. Yeah. I mean, that's a little warning, guys. I lead a ministry and I have a podcast. I know where I'm lukewarm. Yeah. So one of the most holy bullies, right? Yeah, exactly. But okay, Francis Chanda, he talks about seven signs of a lukewarm Christian in Crazy Love, his book. Okay. So they want to be saved from the consequences of their sin. Basically, they don't have a desire for holiness. So they just want an escape from their consequences.
I just want to be escaped. It's an action to call children. It's hard to say. It doesn't sound good. Like, it doesn't sound good. Like, I'm saved. I'm good. But they still keep living in perpetual sin. So that's first. Number two, they are moved by radical things for Christ, but don't do radical things for Christ themselves. Which is, that's hard. It's like, oh, I'm so moved by that. Like seeing you know, oh my gosh, how amazing. But then never going out and talking about Jesus to
anybody else or never starting the thing. God asked them to start. Exactly. Yeah. Which can be anything. It doesn't even have to be, I think we're just so obsessed with microphone and platform. Yeah. I agree. Something doesn't have to be something that broadcasts. You know, reaches thousands and thousands or hundreds. Like starting something could literally just be like, you're a literal next door neighbor. Yeah. We had a widow who her husband died
and her place is in shambles. And it was just Kate. Like, we got to do something for her. Like we have, we cannot delay this anymore. Yeah. I don't care how stressed out we are. How many things we have going on? It was right before our wedding. I was like, I don't care. He's like, I'm going to go help the neighbor. I'm like, we have to backup our wedding stuff. Order. But we're going to get on our hands and knees and scrape and
clean and like, wow, get in there and do radical things outside Sunday. Yeah. You know, yeah. But still that challenge is being like, because we have this podcast. You have what you're going on doing and still like, it's easy to be like, Oh, well, I do this. So that's big enough. But then what about the person I meet at the coffee shop or my neighbor or like my day to day life interactions, like even for me, that's convicting of like,
wow, because it is so easy. I used to live in New York City. It's so easy. Just like, don't look at anybody. Just think about yourself and just be like head down. Right. And don't engage with people like New Yorkers. Don't really engage with people. You know, and that's so opposite of the call. But I think so that one was really like, was really challenging. And I love it with what we talked about, you know, having a transform experience with
Christ is amazing. But it's honestly tantamount of importance to go out from that moment and live a transform life with Christ permitting. Yep. Okay. What about the third one? They written this is similar. Rarely share their faith with their neighbors or friends or strangers because they don't want to be rejected. Yeah. So look, we're on Christian. I talk about it all the time. I always say like, so what? Yeah. Like so what? If you go tell someone,
hey, can I pray for you and they go, no, so what? Right. Like if if you tell you, breathe, hey, I just want to let you know the one I walked past you, I just had this overwhelming sense that Jesus loves you. And I just wanted to tell you, he hears your prayers and they go, get away from me. So what? Exactly. Like I didn't lose anything. Right. They just missed out on the biggest opportunity that they could ever receive in their life. Like
and you start to value. Yes. Jesus. You start to value the kingdom. You start to value salvation in with a kingdom mindset. And you stop looking at like, oh, my my life on earth is is it? But you start looking eternally. You look at them and realize you just missed out on the biggest thing. I missed out on nothing. Right. Yeah. Like so, like so what? Like let's do like almost destigmatize the like go going and telling your breeze that Jesus loves them.
Yes. You don't lose anything if they say no. And honestly, I've never had somebody ever. Actually, one time someone was like, can you can I pray for you? And they said not today. Like I was going to see them again. But maybe next time. Yeah. But next time you're like, dude, I don't even know who you are. But like I've never had anybody like have like freak out on. Yeah. See? That's amazing. And still like for people listening, I'm like, hey, I hope this is a good
check in for you. Thanks, Frances Chan, to just like say to yourself, am I kind of the gorm in some categories? Like, you know, the goal isn't perfection. But it also is to think about like how we can be challenge here. If that's hard for you, which if you're human, it would be find something to do with. Yes. Find a guy. Find a girl who is unashamed. And I promise you, you will grow. You will grow in that boldness. Absolutely. Yes. Go ahead. You want to do number four?
I'll do number four. Okay. They think about earth. No, this one's so good. And of course, it's Frances Chan. They think about earth more than eternity. Yeah. That's crazy. That's such a Frances Chan thing to say. I know. He's so about eternity, which I love. I love. But he's like preaching on it all the time. But that is I never even thought about that one until he said it. Like listening away. Someone talks, especially for I think it's a great litmus test for spiritual
maturity, for sure. To what degree are they holding eternity for sure in every interaction, action, belief, marriage, career work. Absolutely. How does the belief of eternity impact their life? Oh yeah. Okay. Number the next one. They love their luxuries and rarely give to the poor in a truly sacrificial way. JJ challenges me on this all the time. Yeah. He does. Because I can kind of live in a comfortable bubble. Yeah. I'm great actually. It's a good thing to say. But
that's good. I mean, I'm going to give you for sure. No, it was something about a year ago. The Lord really put on my heart. Like, hey, this needs to be like non-negotiable for you in terms of like giving to the local church and then like being generous with your things in your life. Yeah. Yeah. And it's been like transformed. Like at first you start tithing. You're like, oh, God. And now you're like, you get excited. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to see what I'm
getting excited. And you know, I would challenge you. Give to the point where giving hurts. Oh, yeah. And that's where I've been for the last year. Like, I've been giving to the point where I was like, I needed that. Yeah. Yeah. But trusting God with that has been insane to see. Oh, yeah. It's the, it's the best thing if you struggle with attaching. Yes. In comfort and materialism. Yeah. Give, just give it and see what it does and how it changes your heart.
Yeah. The best advice. So good. The next one. I think the last two are like really convicting. I find they don't live by faith because their lives are so structured. So they never have to. They don't have to live by faith because their lives are structured. I would almost argue that this is the like the most common one. Yes. This one. I think the last one like their list, their perfect list, which Jay-Jay knows I struggle with this like to do list and
fitting and structure. Like it's so filled and so perfect that if God calls you to something, there's no room for that. I can't do that. Like, look, I'm already doing all these things. So there's no space for God to work and say, Hey, go here or like we're talking about, your days are so built and structured that at the grocery store, I have God does give you a prompting. Oh, I can't. I have to be at the next thing. Yeah. So I literally can't spend this five minutes,
10 minutes. Your plan is uninterruptible. Yeah. My plan is more importantly, gods is really what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. And my time is for me, not for God. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You haven't submitted your time or you haven't submitted what you, what you, your mindset looks like in like serving Jesus. Yeah. Let me put it this way. This is tough because Kate and I, we did squabble on this. Yeah. We started and we need to get back into it.
I'm practicing Sabbath. I'm going to listen to the rule of life podcast by John Mark comar. You know, spiritual formation. So good. And he's a Sabbath. He's a beast of the Sabbath. And I fought Kate tooth and nail like a little baby because she want to start in the fall. And you know, it's in the fall. That ball. Yeah. Football is in the fall. Yeah. My Sundays are sacred, not for church, but for football football. I'm so excited for football.
So I would literally saying, but I would craft my Sabbath instead of saying so instead of with a whiteboard saying, what can I do to advance my relationship with God in this 24 hour period? I would start with what can I do and enjoy and include God in that I can pass off as restful. You see the difference? Yeah. Yeah. Big time. I have you read John Mark comar's book actually? Yes. This elimination of hurry. Yes. It's if he talks about like the things he does on Sabbath.
Yes. Which are amazing because he talks about like the things that like hope were juvenile your soul essentially. Right. I had a mentor the other day. I like sat down for coffee with him and he goes, how are you doing, man? And I was like, I'm tired. Yeah. It's like I'm tired. Like this young thing took off way faster than I thought and the podcast is this and I'm like emotionally and
mentally I'm tired. Yes. And he's like, all right, let's fix it. And he wrote, he made me break up my life into four sections daily, weekly, monthly and annually and talked about the things basically didn't exercise about the things I need to do every single day and every single week to help me recharge my soul. It's good. And I went to go right down the first thing I went and I went to go right down like spend time with Jesus. And he was like, no, no, no, no, no, he's like,
that's a given. Yeah. He's like, if that if you got to write this down, like problem number one, like you got to write down, spend he's like, this is like a given that you have spent time with Jesus. Yes. Like you are an intimate relationship with him every day. Like what are the other things you need to do? Like, oh, you like the mountains? Go to the mountains. Yes. Like go get refilled with Jesus. So that was like, like, JJ loves golfing and I like encourage him. Let's go go. Oh, yeah,
you guys definitely need to bro golfing. Do that. Be sick. Yeah. I'd be so down because I feel like guys have their most intimate conversations on the golf and course. We do. For men, you have had your best conversations probably on patio, you know, with that old glass, you know, iron furniture. Mm-hmm. And two road trips. Yep. Maybe the golf course. The thing that the hell having common is you're not looking at the guy eye eye. That's so true. Look at some of the best conversations
leaning over a porch on like a balcony. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Because you're not face like this guy's on it. Matt is with you. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're not making eye contact. You know, you're looking at something else. Yeah. And just talking about this. Yeah. Of course, his girls. It's not that way at all. You've always seen like the same chair and like standing each other's eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wonder blanket together. Sure. It's coming
with that guy's we're built different. Like we can't have that unbroken eye contact. Yeah. And like talk. Yeah. So good. Yeah. That's such a good point, bro. I know. That's crazy. You need to talk about that in the men's minisodes. You do. Well, actually you just mentioned also number seven. They give God their leftovers, not their first and best. When your friend said, if you even have to write that down, it's a problem, right? Yeah. Like, and this is a hard thing.
This goes back to Ruthless minute elimination of her. This goes back to time. Like if you are giving God your leftovers, like, and you're not prioritizing that, like that's a problem. So all these seven things, according to Francis Chan, like define a lukewarm Christian. So then this is the thing. Let's talk about it when it comes to dating you guys because I feel like what's hard and dating is like how do we when we are figuring out at this person's lukewarm,
there's a part of that is judgment. Like if I don't really know them off the bat, I'm just judging their lifestyle because it's not exactly the same as mine. But, Kaden, I want to hear from you on that. I actually would say that. I think you should judge them. I don't think there's anything wrong with like healthy judgment. Matthew seven talks about
you will know a tree by its fruit as you'll know a person by its actions. Yes. And I think I think you should be watching them and looking and measuring and saying like, what are your actions? How are you living your life? What is coming off of your life? A scripture also talks about what you'll see in scripture a lot. You see it in luke. I think it's chapter 13. The parable of the fig tree. There's another parable with Jesus actually
curses a fig tree talking about the like importance of of trees bearing fruit. And the tree is always the example of like a human. Yeah. Yeah. Having fruit coming out of their life and if fruits not coming out of life, there's dead pieces in their life. There's a dead tree. There's dead roots. There's dead something. So for me, I think like obviously, I don't mean like judge them like like
with your nose up in the air. But I mean like way like measure like view. Like I think it's okay to like put a little microscope on them a little bit and see like, hey, what is going on like in these areas? You know, like because you can see some things from somebody off some interactions. Yes. The way they speak. Even like what JJ was saying, like how someone can talk about eternity versus the world, what they're motivated by. Right. What they talk. How they talk about other
people behind their backs. Oh, yeah. 100 times. How they are they talking about their ex super battle. They talk about their ex. Yeah. How they bash their waitress. How they talk about their parents. How they answer their phone when their mom calls when they're out with friends and they don't want their mom calling like yeah, you can measure fruit. Yes. By with with slow interactions and tell
what's happening in somebody's heart. I agree with you entirely. The reason I said but earlier was like only because I think sometimes in church settings, we see someone and maybe they're not leading a Bible study. Maybe they're not the worship leader. And that's when they're judging them versus when what you're saying is it's a process because I believe dating is a process of evaluation. Yeah. Yeah. You are evaluating them based on what like your core values are your non-negotiables
and these things. And that takes some time and analysis of like getting curious asking questions watching their actions. But if we're judging off the bat, that's where I have more of an issue. How can you really tell their lukewarm? Like when if you just met them at church just because they're not doing xyz, the same as you. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to interrupt you, JJ. Oh, you don't have to. But like I would say that like I actually am not looking at if you're
leading a Bible study. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really not like I'm actually not looking at like if you're at church every single Sunday because we talked about you can check boxes. Right. Like I think you can identify fruit in people's lives by like their character, their integrity. Like those are the things that I'm saying like look at. Yeah. Like if someone's not leading a Bible study, it's not the end of
the world. You have no idea how they're ministering to people. Exactly. Until you get closer life. Well, I agree plus. And then I want you to step in because I just being like that many people know my story has to do with like dating an abusive person. He was a church leader. You can check the box for sure. You can have. And the thing is about the spiritual fruit. You can look like you have spiritual fruit. Yeah. But you need to know what the inside of that fruit looks like. Is it
rotten fruit? You know, like as people can like show that they're doing all the right things and look like they have spiritual fruit. Yeah. On the outside or in certain situations. But though when you take them out of that situation or when you really challenge them or when things don't go their way, then you're like, are you actually patient for sure? Are you actually kind? For sure. Like what's the quality of the fruit? Yeah, I would agree that you can't be like a
snap a snap judgment. Obviously. Like yeah, I think that we that's good to clarify. Like you can't go to dinner one time with somebody when maybe they were just having the worst day of their life. And they you know, I mean like you can't just have that like snap. But like there's the process of like identifying the fruit and cutting it open and seeing what's there and seeing if it's true and seeing if it's love bombing. Yeah. Which I just learned about guys. Exactly.
I know that next week on the podcast. Yes, come back next week into the heart of dating podcast. To check out the red flag of love bombing. It's not. But yeah, just learned about that. You know, they can do like all those things. Yeah. To make it look right, right? Like it. That's the power of a lukewarm Christian is like they know how to look like a Christian, but they don't know how to live like a Christian. Right. So if you're around them long enough, you'll start to see how they live.
And it doesn't add up to their fruit. Right. Yeah. It's look, I think it's. Oh, JJ has a thought. Well, first of all, I think you're right. And I'm on your team and shout out JP and become something. Yeah. They just had a great episode of what do you do if your Christian friends aren't acting very Christian? That's so good. I should steal that idea for an episode. Yeah. And he said a very similar thing like you absolutely have authority to look into their life. And yeah, not necessarily
judge, but evaluate. Yeah. And I think he's second Corinthians. It's basically talking about if they are drunkards, if they are living a life of lavishness, of glutney, don't even break bread with them. So and there is that. I mean, that's literally what Paul says is, hey, if you're Christian brother, you know, and talks about going to them and secret, then going to them with company, and then going to them with the church and the council and the greater, if they're still
unrepentant of those three times, don't even break bread with them. So there is absolutely a degree of evaluation as a Christian man and Christian woman that you're called a Biden. For sure. And if you do not abide, there is opportunity after opportunity, but if you are unrepentant, and this is where it's terrifying for me, Matthew 7, where he talks about depart from
me for a never knew you. And they said, didn't we cast out demons and perform wonders? So it's very clear to me, I can't even just look at your actions and your fruit and what's great about your ministry to evaluate your heart. Absolutely. But what I can do is look how you respond and repent to failure. Don't you see? Yep. Don't you see? Yeah, that's like the greatest test of how someone responds when things go their way. They're going to failure. Things are going the way. When they're caught.
Can you see someone under pressure? Yes. You get the real, the real person. Yeah, we've probably all been, I've been in a relationship where you're like, oh, this is amazing. And then you see them stressed. You're like, who is that? Yes. Who is that? You know? Exactly. And listen, how do they rest my greatest lit my favorite litmus test of character as how do they respond when things don't go their way? Yeah. Or they're caught and said, yeah. Or like, because look at our Bible. It is
filled with man after man after man who is messed up. David, how did he respond? Yeah, repentance. One of my favorite litmus tests is integrity. And I think integrity is being the same everywhere that you are. Yeah. And so I love to view people in different situations with different friend groups at in different environments. Yeah. Because I think if you see someone that's the same in all of those, you can, you see like, oh, this person doesn't have a mask on. Exactly. Like you can see
the, the consistency of their life. Like, oh, they're the same at church. They're the same at that birthday party. Right. They're the same at dinner. Behind closed doors. They treat their parents the same. Oh, that they treat their sister the same way. They're the same with the waitress as they were with that really famous person they ran into on the street. You know, like, yeah, oh, they're the same. They're not like hiding anything. They're not like faking anything. They're
in tegris. Right. Yes. It also helps you get rid of what I would say is those more narcissistic abuser type people that can put on masks in front of other people. I would say the last point, I would say just in this topic is like, how are they talking about Jesus? Because Gary Thomas is a friend of ours. And he says that they're not talking about God. They're probably not talking to God. So I'm like, woo, okay. That's great. So like, how are they talking about Jesus? Like,
they might go to church, but outside of Sunday, are they talking about Jesus? Are they bringing it up? Like, God did this in my life today. I'm so grateful. Yeah. That for God to God for this time, the other or like, are they bringing up those conversations? Yeah, we've all seen those people that like are quick to talk about the Lord within their with the Christian friends. Exactly. I used to have hesitate on it when they're with other people that don't believe in Jesus. They're
like, yes. Like any other time they'd be like, yeah, God's good. I just got this promotion. And then they're with somebody else. And they're like, yeah, I just got a promotion. Man, I don't know. Just got lucky. Yeah, exactly. And you're like, whoa, that shows that shows a very interesting, like deep dive into like what they actually perceive about Jesus and their intimacy with him. From wanting to please other people. Yeah. Yeah. Who their life is pointing to. So let's talk
about the last one, which is I feel like this will be fast. I mean, dating a non-Christian. I want to go through first like why I think guys and girls do this. Based on being a dating coach for many years, I find that women do this because they make the claim that some guys that are non-Christian pursue them better and communicate better than guys that are actually Christian. Which is true. I'm probably fair because honestly, like we've kind of like gotten weird.
Yes. To be honest, like as Christians guys have gotten and girls have gotten weird, dude. Yes. Like Christian dudes. Like, truthfully, I've said this to friends. Yes. Dating a Christian girl is harder than going and dating a non-Christian girl. Yes. And girls, like I know plenty of amazing girls that are like, I just, I try to go on dates with these Christians and they're just so weird. Yeah. And they're bad at communicating.
And then I go on a date with the non-Christian and it's like, wow, they let me know in advance when the date was going to be. They communicated it before they communicated after how they felt. They planned another day. They were like so intentional. Yeah. They had deep conversations. Yeah. I just said that. And they were like, I didn't feel like I was guessing
all the time. No. That's not the, that isn't always the case, right? Not all Christian guys are this way, but it's just like, okay, I find also on the flip side, I see a lot of guys doing this because they why? Find some really attractive non-Christian. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not what's cable. Oh, sorry. One of the things. Why do you think I see these? Why do you're homies? Because there's some baddies in this world. But maybe I can bring them to church and maybe
we missionary day, right? Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah, it's tough. Especially guys. Okay, I'm just saying. You guys are showing guys under the bus. No, sorry. I'm sorry. But I feel like the guy takes the, the like mentality of like, I'm going to lead this woman to Jesus. Savor complex. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it's hard. I actually just kind of like you went through this. I went out with some friends. Yeah. We went to stage coach actually. Oh,
fine. Shout out country music. I love it. Also, you can go to stage coach and not get drunk. Yes. Yes. So yeah, when the stage coach friend of mine played and gave me some tickets, I went and I wore real cowboy boots. These are my, these are two nice to wear on this. Yeah, these are my LA cowboy boots. I've convinced myself I'm a cowboy, but I'm a different kind of cowboy. Is that a cowboy boot? I mean, we don't have to get into this. Anyway, JJ.
Wait, is that it? You're so severe. You're in blaze. That is, these are women's actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, JJ, they're for men. All right. I love the pads on the shoulder. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I really think you're blush. Your blush looks fantastic right now. I forgot to mention that. You're makeup artist at a great job this morning. Actually, there's that stage coach. Got some tickets as far as theirs with some friends and ended up meeting up with some of my friends
friends. And we were all hanging out and there was a girl there that was first of all ridiculously pretty. And second of all, super cool. Yeah. Start talking immediately, hit it off and was probably one of the easiest girls I've ever talked to in my life. Yeah. Like, was it asking me questions about myself, my family, where I grew up, like what I did for living, blah, blah, blah, everything. Like was asking me the most intentional questions.
I've probably been asked in my life. We had a great time together. And then I find out you're not a Christian. Right. Right. And honestly, heartbreaking. Yeah. You go so close. Yeah. So close. But I think the reality is this. And I think like, you have to be honest, honest with yourself and honest with like what happens in relationships in those situations. A lot of times, if you end up dating somebody that is, let's call them lukewarm or let's call them a non-Christian.
Yeah. What ends up happening is they often pull you down to their level or become a weight that doesn't allow you to continue to ascend in your relationship with Jesus. Yeah. Listen, it's just go to the image. This is the same for the new Christian, the lukewarm Christian. And finally, the non-Christian equally yoked is the best analogy you could ever consistently think of. Think about, you know, to the degree that you consider yourself a bull and oxen strong matured, nourished,
ready. And then think about that partner. Like to every degree that you are compensating, it's going to be dragging your work, your kingdom work. And that's the reality of OnePlus 1 equals 3 you two together. And listen, like marriage and relationship is hard. Adding being a pastor to your partner is going to make it even harder. Yeah. And it creates a really unhealthy, codependent guidance. And incredibly. And the biggest thing, because I'm missionally dated. Yeah.
One time. Yeah. And I hope as believers, if you if you do make that mistake, I hope you learn from it. In the sense of I did it one time. And I actually had a mentor basically point out. Very bluntly, hey, listen, when you do this, you are tying the success of their relationship to God to yourself. Totally. You are the lucky, you know, big pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And it is the most arrogant, self-inflated, constorted thing that you could ever do. Yeah.
So please don't. It's also a burden that I don't think you ever built to carry. Yeah. You know, I built to carry like someone else's faith. Yeah. And and blend it with a romantic twisted, you know, like, like, and even like on like a like a purity level. Yeah. How impossible is that? Like it's already hard if you're two Christians. Yeah. Imagine if one is not a Christian. Yeah. And it has opposite is like, no, let's sleep together. And you're like, no, and they're like, why?
And you're like, because this and they're like, I don't even believe that. And then you're like, well, does not work. Yeah. Okay. I just had a friend who broke up with a girl, awesome girl. She, they had a great relationship, but she wasn't a Christian. And they didn't agree on the purity stuff. Yeah. I'm proud of him. He may had to make that sacrifice and do that. And it just adds another
level of something. But the reality of like, if success is people knowing how Jesus and being more attracted to him is I don't think you can mentally date and leave that person with a better image of Jesus and a Christ follower in the midst of that heartbreak. Yeah. It's going to be so discerrallistic. The opposite. You heard those stories. Yes. I wasn't Christian, but I dated this guy. He was the worst. And then right. Exactly. So it's more devastating. So there is a caveat here.
I just want to make for if you are go online because we are a lot of our people online date. And we love online dating. So if you go online, let's say the person puts Christian, but it's like, they're not right. They maybe they put that because like they were they went to Christmas and Easter a few times a year growing up. But they're really not a Christian. So you go on a date with them and they're like, no, I'm not really Christian at all. Yeah. Yeah. You can't know that for a
fact, you're not going to like, like, I just, I'm like, I'm more spiritual. I'm more spiritual. I'm more spiritual. Welcome to L.A. Yeah. I'm more spiritual. Okay, bummer. Okay. Great. Awesome. What's your sign, Kaden? Yeah. I'm a Leo. Actually, don't mind. So, but like the thing is like, you can't set them out entirely before a first date online. Okay, guys, and don't interrogate them online. Go on a 90 minute interaction. And this is why you have to take the pressure off of the date. Because
even if they are you find out on the date, they're not a Christian. What an awesome opportunity. Like we have talked about to leave them better than you found them. Yeah. Like you don't put too much pressure on this date. Now it's just I'm meeting somebody that is not a Christian. I'm not going to go out with them again, but I'm going to get curious about them. I'm going to show them the love of
Jesus. I'm going to like just get to know them as a human versus I'm going to try to romantically pursue them. No handshake after dinner. Yeah, exactly. Great meeting you as my car if you need anything. You want to come to church with me? Yeah. Because I do see also so many people make that mistake. I'm like, if you like really adore this non-Christian person, invite them to church be their friend, but don't date them. Yeah. Yeah. It's great to invite them to church. It's great to pursue
potentially a friendship, but like don't don't do it. Yeah. And I think that decision is got to be made before you even go on dates. Yeah, it's got to be enough. Yeah, it's got to be like meditated. Yeah. I made this decision because we will it's amazing. We will justify what we want. Yeah. First. Yeah. Especially if you're a dude and she's at stage curbs and sees inner days you do. Yeah. She's got great personality. Yeah. We don't have to relive it, man. I'm still
working through it. Yeah. Still working through some of the drama. I'm still genuinely hard work. Yeah. We don't have to go through that. Yeah. I've been up all night. So I'm just kidding. All right, guys. So we're going to end this episode with something fun. Do you have something fun prepared? Because we have to do you prepared the fun end? And now what? You're prepared the fun end. Actually, guys, I prepared the fun end. You were the fun end. Okay, guys. So
supporting the fun end is important. Okay, the fun end is this. Did anybody go to see barben hybrid this weekend? Okay, actually, I don't like going to the movies. Oh, really? I know. This is a big, this is a big like hot take and I don't know how Matt feels about this. He thinks that's Booth. But I, I just don't end yet. Booth like not. Is that anyone? No, it's actually an old one. It's an old one. Yeah. He Matt and B.O.O.F.
I think he's a pH. I got him. I got him. I was definitely not. Yeah. Which one is it? I tried to make it nice. What is how would you spell Booth? Yeah, that sounds good to me. What's the same for? Like lame stupid dumb. Yeah. You don't like the movie. So I, okay, I just think it's extremely overrated. And I don't think we have enough time on the podcast to like for me to go through this. No. But like personally, we can talk about this, guys. I just think like overrated,
JJ's like dying inside. No, I'm just so curious. Oh, I'm just curious. First time ever Matt. It's been like, there's like a lot going on. It's expensive. There's like a lot going on. There's sticky lots of people. I have, I have a small bladder. I got a pee lot during the movies. Okay. I miss a lot of the movies. I don't like popcorn. So like popcorn is. I'm highly looking to top part of it. You guys are my people. The thing I look forward to at a movie theater,
Icees. Also, you know, you can get an Icy for a way cheaper. 7-Eleven. We can talk about this all day, but even then the only problem with Icees is the first like third is great. And then it's just Icy. But now we have to talk about the other controversial thing is I'm sorry. I know it's not a lot, but I sneak in snacks. Like I have to sneak in. Oh, yeah. I don't even think the movie theaters upset about that. Are they? No. Like I said, I think I'd be like, Hey, I'm a
littered to wheat and corn. I can eat anything that you sell me. So I bring my own. Yeah, I would have a whole thing. I'm like, I'm just a lurched to your bad attitude right now. And let me get like I think if I worked at a movie theater and I was the security guy checking the women's purses because that's where you hide the candy. Let's be honest. Right. And you like click the flashlight and look in. It's just like sour patch kids. I'd like. You're good. You're good.
You get I would take a cut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's gonna cost you five. Yeah, that's good. Five watermelons right there. Five me after before. Exactly. Just saving. I love it. I would take a cut. I would take a cut. When people bring like full blow meals into the day. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that. Yeah. But I don't you can't do that with the environment. I'm so awkward. Didn't you? No. Yeah. She
ripped up the same thing. No, I didn't know. The hottest movie theater. What do I do that? I think you did. You give off the bring salmon to movie theater for sure. I don't do that anymore. You guys they were like organic candies like a cabernet inside like your tumbler or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Now I bring like my Oli pop, my organic candies from Whole Foods. So visual. I've never had an
Oli pop. They're so good. You're missing out. I'm a CVA guy. What's that? CVA. Yeah. It's like a. I've seen it. It's like a stevia soda. I really. You gotta try Oli pop though. It's so good. Like if you like orange. You buy Oli pop. Yeah. I see so many people so hungry to get sponsored by them. Oh, Janina's. Yeah. At Janina. Yeah. Janina. Just thirsty. I'm like, it's like dating the more you want. Yeah. Exactly. I did that with Celsius for the longest time. I would tag them in like everything.
And they like would like start liking stuff back. And one day I was like, this is the best flavor and like put my favorite flavor in there. Like ours too. And I was like, hey, if you all ever want to like send me stuff like let me know and they basically were like, no, we're good. Yeah. Because they're like, you're buying them already. I'm like, you're like, you're like, you're buying them right. I didn't give them the tags. Yeah. They're like, you freely advertising. Why would we
send? Yeah. Pay you to advertise. Yeah. Exactly. They humble you. Which I just advertised Celsius in the podcast again. By the way, though, I loved Barbie. I saw it on Friday night. It was amazing. Loved it. Did you do theheimer? No, I need to see openheimer. You wouldn't go with me. I don't know what you were not feeling well this weekend. I really want to see openheimer. I love the movies. I just love it. But I hear you overpriced stuff. We have an AMC. I have a whole
list, though. Like that's just the top. We'll get into it. Well, if it was more affordable, the ticket, would you be a bigger fan? I think it would begin there. Yeah. I think it would begin to be a little bit better. But still, there's like a there's it's deep seated man. It's a lot of reasons. A lot of reasons. You don't have time to unpack the page. This is a legit secret. Yeah. That people want to talk about. You can pay 25 bucks a month for an AMC pass. Yeah. I love it.
And you guys just made it. You want. I don't want to go to the movies. I know. We're like trying to convince. Yeah. That's fun. You like the bottom. I can tell you all these things down to like it's not good quality time. It's not a good day. I would argue you that not a good day. Not good quality time. I would be at the bottom of that list would also be like also I don't want to go. So that's probably any other activity that's classically
overrated for you. Pickable. I can see you be an hater. No, I like pickle ball. Yeah, you just give off hates. Pickable. I don't like it much. Matt laughed at that. That's funny. Now I played tennis my whole life. So I love. Do you? JJ. I am disgusting. I get you on the court with Caleb. Janine's. When Caleb, they're coming in August. I don't know. They told you guys. We're staying at a place. No way. Okay. I'll see you guys. I'll come down. We're going to come down.
Oh, so you guys have been gone and they'll be at the place. I'll be at your place. You're shopping. Yeah. Sure things good before their marriage. Exactly. You can say you're still engaged. By the way, hey, just to let you know marriage hasn't happened. Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping on the couch. And I'm going to be put in a monitor in your room. Just absolutely. Yeah. There's no alarm if you guys touch each other. I'm going to bring a baby monitor. I'm going to do the album.
Are you sure your dog is going to be there? Yes. I'm going to watch your dogs. Yeah, are super. We do have to get together and get the dogs. Yeah, we're just an Irvine, right? Yeah. I'm going to church an Irvine. So yes. I mean, we're there every weekend. Of course. I'll bring Bronx down one of these days. We'll go. Oh, Bronx. Alright, bro. What we love you. Thank you so much for coming. In case you guys didn't know, Kaden.Fabrizio.
Questions with Kaden. Subscribe. Make sure to engage all that content. Thank you. You're no nice. Let's go. You're no nice. Let's go. Where to come? Hey, big news. Teasing lots of stuff coming. I mean, I can't really tell you much. I would say if you are a Southern California young adult, look forward to September. I would love to be in September. We're 18 to 35. Okay. But we don't push anybody away. Yeah. But yeah, we've had like grandmas and stuff come with
their young adult. Oh, sweetest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, if you're going to own SoCal, put September on your calendar. But then after that, you don't have to be in SoCal anymore. I'll just say that. We may be closer to you than you think. So, yeah. Thank you Jesus. That's so excited. Well, we love you, bro. Thank you so much for coming along. Thanks for being on. Absolutely. Big honor. The Heart of Dating podcast is created by Kate and JJ
Tomlin. Shout out to our epic audio and video editor, Scott Carro. We have an amazing Heart of Dating team who helps bring the show to you each week. I want to shout out Kelsey Napier, our Heart of Dating digital marketing coordinator, and Elena Gibson, our brand and community manager. We couldn't do it without them. Now, if you guys have never ranked us or reviewed us on iTunes or Spotify, would you consider doing that? It would mean so much.
Because our podcast can get more discovered and more people can learn how to better day as Christians. Don't we all want that? We launch our podcast each and every week on Wednesdays. So we'll see you next week.