[How Believing In Scarcity Keeps You Codependent] In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your expert in healing codependency, reveals how scarcity beliefs keep you stuck in better-than-nothing relationships, perpetuating cycles of pain, loss, and harm, and how to begin to nurture yourself into a practical, realistic sense of abundance. Whether you're new to codependency or have being in the work of healing it, this episode will help you stay within your integrity, prevent sabotage of your relations...
Jun 16, 2025•13 min
Marshall discusses the importance of persistence, why it is necessary, and how having the proper foundation of emotional regulation, safety, self-trust, self-worth, and community is essential to this. Get the Breakthrough Bundle here: https://bb.freetheself.com Learn more about Marshall's work here: https://www.healyourcodependency.com
May 19, 2025•7 min
Why You Chase Love... In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your expert in healing codependency, uncovers the core reason you chase love, tolerate better-than-nothing relationships, and the core self-concept that needs to be shifted for this pattern to stop and your new pattern of loving, available relationships to start. Whether you're new to codependency or have being in the work of healing it, this episode will help you stay within your integrity, prevent sabotage of your relationships, and, in...
Apr 21, 2025•15 min
Why You Can't Keep Your Boundaries (And What To Do About It) In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your expert in healing codependency, reveals the core reason you struggle to keep and maintain your boundaries, and what you need to practice to make boundaries feel safer, easier, and empowering for you. Whether you're new to codependency or have being in the work of healing it, this episode will help you stay within your integrity, prevent sabotage of your relationships, and, instead, strengthen th...
Mar 13, 2025•11 min
How To Heal Insecurity Correctly **** In this powerful episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation mentor, reveals the true cause of insecurity, anxiety, and feeling unworthy and unlovable and how to begin feeling actually worthy, secure, and confident within yourself. Whether you're facing anxiety, burn-out, frustration, emotional emptiness, feeling lost to yourself, this episode will help you begin to reverse this and start experiencing a sense of power, connection, and direct...
Feb 25, 2025•5 min
It Isn't About Healing Codependency In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation expert, invites you to explore what healing codependency really is about - your life beyond survival. He shares what he sees is possible for you and how he helps you achieve this, starting with FOUNDATION. We heal together. We thrive together. *** Take my free "Are You Codependent?" Quiz here: https://ayc.freetheself.com *** Discover the cause and cure of codependency in my free 30 minute tra...
Feb 21, 2025•14 min
Take Back The Authority Over Your Worth In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation expert, shares how essential it is to restore your worth by taking authority over it. Your self-authority is *why* you get to define who you are, establish your worth without seeking permission, and become the person you choose to be. It is what replaces codependency. Use this episode's guidance to heal codependency, restore worth, and build a satisfying life. We heal together. We thrive ...
Feb 18, 2025•8 min
What's Attachment Got To Do With Codependency? In this episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation expert, reveals how attachment orientations, like anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment, are part of the codependent strategy of survival and how it is necessary to build capacity in the nervous system so your attachment system becomes nimble and responsive. Use this episode's guidance to help reduce anxiety, loneliness, and pain and increase your wor...
Feb 17, 2025•14 min
Why You Fixate On Other People's Approval In this powerful episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation mentor, reveals a hidden necessity to healing your codependency and experiencing sustainable, fulfilling freedom and prosperity beyond it. Without grasping and embodying this quality, you will continue to seek permission from others to be, do, and have what you desire in your life. Your sense of self, power, and belonging will be defined by the expectations of others, leaving y...
Feb 15, 2025•19 min
How To Correctly Prioritize Yourself **** In this powerful episode, Marshall Burtcher, your codependency transformation mentor, reveals the habit that leads us to emotional burn-out, emptiness, and resentment, and teaches you the first essential skill to take back your power, your freedom, and well-being from codependency. Whether you're facing anxiety, burn-out, frustration, emotional emptiness, feeling lost to yourself, this episode will help you begin to reverse this and start experiencing a ...
Feb 07, 2025•20 min
Breaking Misconceptions #1: What Codependency Isn't! Healing your codependency depends on you having the correct knowledge, practices, support, and structure. There are powerful, dangerous misconceptions about codependency that are sabotaging your healing and preventing you from succeeding and healing as fast as you deserve to have. Healing your codependency depends on you having the correct knowledge, practices, support, and structure. Today Today, I explore misconception one: Codependency is p...
Jan 31, 2025•13 min
How To Stop People-pleasing: Taking Back Your Worth One of the key entanglements that drives the people-pleasing impulse has to do with your worth. We are taught a transactional model of worth, meaning we earn it by doing xyz. In people-pleasing, what our worth is dependent on is approval and the avoidance of rejection. This creates massive anxiety, hypervigilance, and insecurity in our sense of self. Shifting this orientation and taking back your worth is CENTRAL to ending people-pleasing. Lear...
Jan 23, 2025•10 min
How To Stop People-pleasing: Are You Making Their Feelings Too Important? People-pleasing drives us to over-prioritize and emphasize people's negative feelings towards us and towards other things. This can motivate us to try to fix their feelings, which blinds us to important realities about what is happening, including: 1) Incompatibilities between you and that person 2) Boundary violations that you've done or they've done 3) Ignoring of your intuition and sense of the situation 4) Knowing what...
Jan 21, 2025•14 min
Are You Blended Up In Them? Codependency and people-pleasing require a high level of vigilance and emotional enmeshment with others in order to feel some sense of safety. This happens because the nervous system and attachment system discovered that regulating others feels safer than living with the chaos created by the toxic relationship's uncertainty. It found that if it can attune and soothe or please the other, the chaos lessens and they even get some breadcrumbs of affirmation, love, belongi...
Jan 15, 2025•15 min
The 3 perils of doing it yourself healing... I have done a lot of DIY healing. Some of it was all I had available to me due to finances. Much of it was due to a deep wound in my identity that said, "be needless. do it yourself" and "when they know you this way, they'll abandon you." Being raised to regulate other people's feelings with the promise that they'll take care of me and then being betrayed and abandoned when I was in need created this. Many "needless" codependents have this same strugg...
Jan 10, 2025•15 min
Changing our minds is an essential part of being our personal, sovereign authority. And I have changed my mind and made a change. FOUNDATION is rescheduled for later this Spring so I can follow what the energy I feel is directing: People-pleasing Transformed - 6 Weeks To Radical Self-Trust And Peace This 6-week journey guides you through unblending from your people-pleasing identity, embodying your Confidence Identity, and have the capacity to tolerate and soothe the discomfort that moves you to...
Jan 08, 2025•14 min
What Purpose Is Driving Your Healing? We have motivators that drive what we do. The motivators that drive codependency are very, very different from those that drive our well-being. In this episode, I discuss these two types of purpose and how to detect and shift them so you're coming from alignment with your power rather than the reactive nature of codependency, resulting in more outcomes you want. *** CORRECTION: Class starts SUNDAY JANUARY 19th, 2025. FOUNDATION starts January 19th, 2025. Enj...
Dec 29, 2024•13 min
2025 brings you and I into a pivot in the work. I will be focusing on leading you to the results that matter to you. This all starts with understanding IDENTITY. And through a 4-step process, you get the results you seek faster and easier than you've thought was possible. I'm calling it, "ACCELERATE". My "Leap The Gap" Training happening December 18th will show you what this is, how it works, and why it will transform your healing work into satisfaction, success, peace, or even surprise for you ...
Nov 23, 2024•11 min
When you've gone through trauma, the brain tends to amplify it's negative bias, creating negative anticipation towards uncertain things. We find ourselves planning for the worst, as it gives us a sense of power and comfort. It makes sense. The negative thing has happened to us in the past and we want to be prepared. This must be balanced with positive anticipation, especially when facing the mundane uncertainties life brings us. Learn a gentle, two-step practice to start experiencing more peace,...
Nov 06, 2024•13 min
It will be essential, at some point, to admit to and embrace the authority and power you rightly, naturally possess to direct and govern your life. You cannot exit codependency without this vital step, as it will keep you tethered to the power of other people's approval, rejection, disappointment, and agreement. The anxiety of making your own choice, following your own path, even trusting yourself to choose what's best for you on a daily basis comes from tethering our personal authority and powe...
Sep 25, 2024•17 min
How a therapist, coach, mentor, support community, or even yourself view codependency and codependents directly influences the outcomes, results, and transformation you experience (or don't) in that relationship. This is why it is crucial you're aware of how prospective mentors, therapists, coaches, and so forth view and understand you and the topic you're working with. Today, I share how I view codependency and codependents. This will help you make a more informed decision about if and when to ...
Sep 11, 2024•15 min
The Importance of Gains: What is a gain? It is a positive outcome we receive through a choice we make or a choice we do not make. An example: I gained my peace of mind by not going back to the dysfunctional person. Why does this matter? Gains are the benefits we receive with a positive, healthy change. If we let ourselves recognize and magnify the gain, it helps our body adapt and adjust quickly to the new state of affairs rather than linger in the yearning, seeking, or rumination on the positiv...
Sep 04, 2024•10 min
Pain vs Your Story Transformation of a person's pain-filled life to a joy-filled life is the journey of healing and becoming who you truly be. It has three Phases: Survival, Healing, and Creation And in each of these, there is a work we do around identity and one's pain. In the Survival Phase, the pain and the identity are the same. "I am angry!" "I am shameful!" "I am unworthy!" "I am invisible!" This creates the never-ending loop of painful outcomes that drive many of us to seek relief from th...
Aug 28, 2024•14 min
Burden of Cause What is the "burden of cause"? It is a term I use to describe believing you cause other people to treat you the way they treated you. When we are enmeshed this way, we will internalize people's behaviors as a reflection of some internal flaw or problem that we then must change. This leads us to believe that the other person will change, too, creating a potent fantasy that leaves us hurting, helpless, and confused. Listen in this episode to learn how to detect if you're taking on ...
Aug 21, 2024•11 min
De-centering others and centering yourself in your life is *necessary*, not selfish. It is about understanding what matters personally to you while setting aside other people's opinions and perspectives of what you should be centering in your life. They are not the authority, and they do not live with the outcome like you do. You are the authority. You inherent the outcome and consequence of your actions. Thus, you must center yourself if your life is to yield well-being, peace, satisfaction, or...
Jul 24, 2024•17 min
Knowledge overwhelm is a primary factor in experiencing freeze, procrastination, and loops of stagnation when you're trying to heal from trauma and instability. The mind's ravenous appetite for knowledge is driven by a fantasy that "if I'd only known better, I could have done better". There's a deep assumption that we're lacking something specific and when we find that specific thing, we will HEAL! What makes this so compelling is that it isn't necessarily wrong. But it is also not useful when y...
Jul 20, 2024•12 min
Going Slow - It Is A Must To heal, we must sloooooow down. To know ourselves, we must sloooooow down. To find direction in our lives, we must slooooooow down. Codependency, trauma, and the culture of "productivity" demands you speed up. You get it done now. Faster! Faster! FASTER! Healing, thriving, having a sense of self, liking yourself, loving yourself, loving others, feeling satisfaction - these all come from first slooooowing down. Slowing down helps us hear our own voice. It helps us step ...
Jul 18, 2024•12 min
Being neglected, being abused, being shoved into the world without guidance, care, shelter, or protection wired our attachment systems to be on high alert and braced for danger. Depending on what feels safest, your attachment system may try to control external things, resulting in anxious attachment. Or it may choose to avoid the threat all together and be needless and "independent", creating avoidant attachment. Or, if you're like me, you might experience high levels of anxiety about approachin...
Jul 10, 2024•16 min
Emotional Perfectionism, Part One: Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real things I define emotional perfectionism as the rigid habit of feeling what one "should feel" in order to satisfy the real or perceived expectations of others. It is a sub-type of General Perfectionism, where behaviors and expressions are tailored to meet external expectations. This is a codependency behavior designed to help procure safety, belonging, and worth. Emotional perfectionism shows up as: - Ignorin...
Jun 27, 2024•11 min
Creation Phase is where you arrive with the ability to determine what kind of experiences you want to have, and then using your personal power, intuition, and skills, go out and receive those experiences. This all depends on knowing what you *actually* want, not what you think you want (which is often a product of trauma controling things rather than a genuine alignment within ourselves). This phase is all about understanding, creating, and following the alignments that lead you to outcomes are ...
Jun 21, 2024•8 min
