Welcome to Healthy Ish.
Thanks for tuning into the daily podcasts from Body and Soul. I'm your host, Felicity Harley. Today we're joined by a business growth strategist and coach, Bianca Monley. Back in the day, she ran the uber successful food delivery service called Eat Fit Food. We're exploring the idea of a circle of influence, why you need to surround yourself with your right people,
and also how to make friends as an adult. Listening to our sister podcast Extra Healthy Ish, where we talk about how to manifest your success in twenty twenty five. You can grab that one wherever get your podcasts.
Banker, welcome back, Thank you, thank you n having you on the podcast again. How are you?
Yeah?
Really really wow, great to be here. Thank you.
Now talk to us about the inner circle. I love this quote. You've got new book. It's called that app Well. It says the you are the average of the five people you spend time with. Yes, what what isn't in a circle and why is it important?
Okay, So if you kind of have a look about your life and times that you may have had in your life where there may be one or two people or that are in you're in a circle who are dragging you down, maybe not supporting your bigger ideas, not lifting you. It can really have an effect on the way we live in our life and not pursuing our dreams and you know, not pursuing our health goals and things like that. So it's really really important to take
notice of who is in you're in a circle. You know those top five people that we have as friends. I guess most people can't count them on more than five five fingers, but you know who are they and you know are they making you feel good? And are they uplifting you and supporting your goals and dreams.
Has this been something I mean, you've been been successful in business, has this been something that you've that has developed if you've got old or has always been just a kind of mancher that you live by.
I've developed it.
And when I first started my business, I mean I was only twenty one, so I would take on anyone who could help me, you know, make meals and deliver them and whoever would help. And I found myself attracting people to kind of want to help them and lift
them up. And you know, people who would always be late, and then I'd give them another chance, and just constantly hearing the stories and problems of what they were dealing with and what it had as a result was I was constantly dragged into you know, their life and.
What was going on with their drama. Yeah, their lives.
And their drama, and then I was pulled away from creating you know, great things within the business because there was always something wrong. So learning how to move people on after you know, a couple of chances in business was something I learned the hard way.
You do you have how does it work for you?
Do you have just five people who cross both business in life or do they kind of mesh into.
Two or they I have a circle for business and circle for life and then they probably you know, mix into two.
Obviously.
You know, my family and my partner are all very very supportive, and you know they cheer me on for everything, which is incredible having that support in the home but also in business. And you know, I constantly on a Monday morning, I'm like, who do I look up to?
Who do I admire?
Who would I reach out to? And you know, through social media and just providing positive comments and what people are doing to you know, it will lift them as well, and just making sure you're connecting with those people who really inspire you.
Well, I think it has to work both ways, right, You need to lift people up, but you need people to lift you up. You talked before about getting I mean I hate saying getting rid of people, but letting people people out of that inner circle.
How do you how have you learned to do that?
Well, you can still be there for people, it's just not necessarily helping to feed the drama. So instead of engaging and giving advice or you know, I don't know, relationship problems, Oh, you shouldn't be with him, or that's you know, that's he's doing these terrible things. And so instead of feeding the issues and the problem, changing your dialogue around you know something supportive, Oh you know that's
no good. Shall we go for a run, or should we go for a walk, or encouraging them to do things that a bit more positive rather than feeding the negativity the negative side of things.
Yeah, it's easy.
When you to get sucked into that negative conversation and then all of a sudden you're there an hour later and you're still talking about the same thing.
That's right, I guess right in your book, you.
Discuss well you write about ways to cultivate and in a circle. One rate you're in a circle, which we've probably talked about. To grow your network. Three, be clear of what doesn't service your higher purpose.
Grow your network.
It's really hard or challenging when you to make friends as an adult, to make connections.
How do you do it?
So one of the things that I do with my clients on a regular basis, and you know, going through tough times or they're running small businesses and you know it seems like they're on a wheel and never coming out the other side, is to write down ten things that they're good at and ten things that make them feel really excited and you know motivated. So out of those ten things, one of them might be going to
a pilates class. So by going to a pilates class, it's something that's going to going to elevate you, make you feel good. And when you go to a pilates class, you know the people that you talk to taking five or ten minutes, Hi, how are you, how was your day? What's going on for you today? So connecting with people who are in that class, who are like minded with you. So making an effort to do something outside of what your current routine is and aligning that with the that you love to do.
And the good thing about you know, just taking those that extra time at to say pilartis classes, you're probably likely going to see the person again. Yeah, So you're choosing an activity where you know you might not be besties after one or two sessions, but give it six
weeks and you're constantly seeing people. And also the other thing, you know, I had someone actually reach out to who was on this podcast then reach out to me afterwards saying, I know this might sound a bit weird, but I feel like we vibed.
Yeah, do you want to go for coffee?
And I thought that was really I really respect that because it's quite hard to kind of ask people.
Do I just go for coffee?
Absolutely, especially when we're all so busy and all struggling to find time. And I just think sometimes asking the question if you feel there's something that you you know, there's that intangible connection to actually go and ask someone, Hey, do you want to go grab a coffee?
Yeah?
That's right.
And I think social media is a really great way of doing that and rather than just you know, seeing what people were doing and actually making comments and engaging with them on social media, and you'll be surprised how many people you know reply back to you, and you know they really appreciate that positive feedback.
So can we just pick up on the grow your network? Is that?
How do you what advice do you give to people to help grow their network, perhaps outside the inner circle?
Yeah, okay, so I mean in regards to business or in regards to you know, living, I guess a healthy life since we are.
On the Healthiest podcast.
So doing things that you know make you feel good, or you just did a marathon, you know, joining up and doing a marathon and connecting with people that you think are like minded that would be interested in running with you on a Saturday morning. In business, or you know, I work with a lot of entrepreneurs who are setting up from home. They're lonely, they're on their computers, they're
on zooms all the time. So, you know, joining a group of like minded entrepreneurs where we do visionary sessions where we all get together, have a glass of champagne, cut up magazines and create vision boards, which is a fun evening.
Sounds an type of party. Yeah, it's so fun. It's actually yeah, and it does work.
What you believe in and what you vision and vision, visualize and manifest really really does come true. And especially when you put it all, you know, onto a board that you can look at your on your desk or or wherever you might be every day.
There's something there's a common spread through all your answers, and that is actually meeting people in person. And I think often we you know, we get caught behind the screens and we're on Zoom and we're like, oh, I don't really want to go out and meet this person. You know, it can be ature, but go and when you're there, it's amazing that connection that can happen when you're actually in the flesh.
Absolutely and we are all, you know, stuck behind computers and zooms and.
It is very easy these days.
But I notice a difference with my staff and my business if we're doing a Zoom strategy session or we meet up in person, you know, the different and actually personally personally connecting with people is huge. So you know, making a list and maybe once a week you're reaching out to someone to go and grab a coffee with who inspires you and just have a chat. You just never know where things will go.
Yeah, well, thank you for making it in person in studio today. Oh, thank you for having much better than not our online studio.
Yeah, thank you.
Are you clear on who is in your inner circle? Perhaps it does change over the years, Well mine certainly has, anyway, something to think about as we move into twenty twenty five, we can say that.
Right, Yeah, it's nearly We're nearly there. Anyway.
I hope you did enjoy this chat with Vanka. If you did, tell us you can subscribe to Healthy Ish, leave us a review, anything else, heat to body insoul dot com. Do you follow us on socials? You can grab me at Felicity Harley, grab our print edition which is out your local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay healthy Ish