Today’s podcast answers a question from someone whose elderly mother is in need of help, but has cut herself off from her adult children. The mother has behaved harmfully to her kids in the past and suffers from mental illness. The submitter of the question is racked with despair, sadness, anger, and guilt. She is also profoundly struggling with confusion over what her role or duty is as a daughter. When dealing with a dysfunctional family of origin, we need to stay tethered to our own family no...
Oct 11, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who suffered abuse when very young. In addition to that, she suffered abandonment from her parents when they did not support her and kept it as a shameful secret. Despite all of this, the submitter of the question seeks God and comes to church, but carries heavy burdens of beliefs that God doesn’t love her, is fed up with her, and that she does a poor job of showing Christian love. The reality is, her life is a shining example of the Christian life...
Oct 04, 2024
Today's podcast answers a series of questions from someone wanting to help their friend not be so vulnerable to relationships with people suffer from narcissistic traits. Specifically, what makes people vulnerable to narcissistic behaviors and how to heal from the very things that make us vulnerable to being manipulated. The real reality is, everything that we need is within us and overlooked. Today’s podcast offers detailed insights into the dynamics that keep people trapped in trying to please...
Sep 27, 2024
Today’s podcast discusses a difficult topic. Narcissism is a word that evokes strong emotions in many. It is a loaded word that no one wants to be associated with. However, it is on the rise, and it is time for us to start having very open and genuine discussions about it. Narcissism is a continuum or spectrum. The various presentations of it on each part of the spectrum are discussed.
Sep 20, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to understand why their friendships and relationships don’t go very far and always seem to end broken. Despite doing years of talk therapy this pattern persists. To break out from trauma, there will be behaviors that need to be changed and new procedural memories to be learned.
Sep 13, 2024
Today’s podcast offers a brief reflection of how to incorporate our traumatic or painful experiences into our spiritual life. It also speaks to the negative beliefs of believing that somehow it means something bad about us or our relationship with God that we had these experiences. Our spiritual life is spent ascending the slopes of Mount Tabor. Having to do the healing work offers us unique gifts and tools to help us ascend more efficiently.
Aug 23, 2024
Today’s podcast discusses how what is stored in our implicit memory can often drive so much of our present life and cause us to live according to a past narrative that is obsolete, rather than our present life. Unlike behaviors, which are easier to target and isolate, because they have a beginning and an end; painful memories stored in implicit memory can dictate our present behavior and be much harder to detect because the narrative is so pervasive in our life. But there is hope, today’s podcas...
Aug 16, 2024
Today’s podcast speaks to someone who is seeking advice over how to get relief from their unceasing envy and the act of always comparing themselves to others. Today’s podcast explores how our envy is rooted in either resentment, yearning, or is fear based. Uncovering what we are really missing and yearning for, can bring quick relief to envy and comparing ourselves to others.
Aug 02, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who finally overcame their fear of seeking a relationship and ended up getting rejected. When we’ve had a history of painful experiences or trauma, such rejections can make us feel like it’s happening all over again. However, the victory lies in that we did not practice avoidance, but had the courage to be vulnerable and to try. So long as our source of self-worth and self-esteem lies in ourselves and from God, then rejections don’t have to take so...
Jul 26, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from a husband and wife who are struggling with the toxic and abusive behavior of their in-laws. For many years, they thought that honoring one’s mother and father meant tolerating the abuse and striving to appease them. The husband and wife are now realizing that this is not sustainable and wanting to change, but are struggling with feelings of guilt that somehow they are not forgiving or honoring their parents. The truth is that the setting of boundaries and ...
Jul 19, 2024
Today’s podcast discusses various obstacles to practicing acceptance of our life and the present moment and how to resolve those obstacles. It’s very liberating and peaceful to come to the realization that it’s okay and safe to accept the present. It’s precisely then, that we have an open chapter before us, and to become quite deliberate with what we write in that empty space.
Jul 12, 2024
Today’s podcast speaks on the topic of age regressions. Some of our most profound moments of discomfort in our lives can occur when we are experiencing an age regression, in which we revert back to an earlier time in our life or developmental stage, as a result of stress, unmet needs, or life changes. Understanding this phenomenon, and how to resolve it, is the focal point of today’s topic.
Jul 05, 2024
Today’s podcast discusses an essential skill that is needed for the healing work. When in counseling, one of the roles of the counselor is to help us see the larger things that are going on in our lives or what is really behind our struggles. However, we can learn to do this with ourselves as well. It is critical for the healing work and it is critical for our spiritual life. We can learn to use our mind’s eye as a microscope, to know when to zoom in and zoom out, in order to see what we need to...
Jun 21, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who fears that their struggles with attachment and abandonment will disrupt any future marriage. The idea of future relationships seems murky and intimidating. Today’s podcast focuses on how to reduce that murkiness and create clarity, goals, and clear direction moving forward into the arena of relationships.
Jun 07, 2024
Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who’s trying to understand their spouse’s anger. Inevitably, all of us have projected or displaced emotions meant for ourselves onto our spouses. Sometimes when we work our ourselves, admit our mistakes, apologize, it can remind our spouse of what they themselves might not be doing. Some spouses will consider this an invitation to improve themselves and step up, yet for some, it can have a very different effect. Trying to decipher what’s behind the...
May 31, 2024
Many who struggle with depression carry shame and guilt over their depression. We might feel weak, inadequate, and even that we are being ungrateful. The reality is, that those who are the most healthy often will struggle with depression at some point, because of the dysfunction of others and because of the fallen world in which we live.
May 24, 2024
Today’s podcast discusses how the resurrection appearances are evidence that God does not abandon us to grief and loss. What modern day trauma research is telling us, God was already putting into practice in the aftermath of His betrayal crucifixion.
May 17, 2024
Today’s podcast explores an ever present reality when we struggle in relationships. That reality is the possibility that we are struggling with a disrupted attachment style. We all have a need for love and safety. When in early life, an early caregiver was not consistent in providing love and safety, it can create a template for how we perceive and function in relationships. Understanding our attachment style provides the healing path to resolution, stability, and peace.
May 10, 2024
Anger is a difficult emotion to admit. This is especially true of anger that is rooted in deep, past experiences. To admit anger is to admit we are vulnerable and that we were hurt. There are social stigmas associated with anger. However, hidden anger reaches out into the present and often manifests itself in a sour, negative mood and in constant complaining. We can also try to mask anger as righteous indignation over imperfections in our present life and in others. Turning to, admitting, and ac...
Apr 26, 2024
Today’s podcast answers questions pertaining to the pain of having been in a relationship where there was trauma bonding. Such a relationship can be so confusing, because with the painful abuse there were times of seemingly positive behavior. Also, when the person with whom we were trauma bonded passes away, it can lead to complicated grief. Navigating the confusion of trauma bonding is the focal point of today’s podcast.
Apr 19, 2024
Today's episode focuses on how late in the healing work we can feel like we have regressed if we begin to struggle again or have emotional discomfort. Often, it is normal life stress from the present. Sometimes also, it is because we are not allowing ourselves to have normal negative emotions, for fear of what that would mean.
Apr 12, 2024
Today’s podcast is a discussion about when we run and flee from God’s callings for us. We are all called to heal, and we are all called to cooperate with time and age. In all these areas we can practice avoidance and be like the prophet Jonah, who tried to run and flee from God‘s plan. When we do this, we only hurt ourselves and suffer more in the long run. Learning to be aware of and master our inner Jonah, can make life more peaceful.
Apr 05, 2024
Today’s podcast answers the question of how can a husband and wife who both have trauma histories, stop the cycle of constantly inflicting pain on each other and triggering each other. How couples can make their worst hours their finest hours, is covered in the podcast.
Mar 29, 2024
Today’s podcast answers the question of what to do when we begin to feel resentful or taken advantage of in our parish. The discussion explore the possibilities of our situation being self-inflicted through enabling or us being taken advantage of. Often times it’s a combination of both, even when all involved are well intentioned. Discerning which one it is, and the solution, are discussed.
Mar 22, 2024
As we approach Forgiveness Sunday, many of us are mindful of forgiving the living and seeking forgiveness from the living. However, what if we need to forgive the departed or are seeking forgiveness from them? Today’s podcast explores this topic, and explains the path to healing relationships with the departed.
Mar 15, 2024
Today’s podcast answers the question of how do we overcome our fear of conflict? No one really likes conflict. However, for some of us, it can have a paralyzing effect. If we were exposed to excessive and unhealthy upset and anger early in life, we can lose our confidence and feel powerless in the face of conflict in the present. Learning, and then unlearning, what we came to believe about ourselves as a result of other people’s upset, can lead us to finding our courage and confidence in resolvi...
Mar 08, 2024
Today’s podcast answers the question of how can the Orthodox divine liturgy play a role in someone’s healing. Starting from the time one enters the interior space of the church, throughout the liturgy, and even in the post liturgy interactions, there are plenty healing opportunities. The podcast also discusses making sure that our participation in liturgy is healthy and healing.
Mar 01, 2024
When our early life was deprived of the baseline of learning what is normal with regards to normal emotions, normal upset, and normal life changes, we can go through life feeling life we are missing our inner compass that tells us whats okay and what is normal in our present life. This can lead to chronic doubt and uncertainty. We can retrain ourselves and learn what is normal in the present, so that we have a more peaceful inner world.
Feb 23, 2024
Today’s podcast addresses the question submitted by someone who suffered from narcissistic abuse. As a result of the dynamics of the relationship, they were left with a profound sense of shame. Understanding this kind of abuse is the first step in healing from it. In addition, long after the toxic relationship is over, we may perpetuate the abuse through how we relate with ourselves resulting in “shame spirals”.
Feb 16, 2024
Today’s episode answers a question from an individual who is a parent and has their own healthy family, but in many ways is having to still parent their family of origin which has been dysfunctional. When this is a role that we have played for a long time, it is very confusing, and often we are saddled with guilt at making our present family our priority. Setting boundaries does not mean we are abandoning our family of origin. When we don’t set boundaries, we might be enabling our family of orig...
Feb 09, 2024
